The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness
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- Create Date：2021-11-18 08:51:19
- Update Date：2025-09-06
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- Author：kyle mann
- ISBN：1684512719
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Summary
To show the world you're a good person—and also to avoid getting canceled and having your life ruined by a Twitter mob—you need to get WOKE。 In The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness， the writers of satirical sensation The Babylon Bee tell you how to choose your pronouns， blame everyone else for your problems， and show the world how virtuous you are with virtue-signaling profile pictures and stunning and brave hashtags。 A tongue-in-cheek guide to the far Left’s obsession with intersectional insanity， The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness will help you laugh at the state of our culture so you don’t cry。
Reviews
Lisa
，
READ THIS BOOK！I thought it was going to be all satire about "wokeness" and "how to be woke"。。。。。but it was so close to the truth that I started wondering。。。。。is it REALLY satire？ If you pay any attention to what's happening in the USA right now， you'll understand what I mean。 It's so close to the truth （spot on in so many places） that you， too will say to yourself， "self， is this really a parody or is this truthfully how they think？" I HIGHLY advise reading this if you have one ounce of non-wok READ THIS BOOK！I thought it was going to be all satire about "wokeness" and "how to be woke"。。。。。but it was so close to the truth that I started wondering。。。。。is it REALLY satire？ If you pay any attention to what's happening in the USA right now， you'll understand what I mean。 It's so close to the truth （spot on in so many places） that you， too will say to yourself， "self， is this really a parody or is this truthfully how they think？" I HIGHLY advise reading this if you have one ounce of non-wokeness in your body。 Laugh at it。 Cry at it。 Send copies to your non-woke friends and family， like I did。 Enjoy it and then cry yourself to sleep knowing that you will never be as "woke" as the people who the book is talking about。 You can't be if you are white or straight or have a job or don't live in your mother's basement。If you are a whiny little brat who is "triggered" or "offended" by everything， then by all means do NOT read this book。。。。because you will see yourself and become even more "triggered" and "offended"。 。。。more
Bill Zawrotny
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Nonstop laughs from start to finish。 And then it strikes you exactly how spot on the book really is， and it gets a little scary。
Ira Smith
，
Hysterical， and a bomb dropped into the lunacy that’s wokeness， The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness is one of the funniest and most satirical books I have read in a long time。 Taking deadly and hilarious aim at the insanity that is currently engulfing the Left， the book just devastates the concept of being woke。 One of the best things I’ve read in a while。
Bill Pence
，
If you are tired of all of the wokeness in our culture， this hilarious new book from the folks at The Babylon Bee is for you。 On the other hand， if you want to be woke， and thus be on the right side of history， this book is also be for you。 I’ve been a fan of the Christian satire site The Babylon Bee for several years。 The book is creative and extremely funny as it looks at wokeness in America （and it doesn’t even touch on our military （perhaps in volume 2）， and uses stick figure illustrations t If you are tired of all of the wokeness in our culture， this hilarious new book from the folks at The Babylon Bee is for you。 On the other hand， if you want to be woke， and thus be on the right side of history， this book is also be for you。 I’ve been a fan of the Christian satire site The Babylon Bee for several years。 The book is creative and extremely funny as it looks at wokeness in America （and it doesn’t even touch on our military （perhaps in volume 2）， and uses stick figure illustrations throughout。 To give you a flavor of the book， here is their definition of what being woke means: “Realizing the problems in your life are not your fault。 In fact， when you really think about it， nothing is your fault。 Blame everyone else for your problems。 This is the first step to being woke。”The authors begin by stating “Let’s start things out here by getting one important thing out of the way: You are a racist， misogynist， patriarchal， and bigoted oppressor。” Some of the topics the book addresses are rioting （sorry， peaceful protesting in the name of justice）， intersectionality （don’t worry， there is a glossary at the end of the book）， tweets for white people to sound less racist， religion， race （one of the most important keys to being woke is to think about race at all times）， feminism， the LGBTQ+ movement， pronouns （guides are provided to help you pick and display on social media the best pronouns for yourself）， the true story of American history， how to be offended about everything， microaggressions （remember， there is a glossary）， how to guide your church on its woke journey， SCIENCE， climate change， Black Lives Matter， a guide to rioting （what to wear and bring）， fighting the culture war， entertainment， how to use social media， education， and raising woke children and teens。 