Nonfiction

Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief

Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief

  • Downloads：7681
  • Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
  • Create Date：2021-04-04 12:00:04
  • Update Date：2025-09-06
  • Status：finish
  • Author：Joanne Cacciatore
  • ISBN：1614292965
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Summary

If you love， you will grieve—and nothing is more mysteriously central to becoming fully human。 

Foreword INDIES Award-Winner — Gold Medal for Self-Help

When a loved one dies， the pain of loss can feel unbearable—especially in the case of a traumatizing death that leaves us shouting， “NO！” with every fiber of our body。 The process of grieving can feel wild and nonlinear—and often lasts for much longer than other people， the nonbereaved， tell us it should。

Organized into fifty-two short chapters， Bearing the Unbearable is a companion for life’s most difficult times， revealing how grief can open our hearts to connection， compassion， and the very essence of our shared humanity。 Dr。 Joanne Cacciatore—bereavement educator， researcher， Zen priest， and leading counselor in the field—accompanies us along the heartbreaking path of love， loss， and grief。 Through moving stories of her encounters with grief over decades of supporting individuals， families， and communities—as well as her own experience with loss—Cacciatore opens a space to process， integrate， and deeply honor our grief。

Not just for the bereaved， Bearing the Unbearable will be required reading for grief counselors， therapists and social workers， clergy of all varieties， educators， academics， and medical professionals。 Organized into fifty-two accessible and stand-alone chapters， this book is also perfect for being read aloud in support groups。

Now available as an online course from the Wisdom Academy。

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Reviews

Laura ，

This book is AMAZING。 I lost one of my closest friends of 20 years in a car accident 4 weeks ago and am absolutely devastated - but this book is incredibly enlightening snd powerful。 If you are going through that same kind of heartbreaking grief， get this book。 It is amazing。

Sara ，

Small chapters that delve deeply into grief and it's many facets。 Small chapters that delve deeply into grief and it's many facets。 。。。more

Elizabeth Tye ，

I lost my brother in September 2020 in a tragic accident。 He was only 28 years old。 I was already going to regular therapy and felt that I really didn't want to go to a grief counselor。 I saw this book on Amazon and the reviews were incredible。 I can see why。 Joanne has compiled a group of stories that were so touching。 I felt like I was in a group therapy session by reading this book。 It was very relatable for me because the author went into her specialized field because of a loss of someone cl I lost my brother in September 2020 in a tragic accident。 He was only 28 years old。 I was already going to regular therapy and felt that I really didn't want to go to a grief counselor。 I saw this book on Amazon and the reviews were incredible。 I can see why。 Joanne has compiled a group of stories that were so touching。 I felt like I was in a group therapy session by reading this book。 It was very relatable for me because the author went into her specialized field because of a loss of someone close to her。 I'm grateful for this book and would recommend it to anyone in the grieving process or to anyone wanting to help a friend or loved one through the grieving process。 。。。more

Dude ，

A beautiful and brave book for anyone seeking to find a way through grief。 The author talks about her own grief as well as that of bereaved clients she has worked with over the years。 Their stories provide heartbreaking examples of how to deal with unimaginable loss and illustrate how we are changed by the experience of grief。 Even those who are not currently experiencing bereavement may benefit from the spiritual wisdom conveyed in this book of working through （rather than avoiding） our experie A beautiful and brave book for anyone seeking to find a way through grief。 The author talks about her own grief as well as that of bereaved clients she has worked with over the years。 Their stories provide heartbreaking examples of how to deal with unimaginable loss and illustrate how we are changed by the experience of grief。 Even those who are not currently experiencing bereavement may benefit from the spiritual wisdom conveyed in this book of working through （rather than avoiding） our experiences of suffering。 。。。more

Natsuki ，

In a society that pushes “positivity” and “happiness，” this book is necessary for those who are grieving。 If your bereaved soul is aching， reach for this book。

