Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol
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- Author：Holly Whitaker
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Summary
The founder of a female-focused recovery program offers a radical new path to sobriety。
“You don’t know how much you need this book， or maybe you do。 Either way， it will save your life。”—Melissa Hartwig Urban， Whole30 co-founder and CEO
We live in a world obsessed with drinking。 We drink at baby showers and work events， brunch and book club， graduations and funerals。 Yet no one ever questions alcohol’s ubiquity—in fact， the only thing ever questioned is why someone doesn’t drink。 It is a qualifier for belonging and if you don’t imbibe， you are considered an anomaly。 As a society， we are obsessed with health and wellness， yet we uphold alcohol as some kind of magic elixir， though it is anything but。
When Holly Whitaker decided to seek help after one too many benders， she embarked on a journey that led not only to her own sobriety， but revealed the insidious role alcohol plays in our society and in the lives of women in particular。 What’s more， she could not ignore the ways that alcohol companies were targeting women， just as the tobacco industry had successfully done generations before。 Fueled by her own emerging feminism， she also realized that the predominant systems of recovery are archaic， patriarchal， and ineffective for the unique needs of women and other historically oppressed people—who don’t need to lose their egos and surrender to a male concept of God， as the tenets of Alcoholics Anonymous state， but who need to cultivate a deeper understanding of their own identities and take control of their lives。 When Holly found an alternate way out of her own addiction， she felt a calling to create a sober community with resources for anyone questioning their relationship with drinking， so that they might find their way as well。 Her resultant feminine-centric recovery program focuses on getting at the root causes that lead people to overindulge and provides the tools necessary to break the cycle of addiction， showing us what is possible when we remove alcohol and destroy our belief system around it。
Written in a relatable voice that is honest and witty， Quit Like a Woman is at once a groundbreaking look at drinking culture and a road map to cutting out alcohol in order to live our best lives without the crutch of intoxication。 You will never look at drinking the same way again。
“You don’t know how much you need this book， or maybe you do。 Either way， it will save your life。”—Melissa Hartwig Urban， Whole30 co-founder and CEO
We live in a world obsessed with drinking。 We drink at baby showers and work events， brunch and book club， graduations and funerals。 Yet no one ever questions alcohol’s ubiquity—in fact， the only thing ever questioned is why someone doesn’t drink。 It is a qualifier for belonging and if you don’t imbibe， you are considered an anomaly。 As a society， we are obsessed with health and wellness， yet we uphold alcohol as some kind of magic elixir， though it is anything but。
When Holly Whitaker decided to seek help after one too many benders， she embarked on a journey that led not only to her own sobriety， but revealed the insidious role alcohol plays in our society and in the lives of women in particular。 What’s more， she could not ignore the ways that alcohol companies were targeting women， just as the tobacco industry had successfully done generations before。 Fueled by her own emerging feminism， she also realized that the predominant systems of recovery are archaic， patriarchal， and ineffective for the unique needs of women and other historically oppressed people—who don’t need to lose their egos and surrender to a male concept of God， as the tenets of Alcoholics Anonymous state， but who need to cultivate a deeper understanding of their own identities and take control of their lives。 When Holly found an alternate way out of her own addiction， she felt a calling to create a sober community with resources for anyone questioning their relationship with drinking， so that they might find their way as well。 Her resultant feminine-centric recovery program focuses on getting at the root causes that lead people to overindulge and provides the tools necessary to break the cycle of addiction， showing us what is possible when we remove alcohol and destroy our belief system around it。
Written in a relatable voice that is honest and witty， Quit Like a Woman is at once a groundbreaking look at drinking culture and a road map to cutting out alcohol in order to live our best lives without the crutch of intoxication。 You will never look at drinking the same way again。
Reviews
Marella Mylet
，
