The Not-So-Friendly Friend: How To Set Boundaries for Healthy Friendships
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- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2021-12-11 06:51:11
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Christina Furnival
- ISBN：1683734262
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
How can I help my child deal with a bully？
What do I teach them about handling an on-again-off-again， not-so-friendly friend？
My advice to “just be kind” isn’t helping， and my child is still hurting。
Christina Furnival， a licensed mental health therapist and mom， helps answer these questions in this charming and engaging rhyming story about a young child who successfully navigates the complexities of an unkind peer relationship。
In The Not-So-Friendly Friend， children will learn an easy and practical lesson about how to firmly and assertively – yet kindly – stand up for themselves in the face of a bully。 By teaching children about the importance and value of setting boundaries for healthy friendships， this book provides children the tools they need to foster their social confidence and emotional well-being。
What do I teach them about handling an on-again-off-again， not-so-friendly friend？
My advice to “just be kind” isn’t helping， and my child is still hurting。
Christina Furnival， a licensed mental health therapist and mom， helps answer these questions in this charming and engaging rhyming story about a young child who successfully navigates the complexities of an unkind peer relationship。
In The Not-So-Friendly Friend， children will learn an easy and practical lesson about how to firmly and assertively – yet kindly – stand up for themselves in the face of a bully。 By teaching children about the importance and value of setting boundaries for healthy friendships， this book provides children the tools they need to foster their social confidence and emotional well-being。
Reviews
Daniele Kasper
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This story was an absolute delight to read from the first page to the last。 Furnival has crafted an exquisite tale about the ups and downs of friendship that children and adults will adore from the moment they open the cover。This story was both entertaining and educational， which can be a tricky balance to maintain in a children’s book， and I will be suggesting it to teachers whenever possible。 This tale teaches children to set boundaries with their friends and peers。 It shows children what heal This story was an absolute delight to read from the first page to the last。 Furnival has crafted an exquisite tale about the ups and downs of friendship that children and adults will adore from the moment they open the cover。This story was both entertaining and educational， which can be a tricky balance to maintain in a children’s book， and I will be suggesting it to teachers whenever possible。 This tale teaches children to set boundaries with their friends and peers。 It shows children what healthy friendships look like， allowing children to learn how to express themselves when they are being treated poorly。 Learning to set limits within friendships also teaches children about self-respect and how to be assertive。 Incorporating social and emotional education into children's picture books is a tried and true way to teach an important life skill in a way that is fun。 This would be an amazing addition for classroom libraries， counselling offices and more。 This story was adorably illustrated by Katie Dwyer。 The watercolor-esque pictures were cute， but vibrant。 The hand painted feel to them was a nice touch rather than the overproduced computer generated images we often see。 Furnival's prose was simple and rhymed， making it an easy read for a budding young reader， but the simplicity of the words did not undermine or detract from the power and importance of the message behind them。Absolutely， a must read。 。。。more
Natalie
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I received an advance reader copy of this book to read in exchange for an honest review via netgalley and the publishers。The Not-So Friendly Friend is a fantastic book to help teach children how to deal with being bullied and the bullying itself。 The book is great for adults sharing this with the child too and educates them in ways they can help and support the child too。 It helps the children to learn to set boundaries and recognise what is and isn't acceptable behaviour towards them and others I received an advance reader copy of this book to read in exchange for an honest review via netgalley and the publishers。The Not-So Friendly Friend is a fantastic book to help teach children how to deal with being bullied and the bullying itself。 The book is great for adults sharing this with the child too and educates them in ways they can help and support the child too。 It helps the children to learn to set boundaries and recognise what is and isn't acceptable behaviour towards them and others。 When a child is bullied it is traumatic for the child and the parent of the child。 It's overwhelming。 We send our children to school to be cared for and educated not put in distress or to be hurt or victimised。 I loved how practical this book was in its approach to this subject and really enjoyed the questions and answers at the back of the book too。 。。。more
Shelly Pollock
