Fiction

You Exist Too Much

You Exist Too Much

  • Downloads：3965
  • Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
  • Create Date：2022-01-10 07:51:05
  • Update Date：2025-09-06
  • Status：finish
  • Author：Zaina Arafat
  • ISBN：0349701776
  • Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary

On a hot day in Bethlehem， a 12-year-old Palestinian-American girl is yelled at by a group of men outside the Church of the Nativity。 She has exposed her legs in a biblical city， an act they deem forbidden， and their judgement will echo on through her adolescence。 When our narrator finally admits to her mother that she is queer， her mother’s response only intensifies a sense of shame: “You exist too much，” she tells her daughter。

Told in vignettes that flash between the U。S。 and the Middle East―from New York to Jordan， Lebanon， and Palestine―Zaina Arafat’s debut novel traces her protagonist’s progress from blushing teen to sought-after DJ and aspiring writer。 In Brooklyn， she moves into an apartment with her first serious girlfriend and tries to content herself with their comfortable relationship。 But soon her longings， so closely hidden during her teenage years， explode out into reckless romantic encounters and obsessions with other people。 Her desire to thwart her own destructive impulses will eventually lead her to The Ledge， an unconventional treatment center that identifies her affliction as “love addiction。” In this strange， enclosed society she will start to consider the unnerving similarities between her own internal traumas and divisions and those of the places that have formed her。

Opening up the fantasies and desires of one young woman caught between cultural， religious， and sexual identities， You Exist Too Much is a captivating story charting two of our most intense longings―for love， and a place to call home。

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Reviews

emma ，

i think this title is a vibe personally！

Cass ，

this sounded right up my alley but something about it just didn’t connect with me。 i think i would’ve been able to root for the narrator more had the book talked more about her relationship with her mom， the role that culture played， etc。 something other than her cheating on every character in the novel

Callan Corcoran ，

A Palestinian-American woman in her twenties has recovered from an eating disorder， moved in with her girlfriend， and accepted a position at a prestigious MFA program; her successes belie a woman on the brink of unraveling。 In vignettes that jump across time and continents， she reflects on the relationships， places， and identities that define her — and wonders how she would like to define herself。 In this tender character study， Arafat explores the physical and emotional borders we draw， and ask A Palestinian-American woman in her twenties has recovered from an eating disorder， moved in with her girlfriend， and accepted a position at a prestigious MFA program; her successes belie a woman on the brink of unraveling。 In vignettes that jump across time and continents， she reflects on the relationships， places， and identities that define her — and wonders how she would like to define herself。 In this tender character study， Arafat explores the physical and emotional borders we draw， and asks where people who occupy both sides of a border can find home。 。。。more

Digne Glatzel ，

I appreciated the ideas explored， toxic relationships with parents and how we repeat them in our romantic relationships， the stumbling and making the same mistakes over and over until you finally learn， etc。 Unfortunately though I just didn't love the writing， which often felt choppy and hastily done。 I simultaneously wanted scenes/storylines to be drawn out in more detail but also cut down to be more concise。 And I just didn't feel myself delving into the emotions throughout the novel as much a I appreciated the ideas explored， toxic relationships with parents and how we repeat them in our romantic relationships， the stumbling and making the same mistakes over and over until you finally learn， etc。 Unfortunately though I just didn't love the writing， which often felt choppy and hastily done。 I simultaneously wanted scenes/storylines to be drawn out in more detail but also cut down to be more concise。 And I just didn't feel myself delving into the emotions throughout the novel as much as I would've liked。 。。。more

Katherine Teeter ，

Kept me very invested， but was also weird to follow。 The narrator's mind was difficult to associate myself with and to understand， but that's also what made it intriguing。 Fascinating and enjoyable。 Ending was odd。 3/5！ Kept me very invested， but was also weird to follow。 The narrator's mind was difficult to associate myself with and to understand， but that's also what made it intriguing。 Fascinating and enjoyable。 Ending was odd。 3/5！ 。。。more