This book is the single most amazing book I’ve picked up in the last year。 I didn’t read this book because I need to stop drinking （although I have）。 I read this book because as I’m going through yet ANOTHER breakup with a narcissistic sociopath whom I ONCE AGAIN was the one to cut ties with， I am being told by my close friends that something is wrong with me - that I obviously attract narcs because *I’m* the codependent one， and I need to dive deeper into therapy。 It doesn’t matter that I’m alw This book is the single most amazing book I’ve picked up in the last year。 I didn’t read this book because I need to stop drinking （although I have）。 I read this book because as I’m going through yet ANOTHER breakup with a narcissistic sociopath whom I ONCE AGAIN was the one to cut ties with， I am being told by my close friends that something is wrong with me - that I obviously attract narcs because *I’m* the codependent one， and I need to dive deeper into therapy。 It doesn’t matter that I’m always the one to very quickly severe ties and/or seek help from a professional the instant I realize a friend， family member or a other kind of loved one is a narc - it only matters that I seem to keep attracting them and have to cut them loose。 So while I’m personally feeling empowered because I immediately draw boundaries and protect myself and my children， I have friends who keep insisting that I go out for drinks with them， to discuss why my therapist who is 20 years deep into counseling women like me， is wrong in saying that I’m not codependent and although she knows I’m lonely， I should be proud of myself for standing strong。 When I turn down drinks， because I’m not drinking anymore， I am then promptly lectured on my need to choose “sobriety”， which apparently automatically proves that I am codependent and have an addictive personality。 So I picked up this book to try to figure out why the fuck drinking is so important to everyone （I enjoy a good glass of wine and I feel safe drinking with my parents and siblings， but typically nobody else）， and why it’s not so important to me。。。。。。and why this is SO offensive。 This book gave me those answers and the answers to so much more。 I think it’s a must-read whether you’re struggling with alcoholism， or you’re like me and you’re “just” struggling with judgy people who are themselves addicts in some way or another。 There is so much to glean and just so。much。girl。power。 I’m totally in love with Holly and will be riding on her hope and optimism for months to come， I just know it！ 。。。more
Julie
，
I have a new understanding of recovery beyond the patriarchal system of the twelve step program。
Brooke Bell
，
I picked up this book not in hopes of quitting drinking but better understanding oppressive systems to women and minorities。 It was so moving， motivating and transformative。 Given me more insight into issues that exist in and outside of addiction and the way white male privilege has shaped the way we look at recovery and alcohol。 Even if you’re not intending to quit drinking， this book is for you。 It gave me motivation to love life， and myself。 It will be a book I read again and again。
Katie Freeman
，
This book is a great read， inspirational and realistic。
Kris
，
Insightful。 Powerful。 Enjoyable。
Alexandra Posadzki
，
I wasn't a huge fan of the author's vulgar， no-holds-barred voice at first but it grew on me。 She definitely reframed drinking in a way that makes it much less appealing and provided a pretty comprehensive， progressive and intersectional overview of addiction。 I found it a bit strange and cliche that she drops hints about finding God/Jesus in sobriety but never really explains that part of her journey。 I'd recommend this book to any woman who consumes alcohol， even if you don't think you have a I wasn't a huge fan of the author's vulgar， no-holds-barred voice at first but it grew on me。 She definitely reframed drinking in a way that makes it much less appealing and provided a pretty comprehensive， progressive and intersectional overview of addiction。 I found it a bit strange and cliche that she drops hints about finding God/Jesus in sobriety but never really explains that part of her journey。 I'd recommend this book to any woman who consumes alcohol， even if you don't think you have a problem。 I never identified as a problem drinker but I don't think I'll drink again after reading this。 。。。more
Laura Bartkiewicz
，
If you’re sober curious and want to learn about how to live a fulfilling multifaceted dynamic life by learning more about your authentic self and doing the work - this book is for you。
MEREDITH LOKKINS
，
Interesting perspective on female sobrietyThis book was recommended by a few people I follow on social media。 This book definitely opened my eyes to costs of alcohol on my health （both physically and emotionally）。 The recommendations within this text are not quick fixes， and will require some significant lifestyle changes。 I did appreciate the real life experiences and "no-holds-barred" advice on the difficulties of committing to a sober life。 So， I raise my can of Cran-Raspberry La Croix to thi Interesting perspective on female sobrietyThis book was recommended by a few people I follow on social media。 This book definitely opened my eyes to costs of alcohol on my health （both physically and emotionally）。 The recommendations within this text are not quick fixes， and will require some significant lifestyle changes。 I did appreciate the real life experiences and "no-holds-barred" advice on the difficulties of committing to a sober life。 So， I raise my can of Cran-Raspberry La Croix to this new journey！ 。。。more
Adrienne
，