The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness is a hilarious and creative look at wokeness in America。 The book is certainly not for everyone， and is guaranteed to offend some。 Below are some of my favorite quotes from the book: •tIntersectionality is a concept wherein you can add oppression points to yourself for every oppressed identity you can even remotely identify with。 Even if it’s a stretch。 The game， then， here in Wokeland is to find as many of these identities as possible and apply these labels to yourself so you can feel righteous—and so you can get more money from the government and blame everyone else for your problems。 •tIt’s important to remember that your problems are not your fault。 They are the fault of the oppressor class。 Your parents？ Oppressors。 Your teachers？ Oppressors。 People with a different skin color than you？ Oppressors。 Anyone who disagrees with your woke worldview？ You guessed it。 Oppressors。 •tAny religion is acceptable except Christianity。 Yes， we prefer if you’re an atheist who simply bows to the whims of the state—but any religion that’s OK with social justice is useful for us woke folks。 The main thing is that your religion must conform to every demand of wokeness。 •tIf you’re a white Christian American male， you’ve got a real problem， because your entire existence is basically a plague upon the earth。 You need to spend all your days online apologizing to people from superior countries for the place you’re ashamed to call home。 •tRace is a social construct created by white people to excuse their oppression of black and brown bodies。 It’s also the most important thing about you。 •tOne of the most important keys to being woke is to think about race at all times。 Every time you meet people， you should be thinking primarily of their skin color， because it’s their single most defining characteristic。 •tTo see race from a woke perspective， you must understand that there are really only two races: white people and the oppressed。 •tIf you really care about the oppressed minorities of the world， you will make every effort to be less white。 •tNo matter what gender you identify as， you MUST be a feminist if you want to be part of the woke movement。 •tIn order to understand trans reality， you must accept the idea that gender is no longer a biological reality， but rather a social construct used to—yes， that’s right—OPPRESS PEOPLE。 •tPronouns are everything。 They are your badge—the identifying marker that will separate you from the outsiders， the science deniers， and the unbelievers。 Pronouns are your mark that identify you as being on the right side of history。 They are how everyone will know you’re woke！ •tEvery little thing that happens in life must reinforce the idea that everyone around us is an oppressor and we are innocent， oppressed victims。 •tMicroaggressions are like attacks on your person， except your attacker doesn’t even know they’re attacking you。 •tOne of the easiest ways to tell woke people from non-woke people is how much systemic oppression you can see in everyday life。 If you’re woke， you will see oppression in everything， even if it’s not there。 •tMake sure to preach long sermons on the collective guilt of whiteness until your church members feel totally rotten about all the bad things other white people did in the past。 •tHundreds of years ago， people followed religion。 Today， we follow SCIENCE， which is smarter and far superior to religion and must replace religion in every corner of society。 •tAs a follower of wokeness， you must train yourself to have the discernment to tell good SCIENCE from bad “science。” Simply put， if it doesn’t advance the woke agenda， the “science” is false and should be rejected。 •tYou must vote for candidates who are on the right side of history。 This means Democrats。 No matter how immoral they are， you must vote for them if you want to go down in the history books as a Very Good Person。 •tYou can also fight the culture war by buying the right products and supporting companies that virtue-signal that they believe the right things （which is basically all of them）。 •tAccording to woke doctrine， the main purpose of entertainment is actually to beat you over the head with relentless woke messaging while constantly reminding you of injustice that happens all around you。 •tThe number one rule of education is this: Parents are the worst。 They must be treated as an adversary and obstacle to your students’ woke enlightenment。 •tModern public school teachers have spent years studying the art of indoctrination， so it’s best to leave most of the teen-raising to them。 Where else will your kids learn porn literacy and intersectional anti-capitalist activism？ •tCollege will take your kid across the woke finish line。 These people are true masters。 Usually within one semester， your kid will be hating his conservative relatives， throwing bricks， and burning businesses in Minneapolis。 。。。more
Jack
，
scary when satire becomes truthEven though this is more of a graphic novel（comic book） it is spot on on its description of wokeness。 It’s a bizarre social movement that is doing serious harm to the country。 The only good news is that I believe it will eventually kill the Marxist movements within the Democratic party’s leftist wing。 Wokeness is so blatantly screwed up that people are bound to turn on it。 This book is a great contribution to the movement’s end。
Elliott
，
