How to be a Brit: The Classic Bestselling Guide
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- Author：George Mikes
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Summary
The indispensable manual for everyone who longs to attain True Britishness George Mikes's perceptive best-seller provides a complete guide to the British Way of Life。 Having been born in Hungary， he eventually spent more than forty years in the field， and the fruits of his labour include insights on important topics including the weather， how to be rude and how to panic quietly。 Loved by readers and authors alike， How to Be a Brit contains Mikes's three major works -- How to be an Alien， How to be Inimitable and How to be Decadent。 If you're British， you'll love it; if you're a foreigner， you'll appreciate it。 How to plan a town: "Street names should be painted clearly and distinctly on large boards。 Then hide these boards carefully。" Queuing: "An Englishman， even if he is alone， forms an orderly queue of one。" Sex: "Continental people have sex lives: the English have hot water bottles。"
Reviews
Robert
，
There were one or two sections that brought on a laugh but for the most part I just found it boring。 I think it's aged badly。 There were one or two sections that brought on a laugh but for the most part I just found it boring。 I think it's aged badly。 。。。more
Sue
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This feels a bit outdated， but still manages to be funny at times。 I felt that the themes such as the weather， queuing and sex became repetitive。
Dr。J。G。
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Discovering works of this author was a blessing when it happened at a time when one needed it most， what with difficult years ahead and not much to look back at either， and it was largely due to someone who brought sunshine and shade from glare， both; his brother working with Penguin in London， coupled with his own love of books that was independent of the brothers fortuitous job， amounted to his larger access to books， even though he didn't depend on the brother for more than occasional chat ab Discovering works of this author was a blessing when it happened at a time when one needed it most， what with difficult years ahead and not much to look back at either， and it was largely due to someone who brought sunshine and shade from glare， both; his brother working with Penguin in London， coupled with his own love of books that was independent of the brothers fortuitous job， amounted to his larger access to books， even though he didn't depend on the brother for more than occasional chat about Penguin publications。So I found a wonderful first， How To Be An Alien， and loved it， and was fortunate enough to find more wherever I could through next couple of decades or so - How to be Inimitable， How to Scrape Skies， How to Tango， The Land of the Rising Yen， How to Run a Stately Home （with the Duke of Bedford）， Switzerland for Beginners， How to be Decadent， How to be Poor， How to be a Guru and How to be God by George Mikes。One that remains most in memory， is a chapter about currency in Israel， and its conclusion。。。。。。。。。。。。。Unfortunately most of his works aren't available on Amazon， and it's unclear if that's because Penguin is unwilling to consider the loss for younger readers， or turns up their British nose， at a multinational concern that makes books available to readers at far less cost and trouble， than involved in going to a good bookstore after finding one that one can access， being able to order the books one wants and then having space enough at home to store them。One is fortunate enough to have found and read them long before the era of internet， but one would still like them on one's tab， apart from other excellent British authors - James Hilton， A。 J。 Cronin， Agatha Christie， P。 G。 Wodehouse， 。。。。 and yes， one is glad that classic authors such as Jane Austen， Bronte sisters and Thomas Hardy are available on internet， as are most living ones; but still， so should be these comparatively more recent ones， of early to middle decades of twentieth century。。。。。。。。。。。。。Quoted， from blurb， of English Humour for Beginners: （by George Mikes）:-"George Mikes was born in 1912 in Siklós， Hungary。 Having studied law and received his doctorate from Budapest University， he became a journalist and was sent to London as a correspondent to cover the Munich crisis。 He came for a fortnight but stayed on and made England his home。 During the Second World War he broadcast for the BBC Hungarian Service， where he remained until 1951。 He continued working as a freelance critic， broadcaster and writer until his death in 1987。"English Humour for Beginners was first published in 1980， when Mikes had already established himself as a humorist as English as they come。 His other books include How to be an Alien， How to Unite Nations， How to be Inimitable， How to Scrape Skies， How to Tango， The Land of the Rising Yen， How to Run a Stately Home （with the Duke of Bedford）， Switzerland for Beginners， How to be Decadent， How to be Poor， How to be a Guru and How to be God。 