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THE NOT-SO-FRIENDLY-FRIEND contains top strategies for children to help them manage bullies。 It is written in rhyme making it easy for young ones to understand。 It would also be a great resource for a School Counselor's library！ THE NOT-SO-FRIENDLY-FRIEND contains top strategies for children to help them manage bullies。 It is written in rhyme making it easy for young ones to understand。 It would also be a great resource for a School Counselor's library！ 。。。more
Jess Croft （Secret World of Books）
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I love the illustrations。 Water colour is used on every page showing a subtle but beautiful effect。 At the back of the book there are some interesting and helpful conversation starters and discussion questions， for parents/carers to communicate with their children about boundaries and what it means to be a good friend。Young children will definitely find this inspiring story useful and relatable。 It encourages kind behaviour for all children， to use their words instead of their hands。 A story is I love the illustrations。 Water colour is used on every page showing a subtle but beautiful effect。 At the back of the book there are some interesting and helpful conversation starters and discussion questions， for parents/carers to communicate with their children about boundaries and what it means to be a good friend。Young children will definitely find this inspiring story useful and relatable。 It encourages kind behaviour for all children， to use their words instead of their hands。 A story is a fun way for children to understand that bullying is not the right choice to make， for victims to always stay true to themselves and to express boundaries。 The school setting is a clever aspect， as children spend most of their time there， bullying is likely to happen to some children。 There are many creative messages for children to learn about in this book including turn taking， fairness， kindness， problem solving and to know they can always go to an adult for help。 I love the variety of characters throughout… there is a parent， children of both genders and， children of different ethnicity and disabilities。 。。。more
Lini Fernandez
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Subservience is not humilityA beautiful book that encourages not so kiddish values of equality， kindness， friendship！I personally believe that humility is realisation of equality。 We are as vulnerable and proficient as others。 The aspects of our vulnerability and proficiency might differ。 In a world that tries to burden the good one with unrealistic expectations， this serves as a good reminder to value oneself just as others。Right place to start！
Anna
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Thank you NetGalley and PESI Publishing and Media for a copy of "The Not-So-Friendly Friend: How To Set Boundaries for Healthy Friendships" in exchange for my honest review。 The new girl has a golden rule - she treated her classmates how she liked to be treated， she was helpful， loving， and gave the sweetest hugs。 It was easy to like her， she was a good problem solver with a bright mind。 She shared， took turns was fair and used her words to solve problems。 Not everyone liked her。 A girl fought w Thank you NetGalley and PESI Publishing and Media for a copy of "The Not-So-Friendly Friend: How To Set Boundaries for Healthy Friendships" in exchange for my honest review。 The new girl has a golden rule - she treated her classmates how she liked to be treated， she was helpful， loving， and gave the sweetest hugs。 It was easy to like her， she was a good problem solver with a bright mind。 She shared， took turns was fair and used her words to solve problems。 Not everyone liked her。 A girl fought with her all the time。 She tries harder to be a friend but the girl was not nice and teased her。 She used unkind words and rude actions。 She made her feel down。 She was not really a friend - someone who loves you will never make you feel small。 She stayed true to herself and her beautiful heart。 She created boundaries - if she was nice， they would play with her。 If not， they wouldn't。 True friends make you feel good， treat you with love and respect。 Bullies are never okay。 It's always okay to go to a trusted adult。 This book is wonderful for educators and parents to teach young children to set boundaries。 Firm limits that help decrease bullying。 A chance to discuss greater self-care， self-worth， self-respect， assertiveness for healthy future relationships。 Some conversations to be had: what are boundaries？ When and why you'd set one？ Are setting boundaries easy or hard？ What is a good friend？ Why do they say or do？ Is it mean to set a boundary？ 。。。more
Mikayla
