Chatter: The Voice in Our Head and How to Harness It
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- Create Date：2021-03-24 08:24:56
- Update Date：2025-09-07
- Status：finish
- Author：Ethan Kross
- ISBN：1785041959
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Summary
Turn your inner voice from critic to coach
As humans， we all have a special ability that is unique to our species: an inner voice。 It helps us focus， achieve our goals and reflect on life’s most joyful moments。 But it can also be our biggest enemy， chewing over painful emotions and replaying embarrassments， hijacking our thoughts to run amok with ‘chatter’。 How does this source of wisdom turn into our biggest critic？ And how can we take back control？
These are the questions one of the world’s leading experts on the conscious mind set out to answer twenty years ago， when he started on an audacious mission — to study the conversations we have with ourselves。 In this hugely anticipated book， that expert， the award-winning neuroscientist and psychologist Ethan Kross， reveals the sheer power of the inner voice， and shows us that we all possess a set of tools for harnessing it。 Hidden in plain sight， they are in the words we use and the stories we tell ourselves， in the conversations we have with our loved ones and in the habits we undertake when tackling our goals。 They are even sometimes in our bizarre rituals and lucky charms。
Fascinating， entertaining and full of original insights and tips， Chatter will change the conversations you have with yourself forever， and help you lead a happier， more productive life。
As humans， we all have a special ability that is unique to our species: an inner voice。 It helps us focus， achieve our goals and reflect on life’s most joyful moments。 But it can also be our biggest enemy， chewing over painful emotions and replaying embarrassments， hijacking our thoughts to run amok with ‘chatter’。 How does this source of wisdom turn into our biggest critic？ And how can we take back control？
These are the questions one of the world’s leading experts on the conscious mind set out to answer twenty years ago， when he started on an audacious mission — to study the conversations we have with ourselves。 In this hugely anticipated book， that expert， the award-winning neuroscientist and psychologist Ethan Kross， reveals the sheer power of the inner voice， and shows us that we all possess a set of tools for harnessing it。 Hidden in plain sight， they are in the words we use and the stories we tell ourselves， in the conversations we have with our loved ones and in the habits we undertake when tackling our goals。 They are even sometimes in our bizarre rituals and lucky charms。
Fascinating， entertaining and full of original insights and tips， Chatter will change the conversations you have with yourself forever， and help you lead a happier， more productive life。
Reviews
Rob
，
Our inner voice is capable of “speaking” at a rate of 4，000 words per minute。 If we spoke out-loud， it would take us almost an hour to speak that many words。 In Chatter: The Voice in Our Head， Why It Matters， and How to Harness It， professor Ethan Cross takes us on a tour of our inner voice and explains why our brains talk to us the way they do， and provides helpful advice on how to counteract some of the deleterious inner-voice patterns that we encounter every day。Talking to ourselves enabl Our inner voice is capable of “speaking” at a rate of 4，000 words per minute。 If we spoke out-loud， it would take us almost an hour to speak that many words。 In Chatter: The Voice in Our Head， Why It Matters， and How to Harness It， professor Ethan Cross takes us on a tour of our inner voice and explains why our brains talk to us the way they do， and provides helpful advice on how to counteract some of the deleterious inner-voice patterns that we encounter every day。Talking to ourselves enables important brain functions that help us to live our lives。 Often， when we talk to ourselves， we perform critical memory tasks， create working memory， and， especially when we are developing language skills， keep our linguistic pathways active so that we can relate to the world around us。 In fact， when we are young， talking to ourselves is how we learn to control ourselves， and our inner voice literally creates our identity as we grow。“Our verbal stream plays an indispensable role in the creation of our selves。 The brain constructs meaningful narratives through autobiographical reasoning。 In other words， we use our minds to write the story of our lives， with us as the main character。 Doing so helps us mature， figure out our values and desires， and weather change and adversity by keeping us rooted in a continuous identity。 Language is integral to this process because it smooths the jagged and seemingly unconnected fragments of daily life into a cohesive through line。” So what happens when the voice in our heads leads us to spiral into panic， anxiety， or fear？ One thing that happens is we tend to turn to friends and loved ones for comfort， expressing our feelings and fears。 