Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again
- Downloads：2078
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2021-03-27 11:17:58
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Lysa TerKeurst
- ISBN：0718039874
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
*#1 New York Times Bestseller*
You deserve to stop suffering because of what other people have done to you。
Have you ever felt stuck in a cycle of unresolved pain， playing offenses over and over in your mind？ You know you can't go on like this， but you don't know what to do next。 Lysa TerKeurst has wrestled through this journey。 But in surprising ways， she’s discovered how to let go of bound-up resentment and overcome the resistance to forgiving people who aren’t willing to make things right。
With deep empathy， therapeutic insight， and rich Bible teaching coming out of more than 1，000 hours of theological study， Lysa will help you:
Learn how to move on when the other person refuses to change and never says they're sorry。
Walk through a step-by-step process to free yourself from the hurt of your past and feel less offended today。
Discover what the Bible really says about forgiveness and the peace that comes from living it out right now。
Identify what's stealing trust and vulnerability from your relationships so you can believe there is still good ahead。
Disempower the triggers hijacking your emotions by embracing the two necessary parts of forgiveness。
You deserve to stop suffering because of what other people have done to you。
Have you ever felt stuck in a cycle of unresolved pain， playing offenses over and over in your mind？ You know you can't go on like this， but you don't know what to do next。 Lysa TerKeurst has wrestled through this journey。 But in surprising ways， she’s discovered how to let go of bound-up resentment and overcome the resistance to forgiving people who aren’t willing to make things right。
With deep empathy， therapeutic insight， and rich Bible teaching coming out of more than 1，000 hours of theological study， Lysa will help you:
Learn how to move on when the other person refuses to change and never says they're sorry。
Walk through a step-by-step process to free yourself from the hurt of your past and feel less offended today。
Discover what the Bible really says about forgiveness and the peace that comes from living it out right now。
Identify what's stealing trust and vulnerability from your relationships so you can believe there is still good ahead。
Disempower the triggers hijacking your emotions by embracing the two necessary parts of forgiveness。
Reviews
Theresa Dybala
，
I can personally say when I choose forgiveness I am choosing to be in a place of peace and serenity。 It's so incredibly freeing to forgive。 It's something I've only learned and really put into practice later in life。 I was recently introduced to this book and wish it was around years ago。 I can personally say when I choose forgiveness I am choosing to be in a place of peace and serenity。 It's so incredibly freeing to forgive。 It's something I've only learned and really put into practice later in life。 I was recently introduced to this book and wish it was around years ago。 。。。more
Kala Challis
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I'm not against religion， and I really wanted to read this book， and relate to the content， and perhaps even come out on the other end feeling better about situations in my life that need forgiveness。 But it was so filled with God this and God that。。。 Bible verses。。 etc。 I just couldn't continue to read it。 I'm not against religion， and I really wanted to read this book， and relate to the content， and perhaps even come out on the other end feeling better about situations in my life that need forgiveness。 But it was so filled with God this and God that。。。 Bible verses。。 etc。 I just couldn't continue to read it。 。。。more
Sophia Payne
，
I’m going to preface this review with the fact that I’ve been in counseling for 1。5 years now。 There are deep wounds from very specific people that I’ve struggled with for nearly a decade。 I have healed from them in the last year through a ton of hard work。 I listened to this book and struggled to focus as it either drug me back to a place I’ve moved on from， or it would give tips and tricks I didn’t really need。 If I had read it at the beginning of my journey to healing， it would’ve given me th I’m going to preface this review with the fact that I’ve been in counseling for 1。5 years now。 There are deep wounds from very specific people that I’ve struggled with for nearly a decade。 I have healed from them in the last year through a ton of hard work。 I listened to this book and struggled to focus as it either drug me back to a place I’ve moved on from， or it would give tips and tricks I didn’t really need。 If I had read it at the beginning of my journey to healing， it would’ve given me the hope I needed。 But I also wonder if it would’ve made me think listening to the book was sufficient and I could just be good after that？ I wish these books didn’t just talk about a few things to do to be okay again or that the author tried and then move on。 I wish they dove deep into the mental health needs that these situations cause。 Counseling is briefly touched on in the author’s personal experience。 But anyone going through something worthy of reading this book needs to be going to counseling。 Deep， intimate friendships were briefly discussed in this book。 But anyone who is aching from deep wounds needs to be told that their need for deep friendships is vital for them to make it。 I don’t not recommend this book。 Lysa goes to some hard places and doesn’t back down。 She speaks good， biblical truth。 And for someone who was told “just forgive and move on” approximately 100 times。。。。it’s a needed thing to have someone call that crap and speak truth instead。 So， if you struggle with the day to day aspects of forgiveness of big things。 If you’ve been hurt deeply by someone or in multiple ways。 If you feel emotionally lost and like you can’t find your way。。。。then maybe consider this book。 But please do not only read this book。 Let it be the catalyst in you seeking help to work through the aches and pains of whatever hurt you’ve experienced。 。。。more