I’m hardly the target demographic for this book my own politics are decidedly left wing after all but that doesn’t preclude appreciation for good humor and certainly not humor that satirizes the left。 Charlie Kaufman’s novel Antkind mocks the same pretensions as The Babylon Bee’s Guide to Wokeness so well my fellow shuttle riders no doubt thought I was deranged as I was laughing so hard。 The late-great Marty Feldman of Young Frankenstein fame could charm the hell out of even the most humorless o I’m hardly the target demographic for this book my own politics are decidedly left wing after all but that doesn’t preclude appreciation for good humor and certainly not humor that satirizes the left。 Charlie Kaufman’s novel Antkind mocks the same pretensions as The Babylon Bee’s Guide to Wokeness so well my fellow shuttle riders no doubt thought I was deranged as I was laughing so hard。 The late-great Marty Feldman of Young Frankenstein fame could charm the hell out of even the most humorless of Trotskyites。 What am I supposed to do with something like this？“Racism is bad， but you know what’s worse than racism？ Secret racism。 Many of us who go about our lives thinking we don’t hate people for their race are actually secret racists。 The racism is just below the surface， simmering like a delicious beef stew in a Crockpot。 The kind of stew your mom leaves on for twelve hours and you can smell it simmering throughout the house all day， making your mouth water as you think about dinner time。”Is this supposed to be satirical？Is this a shaggy dog story？ Am I being given a recipe for crockpot stew？Some attempt at hybridization？ I don’t expect a working philosophy from humor regardless of political belief and I think therein lies the rub。 The Babylon Bee works by telling a joke and then explaining that joke。 They don’t finish explaining that first joke before they tell another which they then explain and so on。 Now， it’s also worth pointing out that the goal here is to not make the audience laugh。 It’s to make the *correct* audience laugh *correctly。* You’re not supposed to laugh at the insecurities of the comic as in stand-up。 You’re not supposed to come up with your own idea of what “secret racism” looks like。 There’s no leveling aspect where everyone gets to feel a little silly。 You’re supposed to laugh at how “secret racism” is like mother’s beef stew even though the idea of a “simmering pot” is so cliche it’s part of the instructions on the back of a soup can。 The book just doesn’t trust its audience which is the necessary thing for humor to work。 Observe: “You know what’s worse than racism？ Secret racism。” Cut。 Gone is everything else from the excerpt I showed。 Granted， this doesn’t entirely work either but the improvement is that each individual in the book’s audience can come up with their own idea of what “secret racism” is far better than any other individual could describe。 But， having waded through comments of Babylon Bee fans， and many of their articles I don’t think there are actual people who truly laugh at its output。 The Babylon Bee isn’t about humor so much as it’s about being the opposite of that smug self-righteousness it’s ostensibly skewering。 It’s about laughing at the imaginary people who are “triggered” by the purchase。 Instead of being consistently outraged by marketing shifts， and Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friends testicles it’s a way to put that outrage on someone else which is understandable。 I cannot imagine the energy it takes to be constantly mad at fictitious liberals instead of the Hasbro executives who took away Mister Potato Head’s potato schlong。 I imagine it must be exhausting enough to almost make the Babylon Bee funny。 。。。more
Junglebiker
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A satirical look at the state of political correctness in it's current "woke" form。 I enjoyed the humor， though I was also mildly depressed that we find ourselves in a situation where such a book could even come into existence。 This book is sure to offend the woke， but that's okay， I mean after all， what DOESN'T offend the woke？ Ultimately， the Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness does a decent job of pointing out the general inconsistency， pettiness， and unsustainable nature of the woke worldview。 I A satirical look at the state of political correctness in it's current "woke" form。 I enjoyed the humor， though I was also mildly depressed that we find ourselves in a situation where such a book could even come into existence。 This book is sure to offend the woke， but that's okay， I mean after all， what DOESN'T offend the woke？ Ultimately， the Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness does a decent job of pointing out the general inconsistency， pettiness， and unsustainable nature of the woke worldview。 It left me wondering， "Why would anybody want to live like this？ What possible life could be improved by adopting this philosophy？" 。。。more
Yvonne Reynolds
，
I cannot tell you how many times I laughed out loud reading this book！ If you are a fan of The Babylon Bee， you will love this book。 I am sure it will be required reading in all high schools across our country before the next presidential election… 🤣I received an online version of this book to preview in return for my honest opinion。
Erik Barr
，