This can be helpful， and often venting solves the problem and we can move on。 Chronic venting， however， can alienate us from those we treat as confidants， and oversharing can end up pushing others away， thereby exacerbating our anxieties。 Social media tends to amplify this alienation by virtue of the fact that we can broadcast our thoughts while we are in the throes of chatter。 Social media， in my opinion is a chatter amplifier because it’s constantly available。“The passage of time is likewise essential to helping us manage our emotional lives， especially when it comes to processing upsetting experiences。 When we identify someone to talk to off-line， we often have to wait until we see the person or until they’re available to chat。 While one waits for that person， something magical happens: Time passes， which allows us to reflect on what we’re feeling and thinking about in ways that often temper our emotions。 Indeed， research supports the common idea that “time heals” or the advice to “just give it time。” While the passage of time may be a helpful tool in managing chatter， it is not always an easy one to utilize。 Thankfully， Kross gives readers an entire toolbox throughout the book。 And， in a lesson other authors could take away from Kross， he literally compiles a “toolbox” as an appendix to the book that summarizes the methods he discusses in the text。 These methods include tools that we can use on our own （like imagining we are addressing a friend with the same problems we have） and tools that involve other people （such as providing “invisible support” to others who may be experiencing chatter）。The tools this book explains are sure to help anyone who experiences anxiety， a feeling that has increased considerably over the past year。 。。。more
Satkar Ulama
，
What to do to help you manage the voices that keep running inside your mind:1。 Use distanced self-talk。 Use the second-person point of view to refer to yourself， so you avoid rumination and improve performance under stress。 "Calm down， Satkar。 Take a deep breath。"2。 Imagine advising a friend。 Think of yourself as a friend whose problem you're trying to solve。 Think about the solutions you can offer to him and apply them to you。3。 Broaden your perspective。 Think about other problems that could ha What to do to help you manage the voices that keep running inside your mind:1。 Use distanced self-talk。 Use the second-person point of view to refer to yourself， so you avoid rumination and improve performance under stress。 "Calm down， Satkar。 Take a deep breath。"2。 Imagine advising a friend。 Think of yourself as a friend whose problem you're trying to solve。 Think about the solutions you can offer to him and apply them to you。3。 Broaden your perspective。 Think about other problems that could have been worse。 Think about how the problems faced by other people are even bigger than yours。 By all means， be grateful。 Your problem is not the end of the world。4。 Re-frame your experience as a challenge。 Think of a problem as a challenge that you'll have to handle。 Compare your current adversity with those you've successfully solved and pulled through in the past。 5。 Re-interpret your body's response to chatters。 Tell yourself that your physical features react when negative emotions attack to help you respond to a challenge。 So， calm down and breathe deeply。6。 Normalize your experience。 Tell yourself you are not alone in this experience。 Refer to the people in general by using the word "you" when talking about negative emotions。7。 Engage in mental time travel。 Think about how you'll yourself find in a month， year， or even longer from now。 Tell yourself that， in the future， you'll look back to today's adversity with positive feelings。8。 Change your view。 Think of distancing yourself away so you can see the problem more as an event。 This can help you separate what you are feeling （emotions） from what is actually happening。9。 Write expressively。 Jot down your deepest thoughts and feelings in a journal。 Position yourself as a narrator so you can make sense of what you're feeling。10。 Adopt the perspective of a neutral third party when the chatter occurs between you and another person。 Distance and assume yourself as a third-party that observes the event and aims to get a win-win solution。11。 Engage in a ritual。 Rituals have proven to remove anxieties when chatter is surrounding your mind。 Say or perform a prayer， meditate， or other activities that can help you feel calm。 。。。more
Uninvited
，