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I received an advanced ebook copy of this book from NetGalley for review。 Setting boundaries with people who make you feel bad is a necessary， but extremely difficult， skill to learn， but this book approaches the topic in a very accessible and clear way。 This book tells the story of a kind， friendly little girl who realizes that no matter how nice you are to people， it doesn’t mean they will always treat you with the same respect and kindness。 When the little girl comes up against a bully who re I received an advanced ebook copy of this book from NetGalley for review。 Setting boundaries with people who make you feel bad is a necessary， but extremely difficult， skill to learn， but this book approaches the topic in a very accessible and clear way。 This book tells the story of a kind， friendly little girl who realizes that no matter how nice you are to people， it doesn’t mean they will always treat you with the same respect and kindness。 When the little girl comes up against a bully who repeatedly tries to put her down despite all her efforts to be their friend， she realizes that she needs to set boundaries for her relationship with that child。 The author， a licensed clinical mental health counselor，， masterfully illustrates how this can be done， simply and effectively。 I honestly wish that I had read a story like this when I was younger， the line “‘cause someone who loves you won’t make you feel small” really summed it up so succinctly。 On top of the important message， the illustrations in the book are just gorgeous， I love the combination of watercolor washes with delicate ink detailing。 “The Not-So-Friendly Friend” is a must-read for parents on starting the conversation with your little ones about setting boundaries。 It also features a section at the end for parents & professionals， with important information about the benefits of setting boundaries for a child’s self-worth and self-respect， as well as suggestions for how to start a conversation with your child。 This book is an important addition to any library’s children’s collection。 。。。more
Ivonne Rovira
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Therapist Christina Furnival gives children advice on how to counter bullying in this slender book that includes an epilogue for parents to use to prepare children for bullies。 Kudos to Furnival for introducing the concepts of boundaries and self-worth; I only wish she had added that sometimes “friends” aren’t real friends and can get you into trouble。 But maybe that’s a book for an older audience than the target audience of 4- to 9-year-olds？ At any rate， there’s no quibbles about how charming Therapist Christina Furnival gives children advice on how to counter bullying in this slender book that includes an epilogue for parents to use to prepare children for bullies。 Kudos to Furnival for introducing the concepts of boundaries and self-worth; I only wish she had added that sometimes “friends” aren’t real friends and can get you into trouble。 But maybe that’s a book for an older audience than the target audience of 4- to 9-year-olds？ At any rate， there’s no quibbles about how charming Katie Dwyer’s illustrations are！In the interest of full disclosure， I received this book from Book Sirens and PESI Publishing， Inc。， in exchange for an honest review。 That said， it’s available to read for free on Kindle Unlimited。 。。。more
Libros Happy Sany
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The Not-So-Friendly Friend es un precioso libro infantil que transmite de una forma sencilla y directa un mensaje muy importante y que los niños deben aprender desde bien pequeños。Es una herramienta muy buena con la que los adultos pueden explicar a los niños qué es el acoso y cómo se comportan las personas en este tipo de situación además de cómo hacerle frente。 De cuándo o cómo es necesario establecer unos límites que no se deben sobrepasar en ningún caso。Reseña completa en: https://libroshapp The Not-So-Friendly Friend es un precioso libro infantil que transmite de una forma sencilla y directa un mensaje muy importante y que los niños deben aprender desde bien pequeños。Es una herramienta muy buena con la que los adultos pueden explicar a los niños qué es el acoso y cómo se comportan las personas en este tipo de situación además de cómo hacerle frente。 De cuándo o cómo es necesario establecer unos límites que no se deben sobrepasar en ningún caso。Reseña completa en: https://libroshappy。org/the-not-so-fr。。。 。。。more
Alex
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I’m so thankful to add this to my daughters bookshelf。 I just read it to my little one and I can’t wait for her to fully understand the words and concepts。 I fully understood the words and concepts and loved it！ I would have benefited from this book as a child and I’m so glad Christie Furnival wrote this so I can share it with my little Love when she comes of age。 10 out of 10！
Sarah Sharma
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Fantastic book for kids This is a fantastic book for kids to learn about bullying and safe， friendly， and healthy boundaries！ Good discussion tool。
Vivian Ardennisia
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Sooooo I'm reading all these picture books I got from Kindle Unlimited。 loved it。 Sooooo I'm reading all these picture books I got from Kindle Unlimited。 loved it。 。。。more
Amy Bell
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The Not-So-Friendly Friend is a must read for anyone who interacts with others。 This book shows kids how to deal with others that might not be the nicest or is just a downright bully。 This book gives language for kids to use that will help create boundaries to protect themselves and let the other person know that they won'e be able to run all over them。 I highly recommend this book for any kid that is in any type of school or social situation。 Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to review th The Not-So-Friendly Friend is a must read for anyone who interacts with others。 This book shows kids how to deal with others that might not be the nicest or is just a downright bully。 This book gives language for kids to use that will help create boundaries to protect themselves and let the other person know that they won'e be able to run all over them。 I highly recommend this book for any kid that is in any type of school or social situation。 Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to review this book for my honest opinion。 。。。more