Michael Akers ，

Inspirational and Eye Opening BookMy beautiful， beloved wife passed away two and a half months ago。 We have been married for 25 years。 She was 62 and I am 65。 We were still deeply in love with each other when she passed from a massive heart attack。 I have read several books recently trying to understand and help my broken heart， and to understand the excruciating grief I am experiencing。 Dr Cacciatore has opened my eyes not only describing the intense components and emotions of grief， but also w Inspirational and Eye Opening BookMy beautiful， beloved wife passed away two and a half months ago。 We have been married for 25 years。 She was 62 and I am 65。 We were still deeply in love with each other when she passed from a massive heart attack。 I have read several books recently trying to understand and help my broken heart， and to understand the excruciating grief I am experiencing。 Dr Cacciatore has opened my eyes not only describing the intense components and emotions of grief， but also ways to embrace it， surrender to it and work each day to try and function through it。 Her insights have helped me accept the fact that grief is going to be part of the rest of my life。 Unlike the other authors I have read， Dr Cacciatore does not suggest ways to; “fix it，” “just get over it，” “move on， “ “accept that she’s in a better place。” Because of her examples， I now know it’s okay to cry， it’s okay to mention her name， and talk about her to my friends， and that it’s okay to tell the truth when folks ask me how I’m doing。 I admire her courage and honesty in describing what she has experienced in regards to losing her precious daughter。 Her book is inspirational and motivating。 An exceptional book for all of us who are trying to function while going through the excruciating pain of grief。 I am going to re-read every word！ 。。。more

Samuel ，

This book is incredibly poignant and I highly recommend it to anyone has experienced loss。 She gives practical skills for managing and bearing the grief and also sets to reconstruct the act of grieving as an act of loving。 Her personal anecdotes are a little too "woke kids" and highly Dickensian but it doesn't negatively effect the impact of the book。 This book is incredibly poignant and I highly recommend it to anyone has experienced loss。 She gives practical skills for managing and bearing the grief and also sets to reconstruct the act of grieving as an act of loving。 Her personal anecdotes are a little too "woke kids" and highly Dickensian but it doesn't negatively effect the impact of the book。 。。。more

Walkandread ，

Ms。 Cacciatore believes that it is natural to grieve and for as long as necessary。 Each chapter describes a different approach to grieving - you can select what works for you。

Jordon Ewart ，

Suffering through the loss of my friend of 10 years， this book really helped open me up to the aspect of accepting grief and being with it rather than seeking the fix it or cure。 I'm glad I read it and have it in my library for years to come ❤ Suffering through the loss of my friend of 10 years， this book really helped open me up to the aspect of accepting grief and being with it rather than seeking the fix it or cure。 I'm glad I read it and have it in my library for years to come ❤ 。。。more

Shannon Baird ，

While I am not currently experiencing grief due to loss of a loved one， I am dealing with grief caused by other trauma and I found this book extremely helpful。 It's so easy to read， touching， and humane。 I appreciated the short chapters and intersection of stories of other's and from the author's own experience。 It was like talking to a friend who finally gets it。 If you are looking for comfort and understanding while coping with any type of grief， I highly recommend this read！ While I am not currently experiencing grief due to loss of a loved one， I am dealing with grief caused by other trauma and I found this book extremely helpful。 It's so easy to read， touching， and humane。 I appreciated the short chapters and intersection of stories of other's and from the author's own experience。 It was like talking to a friend who finally gets it。 If you are looking for comfort and understanding while coping with any type of grief， I highly recommend this read！ 。。。more

Gadi ，

I read this on the heels of losing my grandmother。 I found it almost unbearably tedious。 There were some morsels of insight， some moments of catharsis， but I found a lot of it repetitive: We should lean into our grief， truly experience it， rather than stifle it。

Kira Clark ，

This was a merciful antidote for all the harmful messages I’ve internalized about grief and the shame I was feeling about my own sense of isolation throughout my grief。 Every time I read it I felt a sense of warmth and connection。 Wishing you all compassion for yourselves as we carry our grief with us throughout the rest of our lives。

Patricia ，

Reviewing later。

Marina ，

This is just what my heart and soul needed。 If you've ever lost someone in your life， please read this book。 It will not cure your pain， but it will teach you how to be with it and to accept each and every one of your feelings just as they are: raw， unpredictable and true。 For the grievers: we will never be the same again， and that is ok。 It is better to have known and lost than to never have known and loved at all。 Thank you Dr。 Joanne。 ❤ This is just what my heart and soul needed。 If you've ever lost someone in your life， please read this book。 It will not cure your pain， but it will teach you how to be with it and to accept each and every one of your feelings just as they are: raw， unpredictable and true。 For the grievers: we will never be the same again， and that is ok。 It is better to have known and lost than to never have known and loved at all。 Thank you Dr。 Joanne。 ❤ 。。。more