The author labels "Chatter" the inside voice that is in everybody's head （excluding people with certain medical conditions）。 This voice is a blessing and a curse， and this book suggests methods of controlling it when it goes on a downward spiral。 The methods are divided into three groups: involving one's self， involving others， involving one's environment。 It was very interesting for me to read this book， as I have never been seriously struggling with anxiety （in fact， less in less as I grow old The author labels "Chatter" the inside voice that is in everybody's head （excluding people with certain medical conditions）。 This voice is a blessing and a curse， and this book suggests methods of controlling it when it goes on a downward spiral。 The methods are divided into three groups: involving one's self， involving others， involving one's environment。 It was very interesting for me to read this book， as I have never been seriously struggling with anxiety （in fact， less in less as I grow older）， and I recognized certain things I've been doing all this time， without even knowing they helped。 I did discover new ideas， however， especially when it comes to methods involving others。Although this book doesn't go too deep into analyzing each method， and it mainly stays on the surface， describing experiments， and giving a few examples from the author's and other people's lives， I believe it can really be helpful for people who have serious problems dealing with anxiety or depression - just make sure that you use this book as a guide， not as a panacea。 。。。more
Sarah Grebinoski
，
I liked the author's explanation about how important our inner voice is and how that is different from chatter， or spiraling negative thoughts。 You will learn many ways to create distance and why/ how they work to reduce chatter。I'm ready to put these suggestions to work！ I liked the author's explanation about how important our inner voice is and how that is different from chatter， or spiraling negative thoughts。 You will learn many ways to create distance and why/ how they work to reduce chatter。I'm ready to put these suggestions to work！ 。。。more
Keith
，
This is a fairly compelling book about understanding how our inner monologue can govern our behaviors and stress levels while also offering multiple ways to minimize and utilize that internal chatter。 The first half of the book didn't really grab me。 I was about to give up but once it delved into sections about applying knowledge and the experiments performed to substantiate its claims， it got a lot more interesting。 It's definitely worth the read。 This is a fairly compelling book about understanding how our inner monologue can govern our behaviors and stress levels while also offering multiple ways to minimize and utilize that internal chatter。 The first half of the book didn't really grab me。 I was about to give up but once it delved into sections about applying knowledge and the experiments performed to substantiate its claims， it got a lot more interesting。 It's definitely worth the read。 。。。more
Rudi
，
Leuk boekje dat een onderdeel vormt van het grote （ nog veel te ontdekken） terrein van het （ zelf ） bewustzijn Ik vond het persoonlijk soms wat te luchtig toch heb ik ook wat bijgeleerd， Beetje minder ik etikke en wat meer je Je kan het zelf ontdekken ， of je ， je er mee kan helpen
Francis Shaw
，
A nice read and lots of good tips for calming the inner voice。
Cathy Totten
，
I found it very interesting as someone who seems to have more chatter than most。 The book does a good job of encouraging self chatter and ways to frame your thoughts as a third party observer which seems like it would be helpful in situations。
Katie
，
Easy to read and process， liked that he ended with a summary of tools suggested throughout the book
Pallu
，
Self talk matters， but I don’t remember learning how this inner voice leads me to success or defeats me。 Loved the research and strategies and there is a list of recommendations at the end of the book。 Definitely a book for those who feel anxious， overthink and battle analysis paralysis。
Luvena
，
I really enjoyed reading this book。 It explores how our own thoughts can make us believe and define our lives。 It offers great perspective options to control our own chatter。I would recommend this book to whomever is going through a personal introspection to find self understanding。
Tarra
，
This was just okay for me。 I found it really slow to get through even though the overall topic interests me and it was pretty short。 I just don't think the style and format of the writing was to my personal taste。 This was just okay for me。 I found it really slow to get through even though the overall topic interests me and it was pretty short。 I just don't think the style and format of the writing was to my personal taste。 。。。more
Jaskaran Singh
，
Other name of this book can be " Benefits of Meditation"。The book is a short easy read and people who find meditation difficult to do can try the scientific methods told by the author。The second chapter（ emotional pain overlaps with physical pain） and 6th chapter （physcial environment matters） were new to me。 I really like when researchers of American Universities are able to write a public facing book。 Even though there was nothing new for me in this book， it was still well written that I didn' Other name of this book can be " Benefits of Meditation"。The book is a short easy read and people who find meditation difficult to do can try the scientific methods told by the author。The second chapter（ emotional pain overlaps with physical pain） and 6th chapter （physcial environment matters） were new to me。 I really like when researchers of American Universities are able to write a public facing book。 Even though there was nothing new for me in this book， it was still well written that I didn't feel bored。 。。。more
