Surrounded by Psychopaths: or, How to Stop Being Exploited by Others
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- Create Date：2021-04-02 09:54:22
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Thomas Erikson
- ISBN：1785043323
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Summary
From the Sunday Times bestselling author of Surrounded by Idiots。
Some people are exceptionally manipulative。 They can convince anyone about anything and lure them with their charm。 They enjoy controlling others and will do anything to get what they want。
Sound familiar？
The bad news is that you can’t really escape them。 But here comes the good news: you can beat them at their own game。
After going through the highs and lows of different personality types （Red， Blue， Green and Yellow） in his international bestseller Surrounded by Idiots， Swedish behavioural expert Thomas Erikson will now show you how your weaknesses and personality traits can be exploited by other people and how you can stop them in their tracks。
By learning more about your personality type and how you work， you’ll be able to see through any psychopath's manipulative behaviours and fend off their attempts to wreak havoc into your life。
Witty， engaging and informative， this book will give you everything you need to handle life’s most skilled manipulators and identify the psychopaths in your life… before it’s too late！
Some people are exceptionally manipulative。 They can convince anyone about anything and lure them with their charm。 They enjoy controlling others and will do anything to get what they want。
Sound familiar？
The bad news is that you can’t really escape them。 But here comes the good news: you can beat them at their own game。
After going through the highs and lows of different personality types （Red， Blue， Green and Yellow） in his international bestseller Surrounded by Idiots， Swedish behavioural expert Thomas Erikson will now show you how your weaknesses and personality traits can be exploited by other people and how you can stop them in their tracks。
By learning more about your personality type and how you work， you’ll be able to see through any psychopath's manipulative behaviours and fend off their attempts to wreak havoc into your life。
Witty， engaging and informative， this book will give you everything you need to handle life’s most skilled manipulators and identify the psychopaths in your life… before it’s too late！
Reviews
Nug
，
One of the best books I've ever read in my entire life。 I can't stress enough now truly important this topic is and I'm grateful for how smooth， organized and easy it is to follow through with the author's message。 Truly well-researched and simple， yet very profound。 So many people need to read this， TOTAL recommend！ One of the best books I've ever read in my entire life。 I can't stress enough now truly important this topic is and I'm grateful for how smooth， organized and easy it is to follow through with the author's message。 Truly well-researched and simple， yet very profound。 So many people need to read this， TOTAL recommend！ 。。。more
Alesia
，
this was such an incredible help while I am healing from my marriage to a narcissist and the abuse n all the crap that I went thru。 There was so much that did not make sense but the more I learn about narcissists the more I understand and heal so I am able to live my life in peace and raise my son in a world of peace instead of constant hate and chaos and destruction！ That was no way to live and no that I have peace in my home， I can't not get enough of this peace we have obtained！ Still a very this was such an incredible help while I am healing from my marriage to a narcissist and the abuse n all the crap that I went thru。 There was so much that did not make sense but the more I learn about narcissists the more I understand and heal so I am able to live my life in peace and raise my son in a world of peace instead of constant hate and chaos and destruction！ That was no way to live and no that I have peace in my home， I can't not get enough of this peace we have obtained！ Still a very long road to go but here is to healing and Peace！ 。。。more
Laweeza Fatima
，
a good book idk i needed perspective on how to deal with a situation so it gave me that。 last few chps were helpful。 overall gave a good sense of people ig。 not naive anymore。
Kari
，
Her var det ikke mye å lære。。。
Louise Lidgard
，
Alltid intressant med Thomas böcker。 Dock var denna lite svår att ta till sig och hänga med i。 Läsvärd？ Ja！Om du vill på något sätt försöka förstå folk som kan manipulera dig （objektivt） ur en annan persons ögon så bör du lösa denna。
Boon Wei
，
Intriguing！ You can never read people’s mind at least you know how to avoid/sense ones with absurd behaviors。。
Jarmo Larsen
，
