The School of Life: An Emotional Education

The School of Life: An Emotional Education

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  • Create Date:2021-04-16 13:57:02
  • Update Date:2025-09-07
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  • Author:The School of Life
  • ISBN:0241985838
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Summary

THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER

The essential guide to how to live wisely and well in the twenty-first century - from Alain de Botton, the bestselling author of The Consolations of Philosophy, The Art of Travel and The Course of Love

Discover this comprehensive guide to the modern art of emotional intelligence

We spend years in school learning facts and figures but the one thing we're never taught is how to live a fulfilled life。 That's why we need The School of Life - a real organisation founded ten years ago by writer and philosopher Alain de Botton。 The School of Life has one simple aim: to equip people with the tools to survive and thrive in the modern world。 And the most important of these tools is emotional intelligence。

This book brings together ten years of essential and transformative research on emotional intelligence, with practical topics including:

- how to understand yourself
- how to master the dilemmas of relationships
- how to become more effective at work
- how to endure failure
- how to grow more serene and resilient

The School of Life is nothing short of a crash course in emotional maturity。 With all the trademark wit and elegance of Alain de Botton's other writings, and rooted in practical, achievable advice, it show us a path to the better lives we all want and deserve。

Praise for Alain de Botton:

'What he has managed to do is remarkable: to help us think better so that we may live better lives'Irish Times

'A serious and optimistic set of practical ideas that could improve and alter the way we live' Jeanette Winterson, The Times

'Alain de Botton likes to take big, complex subjects and write about them with thoughtful and deceptive innocence' Observer

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Reviews

Adler

It feels like a super important book, however, some chapters took me quite some time to read。 Other chapters I couldn't stop reading。 Great pieces here and there with important (and life changing questions。。。 if you answer them)。 It feels like a super important book, however, some chapters took me quite some time to read。 Other chapters I couldn't stop reading。 Great pieces here and there with important (and life changing questions。。。 if you answer them)。 。。。more

Caitlin

3。5 ⭐️ maybe? I don’t know I’m quite conflicted about the whole thing。

Inaina

I have so much trouble to read something like this, where there is no studies examples or just enough examples。 Launguage is overcomplicated for no apperent reason and is not fluid wich makes it hard to read。 It has some gripping ideas, but I had trouble to trust the autor for some reasons。 Defenitively not a bad read, just not for me。

Will Newell

Sort yourself out - useful whistle stop tour through the mindGreat insightCovers a broad range of topics and good as a map for starting to enhance your emotional intelligence

Inês Lagoutte

I had been absolutely devouring The School of Life's youtube channel。 Alain de Botton's perspective on life really makes you rethink and analyse your beliefs, many of which are burried in your subconscious and come to surface through the words of de Botton。This is truly a non-religious "Bible", that can be revisited many times, providing comfort and guidance; with the advantage of being organized by topics, from relationships, to culture, to self。 Will most certainly re-read it throughout the ye I had been absolutely devouring The School of Life's youtube channel。 Alain de Botton's perspective on life really makes you rethink and analyse your beliefs, many of which are burried in your subconscious and come to surface through the words of de Botton。This is truly a non-religious "Bible", that can be revisited many times, providing comfort and guidance; with the advantage of being organized by topics, from relationships, to culture, to self。 Will most certainly re-read it throughout the years and reccomend it abundantly。 PLEASE READ THIS BOOK :) 。。。more

