Nonfiction

Cinderella Ate My Daughter

Cinderella Ate My Daughter

  • Downloads：3495
  • Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
  • Create Date：2021-04-16 11:55:32
  • Update Date：2025-09-06
  • Status：finish
  • Author：Peggy Orenstein
  • ISBN：0061711535
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Summary

The acclaimed author of the groundbreaking bestseller Schoolgirls reveals the dark side of pink and pretty: the rise of the girlie-girl， she warns， is not that innocent。

Sweet and sassy or predatory and hardened， sexualized girlhood influences our daughters from infancy onward， telling them that how a girl looks matters more than who she is。 Somewhere between the exhilarating rise of Girl Power in the 1990s and today， the pursuit of physical perfection has been recast as the source of female empowerment。 And commercialization has spread the message faster and farther， reaching girls at ever-younger ages。 But how dangerous is pink and pretty， anyway？ Being a princess is just make-believe; eventually they grow out of it 。 。 。 or do they？

In search of answers， Peggy Orenstein visited Disneyland， trolled American Girl Place， and met parents of beauty-pageant preschoolers tricked out like Vegas showgirls。 The stakes turn out to be higher than she ever imagined。 From premature sexualization to the risk of depression to rising rates of narcissism， the potential negative impact of this new girlie-girl culture is undeniable—yet armed with awareness and recognition， parents can effectively counterbalance its influence in their daughters' lives。

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Reviews

Jenna ，

Although this is now somewhat dated — even being published in 2011 — it’s still practically required reading for any parents of daughters。 Some of the revealed facts are absolutely jaw-dropping， and they’ll definitely make you think harder about what our daughters are consuming， what we’re consuming for them， and why we’re doing it。 The prose is casual and is often quite funny but still packs a punch when it comes to its message。

Shar ，

Not sure， after finishing this book， how I really feel about it。 I empathize with the author as she takes a long， winding journey to come to a conclusion that every mother already knows。 One can only provide one's child with the tools to deal with outside culture and ideas and critical thinking to be able to evaluate that same world。 Once the child actually encounters the outside world then they will have to navigate that path themselves。 Hopefully， we all seek to have our children bring a littl Not sure， after finishing this book， how I really feel about it。 I empathize with the author as she takes a long， winding journey to come to a conclusion that every mother already knows。 One can only provide one's child with the tools to deal with outside culture and ideas and critical thinking to be able to evaluate that same world。 Once the child actually encounters the outside world then they will have to navigate that path themselves。 Hopefully， we all seek to have our children bring a little of our beliefs to their own journey。 Orenstein has done a lot of homework and puts a lot of her statistics and history behind illustrating and providing more context for the personal anecdotes that pervade the text and which she uses to get an angle for her message。 I am not always onboard with how she treats each subject。 There was a chapter on weight and body image that I may have misunderstood her tone as serious when she was being sarcastic or trying to make a point。 Either way， it was a chapter I did not enjoy。 I also thought her small rant about Britney Spears lacking in more than surface knowledge of the singer's personal circumstances and very belittling toward mental health as the author uses a term for a specific mental illness in what seemed to me to be a derogatory manner。 Here again， maybe I misread her tone or an element of her writing style。 The question I ask myself after reading books in this field is did I learn anything new？ This time I don't think I carried away any new information。 I gained no new perspectives。 I occasionally wondered at the author's own interpretations and over-emphasis on gender。 It was fine。 。。。more

Krista Summerhays ，

I liked this book and found it thought provoking， but I didn’t find it particularly helpful in providing suggestions for actually addressing the “girly girl culture。”

gina ，

3。5。 I would definitely be interested in reading an updated edition of this book！