I loved the audiobook version of this so much， and holly’s voice really resonated with me。 I ended up buying a print copy because there were passages I wanted to underline and reread。 What worked for me: truths about big alcohol， the patriarchy， addict blaming， and social pressures surrounding drinking。 Holly’s personal connections to these issues were honest and compelling。 She made me laugh out loud。 What didn’t work for me: a bit “woo woo” on how one does recovery （yoga， retreats， tea） etc， a I loved the audiobook version of this so much， and holly’s voice really resonated with me。 I ended up buying a print copy because there were passages I wanted to underline and reread。 What worked for me: truths about big alcohol， the patriarchy， addict blaming， and social pressures surrounding drinking。 Holly’s personal connections to these issues were honest and compelling。 She made me laugh out loud。 What didn’t work for me: a bit “woo woo” on how one does recovery （yoga， retreats， tea） etc， and the privilege of Holly’s position （she talks A LOT about her world travels， ability to quit her job to find herself and recover- most people cannot do that）。 Too little focus also on recovering mothers - how can they do any of the practices she suggests when they are already stretched so thin？ Very much written for the single woman。 Regardless， I connected with this so much， and will take from it what I need， just as she suggests。 。。。more
Lizzy Haworth
，
Some interesting themes here， but others are quite odd。
Kelsey Fanelli
，
Recommended by Lauren Kay
Krysten
，
I stopped drinking alcohol over 8 years ago， in December 2012。 At the time， I made the choice because we wanted to get pregnant and after months of fertility challenges， I was willing to do or not to anything that could be hindering my getting pregnant。 Several months later， baby was on the way， and my abstinence continued through pregnancy and breastfeeding her for one year。 When I was able to decide whether I wanted to have a drink again， it was an easy choice not to。 There was absolutely noth I stopped drinking alcohol over 8 years ago， in December 2012。 At the time， I made the choice because we wanted to get pregnant and after months of fertility challenges， I was willing to do or not to anything that could be hindering my getting pregnant。 Several months later， baby was on the way， and my abstinence continued through pregnancy and breastfeeding her for one year。 When I was able to decide whether I wanted to have a drink again， it was an easy choice not to。 There was absolutely nothing I missed about alcohol - least of all the unfortunate decisions， inability to remember important experiences or hangovers。 While I realize this may not be an easy， reasonable or necessary choice for everyone， I think Holly does a fantastic job of explaining why one may consider eliminating alcohol， technically a poison to the human body， from your life。 If you have ever questioned your relationship with alcohol， I strongly suggest reading this book。 Holly does a fantastic job of explaining why alcohol has such a stronghold on us， discussing the fact that you can have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol without being addicted， and providing tactical ideas to start and continue the “stopping” process。 Trust me when I say that not drinking has not impacted my social life， how much I enjoy celebrations， parties， traveling， vacations， holidays， etc。 It may be worth trying it to see what kind of impact it has on your health and well being！ 。。。more
Kathryn Falconi
，
To my friends who follow me on Goodreads， don’t worry I’m not giving up Booze。 I’d seen this author on GMA and was curious what she had to say。 Interesting views in the alcohol industry and it’s genesis but I’m going to go have wine when I go out to dinner tonight！
Lori
，
4。5 stars。 A groundbreaking work by Holly Whitaker， founder of Tempest- which is a female-centric program to assist people who want to quit drinking。 It's part memoir and part self-help as Whitaker talks about her own recovery while also offering tips and resources for readers。 Her personality really comes across strongly in her writing- she's very passionate about her work， zestful， funny， and sincere。 So， the book is quite engaging。 There are only 2 small criticisms I have that prevented me fr 4。5 stars。 A groundbreaking work by Holly Whitaker， founder of Tempest- which is a female-centric program to assist people who want to quit drinking。 It's part memoir and part self-help as Whitaker talks about her own recovery while also offering tips and resources for readers。 Her personality really comes across strongly in her writing- she's very passionate about her work， zestful， funny， and sincere。 So， the book is quite engaging。 There are only 2 small criticisms I have that prevented me from rounding it up to 5 stars: 1。 Many of her suggestions for recovery won't work for people who don't have money。 This was one of the reasons I was critical of the highly acclaimed "Eat， Pray， Love"， as well。 Not everyone can just quit their job to do what they love。 Lots of people have kids and other family who depend on their paychecks。 Massages cost money。 Traveling the world costs money。 Also， not everyone can afford to take time for this level of self-care。 Who will watch the kids， the pets， etc。 while you go for that spa day or off to Rome for 2 weeks？ 2。 Traveling to Rome brings me to my second criticism- which has to do with safety。 