Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life
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- Create Date：2021-04-09 11:57:13
- Update Date：2025-09-06
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- Author：Stuart Diamond
- ISBN：0141049944
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Summary
LEARN HOW TO GET MORE IN EVERY SITUATION FROM THE WORLD'S LEADING NEGOTIATOR
We're always negotiating。 Whether making a business deal， talking to friends or booking a holiday， negotiation is going on。 And most of us are terrible at it。
Wharton Business School Professor Stuart Diamond runs the most popular course at Wharton business school， he advises Google and the UN on how to make deals， and his negotiating methods have settled thousands of disputes including the Hollywood writers' strike。
In this New York Times bestselling book， Diamond reveals the secrets behind getting more in any negotiation - whatever 'more' means to you。 Getting More is accessible， jargon-free， innovative。。。and it works。
'Excellent' - Irish Independent
'From advising on how to negotiate with terrorists， to industrial disputes， to children， his twelve rules of negotiation promise to open new doors every day' - Radio 1
We're always negotiating。 Whether making a business deal， talking to friends or booking a holiday， negotiation is going on。 And most of us are terrible at it。
Wharton Business School Professor Stuart Diamond runs the most popular course at Wharton business school， he advises Google and the UN on how to make deals， and his negotiating methods have settled thousands of disputes including the Hollywood writers' strike。
In this New York Times bestselling book， Diamond reveals the secrets behind getting more in any negotiation - whatever 'more' means to you。 Getting More is accessible， jargon-free， innovative。。。and it works。
'Excellent' - Irish Independent
'From advising on how to negotiate with terrorists， to industrial disputes， to children， his twelve rules of negotiation promise to open new doors every day' - Radio 1
Reviews
Sara
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I couldn't even get past chapter 3。 Nothing concrete in the book。 I couldn't even get past chapter 3。 Nothing concrete in the book。 。。。more
Robert Middlekauff
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Very good with lots of examples that has given me new perspectives on human interaction and how to achieve goals
Nick George
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I stopped reading this book after about ~150 pages。 Here are my issues:1。 The first ~60 pages read like a long winded advertisement with self-aggrandizing "success" stories from the author's MBA students （Did he mention that he teaches elite MBA students？ Don't worry， you'll be reminded）。 A few sporadic paragraphs of useful material， but not worth wading through。2。 I am unfamiliar with 'business' books， but it is alarming to see the lack of citations for studies and facts discussed。 Here is one I stopped reading this book after about ~150 pages。 Here are my issues:1。 The first ~60 pages read like a long winded advertisement with self-aggrandizing "success" stories from the author's MBA students （Did he mention that he teaches elite MBA students？ Don't worry， you'll be reminded）。 A few sporadic paragraphs of useful material， but not worth wading through。2。 I am unfamiliar with 'business' books， but it is alarming to see the lack of citations for studies and facts discussed。 Here is one example （many more in the first 100 pages） from the chapter "Hard Barginers and Standards": "Studies have shown that one person will be much more persuasive than another with the exact same facts because of framing。" Cool， what study said that？ I don't see a footnote。 He goes on to discuss another study in detail， again with no citation。 How is this acceptable？ The lack of scholarly effort even when he （rarely） tries to back up his ideas with more than "user testimonials" strikes me as lazy at best。 3。 It is very clear that the author is extremely out of touch with reality outside of the ivy MBA world he inhabits。 For example， one of the tenants of the book that I agreed with was that you shouldn't use power to bully or intimidate people into agreeing with you because it won't work and makes people resent you。 Here is a （paraphrased） example from the chapter "Hard Barginers and Standards":A MBA student （did he mention he teaches *elite* MBA students？） is at a restaurant and his drink comes very late， （after his food arrives， if you can believe it！）。 The student has taken the negotiating class， so he knows just what to do。 He asks the waitress "Do you think drinks should arrive before food？" and then goes on to berate and belittle her with similar condescending questions until， after some protest， she takes the drink off the bill。 Success！ Then one of the MBA student's friends tells him that at this restaurant， she probably had to pay for that drink with her own money。 The MBA student then does the honorable thing and pays for the drink。 But he is aghast at how successful and powerful the method is！ He convinced a waitress to pay for his drink with her own money！！！ Great power， great responsibility！-end-Give me a break。 He just described a situation where an ivy league MBA student （read: has 40K+ per year to blow on a master's degree） bullied a waitress into buying him a drink。 I've worked in the service industry。 In this situation， the waitress had to choose between possibly losing her low paying， difficult job because a whiny entitled MBA student was probably going to complain to her boss， and buying said whiny entitled MBA student a drink。 That's not negotiating， that is the grossest form of elitist bullying I've ever seen described。 The fact that the author （and his student） couldn't see that， should tell you everything that you need to know about them。I am shocked by the positive reviews of this book。 I bought it after it was highly recommended over similar books。 I hope this does not reflect a standard in "business" writing， because I am fast losing the respect I had for this field。 。。。more
