Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World
- Downloads：9314
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2022-02-23 10:51:37
- Update Date：2025-09-07
- Status：finish
- Author：Jennie Allen
- ISBN：0593193385
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
- Download
Summary
The New York Times bestselling author of Get Out of Your Head offers practical solutions for creating true community， the kind that's crucial to our mental and spiritual health。
"My dear friend Jennie Allen shows us how to make true emotional connections with the right people so that our authentic relationships can be healthy for all。"--Lysa TerKeurst， author of It's Not Supposed to Be This Way
In a world that's both more connected and more isolating than ever before， we're often tempted to do life alone， whether because we're so busy or because relationships feel risky and hard。 But science confirms that consistent， meaningful connection with others has a powerful impact on our well-being。 We are meant to live known and loved。 But so many are hiding behind emotional walls that we're experiencing an epidemic of loneliness。
In Find Your People， bestselling author Jennie Allen draws on fascinating insights from science and history， timeless biblical truth， and vulnerable stories from her own life to help you:
- overcome the barriers to making new friends and learn to initiate with easy-to-follow steps
- find simple ways to press through awkward to get to authentic in conversations
- understand how conflict can strengthen relationships rather than destroy them
- identify the type of friend you are and the types of friends you need
- learn the five practical ingredients you need to have the type of friends you've always longed for
You were created to play， engage， adventure， and explore--with others。 In Find Your People， you'll discover exactly how to dive into the deep end and experience the full wonder of community。 Because while the ache of loneliness is real， it doesn't have to be your reality。
"My dear friend Jennie Allen shows us how to make true emotional connections with the right people so that our authentic relationships can be healthy for all。"--Lysa TerKeurst， author of It's Not Supposed to Be This Way
In a world that's both more connected and more isolating than ever before， we're often tempted to do life alone， whether because we're so busy or because relationships feel risky and hard。 But science confirms that consistent， meaningful connection with others has a powerful impact on our well-being。 We are meant to live known and loved。 But so many are hiding behind emotional walls that we're experiencing an epidemic of loneliness。
In Find Your People， bestselling author Jennie Allen draws on fascinating insights from science and history， timeless biblical truth， and vulnerable stories from her own life to help you:
- overcome the barriers to making new friends and learn to initiate with easy-to-follow steps
- find simple ways to press through awkward to get to authentic in conversations
- understand how conflict can strengthen relationships rather than destroy them
- identify the type of friend you are and the types of friends you need
- learn the five practical ingredients you need to have the type of friends you've always longed for
You were created to play， engage， adventure， and explore--with others。 In Find Your People， you'll discover exactly how to dive into the deep end and experience the full wonder of community。 Because while the ache of loneliness is real， it doesn't have to be your reality。
Reviews
Claudia
，
Jennie Allen carefully lays out the rationale explaining why it is that we all crave community， even those， like me， who are introverts。 She also makes a case for how a lack of community negatively impacts us。 Rather than leaving readers to wonder how to go about meeting this need， Allen provides practical methods for doing so。 She is very open with sharing her own struggles in creating and maintaining community relationships。 I requested an advanced reader copy of this book as it seemed to link Jennie Allen carefully lays out the rationale explaining why it is that we all crave community， even those， like me， who are introverts。 She also makes a case for how a lack of community negatively impacts us。 Rather than leaving readers to wonder how to go about meeting this need， Allen provides practical methods for doing so。 She is very open with sharing her own struggles in creating and maintaining community relationships。 I requested an advanced reader copy of this book as it seemed to link well with both personal and church congregational goals regarding reestablishing relationships on this side of the pandemic。 I found the book to align with these goals， and look forward to applying what I've read and recommending the book to others。 I am grateful to have received a complimentary copy from WaterBrook via NetGalley without obligation。 All opinions expressed here are my own。 。。。more
Amy
，