What is the Babylon Bee？ It’s a satire empire。 What is Wokeness？ It’s when you can blame all your weaknesses and failures on racism， misogyny， christianity， or anything or anyone traditional or successful in America。 The Babylon Bee spells it out and gives you some pointers， e。g。 “Learn tricks to be less white…Get some albino friends…”What is good satire？ 90% truth with the rest funny nonsense。 Sometimes the “news” comes too close to that percentage without being funny。 I choose satire， and the What is the Babylon Bee？ It’s a satire empire。 What is Wokeness？ It’s when you can blame all your weaknesses and failures on racism， misogyny， christianity， or anything or anyone traditional or successful in America。 The Babylon Bee spells it out and gives you some pointers， e。g。 “Learn tricks to be less white…Get some albino friends…”What is good satire？ 90% truth with the rest funny nonsense。 Sometimes the “news” comes too close to that percentage without being funny。 I choose satire， and the Babylon Bee does good work。Another thing good satire does is tease the reader。 We don’t just want the other guy lampooned， we want to be shown some of our own faults too。 Just some。 Sure， rich， spoiled teenagers are ruining the world， but i do some damage all by myself。 Maybe you do too…I laughed hardest in Chapter 8。 Your results may vary…Enjoy it。Thank you for writing this book Brandon。 。。。more
Keven Willis
，
Let me just say， I love The Bee！ Their satire is hilarious and spot on when it comes to the whack-a-do leftist！ It’s really funny how they expose / poke fun on the leftist ideology that has them twisting into knots just to try to make sense of their “social justice” ideas。 Buy this book， it’s an extremely fun read！！
Brian Clearwater
，
Laughing out loud。。。Crying inside。。。It has been said laughter is the BEST medicine。。。It the condition and direction our collective world is making you ill then this is all the Medicine you need！ LOVED this page turning laugher！"Wokism" is the new religion of the Leftist Ideological Overseers and this book finds humor is the best way to deal with it and I have come to agree！Read This Treatise and Laugh！！！！！ Laughing out loud。。。Crying inside。。。It has been said laughter is the BEST medicine。。。It the condition and direction our collective world is making you ill then this is all the Medicine you need！ LOVED this page turning laugher！"Wokism" is the new religion of the Leftist Ideological Overseers and this book finds humor is the best way to deal with it and I have come to agree！Read This Treatise and Laugh！！！！！ 。。。more
Whitney Garrett
，
Having read this guide and the Bee’s previous guide on perfect Christianity， I am now not only a perfect Christian， but also woke as flowerbed！ As much as I hate to admit it， I was once a based sinner who needed God’s grace。 But thanks to this guide I’m now woke and realize all my flaws are due to the patriarchy。 Now that I realize nothing is my fault， I can happily live my life yelling at other people when I make a mistake。 At first I worried that my whiteness would hold me down on the victim h Having read this guide and the Bee’s previous guide on perfect Christianity， I am now not only a perfect Christian， but also woke as flowerbed！ As much as I hate to admit it， I was once a based sinner who needed God’s grace。 But thanks to this guide I’m now woke and realize all my flaws are due to the patriarchy。 Now that I realize nothing is my fault， I can happily live my life yelling at other people when I make a mistake。 At first I worried that my whiteness would hold me down on the victim hierarchy， but this guide helped me realize that I can climb the ladder by giving myself non-binary pronouns。 I am pleased to inform you all that I am finally able to live my truth as the Doom-gendered person I’ve always been since this week。 My pronouns are Rip/Tear。 Now that I’ve read this guide， I’m prepared to signal my virtue all over God’s green earth！ And I’ll keep it green through Marxist teachings！ Thank you， Babylon Bee！（All joking aside， this book was the Bee’s usual mix of almost-too-real satire paired with delightfully funny infographics that were almost worth the price of the book in and of themselves。 The Bee does a great job of showing where woke logic eventually leads in a way that will make you laugh so you don’t cry。 And I dearly love to laugh。） 。。。more
Rhonda
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I got an advance copy of this book！ Have always been a fan of The Babylon Bee and their satire！ This book is the best yet！ Lots of people have left very eloquently worded reviews that I can't even begin to match。 While it is satire， it is so close to the truth in places I am left "speechless" and just shaking my head！ Definitely buying several people this book for Christmas！ I got an advance copy of this book！ Have always been a fan of The Babylon Bee and their satire！ This book is the best yet！ Lots of people have left very eloquently worded reviews that I can't even begin to match。 While it is satire， it is so close to the truth in places I am left "speechless" and just shaking my head！ Definitely buying several people this book for Christmas！ 。。。more
Chrissyml
，
The Babylon Bee's Guide to Wokeness was quite funny。 It shows the true absurdity of the cult of Wokeness。 The Babylon Bee's Guide to Wokeness was quite funny。 It shows the true absurdity of the cult of Wokeness。 。。。more
Dr。 Alison Marvin
