History of a Drowning Boy
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- Author：Dennis Nilsen
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Summary
Dennis Nilsen was one of Britain's most notorious serial killers， jailed for life in 1983 after the murders of 12 men and the attempted murders of many more。
Seven years after his conviction， Nilsen began to write his autobiography and over a period of 18 years he typed 6，000 pages of introspection， reflection， comment and explanation。
History of a Drowning Boy - taken exclusively from these astonishing writings - uncovers， for the first time， the motives behind the murders， and delivers a clear understanding of how such horrific events could have happened， tracing the origins back to early childhood。 In another first， it provides an insight into his 35 years inside the maximum-security prison system including his everyday life on the wings; his interactions with the authorities and other notorious prisoners; and his artistic endeavours of music， writing and drama。 It also reveals the truth behind many of the myths surrounding Dennis Nilsen， as reported in the media。
Nilsen was determined to have his memoir published but to his frustration， the Home Office blocked publication during his lifetime。 He died in 2018， entrusting the manuscript to his closest friend and it is now being published with the latter's permission。
Any autobiography presents the writer's story from just one perspective - his own， and as such this record should be treated with some caution。 An excellent foreword by criminologist Dr Mark Pettigrew offers some context to Nilsen's words， and this important work provides an extraordinary journey through the life of a remarkable and inadequate man。
Seven years after his conviction， Nilsen began to write his autobiography and over a period of 18 years he typed 6，000 pages of introspection， reflection， comment and explanation。
History of a Drowning Boy - taken exclusively from these astonishing writings - uncovers， for the first time， the motives behind the murders， and delivers a clear understanding of how such horrific events could have happened， tracing the origins back to early childhood。 In another first， it provides an insight into his 35 years inside the maximum-security prison system including his everyday life on the wings; his interactions with the authorities and other notorious prisoners; and his artistic endeavours of music， writing and drama。 It also reveals the truth behind many of the myths surrounding Dennis Nilsen， as reported in the media。
Nilsen was determined to have his memoir published but to his frustration， the Home Office blocked publication during his lifetime。 He died in 2018， entrusting the manuscript to his closest friend and it is now being published with the latter's permission。
Any autobiography presents the writer's story from just one perspective - his own， and as such this record should be treated with some caution。 An excellent foreword by criminologist Dr Mark Pettigrew offers some context to Nilsen's words， and this important work provides an extraordinary journey through the life of a remarkable and inadequate man。
Reviews
Sakura
，
An unreliable narrator possessed of an unlikeable personality， nevertheless his autobiography offers a glimpse into a life that was both self-important and pathetic。There is much setting straight of the record but it’s Nilsen’s truth which may have its own purposes。Most interesting was the second half of the book recounting his perception of life following arrest。 The instability of prison life， the coping mechanisms， the attempts to distance himself from his crimes， and finally to find some mea An unreliable narrator possessed of an unlikeable personality， nevertheless his autobiography offers a glimpse into a life that was both self-important and pathetic。There is much setting straight of the record but it’s Nilsen’s truth which may have its own purposes。Most interesting was the second half of the book recounting his perception of life following arrest。 The instability of prison life， the coping mechanisms， the attempts to distance himself from his crimes， and finally to find some meaning in the circle of life。We also see the hangers-on， the fans and the writers， each using his notoriety to satisfy their own needs。 Arrogant yet naive， Nilsen finds himself dependent on these acquaintances of questionable motivation because they are all he has left。Ending with his death， we see a sad end to a sad life， that took a lot of others down with it。 。。。more
Tracy
，
I knew this book would be a tough read going into it， but I was fascinated by the subject matter。 I've read many true crime books but this was my first time reading an actual memoir -- the thoughts of a serial killer in their own words。 It was an unusual insight into the mind of a killer and was both fascinating and disturbing。 Nilsen comes across as intelligent and fairly honest， although he is the epitome of an unreliable narrator so we never really know what's true。 I found the story of his h I knew this book would be a tough read going into it， but I was fascinated by the subject matter。 I've read many true crime books but this was my first time reading an actual memoir -- the thoughts of a serial killer in their own words。 It was an unusual insight into the mind of a killer and was both fascinating and disturbing。 Nilsen comes across as intelligent and fairly honest， although he is the epitome of an unreliable narrator so we never really know what's true。 I found the story of his heartbreaking early life and descriptions of his crimes far more interesting。 He does have a tendency to ramble at times， but this is still an interesting read if you are into true crime。 I felt the narrative started to drag after his arrest and conviction， becoming almost a discussion on the British penal system of the time。I am extremely grateful to NetGalley and RedDoor Press （especially Helen） for providing me with a copy of History of a Drowning Boy in return for my honest opinions。 。。。more
Sue
，
