No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind
- Downloads：3889
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2022-09-18 06:57:52
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Daniel J. Siegel
- ISBN：0345548043
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER - The pioneering experts behind The Whole-Brain Child and The Yes Brain tackle the ultimate parenting challenge: discipline。
Highlighting the fascinating link between a child's neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior， No-Drama Discipline provides an effective， compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums， tensions， and tears--without causing a scene。
Defining the true meaning of the "d" word （to instruct， not to shout or reprimand）， the authors explain how to reach your child， redirect emotions， and turn a meltdown into an opportunity for growth。 By doing so， the cycle of negative behavior （and punishment） is essentially brought to a halt， as problem solving becomes a win/win situation。 Inside this sanity-saving guide you'll discover
- strategies that help parents identify their own discipline philosophy--and master the best methods to communicate the lessons they are trying to impart
- facts on child brain development--and what kind of discipline is most appropriate and constructive at all ages and stages
- the way to calmly and lovingly connect with a child--no matter how extreme the behavior--while still setting clear and consistent limits
- tips for navigating your child through a tantrum to achieve insight， empathy， and repair
- twenty discipline mistakes even the best parents make--and how to stay focused on the principles of whole-brain parenting and discipline techniques
Complete with candid stories and playful illustrations that bring the authors' suggestions to life， No-Drama Discipline shows you how to work with your child's developing mind， peacefully resolve conflicts， and inspire happiness and strengthen resilience in everyone in the family。
Highlighting the fascinating link between a child's neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior， No-Drama Discipline provides an effective， compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums， tensions， and tears--without causing a scene。
Defining the true meaning of the "d" word （to instruct， not to shout or reprimand）， the authors explain how to reach your child， redirect emotions， and turn a meltdown into an opportunity for growth。 By doing so， the cycle of negative behavior （and punishment） is essentially brought to a halt， as problem solving becomes a win/win situation。 Inside this sanity-saving guide you'll discover
- strategies that help parents identify their own discipline philosophy--and master the best methods to communicate the lessons they are trying to impart
- facts on child brain development--and what kind of discipline is most appropriate and constructive at all ages and stages
- the way to calmly and lovingly connect with a child--no matter how extreme the behavior--while still setting clear and consistent limits
- tips for navigating your child through a tantrum to achieve insight， empathy， and repair
- twenty discipline mistakes even the best parents make--and how to stay focused on the principles of whole-brain parenting and discipline techniques
Complete with candid stories and playful illustrations that bring the authors' suggestions to life， No-Drama Discipline shows you how to work with your child's developing mind， peacefully resolve conflicts， and inspire happiness and strengthen resilience in everyone in the family。
Reviews
Heather Sobek
，
I hope I can have the patience to actually use some of these strategies！
Katie Carswell
，
Focuses on connecting with your child and engages their “long” brain before redirecting their behavior。 Thought it had lots of practical advice and examples。 It was also pretty repetitive and probably could’ve gotten the same point across in half the pages。
Victoria LeBreton
，
This is one of my favorite parenting books。 This has a neuroscience based， compassionate and human perspective on parenting。 I’ve read many parenting books and this is the one I swear by based on my own experience as a mother and as a person within the mental health professional field。
Christine
，
Worth the read if you are parents， grandparents， caregiver， or anyone who helps develop a child。 Great perspective on thoughtful and effective parenting。 Enjoying the redefining of discipline。
Bethany Starin
，
This book opened up new levels of understanding for me as a parent on the ways the brains of our children are developing and how to best look them in the eyes， meet them where they are at and help them hit healthy growth。 This book reminded me that parenting is about connection at its core， which means discipline at times should wait as you cool down and find the best way to connect with your child。 Lots of practical tips and stories。It was a bit repetitive but worth the read！
Lydia
，
We started this book a few years ago in our foster support group， and I finally got the audiobook from the library to finish it。 We emphasize respect and consequences more than the authors， but I still found it very helpful。 Good reminders on the importance of connection and do-overs。 I think my favorite phrase from the book was "consistency not rigidity。" I also loved the messages of hope at the end。 We started this book a few years ago in our foster support group， and I finally got the audiobook from the library to finish it。 We emphasize respect and consequences more than the authors， but I still found it very helpful。 Good reminders on the importance of connection and do-overs。 I think my favorite phrase from the book was "consistency not rigidity。" I also loved the messages of hope at the end。 。。。more
Levi
，
Provides a realistic approach to parenting that gives concrete ideas and the “why” behind them without pretending that all suggestions work for everyone all the time。 I felt it was a little repetitive， but that could just be exacerbated by the fact that I don’t like being continually reminded of all my ineffective parenting strategies。 🤓
Liz Gonzalez
，
Could read a blog about this
Emily
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Listened to this book。 Very helpful in some aspects。 Lots of information - too much to remember specifically。