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I pre-ordered this book on Amazon and then received a preview digital draft copy from the Babylon Bee in exchange for my honest review。If you are a regular reader of the Babylon Bee you will know what to expect， and you will not be disappointed。For those of you who are not familiar with the Babylon Bee， think "Like The Onion， only funny" - and more right/libertarian leaning。There are so many ways to satirize "wokeness"， which means that there is plenty of funny stuff in the book。Unfortunately， t I pre-ordered this book on Amazon and then received a preview digital draft copy from the Babylon Bee in exchange for my honest review。If you are a regular reader of the Babylon Bee you will know what to expect， and you will not be disappointed。For those of you who are not familiar with the Babylon Bee， think "Like The Onion， only funny" - and more right/libertarian leaning。There are so many ways to satirize "wokeness"， which means that there is plenty of funny stuff in the book。Unfortunately， the book lost a star because of two reasons: first， many times it seemed to try too hard， leading to too many unfunny sections and， second， it uncomfortablly "crossed the line" far too often。 Them's the risks with satire。 I think more critical editing would have saved the day。 Cut out some of the more iffy bits， and end up with a funnier and sharper， although shorter book。 。。。more
Sam
，
Tired of trying to figure out all the craziness on the left？ This tongue in cheek guide provides helpful information on topics like "How to be offended by everything！" Truth + humor = satire。 This book helps you laugh instead of cry at the state of society。It's hard to pick a favorite chapter， but the one about how to make sure your church is woke was hilarious。 A lot of people on my Christmas list will be getting this book this year。（I pre-ordered this book on Amazon at full price and was given Tired of trying to figure out all the craziness on the left？ This tongue in cheek guide provides helpful information on topics like "How to be offended by everything！" Truth + humor = satire。 This book helps you laugh instead of cry at the state of society。It's hard to pick a favorite chapter， but the one about how to make sure your church is woke was hilarious。 A lot of people on my Christmas list will be getting this book this year。（I pre-ordered this book on Amazon at full price and was given early access to a soft copy in exchange for an honest review） 。。。more
Rongjon
，
I always thought that being a white man， who does not believe he is a racist， made me （based on the principals of Intersectionality） a double extra special evil racist。 But， NO！！ THE BABYLON BEE DOES THE MATH！！！ （see page 7） I’m only just a racist！！！！ Which puts me at the head of the class for being a woke white man。 Right？Initially， I found the book to be LOL funny。 But it wasn’t long before this new religion took hold of me and I began to embrace all aspects of wokeness。 I mean – punching Nazi I always thought that being a white man， who does not believe he is a racist， made me （based on the principals of Intersectionality） a double extra special evil racist。 But， NO！！ THE BABYLON BEE DOES THE MATH！！！ （see page 7） I’m only just a racist！！！！ Which puts me at the head of the class for being a woke white man。 Right？Initially， I found the book to be LOL funny。 But it wasn’t long before this new religion took hold of me and I began to embrace all aspects of wokeness。 I mean – punching Nazis in the face？ Who doesn’t get a stiffy just thinking about it？ And， as a wokarista， anyone I say is a Nazi， IS A NAZI！！！ This book is TRANS-formative。 I quickly went from being a racist hetero white man to identifying （according to the OPPRESSION IDENTIFIER page 12） as a Hirsute Transsexual Eskimo Who Can’t Spell for Crap。 Under the guidance of this guide I soon recognized the blasé-ness （if not blas-bee-ness） of this identity。 Now （until someone copies me ） I’m a Poetically Inclined Pansexual Vogon Pentaped With a Deviated Septum！！！ My pronouns are Foogly and Goobly！！！ Use them correctly or I’ll get BLM and or Antifa to burn your house down。Penultimate Bottom Line （sort of）。 If you wanna get Woke， you gotta BUY THIS BOOK！！！ If you don’t… :（P。S。 to the DOJ， FBI， CIA， NSA ， Facebook， Twitter and all other enforcement arms of the Woke。 I’m really， really woke now。 Please don’t Vince Foster me or Waco my house。 。。。more
Rita
，
In the dire situation of this country and where we are headed， everyone needs to be prepared to be 'woke，' in order to navigate our new reality！ It is hard to accept the fact that there are Americans who think this new 'wokeness' is ok， but they have not been an American as long as I have。So to be prepared to lay down and take this shit， read this book。 It will prepare you and even better， you will get a chuckle while we go down the toilet as a country。 Enjoy your journey。P。S。 Wokeness = weaknes In the dire situation of this country and where we are headed， everyone needs to be prepared to be 'woke，' in order to navigate our new reality！ It is hard to accept the fact that there are Americans who think this new 'wokeness' is ok， but they have not been an American as long as I have。So to be prepared to lay down and take this shit， read this book。 It will prepare you and even better， you will get a chuckle while we go down the toilet as a country。 Enjoy your journey。P。S。 Wokeness = weakness 。。。more
David Golladay
，
