The Way I Used to Be
- Downloads：8310
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2023-01-04 00:51:40
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Amber Smith
- ISBN：0861546733
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
In the tradition of Speak， this extraordinary debut novel shares the unforgettable story of a young woman as she struggles to find strength in the aftermath of an assault。
Eden was always good at being good。 Starting high school didn’t change who she was。 But the night her brother’s best friend rapes her， Eden’s world capsizes。
What was once simple， is now complex。 What Eden once loved—who she once loved—she now hates。 What she thought she knew to be true， is now lies。 Nothing makes sense anymore， and she knows she’s supposed to tell someone what happened but she can’t。 So she buries it instead。 And she buries the way she used to be。
Told in four parts—freshman， sophomore， junior， and senior year—this provocative debut reveals the deep cuts of trauma。 But it also demonstrates one young woman’s strength as she navigates the disappointment and unbearable pains of adolescence， of first love and first heartbreak， of friendships broken and rebuilt， and while learning to embrace a power of survival she never knew she had hidden within her heart。
Eden was always good at being good。 Starting high school didn’t change who she was。 But the night her brother’s best friend rapes her， Eden’s world capsizes。
What was once simple， is now complex。 What Eden once loved—who she once loved—she now hates。 What she thought she knew to be true， is now lies。 Nothing makes sense anymore， and she knows she’s supposed to tell someone what happened but she can’t。 So she buries it instead。 And she buries the way she used to be。
Told in four parts—freshman， sophomore， junior， and senior year—this provocative debut reveals the deep cuts of trauma。 But it also demonstrates one young woman’s strength as she navigates the disappointment and unbearable pains of adolescence， of first love and first heartbreak， of friendships broken and rebuilt， and while learning to embrace a power of survival she never knew she had hidden within her heart。
Reviews
Liz Johnson
，
I thought it was very good
Kathleen Ramsey
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Loved It。 Demonstrates the emotional trauma and consequences of assault。 More mature， but not graphic。
Tessa Robbins
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This book is extremely good at portraying what it feels like to heal from sexual trauma。 It felt like a relief to read in the sense that I felt seen。 Understood。 Not alone。 Amber Smith， you are an inspiration to me。
Michelle Tian
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4。5 stars。this book was so hard to read。 amber smith was so brutally honest and transparent on the lasting effects of trauma， and for that， i applaud her。 it's not an easy topic to explore。it was a wild rollercoaster for me。 i wanted to scream at some points and there were also other times where it literally felt like my heart was breaking。 and then i wanted to cry。 everything was just written so well。i LOVED eden。 i loved her so much。 she was so raw and genuine and realistic。 i loved her more b 4。5 stars。this book was so hard to read。 amber smith was so brutally honest and transparent on the lasting effects of trauma， and for that， i applaud her。 it's not an easy topic to explore。it was a wild rollercoaster for me。 i wanted to scream at some points and there were also other times where it literally felt like my heart was breaking。 and then i wanted to cry。 everything was just written so well。i LOVED eden。 i loved her so much。 she was so raw and genuine and realistic。 i loved her more because of her flaws， and i loved her through every up and down she went through。 i also loved josh and thought he was such an incredible character。mara， cameron， and steve on the other hand？ absolutely not。 they were realistic and they didn't necessarily do anything wrong。。。 but when you love eden as much as i did， it's hard not to hate them。 if you're looking to read this， DEFINITELY CHECK TRIGGER WARNINGS。 it's not an easy read， but it's so important we bring these stories to more people。 。。。more
Meredith Kelly
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This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 I don’t have much to say besides just read this book。 After reading it in one sitting， I can honestly say it will change you。 The aftermath of trauma is something that varies from person to person so I understand how some people are upset that they don’t think this is “accurate”， but I can unfortunately say that is 100% false。 The way the book was written into four parts （each being a year in high school） is such an ingenious way to describe character development and trauma response。 I think thi I don’t have much to say besides just read this book。 After reading it in one sitting， I can honestly say it will change you。 The aftermath of trauma is something that varies from person to person so I understand how some people are upset that they don’t think this is “accurate”， but I can unfortunately say that is 100% false。 The way the book was written into four parts （each being a year in high school） is such an ingenious way to describe character development and trauma response。 I think this book is a step in the right direction of taking away the stigma of talking about sexual assault。 。。。more
Ashlee Nettuno
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holy shit everyone needs to read this book。 I’ve never cried so hard at a book。 It was by far the best most well written book i’ve ever read。 the story is incredible， the writing is insane I wanted to reach into the pages and hug her。
Abby
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This。 Book。 Is。 Beautiful。 For so many different experiences around this subject it makes you feel heard。
cait ♡
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pain。 just pain。 love u eden。
Sarah Creason
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I cried reading this more than any other book。 It’s so important to reveal the fear and self hatred from the victims POV。 Overall the realism in this book was validating to so many victims。
Chelsea Bernard
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It was authentic at telling the story。 The emotions seem very true to the things the main character expierenced。 It is not my usual read though。
Mikayla Temple
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“All these maybes swimming around my head make me think that ‘maybe’ could just be another word for hope。”This book was so emotional and raw。 The ups and downs emotionally， mentally and relationship wise。 I think I’ll forever be rooting for Eden and Josh to be a thing though。So much love for this book。 A must read for everyone。
Hannah Adkins
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Hard to keep up with at first…。 ending was good though
Abby
