THE GRIEVING BRAIN
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- Create Date：2022-11-22 05:52:12
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Mary-Frances O'Connor
- ISBN：0063266962
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Summary
A renowned grief expert and neuroscientist shares groundbreaking discoveries about what happens in our brain when we grieve， providing a new paradigm for understanding love， loss， and learning。
For as long as humans have existed， we have struggled when a loved one dies。 Poets and playwrights have written about the dark cloak of grief， the deep yearning， how devastating heartache feels。 But until now， we have had little scientific perspective on this universal experience。
In The Grieving Brain， neuroscientist and psychologist Mary-Frances O'Connor， PhD， gives us a fascinating new window into one of the hallmark experiences of being human。 O'Connor has devoted decades to researching the effects of grief on the brain， and in this book， she makes cutting-edge neuroscience accessible through her contagious enthusiasm， and guides us through how we encode love and grief。 With love， our neurons help us form attachments to others; but， with loss， our brain must come to terms with where our loved ones went， or how to imagine a future that encompasses their absence。
Based on O'Connor's own trailblazing neuroimaging work， research in the field， and her real-life stories， The Grieving Brain does what the best popular science books do， combining storytelling， accessible science， and practical knowledge that will help us better understand what happens when we grieve and how to navigate loss with more ease and grace。
The Grieving Brain includes 3 black-and-white illustrations。
For as long as humans have existed， we have struggled when a loved one dies。 Poets and playwrights have written about the dark cloak of grief， the deep yearning， how devastating heartache feels。 But until now， we have had little scientific perspective on this universal experience。
In The Grieving Brain， neuroscientist and psychologist Mary-Frances O'Connor， PhD， gives us a fascinating new window into one of the hallmark experiences of being human。 O'Connor has devoted decades to researching the effects of grief on the brain， and in this book， she makes cutting-edge neuroscience accessible through her contagious enthusiasm， and guides us through how we encode love and grief。 With love， our neurons help us form attachments to others; but， with loss， our brain must come to terms with where our loved ones went， or how to imagine a future that encompasses their absence。
Based on O'Connor's own trailblazing neuroimaging work， research in the field， and her real-life stories， The Grieving Brain does what the best popular science books do， combining storytelling， accessible science， and practical knowledge that will help us better understand what happens when we grieve and how to navigate loss with more ease and grace。
The Grieving Brain includes 3 black-and-white illustrations。
Reviews
Morgan
，
I got a little bogged down at times by the neuroscience， but overall this was a great book that gave me some new， helpful perspectives on grief and eased my concerns about how "normal" my grieving experience has been。 4-4。5 stars I got a little bogged down at times by the neuroscience， but overall this was a great book that gave me some new， helpful perspectives on grief and eased my concerns about how "normal" my grieving experience has been。 4-4。5 stars 。。。more
Anastasia
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I’m glad the research exists， 5 stars for the research。 The book on the other hand gets 3。 It felt disorganized and repetitive while simultaneously leaving out so much that felt crucial。
Tori
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SO accessible
Alanna
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Thank you HarperOne for gifting me this book and allowing me the opportunity to read it！ This was a thorough delve into the grieving brain and how grief affects everyone differently。 I was shocked that the 7 stages of grief are not scientifically supported anymore after new research has come to light and this is damaging other people's view of what their grief should look like。 O'Connor also discusses how our minds have a mapping system of where each of our loved ones are located， and when death Thank you HarperOne for gifting me this book and allowing me the opportunity to read it！ This was a thorough delve into the grieving brain and how grief affects everyone differently。 I was shocked that the 7 stages of grief are not scientifically supported anymore after new research has come to light and this is damaging other people's view of what their grief should look like。 O'Connor also discusses how our minds have a mapping system of where each of our loved ones are located， and when death occurs ， it is hard for our brains to rewire and accept the fact that they are nowhere on the map。 I read this book after a loss in the family because I wanted to understand the grieving process and how loss shapes our brains。 This was a wonderful and insightful read。 。。。more
Mehtap exotiquetv
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Das Gehirn， das trauert。 Was macht es aus und wieso haben wir diese Art von Emotionen。 Warum beschuldigen Menschen bei Todesfällen andere Menschen？ Dieses Buch ist wie Balsam für die Seele weil man sich doch in irgendeiner Persona wiederfindet。
Alex
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Interesting analysis of the current literature on grieving， easy to read and process but doesn't give much practical suggestions on how to grieve or help someone grieving。 Interesting analysis of the current literature on grieving， easy to read and process but doesn't give much practical suggestions on how to grieve or help someone grieving。 。。。more