Kate MacDonald
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This story is realistic and practical for young children navigating challenges in peer relationships。 I find many childrens' media has a plot line showing that every problem ends up solved， which sets false expectations。 I liked that The Not So Friendly Friend demonstrated two critical lessons: sometimes we get bad outcomes despite doing everything "right，" and that we can be respectful and kind but *set boundaries* with people who do not treat appropriately。As a psychologist who works with kids This story is realistic and practical for young children navigating challenges in peer relationships。 I find many childrens' media has a plot line showing that every problem ends up solved， which sets false expectations。 I liked that The Not So Friendly Friend demonstrated two critical lessons: sometimes we get bad outcomes despite doing everything "right，" and that we can be respectful and kind but *set boundaries* with people who do not treat appropriately。As a psychologist who works with kids， I know that children are often told that they should be friend with everyone， which does not give any realistic guidance on what to do when someone clearly is being unkind or unfair。 The Not so Friendly Friend provides a simple and appropriate explanation for young ones to respond to this challenge。 Well done。 。。。more
Randy
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Great tool for therapists and teachersAs a licensed clinical social worker， teaching young kids about healthy boundaries and good social skills is an everyday task。 This book will be incorporated into my sessions on this topic to help young kids understand that it is okay to set boundaries。
Kristin Pullman
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Cute！I will be using this book as a 2nd grade School Counselor！ I also love the illustrations。 I know my students will benefit from a discussion around boundaries。
Judy Li
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This is such a wonderful book that I’d highly recommend to every child。 The story is easy to read and follow with great rhymes。 The message behind the story is so important to empower children today about how to deal with bullying or unfriendly classmates。 The illustration are as beautiful as the story！
S。 E。
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THE NOT-SO-FRIENDLY FRIEND by Christina Furnival is a sweet story about loving ourselves enough to set boundaries and standing up for ourselves and tackles these important topics in a charming way。 Couple that with the fantastic illustrations and you have a winner。
Tia Perkin
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How does one handle a frenemy？So much of the traditional wisdom on the subject （"just walk away"， "ignore them"） does not address the nuance of navigating real-life relationships。 This book， however， offers an elegant solution: draw some boundaries。 Do not *allow* a so-called friend to treat you poorly， but welcome them they treat you right。 This is such an important skill for children and adults alike。 So simple。 So smart。 All in one beautifully illustrated， well written book。 I highly recommen How does one handle a frenemy？So much of the traditional wisdom on the subject （"just walk away"， "ignore them"） does not address the nuance of navigating real-life relationships。 This book， however， offers an elegant solution: draw some boundaries。 Do not *allow* a so-called friend to treat you poorly， but welcome them they treat you right。 This is such an important skill for children and adults alike。 So simple。 So smart。 All in one beautifully illustrated， well written book。 I highly recommend！ 。。。more
Jill S
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THE NOT-SO-FRIENDLY-FRIEND is a wonderful picture book with an essential lesson for kids about setting boundaries。 The lovely illustrations by Katie Dwyer complement a story about a girl whose “friend” mistreats her and who learns to stand up for herself in a positive healthy way。 You can tell that this story is written by a licensed mental health therapist who is an expert in sustaining healthy relationships。 The perfect read-aloud to foster important conversations about asserting yourself， fri THE NOT-SO-FRIENDLY-FRIEND is a wonderful picture book with an essential lesson for kids about setting boundaries。 The lovely illustrations by Katie Dwyer complement a story about a girl whose “friend” mistreats her and who learns to stand up for herself in a positive healthy way。 You can tell that this story is written by a licensed mental health therapist who is an expert in sustaining healthy relationships。 The perfect read-aloud to foster important conversations about asserting yourself， friendships， and more。 。。。more
Kristina Nearchou