It's very rare thing to get a glimpse inside the mind of a serial killer， especially one as notorious as Dennis Nilsen， but this is exactly what this book offers。 Written during his time incarcerated at various prisons around the UK， this autobiography has been put together by his friend Mark Austin， from the papers left to him by Nilsen， and offers a fascinating account of exactly what he has to say about his childhood， his life before becoming a killer， his crimes and his time as a Category A It's very rare thing to get a glimpse inside the mind of a serial killer， especially one as notorious as Dennis Nilsen， but this is exactly what this book offers。 Written during his time incarcerated at various prisons around the UK， this autobiography has been put together by his friend Mark Austin， from the papers left to him by Nilsen， and offers a fascinating account of exactly what he has to say about his childhood， his life before becoming a killer， his crimes and his time as a Category A prisoner。 It includes an intriguing introduction from Mark Austin， and a very insightful foreword by criminologist Dr Mark Pettigrew， both of which advise taking what comes next with some reservations - after all these are the words of a man who committed heinous crimes， and more than likely suffered with a few personality disorders。The book is split into two quite distinct parts。 broken up into headings that deal with periods of his history。 The first， and most distressing part of the book， deals with Nilsen's life before his imprisonment and is divided into sections dealing with his Early Life， where he tells of his distant mother， a grandfather who he maintains sexually assaulted him， and his awakening homosexuality; Army Life and Civilian Life， where he then moves onto his experiences in the army， the police force， and through various different jobs， as he becomes more and more disconnected from the people and places around him; and finally， Taking Life， as he describes his chaotic life， his string of casual sexual encounters， bouts of excessive alcohol consumption that make his inhibitions fall away ， and how he falls prey to his developing urges and fantasies - culminating in his twelve murders， and many more attempted murders。The descriptions of his crimes are unflinching， with details of each murder dispassionately laid out on the page， but interestingly he concentrates on the ritualistic side of the killings and his compulsions， rather than going into too much detail about the dismemberment and disposal of the the bodies that he is most remembered for - with passing references to the disposal of the bodies being more than enough for me， and the rituals thankfully redacted in some cases。 Even so， this part of the book did make me feel rather grubby and in need of more than a few breaks with some more wholesome reading material！The second is simply entitled Life， and deals with his arrest， trial and 35 years behind bars， split up into chapters headed by the names of the prisons where he was held。 For me， this by far the most interesting part of the book - especially the parts about the life of a Category A prisoner。 This is where we really come to know Nilsen， and even appreciate his sense of humour which really surprised me。 He describes about how he keeps himself occupied， his hobbies， his rare friendships， relationships and moves between different prisons， right up until his final illness and death。 He writes of a quiet and mild mannered prisoner devoted to music， film studies， his budgies and writing about his life - although he does seem to get into trouble on occasion。 He talks at length about working with various authors and journalists though is mostly disparaging about their efforts， and he is down right hostile when recounting the way the gutter press portray him - though considering the mostly fictitious articles， it is hardly surprising。Although， much of his writing is clearly intended to paint him in a positive light， Nilsen freely acknowledges his guilt in the untimely deaths of 12 young men here and does show remorse for his crimes - although perhaps， his reasoning about his motives is a bit tenuous and his assertion that he is a different person to what he once was could never have been proven while he was a prisoner。 His account is cogent and does throw up some meaty themes for debate around the nature of imprisonment and whether prisoners are there to be punished or reformed， and the contentious whole life sentences。There are also some questions to be asked about the ownership of the personal possessions and written accounts of prisoners， and whether they should be allowed to publish their memoirs while still alive。 I am inclined to side with the Home Office on this one， bearing in mind the thoughts and feelings of the families of the victims， but others may disagree。 In any case， Nilsen's memoirs have now seen the light of day， and his long held wish to have his voice heard has now been fulfilled， for better or worse。 "There are monsters in this world;they're just people。There are strong people and there are weak people。I think I am an amalgam of the two。Judge for yourself。"Denis Nilsen This is a very conflicting book to read， and is definitely one for the more reflective reader， rather than the serial killer groupie out for gruesome details of a murder's modus operandi。 If you are going to take the plunge， I recommend reading both the foreword and introduction again once you have reached the end of the book， to remind yourself that the contents should be viewed with caution。 Nonetheless， this is a fascinating book and one which I can recommend if you are interested in reading an account straight from the horses mouth， rather than through the eyes of someone with their own agenda。 。。。more
Holly
，
As someone who is hugely into true crime， serial killers and criminal psychology， this book really called out to me。 I first learned Des had written an autobiography when he passed away in 2018 and it was just a case of waiting until it was finally published。 It was definitely worth the wait。 It might seem macabre to some and even morally wrong that a serial killer has been given a voice but the way Des writes really does pull you in。 Des never glossed over his crimes and was honest about everyt As someone who is hugely into true crime， serial killers and criminal psychology， this book really called out to me。 I first learned Des had written an autobiography when he passed away in 2018 and it was just a case of waiting until it was finally published。 It was definitely worth the wait。 It might seem macabre to some and even morally wrong that a serial killer has been given a voice but the way Des writes really does pull you in。 Des never glossed over his crimes and was honest about everything he'd done his whole life。 His childhood chapters make for sad reading and one does wonder whether his treatment as a child went some way toward shaping his actions as an adult。 Some of his fantasies may seem a little creepy （and believe me the ones that made it to print are tame compared to what they cut out） but the parts where Des describes his prison life had me hooked。 Obviously we have to take what he's written with a pinch of salt as there is no way to verify its accuracy but I'm fairly certain Des was completely truthful in everything he says including the mistreatment by the prison guards。 I'm glad this book made it to print and I'm glad Des was able to make his voice heard。 Yes he was a serial murderer but he also deserved to have the truth told about him and it seems that was what he fought for his entire incarceration。 In short whatever you may think of him， it's hard not to have a form of respect for him by the time you get to the end of the book。 For anyone interested in true crime， criminal psychology or just interested in hearing a serial killers own words。 Read this book， you won't regret it。 。。。more