Nicole ，

Joanne Cacciatore's Bearing the Unbearable is a strong support for anyone in the throes of grief。 For me， this has been the most helpful book， yet， with her gentle， unassuming approach and welcome suggestions。 She shares her own difficult path of grief as well as those of some of her clients and friends。 She became great friends with Elisabeth Kubler Ross who wrote the classic book， On Death and Dying， which defined typical stages of death and dying that many encounter。 How she became friends wi Joanne Cacciatore's Bearing the Unbearable is a strong support for anyone in the throes of grief。 For me， this has been the most helpful book， yet， with her gentle， unassuming approach and welcome suggestions。 She shares her own difficult path of grief as well as those of some of her clients and friends。 She became great friends with Elisabeth Kubler Ross who wrote the classic book， On Death and Dying， which defined typical stages of death and dying that many encounter。 How she became friends with Kubler Ross is quite coincidental and they ended up living in the same neck of the woods。 She shares several similar， remarkable chance encounters， throughout the book， which give hope for continual meaning in life。 Another important point is to trust your own instincts when choosing a psychologist。 Joanne shares her own struggles dealing with psychologists who did not understand her grief and whose advice was harmful。 Grief bearing became her life's work and she's dedicated herself to servicing grieving patients as well as continually educating others on this important topic。 This book will not offer you a spiritual bypass; it won't make it so you don't have to face the pain of grief - nor should it。 When we love deeply， we mourn deeply; extraordinary grief is an expression of extraordinary love。 Grief and love mirror each other; one is not possible without the other。 2Recovery is a fascinating word - one I generally eschew because of its reductionist connotations。 At a certain point in grief， expectations of recovery begin to knock at our doors。 Employers， neighbors， family， friends， and concerned others begin to send messages - both subtle and overt- urging us to resume life as usual。 But life is anything but usual after the one we love has died。 115 。。。more

Jody Detwieler ，

Compelling book about the ways humans experience traumatic grief and how to best cope with unfathomable loss。

Kelly ，

The author， a grief counselor， presents grief as a natural response to loss and proposes different ways to weave the loss into daily life so that grief is present， but not destructive。 I found it helpful。 I did need to mentally pass over some of the author's phrasing; however， the content is solid。 It was refreshing to find no reference to antidepressants。 The author， a grief counselor， presents grief as a natural response to loss and proposes different ways to weave the loss into daily life so that grief is present， but not destructive。 I found it helpful。 I did need to mentally pass over some of the author's phrasing; however， the content is solid。 It was refreshing to find no reference to antidepressants。 。。。more

Krystine Dinh ，

A compassionate and honest look at grief。 One that encourages you to view grieving in a different light。 Am grateful I stumbled across this book。

Angela Nicole ，

This book is life changing。 Beautifully written， it articulated things I have felt and thought but never could have put into words。 Can’t recommend it strongly enough。

Anne ，

Avery compassionate perspective。

Bethany ，

This book was our guide for a grief group I was part of。 The author has years of both personal and professional experience in grief and grief counseling。 The chapters are short but the stories are meaningful and didactic。It’s encouraging to hear things said that no one in the real world is really saying: essentially “This is hard。 Don’t rush through it。 Your grief will be with you in some form for the rest of your life。”Going in， I had some reservations that this book would be helpful in my jour This book was our guide for a grief group I was part of。 The author has years of both personal and professional experience in grief and grief counseling。 The chapters are short but the stories are meaningful and didactic。It’s encouraging to hear things said that no one in the real world is really saying: essentially “This is hard。 Don’t rush through it。 Your grief will be with you in some form for the rest of your life。”Going in， I had some reservations that this book would be helpful in my journey because of worldview （the author is a Zen priestess， I am evangelical Christian）。 In the end 95% of her words rang true for me; in the end it was really her summary prescription to “lean into the grief” that rang hollow to me， as I believe identifying with Jesus， the “man of sorrows acquainted with grief” will give me more comfort and healing than leaning into my grief ever could。 Otherwise， there’s a lot of wisdom in this book。 。。。more

Kit ，

I learned a lot about grief and the process and how to be with it， one day。 But sometimes I felt like I just didn’t relate to the stories being told。 I don’t know if it’s my age， the loss I suffered， my grief itself or what。 It’s a good book and has been helpful in explaining to myself and others that my grief doesn’t have a plan or a timeline， an agenda， or a way to go away （nor will I try and hide it）。