Patrick
，
Thoroughly helpful book。 Examples and stories were very helpful to me。 Very easy to read。 Easy to pick up and put down based on the short sections。
Roberta Koreivienė
，
Geras turinys， lengva skaityti。
Ashley
，
I thought this book was very interesting。 Hearing the scientific side of these discipline strategies was quite fascinating。 This will definitely be a book worth re-visiting as Sloane gets older and we have more teachable moments。
Martine
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This was a good book。 It will be one that I recommend to my friends and family。 I had bought it several years ago and only recently started reading it。 My kids are 12 and 10 so I was a bit worried they had aged out of any info I might be able to glean from this book but I was wrong。 I think it will be extremely helpful when they go into their teenage years。。。。to remember to connect and listen to them。
Amy
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My go to reference guide and suggestion for other parents to read。Most of us grew up with harsher discipline than what we see exhibited now。 While I didn't like time outs or worse - ignoring the behaviour， I wanted to stop my own cycle of wanting to hit or yell。 So what is the alternative？ This book。Connecting with your child and validating their feelings， while teaching them the skills to regulate those feelings and develop an internal compass for correct behavior。 And stepping in to physically My go to reference guide and suggestion for other parents to read。Most of us grew up with harsher discipline than what we see exhibited now。 While I didn't like time outs or worse - ignoring the behaviour， I wanted to stop my own cycle of wanting to hit or yell。 So what is the alternative？ This book。Connecting with your child and validating their feelings， while teaching them the skills to regulate those feelings and develop an internal compass for correct behavior。 And stepping in to physically remove them if a situation was too much （ie tantrum in the store/bday party）。 Circling back to always be talking to your kid and asking them the big questions。 How did you feel （name it！）， what could you do next time？ How did that make so and so feel？ Allowing their own insightfulness as well as empathy to grow， and learning how to apologize and repair relationships so that they can grow up to have meaningful relationships knowing that people fight， and make mistakes， and that doesn't mean they don't love you。 Most importantly， it means you can't be a lazy parent。 You have to be proactive （especially for toddlers） to head off meltdowns when they are tired， or you know they won't like an activity。 Making something fun for them isn't spoiling them - it's teaching them that they control their outlook - you can be a miserable c**t or you can whistle while you work。 You're going to have to do things you don't like - you might as well make them most of them lemons。 I also liked this because there were specific examples of misbehaviour and how to address them。 4 year old hitting you - its in there。 Middle schooler not doing homework - its in there。 Teenager using cell phone incorrectly？ Ditto。 I don't have time to think of strategies in advance for every scenario。 I appreciated being able to start off with these concrete notes to read from verbatim while I get the hang of the new approach。 。。。more
Justus
，
I think I'm a bit burnt out on parenting books and need to take a break for a while。 Like business books they often suffer from being longer than they need to be。This is actually a pretty good book。 It covers nearly identical ground to Positive Discipline， so much so that I'm surprised it doesn't name check that book。 They have virtually identical philosophies of discipline。 So reading them back to back is not a great idea。 Don't do what I did。It is narrower focus than Positive Discipline （for i I think I'm a bit burnt out on parenting books and need to take a break for a while。 Like business books they often suffer from being longer than they need to be。This is actually a pretty good book。 It covers nearly identical ground to Positive Discipline， so much so that I'm surprised it doesn't name check that book。 They have virtually identical philosophies of discipline。 So reading them back to back is not a great idea。 Don't do what I did。It is narrower focus than Positive Discipline （for instance it doesn't talk about family meetings） and it often offers more concrete actionable advice， which is fantastic。 Yet overall I didn't like it as much as Positive Discipline。By asking ourselves these three questions—why， what， and how—when our children do something we don’t like， we can more easily shift out of autopilot mode。 First the good。 The advice in this book is good， assuming you believe even a tiny bit in their parenting philosophy。 The main theme is to try to disengage autopilot mode， for both yourself and your child， when things are spiraling out of control。 Try to be more intentional， try to connect， try to engage them in the process。 You can do your kids a lot of good simply by asking， “What are some ideas you have to make it better and solve this problem？” It also comes across as having a bit more humility than Positive Discipline。 Siegel and Bryson continually remind you that this isn't a silver bullet， it isn't a panacea， and trying to connect and engage with your kid isn't always going to work when they're having a meltdown in the middle of the supermarket aisle because you won't let them open a box of Lucky Charms and start eating marshmallows right on the spot。Aren’t you glad we didn’t use an example in which that situation worked out nicely and perfectly？ You’re relieved， aren’t you， because you know it doesn’t always go that way。 It often feels a bit more concrete and actionable than Positive Parenting， giving you small scripts to see how you approach various situations or put the philosophy isn't practice。Instead of focusing on what you don’t want （“Stop messing around and get ready， you’re going to be late for school！”）， emphasize what you do want （“I need you to brush your teeth and find your backpack”）。[。。。]Instead， what if we emphasized the positive？ Instead of “No whining，” we could say something like， “I like it when you talk in your normal voice。 