Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success

Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success

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  • Create Date:2021-10-15 08:53:50
  • Update Date:2025-09-06
  • Status:finish
  • Author:Adam M. Grant
  • ISBN:0670026557
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Summary

Give and Take highlights what effective networking, collaboration, influence, negotiation, and leadership skills have in common。

For generations, we have focused on the individual drivers of success: passion, hard work, talent, and luck。 But today, success is increasingly dependent on how we interact with others。 It turns out that at work, most people operate as either takers, matchers, or givers。 Whereas takers strive to get as much as possible from others and matchers aim to trade evenly, givers are the rare breed of people who contribute to others without expecting anything in return。

Using his own pioneering research as Wharton's youngest tenured professor, Grant shows that these styles have a surprising impact on success。 Although some givers get exploited and burn out, the rest achieve extraordinary results across a wide range of industries。 Combining cutting-edge evidence with captivating stories, this landmark book shows how one of America's best networkers developed his connections, why the creative genius behind one of the most popular shows in television history toiled for years in anonymity, how a basketball executive responsible for multiple draft busts transformed his franchise into a winner, and how we could have anticipated Enron's demise four years before the company collapsed - without ever looking at a single number。

Praised by bestselling authors such as Dan Pink, Tony Hsieh, Dan Ariely, Susan Cain, Dan Gilbert, Gretchen Rubin, Bob Sutton, David Allen, Robert Cialdini, and Seth Godin-as well as senior leaders from Google, McKinsey, Merck, Estee Lauder, Nike, and NASA - Give and Take highlights what effective networking, collaboration, influence, negotiation, and leadership skills have in common。 This landmark book opens up an approach to success that has the power to transform not just individuals and groups, but entire organizations and communities。

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Reviews

Albert

5 stars being "life impacting exceptional", 4 being "greatly entertaining or provoking", I'll give this a 3 for "intriguing premise developed in an engagingly storied way, spangled with nuggets of wisdom throughout a read time that oftentime drags on needlessly and redundantly while barely expanding on things like culture or gender within the workplace。" 5 stars being "life impacting exceptional", 4 being "greatly entertaining or provoking", I'll give this a 3 for "intriguing premise developed in an engagingly storied way, spangled with nuggets of wisdom throughout a read time that oftentime drags on needlessly and redundantly while barely expanding on things like culture or gender within the workplace。" 。。。more

Tim Brady

It was hard to stay motivated to get through this book, and I almost want to go 2**, but overall I liked it。 I watched Adam Grant's TedTalk on this topic and think I already learned what I needed to know about this content。 The book takes the TedTalk and his other articles and expands by adding many, many stories and examples that go into what I consider far too much detail and take too long to get to the point。That being said, this is an important topic, and I did enjoy the second half much mor It was hard to stay motivated to get through this book, and I almost want to go 2**, but overall I liked it。 I watched Adam Grant's TedTalk on this topic and think I already learned what I needed to know about this content。 The book takes the TedTalk and his other articles and expands by adding many, many stories and examples that go into what I consider far too much detail and take too long to get to the point。That being said, this is an important topic, and I did enjoy the second half much more than the first。 I recommend watching the TedTalk, and then picking up this book later if you want significantly more detail, research, and mini-biographies of Adam's list of Givers。 。。。more

Pallu

I have correlated success with the taker。 The person willing to climb the ladder no matter how high they have to climb and who they have to climb over。 In this book, Adam Grant offers us a different perceptive。 Through research and stories, he offers a compelling argument that givers with their generosity, shaky voices, and quiet voices can find success maybe in a more meaningful way。 Grant references Simon Sinek and this quote to help make his point。 “Givers advance the world。 Takers advance th I have correlated success with the taker。 The person willing to climb the ladder no matter how high they have to climb and who they have to climb over。 In this book, Adam Grant offers us a different perceptive。 Through research and stories, he offers a compelling argument that givers with their generosity, shaky voices, and quiet voices can find success maybe in a more meaningful way。 Grant references Simon Sinek and this quote to help make his point。 “Givers advance the world。 Takers advance themselves and hold the world back。” 。。。more