April
，
📚 Book #73: “The Grieving Brain” by Mary-Frances O'Connor， PhD📕 This book is about the science of grief， what happens physiologically in our brains， and what evidence exists around how to grieve effectively。 O'Connor speaks about the difference between actively thinking about a deceases loved one and letting our mind passively wander to thoughts of them。 She explains how our identities can become so intertwined with another that our brains don't differentiate us as individuals anymore， which mak 📚 Book #73: “The Grieving Brain” by Mary-Frances O'Connor， PhD📕 This book is about the science of grief， what happens physiologically in our brains， and what evidence exists around how to grieve effectively。 O'Connor speaks about the difference between actively thinking about a deceases loved one and letting our mind passively wander to thoughts of them。 She explains how our identities can become so intertwined with another that our brains don't differentiate us as individuals anymore， which makes it exceptionally difficult to accept when they have passed。 This book combines science with real world applications to help us work through grief in our own lives。 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 4/5: Unplanned， but this was the perfect accompaniment to the last book I finished。 Grief is the price of love and both books touch on these two topics in tandem。 This isn't necessarily a guide that will help you through your grieving process。 It reads very much more like a textbook of the neuroscience behind grief -- because that's what it's meant to be。 O'Connor still adds a human element throughout， so it's not a cold read either。🤓 You should read this if you liked "Wired for Love" by Stephanie Cacioppo or if you're interested in neuroscience and would like to understand more about what grief actually does to us。 I wouldn't necessarily recommend this to someone actively grieving as there isn't a huge amount of applicable advice。 。。。more
Erica Stratton
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This would be another 3。5 rating。 Really interesting info here。 It is written by an expert， though， and it's not always clear to me whether the intended audience is other experts or laypeople。 For example: when there are long descriptions （methodology included） of research articles。 I guess I'm saying that I learned a lot but it gets into the weeds sometimes This would be another 3。5 rating。 Really interesting info here。 It is written by an expert， though， and it's not always clear to me whether the intended audience is other experts or laypeople。 For example: when there are long descriptions （methodology included） of research articles。 I guess I'm saying that I learned a lot but it gets into the weeds sometimes 。。。more
Danice
，
I wholeheartedly enjoyed this phenomenal book。 Dr。 O'Connor's work brings grief theories to life through detailed explanations of her scientific research with FMRI machines and easy to follow analogies， such as describing walking through your dark dining room and discovering that your dining room table has been stolen by NOT bumping into it as the way your brain has to learn to process the loss of a loved one。 I adore her references to the social lives of meer cats， voles， and penguins and I fee I wholeheartedly enjoyed this phenomenal book。 Dr。 O'Connor's work brings grief theories to life through detailed explanations of her scientific research with FMRI machines and easy to follow analogies， such as describing walking through your dark dining room and discovering that your dining room table has been stolen by NOT bumping into it as the way your brain has to learn to process the loss of a loved one。 I adore her references to the social lives of meer cats， voles， and penguins and I feel like I would get great enjoyment out of taking her class if I could。 Yes， this is a book about grief， loss， and grieving， but it's also a guide to how this blossoming field of study has so much to teach us and so many ways we can yet help those suffering from this universal constant of grief。 。。。more
Parthena Wollen
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A good book for understanding the brain's role in grieving。 A good book for understanding the brain's role in grieving。 。。。more
Logan
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Highly recommend for anyone navigating grief & loss。
Carolyn Virginia
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Very interesting！ I read per advice of Beth。 It led to good conversations between us。 I copied several pages for future referral。 I didn't give a 5 star because， at times， i found the writing a little confusing。 Very interesting！ I read per advice of Beth。 It led to good conversations between us。 I copied several pages for future referral。 I didn't give a 5 star because， at times， i found the writing a little confusing。 。。。more
M
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I really appreciated the analogies in this book。
Cindy
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Very interesting research into what goes on in the brain as we grieve。
Sara Knab
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3。5 ishI like how it normalizes grieving as a typical brain function making it more relatable。 There was a lot science involvement that sometimes got repetitive and boring。
Matthew Briggs
，
I found it helpful to understand what is happing in my brain and why the loss of my wife is as painful as it is。 Not everybody would benefit from this type of information but I am very much a “why” type of person。
Amaan Pirani
