Please Yourself: How to Stop People-Pleasing and Transform the Way You Live
- Downloads：3388
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2022-03-02 06:52:08
- Update Date：2025-09-07
- Status：finish
- Author：Emma Reed Turrell
- ISBN：0008409412
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
We are all people-pleasers in one way or another – even those who deny it。
Whether at work， home or in our relationships， we all know how it feels to want people to like us。 The problem comes when we give up our own needs along the way。
In this life-changing book， psychotherapist Emma Reed Turrell explains the different ‘types’ of people-pleaser and provides practical， reassuring advice on how to better understand – and stop – people-pleasing behaviour when it starts to affect your own needs。
Please Yourself will help you care for others in the right way – and ultimately， help you take better care of yourself。
Whether at work， home or in our relationships， we all know how it feels to want people to like us。 The problem comes when we give up our own needs along the way。
In this life-changing book， psychotherapist Emma Reed Turrell explains the different ‘types’ of people-pleaser and provides practical， reassuring advice on how to better understand – and stop – people-pleasing behaviour when it starts to affect your own needs。
Please Yourself will help you care for others in the right way – and ultimately， help you take better care of yourself。
Reviews
atiqah
，
turns out im not a people pleaser so
Purvi Smart
，
Life changingExcellent book， refreshing and informative from every angle。 No judgement just information to take on board if you want。 I will view myself and others with more empathy after reading this
Bárbara Reis
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Como uma grande fã de categorizações， adorei as que Emma fez para falar de people pleasing。 Foram muito esclarecedoras e me fizeram encarar e reconhecer questões minhas que eu tinha normalizado， e a olhar comportamentos opostos aos meus （e que têm a mesma raiz） com mais compaixão。Só achei que o livro se perde um pouco quando começa a dedicar capítulos ao people pleasing em determinados cenários。 Os capítulos sobre gênero me incomodaram um pouco， em particular o sobre masculinidade， porque achei Como uma grande fã de categorizações， adorei as que Emma fez para falar de people pleasing。 Foram muito esclarecedoras e me fizeram encarar e reconhecer questões minhas que eu tinha normalizado， e a olhar comportamentos opostos aos meus （e que têm a mesma raiz） com mais compaixão。Só achei que o livro se perde um pouco quando começa a dedicar capítulos ao people pleasing em determinados cenários。 Os capítulos sobre gênero me incomodaram um pouco， em particular o sobre masculinidade， porque achei que a autora faz algumas equivalências muito exageradas e deterministas， ainda que ela explore situações interessantes de ex pacientes。 Sinto que essa parte do livro seria melhor sem essas separações。 。。。more
Holly
，
3。5 stars
Kamila
，
Była mi bardzo potrzebna i z pewnością będę do niej wracać。 Brakowało mi nieco konkretniejszych wskazówek， jak np。 radzić sobie z zadowalaczem opornikiem， ale mimo wszystko obudziła we mnie chęć zmian i dała spojrzenie na pewne aspekty， z których wcześniej nie zdawałam sobie sprawy。 No i porusza też sporo tematów， których się w niej nie spodziewałam， a są bardzo istotne。 Daj edo myślenia :） Polecam！
Ros
，
I enjoyed the start with the definitions of different people-pleasing characteristics。 This sparked lots of discussion and thought。
Urvashi Chodhary
，
Overall this book is good。 The stories of people were a good way of explaining the various situations that people pleasers find themselves in。 It deals with a range of pleasers eg; parent pleasers， friend pleasers， the Christmas pleasers to the wedding pleasers。 The book started out good。 I felt that I was assimilating more info in the beginning。 The mid section became a little too long。 The ending was good。 Really explained how the author tries to help pleasers and how they can shift their mind Overall this book is good。 The stories of people were a good way of explaining the various situations that people pleasers find themselves in。 It deals with a range of pleasers eg; parent pleasers， friend pleasers， the Christmas pleasers to the wedding pleasers。 The book started out good。 I felt that I was assimilating more info in the beginning。 The mid section became a little too long。 The ending was good。 Really explained how the author tries to help pleasers and how they can shift their mindset and acknowledge their own feelings。One tiny thing that I did not particularly like in this book was the writing style。 I won’t say it’s complicated per say， but a lot of the sentences were really long and I found myself loosing track…But it is definitely a 4 star worthy book。 。。。more
Charlotte Fox
，
A solid 3。5。 Even if one skips the chapters that don’t resonate or aren’t relevant， this is worth exploring if you’re a people pleaser like me。 Will it completely change your life or transform the way you live， as the front cover hawks？ Maybe not。 Though， the increased self-awareness and curiosity this book provided me was indeed worth it。