Catalina

This books reads like a conversation with a grandparent - “nothing new in the west”, yet the reassuring recollection of old wisdoms provides for cathartic perspective。“We’re all mad here”, twisted and vulnerable and hesitant, and “no one else knows what they're doing either”。 Hurting other people is a symptom of personal pain and torment。 Sex is about being valued and accepted for all that we are。 Solitude is a healthy part of building identity。 Choosing any path in life will sacrifice some of o This books reads like a conversation with a grandparent - “nothing new in the west”, yet the reassuring recollection of old wisdoms provides for cathartic perspective。“We’re all mad here”, twisted and vulnerable and hesitant, and “no one else knows what they're doing either”。 Hurting other people is a symptom of personal pain and torment。 Sex is about being valued and accepted for all that we are。 Solitude is a healthy part of building identity。 Choosing any path in life will sacrifice some of our potential。 Life will inevitably have its ups and downs, misfortunes and disappointments, for us and everybody else。 “Nobody’s perfect”。 “Love is a skill, not a feeling”。 Yet there are two ideas that I singled out as poignant notes to self not well enough crystalized until now:“what doesn't kill you makes you stronger”“A crisis represents an appetite for growth that hasn't found another way of expressing itself。 Many people, after a horrific few months or years of breakdown, will say, ‘I don't know how I'd ever have got well if I hadn't fallen ill。’[。。。] We didn't fall ill, we were ill already。 Our crisis, if we can overcome it, is an attempt to dislodge us from a toxic status quo and an insistent call to rebuild our lives on a more authentic and sincere basis”。“no one ever reads a book。 he reads himself through books”- Romain Rolland“Any idea of the normal currently in circulation is not an accurate map of what is customary for a human to be。 We are – each one of us – far more compulsive, anxious, sexual, tender, mean, generous, playful, thoughtful, dazed and at sea than we are encouraged to accept。 The misunderstanding begins with a basic fact about our minds: that we know through immediate experience what is going on inside us, but can only know about others from what they choose to tell us – which will almost always be a very edited version of the truth。 [。。。] We simply cannot trust that sides of our deep selves will have counterparts in those we meet, and so remain silent and shy, struggling to believe that the imposing, competent strangers we encounter can have any of the vulnerabilities, perversions and idiocies we’re so intimately familiar with inside our own characters。 [。。。] Ideally, the task of culture should be to compensate for the failings of our brains by assisting us to a more correct vision of what other people are normally like - by taking us, in a realistic but entertaining way, into the inner lives of strangers。 This is what novels, films and songs should constantly be doing - defining and evoking states of mind we thought we were alone in experiencing” 。。。more

Sofia

Very interesting。 Fun to read。 Deep enough for most everyday and common matters in life。 Loved it。

Nick Seymour

Not the best bit of Botton I've read, but entertaining nonetheless ;-) Not the best bit of Botton I've read, but entertaining nonetheless ;-) 。。。more

Nicky Moxey

To be cherishedA collection of essays to be cherished, and re-read and savoured again and again。 Balm for the soul; or a measured kick up the bum, depending on one's need at the time。 To be cherishedA collection of essays to be cherished, and re-read and savoured again and again。 Balm for the soul; or a measured kick up the bum, depending on one's need at the time。 。。。more

Ştefania

I love the way the author manages to explain basic (and also not so basic) human emotion and to give some really useful advice by choosing topics like art, philosophy & history。 Not your typical full of cliches personal development book- but a well documented one- even for the most skeptical of us。

Bianca Giroszasz

O carte fooarte bună, pe care o voi recomanda oricui de acum înainte。 E incredibil câte lucruri mai avem de învățat despre noi înșine și despre relațiile cu alți oameni。 Nu am dat 5 stele deoarece finalul mi s-a părut cam abrupt, iar capitolul despre muncă nu mi s-a părut prea convingător。

Jessica Cockburn

Important new perspectives on how to live a satisfied life。。。 but a bit too Brit-centric!

Olivia Higgins

One of my favourite books in 2020。 I am going to read this at least once more。 I have always been a supporter of the works of Botton but particularly this one as it presents a highly logical, clear, persuasive and scientifically backed up argument on understanding arguably one of the most complex topics of all – anything emotional。 He enters every faecet of life, covering all bases from work, career, family relations and personal love。 Loved his take on contemporary romantic love and how it actu One of my favourite books in 2020。 I am going to read this at least once more。 I have always been a supporter of the works of Botton but particularly this one as it presents a highly logical, clear, persuasive and scientifically backed up argument on understanding arguably one of the most complex topics of all – anything emotional。 He enters every faecet of life, covering all bases from work, career, family relations and personal love。 Loved his take on contemporary romantic love and how it actually does us a major disservice in the long-run。 An absolute must-read。 So many paradigm shifts in many topics and I can safely say I finished the book feeling like a better person :) Thank you Botton! 。。。more

Lalizziebethh

Changed my thinking on lots of different topics particularly how I think about my relationships and why people act the way they do。

Jane

This was an interesting book to read。 Some very insightful ideas and thoughts - the parts that resonated with me really changed the way I think about certain topics (loved the perspective on wisdom, therapy etc), but then there were parts of the book that I had to skim over as it waffled on and on。 A good read all in all。