“One of the enemy’s favorite lies is the lie of shame， because the cost of shame is connection。” -Jennie AllenWe hide because of shame。 Yes。 This was my story for decades。 I am so grateful for how Jennie is willing to be naked before us， to bare her soul， so that we too can be free。 For years shame cost me connection and held me in isolation。 No more！！ Because of Find Your People and other community driven resources Jennie has created， I am now inviting others to my table the way Jennie invited “One of the enemy’s favorite lies is the lie of shame， because the cost of shame is connection。” -Jennie AllenWe hide because of shame。 Yes。 This was my story for decades。 I am so grateful for how Jennie is willing to be naked before us， to bare her soul， so that we too can be free。 For years shame cost me connection and held me in isolation。 No more！！ Because of Find Your People and other community driven resources Jennie has created， I am now inviting others to my table the way Jennie invited me and it is changing my life and the lives of other women in my community。If you are ready to fight back and kick down walls of shame this is the book for you。If you are feeling tired and weary and like you have no fight left to build and hold onto relationships this book is for you。 I truly believe it will breathe life into your soul and rekindle a passion in you for deep authentic relationships like it has done for me。We were made for community。 Let’s go Find （Y）OUR People！ 。。。more
Kyndall Forshee
，
WOW。 This book is so so so good！！！ This book came at the perfect time - my husband and I are starting a community group and this is just perfect for that。 I have loved the practical application and love the ideas/questions at the end of the chapters。 I highly recommend to anyone and everyone！！！！
Suzanne Varona
，
Words can’t vividly express the emotions， sensations and fire that permeate into your mind， heart and soul as you saturate in all the richness of every word on each page in this book。 It’s like a part two of application to Jennie’s previous book that helped one navigate through all the mental toxicity in our minds。 Through this book she delivers raw and personal awareness to the needs of us to take that leap that God intended for each of us， to seek community and fellowship with others。 She help Words can’t vividly express the emotions， sensations and fire that permeate into your mind， heart and soul as you saturate in all the richness of every word on each page in this book。 It’s like a part two of application to Jennie’s previous book that helped one navigate through all the mental toxicity in our minds。 Through this book she delivers raw and personal awareness to the needs of us to take that leap that God intended for each of us， to seek community and fellowship with others。 She helps one navigate through the mental shuffle to align our ultimate purpose here on earth to seek worship and the glory of God in the union of others！ No time is more perfect than now for all of us to step up， take courage and proclaim victory while linking hands together！ We were made for commUNITY！ Thank you so much Jennie for obediently listening to God’s words and letting him speak through you to reach so many others！ I can’t wait to share this with so many family and friends as I myself work to ‘Find （My） People。’ 。。。more
Valerie Gehrke
，
Excellent read with deep principals， bringing the reader back to our foundational created self and calling the reader out on who is in your community and providing steps to building your community。 A practice needed in our isolating and lonely world， come alongside one another to live life tighter， hold each other accountable and inevitably grow in our own walks。 Highly recommend！
Trisha Priebe
，
I’m not southern。 At。 All。 If I’m ever caught saying， “Y’all，” you can go right ahead and call 9-1-1， because something traumatic has just happened。But y’all。 This book。I forgot I was reading an advanced copy in order to review it。 I couldn't put it down。 I underlined， circled， and made notes in the margins。 I texted countless passages to my husband （who graciously read and responded to each one）。I can't think of a better book for this current cultural moment。This book is a practical roadmap for I’m not southern。 At。 All。 If I’m ever caught saying， “Y’all，” you can go right ahead and call 9-1-1， because something traumatic has just happened。But y’all。 This book。I forgot I was reading an advanced copy in order to review it。 I couldn't put it down。 I underlined， circled， and made notes in the margins。 I texted countless passages to my husband （who graciously read and responded to each one）。I can't think of a better book for this current cultural moment。This book is a practical roadmap for building authentic， meaningful， community in a world where we are dying of loneliness。 （Literally。 Loneliness is worse for our health than obesity， smoking， lack of access to health care and physical activity。）Bottom line: Friends won't fall from the sky。 Friends are always made。 To have deep， true friendships， we must initiate and nourish them 。。。 even when it's uncomfortable or impractical。If you are part of the 3 out of 5 who feels loneliness on a daily basis， 1） welcome to the club， and 2） read this book。 It could change your life just as it's changing mine。This beautiful book launches today。 Thank you， @jennieallen for tossing us this lifesaver。 。。。more