Zaczytana_olcia
，
Generalnie niezbyt się lubię z takimi poradnikowymi， coachowymi książkami。 Dla mnie zazwyczaj to farmazony， które niewiele potrafią wnieść do życia， bo przecież każdy jest inny。 To， że Tobie pasuje jakiś sposób na uporanie się z chęcią przypodobania się innym， nie znaczy， że ten sposób odpowie mi bądź komukolwiek innemu。 Jednak z czystą przyjemnością przeczytałam książkę Emmy Reed Turnell “Po pierwsze ja”。 Robotę robi tutaj prosty język。 Zanim sięgnęłam po książkę， obawiałam się zbyt fachowego n Generalnie niezbyt się lubię z takimi poradnikowymi， coachowymi książkami。 Dla mnie zazwyczaj to farmazony， które niewiele potrafią wnieść do życia， bo przecież każdy jest inny。 To， że Tobie pasuje jakiś sposób na uporanie się z chęcią przypodobania się innym， nie znaczy， że ten sposób odpowie mi bądź komukolwiek innemu。 Jednak z czystą przyjemnością przeczytałam książkę Emmy Reed Turnell “Po pierwsze ja”。 Robotę robi tutaj prosty język。 Zanim sięgnęłam po książkę， obawiałam się zbyt fachowego nazewnictwa， które spowodowałoby， że przy lekturze czułabym się jak na jakimś wykładzie z psychologii。 Na całe szczęście Autorka uniknęła tego i stworzyła poradnik napisany w sposób przystępny i lekki dla czytelnika。 Autorka uświadamia czytelnikowi， że trzeba postawić na siebie。 Nie na innych。 Dzięki prawdziwym przykładom- takim z życia wziętym - pokazuje， że naprawdę jest to możliwe。 Nie tworzy ona sytuacji z kosmosu， których 99% ludności nigdy nie doświadczy。 Przeciwnie， wskazuje codzienne sytuacje， które rodzić mogą w nas poczucie， że musimy się komuś przypodobać。 A no właśnie nie - nic nie musimy。 [współpraca: @wydawnictwomuza] 。。。more
Lucy Olivia
，
This book was a real eye opener。 For anyone who has people pleasing tendencies， or grew up with one or spends time with one now， this book is a must read。 I found the parts about the manipulative nature of people pleasers fascinating and had never considered that those who aim to please expect to be pleased themselves and manipulate to get it。 If you know a people pleaser and want to understand them， or， if you are one， READ THIS BOOK。 5 Big stars*
CA
，
InterestingNot all the chapters were relevant to me so I skipped those。 I found the information shared enlightening and thought provoking。 The style of writing was easy to read。
Kathy
，
Here's a time saver for you: everything you can glean from this book can be done by reading the title。 Here's a time saver for you: everything you can glean from this book can be done by reading the title。 。。。more
Bianca
，
Really well written， particularly the insight through case studies。 Made me think alot。
Sabina-Nicoleta Furtună （Sally）
，
Some basic psychological observations， some case studies and some obvious tips on how to stop being a people-pleaser。 Enjoyed the light style in which it was written but did not feel any improvement of my life after reading it。
Mary
，
Really interesting
Nora
，
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 good insights， a bit superficial。 still good thought （worst people pleaser sind die bei denen man es nicht direkt erkennt weil sie nach aussen hin nicht people pleasen）
Siqahiqa
，
"Pleasing yourself means treating yourself at least as well as you treat everyone else。"People-please is the person who always put others first。 They fear being judged for being thoughtful and find it easier to say yes than explain why not。 In the beginning， the author introduced us to the four types of people-pleasers （the four pleasing profiles）。 From this point， the author divided the chapters based on the relationships and went deeper about the situation that raises people to become people-p "Pleasing yourself means treating yourself at least as well as you treat everyone else。"People-please is the person who always put others first。 They fear being judged for being thoughtful and find it easier to say yes than explain why not。 In the beginning， the author introduced us to the four types of people-pleasers （the four pleasing profiles）。 From this point， the author divided the chapters based on the relationships and went deeper about the situation that raises people to become people-pleaser。 The case studies are reasonable and will help you identify your habits around people and set boundaries with them。 I definitely can see myself at some points in this book。The writing style is not always easy to follow。 I need to re-read a few times to process the content。 Furthermore， long paragraphs dominate this book， making me quite tired by just looking at it。 I read this book slowly and not more than 15 pages at each session。Based on this book， I can say that child development is significant。 Even though the author explains the situation in other pleasing chapters unrelated to parents/family， the root cause of the subjects' behavior is still coming from parents/family。My takeaways from this book are:🔖 Making yourself a priority – just because you can do it doesn't mean you should。