En interessant bok om psykopati og manipulasjon。 Den tar utgangspunkt i DISAs fire personlighetstyper: rød， gul， grønn og blå。 Først redegjør forfatteren rundt dem før han tar fram hvordan en psykopat vil angripe hver enkelt。 I tillegg får vi litt generelt rundt psykopati。 Mye interessant og litt annerledes vinkling enn andre bøker om samme tema。 Thomas Erikson skriver på en god måte， selvom det innimellom blir i noe uklare og diffuse tankebaner。 Alt i alt en bra bok med mye interessant å ta med En interessant bok om psykopati og manipulasjon。 Den tar utgangspunkt i DISAs fire personlighetstyper: rød， gul， grønn og blå。 Først redegjør forfatteren rundt dem før han tar fram hvordan en psykopat vil angripe hver enkelt。 I tillegg får vi litt generelt rundt psykopati。 Mye interessant og litt annerledes vinkling enn andre bøker om samme tema。 Thomas Erikson skriver på en god måte， selvom det innimellom blir i noe uklare og diffuse tankebaner。 Alt i alt en bra bok med mye interessant å ta med seg， men det viktigste， hvordan man kan beskytte seg mot disse grusomme manipulatorene！ 。。。more
Marry Agness
，
odporúčam， odporúčam， odporúčam，。。。kniha， ktorú som začala čítať aby som sa dozvedela viac o iných ľuďoch， no nakoniec som zistila o sebe viac ako som chcela。
Abhinaya Anandamurugan
，
I've never read a book more scarier than this。 True horror of the book is that it enlists stories of real life manipulators， who are otherwise on the surface look indistinguishable from genuinely well meaning people。 Then why to pick up this book， you may ask - well， precisely this - 'How to stop being exploited by others。' The graveness of this book， is that I couldn't continuously read it。 I took a break about two months before getting back to this book。 Others who are quite well rounded in de I've never read a book more scarier than this。 True horror of the book is that it enlists stories of real life manipulators， who are otherwise on the surface look indistinguishable from genuinely well meaning people。 Then why to pick up this book， you may ask - well， precisely this - 'How to stop being exploited by others。' The graveness of this book， is that I couldn't continuously read it。 I took a break about two months before getting back to this book。 Others who are quite well rounded in dealing with the negative side of human behavior might find the book easy to deal with。The books is heavily based on the DISC system of classification， which helps the author to dedicate chapters on how psychopaths manipulate people belonging to each of the DISC category。 Had one tested themselves on the DISC system， one can easily understand their weakness to emotional and mental manipulations。 The author makes a clear distinction that the psychopath can be of any color in the DISC category。 First few chapters deal with how psychopath belonging to each colour category will manipulate others。 The second part of the book deals with how the psychopath manipulates normal person belonging to each of the DISC colour category。 The last chapters offers a sense of relief as to how to identify and deal with when manipulation is involved。In my opinion， this is definitely a good book and eye-opening to understanding 'psychopathy' for a lay person not experienced in psychology or medicine。 It is both intriguing and scary to learn that Psychopathy isn't necessarily total mental malfunction where normal people can clearly differentiate individuals but it is a inherent malfunction in humans who have learnt other unhealthy coping mechanisms which will be destructive when one is involved with。 Also another brilliant insight this book offers is that psychopaths are by definition do not intend good。 They lack emotions， empathy and the neural circuity that wires for normal human connectedness， hence will have no regret involving themselves in anti-social means if it meets their ends。 Not only will this book give awareness about psychopathic manipulations， this is also gives us a glimpse into people who share one of more of such psychopathic traits and those who use these unhealthy behaviors to manipulate others for selfish gains。There was in a sense an incompleteness， there weren't any scale for normal readers to understand what is sometimes a harmless manipulation used by people who did not intend to inflict manipulative ways vs the malicious psychopathic manipulation。 However， one is only left with choices in the last chapters to deal with manipulation of any sorts in the hope the other is well functional well intended person。 。。。more
Jasmine Huang
，
It’s quite dry in the middle but pretty good at the end。3。5 stars
Evgeniya Paplinskaya
，
4% от населения - психопаты。
Ramez Hinallah
，
the book had so many good comments and reviews， but for me i felt that the Author took it too deep for the explaining the psychopaths to an extend it created its main story abit unrealistic。
Lisa Pocklington
，
I wanted to love this book。 I didn’t。 There were some interesting and relatable concepts to it， but a little like how you can relate horoscopes to your existence。 I found the author just loves talking about himself and how he’s so attuned to every single person trying some tactic on him blah blah。 I’ll be honest， I gave up halfway through。 I hate self help books and this one has 100% reaffirmed that for me。
Alice Rowan
，