Laikyn Friesen
，
Find Your People by Jennie Allen spoke to the depths of my soul。 Community has felt a bit out of reach for me over the last couple of years， and even prior。 I’m reading this book， I realized I’ve always had a certain picture in my mind of what community looks like。 This book was so incredibly impactful for me， helping me to think outside of the box。 I’ve learned that community is all around me if I’m willing to take action and be vulnerable。 This book provides great action steps to take and is j Find Your People by Jennie Allen spoke to the depths of my soul。 Community has felt a bit out of reach for me over the last couple of years， and even prior。 I’m reading this book， I realized I’ve always had a certain picture in my mind of what community looks like。 This book was so incredibly impactful for me， helping me to think outside of the box。 I’ve learned that community is all around me if I’m willing to take action and be vulnerable。 This book provides great action steps to take and is just what all of us need who are longing for community。 Highly recommend！ 。。。more
Jenn
，
A life changing book about how we were always meant to live our life: Walking with Christ， surrounded by others who walk with us。 You won’t regret this read！！ 🥰🥰
Timothy James Scholma
，
This is a must read for everyone。 Jennie eloquently puts into words what I have been searching and longing for。 She gives the tools to go for it。 She challenges us to take the first step and stop waiting for connection to come to us。 We were created for deeper connection。 We want to be known others。 We weren't meant to do this life alone。 This is a must read for everyone。 Jennie eloquently puts into words what I have been searching and longing for。 She gives the tools to go for it。 She challenges us to take the first step and stop waiting for connection to come to us。 We were created for deeper connection。 We want to be known others。 We weren't meant to do this life alone。 。。。more
Sara
，
If you are finding yourself more lonely then ever these days， this book is for you。 Jennie shares encouragement， insightful scripture， and lots of motivation to help you move to build up your deep community of people。 She gives you great ideas for getting started even when you are at your most vulnerable/scared。 We are made to have community and be with people， not to be shutting the world out and living alone。 This world is falling and we need each other to build it back up together。 Get ready If you are finding yourself more lonely then ever these days， this book is for you。 Jennie shares encouragement， insightful scripture， and lots of motivation to help you move to build up your deep community of people。 She gives you great ideas for getting started even when you are at your most vulnerable/scared。 We are made to have community and be with people， not to be shutting the world out and living alone。 This world is falling and we need each other to build it back up together。 Get ready for a life changing book。 Highly recommend buying a few copies and sharing with your friends and neighbors。 Let's get vulnerable！ 。。。more
Meghan Ryan
，
As someone who recently moved to a new city， I struggled to replicate the community I had before I moved。 So I made some changes--I moved to a neighborhood where I had friends， I started asking for help， I was honest about how I was doing。 This book was the resource I needed to actually "find my people" and I've bought copies for everyone I know。 If you do what Jennie says， it actually works！ As someone who recently moved to a new city， I struggled to replicate the community I had before I moved。 So I made some changes--I moved to a neighborhood where I had friends， I started asking for help， I was honest about how I was doing。 This book was the resource I needed to actually "find my people" and I've bought copies for everyone I know。 If you do what Jennie says， it actually works！ 。。。more
Priscilla Castillo
，
I started reading this book thinking this was going to be a lot like a self help book that gives you steps to being a better person on top of the world。 Jennie went so much deeper than this！ She challenges the readers to really look within oneself and find roots of problems and expectations we have on people。 She encourages the reader that life is hard， people are human， and finding a community isn't a one and done， neither is it a one way conversation。 Jennie is authentic with her journey and s I started reading this book thinking this was going to be a lot like a self help book that gives you steps to being a better person on top of the world。 Jennie went so much deeper than this！ She challenges the readers to really look within oneself and find roots of problems and expectations we have on people。 She encourages the reader that life is hard， people are human， and finding a community isn't a one and done， neither is it a one way conversation。 Jennie is authentic with her journey and struggles， and helps the reader understand at it's most deepest and truest form what God intended human relationship for， and how each individual has to play their own part without pointing fingers at one another not wanting to take responsibility。 This is a MUST read for any and all women of all ages who are looking and ready for change in their life， and to stand out for Christ in a way that is so lacking in this world today。 I know I've already started to be more intentional and focused on the relationships around me instead of focusing on the relationships lost。 SO WORTH READING AND APPLYING IN YOUR LIFE！"You will never find the perfect people to do life with， because those people don't exist。 You will always be doing community with sinners。" 。。。more