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I love the simple clear message in this book about friendships and boundaries。 This book will definitely be on my September read-aloud list every year。 I love the rhyming sing-song vibe of the book and can imagine my students re-reading this story often。 This book will be a great classroom resource to help children navigate how to stand up and say I don't like how you are treating me you can go on your way if you are not going to be kind。 Lots of great conversation starters at the end of the boo I love the simple clear message in this book about friendships and boundaries。 This book will definitely be on my September read-aloud list every year。 I love the rhyming sing-song vibe of the book and can imagine my students re-reading this story often。 This book will be a great classroom resource to help children navigate how to stand up and say I don't like how you are treating me you can go on your way if you are not going to be kind。 Lots of great conversation starters at the end of the book that educators and parents will appreciate。 5 stars from me！ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 。。。more
Lisa Bournelis
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As sweet rhyming story， with a profound message。 In a world where children find themselves on the receiving end of bullying， this simple / child friendly story empowers young readers to find constructive and positive ways to set boundaries with those who may not be reciprocating in an appropriate manner。 I love the illustrations and the positive messages - particularly the piece at the end giving therapists and parents advise on how to use this book。 As a parent to a sensitive child， I also deep As sweet rhyming story， with a profound message。 In a world where children find themselves on the receiving end of bullying， this simple / child friendly story empowers young readers to find constructive and positive ways to set boundaries with those who may not be reciprocating in an appropriate manner。 I love the illustrations and the positive messages - particularly the piece at the end giving therapists and parents advise on how to use this book。 As a parent to a sensitive child， I also deeply appreciate the positive empowerment of the message - that if the bully will not play appropriately， they are welcome to move on their own way。 。。。more
Carolyn Dubisch
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A sweet children's book told in verse。 A little girl learns that when your heart is open and you are kind you will make friends， but not everyone else is kind。 She has to set boundaries and protect herself。 The illustrations in this book are just beautiful as well as the design。 The message is one every child will learn and learning it through a beautiful picture book like this is the best way。 Pick this one up for your child or classroom， it's invaluable。 A sweet children's book told in verse。 A little girl learns that when your heart is open and you are kind you will make friends， but not everyone else is kind。 She has to set boundaries and protect herself。 The illustrations in this book are just beautiful as well as the design。 The message is one every child will learn and learning it through a beautiful picture book like this is the best way。 Pick this one up for your child or classroom， it's invaluable。 。。。more
RoshReviews
，
As parents， we tell our children to be kind and friendly with everyone。 But in the course of giving this advice， we tend to forget that there are bullies too in this world。 All of us know at least one bully who doesn’t listen to reason but insists on getting things their way。 For children （and adults）， a bully is difficult to deal with。 That’s where this book steps in。 The biblical adage of “Do unto others as you would like others to do unto you” is something I firmly believe in。 The child in th As parents， we tell our children to be kind and friendly with everyone。 But in the course of giving this advice， we tend to forget that there are bullies too in this world。 All of us know at least one bully who doesn’t listen to reason but insists on getting things their way。 For children （and adults）， a bully is difficult to deal with。 That’s where this book steps in。 The biblical adage of “Do unto others as you would like others to do unto you” is something I firmly believe in。 The child in this story also follows the same approach。 She is sweet and friendly with everyone。 But despite her best efforts， one of the children always fights with her。 After trying harder and speaking with her parents， she realises that she needs to set some boundaries not just for herself but in how she allows others to treat her。 The idea of the book is great， the execution is phenomenal。 The author is a mother and a licensed mental health therapist， and she uses both these experiences to convey a highly practical message to kind children who get disheartened when their efforts aren’t reciprocated。 The setting up of friendship boundaries is not a common topic in parent-child conversations。 So this book is a much-needed one。 What I also loved is how the author focussed on the child’s feelings of ineptitude when the bully didn’t respond to her kind gestures in an accepting way。 This is what usually happens with sensitive children; they always assume that the fault is their own。 But the book puts across the point very clearly that beyond a level， we need to say “I’m done！” This is a lesson worth remembering for adults too。I am slightly apprehensive of how far it will work with physically stronger bullies。 There are always kids who use their physical advantage to attack younger/weaker children。 For such cases， I'm sceptical of the effectiveness of the strategy mentioned in the book。 At the same time， the content does say that when the child needs help， they should approach an adult for help。 