Isaiah ，

To see more reviews check out MI Book Reviews。I got an ARC of this book。This book is interesting。 I am not sure I have the words to explain how I feel about it。 I read just enough to decide this book was a coming of age and coming out novel for a queer person。 This is not quite wrong， but it is far form right。The actual plot reads like a bad bi rep book written by a straight person who is afraid of bi people。 The bi person is a constant and prolific cheater。 She sleeps with pretty much everyone To see more reviews check out MI Book Reviews。I got an ARC of this book。This book is interesting。 I am not sure I have the words to explain how I feel about it。 I read just enough to decide this book was a coming of age and coming out novel for a queer person。 This is not quite wrong， but it is far form right。The actual plot reads like a bad bi rep book written by a straight person who is afraid of bi people。 The bi person is a constant and prolific cheater。 She sleeps with pretty much everyone that offers and just think of all the bi stereotypes like unable to commit and you have the main character。 The only part that I was interested in when it came to the sexuality of the character was the love addiction。 That was fascinating。 The way that that plot was told was something I enjoyed。 If it didn’t come attached to terrible bi rep， then I would have liked this book a lot more。The formatting of the book was weird。 It was told between memories of childhood and the current time。 The memories did not always seem related to what was happening and they were not always linear。 There were times that the flashbacks were just so jarring that I was not sure what time I was in and what was really happening。 Yet， I was captivated by this。 I loved seeing these glimpses of the the past。 It felt like these memories were what the character was working on and what was relevant for the trauma that she had experienced。 There was a lot to unpack and a lot to see。 As the MC progressed， there were less flashbacks。 It was really cool in the end。The ending was bullshit。 Forgiving your abuser， because she also faced abuse does not magically fix a relationship or the trauma that either faced。 It just felt like a cop out。 I would have loved a more open ended ending。 It would have fit better。 Or the ending was a memory。 That would have also worked。 It just felt like there was too much that was magically fixed or a lot better than should have been。I was annoyed that the MC had no name。 Though it also made a lot of sense。 It fit this idea that the MC was always losing herself in someone else and hadn’t really formed a full identity of her own from her mother， but it also felt like a writing ploy that I used in high school a lot when I was suffering from a lot of untreated mental health issues （spoiler， it was。 I used it ALL the time）。 So if it is something I would have done， I would expect better from a published author。 The author spent so much time in one section explaining about the mother’s name， yet the MC had none。 It felt a little weird。 It also kept all the partners at a distance since they couldn’t even say her name when they were speaking to her。 The little details。 So I am really on the fence with this idea。Overall， the book held my attention， but I wouldn’t really think it was a good book。 It wasn’t bad， but it was also one of those weird books that it seems like only I like。 The terrible bi rep was awful。 I don’t expect every bi character to be amazing， but when most of the bi rep is about a person being a stereotype it is too much。 This book could have had a lesbian and had a more powerful plot。 So this really does matter。 。。。more

Monika Hetzler ，

Bits of this book felt too long， but I thought this was an intriguing look into identity， family and validity。

Emma Saunders ，

I feel like this book has a lot of potential， however I found it difficult to keep up with all the disjointed timelines？ Every time I picked up the book I was confused about where it was going。 Almost had the tease of climax but we never actually went anywhere？

Rubes ，

The storytelling was the best part of this book。 Arafat is skilled at weaving together different themes， flowing across time and space as she builds her plot。 However， the details of the book left a lot to be desired。 I wish the fascinating topics she covers had been explored somewhat more deeply， and also that the ending was a bit stronger。 Overall， still a good book， and I'm excited to read more from this author。 The storytelling was the best part of this book。 Arafat is skilled at weaving together different themes， flowing across time and space as she builds her plot。 However， the details of the book left a lot to be desired。 I wish the fascinating topics she covers had been explored somewhat more deeply， and also that the ending was a bit stronger。 Overall， still a good book， and I'm excited to read more from this author。 。。。more