Gagan

Being selfish can be good for short term but not in long run

Minh Ngoc Dang

|Cho và Nhận by Adam M。 Grant|*Tên tiếng Anh: Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to SuccessGiúp đỡ người khác là cách tốt nhất để thành công trong kinh doanh và cuộc sống。 Để trở thành một “người cho đi”, cái gì làm được thì làm, cái gì cho được thì cứ trao đi, khoan nghĩ đến chuyện được nhận。3 cách đối nhân xử thế/ cách hành xử -> 3 nhóm người:- Người cho: hào phóng hết mình, luôn cho đi -> là ng luôn thành công trong cuộc sống và cả thế giới kinh doanh。 Đây là phẩm chất quyết định trong c |Cho và Nhận by Adam M。 Grant|*Tên tiếng Anh: Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to SuccessGiúp đỡ người khác là cách tốt nhất để thành công trong kinh doanh và cuộc sống。 Để trở thành một “người cho đi”, cái gì làm được thì làm, cái gì cho được thì cứ trao đi, khoan nghĩ đến chuyện được nhận。3 cách đối nhân xử thế/ cách hành xử -> 3 nhóm người:- Người cho: hào phóng hết mình, luôn cho đi -> là ng luôn thành công trong cuộc sống và cả thế giới kinh doanh。 Đây là phẩm chất quyết định trong cuộc đua dài。- Người nhận: Chỉ quan tâm đến lợi ích của riêng họ- Người dung hòa: Cân đối, trao đổi lợi ích tương xứng3 nội dung chính:1。Linh hoạt điều chỉnh sự cho đi trong từng hoàn cảnh:- Trong ta luôn tồn tại tính cách của cả 3 kiểu người (người cho, người nhận, người dung hòa)。 Tùy tình huống và đối tượng, ta sẽ có cách hành xử phù hợp。- Ta không được thiết lập sẵn để trở thành người cho đi。 Ta liên tục định hình và thay đổi cơ chế。2。 Giao tiếp mềm mỏng khi cần sự giúp đỡ:- (???) Trong mối quan hệ tình cảm, quyền lực luôn thuộc về người ít quan tâm hơn- (???) Phải tự tin khẳng định bản thân và lên tiếng khi cần- Biết từ bỏ quyền lực trong lời nói và hành động。- Ko chỉ tập trung vào lợi ích bản thân mình mà tập trung cả vào đối phương: Lắng nghe, đặt câu hỏi, tìm kiếm lời khuyên。- Đối phương đc đặt vào vị trí nhiều thẩm quyền hơn -> Sẽ giúp đỡ và hỗ trợ mình- Tự nhiên, cởi mở và chân thật thuần khiết。 Ko chiêu thức ngọt ngào。3。 Cho đi chính là động lực sống:- Ko ngừng cho đi, ta sẽ chiến thắng- Sẽ có lúc kiệt sức, nhưng sẽ thấy được sự ảnh hưởng tích cực của mình với người khác (động lực cho cả mình và ng khác -> niềm tin để tiếp tục cống hiến)。- Nhân quả- Hiệu ứng cánh bướm từ hành động của mình- Xác định mình thuộc nhóm nào -> thay đổi về hướng cho nhiều hơn"Tình trạng kiệt sức chỉ xảy ra với người thiếu mục đích sống。"link bài: https://motnoinaoday。wordpress。com/20。。。 。。。more

Traci

Are you a Giver or a Taker? This book is a great look at giving and success。 While we may think the Takers of the world get to the top while stepping on those around them that doesn't seem to be the case in the long run。 Are you a Giver or a Taker? This book is a great look at giving and success。 While we may think the Takers of the world get to the top while stepping on those around them that doesn't seem to be the case in the long run。 。。。more

Chao

Very interesting and motivating ideas。 However, the book dwells too much on examples and can seem tedious and preachy at times。

Jemini

The perfect book for someone who wants to understand their give and take relationship with themselves, with others, and with things。 Some people just keep on giving and sacrificing for others all the time and some keep on taking advantage of others and both of the extremes are harmful。 The book explains the balance between giving and taking from others。 The book has detailed examples that makes it even interesting to understand few topics described in it。

Keith Gillette

Is it telling that Adam Grant had to reach all the way back to Abraham Lincoln to find a politician with the giving reciprocity style, whereas all of his other examples are of contemporaries?