He also wrote a study of the Hungarian Revolution and A Study of Infamy， an analysis of the Hungarian secret political police system。 On his seventieth birthday he published his autobiography， How to be Seventy。"。。。。。。。。。。。。Quoted from Preface of How To Be A Brit:"Back in 1945， when André Deutsch was trying to build up a new publishing firm， he asked me if I had anything for him。 I told him that I was fiddling about with some little essays which were linked by a basic idea: how to be an alien。 Why I was staying on the Isle of Wight I can no longer remember， but I must have been doing so， or why would he have come there to collect the manuscript？"He enjoyed what he read， but told me that there was not enough of it for a book。 So I sat down one afternoon and added five thousand more words。 If anyone had said to me that I ought to take more trouble， since forty years later this book would still be selling about thirty thousand copies a year in paperback， not to mention going into a new hardback edition for which I would have to write a preface – well， I would have told that person， gently but firmly， that he or she ought to have his or her head examined。 Indeed I would probably have said the same thing if told that I would still be here to write anything in forty years time， and that André would still be around – though disguised as a distinguished old boy – to publish it。"How to be an Alien was a cri de coeur， a desperate cry for help: oh God， look at me， I have fallen among strange people！ ‘But it’s such a funny book，’ people say。 Perhaps it is。 I hope it is。 But it’s not unknown for shrieks， moans， whoops and ululations to sound funny to the uninvolved。"In due course I added two further shrieks to that first one: How to be Inimitable in 1960， when we had started to slip but still had an Empire and refused to acknowledge much change; and How to be Decadent in 1977。 All three books were illustrated by my great and much-missed friend， Nicolas Bentley。"During all those years since 1945， something rather curious was happening: as I strove to stop being an alien and to become a true Brit， Britain was striving to cast off its peculiar and lofty insularity and become one with the aliens， a part of the Continent （almost）， just another member of the E。E。C。 It often seems to me that I have failed in my endeavour; but compared with Britain I have succeeded gloriously。"GEORGE MIKES"April 1984"。。。。。。。。。。。。Quoted from my review， writtenduring the time I wrote what I thought of various books read over decades， as remembered after decades:Mikés has no equal when you would like an introduction to a country， a culture， with loads of on the mark observations and humour。 How To Be An Alien is an excellent introduction to the whole series， probably not written as such but developed into one， with memorable books later on Israel， South America and so forth。 About Germany there is a comparable one， written probably much earlier， by Jerome K。 Jerome named Three Men On A Bummel， the sequel to his Three Men On A Boat （To say Nothing About The Dog）。Still， that does not mean to say that there is any less of originality in Mikés version or less humour or less anything。 Mikés is wonderful and incomparable in a way that is accessible to more readers， with a universal readability - while the earlier Jerome K。 Jerome remains very English， which has a different flavour to be enjoyed。October 16， 2008。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。He begins with an almost unnoticeable reply to the title， printed high up in tiny letters on an otherwise blank page after the preface:-"It’s easy"and carries on to the next page with the opening chapter， nonchalantly。。。。。。。。。。。。。Then comes preface to 24th impression。"The reception given to this book when it first appeared in the autumn of 1946， was at once a pleasant surprise and a disappointment for me。 A surprise， because the reception was so kind; a disappointment for the same reason。"Let me explain。"The first part of this statement needs little amplification。 Even people who are not closely connected with the publishing trade will be able to realize that it is very nice – I’m sorry， I’d better be a little more English: a not totally unpleasant thing for a completely unknown author to run into three impressions within a few weeks of publication and thereafter into another twenty-one。"What is my grievance， then？ It is that this book has completely changed the picture I used to cherish of myself。 This was to be a book of defiance。 Before its publication I felt myself a man who was going to tell the English where to get off。 I had spoken my mind regardless of consequences; I thought I was brave and outspoken and expected either to go unnoticed or to face a storm。 But no storm came。 I expected the English to be up in arms against me but they patted me on the back; I expected the British nation to rise in wrath but all they said， was: ‘quite amusing’。 It was indeed a bitter disappointment。"While the Roumanian Radio was serializing （without my permission） How to be an Alien as an anti-British tract， the Central Office of Information rang me up here in London and asked me to allow the book to be translated into Polish for the benefit of those many Polish refugees who were then settling in this country。 ‘We want our friends to see us in this light，’ the man said on the telephone。 This was hard to bear for my militant and defiant spirit。 ‘But it’s not such a favourable light，’ I protested feebly。 ‘It’s a very human light and that is the most favourable，’ retorted the official。 I was crushed。"A few weeks later my drooping spirit was revived when I heard of a suburban bank manager whose wife had brought this book home to him remarking that she had found it fairly amusing。 The gentleman in question sat down in front of his open fire， put his feet up and read the book right through with a continually darkening face。 When he had finished， he stood up and said:"‘Downright impertinence。’ And threw the book into the fire。"He was a noble and patriotic spirit and he did me a great deal of good。 I wished there had been more like him in England。 But I could never find another。"Since then I have actually written about a dozen books; but I might as well have never written anything else。 I remained the author of How to be an Alien even after I had published a collection of serious essays。 Even Mr Somerset Maugham complained about this type of treatment bitterly and repeatedly。 Whatever he did， he was told that he would never write another Of Human Bondage; Arnold Bennett in spite of fifty other works remained the author of The Old Wives’ Tale and nothing else; and Mr Robert Graves is just the author of the Claudius books。 These authors are much more eminent than I am; but their problem is the same。 At the moment I am engaged in writing a 750-page picaresque novel set in ancient Sumeria。 It is taking shape nicely and I am going to get the Nobel Prize for it。 But it will be of no use: I shall still remain the author of How to be an Alien。""‘When are you going to write another How to be an Alien？’ Deutsch and Bentley ask me from time to time and I am sure they mean it kindly。"They cannot quite make out the reply I mutter in answer to their friendly query。 It is:"‘Never， if I can help it。’"London， May 1958"GEORGE MIKES"。。。。。。。。。。。。Then comes the knockout preface， setting the tone for the book。"I believe， without undue modesty， that I have certain qualifications to write on ‘how to be an alien’。 I am an alien myself。 What is more， I have been an alien all my life。 Only during the first twenty-six years of my life I was not aware of this plain fact。 I was living in my own country， a country full of aliens， and I noticed nothing particular or irregular about myself; then I came to England， and you can imagine my painful surprise。"Like all great and important discoveries it was a matter of a few seconds。 You probably all know from your schooldays how Isaac Newton discovered the law of gravitation。 An apple fell on his head。 This incident set him thinking for a minute or two， then he exclaimed joyfully: ‘Of course！ The gravitation constant is the acceleration per second that a mass of one gram causes at a distance of one centimetre。’ You were also taught that James Watt one day went into the kitchen where cabbage was cooking and saw the lid of the saucepan rise and fall。 ‘Now let me think，’ he murmured – ‘let me think。’ Then he struck his forehead and the steam engine was discovered。 It was the same with me， although circumstances were rather different。"It was like this。 Some years ago I spent a lot of time with a young lady who was very proud and conscious of being English。 Once she asked me – to my great surprise – whether I would marry her。 ‘No，’ I replied， ‘I will not。 My mother would never agree to my marrying a foreigner。’ She looked at me a little surprised and irritated， and retorted: ‘I， a foreigner？ What a silly thing to say。 I am English。 You are the foreigner。 And your mother， too。’ I did not give in。 ‘In Budapest， too？’ I asked her。 ‘Everywhere，’ she declared with determination。 ‘Truth does not depend on geography。 What is true in England is also true in Hungary and in North Borneo and Venezuela and everywhere。’"I saw that this theory was as irrefutable as it was simple。 I was startled and upset。 Mainly because of my mother whom I loved and respected。 Now， I suddenly learned what she really was。"It was a shame and bad taste to be an alien， and it is no use pretending otherwise。 There is no way out of it。 A criminal may improve and become a decent member of society。 A foreigner cannot improve。 Once a foreigner， always a foreigner。 There is no way out for him。 He may become British; he can never become English。"So it is better to reconcile yourself to the sorrowful reality。 There are some noble English people who might forgive you。 There are some magnanimous souls who realize that it is not your fault， only your misfortune。 They will treat you with condescension， understanding and sympathy。 They will invite you to their homes。 Just as they keep lap-dogs and other pets， they are quite prepared to keep a few foreigners。"The title of this book， How to be an Alien， consequently expresses more than it should。 How to be an alien？ One should not be an alien at all。 There are certain rules， however， which have to be followed if you want to make yourself as acceptable and civilized as you possibly can。"Study these rules， and imitate the English。 There can be only one result: if you don’t succeed in imitating them you become ridiculous; if you do， you become even more ridiculous。"。。。。。。。。。。。。The illustrations are superb， beginning with the illustration of the last sentence above， regarding imitating and being ridiculous。My personal favourite has been the most memorable one of the English country gentleman chatting to his dog as they walk together， with the dog containing his wrath and suffering in silence。 This illustration accompanies a two sentence chapter， about the proper English way， regarding treatment of intimate human companion versus that of one's dog。。。。。。。。。。。。。Mikes goes on by beginning the book with elaborating on differences between English and continental people， customs， spirits， and so on。 The high point is when an entire chapter consists of:-"Continental people have sex life; the English have hot-water bottles。"。。。。。。。。。。。。One could go on， but the reader ought to have pleasure of reading the book。 Oh， wait - no， one can't describe or quote his reference to the famous declaration by Queen Victoria about her not being amused; it has to be read in the original！。。。。。。。。。。。。 。。。more
Alex
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A bit old but still one of the best book about British from an external view！ A must if you want to know the culture
Eva Hnizdo
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It's an old book。 I got it and How to be an Alien from an English friend when we first moved toi Britain。 I love both books。 Some things never change。 It's an old book。 I got it and How to be an Alien from an English friend when we first moved toi Britain。 I love both books。 Some things never change。 。。。more
Cecily
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This in a omniminibus comprising:How to be an Alien， 1946How to be Inimitable， 1960How to be Decadent， 1977Gentle humour from a Hungarian immigrant that inspired many others。 See my detailed review of How to be an Alien， HERE。 This in a omniminibus comprising:How to be an Alien， 1946How to be Inimitable， 1960How to be Decadent， 1977Gentle humour from a Hungarian immigrant that inspired many others。 See my detailed review of How to be an Alien， HERE。 。。。more
Petra-X has been locked down for one full year
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"You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people becasue cats find humans useful domestic animals。" Upped from 2 star to 3 star for that。 I've finished the book， but with effort。 The author is one of those people who laugh at their own jokes。 He's so pleased with himself， that this edition has three different prefaces all about the author and how successful his books are， which to say all that is not very British at all。 I managed one and a half。 I didn't attempt the third one。 The ending "You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people becasue cats find humans useful domestic animals。" Upped from 2 star to 3 star for that。 I've finished the book， but with effort。 The author is one of those people who laugh at their own jokes。 He's so pleased with himself， that this edition has three different prefaces all about the author and how successful his books are， which to say all that is not very British at all。 I managed one and a half。 I didn't attempt the third one。 The ending is a letter from his publisher telling him what a great person he is， so fun。 I can't say I found it either funny or enjoyable right up until nearly the end。 Perhaps the book is too dated although the English character remains much the same。 Or perhaps it is because I have recently read several books on the same subject that were quite a lot funnier （and more recent）。Understanding the British: A hilarious guide from Apologising to Wimbledon wasn't that hilarious， and was spoiled by the author， Adam Fletcher's ire towards those who had voted for Brexit。 That's going to date the book so fast。。。 The other book， Watching the English: The Hidden Rules of English Behaviourby an anthropologist and sly humourist， Kate Fox， was really good。 The author captured far more than either Mikes or Fletcher and wrote without the political undertones of either of those authors。The last part of George Mikes book， which wasn't even intended to be humorous， was about how Britain， or at least London （Mikes seems to have equated London with the whole of Britain through the book， although those who live in the environs of Penzance， Stornoway， Belfast or even Ystrad Mynach are quite different。 Fletcher broadens his "British" to include those who live in other parts of England， but still falls into the trap of presenting specifically English attitudes as common to the entirety of the UK。 （view spoiler）[Some behaviours such as queueing， self-deprecation， （view spoiler）[It doesn't come easily to the British to jump up and down and applaud themselves on reality shows as it does Americans。 