Shawn Blagowsky
，
Find Your People reminds us that people were designed to live in community with others。 Jennie shares how historically humans have been part of groups that relied and shared with others。 In our modern lives in the US， we have become increasingly isolated and lonely even while in our busyness we see others all the time。 Jennie shares practical ideas and tools for finding those people to live life with， share each other’s burdens， celebrate the joys and live our best lives。 When done well， we make Find Your People reminds us that people were designed to live in community with others。 Jennie shares how historically humans have been part of groups that relied and shared with others。 In our modern lives in the US， we have become increasingly isolated and lonely even while in our busyness we see others all the time。 Jennie shares practical ideas and tools for finding those people to live life with， share each other’s burdens， celebrate the joys and live our best lives。 When done well， we make each other better！ The book has exercises that will open our eyes to those around us who can fill the void。 And if you have “your people”？ Jennie fills us in on ways to deepen those relationships and reminding us how to be intentional to keep those friendships strong in ways that will impact us and those around us positively。 。。。more
Stephanie Gann
，
I LOVED this book！ I read it b/c I loved Jennie Allen’s Get Out of Your Head， but I thought to myself “oh， I already have my people， so I don’t think I’m going to get much out of this。” WOW was I wrong！ I couldn’t put this book down。 Usually I find myself trudging through non-fiction， even if I like it， but I read this one in two days！ I loved reading about the different “types” of friends & asking my friends who I am to them （all different， btw！）。 It was just a great book。 I have already passed I LOVED this book！ I read it b/c I loved Jennie Allen’s Get Out of Your Head， but I thought to myself “oh， I already have my people， so I don’t think I’m going to get much out of this。” WOW was I wrong！ I couldn’t put this book down。 Usually I find myself trudging through non-fiction， even if I like it， but I read this one in two days！ I loved reading about the different “types” of friends & asking my friends who I am to them （all different， btw！）。 It was just a great book。 I have already passed it on to a friend & I recommended it to so many more， & I think it’ll be friendship-changing for all of us！！ I hope Jennie gets to write her “Keep Your People” sequel - I’ll be first in line to buy it！ 。。。more
Megan Edwards
，
Wow， what a timely book in the middle of my wilderness season！ I'm seriously brought to tears by God's faithfulness。 Thank you to Jennie and her entire team for releasing this book at a perfect time。 I would definitely encourage you to read this book today。 Trust me， you won’t be disappointed as you will walk away with peace， freedom， and the encouragement to live in community God’s beautiful way！ Now is the time to Find Your People！ Wow， what a timely book in the middle of my wilderness season！ I'm seriously brought to tears by God's faithfulness。 Thank you to Jennie and her entire team for releasing this book at a perfect time。 I would definitely encourage you to read this book today。 Trust me， you won’t be disappointed as you will walk away with peace， freedom， and the encouragement to live in community God’s beautiful way！ Now is the time to Find Your People！ 。。。more
Debra Schroering
，
God created us to live in community， but we are one of the first generations and countries that is not。 Loneliness has plagued our culture- especially since Covid。 This book by Jennie Allen， “Find your people，” has been a huge challenge and encouragement to me。 It has challenged me to pray about and evaluate the friendships I have。 It has encouraged me to be creative in reaching out to more authentic relationships。 I would highly recommend the book to everyone。
Adrienne Terrebonne
，
Jennie’s vulnerability on the topic of friendship is just what we all need as we climb out of our loneliness and into community。 With godly wisdom and practical advice， she guides us into deeper friendships with those around us。 A must read for every woman！
Christine Wiethop
，
Find Your People is the so needed right now。 So many of us are isolated - maybe because of the pandemic， but more so because of social media and the disconnect among people。 We do not know how to deal with conflict and do life together in community。 Life is different than for people in villages where people are committed to each other。 Jennie Allen offers insight and advice for how to find my people。 I feel seen。 I needed this book， and so many people need it！