Chiyoka

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it, click here。 Some stories of the givers who succeeded in their business area were eye opening。 It reminds me of my grandma used to tell me。 She was a successful insurance sales lady and she told me that she did well in business just because she studied hard but also always thought about her clients and offered them what seemed to be the best option for them。 Other sales person who offered only thinking about their own benefits didn’t succeed like her。 So the author’s point was not really new to me。 Although Some stories of the givers who succeeded in their business area were eye opening。 It reminds me of my grandma used to tell me。 She was a successful insurance sales lady and she told me that she did well in business just because she studied hard but also always thought about her clients and offered them what seemed to be the best option for them。 Other sales person who offered only thinking about their own benefits didn’t succeed like her。 So the author’s point was not really new to me。 Although I think he did such a excellent job for collecting those examples, I often got lost to see what’s the point in each small section is the books。 For me the format is a bit too difficult to see the point clearly。 。。。more

Dmitry

It maybe it was revolutionary when he wrote it but right now it's a classic。 Granted I don't necessarily agree with his conclusions It maybe it was revolutionary when he wrote it but right now it's a classic。 Granted I don't necessarily agree with his conclusions 。。。more

Robert Bogue

Nice guys finish last – or do they? This is at the heart of Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success。 If you study people and sort them into categories of the most giving and those that are trying to wring out the very last ounce that life has to offer by extracting it from others, who will come out on top? Does the hard-nosed negotiator win by a nose, or does the giver gallop to the lead?Read more Nice guys finish last – or do they? This is at the heart of Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success。 If you study people and sort them into categories of the most giving and those that are trying to wring out the very last ounce that life has to offer by extracting it from others, who will come out on top? Does the hard-nosed negotiator win by a nose, or does the giver gallop to the lead?Read more 。。。more

Jasmine

Feeling conflicted because I almost indiscriminately enjoy every one of Adam Grant’s works, but this I could not wait to get over with。 Too sleepy to rant so I will type down my disappointment tomorrow。 Maybe。

Coleen

The concept of otherish givers is intriguing。 I will recommend the book to both of my daughters and think it's a good gift idea for college grads。 The concept of otherish givers is intriguing。 I will recommend the book to both of my daughters and think it's a good gift idea for college grads。 。。。more

Tyler B

How to Be a Successful GiverAlthough sometimes sluggish, this was a powerful book。 I think there were too many stories and perhaps too many details in some stories。 (The chapter on basketball recruiting really put me to sleep。) But some of them did a great job of driving the point home。 I had no idea givers are often those at the top of the ladder。 It was very insightful learning how to give without getting run over or getting burned out。 The teacher who volunteered on top of her demanding sched How to Be a Successful GiverAlthough sometimes sluggish, this was a powerful book。 I think there were too many stories and perhaps too many details in some stories。 (The chapter on basketball recruiting really put me to sleep。) But some of them did a great job of driving the point home。 I had no idea givers are often those at the top of the ladder。 It was very insightful learning how to give without getting run over or getting burned out。 The teacher who volunteered on top of her demanding schedule was a story that really stuck out to me。As a self proclaimed and Adam Grant quiz-confirmed matcher, this book really inspired me to give more, expecting nothing in return。 I especially appreciate the summary, takeaways and to-dos at the end。I started a book club at work with my team, and this was our first book。 I’m curious to see how it influences them individually and how it impacts us as a team。 。。。more

Ray Chan

Inspiring, mind blowing & enlightening…It’s absolutely inspiring, mind blowing and enlightening read which encourages me to become a more genuine giver to bless others regardless of return!