Can you say that again？” Or be even more direct in teaching about effective communication: “Ask me again in your powerful， big-boy voice。” Despite all that， I liked this less than Positive Discipline。 One part is that， like Siegel's other book I've read The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind， Survive Everyday Parenting Struggles， and Help Your Family Thrive， he introduces modern brain science but it is kinda pointless （after all， Positive Parenting covers the same ground without it） and also。。。not true？ Like he makes all kind of vague claims that I'm pretty sure aren't true。No-Drama Discipline actually builds a child’s brain。 It strengthens neural connections between the upstairs and downstairs parts of the brain Yeah， I'm going to need to see the peer reviewed study backing up this claim that this specific parenting advice results in stronger neural connections。But my biggest problem was feeling that this could pretty easily condensed down to a single not especially long essay。 Especially after you remove the first two chapters （1/3rd of the book） which are hoo-haw brain science stuff。The back of the book has a "refrigerator sheet" that summarizes the book's advice and can be printed out and hung on your refrigerator to help remind you of the principles。 For a lot of the stuff， I'm not really sure you need to book's much longer， wordier explanations to figure things out。For instance， the refrigerator sheet has "Stop talking and listen: When your child’s emotions are exploding， don’t explain， lecture， or try to talk her out of her feelings。 Just listen， looking for the meaning and emotions your child is communicating。" In the book this takes up an entire page with more detail and explanation but。。。。you get the point without all that， right？ Now repeat that for every single other bullet point in the refrigerator sheet。So it's hard not to feel like most people can just read that refrigerator sheet in 5 minutes and get 80% of the value of the book。“What’s going on？” “Can you help me understand？” “I can’t figure this out。” These can be powerful phrases when we’re teaching our kids。 。。。more
Liya
，
Awesome parenting book。 Just finished it today and already helped me to prevent two meltdowns。 Turned one situation into a fun connection with my child， and the other where she ended up corrected her own actions and being proud of herself。 Of course， not a magic wand but definitely feel equipped with more tools。
Abby Chandos
，
I really appreciated the concrete advice and examples this book provided， taking the conversation from theoretical to practical。
Jay
，
Exceptional bookWish I had this book when my children were small Sorry kids 😘
Eric
，
A great read about better approaches to “discipline” kids。 The root of the word discipline is to teach， so it revolves around first connecting with the emotional child （touch/eye level）， validating feelings， then concisely teaching the lesson you want to convey if possible。 I also liked the HALT （hungry， angry， lonely， tired） rule of thumb to help remember that they’re not being “bad” most of the time， because it’s so important to control your emotions first。 It’s also important to establish tha A great read about better approaches to “discipline” kids。 The root of the word discipline is to teach， so it revolves around first connecting with the emotional child （touch/eye level）， validating feelings， then concisely teaching the lesson you want to convey if possible。 I also liked the HALT （hungry， angry， lonely， tired） rule of thumb to help remember that they’re not being “bad” most of the time， because it’s so important to control your emotions first。 It’s also important to establish that the foundation of love is unbreakable， and to repair when I slip up in staying calm。 Another valuable nugget was about turning down the “shark music” when stressed， in other words seeing a scene with shark music versus spa music。 Lots and lots of knowledge in this book， although it could’ve been streamlined to highlight the TOP takeaways and I could’ve done without the detailed checklists by topic。 Still 5 stars 。。。more
Kelly Johnson
，
New Favorite Parenting Book。 Brain science ✅ Healthy， lasting relationships with kids ✅ My #1 recommended parenting book （so far）
Anna Bliss
，
4。5 stars
Laura Harness
，
Definitely some helpful tips in here for how to tackle discipline/addressing your child’s real needs in a meltdown。 Was a bit lengthy for a mom just looking for the answers :） And I almost wish it had been divided into different stages？ Toddler， adolescent， teen， etc？ Loud of good content but much of it is not yet relevant to my stage of life。 Recommend listening on audiobook for some of the above reasons！
Ryceejo
，
Definitely my favorite parenting book to date！ Have already made some changes in my approach and it has helped so much。 Connect， then redirect。 Engage the upstairs part of the child’s brain。
Danielle
，
Only got halfway through。。 very similar to their book， The Power of Showing up
Hannah Hensley
，
Wow wow wow。 I had already learning a lot of the “ways” from parenting social media accounts， but the connection between the how & the why really changed everything for me。 Going to look for some kind of companion guide to go with it with it。 Looks like Whole Brain Child isn’t available on audio but may be getting re-released， looking forward to it if I don’t get around to it before then！ I wish this was compulsory parenthood education， what a change we could make。
Christina
，
Some helpful insight， but reading the last 50 to 75 pages would’ve summarized what sometimes felt redundant throughout the majority of the book。 The varied examples are appreciated。
Lauren
，
Lots of background and clinical stuff before they eventually get to some vaguely helpful suggestions。 Not awful as far as parenting books go。
Leah
，
Excellent book。 The only reason I didn’t give it 5 stars is that I reserve that rating for books that truly transform me。 This book was just great though。 Practical， evidence based， immediately helpful。I actually didn’t finish it but I felt like I got what I needed from it for now， and will come back to it as needed。
Molly
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I loved the whole brain approach described in this book。 I’ll be able to use these ideas for my own kids （3， 6） and my HS students。
Holly Beacher
，