The Meaning of Birds
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- Create Date：2021-10-12 09:56:03
- Update Date：2025-09-07
- Status：finish
- Author：Jaye Robin Brown
- ISBN：0062824562
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Summary
“An evocative story of the thrills of first love and the anguish of first loss。 This will break you and heal you。” —Julie Murphy， #1 New York Times bestselling author of Dumplin’
Not to be missed by fans of Nina LaCour and Becky Albertalli， this powerful novel—from the acclaimed author of Georgia Peaches and Other Forbidden Fruit—paints a poignant portrait of love in the past， grief in the now， and the healing power of art。
Before: Jess has always struggled with the fire inside her。 But when she meets Vivi， everything changes。 As they fall for each other， Vivi helps Jess deal with her anger and pain and encourages her to embrace her artistic talent。 And suddenly Jess’s future is a blank canvas， filled with possibilities。
After: When Vivi unexpectedly dies， Jess’s perfect world is erased。 As she spirals out of control， Jess pushes away everyone around her and throws out her plans for art school。 Because art is Vivi and Vivi is gone forever。 Right when Jess feels at her lowest， she makes a surprising friend who just might be able to show her a new way to channel her rage， passion， and creativity。 But will Jess ever be able to forge a new path for herself without Vivi？
A beautiful exploration of first love and first loss， this novel effortlessly weaves together past and present to tell a profound story about how you can become whole again when it seems like you’ve lost the most important part of yourself。
Not to be missed by fans of Nina LaCour and Becky Albertalli， this powerful novel—from the acclaimed author of Georgia Peaches and Other Forbidden Fruit—paints a poignant portrait of love in the past， grief in the now， and the healing power of art。
Before: Jess has always struggled with the fire inside her。 But when she meets Vivi， everything changes。 As they fall for each other， Vivi helps Jess deal with her anger and pain and encourages her to embrace her artistic talent。 And suddenly Jess’s future is a blank canvas， filled with possibilities。
After: When Vivi unexpectedly dies， Jess’s perfect world is erased。 As she spirals out of control， Jess pushes away everyone around her and throws out her plans for art school。 Because art is Vivi and Vivi is gone forever。 Right when Jess feels at her lowest， she makes a surprising friend who just might be able to show her a new way to channel her rage， passion， and creativity。 But will Jess ever be able to forge a new path for herself without Vivi？
A beautiful exploration of first love and first loss， this novel effortlessly weaves together past and present to tell a profound story about how you can become whole again when it seems like you’ve lost the most important part of yourself。
Reviews
Jess Molina
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This book was refreshing and full of heart。 I felt connected immediately to the protagonist。 I think the author captured grief and the road to recovery so well。 I could see the layers of pain revealing the capacity to love and connect。 Such a lovely story would read again。
Gabrielle
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I absolutely loved this book。 Please read it you will not regret it。
Katherine Sparkle
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There are a few reasons I cannot make myself finish this。One， there's this sentence: "I was hoping to finagle some consent。" Finagle？！ Someone has set clear boundaries with Jess & she pushes against them repeatedly。 It makes me feel sick。Then， there's the casual ace- and biphobia。 Jess is manipulative。 Her grief may be great， but she isn't a sympathetic character to me。 I kind of hate her。I try to finish books when I can -- it can feel like a compulsion -- but sometimes it's just not worth it。 T There are a few reasons I cannot make myself finish this。One， there's this sentence: "I was hoping to finagle some consent。" Finagle？！ Someone has set clear boundaries with Jess & she pushes against them repeatedly。 It makes me feel sick。Then， there's the casual ace- and biphobia。 Jess is manipulative。 Her grief may be great， but she isn't a sympathetic character to me。 I kind of hate her。I try to finish books when I can -- it can feel like a compulsion -- but sometimes it's just not worth it。 This was such a disappointment。 。。。more
Alana
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la fin a rattrapé la première partie qui était， dans mes souvenirs， franchement nulle et j’ai fait une pause de 2 mois au milieu littéralement
layla
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3。5 stars ✨
Mandy