It’s difficult to consider how to review this book。 As a survivor of this type of abuse and manipulation， both in work and at home， a lot of what is said in the final third of the book resonates with me and my experiences。 However， the first half or so focuses on an aggressive critique of psychopathy in a way that oversimplifies a very complicated personality disorder。 There are people out there with anti social personality disorder who don’t manipulate people or take joy in others’ sorrow。 Had It’s difficult to consider how to review this book。 As a survivor of this type of abuse and manipulation， both in work and at home， a lot of what is said in the final third of the book resonates with me and my experiences。 However， the first half or so focuses on an aggressive critique of psychopathy in a way that oversimplifies a very complicated personality disorder。 There are people out there with anti social personality disorder who don’t manipulate people or take joy in others’ sorrow。 Had the book been better researched on the personality disorder front， and perhaps a bit more balanced， I would have rated it higher。 Having said that， I wish I would have read this book a year ago。 Or three years ago。 The funny thing was， I read Surrounded By Idiots when I was with a manipulator， and couldn’t place them in any of the colours。 They had low levels of all of them， but just as a surface level。 I guess now I know why。 。。。more
Kim Ortiz
，
The first half was so fascinating that I breezed through it！ The second half was just okay; it got pretty repetitive with all the specific examples of how manipulation tactics affect each color type。 I can imagine that it'd be really helpful to those who find themselves in such situations， though。 I'm pretty sure I found the second half dull only because the examples weren't very relevant to me at this time in my life。 It was overall an interesting read， though！ The first half was so fascinating that I breezed through it！ The second half was just okay; it got pretty repetitive with all the specific examples of how manipulation tactics affect each color type。 I can imagine that it'd be really helpful to those who find themselves in such situations， though。 I'm pretty sure I found the second half dull only because the examples weren't very relevant to me at this time in my life。 It was overall an interesting read， though！ 。。。more
Joanna Zakrocki
，
I liked the content but think it could have been presented in a more intesering way。 There was repetition as well but overall I found it interesting。
Book Prisoner
，
Jakie są moje odczucia？ Nie wiedziałam， czego się po niej spodziewać， ale może to nawet i lepiej， bo ostatecznie oceniam ją pozytywnie。 Zawarte w niej treści były ciekawe， czasami również i zabawne， Thomas Erikson posługiwał się lekką formą przekazu， ani razu nie poczułam， że książka jest ciężka w odbiorze， że muszę od niej odpocząć i poczekać， aż wiedza się przyswoi。 Sytuacje zmyślone， czy te， które faktycznie komuś się przytrafiły， są niezwykle ułatwiające zrozumienie sposobu działania psychop Jakie są moje odczucia？ Nie wiedziałam， czego się po niej spodziewać， ale może to nawet i lepiej， bo ostatecznie oceniam ją pozytywnie。 Zawarte w niej treści były ciekawe， czasami również i zabawne， Thomas Erikson posługiwał się lekką formą przekazu， ani razu nie poczułam， że książka jest ciężka w odbiorze， że muszę od niej odpocząć i poczekać， aż wiedza się przyswoi。 Sytuacje zmyślone， czy te， które faktycznie komuś się przytrafiły， są niezwykle ułatwiające zrozumienie sposobu działania psychopatów。 Dużo prościej można wtedy połączyć przyswojoną wiedzę z relacjami， które， być może， nam się przytrafią w przyszłości。 Czy autor zaciekawił mnie tematem psychologii， manipulacji i pozwolił lepiej zrozumieć psychopatów？ To na pewno。 Nie jestem pewna， czy sięgnę jeszcze po inne książki Thomasa。 Myślę， że zagłębię się w tym temacie， ale poprzez inne źródła wiedzy – na przykład te， które zostały wymienione na końcu książki。 Lekki język jest przyjemny， by rozpocząć z tym tematem， myślę jednak， że dla osoby， która chce nauczyć się więcej lub która już jest na kierunku psychologicznym na studiach， może to być niewystarczające。 Dla mnie jednak było to zupełnie inaczej。https://bookprisoner。blogspot。com/202。。。 。。。more
Anakin Skywalker
，
Serdecznie odradzam。
Kim Mora
，
Hijacked this title from a coworker。 （Hmmm。。。） True value for a psychopath to figure out ways to drive his coworkers crazy。 For whom was this writer targeting this how-to book？
Magdalina
，
3，5
Edi McNinch
，