Victor Van der westhuizen

Every generation should not rediscover the laws of physics for themselves。 Just as we should not rediscover known psychological truths all by ourselves。 We sometimes reach points in our life where we feel stuck emotionally, during these times a self help book or psychotherapy can shine light on the causes of these problems or how to deal with them。 Intuition is flawed and we were born with limited tools to handle the chaotic worlds inside our minds。This book serves as a tool to handle these prob Every generation should not rediscover the laws of physics for themselves。 Just as we should not rediscover known psychological truths all by ourselves。 We sometimes reach points in our life where we feel stuck emotionally, during these times a self help book or psychotherapy can shine light on the causes of these problems or how to deal with them。 Intuition is flawed and we were born with limited tools to handle the chaotic worlds inside our minds。This book serves as a tool to handle these problems and acts more like the text version of an old man giving some really insightful life advice while not denying that life has its moments of utter misery, but also stating that life is still something of beauty if one puts the effort in to make it so。 It discusses how ones upbringing affects your adult life and how much of our problems originate from our early days。 It states that we should not be too idealistic and that Romanticism has given us impossible/unrealistic ideas about love and life。 We should therefore see how human we and others are and come to the conclusion that love nor life will every truly be perfect and that we shouldn't feel bad or ashamed about this either。 We should strive to better ourselves and others, while examining the ways that we try to do this。All in all its a good book and isn't too heavy of a read。 It doesn't exactly break new ground, but rather feels like advice that one should know but somehow have forgotten。 Not all parts are equally interesting and sometimes it doesn't delve deep enough into certain issues, while conversely delving too deep and long into other issues。 A pinch of genetic determinism would have been appreciated as well。7/10 (but since you can't give it half stars, I'm judging the book by its cover) 。。。more

Puella Sole

Knjiga koju sam planski ostavila za početak godine。 Nekako mi se uklopila。 U suštini, skup tekstova koji bi trebalo da nas usmjere da se više zainteresujemo za sve one stvari koje su veliki dio naših života, a kojih se klasični obrazovni sistem ne dotiče: razumijevanje sebe, razumijevanje međuljudskih odnosa, posebno veza, odnos prema poslu, prema kulturi。。。 Stalo je zaista dosta toga tu i lijepo je pisano, čitko, lagano, sa dovoljno snage da čitaoca zainteresuje za određene detalje i ideje, ali Knjiga koju sam planski ostavila za početak godine。 Nekako mi se uklopila。 U suštini, skup tekstova koji bi trebalo da nas usmjere da se više zainteresujemo za sve one stvari koje su veliki dio naših života, a kojih se klasični obrazovni sistem ne dotiče: razumijevanje sebe, razumijevanje međuljudskih odnosa, posebno veza, odnos prema poslu, prema kulturi。。。 Stalo je zaista dosta toga tu i lijepo je pisano, čitko, lagano, sa dovoljno snage da čitaoca zainteresuje za određene detalje i ideje, ali dosta toga djeluje kao recikliranje već objavljenih njihovih materijala。 Ja nisam mnogo toga njihovog čitala, tako da mi to nije predstavljalo neki ogroman problem, ali neko ko je u rukama već držao više knjige koje potpisuju članovi The School of Life projekta, ovdje bi mogao naći na dosta toga već viđenog。 U svakom slučaju, vrlo lijepo。 。。。more

Sophie Alice Rose

A completely life changing manual for living truly emotionally。 Read it and then make everyone you know read it。

Luke

https://www。imranmahmud。com/writing/t。。。 https://www。imranmahmud。com/writing/t。。。 。。。more