The British have to be coached， urged and apparently rehearsed， as bigging oneself up is just anathema to the British and considered really， really bad manners and cringeworthy。 （hide spoiler）] always cracking satirical jokes， and talking about the weather are ubiquitous， but there is a great deal that isn't。 London is perhaps the most cosmopolitan city on earth， it isn't England。 Ireland， Scotland and Wales are different countries that are not analagous to different US states， but with vastly different cultures。 The weather though is the same， middling to awful with a few weeks of sunshine a year that everyone complains about if it goes on to long as being too hot。 （hide spoiler）]Kate Fox avoids this， but she is a anthropologist so she is more rigorous - and accurate - in what she writes is the behaviour of the English。 Because she has been trained to catch nuances， her book is by far the funniest of the three。But back to the last part of George Mikes book where he is railing against Britain， really London， being taken over by foreigners - the Arabs buying up everything and gambling a lot， the EEC （as it was then） exporting European attitudes to the UK， the Indians （and Pakistanis） coming and taking over the corner shops which he thinks， as just about everyone did， was absolutely wonderful since they stayed open "at the hours one wants to shop and needs to run out for something"。 He hit the nail on the head really， London has been very much changed by so many foreigners bringing their culture with them。 It's wonderful really。 He just didn't quite see it that way。 Sometimes he uses 'we' as he is British now， but sometimes he is 'other'， a Hungarian， It depends on what he wants to say。 He ends the book by saying he respected the British more but liked them less when he first came。 Now he tends to lack respect but likes them a great deal more。 I'm just glad to have escaped from the weather and having to talk about it。 。。。more
Arianna
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Good companion read to 1066 and All That。 Very interesting satire。
bluewizard
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Hilarious！ I never laughed as hard as here！CHECKMATE FELLOW BRITISH GUYS N’ GURLS
Lillian
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Some 5/5 chapters and then some mediocre chapters。 First 1/3 was the best part
ShanDizzy
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Just within the first 24 pages， this is a very humorous book！ It was written in 1945 and it's about a 'foreigner' from Budapest who moves to England。 It was like this。 Some years ago I spent a lot of time with a young lady who is very proud and conscious of being English。 Once she asked me to my great surprise whether I would marry her。 "No，" I replied。 "I will not。 My mother would never agree to my marrying a foreigner。" She looked at me a little surprised and irritated， and retorted "I， a fore Just within the first 24 pages， this is a very humorous book！ It was written in 1945 and it's about a 'foreigner' from Budapest who moves to England。 It was like this。 Some years ago I spent a lot of time with a young lady who is very proud and conscious of being English。 Once she asked me to my great surprise whether I would marry her。 "No，" I replied。 "I will not。 My mother would never agree to my marrying a foreigner。" She looked at me a little surprised and irritated， and retorted "I， a foreigner？ What a silly thing to say。 I am English。 You are the Foreigner。 And your mother too。" I did not give in。 "In Budapest too？" I asked her。 "Everywhere，" she declared with determination。 "Truth does not depend on geography。 What is true in England is also true in Hungary and North Borneo and Venezuela and everywhere。"When people say England， they sometimes mean Great Britain， sometimes the United Kingdom， sometimes the British Isles - but never England。People on the continent either tell you the truth or lie; in England they hardly ever lie， but they would not dream of telling you the truth。 。。。more
Anna
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Britishness！ A book full of that humour which is typical of British people！！ Some parts are a bit gruelling but all pages are full of hilarious anecdotes！！！
Kumar
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I have never laughed out loud as much with P G Wodehouse and Tom Sharpe as I have with George Mikes's "How to be a Brit"。 It is so unputdownable that I devoured it all almost at one sitting。 The author's use of humor， irony， exaggeration， and ridicule to expose and criticise the British's manners， habits， idiosyncrasies， belief and vices makes him a humorist par excellence！The book was entertaining and risible right from the beginning！The chapters "The Language"， "Civil Servant"， "Journalism"， " I have never laughed out loud as much with P G Wodehouse and Tom Sharpe as I have with George Mikes's "How to be a Brit"。 It is so unputdownable that I devoured it all almost at one sitting。 The author's use of humor， irony， exaggeration， and ridicule to expose and criticise the British's manners， habits， idiosyncrasies， belief and vices makes him a humorist par excellence！The book was entertaining and risible right from the beginning！The chapters "The Language"， "Civil Servant"， "Journalism"， "On Not Knowing English"， "Language"， "How to Become a Colony" stood out for the text's savage satire on the country， her foreigners， and pride。 。。。more