Michael Dawe
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Useful strategies， but I wonder if it could have been organized better around the strategies themselves rather than the situations in which you apply them。 As it stands the book felt much longer than it needed to be。
Simas Gradeckas
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Fundamental in human communication。
Mike Rose
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Book gets repetitive in concepts。 additionally， most of the content comes from re-enforcing the concepts through example usage， but doesn't offer much in how to build the skills and talents。 Book gets repetitive in concepts。 additionally， most of the content comes from re-enforcing the concepts through example usage， but doesn't offer much in how to build the skills and talents。 。。。more
Eden Ratcliffe
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Lots of good strategies， that do make sense。。。 Not sure why I needed to know the came and current business position of all the people he used as examples in the book。
Sasha
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TL;DR Strategies on how to help other people help you and expand the negotiation pie Easily one of the best books I've read about negotiation。 Diamond focuses on the human aspect of negotiation - making yourself seem more like a person， not just another transaction to the person you are making the request to。 He emphasizes the importance of small talk to do this。 Another main strategy Diamond suggests to use is "standards"。 If a company or person has mentioned to you a standard of theirs - a com TL;DR Strategies on how to help other people help you and expand the negotiation pie Easily one of the best books I've read about negotiation。 Diamond focuses on the human aspect of negotiation - making yourself seem more like a person， not just another transaction to the person you are making the request to。 He emphasizes the importance of small talk to do this。 Another main strategy Diamond suggests to use is "standards"。 If a company or person has mentioned to you a standard of theirs - a company logo， or an aspiring personality trait - hold them to it。 If they haven't， dig further until you find this standard。 Many many stories about negotiation。 The theory is pretty straightforward but what makes this book convincing is the troves of negotiation examples Diamond gives。 。。。more
Hy
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The best way to read this book is via CD。 The paperback edition print format is too dense for easy reading or appreciating the book as much as it deserves。 I understand the complaints of overwriting， yet would remind that repetition with variations is the key to learning。 So I cut the author some slack。All that said， this book is about connecting with people。 It is one of the more astute ever written from that angle。 However， when Diamond gets into international politics， he is in over his head。 The best way to read this book is via CD。 The paperback edition print format is too dense for easy reading or appreciating the book as much as it deserves。 I understand the complaints of overwriting， yet would remind that repetition with variations is the key to learning。 So I cut the author some slack。All that said， this book is about connecting with people。 It is one of the more astute ever written from that angle。 However， when Diamond gets into international politics， he is in over his head。 He assumes what has to be proven: the problem is always negotiating skills。 He fails to recognize the reality of inter-imperialist rivalries that lead to periodic world wars; the plethora of colonial and neo-colonial “interventions;” and the politics and struggles of competing， fundamentally counterposed class interests， as well as social systems （labor vs。capital writ large）。 。。。more
Jane Sorensen
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Perhaps this book’s greatest fault is having almost too many examples to draw from， each with an impressive job title that the practicant went on to attain。 You should read this book to better collaborate with people。 It will also help you defend yourself against inept and/or abusive other parties， who will hopefully not also be using these techniques to be harder-nosed。 It will help you identify and call it out if it should happen。 Most of the time， however， you will have better relationships a Perhaps this book’s greatest fault is having almost too many examples to draw from， each with an impressive job title that the practicant went on to attain。 You should read this book to better collaborate with people。 It will also help you defend yourself against inept and/or abusive other parties， who will hopefully not also be using these techniques to be harder-nosed。 It will help you identify and call it out if it should happen。 Most of the time， however， you will have better relationships and better deals when you follow these techniques。 。。。more
Jonas Mikkelsen
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Most people I know who reads books， have books that they continue to read again and again。 Getting More is the book， that I have read the most times。 Given the power to identify what has value for the other party， thus enabling me to trade items of unequal value， has without a doubt improved my negotiating skills in most areas of my life。• Tired of arguing with your SO？ Read this book。• Want to get better deals when out shopping？ Read this book。• Struggling to get through deals？ Read this book。
Steve
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Solid advice。 Good to have on hand
Nate Lorenzen
