The Boy Crisis: Why Our Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It
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- Create Date：2021-10-07 08:53:27
- Update Date：2025-09-06
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- Author：Warren Farrell
- ISBN：1948836130
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Summary
What is the boy crisis？It's a crisis of education。 For the first time in American history， our sons will have less education than their dads。 It's a crisis of mental health。 As boys become young men， their suicide rates go from equal to girls to six times that of young women。 It's a crisis of sexuality。 Sex is a minefield for our sons。 They're bombarded with mixed messages， afraid of being either too sensitive or not sensitive enough。 It's a crisis of fathering。 Boys with less-involved fathers are more likely to drop out of school， drink， do drugs， become delinquent， and end up in prison。 It's a crisis of purpose。 Boys' old senses of purposes， being a warrior， a leader， or a sole breadwinner， are fading。 Many bright boys are experiencing a "purpose void，" feeling alienated， withdrawn and addicted to immediate gratification。 Compounding this issue are addicting video games that lead to distraction and ADHD。So， what is The Boy Crisis？ A comprehensive blueprint for what parents， teachers， and policy-makers can do to renew our sons' sense of purpose to help them become men， fathers， and leaders worthy of our respect。
Reviews
Jarrod Terry
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Definitely worth reading if you are a parent， step-parent， mentor， coach， teacher， or leader in any capacity who may come into contact with boys or young men。 Has some incredible pieces of data and practical things that can help in the raising of boys into men。Boys are truly being left behind by society and this book tackles what that may look like if we don't start stepping up and pouring into them Definitely worth reading if you are a parent， step-parent， mentor， coach， teacher， or leader in any capacity who may come into contact with boys or young men。 Has some incredible pieces of data and practical things that can help in the raising of boys into men。Boys are truly being left behind by society and this book tackles what that may look like if we don't start stepping up and pouring into them 。。。more
Mohammed Sofian
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Wonderful 。。。
Daniel Harding
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1。 Skipped a few chapters on ADHD2。 A handful of useful eye-openers and stats3。 Feels similar to a previous book of his I read 4。 A little dry in places5。 Not that accessible due to its length
Jessica
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I have mixed feelings about the book as a whole。 Here are the few problems I have with the book:1。 Content can be much more concise。 2。 Few examples provided read like statements made up specifically to support his points。 Either elaborate on the example or just don't offer any。3。 The homeopathic treatment for ADHD。 I need to read more about these alternative therapies before forming my own opinion about its validity。Otherwise， I think it's a much needed voice in today's climate。 I have mixed feelings about the book as a whole。 Here are the few problems I have with the book:1。 Content can be much more concise。 2。 Few examples provided read like statements made up specifically to support his points。 Either elaborate on the example or just don't offer any。3。 The homeopathic treatment for ADHD。 I need to read more about these alternative therapies before forming my own opinion about its validity。Otherwise， I think it's a much needed voice in today's climate。 。。。more
Sylvie M。
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I had a parade of onomatopea going on in my mind。 I wish I could have read this book at the beginning of my teaching career。 Live enhancing！
Jeff
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There was some promise at the beginning with some useful advice on fathering boys that I will implement。 That being said， this book promotes a victim mindset for males that I don’t believe serves anyone。 Last， the inclusion of alternative medicine which is useful for those open to it， is undermined by promoting their own products。 I don’t recommend this book。
Ideas Sleep Furiously
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Would be five stars without John Gray's odd part 6。 Would be five stars without John Gray's odd part 6。 。。。more
Celeste
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The first half of this book was infers and I enjoyed the studies and emphasis of the benefits of fathers in the home。 It helped me to appreciate Pete’s parenting style more。 The second half which concentrates one ADHD gets kind of hookie and detailed about minerals， etc-which it might be true， but I wouldn’t attempt any of it without a doctor。 It was 4 stars until the end。
Tomáš Labanc
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Lots of useful insigths for future fathers， loved it
Jason Christine
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Interesting insights
Dustless Walnut
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While I think the author and I agree with the general premise that many young American men are lacking direction and support， I was quite frustrated with the author on multiple occasions during this read。From the very get-go， his anecdote about John Lennon was particularly upsetting。 While it's lovely that once he was a world-renowned multi-millionaire who "stopped working to be a primary parent"， where's the mention of him screaming at Sean so loudly that he damaged his hearing requiring medica While I think the author and I agree with the general premise that many young American men are lacking direction and support， I was quite frustrated with the author on multiple occasions during this read。From the very get-go， his anecdote about John Lennon was particularly upsetting。 While it's lovely that once he was a world-renowned multi-millionaire who "stopped working to be a primary parent"， where's the mention of him screaming at Sean so loudly that he damaged his hearing requiring medical intervention？ And no mention whatsoever of Julian， his first son who he completely abandoned after abusing his first wife， while he was being a "primary parent" to Sean？ As a man that was not socialized with hazing as a core component of friendship， bonding， etc。， I find it rather disgusting that he gives examples of male hazing as *positive* male attributes that need to be nurtured and accepted。 My experience being bullied in K-12 almost all stemmed from not understanding that the overwhelming majority of boys I went to school with were raised to haze any and all outsiders， and I think it's ludicrous to suggest that not only that behavior be perpetuated， but that people who don't enjoy it should just get over it and learn how "men work" （how men are taught to interact。） If hazing is an innately male trait， why have there been sorority hazing scandals？ Hazing is a trait of dominance and power， not of males。 Yes， I think the author and I would agree that historically men are taught dominance and power， but I think we'd also agree that's a *bad* thing。 The co-author has some wildly nonsensical views of ADHD and other disorders and some of his suggestions seem to border on malpractice， in my opinion。 There are ultimately too many things I didn't like about this book to list them all。 Here's a few things I did appreciate: * TANF and other social safety nets requiring fathers to be absent is damaging policy and undoubtedly prevents many children from having their fathers in their lives。* Prison for child support arrears is draconian and counterproductive。 Child support should be a Federal social safety net。 * Parents need to improve communication within their relationships， wither they are together or separated。 TLDR; Interesting premise， unhelpful content。 。。。more
Roberto Moralez
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Very informative。 I think I was drawn to this book because I feel like I was affected by this crisis。 Some things I read were glaringly obvious in my life， while others lurked below the surface of my subconscious until I read them in this book。
Felix
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Excellent。 A must read for Fathers of Sons or anyone really
Arnout
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Would give 3，5 stars if possible。 The book touches a long overdue topic: the necessity of awareness of the problems that boys and men are facing this day and age。 Anyone in their right mind would agree with the propositions of this book， certainly after having read it。The problem for me was the writing style and the book structure。 The writing is very， very sloganesque。 As if Farrell wants every sentence to be like the quotes posted on 'inspirational quotes' websites。 It gets very annoying。 As f Would give 3，5 stars if possible。 The book touches a long overdue topic: the necessity of awareness of the problems that boys and men are facing this day and age。 Anyone in their right mind would agree with the propositions of this book， certainly after having read it。The problem for me was the writing style and the book structure。 The writing is very， very sloganesque。 As if Farrell wants every sentence to be like the quotes posted on 'inspirational quotes' websites。 It gets very annoying。 As for the book structure， it's just too chaotic。 There's a total of 32（！） chapters， each containing a few subdivisions， and often these subdivisions are subdivided again。 Maybe Farrell does this to make the book more digestible for inexperienced readers， but for me it just makes the book incoherent， chaotic。To end on a positive note: the stories about Farrell's personal experience with dads and sons are very touching and inspirational。 The fact that Farrell is a respected feminist himself， and has helped improve the situations of thousands of people through his books， lectures and self help groups， makes his message all the more credible。 。。。more
Henry
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- "Boys" around the world are experiencing crisis， driven by multiple factors （such as better security net， more options for both sexes， lack of purpose in life）- "Girls" on the other hand are not experiencing the same crisis。 Rather， the opportunities for women has been better than ever before。 Women are succeeding in education and jobs that are detrimental for the knowledge based economy- The boy crisis comes to the fact that while girls has been supported to adapt to the modern society， boys - "Boys" around the world are experiencing crisis， driven by multiple factors （such as better security net， more options for both sexes， lack of purpose in life）- "Girls" on the other hand are not experiencing the same crisis。 Rather， the opportunities for women has been better than ever before。 Women are succeeding in education and jobs that are detrimental for the knowledge based economy- The boy crisis comes to the fact that while girls has been supported to adapt to the modern society， boys are not taught the same way。 Rather， boys were still taught to provide for the family and nothing else （author suggest a middle way is better， sharing household chores and money making with the partner）- Many of the "problems" boy today face （such as ADHD） comes from the fact that society today is different than before。 For instance， school's heavier emphasis on test score and less emphasis on physical actives increases boys' ADHD level。 。。。more
Egor Gorelyy
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The book presents a fascinating look into the boy crisis that is， however， marred by the inlusion of the section on ADHD which contains some bits of interesting information and a lot of highly suspect claims。4 Stars for the section written by Farrell， 1。5 stars for the section by Gray
Erin
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A must-read for all parents of boys！ I learned so much about the affects of different things in our environment on our boys。
JW
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A worthwhile slog full of ample evidence on why we need to liberate the disposable sex WHILE ALSO supporting women in their ongoing liberation。
Ruth Meyer