When you’re battling for the culture you don’t pull your punches。 This mercilessly funny book is a perfect antidote to the woke assault on our society。 Throughout its pages， the writers pummel the woke movement with withering ridicule， skewering its inherent contradictions and lack of self-awareness to great comic effect。Effective satire is always based on truth， and here the Babylon Bee creatives draw upon their keen observations of wokism。 For example， in one passage they point out the quasi-r When you’re battling for the culture you don’t pull your punches。 This mercilessly funny book is a perfect antidote to the woke assault on our society。 Throughout its pages， the writers pummel the woke movement with withering ridicule， skewering its inherent contradictions and lack of self-awareness to great comic effect。Effective satire is always based on truth， and here the Babylon Bee creatives draw upon their keen observations of wokism。 For example， in one passage they point out the quasi-religious fervor of woke zealots: “Once you see the world through woke eyes， you’ll never be the same， and you’ll never be able to stop telling your friends about your new beliefs。 Kind of like when you join CrossFit or become vegan—or get an air fryer。”The wit that has made the Bee so successful as an online entity is on full display here， not only in the writing but in the scores of knee-slappingly funny graphics — such as the one that shows point-by-point why micro-aggressions are deadlier than hand grenades。 The humor ranges from merely grin-inducing to laugh-out-loud。 While some chapters are funnier than others， the book’s creators are to be commended for maintaining consistent chuckles over the course of 200 pages。In these trying times， it can be a challenge not to be discouraged by the prevalence of woke thinking throughout our institutions。 This book will lift your spirits by making you laugh and it will arm you with plenty of zingers for pointing out the fallacies and incoherence of the woke worldview。 。。。more
Greg Denson
，
You just have to get this book and read it！ Once again， Babylon Bee has nailed it。 They know the truth， and it will set you free。 And besides this， nothing I've ever read from Babylon Bee was dull and boring。 You're going to be enlightened， entertained， and smiling！ You just have to get this book and read it！ Once again， Babylon Bee has nailed it。 They know the truth， and it will set you free。 And besides this， nothing I've ever read from Babylon Bee was dull and boring。 You're going to be enlightened， entertained， and smiling！ 。。。more
Brian Lewis
，
A WOKE-up CallThe Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness is a definitive guide to understanding the words， actions， and thinking （if you can call it that） of the “woke” crowd。 In typical Babylon Bee satirical style， it explains how you are a victim of oppression and racism， sexism and microaggressions， incorrectly taught history and improperly interpreted religion， whether you know it or not。 So you may as well know it， and rejoice in your victimhood。 While this book reads like a playbook for the “woke” A WOKE-up CallThe Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness is a definitive guide to understanding the words， actions， and thinking （if you can call it that） of the “woke” crowd。 In typical Babylon Bee satirical style， it explains how you are a victim of oppression and racism， sexism and microaggressions， incorrectly taught history and improperly interpreted religion， whether you know it or not。 So you may as well know it， and rejoice in your victimhood。 While this book reads like a playbook for the “woke” crowd， it is a warning – a real wake-up call， done with equal parts of satire and humor – for the rest of us。 。。。more
Jeff Bull
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Was excited to get an early copy of this book as a long-time follower of the now unleashed from the campus woke movement。 It is hard for normal people living in the real world to understand just how illogical and cancerous wokeness is - it's almost literally the world upside down。Fortunately， it's not all tears in watching the destruction of Western Civilization and fears in wondering if it can be stopped。。。 enter the Babylon Bee and their Guide to Wokeness！ I may quibble with some of the specif Was excited to get an early copy of this book as a long-time follower of the now unleashed from the campus woke movement。 It is hard for normal people living in the real world to understand just how illogical and cancerous wokeness is - it's almost literally the world upside down。Fortunately， it's not all tears in watching the destruction of Western Civilization and fears in wondering if it can be stopped。。。 enter the Babylon Bee and their Guide to Wokeness！ I may quibble with some of the specific details （like Columbus's responsibility for endless breadsticks at Olive Garden）， but it's nice to have some laughs！ Like a lot of them。 If you're into that sort of thing。I would highly recommend this book， especially to those new to the movement， for clarity on how to be a better human （or is it "breathing thing"） in several easy steps。 Great preparation to have lower expectations and fewer conversations with others。 Mask up and head down comrades！！！ On to the glorious victory！Thanks Bee！ 。。。more
Mel Cool