David Clarke

Great book with good stories and lessons taught。 Recommend 👍🏻

Michelle T

“We spend the majority of our waking hours at work。 This means that what we do at work becomes a fundamental part of who we are。 If we reserve giver values for our personal lives, what will be missing in our professional lives?”Interesting read with plenty of practical examples and case studies for leadership, mentorship and team based environments: who gives, how to give, and where it takes us。 A good reminder of the fundamental benefits of giving which are often forgotten in the workforce。 Boo “We spend the majority of our waking hours at work。 This means that what we do at work becomes a fundamental part of who we are。 If we reserve giver values for our personal lives, what will be missing in our professional lives?”Interesting read with plenty of practical examples and case studies for leadership, mentorship and team based environments: who gives, how to give, and where it takes us。 A good reminder of the fundamental benefits of giving which are often forgotten in the workforce。 Book is a bit rambly but still an enjoyable read。- Giving = most and least successful outcomes at the same time - Reversing giver disadvantages in team based environment and service type roles: Lincoln, medical school, VCs- Responsibility bias: what have other ppl contributed before us?? Bosses vs employees - Psychological safety: givers can create an environment, safe to exchange info and present, listen and ask for opinions - Bridge perspective gaps - underestimation of pain when one doesn’t experience it directly - How often do we say yes? Our time seems to become more and more precious as we get older and may even seem transactional sometimes。 But is this the right way to think about life and relationships?- Be kind y’all 。。。more

Jorg van Gaal

That you can write a whole book about giving and taking。 Quite interesting to hear different sides of the coin and the fact that givers win in the end。 Also the matter of reciprocity is an interesting concept to me。 I realized I can give more especially in time and skills so will explore that more and keep it top of mind。

Hayden Powers

About half way through, haven't finished, and won't finish。 This is quite possibly the most overrated book I have ever spent my time on; time regrettably I will never get back and could have been spent on better books。The glaringly obvious flaw in the entire books premise is this: "Givers are the most successful, so here is a book about all the famous (and mostly white and male) people who were categorically Givers and how you can be a Giver too。"Answer this for me。。。 why would anyone, after rea About half way through, haven't finished, and won't finish。 This is quite possibly the most overrated book I have ever spent my time on; time regrettably I will never get back and could have been spent on better books。The glaringly obvious flaw in the entire books premise is this: "Givers are the most successful, so here is a book about all the famous (and mostly white and male) people who were categorically Givers and how you can be a Giver too。"Answer this for me。。。 why would anyone, after reading this book, want to be a Giver? Could it possibly be that they were *expecting* some success in return? Wouldn't this then, if you can follow this logic, mean that anyone who wants to be a Giver after reading this book technically be a Matcher? You know, the mediocre, mid-tier on the success hierarchy?The second most obvious flaw is the fact his almost *exclusively* uses white male examples in his case studies。 Why does this matter? Because current research contradicts his whole argument when it applies to women! Women are by nature more akin to Givers (by Grant's definition), more focused on team efforts, more focused on giving credit away, and yet their professional life suffers because of it。So, this book is a great book for men。 For women I recommend "How Women Rise" by Marshall Goldsmith and Sally Helgesen。 That is the book that will teach you how to be *less* selfless in the workplace in order to get recognized by your superiors and get ahead in your career。I really wanted to like this book。 It has been on my wishlist for over a year。 I was supremely let down。 I only gave 2 stars instead of 1 because Grant did put in work regarding his research, and his writing style is engaging。 I just can't read anymore。 The deeper I go, the more I want to pull my hair out。 。。。more