Desiree Magney ，

I was disappointed the author didn't do more with the topic and show more growth of the protagonist。 I was disappointed the author didn't do more with the topic and show more growth of the protagonist。 。。。more

lauryn chandler ，

To start with the main character is a flawed person。 She is a cheater and has mommy issues， which is somehow kind of common in the books I read idk。 But I think I loved this book for that reason。 I always obsess over "bad" because it just seems more realistic to real-life especially in relationship， as not every story can and should end with a happily ever after。 But the part I related to the most was how she obsesses over unattainable people sort of has her heart guarded。 Even though the mc mad To start with the main character is a flawed person。 She is a cheater and has mommy issues， which is somehow kind of common in the books I read idk。 But I think I loved this book for that reason。 I always obsess over "bad" because it just seems more realistic to real-life especially in relationship， as not every story can and should end with a happily ever after。 But the part I related to the most was how she obsesses over unattainable people sort of has her heart guarded。 Even though the mc made repeatedly bad choices it was sort of just a part of her personality and made the book more interesting。 Overall， the book was a really quick read for me and nothing in it was ever boring。 I wouldn't necessarily recommend it to every person， I really enjoyed it， and I think a niche group would love it as well。 。。。more

Rebecca Lumbrix ，

Truly， such a disappointment。 The premise of this book sounded so good: a queer Palestinian-American woman examines her romantic relationships in light of the fraught dynamic she has with her mother & their culture。 And yet。 The writing style is cheesy & boring， and seemingly every character/town/experience is just a roundup of stereotypes & cliches。 I kept thinking it would get better， but it didn’t。 The best part of reading this book was these brownies that we ate at book club。

Paige Wills ，

I enjoyed the vignette style and think the overall story is important。 The ending was too rushed and resolved in summary。

Claire Welch ，

Definitely worth a read！ Really good， I think it’s impressive how Arafat was able to create a really compelling narrative dealing with the main characters queerness without centering it in an unnatural way or turning it into a weird cliche。 The way that the story is laid out is very well done， it switches between countries and times and themes subtly， giving you a hint at the points Arafat is trying to make about the world （race， age， gender， sexuality， politics， class， etc） without core feeding Definitely worth a read！ Really good， I think it’s impressive how Arafat was able to create a really compelling narrative dealing with the main characters queerness without centering it in an unnatural way or turning it into a weird cliche。 The way that the story is laid out is very well done， it switches between countries and times and themes subtly， giving you a hint at the points Arafat is trying to make about the world （race， age， gender， sexuality， politics， class， etc） without core feeding you her beliefs。 I also liked how apolitical it is， I think that a lot of the main character’s identities are super politicised right now， like being Palestinian and queer and anorexic， and the author tells her story in a very deliberately humanising way which I found sort of unique these days。 My only criticism would be that the plot felt a bit disjointed， it was good for being a page turner as I never guessed what was coming next， but I think as a story it lacked a strong， clear and powerful narrative arc。 More focused on how the protagonist navigates her world。 。。。more

Sara York ，

Good short read

Anthony A ，

This is more of a 3。5。 You Exist Too Much， has a messy structure， but it has its interesting parts。

Junnade ，

Was totally taking notes during the therapy portions of the text 😋😋😋 and am no longer mentally ill ！！ Thank u Zaina Arafat for this gift to all the queer people of the world 🙏 I am only further convinced that the compartmentalisation of sexuality as per Western Notions of LGBQ+ are a sham， and that we ought to champion the idea that all our relationships are unique in and of themselves— all vocabularies will be exhausted by our attempts to describe the indescribable， the totally experiential nat Was totally taking notes during the therapy portions of the text 😋😋😋 and am no longer mentally ill ！！ Thank u Zaina Arafat for this gift to all the queer people of the world 🙏 I am only further convinced that the compartmentalisation of sexuality as per Western Notions of LGBQ+ are a sham， and that we ought to champion the idea that all our relationships are unique in and of themselves— all vocabularies will be exhausted by our attempts to describe the indescribable， the totally experiential nature of queerness。 The powerful through-line of ghurba （غربة） was so compelling and I must say this text is a hypnotic must-read for all queer people of colour， especially those who are diaspora in the West。 。。。more