Heidi
，
Find Your People is the perfect book for this time。 I had read Get Out of Your Head before and was looking forward to reading this book and it did not disappoint！ Jennie gives practical tips and advice on how to actually go about finding your people。 I love that she doesn’t shy away from talking about the many difficulties that could happen when we begin to invest in relationships and uses stories from her own life as well as others to show how to overcome those difficulties。 A few of my takeawa Find Your People is the perfect book for this time。 I had read Get Out of Your Head before and was looking forward to reading this book and it did not disappoint！ Jennie gives practical tips and advice on how to actually go about finding your people。 I love that she doesn’t shy away from talking about the many difficulties that could happen when we begin to invest in relationships and uses stories from her own life as well as others to show how to overcome those difficulties。 A few of my takeaways from the book:1。 Jesus is the only perfect friend， he will never disappoint or hurt me and he knows and loves me perfectly。 My earthly friendships can never compare to him。2。 If we want deep authentic relationships， it will take a lot of work。 As Jennie says “Friends won’t fall from the sky。 Friends are always made。” There is a process and hard work involved。 3。 The hard stuff we have to go through is always worth the reward of having deep connections。 None of the challenges I face in friendships could make me want to turn around and go back to being isolated。 A few of my favourite quotes:“Outside of Jesus， relationships are the greatest gifts we have on earth and simultaneously the most difficult part of being alive。” “I want us to trade lonely and isolated lives that experience brief burst of connectedness for intimately connected lives that experience only brief intervals of feeling alone。”Thank you Jennie for writing such an amazing book！ I can’t wait to keep putting into practice the things I have read！I received an ARC from NetGalley。 The opinions expressed in this review are my own。 。。。more
Melissa J Grizzard
，
After years of feeling isolated and alone Find Your People was just the catlyst I needed to go out and build my circle。 It is loaded with spiritual wisdom and practical application。 In the book Jennie reminds us that friendships don’t fall from the sky but they are made。
Jamie
，
I was able to pre-order this book through her website & read via Net-Galley。 The writing is so vulnerable and honest。 As I read the book it was as if Jennie wrote the words for me。 She knew my pain， my loneliness。 Each chapter I found myself writing notes down and understanding my self isolation better。 This isn’t something you see written。We see books on self-care or mental illness but no one directly addresses the importance of community。 Her research & life experience had me treating this boo I was able to pre-order this book through her website & read via Net-Galley。 The writing is so vulnerable and honest。 As I read the book it was as if Jennie wrote the words for me。 She knew my pain， my loneliness。 Each chapter I found myself writing notes down and understanding my self isolation better。 This isn’t something you see written。We see books on self-care or mental illness but no one directly addresses the importance of community。 Her research & life experience had me treating this book like something I really needed to soak in。 Jennie gave me hope and encouragement to put myself out there。 People need each other to survive。 As a Christian and someone who suffers from PTSD & agoraphobia， I could not recommend this book enough。 。。。more
Amy
，
If you’ve ever felt lonely as a mom， this book is for you。 As a military spouse who has moved 5 times in the past 7 years， I highly recommend。 It’s Christian based but very practical content for anyone。
Ryan
，
Find your people- is life giving and so practical。 This is the book you need - heck we all need。 Coming out of 2020 this book makes a path straight to the root - we are all lonely and what are we going to do about it。 Jennie Faith Allen straight talk and helpful insights will Leave you challenged， encouraged and ready for the hunt。 After all we were meant to live in community！！ So grab your book and then get ready to find your people！！ - julia petrie
Kim Thompson
，
Even before Jenny Allen wrote Find Your People， I heard her talking about the subject of the book on her podcast， Made For This with Jenny Allen。 She spoke of the need for friendships that fight for each other to keep believing that God is real， is good， and has good plans and purpose for us - and my heart was hungry for those kinds of relationships。 For years I believed that I was fundamentally unable to connect with others in a meaningful way or make any relationship work， and it seemed that m Even before Jenny Allen wrote Find Your People， I heard her talking about the subject of the book on her podcast， Made For This with Jenny Allen。 She spoke of the need for friendships that fight for each other to keep believing that God is real， is good， and has good plans and purpose for us - and my heart was hungry for those kinds of relationships。 