Terra Fletcher

I highly recommend this book for people who are giving and for those reluctant to give at work。 This book was given to me as a gift (how appropriate)。 I have already recommended it to others and will likely gift it as well。 This book reassures givers that giving drives our success, when done the right way。 It encourages matchers to give more。 The profile of takers is helpful; they're easy to spot once you know what to look for。 The true stories and real-life people the author introduces drove ho I highly recommend this book for people who are giving and for those reluctant to give at work。 This book was given to me as a gift (how appropriate)。 I have already recommended it to others and will likely gift it as well。 This book reassures givers that giving drives our success, when done the right way。 It encourages matchers to give more。 The profile of takers is helpful; they're easy to spot once you know what to look for。 The true stories and real-life people the author introduces drove home the main points。 Adam Rifkin is quoted as saying, "You should be willing to do something that will take you five minutes or less for anybody。" I'm aiming to apply this in my life。 I was recently asked for a favor I didn't feel I should fulfill so I introduced the asker to three other people whom I thought the project would mutually benefit。 It was so satisfying to make those connections。 Everyone won! But this book isn't just a feel-good book, there is real science that backed up the suggestions and everything was well cited。 I love a book that gives me more to read! 。。。more

Nujud Alaql

tمخاطر العطاء ومكافآته أكثر مما تأخذ。tمبدأ الأخذ والعطاء هو ما يطلق عليه الدبلوماسيون أعط واحد وخذ عشرة。t لدى الأشخاص الناجحين ثلاثة أمور مشتركة: الحافز والقدرة والفرصة。t يفكر محب الأخذ على هذا النحو: إذا لم أهتم بنفسي أولا فلن يهتم بي أحد。tيفكر محب العطاء على هذا النحو: جعل الآخرين أفضل، ولكن يضحون بنجاحهم الخاص في أثناء ذلك。tيقول راندي كوميسار: من الأسهل أن تفوز إذا كان الجميع يريدون أن تفوز، إذا لم تخلق أعداء بالخارج فمن الأسهل أن تنجح。tيقول لينكون: إن كانت لي صفة سلبية واحدة ولا يمكنن tمخاطر العطاء ومكافآته أكثر مما تأخذ。tمبدأ الأخذ والعطاء هو ما يطلق عليه الدبلوماسيون أعط واحد وخذ عشرة。t لدى الأشخاص الناجحين ثلاثة أمور مشتركة: الحافز والقدرة والفرصة。t يفكر محب الأخذ على هذا النحو: إذا لم أهتم بنفسي أولا فلن يهتم بي أحد。tيفكر محب العطاء على هذا النحو: جعل الآخرين أفضل، ولكن يضحون بنجاحهم الخاص في أثناء ذلك。tيقول راندي كوميسار: من الأسهل أن تفوز إذا كان الجميع يريدون أن تفوز، إذا لم تخلق أعداء بالخارج فمن الأسهل أن تنجح。tيقول لينكون: إن كانت لي صفة سلبية واحدة ولا يمكنني تسميتها باسم آخر فهي عدم قدرتي على أن أقول لا。tكل ما علينا فعله هو البدء بالقيام بعمل طيب。t يمنع الخوف محبي العطاء من أن يُحكم عليهم بالضعف والسذاجة。tهناك أربع نطاقات تجعل المعطين ناجحين وهي: بناء العلاقات، التعاون، التقييم، التأثير。tيجب أن يقرر كل انسان إذا ما كان سيمشي في ضوء الإيثار الخلاق أم في ظلمة الأنانية المدمرة。tهناك مقولة هولندية: أقبلك حين تصعد وأركلك حين تهبط。tإن المقياس الحقيقي للإنسان هو الطريقة التي يعامل بها شخصا لا يستطيع أن يعمل من أجله أي شيء ذي نفع على الاطلاق。tليكن شعارك دائما: أريد أن أحسن العالم وأريد أن أبدوا جيدا عند القيام بذلك。tمن الأفضل أن تعطي قبل أن تأخذ。tمحبو الأخذ يمثلون فجوات سوداء فهم يمتصون الطاقة من حولهم، وكان محبو العطاء كالشمس يشعون الضوء حول المكان。t إذا كان الكرم يحكم تفاعلاتك فإن مكافاتك ستأتي نتيجة لهذا الكرم。tليكن لديك ميثاق شرف: كن متاحا للآخرين، اعمل بجد، كن طيبا ، اتبع نهجا أخلاقيا。tحتى حين تكون نيات الناس حسنة فإنهم يميلون للمبالغة في تقدير مساهماتهم والتقليل من مساهمات الآخرين。tيظهر البحث أنه عندما نأخذ وجهات نظر الآخرين نميل للبقاء ضمن إطارتنا للمرجعية متسائلين كيف سأشعر لو كنت في هذا الموقف؟tعندما نعامل الإنسان كما هو عليه نجعله أسوأ مما هو عليه، وعندما نعامله كأنه بالفعل أفضل ما يمكن أن يكون عليه فإننا نجعله كما ينبغي أن يكون عليه。tالنجاح لا يقيس الإنسان وإنما الجهد。tالعزم: هو امتلاك الشغف والمثابرة نحو الأهداف طويلة الأجل。tتحدث بلطف، ولكن احمل عصا ضخمة。tإن لطلب النصح أربع فوائد: التعلم، تبني وجهة نظر الآخرين، الالتزام والإطراء،tتوجد قوتان عظيمتان في الطبيعة البشرية: المصلحة الشخصية والاهتمام بالآخرين。tإذا انفقت المال على نفسك فلن تتغير سعادتك، لكن إذا أنفقت على الآخرين فستذكر أنك أصبحت أسعد حقا بشكل كبير。tلا يوجد عمل خير دون مردود سلبي。tيجب ألا تنسى أبدا الإحسان، لكن تصفح عن الإسادة بين الحين والآخر。tالناس يكونون أكثر حماسا، ودا، وتفتحا قليلا فحسب عندما يلتقون بشخص يذكرهم بأنفسهم。 。。。more