Nicki Kendall
，
⭐⭐⭐Thanks to #netgalley for the ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review。 I have read books about this case previously and was very excited to receive a copy of this book。 Written by Dennis himself， it's a disturbing and haunting book。 I have always wondered what his perspective was as to what led him to commit such awful murders。 In this book he gives answers from his point of view as to what led to such a seemingly nice quiet guy leading such a horrific life behind closed doors。 Dennis det ⭐⭐⭐Thanks to #netgalley for the ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review。 I have read books about this case previously and was very excited to receive a copy of this book。 Written by Dennis himself， it's a disturbing and haunting book。 I have always wondered what his perspective was as to what led him to commit such awful murders。 In this book he gives answers from his point of view as to what led to such a seemingly nice quiet guy leading such a horrific life behind closed doors。 Dennis details his childhood， his crimes and his life in prison。。 it was very interesting to read his thoughts and perspectives。 #dennisnielsen #historyofadrowningboy #tea_sipping_bookworm #netgalley #goodreads #amazonkindle #litsy #thestorygraph #truecrime #bookqueen #bookstagram 。。。more
Beth
，
I won’t be rating this book as I think it’d be inappropriate of me to rate a book written by a serial killer。
Gemma The BookCosy
，
This is definitely a challenging review to write as although I was completely drawn into Nilsen's autobiography and found it fascinating I don't want to give Nilsen anymore airtime into his appalling crimes。 Having watched 'Des' on ITV and read History of a Drowning Boy I completely understand Nilsen's desire to put his own words on the page and for them to be listened to and unaltered。 From reading this autobiography I gauge that Nilsen felt his words were twisted somewhat in other publications This is definitely a challenging review to write as although I was completely drawn into Nilsen's autobiography and found it fascinating I don't want to give Nilsen anymore airtime into his appalling crimes。 Having watched 'Des' on ITV and read History of a Drowning Boy I completely understand Nilsen's desire to put his own words on the page and for them to be listened to and unaltered。 From reading this autobiography I gauge that Nilsen felt his words were twisted somewhat in other publications and that the writers' own opinions were filtered into the pages creating a biased that Nilsen felt unjust。 It is fair to say that Nilsen is a remarkable writer and his words flowed from the page seamlessly。 Although some of the content was hard to read due to the gruesome and disturbing nature it was interesting to hear the thoughts of Nilsen when describing his own childhood and crimes。I completely get that Nilsen felt the police and prison system was corrupt and that he suffered unjustly at the hands of those incharge but I must admit that my own sympathy had elapsed at this time and I found it hard to read impartially。 I appreciate that Nilsen was trying to communicate the 'truth' about what happened but also felt that it was the truth through his eyes and not necessarily unbiased either。 Nilsen comes across as an intelligent man who suffered a great deal during his childhood through sexual abuse and neglect， never forming good positive relationships with his family。 He was a loner throughout his whole life and I can appreciate how this negatively impacted his life。What this book does do is give you an insight into the mind of a serial killer。 It paints a picture that Nilsen wants to portray to the world away from anyone else's biases and opinion。 I can clearly understand how the media would have angered him with their headlines and negative press and how this may have triggered his need for the 'truth' to be known。 Obviously， like me， the reader will impart their own judgement when reading， stemming from their own life experiences。 History Of A Drowning Boy is an interesting， psychological account of Nilsen's life that is thought-provoking and an addictive read。 。。。more
Lisa Clift
，
I read this after watching the program "Des" on television。 I thought it would be interesting to read about a serial killer from his own viewpoint， and Nilsen wrote prolifically throughout his life。 I expected him to try to justify his actions， but actually his self serving story made me shake with rage。 Throughout he has a rather detached energy as if it is he that was the victim， and that circumstance and his own sad story made him commit his heinous crimes。 He pays lip service to taking respo I read this after watching the program "Des" on television。 I thought it would be interesting to read about a serial killer from his own viewpoint， and Nilsen wrote prolifically throughout his life。 I expected him to try to justify his actions， but actually his self serving story made me shake with rage。 Throughout he has a rather detached energy as if it is he that was the victim， and that circumstance and his own sad story made him commit his heinous crimes。 He pays lip service to taking responsibility for his actions， but he constantly shifts the blame， and plays up his alleged intelligence and bravery。 His fantasies in italics thought the book are sickening， and are pure titillation， both for himself and his reader。 They made me feel ill， and they shouldn't see the light of day。 I know， a serial killer who's not very nice， what a shocker eh？ 。。。more
Hannah Symonds
，