Barb
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A fun， light read。 What I found particularly interesting about this is that it's three books combined into one， and they provide Mikes's take on England from just post-World War II until the late 70s。 The country obviously changed during that time， and Hungarian immigrant Mikes provides a caustic take on it all。 It can be a bit repetitive and at times Mikes seems a bit too pleased with himself， but definitely enjoyable for an Anglophile。 A fun， light read。 What I found particularly interesting about this is that it's three books combined into one， and they provide Mikes's take on England from just post-World War II until the late 70s。 The country obviously changed during that time， and Hungarian immigrant Mikes provides a caustic take on it all。 It can be a bit repetitive and at times Mikes seems a bit too pleased with himself， but definitely enjoyable for an Anglophile。 。。。more
Helawae Friew
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To say I enjoyed this book is an understatement。 Such unbridled wit and style。 I think this is one of the books most foreigners would easily relate to。 The love the author has for England shines through the pages and that is a beautiful thing to see。 Definitely worth a read。
nick mercer
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Loved it a cultural classic
Erin
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I understood the humour / irony he was going for but I just didn't find it very enjoyable。 There were pockets that earned my appreciation or inner smirk （eg the bit on Belsize Park， Belsize Mews， Belsize Park Mews， Belsize Road， etc， that having been the first neighborhood in which I went flat-finding）， but on the whole， I found I was muddling through*。 Generally， I enjoyed How to be an Alien more than the subsequent portions。 Less of an overtly negative grumpiness。 （Again， I understand that's w I understood the humour / irony he was going for but I just didn't find it very enjoyable。 There were pockets that earned my appreciation or inner smirk （eg the bit on Belsize Park， Belsize Mews， Belsize Park Mews， Belsize Road， etc， that having been the first neighborhood in which I went flat-finding）， but on the whole， I found I was muddling through*。 Generally， I enjoyed How to be an Alien more than the subsequent portions。 Less of an overtly negative grumpiness。 （Again， I understand that's what he was going for， I just didn't enjoy it。）Given I did find some connections， I hate to give it only 2 stars， so I'll round up。*Wink to one of the final chapters。 。。。more
Trang Pham
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Thoroughly enjoy Part 1 - How to be an Alien
Hamid
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This book is a social satire and was a joy to read。 The way Mikes describes the Brits is really humorous。 I had no idea that British people are fond of queuing and do it every chance they get。 They talk about the weather all the time。 That is their favorite topic。 And so much more。 Here's some excerpts from the book: I think England is the only country in the world where you have to leave your lights on even if you park in a brilliantly lit-up street。 The advantage being that your battery gets e This book is a social satire and was a joy to read。 The way Mikes describes the Brits is really humorous。 I had no idea that British people are fond of queuing and do it every chance they get。 They talk about the weather all the time。 That is their favorite topic。 And so much more。 Here's some excerpts from the book: I think England is the only country in the world where you have to leave your lights on even if you park in a brilliantly lit-up street。 The advantage being that your battery gets exhausted， you cannot start up again and consequently the number of road accidents are greatly reduced。 Safety first！The English have no soul; they have the understatement instead。If a continental youth wants to declare his love to a girl， he kneels down， tells her that she is the sweetest， the most charming and ravishing person in the world， that she has something in her， something peculiar and individual which only a few hundred thousand other women have and that he would be unable to live one more minute without her。 Often， to give a little more emphasis to the statement， he shoots himself on the spot。 This is a normal， week-day declaration of love in the more temperamental continental countries。 In England the boy pats his adored one on the back and says softly: ‘I don’t object to you， you know。’ If he is quite mad with passion， he may add: ‘I rather fancy you， in fact。’When I arrived in England I thought I knew English。 After I’d been here an hour I realized that I did not understand one word。 