Edouard Reinach

It's a good book, although some "anecdotes" seem either too good to be true or too stereotypical to frame the various nuances with which givers give, matchers, match and takers take。 Or maye I'm too difficult。 It's more like a 4。2 than a 5 star。 It's a good book, although some "anecdotes" seem either too good to be true or too stereotypical to frame the various nuances with which givers give, matchers, match and takers take。 Or maye I'm too difficult。 It's more like a 4。2 than a 5 star。 。。。more

Rachel

I’m enjoying my tour in non-fiction, but this wasn’t the best。 1。5 stars probably。

Alessandro

Very insightful and thought provoking。 I love the reference to other popular authors of the genre both old ones like Cialdini and more recent ones like Angela Duckworth。 The argument discussed is compelling and I’m looking forward to put this summer read into action by adopting the concepts discussed in my daily life。

Joraaver

This book was recommended to me on the premise that I was a "giver。" So, when I started the book, I was worried about confirmation bias, given that I help ruthlessly and I make it a selfish goal to do so。 However, this book put to rest a nagging thought in the back of my head about my future success in what is normally depicted as a dog-eat-dog world。 While how I behave won't change too much because of this book, what it has given me is insight into why my behavior doesn't have to be orthogonal This book was recommended to me on the premise that I was a "giver。" So, when I started the book, I was worried about confirmation bias, given that I help ruthlessly and I make it a selfish goal to do so。 However, this book put to rest a nagging thought in the back of my head about my future success in what is normally depicted as a dog-eat-dog world。 While how I behave won't change too much because of this book, what it has given me is insight into why my behavior doesn't have to be orthogonal to future success, a framework to orient my work and career, and a way to broach my philosophy with groups or organizations who aren't attuned to this style of life。 At the very least, I'll recommend this book to the next person who worries about me being taken advantage of。 。。。more