Karinka ，

Interesting book， an easy read， but limited in a way。 I would have liked more insight on the specifics of raising a mixed race daughter （as the author has this experience herself） and a bit less focus on the rich。 The author expressed right in the beginning her belief that somehow her community （rich， educated people at Berkley， California） is more enlightened when it comes to education or feminism - asking herself about if this happens in her circles， what about the other places where women act Interesting book， an easy read， but limited in a way。 I would have liked more insight on the specifics of raising a mixed race daughter （as the author has this experience herself） and a bit less focus on the rich。 The author expressed right in the beginning her belief that somehow her community （rich， educated people at Berkley， California） is more enlightened when it comes to education or feminism - asking herself about if this happens in her circles， what about the other places where women actually shave their legs？！ Well guess what， Peggy， you may be surprised。 Not everyone outside of California shaves their legs， for starters， AND not everyone who shaves their legs is clueless about female objectification！ In a way， I felt like the material richness around her blinded her; I'm one of those people who can't afford to buy 500$ worth of doll accessories in one go （not that I would if I could - like， how exactly is that supposed to give the right message to your girl？！ Got other hobbies than shopping at all？） but I'm VERY invested in raising a confident， smart daughter with healthy values。 Another thing I found a bit off in the narrative - where were all the fathers？ She speaks a lot about other mothers but it's not like a father has no say in raising a girl。。。anyway， this is a very US-centric book， but well written and fun to read， like her newspaper articles。 I'm still going to check out her other books even though I may be rolling my eyes while reading。 。。。more

Ross ，

I have been wanting to read this book for a long time， the title alone drew me in。 I really like Orenstein's writing because it's very conversational she speaks from the heart， her own experience but balances research and interviews with people both young and old。 For this book her daughter's interests and experiences shape many of the questions。 As a parent， I appreciated hearing about someone else's experience with Princess culture。 I can relate because we have engaged in various aspects of th I have been wanting to read this book for a long time， the title alone drew me in。 I really like Orenstein's writing because it's very conversational she speaks from the heart， her own experience but balances research and interviews with people both young and old。 For this book her daughter's interests and experiences shape many of the questions。 As a parent， I appreciated hearing about someone else's experience with Princess culture。 I can relate because we have engaged in various aspects of the princess culture at my house。 She mentioned the original Grimm stories in the book， I'm interested in exploring those fables further。 I'd recommend this book and other works by Orenstein to other young parents or any reader。 You might be surprised by what you hear。 。。。more

Rina H ，

This book was overall really good but I was left wanting more。

Bonnie ，

Got me thinking。。。

Joy Joy ，

I think all mothers of daughters should read this book。 Although there were many stories and issues I wanted her to dig deeper into， I think this book brings up many important concerns when it comes to parenting， specifically girls。

Josephine Akinwumiju ，

I really enjoyed this book。 I would love to see a revised version to account for the current climate。 There were so many great points made， but I know that so much has changed since this book was written。

Michael Johnson ，

Fascinating look into strategic marketing segmentation of girls， including the Disney princess empire， girl music & fashion stars， and emotional analysis of female behavior at all ages。 Some references are a wee bit dated， but overall and valuable read。

Megan ，

This book is so interesting and makes me feel bad for girls growing up today。 Their path to self-actualization and self-knowledge is sabotaged from early on。 It also brings up questions of how I was raised and what influenced my own self-image/relationship to femininity。 As someone without children it was still very thought-provoking。

Cait ，

Excellent writing and research。 I specifically take issue with her analysis of The Little Mermaid， and I don’t think she tackles intersectionality， race， or neurodiversity well （or at all）。 But I would highly recommend this。 I’d be interested to hear what she has to say， 10 years later。

Vanna ，

I can't （don't know how to） rate this book so here are my opinions:I really really liked Orenstein's writing style as she brings forth personal stories as well as research into her book， with words that pulls the readers with intrigue。 I thought it was an interesting book on the insight of the girly-girl culture and how it has been fed in our society through marketing and such。 As someone who was born in 2000， I grew up with Barbies， American Girl dolls， Bratz （although I never had one）， Disney I can't （don't know how to） rate this book so here are my opinions:I really really liked Orenstein's writing style as she brings forth personal stories as well as research into her book， with words that pulls the readers with intrigue。 I thought it was an interesting book on the insight of the girly-girl culture and how it has been fed in our society through marketing and such。 As someone who was born in 2000， I grew up with Barbies， American Girl dolls， Bratz （although I never had one）， Disney Princesses， Disney "girl" tv shows， and more。 However， I was and am a fat girl， now a woman who was raised in a thin， girly-girl culture-- something that is slightly overlooked within this book， other than the offensive addition of Ava the fat child who is ridiculed。 I think that the message within this book about how girls are marketed as wanna-be princesses， an adorer of pink， and much more is correct but to place Disney Princesses and young actresses who do not wish to stay as a child forever as the main， significant source of why young girls are influenced and swayed toward the girly act is a little eye-rolling excuse。 I grew up with all the Disney princesses （except for Pocahantos because it wasn't one of my favorites， and I don't even know much about it besides the basic plotline and inappropriate age of the real people behind the main characters）。 As much as I would have adored a fat princess， it never happened， and am I bitter？ Eh， maybe a little， but not enough to say， Disney princesses are bad。 I think some may have an old-fashioned view， but princesses like Ariel are young and yes， she falls in love with a human prince and wishes away her voice， but she always wanted to be on land， so she got to experience love and adventure！ I think Orenstein has villainized Disney princesses too much and only gave credit to very few princesses that are of obvious different morals （such as Mulan， one of my favorite animated princess movies）。 I do think many of the older Disney movies are of questionable value， such as Snow White or Cinderella， but I feel like those are not the ones remembered as much。 I am still very interested in reading Orenstein's other work， more specifically Boys and Sex and Girls and Sex， and again， really did enjoy this book; however， it came a little preachy and the ending wasn't that great for a conclusion。 。。。more