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I was introduced to the Babylon Bee when a patron donated to our church something called “The Sacred Texts of the Babylon Bee”。 That weighty， beautiful volume provided this needy teacher with a guidebook for understanding the topsy-turvy world into which my brother priests and I were thrust into because of the pandemic of 2020。From that donated Sacred Texts book， I have created dozens of lessons that have helped over 9，000 unemployed Simplex Priests regain sanity， self-respect and gainful employ I was introduced to the Babylon Bee when a patron donated to our church something called “The Sacred Texts of the Babylon Bee”。 That weighty， beautiful volume provided this needy teacher with a guidebook for understanding the topsy-turvy world into which my brother priests and I were thrust into because of the pandemic of 2020。From that donated Sacred Texts book， I have created dozens of lessons that have helped over 9，000 unemployed Simplex Priests regain sanity， self-respect and gainful employment。 I have a lot of respect for that book。 It never leaves my sight。So， when I received my advanced copy of “The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness” I was hoping for similar quality and helpful guidance。 I prayed to God that this new volume would also help me in my mission to painlessly laicize these good men who were so callously tossed into the streets。 I am happy to report that this book exceeded my dreams。 Much emotional pain will be dissolved or avoided as I share the wisdom contained within its colorful covers。Organized into twelve chapters， same as the number of apostles， each chapter is an encounter with an aspect of a new social reality。 The editors shed brilliant light on some very painful topics， the very same problems that I must discuss with my fellow unemployed priests as part of their outplacement process。 The book covers topics such as: how this new society worships the earth， how they discover their inner oppression， why they believe that their color is their character， even “their” entertainment is just another propaganda opportunity。 It’s a heavy， different world these men are walking into and I am going to do my best to help them cope。These unemployed priests are all innocent， “straight arrows”: they don’t have a chance of survival in this new world。 I am hoping that “The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness” can help me explain to them these new perverted ways of the land。 I’m confident the lessons I’m developing from this guide will help my brother priests。 The pedagogy seems solid。 The book is filled with colorful graphics and hands-on tools which I will use in my lessons。 Additionally， since these men are all self-admittedly low-IQ individuals， the copious illustrations bring sometimes difficult and abstract concepts down to “idiot’s level”， which is exactly the reading level required。 （Ever try to explain “intersectionality” to a group of men possessing barely a sixth-grade education？ One graphic I swiped from the book beautifully achieved that educational objective in minutes！ I was amazed how quickly and firmly they grasped it。）To the editors of this guide， I extend a hearty congratulations。 Be assured that the insights you shared in this book have already lessened emotional pain and improved the lives of thousands of unemployed Simplex priests around the country。 You have rendered to my brothers a great service。 I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your good work。Sincerely， Mark Renhaus， SP， Director of Outplacement Services， Holy Order of Simplex， Albany， NY。 。。。more
Lewis Smith
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Brace yourself！ You may pull a muscle or pop an artery as you laugh at the satire presented in the hilarious new book The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness。 Every minute spent in appreciation of the Guide’s subtle mockery slamming wokeness was delightful。 However， understanding satire is not easily done for some people。The problem with satire is the reader must be in on the joke。 If the reader doesn’t know to what actual thing the writer is referring， then the reader has no idea what the mockery is Brace yourself！ You may pull a muscle or pop an artery as you laugh at the satire presented in the hilarious new book The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness。 Every minute spent in appreciation of the Guide’s subtle mockery slamming wokeness was delightful。 However， understanding satire is not easily done for some people。The problem with satire is the reader must be in on the joke。 If the reader doesn’t know to what actual thing the writer is referring， then the reader has no idea what the mockery is all about。 And by not seeing the joke， the reader believes it to be factual。 The Bee’s satire is usually so delicately and artfully done that the uninformed reader will not realize that it is ridicule。 The Bee has exceeded its usual level of hilarity in The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness。 。。。more
Garry Myers
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This is a comprehensive， easy to follow instructional book about how to become "Woke"。 The authors have marketed it as a satire， but these days how can you tell？ I mean， sheesh！ I know people who think like this。 I know other people （actors， mostly） who are afraid to admit that they don't。 Nonetheless it is a very funny book。 I laughed and laughed until I realized that Persons of Wokeness are in charge now。 Not good， as the authors often say。 So I need more guns。 Humor is kryptonite to the Woke。 This is a comprehensive， easy to follow instructional book about how to become "Woke"。 The authors have marketed it as a satire， but these days how can you tell？ I mean， sheesh！ I know people who think like this。 I know other people （actors， mostly） who are afraid to admit that they don't。 Nonetheless it is a very funny book。 I laughed and laughed until I realized that Persons of Wokeness are in charge now。 Not good， as the authors often say。 So I need more guns。 Humor is kryptonite to the Woke。 Buy this book， and some guns， and be fully armed。 。。。more