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i would rate this a 3。5 if i could。the premise？ excellent。 subject matter？ touching， heartfelt， and full of great literary potential。 and it's gay and written by the author of georgia peaches， which gave me the final push to pick it up in the first place。 the narrative is disjointed and the characterization is irregular to the point where it put me off。 the flashback/forward chapter style was charming at first but definitely disrupted the flow of the story after a while。 i'm willing to forgive t i would rate this a 3。5 if i could。the premise？ excellent。 subject matter？ touching， heartfelt， and full of great literary potential。 and it's gay and written by the author of georgia peaches， which gave me the final push to pick it up in the first place。 the narrative is disjointed and the characterization is irregular to the point where it put me off。 the flashback/forward chapter style was charming at first but definitely disrupted the flow of the story after a while。 i'm willing to forgive this book for lack of a directed plot since it's about the aftermath of grief and the senseless reeling that comes after it。 it makes sense to not have a structure of flow。 the irregular characterization and oft-mentioned homophobia is what made me dislike this book。 the mc， jess， is irrational and volatile。 she's destructive。 she drives people away in her anger。 fine。her love interest， vivi， is the main thing that kept her reigned in， and yet vivi is a blank caricature of an encouraging girlfriend with one interest and one debilitating health problem。 the disjointed chapter style didn't help to flesh her out at all。 jess's grief would have been more worth emotionally investing in if i myself could mourn the loss of her girlfriend， if i myself could understand what aspects exactly of vivi's character were worth missing through the mc's eyes。i understand the prevalence of homophobia in a deeply southern setting。 but it feels dated， and it's not relevant to read about/include in a story wrought entirely by the emotional scar of a loss。 tw for sexual assault later in this book too。 it's gross。 i suppose this might help flesh out the setting better for some people， but personally it put me off。 wouldn't really recommend。 better books are out there。 。。。more
Moni
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That's the gayest thing I've ever read。 It's such an emotional and so sophisticated book。 🥺 That's the gayest thing I've ever read。 It's such an emotional and so sophisticated book。 🥺 。。。more
Julianna
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i don’t think i’ve ever cried over a book， but i came close with this one。 i’ve read MANY novels revolving around romance and loss but not a single one of them affected me the way this one did。 read it。 read it now。 i don’t care who you are。 READ IT。 a huge upgrade from the disastrous book i didn’t finish last week， thank you so much dee for being the reason i know this book exists you are my #1 for life
Sydney
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heartbreaking but lovely
Dee Dolce
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I have to stop reading sad lesbian books because my heart cannot take this anymore
Isabelle Herondale
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I cried several times throughout this book， it’s a really inspiring story about Jess’s grief and where it took her， but eventually she found ways to become happy。
kiers
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look。 three things i liked here were the portrayal of grief， jess's newfound blacksmithing and friendship with greer and eliza， and jess and vivi's relationship。 but idk， i just。。。。there were some parts here that bugged me。 jess's bff is aro and although she explicitly states that she doesnt want to be teased about the one guy who hangs around her， jess and vivi keep doing it， plus jess accuses her of leading said guy on when she herself later on kisses the guy。 also the part that really made me look。 three things i liked here were the portrayal of grief， jess's newfound blacksmithing and friendship with greer and eliza， and jess and vivi's relationship。 but idk， i just。。。。there were some parts here that bugged me。 jess's bff is aro and although she explicitly states that she doesnt want to be teased about the one guy who hangs around her， jess and vivi keep doing it， plus jess accuses her of leading said guy on when she herself later on kisses the guy。 also the part that really made me 😐 was when a guy inappropriately grabbed jess， and so she punched him， but later on a friend got mad at her for it because it almost got them in trouble？？ like he defended her and shit but idk it feels weird that he still got mad and then told jess she "owed him" 。。。more
ang