I hope that sorts out this issue at least a few times without the bullied child being called a tattletale。 There are lovely conversation starters and discussion questions at the end of the book that parents/guardians can refer to in order to have some stimulating chats with their kids。 The book is written in rhythmic verse and it implements the rhythmic style in a lovely sing-song way such that the lines flows smoothly。 So this book would make for a wonderful read-aloud companion。 The font used in the story is a clear non-serif type set to a large size。 The language is very simple。 This also makes it a good independent read for young readers。Absolutely no complaints about the artwork on the cover and the illustrations in this book。 They are beautifully sketched， inclusive and in perfect sync with the text。 All in all， this is a beautifully created book with an equally beautiful message。 Heartily recommended。 4。5 stars from me。Thank you to NetGalley and PESI Publishing， Inc。 for the ARC of the book in exchange for an honest review。***********************Join me on the Facebook group， Readers Forever！， for more reviews， book-related discussions and fun。 。。。more
Laura
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I thought this was a FANTASTIC book for children， about a very important topic: bullying。 Loved the illustrations and the sing-song poem-type rhythm to the words which made it fun to read out loud。 Also loved the discussion points at the end。 The language is very approachable for the targeted age， and some points that might be slightly over the child's head are further discussed at the end so you can have a conversation with the child about it。 Absolutely would recommend this book。 Thanks to Net I thought this was a FANTASTIC book for children， about a very important topic: bullying。 Loved the illustrations and the sing-song poem-type rhythm to the words which made it fun to read out loud。 Also loved the discussion points at the end。 The language is very approachable for the targeted age， and some points that might be slightly over the child's head are further discussed at the end so you can have a conversation with the child about it。 Absolutely would recommend this book。 Thanks to Netgalley for an advanced reader's copy of this book。 。。。more
Srivalli Rekha
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4 Stars The book is written by a licensed mental health therapist and mom， Christina Furnival。 She uses a simple yet effective story to show that kids should start setting healthy boundaries and assertively deal with bullying。 While I’m not sure how much of it would actually work in real life （some kids can be very aggressive）， this book sure is a good place to start teaching about the importance of boundaries。 As someone who believes in this rule， I like how the author introduced the topic to t 4 Stars The book is written by a licensed mental health therapist and mom， Christina Furnival。 She uses a simple yet effective story to show that kids should start setting healthy boundaries and assertively deal with bullying。 While I’m not sure how much of it would actually work in real life （some kids can be very aggressive）， this book sure is a good place to start teaching about the importance of boundaries。 As someone who believes in this rule， I like how the author introduced the topic to the younger folk。 Instead of telling kids to simply be nice （which is also perceived as being a pushover）， the book shows that one can be assertive and kind。 It’s important to have a healthy friends circle， and that means， saying a firm gentle yet firm no to bullies。Of course， the book should be read by adults and kids。 If adults are unwilling to understand bullying， kids are bound to suffer。 The illustrations are breezy， light， and cheerful。 There’s a set of questions at the end to help start a discussion about setting healthy boundaries。 It’ll encourage adults and kids to take the much-necessary step in the right direction。 I received an ARC from NetGalley and PESI Publishing and am voluntarily leaving a review。 #TheNotSoFriendlyFriend #NetGalley 。。。more
Reading_ Tamishly
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I love everything about this book。 Even us adults who are reading this to the kids can learn the basic means on how to deal with bullies and bullying。The message is clear。 But also， it's also appropriate in its approach and how it's practical on what it suggests。I appreciate the question and answer towards the end。 It would help a lot in trying to explain regarding bullying and on who's a bully， and how to set a boundary and what to let the bullies know， what's acceptable and what's the limit。Re I love everything about this book。 Even us adults who are reading this to the kids can learn the basic means on how to deal with bullies and bullying。The message is clear。 But also， it's also appropriate in its approach and how it's practical on what it suggests。I appreciate the question and answer towards the end。 It would help a lot in trying to explain regarding bullying and on who's a bully， and how to set a boundary and what to let the bullies know， what's acceptable and what's the limit。Regarding the cover and illustrations， I am quite impressed。 The artwork is really good。 Kudos， artist！Well done。 The team is spectacular！Thank you， author/artist and the publisher， for the advance reading copy。 。。。more
Britt
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