Chris Grenda
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If you are wondering how to survive in today's woke culture， than you have to read The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness。 It is the definitive guide to living your life as woke as possible。 The editors have broken this confusing subject down into easily digestible sections that even Joe Biden can understand。 It includes charts， graphics and even a game that will keep even the most distracted of snowflakes engaged。 Whether it is learning to find you true identity， or step by step instructions for fig If you are wondering how to survive in today's woke culture， than you have to read The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness。 It is the definitive guide to living your life as woke as possible。 The editors have broken this confusing subject down into easily digestible sections that even Joe Biden can understand。 It includes charts， graphics and even a game that will keep even the most distracted of snowflakes engaged。 Whether it is learning to find you true identity， or step by step instructions for fighting Fascism， you should never stray far from this book， lest you find yourself in a situation where you wish you had the woke answers for the Cancel Culture mob。 This book is not only an invaluable guide to finding your way through this strange new world but it is quite funny as well。 Most people view the woke as a mean-spirited depressed group of layabouts just waiting to pounce on the next un-woke person that gets in their way。 Actually they are very funny people as this quote illustrates: "Experts recommend getting a DNA test to make sure you are not literally Hitler。" That is hilarious， and this book is filled with pearls of mirth just like this。 Here is another amusing quote， this time from the Woke Glossary at the end of the book。 Victim= You。 Me。 Everyone。 Except white people。 The humor used in this book makes realizing how un-woke you are easier to take。 I learned so much about the woke agenda that I can now start my journey to help re-make society！ I believe that this book should be on every reading list for everything， everywhere。 This is information the world must see。 Writer's note: Anyone familiar with the Babylon Bee knows it is the premier satire site in the world today。 Therefore everyone must understand that this review was also a piece of satire。 While I stand by my assessment that this book is easy to read， funny， well thought out and a must read， I also found it sad and disheartening， not because of any mistakes or a lack of logic but because of the fact that there are an increasing number of people and corporations in the world that think just like this。 They may not spell it out so blatantly but it is there none the less。 That said go out a buy this book， in fact buy multiple copies， both for your conservative friends to warn them and your woke friends to try to point out the error of their ways。 。。。more
Sonia
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The book explains everything you ever wanted to know about the current cancel culture。 Highly recommended。
Shannon G
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I cried till I laughed。 Out loud。 Often。 And that's the point。 This is another spot-on satire from the very funny people at The Bee。 It's a perfect gift for Christmas （or Festivus） for all your woke friends and family。 But why wait。 Take a copy to family Thanksgiving and share it。 Way better than watching the Cowboys route the Lions。 I cried till I laughed。 Out loud。 Often。 And that's the point。 This is another spot-on satire from the very funny people at The Bee。 It's a perfect gift for Christmas （or Festivus） for all your woke friends and family。 But why wait。 Take a copy to family Thanksgiving and share it。 Way better than watching the Cowboys route the Lions。 。。。more
Paul Berry
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This book is hilarious。 I love all the infographics especially。 The writing style is very typical of the folks at the Babylon Bee: 1。 carefully balanced between lighthearted and snarky， 2。 without wandering into being mean， 3。 all while shining the light of truth。 Being that we are in an age where reality is almost too absurd to parody， finding fresh ways to tell true to life jokes is a big challenge -- especially since conservatives only have two jokes to begin with :-）， but this book excels at This book is hilarious。 I love all the infographics especially。 The writing style is very typical of the folks at the Babylon Bee: 1。 carefully balanced between lighthearted and snarky， 2。 without wandering into being mean， 3。 all while shining the light of truth。 Being that we are in an age where reality is almost too absurd to parody， finding fresh ways to tell true to life jokes is a big challenge -- especially since conservatives only have two jokes to begin with :-）， but this book excels at beating that challenge。 I highly recommend you buy this book before it gets cancelled by all the imaginary outrage it lampoons。 。。。more
CF Antigua
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