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This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 3。5 stars。 Loved the author's note at the end。 The main character wasn't very likeable， but the likeableness of the other characters made her easier to put up with。 The novel dealt with loss in a touching and realistic way， as well as gave realistic， butterfly-ish feelings of falling in love for the first time。 Overall， I enjoyed the book and read it quickly， and I love that it's LGBTQ+ friendly （more so than just with the main lesbian relationship。） 3。5 stars。 Loved the author's note at the end。 The main character wasn't very likeable， but the likeableness of the other characters made her easier to put up with。 The novel dealt with loss in a touching and realistic way， as well as gave realistic， butterfly-ish feelings of falling in love for the first time。 Overall， I enjoyed the book and read it quickly， and I love that it's LGBTQ+ friendly （more so than just with the main lesbian relationship。） 。。。more
Arika
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Three stars just because I actually finished the book but I did not want to。 The story could of been great but over all the book was bland。 If you only want to read a good because it has a gay character go for it with limited representation take what you can。 This book is more for the young side of young adult。
Jill
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This is the first physical book I've gotten from the library since the pandemic started！ Yay for the library being open again！！That said， I was kind of underwhelmed。 People were all like， "tearjerker！" and I just wasn't in a place to be feeling it。 But as a social worker I did see value in the story to better understand youth who are struggling with loss and grief and just the long， slow， incremental progress than happens。 One reviewer called it "subtle" and I'd say Brown does that very well， th This is the first physical book I've gotten from the library since the pandemic started！ Yay for the library being open again！！That said， I was kind of underwhelmed。 People were all like， "tearjerker！" and I just wasn't in a place to be feeling it。 But as a social worker I did see value in the story to better understand youth who are struggling with loss and grief and just the long， slow， incremental progress than happens。 One reviewer called it "subtle" and I'd say Brown does that very well， though it felt more rushed at the end。 And of course （view spoiler）[ her friend saves the folder/portfolio of work that she threw away。 Duh。 （hide spoiler）] No so subtle on that one。 。。。more
Shaden Giselle
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Sinceramente， disfrute como nunca este libro， vivir de lleno la historia de Jess y Viví me rompió y me reconstruyó al mismo tiempo。 Me hice reflexionar tanto sobre lo cortita que es la vida y las instantes que tenemos que son eternos y no no damos cuenta。 Me parece una historia estupenda， unos personajes narrados y descritos a la perfección， mismos qué haces tuyos y te duele lo que les pasa… el desarrollo de la relación de Jess y Viví con el contraste del ANTES y el DESPUÉS fue increíble， fue un Sinceramente， disfrute como nunca este libro， vivir de lleno la historia de Jess y Viví me rompió y me reconstruyó al mismo tiempo。 Me hice reflexionar tanto sobre lo cortita que es la vida y las instantes que tenemos que son eternos y no no damos cuenta。 Me parece una historia estupenda， unos personajes narrados y descritos a la perfección， mismos qué haces tuyos y te duele lo que les pasa… el desarrollo de la relación de Jess y Viví con el contraste del ANTES y el DESPUÉS fue increíble， fue un libro duro， ya que en un capítulo podía encontrarme en las nubes， enamorada de su relación， de contagiaba de felicidad y al siguiente capítulo me entraba esa melancolía de leer ese “AHORA” en el titulo del capítulo。 Fue un viaje increíble este libro desde la primera página， sin duda， toca temas de valor para todos los jóvenes que lo lleguen a leer， habla del dolor de una manera cruda pero a la vez te habla de la superación， de la valentía， fortaleza y de ese proceso para salir adelante después de un duelo。 Increíble lectura y excelente trabajo de la autora， no puedo esperar a leer otro libro suyo！！ 。。。more
Natalia | readwithsobolek
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The best book I've ever read The best book I've ever read 。。。more
Teri Fox