In the first week I picked up a tolerable working knowledge of the language and the next seven years convinced me gradually but thoroughly that I would never know it really well， let alone perfectly。The easiest way to give the impression of having a good accent or no foreign accent at all is to hold an unlit pipe in your mouth， to mutter between your teeth and finish all your sentences with the question: ‘isn’t it？’My greatest difficulty in turning myself into a true Britisher was the Art of Shopping。 In my silly and primitive Continental way， I believed that the aim of shopping was to buy things; to buy things， moreover， you needed or fancied。 Today I know that （a） shopping is a social — as opposed to a commercial — activity and （b） its aim is to help the shopkeeper to get rid of all that junk。When I was young， I heard this joke in Budapest。 A man goes to the rabbi and complains: ‘Rabbi， I am in despair。 At my wits’ end。 Life is unbearable。 We just cannot stand it any longer。 There are nine of us — my wife and myself， her parents and five children — and we all live in one room。 What can I do？’The rabbi tells him kindly: ‘Take the goat in。’The man is incredulous: ‘In the room？’‘Yes， in the room。 Do as you are told。 Take the goat in and come back in a week’s time。’A week later the man comes back， half dead: ‘Rabbi， we just cannot stand it。 All of us are going crazy。 The goat is filthy。 Loud。 Dirty。 It stinks。 It makes a mess。’The rabbi told him: ‘Go home and let the goat out。 And come back in a week’s time。’A radiantly happy man visits the rabbi a week later。 ‘Life is beautiful， rabbi。 Lovely。 We all enjoy every minute of life。 No goat: only the nine of us。’The same has happened to the British economy。Politically you must belong to the extreme left。 You must， however， bear a few things in mind: 1。 You must not care a damn about the welfare of the people in this country or abroad， because that would be ‘practical politics’ — and you should only be interested in the ideological side of matters。2。 Do not belong to any party， because that would be ‘regimentation。’ Whatever different parties achieve， it is much more interesting to criticize everyone than to belong to the herd。3。 Do not hesitate to scorn Soviet Russia as reactionary and imperialistic， the British Labour Party as a conglomeration of elderly Trade Union Blimps， the French Socialists as ‘confused people，’ the other Western Socialist parties as meek， bourgeois clubs， the American labour movements as being in the pay of big business; and call all republicans， communists， anarchists and nihilists ‘backward， reactionary crypto-fascists。’ 。。。more
bookinglibrarian
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This serendipitously-purchased volume combines 3 of the following short， humorous books by George Mikes， a Hungarian born British citizen: How to be an alien （1946）How to be inimitable （1964）How to be decadent （1977）All three consist of entertaining and insightful observations on British character and society。 Here are a few:“An Englishman， even if he is alone， forms an orderly queue of one。” “Q。 Why don't the British panic？A。 They do， but very quietly。 It is impossible for the naked eye to tell This serendipitously-purchased volume combines 3 of the following short， humorous books by George Mikes， a Hungarian born British citizen: How to be an alien （1946）How to be inimitable （1964）How to be decadent （1977）All three consist of entertaining and insightful observations on British character and society。 Here are a few:“An Englishman， even if he is alone， forms an orderly queue of one。” “Q。 Why don't the British panic？A。 They do， but very quietly。 It is impossible for the naked eye to tell their panic from their ecstasy。” “While all this goes on， the English remain staunch believers in equality。 Equality is a notion the English have given to humanity。 Equality means that you are just as good as the next man [sic] but the next man is not half as good as you are。” 。。。more
Alien
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I loved his sense of humour。 I had just read his statement that "made in Britain" used to be a sign of excellent quality， but no longer。 Then my Penguine paperback edition started to disintegrate。 The guy obviously knew， what he was talking about。 I loved his sense of humour。 I had just read his statement that "made in Britain" used to be a sign of excellent quality， but no longer。 Then my Penguine paperback edition started to disintegrate。 The guy obviously knew， what he was talking about。 。。。more
Jorge Rosas
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This recompilation feels odd because of the time gap between the content but still it was quite hilarious， having visited England with someone who lived there a little while greatly improved my appreciation of the humor and the little things that you can’t help to notice when you’re there。
Carol