In an ideal world， a woman can go where she wants alone with who she wants and not worry about danger。 However， we don't live in that world。 As a feminist， but also a realist， I can't get on board with， "hopping on motorcycles with strange men in foreign countries" or "mov（ing） about freely and fearlessly" on the streets。 This is how many women end up missing or dead。 That aside， I would highly recommend this book to all women。 I am not a heavy drinker， but I really learned a lot and enjoyed the book。 I picked it up because I've noticed in the last 10 years or so that almost every event now includes alcohol- exercise classes， grocery store trips， spa treatments， art classes。 And yes， I have participated in and liked some of these events， but it does seem sad？ odd？- perhaps unsettling。 That， and the increasing reports of alcohol related deaths amongst people in my generation have given me pause。 Kudos to Whitaker for starting this program that offers women an alternative to AA。I highlighted too many quotes in this book to share every one， but here are a few favorites:“Spending a night out drinking is akin to dismantling every piece of protection we have—our cognition， our decision making， our reaction time， our memory， our standards， our voice。 If we thought about alcohol in this way—as something that undermines our collective momentum and personal agency and vitality and self-worth—what would that mean for us？ What if we all rejected the poison—then what？ I’ll tell you what: world domination， bitches。”“Disappoint other people with your no; don’t disappoint yourself with a yes you’ll later resent。”“We love to protect alcohol and our right to consume it， and to vilify people who can’t handle it。 We venerate the substance; we demonize those who get sick from using it。”“The reason you are turning to a substance to cope is as complicated as you are， and the only way you can get at what is causing you to need to numb out and escape is to look at the things that are driving that discomfort and to start adding solutions there。”“Alcohol is the only drug in the world where， when you stop taking it， you are seen as having a disease。” 。。。more
Danielle Katherine
，
Though I found a few of the "self-help" tips a good idea， overall this book lacked true science and rather provided a vague idea of how alcohol is harmful to the body。 I found the second half of this book pretty enjoyable but overall this book came from a point of privilege and seemed to lack the idea that many people don't have access to the self-help ideas that she offered。 Also， her disparaging remarks toward AA got old， especially by the end。 While yes， she made some valid points about probl Though I found a few of the "self-help" tips a good idea， overall this book lacked true science and rather provided a vague idea of how alcohol is harmful to the body。 I found the second half of this book pretty enjoyable but overall this book came from a point of privilege and seemed to lack the idea that many people don't have access to the self-help ideas that she offered。 Also， her disparaging remarks toward AA got old， especially by the end。 While yes， she made some valid points about problems surrounding AA （very geared toward the cis-white male population）， this is one of the most easily accessible options for many people with little means。 。。。more
Crizzle
，
Even as a non drinker， I am a better person because of this book。 It is eye opening。 Alcohol is a substance marketed to you to keep you from your power。I get that sobriety helped her own her sexuality but spare me the details。 Knocking a full star off for it。 I would want every American adult to read this book if it weren’t for those details。I took copious notes on my phone while reading because it impacted me so much that I didn’t want to forget it。 I will copy and paste all of it here。“Drinkin Even as a non drinker， I am a better person because of this book。 It is eye opening。 Alcohol is a substance marketed to you to keep you from your power。I get that sobriety helped her own her sexuality but spare me the details。 Knocking a full star off for it。 I would want every American adult to read this book if it weren’t for those details。I took copious notes on my phone while reading because it impacted me so much that I didn’t want to forget it。 I will copy and paste all of it here。“Drinking has become so ingrained in the female code， we don’t even recognize the nearly endless ways it’s pierced our every experience， or even stop to think about the cost of that infiltration。” Moms are one of the most targeted demographic by the men who control the boardrooms at Anheuser-Busch （etc） and now this daily drug abuse is normalized in every part of our culture。 Wine has become the “mascot” of being not only a mom， but a young， single professional， or a retired empty nester， “or basically a woman at all。。。 We have been programmed to accessorize our lives with wine and women are the new binge drinkers。 Big Alcohol is lining its pockets from our death and personal destruction， the number one date-rape drug is booze， it’s linked to 2/3 of all reported cases of domestic abuse。 The alcohol industry is absolutely the patriarchy keeping us down。 Why is it so normalized？ Because there are some very powerful people （men） getting very rich by us believing that this is just what we as women do。Big Alcohol has expanded past the female market here in America and is now focusing on women and children in Low- to Middle-Income Countries。 For instance， India historically shunned the consumption of alcohol and has now more than doubled from 2005 to 5。7 liters per capita （in 1961， the per capita alcohol consumption was less than 1 liter）。 Countries in Asia， Africa， and South America are experiencing alcohol addiction never before seen， in places with no recovery programs or rehabilitation。In the early twentieth century， people also believed cigarettes were an antidote to anxiety and not bad for you when taken “in moderation”。 The author believes alcohol will go through what the cigarette went through- “a reversal in public opinion and a rejection of it by mainstream culture， seen as something we used to do。。。 I imagine our grandchildren will one day be shocked by the idea that there was once a point in time when we drank ethanol at almost every occasion and boasted of hangovers and drunken antics， the same way I’m always shocked to see pictures of my aunts and uncles smoking indoors at family parties in the seventies。”Because of a few studies done in the 90s and early ‘00s， this belief that drinking wine is healthy was fueled when we now have many studies countering that belief。 Alcohol is linked to at least seven cancers and an entire host of other chronic conditions but “most of us are more inclined to think drinking moderately is far healthier than not drinking at all。。。。 The thing is， even one glass of wine is disruptive。 The body is constantly seeking homeostasis， or balance， so the moment you ingest any drug， your body begins a counteracting process。” The effect of the drug causes an A process， the body initiates a counteractive B process， which tends to last longer than the A process。 The states of withdrawal and craving from any drug are always exactly opposite to the drug’s effects。 If a drug makes you feel relaxed， withdrawal and craving are experienced as anxiety and tension。 Consuming any amount of Alcohol disrupts nearly every process， system， and organ of the body。 1 。 disrupts sleep。 The body takes 3-4 days to fully remove alcohol from the system， so if we are imbibing a couple times a week， we never fully reap the benefits of sound sleep。2。 Fuels anxiety- it doesn’t manage it， it CAUSES it。 It’s one of the worst drugs for those prone to anxiety and depression。3。 Impedes detoxification- The liver is constantly working to detox your body of harmful compounds in what you breathe， eat， drink， apply to your skin and take as medication。 Since alcohol is one of THE most toxic substances we ingest， our liver and kidneys give it full priority and we’re left with excess toxins。 Those excess toxins will end up stored as body fat， will affect the nervous system （anxiety and depression）， will accelerate aging and disease。4。 Brain functioning， blood sugar balance， hormone functioning， gut health all compromised。The author wants the terms “alcoholic” and “alcoholism” to die。 Alcohol is addictive to EVERYONE but as a culture we use “alcoholic” to make it someone else’s problem。 It is a drug and no ones body is designed to handle it with ease。 We’ve created a separate disease， “alcoholism”， and forced it upon the minority of those willing to admit they can’t control their drinking。 This label keeps us focused on a construct， distracting us from our cultural and individual relationship with alcohol and addiction。 These terms assert that the majority of drinkers drink “normally” when everyone who drinks it to some degree has to exert control over it。 The only way to have 100% control over alcohol is to not drink it at all。 Because it’s the only socially acceptable drug， we’ve come to believe that there are “normal” drinkers and “alcoholics”。 The labels are scary， to the point where people would rather continue ruining their bodies with alcohol than to have this “incurable disease” hanging over you the rest of your life。 The PERSON IS NOT THE PROBLEM！ The DRUG IS THE PROBLEM！！ No other drug gives you a lifetime label and disease once you admit you need/want to stop。 “I’m an alcoholic” keeps a non drinker in the mind-space of something they may not have done for years。 The need for alcohol is perpetuated by the consumption of alcohol。 You were not addicted to cigarettes before you smoked， nor did you have an “incurable disease” before you drank。 People who haven’t drank for years aren’t one drink away from alcoholism - they generally don’t want it at all and like not having to think about it。 “Drink responsibly” sounds like a thoughtful message but it is put out by an organization sponsored by an entire fleet of companies such as Bicardi， Jägermeister， etc。 The lie Big Alcohol and also Alcoholics Anonymous want you to believe is the problem isn’t the drug， the problem is the people who can’t “responsibly” use the drug。 With every other kind of drug use and addiction， we blame the drug to the point of prosecuting those who distribute it。 With alcohol we blame the people， and the alcohol industry gets away as an innocent bystander who also profits。Feminine-centric recovery model vs AA to build a whole and balanced sense of self。 