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This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 A heartwarming， yet heartbreaking read。 I love the way Jaye Robin Brown has alternated tenses。 Getting to know Jess and Vivi’s story， being able to connect with them and their relationship emphasised the loss that Jess had gone through。 Reading on and seeing Jess being able to deal with the loss of Vivi and cope with the grief， while knowing it’s okay to let the sadness come and go was something that really warmed to me。 It showed grieving as a human process， it never goes away， and I appreciate A heartwarming， yet heartbreaking read。 I love the way Jaye Robin Brown has alternated tenses。 Getting to know Jess and Vivi’s story， being able to connect with them and their relationship emphasised the loss that Jess had gone through。 Reading on and seeing Jess being able to deal with the loss of Vivi and cope with the grief， while knowing it’s okay to let the sadness come and go was something that really warmed to me。 It showed grieving as a human process， it never goes away， and I appreciated that。 Even if this book made me cry， I loved it。 。。。more
Mia
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This book broke me and slowly picked up all the pieces。。。yea I cried and。。。 most people will cry with this book
Mme Kim
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Un vrai bijou qui traite de sujets tellement importants à l’adolescence : l’amour， la recherche d’identité， l’acceptation， le deuil， l’amitié et j’en passe ！ Même si j’apprécie moins les sauts dans le temps dans la rédaction， l’histoire demeure facile à suivre。 Enfin， les personnages sont attachants et chacun peut s’identifier à au moins un personnage du roman ！
JKH
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Jaye Robin Brown。。。 stop doing this to me ugh。 I really enjoyed this book （liked Georgia Peaches & Other Forbidden Fruit more but this was still good） but just like in Georgia Peaches & Other Forbidden Fruit， there were some questionable stuff。 Ex: the comment about Nina （aromantic and asexual） being an unfeeling bitch who can't feel properly。。。 not cool。 I understand that the MC was grieving and lashing out but there was never really an apology。 That being said。。 this book made me shed a few te Jaye Robin Brown。。。 stop doing this to me ugh。 I really enjoyed this book （liked Georgia Peaches & Other Forbidden Fruit more but this was still good） but just like in Georgia Peaches & Other Forbidden Fruit， there were some questionable stuff。 Ex: the comment about Nina （aromantic and asexual） being an unfeeling bitch who can't feel properly。。。 not cool。 I understand that the MC was grieving and lashing out but there was never really an apology。 That being said。。 this book made me shed a few tears in like the first chapter。 So， can you see my dilemma about rating this book？ I do recommend this book but be cautious and look up the TWs and CWs。 。。。more
Jana Engel
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Somehow， I didn't cry while reading this book。 There were many many beautifully written， heartstring-pulling moments。 I loved reading this book because the teenage queer representation was so spot on。 And although I've never lost a loved one （yet）， the themes of grief and moving forward were still relatable。 The sad mood of the novel was certainly balanced with the cute couple moments that Jess and Vivi shared， which I really enjoyed， along with the occasional humour。 Would 100% recommend it！！ Somehow， I didn't cry while reading this book。 There were many many beautifully written， heartstring-pulling moments。 I loved reading this book because the teenage queer representation was so spot on。 And although I've never lost a loved one （yet）， the themes of grief and moving forward were still relatable。 The sad mood of the novel was certainly balanced with the cute couple moments that Jess and Vivi shared， which I really enjoyed， along with the occasional humour。 Would 100% recommend it！！ 。。。more
Alicia
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This wasn't as sad and depressing as I thought it might be， I think because the book was split chapter by chapter between then and now， which gave it some separation。 Jess had such a hard time with the loss of Vivi， and goes through so much to move past that。 I appreciated the pun in the blurb once I finished， and loved that it was kept in the realistic realm， with no magic solution popping up to save the day。 It's well worth picking this one up。 This wasn't as sad and depressing as I thought it might be， I think because the book was split chapter by chapter between then and now， which gave it some separation。 Jess had such a hard time with the loss of Vivi， and goes through so much to move past that。 I appreciated the pun in the blurb once I finished， and loved that it was kept in the realistic realm， with no magic solution popping up to save the day。 It's well worth picking this one up。 。。。more
aestherdiary
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more a 3。5 because i spent a REALLY great time but i feel like i needed more details/memories and sometimes the story was a bit fast BUT i loved it！！🌈
snickers
