From the age of eight until she was nineteen， Nikki battled anorexia nervosa—but few cases have been quite as extreme as hers。 At just seven years old， Nikki began feeling that she was overweight。 A remark about her being fat from a fellow pupil at a gymnastics class along with insecurity brought about by her parents' separation and he beloved grandfather's death， were the catalysts for Nikki's long-term eating disorder。 Aged just eight and weighing just under three stone， she was diagnosed as anorexic。 For the next eight years， Nikki was in and out of institutions—seven in total—during which time she attempted suicide twice and had to be sedated up to four times a day so that she could be force-fed。 At one point， she was sedated for fourteen days while doctors sewed a tube into her stomach， through which she was fed in order to get her weight out of the critical range。 Nikki admits that she knew every anorexic's trick in the book: from breaking into hospital kitchens to water down full-fat milk， altering her diet sheet and switching name tags on food to ensure that she received smaller amounts， to even stuffing a door-stop down her trousers before a weigh-in。 The extremes that she went to in order to avoid eating and find ways to exercise excessively shocked doctors who have worked in the field for years。 As Nikki says， “I've always wanted to be the best at everything I do， so I had to be the best anorexic—and I was。” This is the heart-rending and powerful story of a girl who lost her childhood but was brave enough to finally admit that she wanted to live again。