Core beliefs: self-advocacy， self-trust， self-practice Reading through these points was like having a good therapy session， and I found so many nuggets of wisdom for my own personal growth， even as a non drinker: Upholding boundaries （especially with people who are used to you having none）。 Commitment is not the same as discipline。 If we just had more “discipline” we could。。。 （eat healthier/cut up the credit cards/work out， etc）。 Commitment is the opposite of discipline in that it comes from our own will; we commit to things we want to do， not things we’re supposed to become。 It’s more forgiving。 Commitment has intension and doesn’t worry about the result so much as the action and the journey; discipline has one goal in mind and if you mess up you have to pay and atone and go back to zero。Never question the decision。 You’ve already decided what you’re not going to do so you don’t need to question it or exert willpower。 You don’t have to use willpower when you don’t want to do something。 You just don’t do it。 As soon as you question the decision， you have to rely on willpower （a limited resource） to abstain。Most people think some people have willpower and others （like addicts） lack it。 We can hone our skill of impulse control， willpower isn’t a skill; it’s a finite cognitive function known as inhibition。 Meaning only so much is available to us each day and it’s a resource shared with other functions。 Each time you solve a problem， make a decision， memorize a fact， remember something， or try not to do something （like eat the cookie or check your phone）， you drain willpower reserves！ Trying harder doesn’t work when you’ve run down the reserves。 Plan your day so you use your precious resources carefully by creating habits so you aren’t using your decision making and willpower as often！ Habits are made by a cue， a routine， and a reward， then repetition。You and your body seek wholeness and completion of actions and trauma interrupts the process。 Trauma isn’t the disturbing experience but what occurs in our bodies when we aren’t able to process the experience fully。 Trauma is stored in our body as unprocessed， stuck energy。Every person you encounter furthers your growth when you let even the difficult ones be your spiritual teachers。 Recognize yourself in others。 If intolerance arises， dig for compassion。 If I feel invisible or disregarded， I claim my inherent worth。 If I’m made to feel like a fraud， I discover parts of me that aren’t true。 If I’m judged as something I’m not， I practice not caring what others think but what I think of myself。You are allowed to change。 There are no social pacts holding you stagnant。You teach people how to treat you。 Again: creating and upholding boundaries！ “Defense is the first act of war。” When someone verbally attacks me， I can take the bait and waste my precious， limited energy on defending something that doesn’t need defense， or I can meet it with indifference because It’s their problem， not mine。 Don’t act， don’t speak， my true nature can’t be affected。 。。。more
Amy
，
Dnf。 Too much political stuff in a book about stopping drinking。 Without any real application on steps to stop drinking。
SweetPea
，
Did not finish this book - 10% in and several “facts” were incorrect， so I couldn’t trust what was in the book （or rather， I didn’t want to have to continue looking up information to confirm if it was true）。 I had looked forward to learning more about the ways alcohol impacts your body but I have no interest in reading inaccurate information。
Joy Kirkreit
，
I read this in honor of a dear friend that has reached 6 years of sobriety。 Definitely eye-opening and absorbing。 I’ve never been able to “keep up” with friends when drinking socially。 I lack that enzyme （cuz Asian lol） to breakdown alcohol so 1/2 a drink in， I’m kinda done。 I’ve always felt bad about this and felt like I must be missing something when everyone else around me is pounding it in and “having fun。” After reading this， I realize how stupid it is to feel that way。 It also begs the que I read this in honor of a dear friend that has reached 6 years of sobriety。 Definitely eye-opening and absorbing。 I’ve never been able to “keep up” with friends when drinking socially。 I lack that enzyme （cuz Asian lol） to breakdown alcohol so 1/2 a drink in， I’m kinda done。 I’ve always felt bad about this and felt like I must be missing something when everyone else around me is pounding it in and “having fun。” After reading this， I realize how stupid it is to feel that way。 It also begs the question if we really should be drinking any alcohol at all。 I never thought about “drinking responsibly” as a marketing tactic。 I definitely recommend this， even if you don’t have an addiction。 Lots of insight on feminism， history， and rediscovering the self。 。。。more
Ardis
，
Living sober I recommend this book because it made me think about how often I did things without thinking。 Moving through this wonderfully messy and beautiful life requires consciousness and that may mean without alcohol。 I’d buy the book just for the notes and the volume of notes and sources。 And， I’m willing to try sobriety。
QuyAn
，
Don’t wanna say so much about the annoyingly unnecessary and repetitive feminism in this book。 But as an occasional drinker， I found a different perspective to look at alcohol and this book makes me think about not drinking for real。