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Given circumstances， I have been thinking a lot about death recently。 The grieving brain was one of my attempts to understand the concept of grief in more depth。 To be very honest， I didn't find this book to be super practical - I think the title of the book in this way is almost a bit clickbaity - it draws in people who think they'll get guided neuroscience on how to navigate griefOf course the author， about 20 pages in posits that the book is not meant to be practical。 And indeed， for the most Given circumstances， I have been thinking a lot about death recently。 The grieving brain was one of my attempts to understand the concept of grief in more depth。 To be very honest， I didn't find this book to be super practical - I think the title of the book in this way is almost a bit clickbaity - it draws in people who think they'll get guided neuroscience on how to navigate griefOf course the author， about 20 pages in posits that the book is not meant to be practical。 And indeed， for the most part， it was not， instead focusing far too much on nitty gritty neuroscience that was often speculative in nature。That all withstanding I did learn some things about grief， after suffering through laborious descriptions of scientific methodologies。 I was particularly fascinated by a few psychological theories the author mentions （cross-rumination for example） and found these ideas refreshing especially in light of how many psych books seem to repeat the same set of concepts。 Overall an okay read - not what I was looking for - and honestly not super practical for most。 。。。more
L。T。
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Wow。 The explanations of how the brain processes loss （or the lack thereof really， from a certain perspective） were incredible to read and eventually comprehend。The last chapter was like reading a hug through tears， though strangely it's the only chapter I didn't cry during。 This author is a treasure。 Making science palatable for the tired like me is a gift。Reading this on the heels of my mother and her mother's deaths opened up wounds， but was ultimately a balm。 Wow。 The explanations of how the brain processes loss （or the lack thereof really， from a certain perspective） were incredible to read and eventually comprehend。The last chapter was like reading a hug through tears， though strangely it's the only chapter I didn't cry during。 This author is a treasure。 Making science palatable for the tired like me is a gift。Reading this on the heels of my mother and her mother's deaths opened up wounds， but was ultimately a balm。 。。。more
Geneva
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An interesting read， and I definitely learned some interesting tidbits。 For example， distractions from grief can actually be a good thing， i。e。 going to a fun party and forgetting about your grief for a while can actually be a very good thing for you。 I always thought that was an unhealthy form of avoidance coping or some such problem。 Informative， also love that it’s by a U of Arizona professor and ties in Tucson at times。
Krystyn Contero
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Truly fascinating stuff。 Helped to provide a lot of comfort to my grieving brain。 Particularly appreciated the explanation on how the 5 Stages of Grief are inaccurate to most。
Amy Gibson
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Really goodI read this book as continuing ed for licensure。 One of the rare times I can say CE was a pleasure。 Recommend to everyone。
Lark Benobi
，
Seven people close to me have died in the last few years， six of them in terrifying and unexpected circumstances， and it's possible I was wanting too much from this book。 It's good。 It's interesting。 It's written with compassion。 A lot of my feeling while reading it， though， boiled down to this question: why must I get over it？ People in the studies cited here who report recovering from grief quickly are labeled "resilient，" and those who don't are pathologized， and although O'Connor does take c Seven people close to me have died in the last few years， six of them in terrifying and unexpected circumstances， and it's possible I was wanting too much from this book。 It's good。 It's interesting。 It's written with compassion。 A lot of my feeling while reading it， though， boiled down to this question: why must I get over it？ People in the studies cited here who report recovering from grief quickly are labeled "resilient，" and those who don't are pathologized， and although O'Connor does take care to separate 'grief' from 'depression' it felt implicit in the text that grief isn't good for us。 I'm wondering about it。 There can be a kind of joy that comes along with allowing oneself to fully participate in feelings of grief and loss。 To not think you need to get over it in a certain amount of time。 To not worry that you're failing， somehow， by continuing to grieve instead of being 'resilient。' I have a friend who will never get over the loss of her child fifteen years ago。 Who am I to say that isn't her best possible way to live her life， in constant mourning？ Grief brings so many things about life into such sharp relief。 I don't have anything intelligent to say about it except that grief isn't an illness。 And now my mind has just been hijacked by one of Thomas Mann's characters in The Magic Mountain， a woman known as "Tous-les-Deux，" a Mexican mother whose first son is dead， and second son soon will be， and she has no common language with anyone at the sanatorium with whom to express her grief。 I understand her now。 。。。more
Cor T
，