Sahar Massad
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Majority of the time， we focus on what hardships take from us。 And yes they absolutely do take things from us and that should never be belittled but there is also so much that we gain- so many ways that we grow and mature。 I wouldn’t trade all that I’ve walked through for all that I’ve gained but none of that is possible/worth it without the Lord。 I read Lysa’s book， “It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way” last year in one of my lowest times。 I loved reading Forgiving What You Cant’t Forget coming ou Majority of the time， we focus on what hardships take from us。 And yes they absolutely do take things from us and that should never be belittled but there is also so much that we gain- so many ways that we grow and mature。 I wouldn’t trade all that I’ve walked through for all that I’ve gained but none of that is possible/worth it without the Lord。 I read Lysa’s book， “It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way” last year in one of my lowest times。 I loved reading Forgiving What You Cant’t Forget coming out of that season of loss and so much pain。 Being on the other side is a beautiful thing。 The Lord doesn’t waste a thing and this book points you back to that humbling truth all through out！ Def would recommend both books！ 。。。more
Karin
，
This book took a while to read because it's hard to read -- not that the writing is difficult or confusing， but the content takes time to process （and sometimes re-read）。I picked up this book after several weeks of having it pop up in conversation， online， and during my daily God time。 I took the hint and bought the book。 I didn't really think I have much unforgiveness in my life， but I was willing to read this anyway。I was sort of right -- I'd worked through part of my forgiveness issues， but t This book took a while to read because it's hard to read -- not that the writing is difficult or confusing， but the content takes time to process （and sometimes re-read）。I picked up this book after several weeks of having it pop up in conversation， online， and during my daily God time。 I took the hint and bought the book。 I didn't really think I have much unforgiveness in my life， but I was willing to read this anyway。I was sort of right -- I'd worked through part of my forgiveness issues， but the more I read， the more I realized how influenced I am by so many buried hurts and unaddressed issues。 My experiences are nothing as extreme as TerKeurst's， but I could still see how I wasn't believing God because of some wrong perceptions I discovered while reading this book。 I can already think of a dozen people I'd like to give this book to in hopes that they could see some still-sore areas of hurt in their lives， but I'm not sure it's such a good idea to encourage people to dig up pain if they aren't ready to deal with it yet。 I was in a place where I needed to read this， and I'm glad I did。 I will prayerfully consider sending it to anyone else， as I wouldn't want them to rehash their past if they aren't ready to do the work of forgiveness （because I realize now that it can take a while）。What I especially like about this book is that TerKeurst wrote it after years of counseling and biblical study。 This isn't her intepretation or experience -- it's based on successful coping methods she learned in therapy as well as spiritual guidance from her ministry's Bible scholar。 She bases everything in Scripture， so you know it will apply to all situations， not just hers。I highly recommend this book to pretty much everyone， but I would also highly recommend that you not pick it up until the Lord leads you to。 。。。more
Roxy Huxley
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Put this book down out of boredom。。non of it really stuck with me and i can’t remember what it’s about。
Robbin
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I read this along with a friend and I cannot say enough good things about it。 One thing about Lysa's writing is her ability to help the reader self-reflect。 Her writing always helps me discover things I didn't or couldn't recognize about myself。 I cannot recommend her books enough。 I read this along with a friend and I cannot say enough good things about it。 One thing about Lysa's writing is her ability to help the reader self-reflect。 Her writing always helps me discover things I didn't or couldn't recognize about myself。 I cannot recommend her books enough。 。。。more
Lydia
，
Lysa put into words everything i’ve been feeling the past few years。 Reading this book was a HUGE step for me toward healing from past hurts。 Highly recommend！
Kya Howe
，
Everyone needs to read this book。 It has absolutely humbled me in my healing process。 It has changed the way I view Jesus' forgiveness and his tender expectations toward my forgiveness。 Read this ASAP。 Everyone needs to read this book。 It has absolutely humbled me in my healing process。 It has changed the way I view Jesus' forgiveness and his tender expectations toward my forgiveness。 Read this ASAP。 。。。more