I watched the ITV drama that they did on Dennis Nilsen quite recently and found it fascinating but wanted to know more so was lucky enough to be asked to read and review the autobiography。 It literally sent shivers down my spine but I just couldn’t put it down。 Nilsen was a notorious killer and killed 12 men and tried to kill more， he was jailed in 1983 for life， here we learn about his time in prison where he served 35 years， it is a strange story as he admits to killing the men but what we don I watched the ITV drama that they did on Dennis Nilsen quite recently and found it fascinating but wanted to know more so was lucky enough to be asked to read and review the autobiography。 It literally sent shivers down my spine but I just couldn’t put it down。 Nilsen was a notorious killer and killed 12 men and tried to kill more， he was jailed in 1983 for life， here we learn about his time in prison where he served 35 years， it is a strange story as he admits to killing the men but what we don’t know or understand is why these particular men。 There are parts about the murders that are gruesome but that is just how he did it， I feel as though this story needs to be told and it is one that has intrigued me for a very long time。 I am glad I got the chance to read this book。 。。。more
Nicole
，
This book is really difficult to rate。 Obviously it wasn't fun or enjoyable to read。 It was graphic and difficult to readHowever， as someone who loves true crime and finds the mind of a serial killer fascinating。There were parts of this book that were incredibly eye-opening and fascinating particularly his experiences in prison and his criticisms of the press。There were other parts such as when he talks about getting his book written and published which were not that interesting。Obviously I don This book is really difficult to rate。 Obviously it wasn't fun or enjoyable to read。 It was graphic and difficult to readHowever， as someone who loves true crime and finds the mind of a serial killer fascinating。There were parts of this book that were incredibly eye-opening and fascinating particularly his experiences in prison and his criticisms of the press。There were other parts such as when he talks about getting his book written and published which were not that interesting。Obviously I don't take everything he says in this book seriously given his personality disorder。However， this book provides a very unique insight and it was interesting to read from the killers perspective for once instead of from a psychologist or journalist。 I do recommend this book if you are interested in serial killers and forensic psychology TW: graphic descriptions of murder， rape， violence， torture， mutilation， animal abuse and suicide references 。。。more
Row Wood
，
Reassured that the man was getting no monetary gain from this book and loving true crime， I pre-ordered this。 To begin with Nilsen almost convinces you， slowly， that his crimes were ‘normal’ and a perfectly reasonable result of his childhood traumas！ You soon see that this man was a bitter， twisted， narcissist who sees any different opinions as a personal affront！ Always right， he whines like a child when he feels the punishment for murdering 12 young men is too harsh and it hurts his ego。 Bette Reassured that the man was getting no monetary gain from this book and loving true crime， I pre-ordered this。 To begin with Nilsen almost convinces you， slowly， that his crimes were ‘normal’ and a perfectly reasonable result of his childhood traumas！ You soon see that this man was a bitter， twisted， narcissist who sees any different opinions as a personal affront！ Always right， he whines like a child when he feels the punishment for murdering 12 young men is too harsh and it hurts his ego。 Better off dead？ Yes， absolutely！ Makes you angry at times？ Sure！ but still a great read for true crime fans。 。。。more
Beth
，
This is one of the hardest reads I have come across。 The story is the writings and autobiography of Dennis Nilsen in quite a graphic text providing haunting details of his early life， work， killings and prison time。
Shannon
，
Thank you to Netgalley and RedDoor Books for the arc of History of a Drowning Boy by Dennis Nilsen and Mark Pettigrew as contributor to the book。 This gives you an insight into Dennis Nilsen， the notorious serial killer whom murdered 12 men and attempted others， 7 years after he got convicted he started writing his own autobiography。。 it uncover his first time killing to his motives on the murders， and even gives you clear insight into of how horrific events could of happened。。 Then it provides Thank you to Netgalley and RedDoor Books for the arc of History of a Drowning Boy by Dennis Nilsen and Mark Pettigrew as contributor to the book。 This gives you an insight into Dennis Nilsen， the notorious serial killer whom murdered 12 men and attempted others， 7 years after he got convicted he started writing his own autobiography。。 it uncover his first time killing to his motives on the murders， and even gives you clear insight into of how horrific events could of happened。。 Then it provides insight into his 35 years in maximum security prison， like his everyday life in the wings to his own interactions with other notorious prisoners。。。。 。。。more
Lucii Dixon
，
Although not many people will agree， I believe that everyone deserves to tell the truth and express their side of the story。。。 regardless of what they have done。 Dennis Nilsen， though posthumously， has written this book with brutal honesty。 Since his arrest， he never once denied， or been in denial， about what he did。 He has always been completely honest about his crimes and victims， his fantasies etc。 And for me， after reading this the whole way through， I have some level respect for him。 He's v Although not many people will agree， I believe that everyone deserves to tell the truth and express their side of the story。。。 regardless of what they have done。 Dennis Nilsen， though posthumously， has written this book with brutal honesty。 Since his arrest， he never once denied， or been in denial， about what he did。 He has always been completely honest about his crimes and victims， his fantasies etc。 And for me， after reading this the whole way through， I have some level respect for him。 He's very open and very honest， and let's face it。。。 you don't ever see serial killers do this。 I also have a level of respect for the utmost remorse he has for what he did， that he expresses a few times throughout this book。His childhood was traumatic。 I mean， imagine being homosexual in the 50's， 60's， 70's etc。， it was illegal and frowned upon。 He didn't have any friends and his mother was an utter cow （not going to mince my words here） and he ended up living in a fantasy world， though not a healthy one but nevertheless， he did。 