Coriander ，

I really enjoyed the points made in this book。 Yet I didn’t ever feel like there was a conclusion drawn or a definite answer to the nonsense that culture tells women。 Basically everything is a marketing scheme yes， but where do we draw the line？ I have a lot of questions and I didn’t agree with her on everything。 Yes， I agree we should objectify women - but are we not allowed to enjoy our sexuality just as men do？ It’s a double standard that has long bothered me。 And I don’t think we really have I really enjoyed the points made in this book。 Yet I didn’t ever feel like there was a conclusion drawn or a definite answer to the nonsense that culture tells women。 Basically everything is a marketing scheme yes， but where do we draw the line？ I have a lot of questions and I didn’t agree with her on everything。 Yes， I agree we should objectify women - but are we not allowed to enjoy our sexuality just as men do？ It’s a double standard that has long bothered me。 And I don’t think we really have an answer to fix this。 I wish there were more solutions to the problems that face women in business and culture。 What I did take away was that children should not be watching Disney princess movies in their early developmental years。 They are not good role models and Princess’ teach girls to do nothing and focus on beauty and looks as if that is their only assets。 Children should also be given opportunities to socialize with kids of the opposite gender， as statistics show， kids who have friends of the opposite gender transition to dating and marriage much better。 And are generally more stable in life。 We should not be putting boys and girls against each other， this kind of segregation implies to children that boys/girls are somehow a mystery and foreign and there is no opportunity to actually talk or understand the other。 This is paramount to learning and creating stable lives for kids as they get older。 More of a flushed out review to come when I collect my thoughts。 。。。more

Andy ，

Loved the premise and content and honest acknowledgement of the struggle。 So much of what she said I absolutely agree with

Tatiana ，

I got two chapters into this book and then I gave up in disgust。 This is a book about whiny， upper-middle-class mothers who simultaneously think that watching Snow White is going to traumatize their child beyond repair but at the same time refuse to stop buying them the princess gear they claim to despise。 I was sitting here with my mouth hanging open that these mothers will go to enormous lengths to ban Disney films from the house but apparently cannot muster up the courage to talk to their chi I got two chapters into this book and then I gave up in disgust。 This is a book about whiny， upper-middle-class mothers who simultaneously think that watching Snow White is going to traumatize their child beyond repair but at the same time refuse to stop buying them the princess gear they claim to despise。 I was sitting here with my mouth hanging open that these mothers will go to enormous lengths to ban Disney films from the house but apparently cannot muster up the courage to talk to their child about the cultural messages they are absorbing。 Reading this book would make you think that simply touching a dress or magic wand is enough to send your six-year-old hurtling down the slippery slope of anorexia and self harm。 The whole point is that the girly-girl narrative is harmful for girls' development。 Fine， I can believe that。 But at no point does anyone bring up having a discussion about it。 They are too busy bending to the will of their whining children in the American Girl store， buying them hundreds of dollars of the very things they claim will ruin their lives。 I would dread being raised by any one of these people。 。。。more

Jessica ，

a concept worth exploring， but Orenstein definitely missed the mark。 Lots of concern trolling， slut shaming， and white feminism going on here。

Dea ，

This is less in depth child psychology， and more of an everyday explanation of how to put all that wonderful research into practice。 A sort of 'where the rubber meets the road' book。 With great simple explanations on why a doll dressed in hooker wear and stripper heels is not an appropriate toy for an 8 year old without needing to provide a primer on feminist theory first。 This is less in depth child psychology， and more of an everyday explanation of how to put all that wonderful research into practice。 A sort of 'where the rubber meets the road' book。 With great simple explanations on why a doll dressed in hooker wear and stripper heels is not an appropriate toy for an 8 year old without needing to provide a primer on feminist theory first。 。。。more