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This is fun， witty， and if I must confess， utterly hilarious。 The best part is the original 'How to be an alien'， as the other works were written many years later and don't quite read the same。 Having lived in London myself for a bit over a year， there were parts I found extremely hilarious。 I definitely wouldn't consider myself an expat or anything， was just a student back then， but you start noticing certain things， and you start observing people， and taking in the city。 All the bits about how This is fun， witty， and if I must confess， utterly hilarious。 The best part is the original 'How to be an alien'， as the other works were written many years later and don't quite read the same。 Having lived in London myself for a bit over a year， there were parts I found extremely hilarious。 I definitely wouldn't consider myself an expat or anything， was just a student back then， but you start noticing certain things， and you start observing people， and taking in the city。 All the bits about how London is configured， the names of the streets， the confusing way streets are set up， the buses， the traffic， it all rang real to me because I had seen it， and that's what made it fun。 I kept laughing and nodding all the time。Other things were completely alien to me， as I haven't actually had much contact with English people。 But I would believe them to be true as well， up to a point。 The only thing that feels weird is the year gap， since it was a while since it was written， somethings actually sound quite outdated， but they are the least。 As someone who has had the pleasure of getting to know London， this was brilliant。 。。。more
Beáta
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It is a book by George Mikes， alias Mikes György， a Hungarian author who lived in England。 I really liked it。 I love his humour。 Some situations were familiar to me though I have never been to England。 And some observations are still true， there are things that never change。。。Lassabban haladtam ezzel a könyvvel， mert angolul olvastam， de nagyon élveztem。 Kicsit tartottam tőle， hogy fogom-e érteni a humorát， de szerencsére értettem és jókat vidultam olvasás közben。 Egyes jelenetek nagyon ismerősn It is a book by George Mikes， alias Mikes György， a Hungarian author who lived in England。 I really liked it。 I love his humour。 Some situations were familiar to me though I have never been to England。 And some observations are still true， there are things that never change。。。Lassabban haladtam ezzel a könyvvel， mert angolul olvastam， de nagyon élveztem。 Kicsit tartottam tőle， hogy fogom-e érteni a humorát， de szerencsére értettem és jókat vidultam olvasás közben。 Egyes jelenetek nagyon ismerősnek tűntek， néhány észrevételt pedig még mindig nagyon aktuálisnak tartok。 Igazán szórakoztató olvasmány， így örülök， hogy végül is nekiveselkedtem。 。。。more
Nguyen Hoang Phong
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The epitome of dry Brit humour。 You may or may not slap your thighs， but you will chuckle。
Yam B。
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Some are outdated， did not apply on today’s world。 However， some stuffs were hilarious to read。
Bartley Sharkey
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Started out as a quirky， fun read but quickly deteriorated into a padding exercise to presumably reach a word count that justified publication。 The fact that the middle and end of the book continuously refer back to the start of the book， often referring to the fact they were written thirty years apart， gets really quite tiresome and the anecdotes and observations become much too forced。 Conclusion， unfortunately， is that here's a case of quantity over quality。 Started out as a quirky， fun read but quickly deteriorated into a padding exercise to presumably reach a word count that justified publication。 The fact that the middle and end of the book continuously refer back to the start of the book， often referring to the fact they were written thirty years apart， gets really quite tiresome and the anecdotes and observations become much too forced。 Conclusion， unfortunately， is that here's a case of quantity over quality。 。。。more
David Ramiro
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Truly hilarious。 I could have never imagined feeling so identified by a book written by a Hungarian more than 50 years ago。 It is amazing how some aspects of the British society are still present: the way Brits see themselves， the way they see the exterior （assuming it exists）， the way they stick to their rules over centuries， the social class segregation。。。 Definitely a book for improving the adaptation in the Empire and a book to confirm all the conclusions already extracted about this wonderf Truly hilarious。 I could have never imagined feeling so identified by a book written by a Hungarian more than 50 years ago。 It is amazing how some aspects of the British society are still present: the way Brits see themselves， the way they see the exterior （assuming it exists）， the way they stick to their rules over centuries， the social class segregation。。。 Definitely a book for improving the adaptation in the Empire and a book to confirm all the conclusions already extracted about this wonderful country。 。。。more
Tosh
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