Angela
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Didn’t finish。
Adella Lopez
，
Very good and helpful！
Tara Sydney
，
This is one of those books that reminds me of the true deep-seeded goodness of God。 And how what is laid out in the Bible and conveyed by Jesus is possible to live out in actuality。 This book takes you on a journey through acknowledging what has been done to you and how it has affected you， what forgiveness truly means， the things that often stand in the way of forgiveness in our lives， and the practical and spiritual steps you can take in the journey of forgiving。 Though it does emphasize that This is one of those books that reminds me of the true deep-seeded goodness of God。 And how what is laid out in the Bible and conveyed by Jesus is possible to live out in actuality。 This book takes you on a journey through acknowledging what has been done to you and how it has affected you， what forgiveness truly means， the things that often stand in the way of forgiveness in our lives， and the practical and spiritual steps you can take in the journey of forgiving。 Though it does emphasize that the contents of the book are just part of the process and that more help is often needed in hard circumstances that require forgiveness。 It was well-balanced between being conversational and practical， which I find sets the tone for me to pay attention to what the author is saying。 The words were genuine and real， while being thoughtful， spiritual， and Biblically sound。 Overall， this was a deeply helpful book for me to work my way through， and I would highly recommend it to further understand the depth of forgiveness and what it means for our lives。 。。。more
Jessica
，
As usual Lysa TerKeurst puts beautiful words to our pain and gives hope to our healing yet again in this book。 In fact， her story and her writing captivated me so much that I flew through the book。 I didn't realize until the second to last chapter that I hadn't highlighted or bookmarked or taken notes。 I will have to revisit so many portions of this book。 I just kept a constant rally cry of， "Yes， that's me" "That's exactly how it feels" and "Thank God there is hope in this pain。" As usual Lysa TerKeurst puts beautiful words to our pain and gives hope to our healing yet again in this book。 In fact， her story and her writing captivated me so much that I flew through the book。 I didn't realize until the second to last chapter that I hadn't highlighted or bookmarked or taken notes。 I will have to revisit so many portions of this book。 I just kept a constant rally cry of， "Yes， that's me" "That's exactly how it feels" and "Thank God there is hope in this pain。" 。。。more
Tina
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Many people have experienced pain from loss or wrongs done to them so this is a book many will find helpful。 Forgiveness is the key。
Tracy Bieger
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"I am a soul who likes the concept of forgiveness。。。。。until I am a hurting one who doesn't。 I want blessings for those who follow the rules of life and love， and I want correction for those who break them。" A complicated review。 I'll start with this: YOU WILL NOT LIKE THIS BOOK IF: you are someone who is not bothered at all by past hurts; you forgive very easily; you have never really been wronged by anyone; you're a person who feels that people who are hurt should just "get over it and move on" "I am a soul who likes the concept of forgiveness。。。。。until I am a hurting one who doesn't。 I want blessings for those who follow the rules of life and love， and I want correction for those who break them。" A complicated review。 I'll start with this: YOU WILL NOT LIKE THIS BOOK IF: you are someone who is not bothered at all by past hurts; you forgive very easily; you have never really been wronged by anyone; you're a person who feels that people who are hurt should just "get over it and move on"; you are not willing OR ready to be open to forgiveness; you are not a Christian person。 If you are any of those things， it is NOT for you and then you'll write a negative review because you are upset about it being "too Christian" or that you felt the author "had personal issues"。 Yes， Lysa has some personal issues， including the very public infidelity in her marriage。 But in going through what she has endured， she helps the rest of us who are in need of healing from past hurts as well and this book will help you if you are open to it。 She does not in the least tell you that you will forget， or that you even NEED to forget what happened to you。 She doesn't even hint that reconciliation with whomever harmed you is required or that it's even necessary to involve or speak with them。 She tells us that some days will feel great， but then some little thing will happen to trigger feelings all over again， and that's okay， that's HUMAN。 She teaches that "Forgiveness often feels like one of the most maddening instructions from the Lord。" And she also teaches us that we can take our need for seeing the people who hurt us pay consequences， and give that over to God。 Entrust God with the outcome。 She has a LOT of scripture and uses some great stories from the Bible to help us see things from a different perspective。 One message coming through loud and clear， let us give forgiveness as freely as it is given to us。 。。。more
Kalyn
，