Excellent easy to read descriptive book。 The author gives examples of psychopathic behaviors and at what point they become a problem for those around these people and advice on extracating yourself from the attention of a psychopath。 Unfortunately I have had some experience with people who meet all the criteria for being a full blown case。 I wish this book had been in existence 20 years ago so I could have avoided some people completely！ I had not read his book， "Surrounded By Idiots"so the colo Excellent easy to read descriptive book。 The author gives examples of psychopathic behaviors and at what point they become a problem for those around these people and advice on extracating yourself from the attention of a psychopath。 Unfortunately I have had some experience with people who meet all the criteria for being a full blown case。 I wish this book had been in existence 20 years ago so I could have avoided some people completely！ I had not read his book， "Surrounded By Idiots"so the color coding system was new to me and I enjoyed learning about these categories。 Interesting and meaningful book。I was provided an advanced reader copy and was under no obligation to provide a review。 The opinions expressed are my own。 Thanks to the author，publisher and NetGalley for allowing me to read this book。 。。。more
Ed
，
An important book to read， especially in this day and age。 Not only do you get a clearer understanding of psychopaths but the manipulators that are part of your life。 Thomas Erikson is straight to the point and says it as it is。
Lim Paul
，
A gift from my friend and an international best seller is the only reason that I completed this book。 In my opinion perhaps the only relatable psychological relationship is the author last name。The thing about self-help book is that it is often backed up by pseudo science that is written in a manner cater to lay person that is unaware of the concepts presented in the book。 Thomas Erikson's surrounded by psychopath is another classic example of such reading。 It started with running examples of wh A gift from my friend and an international best seller is the only reason that I completed this book。 In my opinion perhaps the only relatable psychological relationship is the author last name。The thing about self-help book is that it is often backed up by pseudo science that is written in a manner cater to lay person that is unaware of the concepts presented in the book。 Thomas Erikson's surrounded by psychopath is another classic example of such reading。 It started with running examples of what psychopath is， by claiming real experience to draw a more convincing outlook of his knowledge。 Sadly how real such experiences are will never be known。 The contents within the book are also contraidict in relating of the pseudo ideas， at the introduction he described psychopath to be known as a classification that is beyond the DISC spectrum， however at later chapters decided that some traits are similar to DISC spectrum。The semantic usage of the words is also problematic and often unnecessary， for instance manipulation in p84。 Thomas conflate the concept of manipulation with influence and persuasion， such loosely use of words can easily be interpreted wrongly and also dangerous and create unnecessary miscommunication。 Taking such conflation at face value would also means that we are constantly manipulating others， which Thomas term it as only natural。 He then go on to prescribe an additional adjective to manipulation as being positive or negative， which is redundant and unhelpful， especially intuitively nobody relates manipulation with a positive connotation to it。 The attempts by Thomas to conflate concept and then re-catergorised them， may serves as a means to simplify certain concept but is often unnecessary and unhelpful to differentiate between concept。 The portions that really makes me tick are1） the examples given， which are often if not all are unable to verify its authenticity and tend to claim as real life examples。 This gives reader an impression that psychopath are really everywhere and real， which is not necessarily true。2） Passing statement that are either dismissive or contrary - for instance， helping others will subject ourselve to be exploited - p93; making remarks that psychologists are unable to come to a conclusive answer if psychopathic is curable but ironically will claim research data to support his position。The author also classified psychopathic traits into the different colours， except for the blue because they are too meticulous （again another passing remark with no basis）。 However， this attempt really undermine the psychopathic traits that the author has been trying to establish in the earlier chapters。Mainly the fact that he could classified them so easily into the different colours of psychopathic traits ironically contradict his earlier statement inferring that the classifying psychopath is impossible。 In addition， the way he attempted to differentiate psychopath with normal people is just that they are not remorse with their doing， however psychopathic traits tend to be measure in degree rather than a clear binary distinction between psychopath and people who are normal。 It then goes on to suggest how a psychopath manipulate the different colours， which is strange because the earlier part of the book the author was very concerned about the psychopath who wanted to take advantage of the personalities traits of the different colour but now wrote a manual on how to do it。 Although I suspect that some may argue that the knowledge provided by the author serve as a means to know how to prevent being manipulated， but It is one thing to learn to defend and another to learn to offend。 