Spencer Fancutt

The cultural climate I grew up in was deeply suspicious of philosophy。 Nobody read it, because it was not for the likes of us。 It was for those who did not need a job after university, and was written in Greek or German or likewise impenetrable language which at a guess told people their lives were meaningless and death the only escape。de Botton tries to rescue philosophy for the modern reader as something it was originally supposed to be before being cast into the musty vaults of academia and r The cultural climate I grew up in was deeply suspicious of philosophy。 Nobody read it, because it was not for the likes of us。 It was for those who did not need a job after university, and was written in Greek or German or likewise impenetrable language which at a guess told people their lives were meaningless and death the only escape。de Botton tries to rescue philosophy for the modern reader as something it was originally supposed to be before being cast into the musty vaults of academia and read and discussed only by a strange sort of high-brow animal raised in isolation and wealth with either nothing else to do or a brain the size of Oxford。 That original intention being to offer a way for us to more easily deal with our lives, our anxieties, our disappointments, and our societies。In his texts (and School of Life organization), he offers a kind of thought-provoking self-help therapy in bite-sized chunks。 These chunks are easy to swallow without being either tough as leather or blended to a puree。 Coming from a philosophical tradition, they avoid the patronizing or New-Age woo of the airport self-help genre and their Californian-tanned, perfectly toothed authors。Predictably, at the other end some critics look down their noses at him for not being sufficiently philosophically robust or arcane or dull, but I kind of see him as the plucky character who says, "Hey, how about we translate the Bible into the vernacular so that everyone might learn from it by themselves? (grumbles from the establishment)"At times, he doesn't quite pull off his passion as the people's philosopher, and it is amusing to see him 'relate' to us in the vein of 'perhaps your nanny favored your sibling' or 'that feeling you get of loneliness you get when your publisher ignores you at a party, or only half the dignitaries you invited to dinner arrive'。 I exaggerate, but it is not difficult to assume he is not working-class or approaching his thesis with an average IQ。 This is of course forgivable, and the many provocations he extends for us to (re)examine our own lives with fresh eyes are vitally important, and greatly appreciated。As he tells us, we are woefully unprepared and under-instructed in how to deal with our emotional lives in our secular world, and this volume is a big step in the right direction。 。。。more

Manee

Brilliant read for an education of emotional intelligence。

Daniel

Beautiful insights, especially the chapter on recognizing beauty among aged and resurfaced pottery。 Humans also valuing things based solely on price tag was an interesting concept that I haven’t explored that deeply before。 Awesome book and amazing Youtube channel。

Sophie

Incredibly articulate, astoundingly insightful and witty。 I wish I had read this book in my early 20's, it should be required reading in high school to give people the emotional tools to deal with life。 If you haven't learnt emotional intelligence from your parents then you pick up pieces as you go through life and this book is a fast track to getting an overview of what you don't yet know or haven't found the words to explain it。Also make sure you check out the School of Life on YouTube, Alain Incredibly articulate, astoundingly insightful and witty。 I wish I had read this book in my early 20's, it should be required reading in high school to give people the emotional tools to deal with life。 If you haven't learnt emotional intelligence from your parents then you pick up pieces as you go through life and this book is a fast track to getting an overview of what you don't yet know or haven't found the words to explain it。Also make sure you check out the School of Life on YouTube, Alain de Botton has some incredible and hilarious lectures。 。。。more

Dhihya Kito

I think everyone must read this book because it's a collection of essays about emotional education。 I think everyone must read this book because it's a collection of essays about emotional education。 。。。more

Edd Marbello-Santrich

The human being has been become in a winner species as he has achieved understand how nature works。 The laws that rule our world, follow some beauty patterns, speaking in Mathematics。 So far, nothing new in the sppech I have been told you in my spreading knowledge exercise。 But, why if we were able to discover such an incredible behaviour, the social relationships in all of their features, are a disaster? Well, in this work, we found an answer。 Is there certainity with it? I would say yes, but y The human being has been become in a winner species as he has achieved understand how nature works。 The laws that rule our world, follow some beauty patterns, speaking in Mathematics。 So far, nothing new in the sppech I have been told you in my spreading knowledge exercise。 But, why if we were able to discover such an incredible behaviour, the social relationships in all of their features, are a disaster? Well, in this work, we found an answer。 Is there certainity with it? I would say yes, but you can disagree。 The key issue is, emotional intelligence。 In this topic, almost all of us, we are ignorants。 What we do need is to known our feelings and of the others。 An empty soul, could trigger in a harm being。 Besides, having so much cases in communities, cities, countries, the end must appear awful。 Wars, natural disasters such as climate change and what it implies, lack of democracies, or unmanaged pandemics like this one。 Art is the starting point, including its ritual, and all the stuff it could carry。 At first sight, it seems naive, but if we consider art as sober activity, where the soul has such an important role, we might think our lives from another perspective。 Being humans, supporting humanism。 Fever, rage, envy, sex, solidarity, friendship, love。 All of them are usual feelings。 Not only the good ones are welcome, the bad ones define us as well。 。。。more