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Tbh， i accidentally bought this book because the beautiful cover looks like a boy and a girl so i bought it without thinking。 Then， i realized it was about love between girls so i didnt put much expectation since i prefer to read boy-girl romance， but i still give it a try。 Turns out it was good！ I love the feeling after i finish this book as it makes me learn more about friendship， grief， move forward in life instead of thinking about the past， the positive vibes and all the good things。 I almo Tbh， i accidentally bought this book because the beautiful cover looks like a boy and a girl so i bought it without thinking。 Then， i realized it was about love between girls so i didnt put much expectation since i prefer to read boy-girl romance， but i still give it a try。 Turns out it was good！ I love the feeling after i finish this book as it makes me learn more about friendship， grief， move forward in life instead of thinking about the past， the positive vibes and all the good things。 I almost cry at the end of the book but it turned to a smile。 Indeed， a good book！ 。。。more
Trigger Warning Database
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Trigger & Content WarningsQueermisiaSuicidal ideation
Courtney
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*3。75
Vera-Michele
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4。5/5 StarsI'm sobbing。 This book hit me like a storm。 I cried and I laughed， and I smiled， and I fell in love with the romance even though I knew it was going to end in one of them dead。 I felt for Jess so much and I had so much love for her。 And so much hope。 This book went into my heart and it's not gonna leave for awhile。 4。5/5 StarsI'm sobbing。 This book hit me like a storm。 I cried and I laughed， and I smiled， and I fell in love with the romance even though I knew it was going to end in one of them dead。 I felt for Jess so much and I had so much love for her。 And so much hope。 This book went into my heart and it's not gonna leave for awhile。 。。。more
A
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If you're a wlw who has experienced a break up or loss， this will definitely hit hard。 However， if you're looking for a book about LGBTQ+ grief， I'd recommend History Is All You Left Me over this one。 While I related to the characters in this novel more， it kind of felt 2 dimensional at some points， and the MC became unlikeable and kind of gross in some scenes。 // I mention some details here but there's no main plot spoilers ahead //There's a few things that ticked me off in the novel - the MC p If you're a wlw who has experienced a break up or loss， this will definitely hit hard。 However， if you're looking for a book about LGBTQ+ grief， I'd recommend History Is All You Left Me over this one。 While I related to the characters in this novel more， it kind of felt 2 dimensional at some points， and the MC became unlikeable and kind of gross in some scenes。 // I mention some details here but there's no main plot spoilers ahead //There's a few things that ticked me off in the novel - the MC pushes to label her best friends sexuality （it doesn't come off as Ace/Aro representation， its brought up once at the beginning and never again）。 the MC also sexualizes a married woman for no reason except to mention "wow， boobs" in her narrating， and at one point seems to push for consent from her girlfriend （though this is slightly redeemed later in the scene， it's still uncomfortable and unacceptable imo）。 The author seems slightly detached from modern day teens， but I find that with most YA novels。 The book redeems itself slightly in the nuances that only a queer author could instill， and it made me feel understood as a young wlw。 Thinking being straight would be so much easier， the loss of a first girlfriend， straight people not truly understanding the pain， struggle， and intensity of emotion in a young LGBT relationship， it all felt relevant and real to me， and I related to the anger and pain of the MC a lot。 Overall， not a must read， I wouldn't read it again。 I'm glad I got it from the library and didn't buy it。 However if you're someone looking for/interested in simply a YA about wlw， you'll probably like it。 。。。more
Sierra （shesgotstories）
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I will preface this review by saying that there are many trigger warnings for this book。 Even if you choose not to read the rest of this review， please look up the trigger warnings。 It can be a heavy book as the plot is the main character dealing with the intense grief that comes from the result of losing someone close。 Other triggers include sexual assault， biphobia/panphobia， aphobia， multiple usages of the d slur， homophobia， among many others。 This book does have some references to Harry Pot I will preface this review by saying that there are many trigger warnings for this book。 Even if you choose not to read the rest of this review， please look up the trigger warnings。 