He had no one to talk to about his thoughts， his sexuality。 He was abused by his grandfather and was too scared to tell a soul。 I mean， read this for yourself。 There is so many triggering and mitigating factors from his past that I am not totally surprised that he did what he did。。。 thought let me say this。。。 I would never， ever condone what he did。 He took lives in a brutal way。 I am glad he carried on his biography of his life in prison。 It truly shows how the British penal system are flawed。 The officers treated him like a dog， he was beaten and bloodied many times and reprimanded because of what officer's did。 It is disgusting。 What happened to Human Rights？ I believe， whilst in prison， Nilsen did reform， and he did get better。 He did not hurt a soul in his many， many years inside and that says something。 He did some heinous crimes， but what happened to him in prison was disgusting。 I guarantee the officers involved did not get punished。。。 they never do。 All in all， I feel heartbroken for Dennis Nilsen as a little boy， who lacked the love and empathy that every child needs in life to progress into a healthy minded adult。 I felt sorry for him for his treatment in prison。 But I understand why he did what he did， even if he couldn't quite understand himself。 And although he did bad things， I hope he rests in peace。 。。。more
Michelle
，
TW: animal abuse， sexual abuse， sexual assault， graphic content， murder， mutilation and necrophilia/necrofetishism。This is a very difficult review to write and give a star rating and I even considered whether to give it a rating at all but from a psychology point of view this book is incredibly interesting and thought provoking regarding the mind of a serial killer。 Also， without trying to glamorise Dennis Nilsen， he is a very compelling and honest writer to the point where in some sections it i TW: animal abuse， sexual abuse， sexual assault， graphic content， murder， mutilation and necrophilia/necrofetishism。This is a very difficult review to write and give a star rating and I even considered whether to give it a rating at all but from a psychology point of view this book is incredibly interesting and thought provoking regarding the mind of a serial killer。 Also， without trying to glamorise Dennis Nilsen， he is a very compelling and honest writer to the point where in some sections it is very harrowing。 For those that are unaware， Dennis Nilsen was a serial killer throughout the 70's-80's who murdered at least 12 men and boys and attempted to murder another 6 in London。 This book is the first of it's kind， to my knowledge， and was written by Dennis Nilsen himself whilst he served life in prison。 Personally I feel there has always been a fascination in terms of his psychology as when he was arrested he was extremely calm and never tried to deceive or lie to the police about his crimes。 This memoir discusses his entire life in a very open way and includes the sexual abuse he endured as a child from his Grandfather， the lack of male role model in his life and his suspected sexual assault whilst he was in the army。 Without going into too much detail or expressing my opinion， it does make you wonder from a psychological point of view as to whether these events had an impact on the person he became in his later life。 Overall， I think if you are interested in true crime or psychology then this is a very intriguing read and I would recommend it。 。。。more
Stacie
，
I have always been interested in true crime， so was keen to read The History of a Drowning Boy。I knew it was going to be a tough read and it seemed to take me forever。 I picked it up at the end of January， put it down for a week and then went back to it。 I will be honest， it didn’t hook me as much as I first expected。The History of a Drowning Boy is Dennis Nilsen’s autobiography， written in his exact words and only edited for chronological purposes， with repetitive sections removed。 It is an abs I have always been interested in true crime， so was keen to read The History of a Drowning Boy。I knew it was going to be a tough read and it seemed to take me forever。 I picked it up at the end of January， put it down for a week and then went back to it。 I will be honest， it didn’t hook me as much as I first expected。The History of a Drowning Boy is Dennis Nilsen’s autobiography， written in his exact words and only edited for chronological purposes， with repetitive sections removed。 It is an absolutely fascinating documentation of his life， as he knew it。 It is important to note that there is no way of knowing whether his words and experiences are true。The book starts off with Nilsen’s early childhood， documenting broken relationships and a dysfunctional family， right up until his incarceration。 It’s clear that Nilsen was an intelligent man， his writing is witty， clever and even poetic。 You really do get a sense of seeing the real person through this book， his own perspective on his incredibly turbulent life。It was fascinating to read his reasoning behind his despicable crimes， although this by no means justifies them。 It explains so much about his behaviour and fantasies。 Ultimately， he was an isolated， lonely， traumatised individual。 Although this does not excuse his behaviour， it does help you to understand his thinking。 You often forget you’re reading the words of one of the most prolific serial killers in the UK。 Nilsen was intelligent and artistic。 He shares anecdotes of his prison life （and he experienced a lot - being moved around so often！）。 It was an uncomfortable read， but in terms of psychology and the mind， absolutely fascinating。 TW; Murder， Necrophilia。*I received an ARC via NetGalley。 Thoughts and opinions are my own。 。。。more
Sheryl Jones
，