Minah ，

Unrelatable if you’re ugly I-

Leili V。 ，

3。5， good writing and maybe a good beach read。 I was hoping it would be more profound， but otherwise it was alright。

Stephanie Britt ，

Very relatable， I should have liked it more considering how relatable it was to my own life… but the writing was just not as engaging as other books。 Where Ashley C Ford thrived in Somebody’s Daughter， this book lacked。 The story telling， the character development， the growth seemed like an after thought on this book。 It felt flat compared to the nuanced story telling in such a similar book。

Luca Quellmalz ，

the synopsis of the book failed to mention the eating disorder content， which mostly appeared as shock content。 it wasn’t written about with as much care as needed， but instead played into the trope of “recovering” person who is still very deep in ED thoughts and behaviour。

Alex Alvarez ，

A beautifully written book， Arafat dives into the challenges of soul-finding， seeking parental approval， navigating queerness， and being able to find love and approval in oneself， excellent book！！

Diya ，

Last read of 2021 and boy， was it good。 “You exist too much” is a character study on a relatable unnamed protagonist that felt like a close friend by the end on the novel。 The writing is nuanced， raw and intimate。 The protagonist struggles with relationships， sexuality and cultures at odds in a way that is thought-provoking and strangely comforting （personally）。 What stands out the most is mother-daughter relationship。 It is discussed and tackled and therapized， but left for stalemate at times a Last read of 2021 and boy， was it good。 “You exist too much” is a character study on a relatable unnamed protagonist that felt like a close friend by the end on the novel。 The writing is nuanced， raw and intimate。 The protagonist struggles with relationships， sexuality and cultures at odds in a way that is thought-provoking and strangely comforting （personally）。 What stands out the most is mother-daughter relationship。 It is discussed and tackled and therapized， but left for stalemate at times and most importantly， acknowledged for what it is - tumultuous and co-dependent but still sacred。 Sometimes people have unsavory characteristics， they won’t change， they’ll hurt each other repeatedly。 But you can’t abandon a mother-daughter relationship， you hold onto the joyful moments， however brief， and try to be there for each other。 Reading Arafat’s debut was a reflective experience and I hope to read more of her work。 I also have a special place in my heart for contemporary literature on struggling girls in their twenties and the chaos borne out of their personalities and environment （for obvious reasons）。 Overall， I loved this book and would recommend。 。。。more

Mirella ，

The main character is super unlikeable however there were parts where I related a lot to her。

Emma Keates ，

I know people really loved this and I can understand why， but something about the writing style just never really connected for me

Úna ，

I think this could’ve done with being shorter - a lot of the last third meandered aimlessly and could’ve been edited down。 I enjoyed the parts set at the treatment/therapy centre the most。 The reflective writing style works best here but becomes tiresome as the story drags on with no clear direction。

Elliott Turner ，

3。5 stars - fantastic book about a complex relationship with a mother and also E。D。 plus love addiction。 Such a charming， relatable protagonist。 I dug this and related to it soooo much。

Lisa ，

3。5 ✨

Sahiba ，

probably a good book， just didn't hit for me probably a good book， just didn't hit for me 。。。more

Unnur Lárusdóttir ，

"Are you still a closeted dyke？" A Palestinian bisexual woman describing her fucked up love life and strange relationship with her controlling mother。 Arabs dealing with Israeli soldiers and the feeling of being an outsider in America， as well as in your own homeland。 What is not to like about this story？ Captivating and interesting。 "Are you still a closeted dyke？" A Palestinian bisexual woman describing her fucked up love life and strange relationship with her controlling mother。 Arabs dealing with Israeli soldiers and the feeling of being an outsider in America， as well as in your own homeland。 What is not to like about this story？ Captivating and interesting。 。。。more

Reference

google book https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=You Exist Too Much

hathitrust digital library https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/ls?q1=You Exist Too Much&field1=ocr&a=srchls&ft=ft&lmt=ft

The British Library https://bll01.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/discovery/search?query=any,contains,You Exist Too Much&tab=LibraryCatalog&search_scope=Not_BL_Suppress&vid=44BL_INST:BLL01&lang=en&offset=0