Hadiya
，
This book is an interesting mix of psychology， storytelling， and self-help。 I appreciate the way the author weaves in and out of personal stories and scientific studies he conducts， all centered around or inner voice （chatter）。 If you have any background in psychology， there is a lot of basic information that might seem obvious， but I understand that the author is appealing to a broad audience。 Despite having a neuroscience background， I learned new things and the author lent a new perspective t This book is an interesting mix of psychology， storytelling， and self-help。 I appreciate the way the author weaves in and out of personal stories and scientific studies he conducts， all centered around or inner voice （chatter）。 If you have any background in psychology， there is a lot of basic information that might seem obvious， but I understand that the author is appealing to a broad audience。 Despite having a neuroscience background， I learned new things and the author lent a new perspective to common knowledge。 I recommend reading it。 。。。more
Sigrid_02
，
Dieses Sachbuch befasst sich mit der inneren Stimme jedes Menschen und erläutert Methoden， mit denen man die manchmal negativen und anstrengenden Ausprägungen der Stimme wieder kontrollieren und besser verstehen kann。 Die innere Stimme ist ein ständiger Monolog， der in emotional herausfordernden Situationen zu einer negativen Spirale werden kann und uns dazu bringt， die Fokussierung auf die negativen Seiten der Situation anhaltend zu verstärken。 Der Autor stellt in seinem Buch die Forschung zur Dieses Sachbuch befasst sich mit der inneren Stimme jedes Menschen und erläutert Methoden， mit denen man die manchmal negativen und anstrengenden Ausprägungen der Stimme wieder kontrollieren und besser verstehen kann。 Die innere Stimme ist ein ständiger Monolog， der in emotional herausfordernden Situationen zu einer negativen Spirale werden kann und uns dazu bringt， die Fokussierung auf die negativen Seiten der Situation anhaltend zu verstärken。 Der Autor stellt in seinem Buch die Forschung zur Beeinflussung dieser Stimme vor und gibt dem Leser Techniken an die Hand， mit denen die Stimme beeinflusst und ihre negativen Aspekte in einen positiven Nutzen umgewandelt werden können。 Das Buch ist interessant für alle， die bisher noch keine bis geringe Vorkenntnisse haben und sich informieren wollen， wie sie ihre innere Stimme beeinflussen können。 Es ist gut lesbar und auf einem gut verständlichen Niveau geschrieben， sodass man kein Akademiker sein muss， um die Forschungsergebnisse zu verstehen。 Nichtsdestotrotz bietet es auch einen akademischen Anhang für eine weitere Vertiefung der Studien。 Mir hat das Buch sehr gut gefallen， und ich werde versuchen， verschiedene der beschriebenen Techniken in meinen Alltag zu integrieren。 。。。more
Michelle
，
Loved this book。After I read a book like this， I usually go back through the book and type up a summary。 I didn't have to！！ Kross had a final chapter with a summary of it all organized wonderfully。 Loved this book。After I read a book like this， I usually go back through the book and type up a summary。 I didn't have to！！ Kross had a final chapter with a summary of it all organized wonderfully。 。。。more
MindOverMatter
，
I admit， I was not really interested in this book and I hated the first 2 pages， but I kept reading and Kross won me over。 With the 1st chapter still being quite bad and the 2nd chapter being moderate， it got better and better starting with chapter 3 and raised from an evaluation of 2 of 5 stars up to 5 of 5 stars。 It is not mindblowing when you already are familiar with various self-control and self-influencing techniques， but it adds the science and some perspective and some background on hist I admit， I was not really interested in this book and I hated the first 2 pages， but I kept reading and Kross won me over。 With the 1st chapter still being quite bad and the 2nd chapter being moderate， it got better and better starting with chapter 3 and raised from an evaluation of 2 of 5 stars up to 5 of 5 stars。 It is not mindblowing when you already are familiar with various self-control and self-influencing techniques， but it adds the science and some perspective and some background on history。 For me it was still a very valueable， albeit certainly a rather easy and quick book mostly reminding me of things I already knew。 I hope for a successor providing even more depth by Kross！ :） 。。。more
Karah Jones
，
Longer review coming。 LOVED this！ I took so many notes and scribbled all over this book。 Lots of wisdom
Sabrina
，
Some excellent ideas and perspectives to consider in regards to ‘chatter’， but all over the place at times in a way that made it frustrating to follow as an audiobook。
Michell8
，