Emily
，
I read this book for Bad Bitch Book Club， and will preface my review by saying I do not have any experience with substance abuse/addiction， either personally or in my immediate family。As many others have written in their reviews， Whitaker's privileges in the way she was able to get sober （and in general， live her life） come through loud and clear， and it's not a great look。 She throws in some intersectionality with racism in the final chapters， which makes it seem like an afterthought。 She also I read this book for Bad Bitch Book Club， and will preface my review by saying I do not have any experience with substance abuse/addiction， either personally or in my immediate family。As many others have written in their reviews， Whitaker's privileges in the way she was able to get sober （and in general， live her life） come through loud and clear， and it's not a great look。 She throws in some intersectionality with racism in the final chapters， which makes it seem like an afterthought。 She also seems to compare her fight against addiction/alcoholism with the Stonewall riots in her conclusion， which。。。just。。。no。I found some of her language and instructions to be berating instead of an invitation。 In discussions with the BBBC group， I also learned that some of the science she backs her claims with doesn't necessarily hold up。 （e。g。 Anything can be poisonous， including water， if you take a big enough dose。）I do think Whitaker made a very interesting and compelling case for the whys and hows of addiction and recovery。 I was especially intrigued by the concept of why a recovery program （Alcoholics Anonymous） that asks an addict to submit and break themselves down might not be helpful or effective for oppressed identities where society already does that to them regularly。 I also know that AA has been helpful for many people， and Whitaker doesn't leave much room for the option。 Lastly， I firmly believe that a necessary component of surviving anything--including， y'know， life in general--is finding authentic connection to yourself and to others， and I appreciated how much time she took to discuss this and how one might go about it。 。。。more
Sarah Paris
，
I'd probably rate the book a 3， but I didn't think it'd be appropriate for my view to skew the book's rating。 My opinions on a book about recovery aren't as necessary to be heard as someone who read this while actively looking to live sober， and ratings speak louder than these words。 I hope anyone who reads this review will be encouraged to at least try the book out。The first half of the book was a page-turner。 I found the autobiographical parts inspiring， listening to someone who wanted to chan I'd probably rate the book a 3， but I didn't think it'd be appropriate for my view to skew the book's rating。 My opinions on a book about recovery aren't as necessary to be heard as someone who read this while actively looking to live sober， and ratings speak louder than these words。 I hope anyone who reads this review will be encouraged to at least try the book out。The first half of the book was a page-turner。 I found the autobiographical parts inspiring， listening to someone who wanted to change her life and figured out how to do it。 Chapter 6 was hands down my favorite: the perspective of a woman navigating the mainstream recovery scene and realizing it's just as influenced by the patriarchy as every other damn thing in this world was just incredibly interesting。 The second half was much more self-help-like--and understandably so。 But because of that， it relied a bit more on alligning with Holly's philosophy on life and her interest in living sober。I didn't go into this book with the goal of working on sobreity or even being convinced to （though I found it valuable to read it with an open mind about being convinced）。 I came off of an indulgent holiday season followed by a dry January and was intrigued by the subject matter。 It 100% made me challenge my perspective on alcohol and how it's accepted without question as an integral part of socializing for many people。 I'm now more keenly aware of drinking culture on social media， on television， and in my social life。 I hope that moving forward I will approach drinking in a more thoughtful manner。 Make it more of a choice than an "of course。" 。。。more
Bailey
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I will preface this review with the fact that I am not sober and am not trying to become sober。 I did not pick up this book because it is something that I myself am going through， and instead read it because it was suggested to me via a book club。The first half of this book is extremely hard to get through because it reads like a textbook。 While the facts do set the stage for the second half of the book， I kept wanting to put it down and not come back to it。 I did enjoy reading about the backgro I will preface this review with the fact that I am not sober and am not trying to become sober。 I did not pick up this book because it is something that I myself am going through， and instead read it because it was suggested to me via a book club。The first half of this book is extremely hard to get through because it reads like a textbook。 