GM

Bit repetitive but there were some interesting tidbits。

Janine Sneed

Give and Take - Adam Grant1。) Among Givers, Matchers, and Takers, givers are the least and most successful。 Most successful when they give with their own interests in sight (who, why, when)。2。) In developing talent, look for motivation first then skills。3。) People hold on to bad/mismatched talent due to sunk cost fallacy。4。) Powerless communication works only if people know you are competent。 5。) Givers motivated to a cause put in more hours/effort and avoid burnout because they believe they are Give and Take - Adam Grant1。) Among Givers, Matchers, and Takers, givers are the least and most successful。 Most successful when they give with their own interests in sight (who, why, when)。2。) In developing talent, look for motivation first then skills。3。) People hold on to bad/mismatched talent due to sunk cost fallacy。4。) Powerless communication works only if people know you are competent。 5。) Givers motivated to a cause put in more hours/effort and avoid burnout because they believe they are making an impact。 。。。more

James

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it, click here。 As someone who studied and worked in Industrial/Organizational Psychology, I started following the author Adam Grant on social media as he is perhaps currently the world's most famous Organizational Psychologist。I've always enjoyed his thoughtful posts, in particular those that have talked about the nature of giving。 There was a meme he made of Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree which depicted the tree effectively saying "You can take my apples and some branches but don't cut me down, I want to As someone who studied and worked in Industrial/Organizational Psychology, I started following the author Adam Grant on social media as he is perhaps currently the world's most famous Organizational Psychologist。I've always enjoyed his thoughtful posts, in particular those that have talked about the nature of giving。 There was a meme he made of Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree which depicted the tree effectively saying "You can take my apples and some branches but don't cut me down, I want to give to you and others for as long as I can"。 As someone who has often felt burned out from giving to others perhaps too much, that resonated with me。So I've been wanting to read Give and Take for awhile to get some life advice in that area。 How do I curb hurtful excessive giving when giving to others generally makes me happy?The most interesting takeaway from this book is that of the Taker, Matcher (tit-for tat), and Giver types, the givers tend to fall behind everyone else in terms of success。 Nice Guys Always Finish Last in effect。 So who then ends up in the middle, and then ultimately who is on top? The Matchers? Or the Takers? You guessed it: the tak-HAHA NOPE IDIOT IT'S THE GIVERS MAJOR PLOT TWIST IN CHAPTER ONEBut。。。。 how?Thing is, there are givers who always put the needs of others above themselves, and then there are the givers who strive to help others, but also help themselves, and encourage others to Pay It Forward。 These folks, as Grant puts it, are not selfless or selfish, but "otherish"。This book weaves the research along with examples of famous individuals that exhibited otherish qualities。 Some obscure politician named Abraham Lincoln is mentioned a number of times。One of my favorite studies brought up is that those who volunteer around 100 hours a year tend to be the happiest。 That's just a couple of hours a week。 But individuals who do that are frequently reminded they are in fact, a good person, they help build and invest in their communities, and often see the long term positive effects of their actions。 Not only that but they tend to surround themselves with people who are also givers and willing to help them when needed。 The other one I particularly liked demonstrated that givers are terrible at negotiating their salary, often coming in far lower than the takers and the matchers。 But when the giver is negotiating on behalf of someone else。。。 the salary ends up wellllll above even those folks。 So they wield a special kind of power。In the end I would not say this book is quite the eye-opening paradigm-shifting book I was half expecting it to be, but it does make it clear there are smarter ways to be generous and yet still helpful to one's own self。 My one complaint is that usually books like these have right at the beginning some sort of questionnaire the reader can answer if they so choose to see where they fall personality wise。 Doing so puts the studies mentioned in context as well, and can help the reader determine if there are life changes they should make。 But no such questionnaire is present in this book, only in the last chapter is it mentioned you can go to the author's website to take one。 Which I did, but at that point I already had an inkling what the "correct" answers should be in terms of being more giving and otherish。 Would have like to have seen my scores before and after reading the book。Overall, a fun, life-slight-altering read! 。。。more

Yangzi Jiang

Give more, and take more。 An iterative cycle