Thank you to @netgalley for my eARC of History of a Drowning Boy。 This book contains Nilsen’s own writings about his life， giving insight into his background， his crimes and also his life in prison。 It’s always hard to say you ‘enjoyed’ a true crime book， by the very nature of the content it’s impossible to enjoy them。 However， this is surprisingly well written and put together。 Nilsen’s writing style is perhaps a bit wordy， but this never crosses the line into florid and it keeps events fairly Thank you to @netgalley for my eARC of History of a Drowning Boy。 This book contains Nilsen’s own writings about his life， giving insight into his background， his crimes and also his life in prison。 It’s always hard to say you ‘enjoyed’ a true crime book， by the very nature of the content it’s impossible to enjoy them。 However， this is surprisingly well written and put together。 Nilsen’s writing style is perhaps a bit wordy， but this never crosses the line into florid and it keeps events fairly matter of fact。 Nilsen doesn’t try to excuse his crimes， and in fact there’s a healthy amount of remorse and and understanding of the impact on his victims’ families and loved ones。 Of course， Nilsen was writing after he’d been convicted and it’s difficult to decide what parts of his story are fact and which are fiction。 I suspect the truth perhaps lies somewhere in between。 The book does rely somewhat on a knowledge of Nilsen’s crimes - so it’s probably worthwhile doing even a brief google search before reading this。 Or watch the brilliant UK TV show starring David Tennant。 Rating wise， this was a 4 ⭐️ book for me - it was interesting to read the story in Nilsen’s own words， and it was engaging throughout。 I’d recommend it to anyone interested in true crime and gaining an insight into the mind of a serial killer。 。。。more
Sarah
，
⭐️ 2。5 stars ⭐️Written over the span of 18 years， ‘History of a Drowning Boy’ is the autobiography of Dennis ‘Des’ Nilson， a serial killer jailed in 1983 for the murders of 12 men。Let me start by saying that I knew very little about Dennis Nilson before reading this book。 I had seen the recent tv series advertised， but I never got around to watching it。 I knew he was a serial killer， but that was pretty much the extent of my knowledge。 I’d never read a book from the point of view of a murderer b ⭐️ 2。5 stars ⭐️Written over the span of 18 years， ‘History of a Drowning Boy’ is the autobiography of Dennis ‘Des’ Nilson， a serial killer jailed in 1983 for the murders of 12 men。Let me start by saying that I knew very little about Dennis Nilson before reading this book。 I had seen the recent tv series advertised， but I never got around to watching it。 I knew he was a serial killer， but that was pretty much the extent of my knowledge。 I’d never read a book from the point of view of a murderer before， so when I was offered the chance to read an ARC， curiosity got the better of me。I found the first part of the book， about Nilson’s early life and career， the most difficult and disturbing to read。 He speaks openly about enduring sexual abuse at a young age then coming to terms with his sexuality， and often includes quite graphic descriptions of his sexual fantasies。Nilson’s account of the actual murders is told over one chapter， which for me， felt like it was almost glossed over。 The reason given was that the book ‘Killing for Company’ by Brian Masters goes into more detail if you’re interested。 I was expecting the autobiography to give me an insight into the mind of a serial killer， and unfortunately I didn’t get that。A large part of the book concerns Nilson’s stint in various prisons across the country。 I found aspects of it interesting， such as his job typing up books into Braille。。。 and dare I say it， some of his anecdotes were quite amusing。。。 however， I found this section quite boring， and I was constantly checking to see how long I had left in the book！The thing that shocked me the most was how well written Nilson’s autobiography was。 I went into it thinking I would take what was said with a pinch of salt。。。 however， by the end， I do think a lot of it is truthful。 I would recommend this book to people if you’re interested in the UK prison system， however， if you’re looking to read more about what life is like one of Britain’s most prolific serial killers， this is not it！Thank you to Helen at Literally Public Relations and the publisher for an ARC of this book！ 。。。more
Rebecca Tait
，
I'm really in two minds about this book。 The recollections from his childhood & early adulthood were fascinating as he explored what had led him to become the killer we all know。 I often found myself laughing along at an anecdote， sympathising with him & the abuse he suffered or appreciating his eloquent reflections。 The writing is intelligent & I found him disturbingly charming at certain points & often had to remind myself he was a serial killer。 However， as soon as the book reached the sectio I'm really in two minds about this book。 The recollections from his childhood & early adulthood were fascinating as he explored what had led him to become the killer we all know。 I often found myself laughing along at an anecdote， sympathising with him & the abuse he suffered or appreciating his eloquent reflections。 The writing is intelligent & I found him disturbingly charming at certain points & often had to remind myself he was a serial killer。 However， as soon as the book reached the section on his murders & subsequent imprisonment it became very repetitive & I found my interest waning。 This made up quite a large section of what is a very long book so put me off a bit & it only picked back up again as the book drew to a close。 I think if you have an interest in the British prison system as well as the psycology & human elements then this book would definitely be of more interest。 。。。more
Melise
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I struggled the entire time I was reading this book。 This book is a collection of writings by Dennis Nilsen， a convicted serial murderer who died in 2018。 He wrote this while in prison， but was barred from releasing it （and profiting from its sale） while he was alive。 The book was full of language and syntax that was more ornate and formal than it needed to be， and left me with the impression that the author wanted his readers to be amazed by how smart he was。 Unfortunately， I simply found the s I struggled the entire time I was reading this book。 This book is a collection of writings by Dennis Nilsen， a convicted serial murderer who died in 2018。 He wrote this while in prison， but was barred from releasing it （and profiting from its sale） while he was alive。 The book was full of language and syntax that was more ornate and formal than it needed to be， and left me with the impression that the author wanted his readers to be amazed by how smart he was。 Unfortunately， I simply found the style irritating。 In addition， I felt as if the entire book was designed to offer an excuse for his behavior， and I found that quite off putting。 Thanks to RedDoor Books for providing me with an advanced reading copy via NetGalley。 。。。more
Ophelia Sings