Monika

I loved it for its down-to-earth spirit。 It's like watching a Scandinavian movie, about real life, real people, and human struggles。 There were some parts I did not find relevance and some that I didn't fully agree with, yet it was enjoyable to read。 If you read it with critical thought in mind, you'll find some good ideas。 I loved it for its down-to-earth spirit。 It's like watching a Scandinavian movie, about real life, real people, and human struggles。 There were some parts I did not find relevance and some that I didn't fully agree with, yet it was enjoyable to read。 If you read it with critical thought in mind, you'll find some good ideas。 。。。more

Bersabel Behonegne

Meh。 If you’re like me and you have watched all the school of life content on YouTube。。。 this book will be highly repetitive。 The breadth of topics covered was too extensive to draw any meaningful lessons。 If you’re not familiar with any of the school of life content then maybe you’ll enjoy this one !

James Kitchener

I regularly watch the short School of Life (TSOL) videos on YouTube and they are almost always relevant advice to any emotional challenge I’ve had。 At first I thought the long flowery sentences would be a chore to read but after getting used to that style, it is essentially the same content as the YouTube videos。 I could imagine author and philosopher Alain de Botton’s wise, witty and supremely comforting voice as I read。 The content of the book was reassuring and validating to me。 It covered to I regularly watch the short School of Life (TSOL) videos on YouTube and they are almost always relevant advice to any emotional challenge I’ve had。 At first I thought the long flowery sentences would be a chore to read but after getting used to that style, it is essentially the same content as the YouTube videos。 I could imagine author and philosopher Alain de Botton’s wise, witty and supremely comforting voice as I read。 The content of the book was reassuring and validating to me。 It covered topics that I often think but feel confused about because my thoughts don’t always align with mainstream society/media。 Legal marriage as an archaic ritual for example, and that not everything is sunshine and roses all the time, and that everyone is struggling through something even though we keep it to ourselves。 I love how TSOL uses examples to link culture, art, architecture and music with human emotions, love, work, and mental health。 Take the Japanese art of kintsugi for example, where shattered pottery is glued back together with gold-flecked lacquer to become more precious than the original item, with all its acquired imperfections。 It teaches of resilience and embracing flaws。 Some choice (abridged) quotes: “At all times we are only ever millimeters away from tragedy and lunacy”“Everyone, however important and learned they might be, is a fool。 We are idiots now, we have been idiots in the past and we will be idiots again in the future - and that is ok。 There aren’t any other available options for human beings。”On politeness: “strategic inauthenticity is the mark of a kindly soul。 Being fully uncensored at all times would be outright lazy and cruel”“Culture gives us the option of assembling a tribe for ourselves drawing from time and space - dead authors, architects, musicians, composers, painters, poets become comforting friends from a distance”“It takes a great deal of bravery and skill to keep even a very ordinary life going。 To persevere through the challenges of love, work and children is quietly heroic”I will refer to this book as my introvert’s bible (along with The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris) 。。。more

Anca Chirilă-Gheorghică

The basics of everyday life that we should all be thought in formal education, starting from primary school already。 For many the content might seem trivial, including myself I often did not find the sense in several school of life videos explaining different truisms。 However with this book, I had both a sense of belonging to the global community of alienated humans and one faith potential for healing through acceptance of our shared normality and lifelong emotional training。

alice greenbury

I love a lot about this book and the ideas it puts forwards but it can be over simplistic and repetitive。 Whilst it is generally advocating (positive) pessimism, it actually can appear a bit too optimistic about people’s motives。 I agree that assuming positive intent is generally a good rule of thumb but it seems inappropriate to believe that inside mean people are small children who need sympathy and care。 Some people actually just need to be removed from our lives and our attentions。 I guess ‘ I love a lot about this book and the ideas it puts forwards but it can be over simplistic and repetitive。 Whilst it is generally advocating (positive) pessimism, it actually can appear a bit too optimistic about people’s motives。 I agree that assuming positive intent is generally a good rule of thumb but it seems inappropriate to believe that inside mean people are small children who need sympathy and care。 Some people actually just need to be removed from our lives and our attentions。 I guess ‘self help’ books like these have to often be simplistic and repetitive to get their message across and can’t always delve into complexities。 However I do like De Botton a lot and believe he would have interesting, multifaceted answers to criticisms people might have with this book。 。。。more