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I wish this book had been available 15 years ago。 When first I started this book， I read， “I have found that the most important single tool you can give your son is once- or twice-weekly ‘family dinner nights’” （p 7）。 I thought， Can it really be that simple？ We already do family dinner nights nearly every night！ The answer is yes。 And no。 It’s not just the act of eating together， but making a point of meaningful discussions during the time a family is sitting down together。 It’s the process， thr I wish this book had been available 15 years ago。 When first I started this book， I read， “I have found that the most important single tool you can give your son is once- or twice-weekly ‘family dinner nights’” （p 7）。 I thought， Can it really be that simple？ We already do family dinner nights nearly every night！ The answer is yes。 And no。 It’s not just the act of eating together， but making a point of meaningful discussions during the time a family is sitting down together。 It’s the process， throughout the growing-up years， of learning how to listen and how to articulate one’s own opinions on a subject， the art of comparing other people’s views to your own and learning to respect other opinions。 Warren Farrell gives “The Five Essentials” of family dinner nights in Appendix A at the back of the book， which is immensely helpful， and he sprinkles ideas for discussion topics throughout the book。One thing I really appreciate about this book is the emphasis on the importance of involved dads。 He cites statistics about father loss and father deprivation that are shocking。 For anyone who is skeptical just how important dads are in the lives of their children （especially boys）， read this book。 Part IV of the book really delves into the *why* of the importance of dads。 The list on p 127 of when dads begin to matter is fascinating， charting many important qualities such as adaptability， IQ， trust， regulating aggression， and psychological health that are （or aren’t） fostered in a child by preschool by their fathers。 Chapter 16， “What Dads Do Differently” was particular useful （though difficult！） for me personally。 Being a mom， I wish I’d read this sooner， because I have been guilty of trying to make my husband parent like me， rather than embracing his own unique （distinctly male） contributions。 No surprise that a book coauthored by John Gray （author of Men Are from Mars， Women Are from Venus） would include a section about what males and females do differently in parenting， and why it’s important that a “checks and balances” system be utilized by spouses to highlight the best of both styles of parenting。 I almost skipped over Part VI， which is dedicated to ADHD， but I’m glad I didn’t， because even if your own children haven’t been diagnosed with ADHD， there is really useful information in this section about how to deal with ADHD and other difficulties concentrating or regulating behavior， all without the use of medication。 Many of the suggestions can easily be implemented even for kids who aren’t struggling with ADHD to help increase focus and brain health， such as simple diet changes and vitamin and mineral supplements that are lacking in our modern-day diets。The book gives great insights， backed by research， on why our boys are facing a crisis and what we can do about it。 Don’t let the length deter you; it’s a fairly quick read， and the last 80 pages are just bibliography， sources， and index。 The Boy Crisis tackles head-on the purpose void our boys are facing， the dad deprivation crisis， and “heroic intelligence” versus “health intelligence。” My only disappointment with this book is the references peppered throughout to our “evolutionary development，” which I could most definitely do without。 Nonetheless， if you can ignore those， it’s a great book filled with excellent suggestions。 If you’re a mom， dad， grandparent， aunt， uncle， teacher， mentor， coach， role model—basically， if you know any boys—do the boys in your life a favor and read this book。 。。。more
Arno
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I very much liked the first half of the book， the second part felt a bit more of the same， and I skipped the ADHD part based on reviews of this book。However， I did not feel it is written for my particular context。 I am from the Netherlands and don't think the "heroic / feminism" problems are really that big here。 Nonetheless， it is a nice read that made me think about my 2 boys。 I very much liked the first half of the book， the second part felt a bit more of the same， and I skipped the ADHD part based on reviews of this book。However， I did not feel it is written for my particular context。 I am from the Netherlands and don't think the "heroic / feminism" problems are really that big here。 Nonetheless， it is a nice read that made me think about my 2 boys。 。。。more
Patrick Hanlon
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Farrell's portion of the book， which focuses on the consequences of what he calls the cultural sense of disposability of males is insightful and has a lot of insight into trends， solutions and interventions to deal with these concerns。 A lot of it may sound familiar and he seems to be as focused on advocating for the needs of males and boys throughout childhood as he is on the ways fathers and parents can ensure they are well cared for。 John Gray's portion， which dwells on the impact of modern p Farrell's portion of the book， which focuses on the consequences of what he calls the cultural sense of disposability of males is insightful and has a lot of insight into trends， solutions and interventions to deal with these concerns。 A lot of it may sound familiar and he seems to be as focused on advocating for the needs of males and boys throughout childhood as he is on the ways fathers and parents can ensure they are well cared for。 John Gray's portion， which dwells on the impact of modern plastics and other chemicals on brain development， and specifically ADHD and Autism seems out of place and does not align with much of what he has written throughout his career。 。。。more
Alienor