I don't need to teach someone how to shoot a gun to prepare them to protect from gun violence。That being said， the book is not entirely without some nuggets of content to take away， for example he mentioned in the book that "Fear isn't the problem。 The problem is how you choose to handle it。" However， this sprinkle of "wisdom" does little to the overall quality of the book content。In summary， the general take away of this book is how much emphasis Thomas made on the authenticity of the 4 colours "DISC"， however， the scientific references to this concept is not only missing but overly inflated。 Thomas make numerous passing remarks of researches or papers to suggest his concept but hardly provide any authentic sources。Furthermore， his overly conflate and simplify concept is definitely unhelpful to the general reader， he represents himself as some sort of an authoritative figure or an expert in the field of behaviour psychology but is backed by his own pseudoscientific understanding of human behaviour。 His intention in this book has been clear， to crept unwarranted skepticism to his readers， and in this time and age where the general public are mostly literate but lacks critical thinking is definitely a dangerous concoction to the progress of civilisation。 If anything is worth mentioning， perhaps the most representation of a manipulative individual is none other than the author himself， not so much as to say he is a psychopath but clearly an overrated writer that devise content to meet the general population that doesn't subscribe to critical analysis。 。。。more
Liina Palu
，
I thought that it was a good book， it gave some great insight into what a psychopath thinks， how he/she thinks and how you can't fight directly with a psychopats or with a person who has a lot of psychopathic traits。 As a victim of a manipulative behaviour for years I got some answers in the book about what kind of a person I'm dealing with。 But I give it just four stars cause there were some things I could loudly argue with him。 Still I would love to write Thomas Erikson and give him my two cen I thought that it was a good book， it gave some great insight into what a psychopath thinks， how he/she thinks and how you can't fight directly with a psychopats or with a person who has a lot of psychopathic traits。 As a victim of a manipulative behaviour for years I got some answers in the book about what kind of a person I'm dealing with。 But I give it just four stars cause there were some things I could loudly argue with him。 Still I would love to write Thomas Erikson and give him my two cents。 。。。more
Yomna
，
I can't stress enough how this has enlightened me。 I already had a very positive experience with the first book， Surrounded by Idiots， which allowed me to have a better understanding for people and different human behaviours。 It had also made me more open minded and I have， since then， become more accepting of the fact that people are different and it is me who should adapt to them to make interactions easier。Surrounded by Psychopaths made me aware of some dangers that I never thought were there I can't stress enough how this has enlightened me。 I already had a very positive experience with the first book， Surrounded by Idiots， which allowed me to have a better understanding for people and different human behaviours。 It had also made me more open minded and I have， since then， become more accepting of the fact that people are different and it is me who should adapt to them to make interactions easier。Surrounded by Psychopaths made me aware of some dangers that I never thought were there。 It also explains the methods of manipulation and the author repeats， rather excessively， the reminder that psychopaths are evil and have no remorse。 I never thought people like that even existed。 I've always thought that people who do evil things are doing them as a result of previous abuse or simply with reasons behind their behaviour。 But Psychopaths do not have reasons。 And it is very mind blowing that I never thought of it that way。 I am very grateful to have read this book and I recommend it to everyone。 Psychology is such an interesting topic and I'm glad I get to learn more about it from Thomas Erikson。 。。。more
Clara Wilcox
，
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 You can find out more of my review on: https://thebalancecollective。co。uk/20。。。 You can find out more of my review on: https://thebalancecollective。co。uk/20。。。 。。。more
Kasperi
，
Awesome
Readingbeatle
，
Interesting but got boring at times。
FaraB
，
As well as just being an interesting read about a topic that interests me， I think I’ve actually learned some new things that could be very helpful in the future。 It actually was an eye-opener that lets me look differently at certain situations。 I feel like at least now I’m ready to see what’s going on and what people are trying to do。 This is a must read for a lot of people。 Even if you think you’re strong enough and think you’ll never fall for any kind of manipulation。 I really recommend this！
August Cesar
，