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It will come as no surprise to hear that the autobiography of serial killer Dennis Nilsen is not an easy read。 It is， however， intelligent and articulate and not without warmth and humour， and it's easy to see why Nilsen evaded suspicion and capture for so long。 It's easy to understand why this unassuming， apparently gentle chap with a fondness for animals seemed so 'normal' to his colleagues， acquaintances and the police。However。 The detached way in which he describes his crimes， and their mons It will come as no surprise to hear that the autobiography of serial killer Dennis Nilsen is not an easy read。 It is， however， intelligent and articulate and not without warmth and humour， and it's easy to see why Nilsen evaded suspicion and capture for so long。 It's easy to understand why this unassuming， apparently gentle chap with a fondness for animals seemed so 'normal' to his colleagues， acquaintances and the police。However。 The detached way in which he describes his crimes， and their monstrous nature， leaves the reader in absolutely no doubt as to the type of man Nilsen was。 The luridly drawn sexual obsessions and details of abuse he himself suffered are widely covered and make for very uncomfortable reading。 We can never know the truth behind any of Nilsen's claims - it's clear from this sprawling book， written over the many years of his incarceration， that his fantasy life was rich indeed。 But that fantasy life in itself gives the reader a chilling insight into the mind of a murderer。 There is no doubt that Nilsen was an excellent writer， much as it pains me to compliment him in any way at all。 He was also， to a degree， very self aware; by his own admission， he was a narcissistic psychopath， and the signs for what his life would become were there from childhood， documented in detail here。 This is also a prison memoir and his dinner party-esque anecdotes about the characters he met behind bars， and his much loved pet birds， are a stark contrast to the man who was capable of the crimes be committed。A difficult book in very many ways， but essential reading for true crime aficionados and those with a deeper interest in the psychology of those who commit dreadful crimes alike。My thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more
Ruthy lavin
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Well this is possibly the most difficult review I’ve ever written。。。I’m torn with my opinion of this book， because whilst I refuse to glamourise any hideous thing that Denis Nilsen did during his killing spree of the 70’s and 80’s， there is no denying that he is an excellent writer。There has long been fascination about ‘Des’ and his crimes， in no small part because of his candidness and often harrowing honesty about what he did， and never denied doing， from the moment of his arrest。 He admitted Well this is possibly the most difficult review I’ve ever written。。。I’m torn with my opinion of this book， because whilst I refuse to glamourise any hideous thing that Denis Nilsen did during his killing spree of the 70’s and 80’s， there is no denying that he is an excellent writer。There has long been fascination about ‘Des’ and his crimes， in no small part because of his candidness and often harrowing honesty about what he did， and never denied doing， from the moment of his arrest。 He admitted to his crimes， did his time， and by all accounts was a model inmate until his death。 Like so many other serial killers （Richard Ramirez， Henry Lee Lucas， Ed Kemper and others） one has to wonder that if he had had better role models as a child and been shown more love and care， he might have turned out very differently， he certainly had the intelligence and capacity to do well in life。 What is obvious about Des Nilsen is that his problems began in early childhood with the sexual abuse he suffered at the hands of his Grandfather， a common theme amongst serial killers。 This book is very long， but fascinating and undeniably compelling。 If you have an interest in true crime or psychology， it will definitely interest you。Obviously it’s content is explicit and you may sometimes have to take a breather to compose yourself， but it is a rare and extremely detailed account of the life of a serial killer。 。。。more
Lana Coupland
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“All my life， I'd been searching for the answer to the question， 'Where had grandad gone？' and 'Where was I going？'”What was written before in an endeavour to comprehend such one-of-the-kind case becomes dim right next to the book， eventually meeting its readers， by Dennis Nilsen himself。 And it is a final piece in the story of the most notorious British multiple murderer simply because nothing can be said more on the subject of his deeds and their nature。 In this autobiography you won't find an “All my life， I'd been searching for the answer to the question， 'Where had grandad gone？' and 'Where was I going？'”What was written before in an endeavour to comprehend such one-of-the-kind case becomes dim right next to the book， eventually meeting its readers， by Dennis Nilsen himself。 And it is a final piece in the story of the most notorious British multiple murderer simply because nothing can be said more on the subject of his deeds and their nature。 In this autobiography you won't find any outspoken and gut-wrenching details of killings and everything that happened after it， as if it still isn't so clear and well-described already in many sources。 Well， by paying too much attention to it， you will for sure miss the whole point。 And that's why I have so much enjoyed reading it。 Because of the story that stands before man's actions and his life that carries on afterwards。 I appreciate it the most。 Fascinated far earlier， as I have read famous 'Killing for Company' by Brian Masters， I can say now that it's nothing compared to the personal experience of Dennis Nilsen through his words that are unshortened and not taken out of context， also with his great sharp mind and its percipient remarks。 And I believe — with his sincereity and intent to help to understand himself and to make own decisions and find the truth without imposing or biasing。 That's why he never once had criticised or blamed someone in the book， even such people who deserve that in some way。 Mainly because he understood that it's about what had been already done and impossible to change。 And also because he never had a place for the hatred in his heart。 His story is told not due to some kind of attention to his persona or justification as well。 Dennis Nilsen had a right and maybe even a purpose to do it， so he had made his best。 And these memoirs can be useful too， as soon as it's obvious that such crimes must not be repeated in the future but there is a way to prevent them。 Therefore， personally， I really liked meeting Dennis Nilsen， who is， undoubtedly， a man of intelligence， with a sense of humor and some writing skills too。 And as for me， I not only noticed his resistant optimism and demeanour but the great human tragedy behind that。 And how， step by step， every event in his life just occurred to bring him closer to his fatal end。 。。。more