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I prevaricated reading this book， for two reasons; the first one is that I need to open the can of worms that was my parents’ divorce and the subsequent absence of my father in my life。 I never looked into it， have no memories/feel completely indifferent about it。 But that was what my mother demanded from me。 I was 6。 I doubt I was indifferent。 The only way I can get in touch with what happened is to read books about it。 But - 2nd reason - I’m a woman and I found myself getting very frustrated a I prevaricated reading this book， for two reasons; the first one is that I need to open the can of worms that was my parents’ divorce and the subsequent absence of my father in my life。 I never looked into it， have no memories/feel completely indifferent about it。 But that was what my mother demanded from me。 I was 6。 I doubt I was indifferent。 The only way I can get in touch with what happened is to read books about it。 But - 2nd reason - I’m a woman and I found myself getting very frustrated about the focus on boys。 Yes， I know， there was a clue in the title。 But I just haven’t been able to find books about the impact of fatherlessness on both sexes， or just girls。 Anyway， the book was great， gave solid facts， even if I find it a bit maudlin at times。 I’m now frustrated and angry but that’s not the book’s fault， it’s something I need to go through。 The list of negative effects was worth the price of the book 。。。more
Bill Webber
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This was a tough one。。。generally agree with the principles in this book， but as a father of an alienated son， I'm at something of a loss as to how best to apply the ideas in this book。 I understand the "solution to boys without dads is to have dads" but I sure wish I knew how to do this。 This sure seems like a societal issue and one that I cannot do much about anymore。。。no family dinners。If anyone is reading this who has some idea how best to "appropriately try" to interact with an estranged son This was a tough one。。。generally agree with the principles in this book， but as a father of an alienated son， I'm at something of a loss as to how best to apply the ideas in this book。 I understand the "solution to boys without dads is to have dads" but I sure wish I knew how to do this。 This sure seems like a societal issue and one that I cannot do much about anymore。。。no family dinners。If anyone is reading this who has some idea how best to "appropriately try" to interact with an estranged son， I'm all ears。 I just hope that one day he'll be ready to interact back with me。 。。。more
Itai Makate
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Great read into the challenges faced by boys in todays world。 Makes a lot of sense， well researched and recommended reading for any parent or would be parent。
Alexandru Terbea
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A good essay on the impacts of dad depravation on the development of boys， and the struggles of boys and men in today's more female focused world。 Surely worth a read for those who are preparing for fatherhood。 However the last couple of chapters about ADHD and autism spectrum disorder should be read with a critical eye， as they seem to be based on several pseudo-scientific lines of thought （hence my 4 star rating）。 A good essay on the impacts of dad depravation on the development of boys， and the struggles of boys and men in today's more female focused world。 Surely worth a read for those who are preparing for fatherhood。 However the last couple of chapters about ADHD and autism spectrum disorder should be read with a critical eye， as they seem to be based on several pseudo-scientific lines of thought （hence my 4 star rating）。 。。。more
Kevin Fulton
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The first part， written by Farrell， is largely excellent。 There are many eye-opening statistics that show the unique challenges boys face today。 Also， importantly， this s is not a woe is me， look how hard it is to be a man book。 It shows the statistics， explains the challenge， and then provides an evidence informed way forward。 The second part （~120 pages）， written by Gray， is not so strong。 Here， Gray comes across as selling his products and services。 And it’s a shame because nutrition and exer The first part， written by Farrell， is largely excellent。 There are many eye-opening statistics that show the unique challenges boys face today。 Also， importantly， this s is not a woe is me， look how hard it is to be a man book。 It shows the statistics， explains the challenge， and then provides an evidence informed way forward。 The second part （~120 pages）， written by Gray， is not so strong。 Here， Gray comes across as selling his products and services。 And it’s a shame because nutrition and exercise are hugely beneficial， but I worry that his writing style oversells what nutrition and exercise can deliver。 。。。more
Matt
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Some really profound insights。 But too wordy at points。 Made it 3/4 of the way through and decided I was done。
Sadie
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Well researched and full of food for thought。 Found the solutions offered lacking。
Josh
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This book is a pretty unique one。 I've been seeing the numbers that it brings up for years now， and its been unsettling， but this book brought a lot of those together very well。 There's a lot of concerns to be had about the mental and physical welfare of boys and men that aren't generally talked about very much。 While I don't agree with many of the conclusions in the book， it's great that it creates the impetus for a very important field of conversation。 I think that this is an important read fo This book is a pretty unique one。 I've been seeing the numbers that it brings up for years now， and its been unsettling， but this book brought a lot of those together very well。 There's a lot of concerns to be had about the mental and physical welfare of boys and men that aren't generally talked about very much。 While I don't agree with many of the conclusions in the book， it's great that it creates the impetus for a very important field of conversation。 I think that this is an important read for anyone that wants to keep up on relevant modern issues and underlying problems in society。 The Boy Crisis tries to examine the modern male equivalent to "the problem that has no name，" and the numbers show that it's a very serious one。 Again， this is an important read， so while I can't endorse all of it， I think that it has a lot of good and relevant stuff。 。。。more
Kash Al
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