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This is a great book on negotiation if you have never read anything on negotiation。 @malcolmgladwell changed the paradigm of business books insofar that one needs a story。 Books that were written prior all have a data dump feel similar to a text book。 This is the issue with Getting More as the impact of the myriad examples leveraged stop being illuminative and became repetitive。 。。I did enjoy Diamond’s adherence to transparency and his dislike of 90s negotiation tactics like BATNA。 People are no This is a great book on negotiation if you have never read anything on negotiation。 @malcolmgladwell changed the paradigm of business books insofar that one needs a story。 Books that were written prior all have a data dump feel similar to a text book。 This is the issue with Getting More as the impact of the myriad examples leveraged stop being illuminative and became repetitive。 。。I did enjoy Diamond’s adherence to transparency and his dislike of 90s negotiation tactics like BATNA。 People are not logical automatons but have emotions which are valid and need addressing。 He anchors a lot of this on establishing and using the other parties standards。 TBH， it’s effective but done poorly I think it could make them feel trapped。。。The first 8 chapters are worth the read and his summary chapter 16。 Chapters 9-15 are applications with Travel， kids， etc。 and are quite repetitive。。。If you are looking for a book on negotiation， read #NeverSplitTheDifference。 It’s simply the best。。。Below is a list of some notes that stood out while reading。- Establish Goals- Transparency and diversity， specifically diversity of ideas， are great benefits - “I have one thing that’s not negotiable I demand that we meet your interest。 If we don’t meet your interest you won’t meet mine and I’m a real selfish guy。“- Be incremental in a negotiation， divide into multiple steps- Focus on WATNA - worst alternative to a negotiated agreement- Understanding that it doesn’t work 100% of the time but need to push for criticism to improve- BIG on reframing examples。。。”it’s great we are different as that means we can make money！”- Push for new frames of positivity。 Frame an objection as a blessing。52w 。。。more
Nigel Street
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There is some good advice here and the way it is structured really helps bring a workable framework in how to approach a negotiation。 There is， as with many books of this nature， a tendency to say the same thing over and over again， padding springs to mind。 This can be largely forgiven until we reach the end where the author seems to be proposing that peace in the Middle East is solvable if we were just to adopt this framework。 While I’m sure there are learnings to be had I did feel we had begun There is some good advice here and the way it is structured really helps bring a workable framework in how to approach a negotiation。 There is， as with many books of this nature， a tendency to say the same thing over and over again， padding springs to mind。 This can be largely forgiven until we reach the end where the author seems to be proposing that peace in the Middle East is solvable if we were just to adopt this framework。 While I’m sure there are learnings to be had I did feel we had begun to step into the the realms of becoming messianic and this， for me at least， somewhat tainted the message。 。。。more
Ali Putera
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what do you expect in a negotiation？ This book will give you more tips and you can learn how to win the negotiation in many situation， how to know any situation and what your client wants and needs。For Sales， this book more just a negotiation book。 Read it and be a winner in a negotiation。
Ziyi Wang
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The book is very easy to read with a lot of great tips of negotiation that you can find usage in your daily life。
Erica DeMond
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First foray into negotiation -- was a good introduction。 Not too "procedural。" Concepts were illustrated primarily through stories。 First foray into negotiation -- was a good introduction。 Not too "procedural。" Concepts were illustrated primarily through stories。 。。。more
Lindsay King
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Incredible book; I learned so much from Stuart Diamond and while it seems like basic common psychology， it's very insightful。 Looking forward to reading a second time and taking notes in another round！ Incredible book; I learned so much from Stuart Diamond and while it seems like basic common psychology， it's very insightful。 Looking forward to reading a second time and taking notes in another round！ 。。。more
Javier
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I like this book as it provided some pretty useful tips。 However， some parts made me question the author's ethics。 Also， this book was verbose。 Could have been a 100-page book。 I like this book as it provided some pretty useful tips。 However， some parts made me question the author's ethics。 Also， this book was verbose。 Could have been a 100-page book。 。。。more
Melanie
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There is some really good stuff in here but I also found this book exhausting。 The first part of the book - which I enjoyed - focuses on tools of negotiation。 The second part focuses on different types of negotiation or what negotiation looks like in different settings: parenting， travel， around town， etc。 The author's perspective is if you don't try to negotiate everything you're leaving money and perks on the table。 For me that sounds so exhausting， and I kept having to remind myself that if t There is some really good stuff in here but I also found this book exhausting。 The first part of the book - which I enjoyed - focuses on tools of negotiation。 The second part focuses on different types of negotiation or what negotiation looks like in different settings: parenting， travel， around town， etc。 The author's perspective is if you don't try to negotiate everything you're leaving money and perks on the table。 For me that sounds so exhausting， and I kept having to remind myself that if that's true （and I don't think it is）， I'm okay paying more if that means not having to expend the emotional energy to negotiate。 There are situations in which I will always try to negotiate （salary） and those where I'm happy to just pay the price as stated。I also think many of the author's negotiation examples sound patronizing and too easy。 。。。more