Diane
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This was the autobiography of serial killer Dennis Nilsen It covers all of his life including his time in prison。 It was fascinating learning more about him and his troubled childhood。 He seemed a very intelligent man and wanting to expand his knowledge even in prison。 He also appeared very lonely to me。 Of course that is no excuse for the awful things he did！ If you love true crime this would be perfect for you
teleri llinos
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I was not expecting this to be as long as it was。 The ebook given was 849 pages long and most of it was rambles and who cares。 This book is thirteen chapters long， and only one is dedicated to his crimes and then a further eight are about his time in prison。 He spent five years killing and he only gave us one chapter？ That's clearly why the majority of the readers are actually reading， nobody cares that you put on plays in prison。 So boiling it down to one chapter， which was pretty generic felt I was not expecting this to be as long as it was。 The ebook given was 849 pages long and most of it was rambles and who cares。 This book is thirteen chapters long， and only one is dedicated to his crimes and then a further eight are about his time in prison。 He spent five years killing and he only gave us one chapter？ That's clearly why the majority of the readers are actually reading， nobody cares that you put on plays in prison。 So boiling it down to one chapter， which was pretty generic felt like a ripoff。The rest of this book is just him talking about the sexual abuse he suffered as a child by his grandfather， his weird sexual obsession with his brother， Olav， the rest of his sexual fantasies， and his boring time in prison。 Who knew he could make prison sound so boring？ I'm fascinated by the workings of prisons but his constant chapters on it nearly put me to sleep， countless times。I'd give this book a miss unless you love reading about self-obsessed serial killers， who drone on about the simplest of things。TW for the book: it uses the slur g*psie， and mentions a fair amount of homophobia。>I received an ebook of this from NetGalley， in return for an honest review。 。。。more
Stephen
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thanks to netgalley and the publishers for a free copy in return for an open and honest reviewThis book gives you an insight into the mind of serial killer as this book was written whilst he was in prison and is only being published after his death， it does describe his killings and talks about his life from northern east Scotland to joining the army and his short stint in the Met。 some of the book describes some of his fantasies and can be seen as quite sexual but does have hints of paranoia as thanks to netgalley and the publishers for a free copy in return for an open and honest reviewThis book gives you an insight into the mind of serial killer as this book was written whilst he was in prison and is only being published after his death， it does describe his killings and talks about his life from northern east Scotland to joining the army and his short stint in the Met。 some of the book describes some of his fantasies and can be seen as quite sexual but does have hints of paranoia as he berates Brian Masters who wrote the book about him not long after his Trial。 。。。more
Mags
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Fascinating insight into the mind of a serial killer。Dennis Nilsen potentially lays bear his thoughts and feelings。 I say potentially， because we honestly don't now if there's truth in here - how much might be bravado or artifice。 That's not to say Nilsen comes across well - he's a deeply flawed human， who does express some regret for his actions but at the same time he details his proclivities and murders in quite loving detail。 I do feel like some of the sexual fantasies could have been cut/ed Fascinating insight into the mind of a serial killer。Dennis Nilsen potentially lays bear his thoughts and feelings。 I say potentially， because we honestly don't now if there's truth in here - how much might be bravado or artifice。 That's not to say Nilsen comes across well - he's a deeply flawed human， who does express some regret for his actions but at the same time he details his proclivities and murders in quite loving detail。 I do feel like some of the sexual fantasies could have been cut/edited for length - worrying to think he might have been getting off thinking about people reading it。I would have liked maybe some annotated notes or something。 You're not always sure you're being told the truth （I'd bet it wasn't at some points）， although I understand that the premise is to present Nilsen's words completely unedited。Utterly fascinating for any true crime fan。 。。。more
Stacey Hammond
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This book was banned from going into print by the Home Office until after Nilsen had passed away。Covering everything in detail from his careers with the British Army & the Police， from how he killed his first victim to his life in various prisons。 It's hard to imagine that someone with so little regard to a human life could be so gentle when it came to nurturing animals， his dog Bleep & his prison companions budgies Hamish & Tweetles。I thoroughly enjoyed this book & it was a fascinating read int This book was banned from going into print by the Home Office until after Nilsen had passed away。Covering everything in detail from his careers with the British Army & the Police， from how he killed his first victim to his life in various prisons。 It's hard to imagine that someone with so little regard to a human life could be so gentle when it came to nurturing animals， his dog Bleep & his prison companions budgies Hamish & Tweetles。I thoroughly enjoyed this book & it was a fascinating read into Nilsens mind & his 'passion' for men。A highly recommended read！Many thanks to Netgalley for my ARC in return for my honest review 。。。more
Jackie
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