3。5 rounded up。 I’ve enjoyed other books on this topic a lot more。
Brennan
，
This is probably going to come across more harshly than I mean it to be。 But this book was a solid 3。 If Chatter is your first foray into this subject， you might like it more than I did。 Chatter discusses your inner dialogue， how it affects our lives， its purpose， and how to manage it。 That might give you the indication that it's a self-help book （it's not）。 The book looks at various aspects of how society and the individual both engage with our inner monologue and how that voice can help or hur This is probably going to come across more harshly than I mean it to be。 But this book was a solid 3。 If Chatter is your first foray into this subject， you might like it more than I did。 Chatter discusses your inner dialogue， how it affects our lives， its purpose， and how to manage it。 That might give you the indication that it's a self-help book （it's not）。 The book looks at various aspects of how society and the individual both engage with our inner monologue and how that voice can help or hurt us depending on how we manage it。 There are bursts of intriguing examples - using your own name， thinking about an anxiety-inducing situation as if it happened a year ago， or distancing yourself from the situation by speaking/thinking in the third person - that are interesting， though the "why" of them is never discussed。 And too few examples of the truly medical - the opening chapter starts off by discussing "chatter" in the mind of someone experiencing a stroke which is both the most fascinating and disturbing thing I've read in a while - but all too often Chatter can read like a novelized version of a Psych 101 textbook。 I picked this up after a New Yorker review， so I absolutely did this to myself。 To repeat， if you've never read on this subject， it's a quick read with a good set of intro material （and I'll lend it to you！）， but if this is an area you're interested in， I'd look for some thicker soup， if you take my meaning。 。。。more
Vinod Narayan
，
Book Podcasthttps://anchor。fm/penpositive/episode。。。 Book Podcasthttps://anchor。fm/penpositive/episode。。。 。。。more
Alyssa
，
I feel like this would have been a really interesting long-form article。 As a book it falls a little flat。
Barbra
，
“Co-rumination amounts to tossing fresh logs onto the fire of an already flaming inner voice。” Such great and helpful advice。 Highly recommend。
Carol El Hawary
，
This book is brilliant。 Based in scientific evidence and research， it's still easy to read and not too long。 I particularly love the Tools section which has practical ways to apply his findings。 I've already started using some and I can tell it's helpful。 This book is brilliant。 Based in scientific evidence and research， it's still easy to read and not too long。 I particularly love the Tools section which has practical ways to apply his findings。 I've already started using some and I can tell it's helpful。 。。。more
Joseph L。
，
Watch a detailed review along with my favorite ideas and takeaways at:https://youtu。be/FY_0ESXI0Xs Watch a detailed review along with my favorite ideas and takeaways at:https://youtu。be/FY_0ESXI0Xs 。。。more
Sherry Monger
，
Most of us have a critical inner voice intent upon destroying our self confidence and interfering with our ability to meet challenges effectively。 Chatter， written by a psychologist whose specialty is the unconscious mind， offers up tools for dealing with our unruly side。 Based upon scientific experiments， Kross explains what is happening， why， and how we can distance that voice to become more confident dealing with life’s disappointments and surprises。
Brian Sharp
，
Great informationThe book has some great perspectives on mind chatter。 However， there really only seemed to be a handful of key take always followed by a ton of real world examples。
Chrissy
，
For anyone who has an active inner voice or loves someone who does， this is a really accessible， entertaining and practical book。 The author weaves stories of everyday people， including himself， to make the book relatable。 Of our inner voice， he describes the psychology of managing it on a spectrum by starting with our individual experiences/beliefs， then the influence of our relationships， and finally to the overall places/spaces in which we live。 This structure works well because it mirrors th For anyone who has an active inner voice or loves someone who does， this is a really accessible， entertaining and practical book。 The author weaves stories of everyday people， including himself， to make the book relatable。 Of our inner voice， he describes the psychology of managing it on a spectrum by starting with our individual experiences/beliefs， then the influence of our relationships， and finally to the overall places/spaces in which we live。 This structure works well because it mirrors the main idea， that learning how to distance ourselves from our inner voice is an important skill， as reinforced via the reading experience。 It's a short read with a big punch。 。。。more
Elaine Ruth Boe
，