ReadingMama
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Stuart Diamond has a long resume with many accomplishments。 He was a formal New York Times investigative journalist where he won the Pulitzer Prize as a part of a team investigating the crash of the space shuttle Challenger in 1986。 He was also a very popular negotiation professor from the Wharton Business School， University of Pennsylvania。 This book has tons of anecdotes but mainly the keys of negotiation lie on the following focal points: 1） Empathy: Make a connection with people and try to s Stuart Diamond has a long resume with many accomplishments。 He was a formal New York Times investigative journalist where he won the Pulitzer Prize as a part of a team investigating the crash of the space shuttle Challenger in 1986。 He was also a very popular negotiation professor from the Wharton Business School， University of Pennsylvania。 This book has tons of anecdotes but mainly the keys of negotiation lie on the following focal points: 1） Empathy: Make a connection with people and try to see from another's perspective 2） Understanding and Respect: in the end， it is all about relationships and it is all about them 3） Peace: try to resolve one small issue at a time。 He thinks world peace can be solved by the rich country， providing the poorer country the basic needs， such as food， shelter， and medical support。 Then no more terrorist invasion， could it be that easy？ Simple concept but deeper implications。 After all， so much conflict initiates from finding basic human needs。 Collaborative negotiation model is much more effective than the conflict model。 All so true… 。。。more
Donny
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Great bookMany great examples to explain all the tips。 List a clear procedure about getting more。 The most important thing is to use those tips by ourselves。 Let’s get started。
Mohammad
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Interesting book but it was heavy on anecdote and examples rather than some foundational or scientific explanation。 I wish there was more time spent breaking down each example instead of having one paragraph for most explained like:1。 Here is the problem2。 Here is the one liner the person said3。 Here is what they gotTone， mood， everything that led up to that point are all important things to know which the author himself agrees and mentions but doesn’t take the time to break down。 Overall good b Interesting book but it was heavy on anecdote and examples rather than some foundational or scientific explanation。 I wish there was more time spent breaking down each example instead of having one paragraph for most explained like:1。 Here is the problem2。 Here is the one liner the person said3。 Here is what they gotTone， mood， everything that led up to that point are all important things to know which the author himself agrees and mentions but doesn’t take the time to break down。 Overall good book that dragged on with mainly repetitive examples that were unnecessary about 50% of the time。 。。。more
Sabrina Wright
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I had to read this book as part of my graduate school negotiations course， but this book is far from being a boring textbook read。 "Getting More" was packed with practical advice， great anecdotes， and knowledge that I was able to put to use right away。 I know for certain that I'm going to come back to this book for tips for many years to come。 Great read and eye-opening to say the least！ I had to read this book as part of my graduate school negotiations course， but this book is far from being a boring textbook read。 "Getting More" was packed with practical advice， great anecdotes， and knowledge that I was able to put to use right away。 I know for certain that I'm going to come back to this book for tips for many years to come。 Great read and eye-opening to say the least！ 。。。more
Mauro Piergiacomi
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Una lista di esempi， sarebbe stato utile una struttura o riassunti organizzati
Holly
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Author provided practical and applicable negotiation skills such as: Setting goals， Being incremental， Trade things unequally， Find & use their standards， Get Prepared。The author also provides a lot of examples in work， business， daily life， relationships， shopping， etc。 We can apply these techniques and tools not only in business but also in our daily life。Chapters 1-8 are techniques and tools we can learn。 From chapter 9 to 16， it's about the application of these techniques in work， relationsh Author provided practical and applicable negotiation skills such as: Setting goals， Being incremental， Trade things unequally， Find & use their standards， Get Prepared。The author also provides a lot of examples in work， business， daily life， relationships， shopping， etc。 We can apply these techniques and tools not only in business but also in our daily life。Chapters 1-8 are techniques and tools we can learn。 From chapter 9 to 16， it's about the application of these techniques in work， relationship， marketplace， family etc。 。。。more
劉 韋伶
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Use the story to strengthen the argument， carefully categorize the content， and also a reference tool。
Linh
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Extremely verbose， although not useless。Very hard to look at the grand scheme as the author seems not to have a logical sense in allocating chapters。
Sergiy
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