For years I believed that I was fundamentally unable to connect with others in a meaningful way or make any relationship work， and it seemed that many years of hurt in past relationships and relationships that had gone by the wayside seemed to prove that。 But the hunger was still there。 I’ve been in the process of breaking the hold that the lies I’ve been believing have had on me， and Jennie Allen’s book Find Your People has been a part of that journey。 She’s helped me believe that deep relationships are possible， even when I’ve messed up or have been hurt。 That these kinds of relationships are necessary for growing in Christ and for the world to see the gospel lived out through imperfect people。 That these relationships matter for eternity and are worth fighting for。 And she has given me practical strategies for finding my people and what to do when things go wrong - because they will。 We are all human and will disappoint each other， but God will not let us down。 He designed us for community and to need each other， and through Him these kinds of relationships are possible。 。。。more
Katy Hare
，
This book truly is an invitation to break down walls， get uncomfortable and reevaluate what community looks like to you。 Jennie Allen does an INCREDIBLE job in this book bringing you along in her journey of community while offering advice for those searching for authentic community and bringing it all back to scripture。 This book would be such a good study especially to set the tone for a small group！
Jen
，
Jennie Allen is one of my favorite authors。 She talks with you like a friend and is so encouraging。 Find Your People explains how we were meant to live in community， as Jesus did。 Jennie explains the importance of both a village and an inner circle。 As an introvert， I struggle with approaching people。 Jennie has concrete strategies for this！ Thanks， Jennie！
Brittany McClure
，
This book came to me at a time when all I felt was lonely。 I felt isolated， but Jennie spoke wisdom and truth and lifted the burden of feeling like I was all alone in feeling lonely。 Her practical tips leave you feeling like accomplishing relationship is possible， and they provide reassurance when maybe your plans dont work out the way you want。 She makes you feel like HER friend， without even meeting her！ I STRONGLY recommend this book for everyone， no matter how many relationships you have。 If This book came to me at a time when all I felt was lonely。 I felt isolated， but Jennie spoke wisdom and truth and lifted the burden of feeling like I was all alone in feeling lonely。 Her practical tips leave you feeling like accomplishing relationship is possible， and they provide reassurance when maybe your plans dont work out the way you want。 She makes you feel like HER friend， without even meeting her！ I STRONGLY recommend this book for everyone， no matter how many relationships you have。 If you feel like your life is full of close relationships and you couldnt possibly juggle another， she will instruct you on how to go deeper with those friends。 Above all， Jennie reminds us of the gospel and Gods unending， unwavering， and unconditional love for us！ 。。。more
Kelly Barton
，
Find a highlighter。 Read this book， and then go “Find Your People”…。Even if you already have your people， Jennie provides great insight into what it looks like to really invest in your relationships - how to battle the difficult situations， how to authentically support one another， how to live life alongside your friends with vulnerability， humility， and compassion。 Life is meant to be lived in community。 It’s maybe one of the greatest gifts we have！
Sue Kochanek
，
Have you ever wondered why it is so hard to find friends， and I mean close friends even when you’re in a great church with friendly people？ Or， do you think you’re just fine in your own home， going back and forth to work， and doing your own thing？ However， there’s still a loneliness lurking in your heart？ We need connection。 We need community。 In Find your People， Jennie Allen lays out the why we need friends and the steps on how to gather and make friends， especially close friends。 Her writing Have you ever wondered why it is so hard to find friends， and I mean close friends even when you’re in a great church with friendly people？ Or， do you think you’re just fine in your own home， going back and forth to work， and doing your own thing？ However， there’s still a loneliness lurking in your heart？ We need connection。 We need community。 In Find your People， Jennie Allen lays out the why we need friends and the steps on how to gather and make friends， especially close friends。 Her writing is compelling because she not only shares research， but she shares stories from her own life-from her personal pain。 So much so， that I began reaching out to others right away。 Jennie writes in chapter 5: Remember to look for your people in unexpected places。 Life stage doesn’t matter。 Age doesn’t matter。 Find the people who are following after Jesus， and then go with them。 As isolated Americans， this book is a wakeup call to bring us back to God’s calling to live in community。 I highly recommend this book。 。。。more
Kristi Patteson
，