It can be a heavy book as the plot is the main character dealing with the intense grief that comes from the result of losing someone close。 Other triggers include sexual assault， biphobia/panphobia， aphobia， multiple usages of the d slur， homophobia， among many others。 This book does have some references to Harry Potter as well。 Now onto the review。This book's chapters alternate between events before and after Vivi's death and we view the story from Jess' perspective。 Jess isn't really a lovable character， especially as the story progresses。 She has anger management issues that she attends therapy for and she's not so bad as a character until some of her dialogue with others begins。 First of all， I hated how she was aphobic towards her best friend。 As someone who doesn't date and feels the constant pressure from everyone around me to date， this hit too close to home。 Jess' repeated harassment of her best friend's refusal to date was too far for me。 It's not okay to continuously bring it up and purposefully embarrass someone about it。 That was one of my first strikes。 Then we read a scene between Jess and Vivi where Vivi explains that she would be potentially interested in guys and maybe even fluid people （it doesn't explicitly tell us whether she's bisexual， pansexual， or anything else） and Jess becomes angry and invalidates Vivi。 This is extremely problematic and is something that is present in the LGBTQIA+ community that needs to stop。 The scene was very biphobic/panphobic and made me really begin to resent Jess。 While I understand that she is dealing with a lot both before and after the death of Vivi， none of this excuses her behavior towards her friends。 Frankly， some of her behavior made me wonder how she has managed to even keep the few friends she does have。 And her trying to coerce Vivi into sex and talking about how she'd get her to consent eventually was awful。 I won't even write out the inner monologue of that scene because I want to forget it forever。 That was unacceptable and really angered me。 The last strike against Jess before I deemed her a completely awful character was when she kissed a guy and thought that it can't be cheating if she's a lesbian。 Like， girl， I hate to break it to you， but it most definitely is。 Jess really needed to reevaluate herself and her many awful decisions and perhaps actually consider those around her and their feelings for once。 Since The Meaning of Birds is considered a young adult novel， with all the problematic scenes and dialogue in the book， I really wouldn't recommend it as YA。 Teens are an impressionable crowd and with the problematic scenes not discussed properly and there no distinguishing moments of "Hey， this isn't okay and this is why it isn't okay"， it could leave some bad impressions。 It would've been one thing if the book explained some of the more problematic moments and had the characters address them， but Jess would literally say something awful and the other character wouldn't address it or there didn't appear to be an impression left when there most definitely should have been。 This book is kinda the blueprint of what not to do and is not the coming-of-age tale I thought it was going to be。Despite my dislike of the main character， the story itself wasn't too bad。 It did portray grief well in my opinion， but everyone does experience it differently。 It can be a heavy book at times though。 I liked the positivity around artists， especially the unique inclusion of female blacksmiths。 That was kinda badass and it is certainly an underappreciated field。 I did like Eliza and Greer and how they take Jess under their wing。 Jess definitely needed some decent mentors and they seemed fun。 I liked the alternating chapters before and after Vivi's death although perhaps it didn't portray the main messages of the story as strong as I had hoped。 Vivi's cause of death is one that I think people too far often overlook and is a reminder that sometimes death is closer than you think。Overall， I wouldn't recommend it based on so much of Jess's dialogue， especially for younger and impressionable readers。 This is definitely NOT just a sad coming-of-age story like you might be led to believe。 With its many triggers and underdeveloped characters， you can find better sapphic reads and representation elsewhere。 It's not really worth the few cute moments and maybe one scene that may make you a little teary-eyed。Read at your own risk。 。。。more
Reference
google book https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=The Meaning of Birds
hathitrust digital library https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/ls?q1=The Meaning of Birds&field1=ocr&a=srchls&ft=ft&lmt=ft
The British Library https://bll01.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/discovery/search?query=any,contains,The Meaning of Birds&tab=LibraryCatalog&search_scope=Not_BL_Suppress&vid=44BL_INST:BLL01&lang=en&offset=0