When you feel hurt and betrayed by someone， forgiveness is not the first action that comes to mind。 But Lysa approaches this topic in such a beautiful and delicate way。 She doesn't cram forgiveness down your throat。 She guides you towards forgiveness on your own， each chapter lighting the way out of a deep， dark tunnel—a tunnel she knows all too well， as evidenced by her painful past。 This book is not for everyone。 It's not a Bible study on forgiveness， although she does share verses to provide When you feel hurt and betrayed by someone， forgiveness is not the first action that comes to mind。 But Lysa approaches this topic in such a beautiful and delicate way。 She doesn't cram forgiveness down your throat。 She guides you towards forgiveness on your own， each chapter lighting the way out of a deep， dark tunnel—a tunnel she knows all too well， as evidenced by her painful past。 This book is not for everyone。 It's not a Bible study on forgiveness， although she does share verses to provide context。 Rather， Forgiving What You Can't Forget is a handbook to follow when you're suffering because of what other people have done to you。 If you crave genuine， long-lasting peace， you won't regret this read。 And you'll find forgiveness is one of the most healing decisions you can make。 Favorite Quote: Forgiveness is a decision AND a process。 。。。more
Carol Martin
，
The challenge & work of forgiving deep hurts Very well written book about really learning from our deepest hurts how to really forgive as followers of Christ。 Honest & forthright in identifying the hurts， our human tendencies， our need to gain new perspectives to release those who have hurt us or for us to make amends to those we have hurt。 Excellent advice to challenge us to "let go" of hurt， in healthy & appropriate ways in all kinds of circumstances。 The challenge & work of forgiving deep hurts Very well written book about really learning from our deepest hurts how to really forgive as followers of Christ。 Honest & forthright in identifying the hurts， our human tendencies， our need to gain new perspectives to release those who have hurt us or for us to make amends to those we have hurt。 Excellent advice to challenge us to "let go" of hurt， in healthy & appropriate ways in all kinds of circumstances。 。。。more
Kayla Fukuda
，
Great book！ While it reads more like a memoir， the content and teachings were accurate and helpful。 The takeaway is that forgiveness can be applied to our everyday life and when we close our hearts to forgiveness， it affects to our core。
Jessica Keene
，
A great resource for future referencing。 It has tons of tips and answers to some of life’s most dreadful questions。
Michelle Summerville
，
What a powerful book on forgiveness。 It's not always easy forgiving the ones who have hurt you。 Lysa TerKeurst narrates her story on the painful journey of forgiving her husband and others who've betrayed her in worst way。 5 stars！！！ What a powerful book on forgiveness。 It's not always easy forgiving the ones who have hurt you。 Lysa TerKeurst narrates her story on the painful journey of forgiving her husband and others who've betrayed her in worst way。 5 stars！！！ 。。。more
Mindy Lewis
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Enjoyed this one！ Highly recommend！
Mary Myers
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Such wisdom。 And a good point that forgiveness doesn’t require repentance from the wounding party。 But reconciliation does。
Nicole Anderson
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2。5 Stars I expected more from this book。 It really seemed more like the authors private journal or memoir and not a book to help others。 Very heavy on the religious aspect also
Alicia
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3。5 stars。 No matter what side of the fence you are on in any situation， I think you can take something from this book。 I liked that the author added some bits about her personal struggles。
Heidi
，
This is well-written and a resource I'm sure I'll refer to multiple times。 It's deeply emotional and sometimes difficult to read。 I really appreciated the author's vulnerability。 She shared her own experiences and struggles with forgiving those who had hurt her， and offered practical insight for moving forward within the context of Biblical principles。 This is well-written and a resource I'm sure I'll refer to multiple times。 It's deeply emotional and sometimes difficult to read。 I really appreciated the author's vulnerability。 She shared her own experiences and struggles with forgiving those who had hurt her， and offered practical insight for moving forward within the context of Biblical principles。 。。。more
Mary
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Good book。 Forgiving is a decision， and then a process。 Learned a lot from the book。
Kristen
，
very memoir-esqueI have conflicted feelings over Lysa's biblical teachings due to her being at Elevation Church which promotes the prosperity gospel。。。 and also her promoting us to 'tune' into God's voice to hear it。 Idk man very memoir-esqueI have conflicted feelings over Lysa's biblical teachings due to her being at Elevation Church which promotes the prosperity gospel。。。 and also her promoting us to 'tune' into God's voice to hear it。 Idk man 。。。more
Chandra Boulden
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Love this book， she very slowly and gracefully explains what forgiveness is and how we all need to both give it and need it。 We have all been hurt and then hurt others。 When we become aware of our actions and how they hurt others to stop the cycle that is progress。 We need to give it and not just receive it。
Megan Caillouet
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3。5/4 stars。 Lysa’s books are always pretty heavy， but contain an incredible amount of insight。 I truly learned a lot while reading this book。
Ashley Bower
，