This is the first book on grief that met me where I am。 The author presents the Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement （from the 90s） that is now favored over Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' 5 stages of grief （from the 60s）。 By oscillating between "loss-oriented stressors" and "restoration-oriented stressors" within our everyday life experience， we are learning to restore a meaningful life。 。。。you are trying; you’re out in the world， learning how to carry the other person inside; learning to liste This is the first book on grief that met me where I am。 The author presents the Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement （from the 90s） that is now favored over Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' 5 stages of grief （from the 60s）。 By oscillating between "loss-oriented stressors" and "restoration-oriented stressors" within our everyday life experience， we are learning to restore a meaningful life。 。。。you are trying; you’re out in the world， learning how to carry the other person inside; learning to listen to others， not just the voices in your head; and you’re making new memories， testing yourself in new experiences （and surviving）。Listened on Audible: 4 stars only because I didn't like the the narrator's voice （ok on 1。2x speed）。 。。。more
Lisa
，
Wow， this book actually blew my mind。 It’s not self-help per se， but as someone who has grieved I found it so validating and affirming， and I think most of your grieving clients would too。 Written from a neuroscience perspective， O’Connor explains to us what is happening in the brain as we are grieving。 Our brains make a “map” of the people we love in time， space & closeness。 I can tell you where most of the people I love are right now because it’s tracked by my brain。 The problem is the brain h Wow， this book actually blew my mind。 It’s not self-help per se， but as someone who has grieved I found it so validating and affirming， and I think most of your grieving clients would too。 Written from a neuroscience perspective， O’Connor explains to us what is happening in the brain as we are grieving。 Our brains make a “map” of the people we love in time， space & closeness。 I can tell you where most of the people I love are right now because it’s tracked by my brain。 The problem is the brain has no real reference point for one of those people just disappearing or not existing; that doesn’t make sense to the brain， and the brain sets out to find them。 The process of grieving is a learning process of laying down a whole new neural map， which takes some time。 Your brain is constantly giving you reminders of the people you love - call your son， buy a gift for your best friend， etc。 These reminders don’t stop just because someone dies， but now that reminder is painful instead of helpful。 Again， O’Connor doesn’t give specific steps to restore a meaningful life necessarily。 But I just found this book helpful and super fascinating。 。。。more
Lee
，
Interesting， but too physiological。i was looking for emotion based grief。
Sonia Bellhouse
，
Perhaps one more the scientists and researchers than those experiencing grief。
Kathy
，
Very interesting and illuminating science behind attachment and loss。
Karen Ng
，
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 The author is an expert on grief and a neuroscientist who later used MRI on his interviwed patients to explain/describe what happens in our brain when we grieve， as well as why and how we grieve in the brain's perspective。 In a way， this was more of a neuroscience book than a self-help book。 A bit of prior knowledge on the human brain is definitely useful before reading。 This was the very first book I've read using new brain researches to explain the grieving process。 It was fascinating。 Lots of The author is an expert on grief and a neuroscientist who later used MRI on his interviwed patients to explain/describe what happens in our brain when we grieve， as well as why and how we grieve in the brain's perspective。 In a way， this was more of a neuroscience book than a self-help book。 A bit of prior knowledge on the human brain is definitely useful before reading。 This was the very first book I've read using new brain researches to explain the grieving process。 It was fascinating。 Lots of common questions were answered， including but not limited to:-Why and how to get over the death of a loved one。-Why some losses hit us harder than others。 - Does one ever get over the loss？-Does time really heal？ If so， how does it work？-What are some ways to get over grief， in the neurological perspective？-What do some people who lead beautiful life after terrible losses have in common？I always suspected that the only way to get over hurt and anger（most common expressions of grief） is to rewire our brain， according to recent researches and this book， it's true。 。。。more
Amanda
，
There were definitely some gems in here， but I've already studied a lot about grief， so I didn't learn as much as I'd hoped and thus it took me a while to push through this one。 There were definitely some gems in here， but I've already studied a lot about grief， so I didn't learn as much as I'd hoped and thus it took me a while to push through this one。 。。。more
Sara Solomon
，
This book was excellent。 I am a social worker and found so many teaching tools for clients and for myself。 This is a rare book that is dense with information and light on fluff。 I don’t thank the author wasted a single page。 A must read。
Reference
google book https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=THE GRIEVING BRAIN
hathitrust digital library https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/ls?q1=THE GRIEVING BRAIN&field1=ocr&a=srchls&ft=ft&lmt=ft
The British Library https://bll01.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/discovery/search?query=any,contains,THE GRIEVING BRAIN&tab=LibraryCatalog&search_scope=Not_BL_Suppress&vid=44BL_INST:BLL01&lang=en&offset=0