Bri ，

3。5ish stars， rounded up。 RTC。

Brittany Eckhardt ，

I had to set this book down for awhile as the subject matter was pretty triggering， but it was one of the best books on grief I have read。 An honest and real look at the journey of losing someone you love from a myriad of different experiences。

Kristin ，

One of the best books on grief that I have read。 I am going to buy this book， re-read it and take notes。

Erin Nigh ，

Even when you can’t relate to the many stories of grief shared in these pages， they do something to help open your heart to types of grief we might misunderstand。 The perfect book for when you can’t devote a lot of attention to anything， but you need to remember the counter-cultural message that grief is not linear and that to remember even when it hurts is an act of love。

William B ，

“Bearing the Unbearable” by Dr。 Joanne Cacciatore is an essential book for anyone who is suffering from grief。 I was given this book as a gift from a dear friend of mine who knew this was a guide that will help me during the grieving process。 After losing my mother， I was finding ways to cope because her loss was unexpected。 I felt that I was pushed out of a helicopter without a parachute and I was flailing in midair with no directions as to where to land or what to do。 After reading Dr。 Joanne’ “Bearing the Unbearable” by Dr。 Joanne Cacciatore is an essential book for anyone who is suffering from grief。 I was given this book as a gift from a dear friend of mine who knew this was a guide that will help me during the grieving process。 After losing my mother， I was finding ways to cope because her loss was unexpected。 I felt that I was pushed out of a helicopter without a parachute and I was flailing in midair with no directions as to where to land or what to do。 After reading Dr。 Joanne’s book， I learned that grieving is normal。 It’s a human process。 Today’s society wants to look for cure-alls to avoid grief and that is the worst thing you can do to someone grieving a loss。 When we lose someone we love， grief is its twin。 You can’t have love without grief。 The way Dr。 Joanne wrote the chapters and included quotes that made sense to the griever and how she incorporated real-life cases to explain the different ways grief exhibits itself was helpful， emotional and necessary。 I also liked how she offered different ways to keep the memory of your loved ones intact and always keep them in remembrance。 One final thing I learned from the book is how there is no timetable for grief。 Grief has no expiration date。 Grief will remain with you until you pass away。 It’s a part of life。 We need to learn to become friends with grief。 Only then will we be better able to cope with our loved ones passing。 。。。more

Joan ，

This book has helped me understand and accept traumatic grief after my sister's death。 I've read several other books aimed at helping people overcome particular losses， in my case suicide loss， but none of them have been as comprehensive and well-written as this one。 Joanne Cacciatore is a deeply compassionate person， and that comes through in every sentence。 She's straightforward when talking about death but describes grief so accurately and eloquently that you can't help but feel held and unde This book has helped me understand and accept traumatic grief after my sister's death。 I've read several other books aimed at helping people overcome particular losses， in my case suicide loss， but none of them have been as comprehensive and well-written as this one。 Joanne Cacciatore is a deeply compassionate person， and that comes through in every sentence。 She's straightforward when talking about death but describes grief so accurately and eloquently that you can't help but feel held and understood while reading this book。My grief comes in waves every day and now I know not to fight it， but to embrace and accept it as a reflection of the love I still have for my little sister。 I honor her through my grief and through acts of kindness and compassion。 When you're going through unbearable pain your first thought might be that no one in the world can understand your suffering。 If you're feeling lost and disconnected， Bearing the Unbearable can help guide you back to a sense of communion and belonging with life and the world around you。 If you love or have ever loved someone， you too have known or will know suffering， and this book is for you。 。。。more

Lin ，

An excellent book that I will read again and again。 I found it to be comforting and helpful in understanding my grief。

Brian White ，

I’ve read several books on grief since my son passed away last year and this one is by far the best。 Her thinking and approach on addressing grief is so refreshing and real。 I wish I had read it earlier。 I hope no one “needs” to read this book but if you’ve had something traumatic happen to you I highly recommend it

Reference

google book https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief

hathitrust digital library https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/ls?q1=Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief&field1=ocr&a=srchls&ft=ft&lmt=ft

The British Library https://bll01.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/discovery/search?query=any,contains,Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief&tab=LibraryCatalog&search_scope=Not_BL_Suppress&vid=44BL_INST:BLL01&lang=en&offset=0