Amy ，

I must read for moms who are raising daughters， who grapple with how to help their daughters navigate our current society， what it means to be "feminine，" "girly" and "beautiful。" She raises more questions than answers。 I did have a hard time getting through it， it's a little bit wordy and repetitive。 However， I think she does a great job helping the reader think through many different aspects of raising girls in today's culture。 Most concerning to me were how marketing us aiming things like mak I must read for moms who are raising daughters， who grapple with how to help their daughters navigate our current society， what it means to be "feminine，" "girly" and "beautiful。" She raises more questions than answers。 I did have a hard time getting through it， it's a little bit wordy and repetitive。 However， I think she does a great job helping the reader think through many different aspects of raising girls in today's culture。 Most concerning to me were how marketing us aiming things like makeup and sexy clothes to younger and younger children all the time。 I left when I read the part where her 3-year-old started going to daycare and came home asking to wear dresses every single day within a couple of days。 Try as I might to shelter my own daughter from "princess culture，" lo and behold， the same thing happened when she turned three （she hadn't even seen a Disney movie yet）。 Every single stranger， friend， family member we see， the first thing they say to her is how pretty her dress is or how cute she is。 I really think that is where we need to start changing in our culture。 Let's set better examples for our daughters if we want them to have a self esteem based in something other than appearances。 。。。more

Chidi-Ochiagha Chiamaka Claire ，

Jjj

Cristina ，

Even though only written a few years ago， there’s been so much that has happened since in the world of young girls that it was a little outdated。 With that said though， I highly recommend this read if you have children （daughters and sons）。

Angela ，

I had a tough time getting through this one。 It was really outdated， which I should have realized right away。 It gave some good insight， but I did not agree with all of her opinions。 It felt like she is too caught up on this idea of girl culture and princess culture。 She thinks way more about it than necessary in my personal opinion。 I enjoyed learning the background of why certain products were made and why others phased out。

Callie ，

Well written and thought provokingI wasn't entirely sure what to expect， but the title drew me in。。。and I wasn't disappointed。 Great insight and well researched this cultural exploration of dressing girls in pink and making them all confirm to the princess theory shows no matter how far we've come and no matter how much things appear to have changed， the underlying current isn't as innocent and forward thinking as we'd like to believe 。。。 wish it would have been around when my own daughter was y Well written and thought provokingI wasn't entirely sure what to expect， but the title drew me in。。。and I wasn't disappointed。 Great insight and well researched this cultural exploration of dressing girls in pink and making them all confirm to the princess theory shows no matter how far we've come and no matter how much things appear to have changed， the underlying current isn't as innocent and forward thinking as we'd like to believe 。。。 wish it would have been around when my own daughter was young。 。。。more

864cw ，

Entertaining！ I read Grim’s Fairly Tales to my kids in the 80’s。 That remembrance made me chuckle。 I read Girls and Sex and Boys and Sex。 Certainly gives us something to think about。

Lindsy Crutchfield ，

Read for a class in college and absolutely LOVED

Lot ，

Oke dus dit is een boek over het opvoeden van dochters in de “hedendaagse” cultuur。 Maar omdat het gepubliceerd was in 2011， was ik dus de dochter en kan ik me hee erg vinden in de kritiek die op de meisje meisje cultuur waar het dus om draait。

Devin Shuman ，

Some interesting parts but the author is so judgemental， especially when it comes to being ableist， that made it hard to enjoy

Katie ，

Used this as a source for my thesis in undergrad about how media portrays idealistic love over rational love。

Pamela ，

So excellent。 I wish I’d read this when my girls were younger and that this author were my best friend when raising them。 Her insights and questions and explorations are sharp and thoughtful。

Reference

google book https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=Cinderella Ate My Daughter

hathitrust digital library https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/ls?q1=Cinderella Ate My Daughter&field1=ocr&a=srchls&ft=ft&lmt=ft

The British Library https://bll01.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/discovery/search?query=any,contains,Cinderella Ate My Daughter&tab=LibraryCatalog&search_scope=Not_BL_Suppress&vid=44BL_INST:BLL01&lang=en&offset=0