🔖 Be honest about what you want and account for the consequences of your options。🔖 Be yourself; you might as well be criticized for who you are rather than who you're not。🔖 It's typically not what is said but what is not said that causes problems in relationships。🔖 Don't make the mistake of comparing your inside to everybody else's outside。🔖 We must understand why we want it， not just knowing what we want。🔖 If you say no and someone is disappointed， or something fails， it doesn't mean you should have said yes， and it also doesn't tell you a bad person。🔖 We must allow ourselves to reflect when something goes wrong or right。To conclude， we can be a people-pleaser， but please do not sacrifice ourselves in the process。 We must respect our own feeling and what makes us happy。 This book will teach you to be you by caring for others by not neglecting yourself， and acknowledging your own needs。 It is an eye-opener book; only I think it's more on examples based on case studies and not enough applied suggestions。 Thank you Miss Putri and Times Reads for sending me a copy of this book in return for an honest review ✨ 。。。more
Kat
，
Definitely recognised myself in this self help book。 Not always an easy read/process to go through。 Glad I had bought a copy as it is now liberally highlighted in order to review/reread at a later date。
Lauren
，
Uncomfortable but enlightening！
Lucy Noble
，
A must read for most people！ Really readable and thought provoking - and importantly easy to （try） and apply in real life。
Rita
，
RIASSUNTO IN TRE FRASI2，5 stelline， ma arrotondo a 3 per la validità del messaggio che la Turrell vuole trasmettere con questo suo libro。 Esplorato veramente in ogni sua diramazione， il tratto dell'iperdisponibilità viene analizzato proponendo una molteplicità di casi clinici potenzialmente interessanti， ma a mio parere in maniera poco attenta alle singole personalità dei pazienti。 In altre parole， li ho percepiti come se fossero parte di un unico calderone， facendo fatica a rapportare le esperi RIASSUNTO IN TRE FRASI2，5 stelline， ma arrotondo a 3 per la validità del messaggio che la Turrell vuole trasmettere con questo suo libro。 Esplorato veramente in ogni sua diramazione， il tratto dell'iperdisponibilità viene analizzato proponendo una molteplicità di casi clinici potenzialmente interessanti， ma a mio parere in maniera poco attenta alle singole personalità dei pazienti。 In altre parole， li ho percepiti come se fossero parte di un unico calderone， facendo fatica a rapportare le esperienze individuali al tipo di iperdisponibilità analizzata in quel determinato frangente。Non meraviglia， allora， che abbia trovato la lettura alquanto ripetitiva， nonché a tratti noiosa。 In definitiva， il nucleo di quest'opera potrebbe essere riassunto in sole tre frasi:"Sentirsi necessari è come sentirsi amati。 Lo facciamo perché abbiamo paura di perdere le persone， eppure perdiamo noi stessi nell'inutile tentativo di renderle felici。""A volte dovete rinunciare alle persone， non perché a voi non importa， ma perché non importa a loro。 In questo caso [。。。] non state perdendo un amico， ma solo capendo di non averne mai avuto uno。""Se proviamo ad attirare le persone con quello che siamo veramente， senza nessuna facciata， potremmo anche scoprire che riceviamo meno visite alla nostra porta， ma che quelli che bussano saranno quelli giusti。" 。。。more
Victoria Austen
，
Eye opener but not enough practical suggestions。 Just a bunch of examples。 I Need More！
Tom Pratt
，
I listened to the audiobook version via Audible。 As a self identified people pleaser， I thought this was a great book。 It’s read by the author and packed full of great concepts， delivered in an easy to understand way。 I’ll need to re-listen to this a few times for things to sink in and there are some useful exercises to work through。
Alex Sinclair
，
A fantastic look into how we function as humans。 I can highly recommend， regardless of whether you're a people pleaser or not！ A fantastic look into how we function as humans。 I can highly recommend， regardless of whether you're a people pleaser or not！ 。。。more
Laura
，
This is an interesting book on the different forms of people pleasing。 The case studies are fascinating and help to illustrate the different types of behaviour。 This book provided me fuel for thought and definitely some insight into what motivates us and where those root behaviours come from。
Houda
，
Great insightful book
Gosia
，
It should be a mandatory book for everyone who struggles with anxiety。
Clara Rands
，
Listened to the audio book - struggled to stay engaged
Sabina
，
Please yourself - aka what would I want to do in the circumstancePeople pleasing is about controlling other people’s reactions， not necessarily in a manipulative way but a way that you know how they’ll reactPleasing yourself is about acknowledging your own needs/wantsCase studies are good。Good for recognising traits in other people as well as yourselfThe way people act is the way theyve subconsciously been raised/conditionedIt’s about getting a grasp on your own feelings， what makes you happy
M
，