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This book is definitely a must read， it’s such a good story。 It gets hard to read sometimes so just be aware。
Brittany
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This book is heartbreaking。
Alexis Arnall
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LOVE！ I might of cried at the end but would 100% recommend
Jenna Mortenson
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5/5 ⭐️ The only words that I can really use to describe this book right now are gut wrenching and impactful。 I feel like this is a book that everyone must read at least once in their life。
Jordan Walsh
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Really nice book。 I liked how it went through each year and how she changed。 Relatable for people who have gone through similar things。 I just wish the ending had more。 I have so many questions。
A one A
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This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 Ok I did not like Eden’s friend （Mara） in part 1，2&4 in three she was fine;I like how she’s was worried about Edy when she was getting bad but the rest she was really just weird like it was all about her and I personally didn’t like her。
ally
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I haven’t read a book since middle school。 This is my first book in a long time， and I basically finished it in two days。 MAY CONTAIN SPOILERSI love this book so much。 Some may disagree， but it’s powerful。 Everyone goes down their own path after facing something very dramatic， and I’m glad this book reached out and talked about the path not many talk about， and some others may even look down upon。 As someone who is a victim， I love how this book explained in depth about Eden’s mindset。 It was ve I haven’t read a book since middle school。 This is my first book in a long time， and I basically finished it in two days。 MAY CONTAIN SPOILERSI love this book so much。 Some may disagree， but it’s powerful。 Everyone goes down their own path after facing something very dramatic， and I’m glad this book reached out and talked about the path not many talk about， and some others may even look down upon。 As someone who is a victim， I love how this book explained in depth about Eden’s mindset。 It was very relatable。 Maybe too relatable。 I was able to find something that explained my mindset a little bit too well。 This book tells a story of a girl going through something SO traumatic at such a young age without telling a single soul。 Her behavior is understandable， and there’s been so many times reading this where I wish she would say something because it was so heartbreaking。 My heart was aching for her。 So much growth， so much character development。 I loved it when she realized that she didn’t need someone to save her， and she had to save herself。 Also I don’t even want to talk about Josh。 I love that man。 I like to think they got together after some time。 Right person wrong time。 Josh is a significant person everyone needs in their lives。 ANYWAYS; I cried my heart out near the end。 I cried so hard。 So many emotions all at once。 I’m going to think about this book for DAYS！！！！ 。。。more
Sally
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What an amazing first book of the year。 It’s raw; it’s real; it’s heartbreaking。 A truly deep and impacting book。
Sarah
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Cried so hard i couldn’t breath。
Genevieve Leto
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This was hard to read for so many reasons but it was so good and the story of Eden is so important
firu
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awesome。 i already cried at the first page。 please do look up the tws before you read this book。
Andreea Gabriela
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Finalul cărții este foarte emoționant， de-a dreptul trist， te face să treci prin numeroase stări。 Cartea urmărește evoluția lui Eden， o fată care se luptă cu traumele lăsate de anumite întâmplări nefericite și care nu știe cum să revină la "fata care era cândva"。Mi-au plăcut multe lucruri la aceasta carte， dar consider că i-a lipsit ceva， în opinia mea。 Atinge un subiect sensibil， iar anumite faze ce se derulau periodic m-au făcut chiar să nu vreau să o continui。Am terminat-o totuși și mă bucur Finalul cărții este foarte emoționant， de-a dreptul trist， te face să treci prin numeroase stări。 Cartea urmărește evoluția lui Eden， o fată care se luptă cu traumele lăsate de anumite întâmplări nefericite și care nu știe cum să revină la "fata care era cândva"。Mi-au plăcut multe lucruri la aceasta carte， dar consider că i-a lipsit ceva， în opinia mea。 Atinge un subiect sensibil， iar anumite faze ce se derulau periodic m-au făcut chiar să nu vreau să o continui。Am terminat-o totuși și mă bucur că am decis asta， deoarece spre final， pe alocuri， s-a dovedit a fi ceea ce așteptam。 。。。more
Sara Jayne
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Would’ve given 5 stars but didn’t make me cry
Nicole Lavender
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Heartbreaking and suspenseful all at the same time。 I really enjoyed this book and I’m glad that I went back to finish it。
Lesly Meyers-Gelin
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I’m so glad I started the new year with this book wow。 I have given a book 5 stars in a minute but this book well deserved it。 I knew what this book was about but there was absolutely no way I was going to guess have the shit that occurred。 It reminded me a lot of the book speak but there is a lot of differences though。 But anyways #joshsupermacy #kevinneedstoviolentlysitonlegos
Elise Dismuke
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I really liked this book！ The way it was written was easy for me to understand， and I really appreciate how books like these bring awareness to how people deal and come to terms with their SA。 I rated a 4。2 ⭐️ due to the ending being realistic yet predictable。 Though， I do enjoy how the ending is truly up to the reader’s interpretation on what happens after the story。 It is definitely a good read， I really recommend this book and hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did！
Sophia Sougaris
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I really enjoyed the plot of this book。 It’s hard to read at times and frustrating。 I think that the two middle sections weren’t as well written as the first and fourth parts。 I think the ending was absolutely amazing。
Alaina Yonke
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Very slow in the beginning but a happy/sad ending
Reference
google book https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=The Way I Used to Be
hathitrust digital library https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/ls?q1=The Way I Used to Be&field1=ocr&a=srchls&ft=ft&lmt=ft
The British Library https://bll01.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/discovery/search?query=any,contains,The Way I Used to Be&tab=LibraryCatalog&search_scope=Not_BL_Suppress&vid=44BL_INST:BLL01&lang=en&offset=0