While the facts do set the stage for the second half of the book， I kept wanting to put it down and not come back to it。 I did enjoy reading about the background of AA and how it does not suit everyone because it is the only program for sobriety that I am aware of。I am sure becoming sober is an extremely hard process and one that I do not pretend to know what it feels like to go through。 However， I had a hard time with some of Whitaker's digs on people around her。 One in particular is when she mentions that someone she knows wrote her a note saying， "You seem to be in pain， your family seems to be in pain， maybe you should work the Twelve Steps， my father did that， it helped my family。" Whitaker then dives into how this person had no right to tell her what was best for her because she didn't know Whitaker's situation。 I keep coming back to this section because the note sounds like someone who is trying to help and wants to offer a suggestion of something that helped someone she loves。 I was shocked at how stern Whitaker was in response to the note。 I do agree with how terrible many other comments to her were during her road to sobriety but there were a few that I thought seemed drastic and closed minded。Whitaker also comes from a very privileged standpoint where she suggest yoga， meditation， etc。 which not everyone has access to。 She also quit her job at one point which is not possible for many others trying to get sober。 I think I might appreciate this book more in a different stage of life later down the road。 My viewpoint could very well change if I myself or one of my loved ones decide to take the journey to sobriety。 This book is not one that I would recommend that everyone will enjoy and get something out of。 。。。more
Magda-Marie Swart
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Very feminist but she has a point。。。
Jessica
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This book is centered around not drinking alcohol， but there is a lot here that can be directly applied to anyone who wants to grow as a person and do less of [insert unhealthy habit here]。
Sophia
，
4。5 rounded up。 I went into this with an open mind but unsure of whether it would provide any useful insight for my life。 Very happy to be proven wrong！ I found this to be very well written and well organized （hard to find with this genre， imo）， with thoughtful personal stories and guidance for how someone might take charge of their life in a general way， not just as it relates to alcohol。 Highly recommend for anyone feeling like they need a confidence boost， more serenity and thoughtfulness in 4。5 rounded up。 I went into this with an open mind but unsure of whether it would provide any useful insight for my life。 Very happy to be proven wrong！ I found this to be very well written and well organized （hard to find with this genre， imo）， with thoughtful personal stories and guidance for how someone might take charge of their life in a general way， not just as it relates to alcohol。 Highly recommend for anyone feeling like they need a confidence boost， more serenity and thoughtfulness in their day-to-day life， and/or strategies for making your ideal lifestyle a reality。 。。。more
Johnna
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I really loved this book and the work it does for so many。 I think the author has done an amazing job tackling such a complex， sensitive and deep rooted issue by acknowledging all the systemic causes。 Despite being a person who drinks on rare occasion， I found myself being able to relate to the content and discussion of addiction in many facets。 Anyone who has a vice they use to numb their feelings can relate the to content of this book， especially women。 However， and this is why I docked a poin I really loved this book and the work it does for so many。 I think the author has done an amazing job tackling such a complex， sensitive and deep rooted issue by acknowledging all the systemic causes。 Despite being a person who drinks on rare occasion， I found myself being able to relate to the content and discussion of addiction in many facets。 Anyone who has a vice they use to numb their feelings can relate the to content of this book， especially women。 However， and this is why I docked a point， for such an important subject I found it irresponsible to tie in strong political views。 As someone who aligns with the author on these views， I was still off put by her inclusion of such a personal and divisive conversation。 I wish she was able to separate the two into chapters which could be passed over。 I felt this choice worked against the accessibility and inclusionary vows she gave at the beginning。 Overall a great book that breaches the issue of alcohol dependency and it’s role in American society。 Anyone who drinks should definitely read this book， as it does a great job reframing our relationship with alcohol （even if you don’t have a dependency）。 A long needed conversation that I hope will have ripple effect on substance abuse programming like AA and rehab。 。。。more
Quinn Doyle
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one of those books everyone should read， even if you don’t think you should
Lauren Read Rover
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