Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions Into Adulthood
- Downloads：8468
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2021-09-07 06:54:56
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Lisa Damour
- ISBN：0553393073
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER - An award-winning guide to the sometimes erratic and confusing behavior of teenage girls that explains what's going on， prepares parents for what's to come， and lets them know when it's time to worry。
Look for Under Pressure， the companion guide to coping with stress and anxiety among girls， available now。
In this sane， highly engaging， and informed guide for parents of daughters， Dr。 Damour draws on decades of experience and the latest research to reveal the seven distinct--and absolutely normal--developmental transitions that turn girls into grown-ups， including Parting with Childhood， Contending with Adult Authority， Entering the Romantic World， and Caring for Herself。 Providing realistic scenarios and welcome advice on how to engage daughters in smart， constructive ways， Untangled gives parents a broad framework for understanding their daughters while addressing their most common questions， including
- My thirteen-year-old rolls her eyes when I try to talk to her， and only does it more when I get angry with her about it。 How should I respond？
- Do I tell my teen daughter that I'm checking her phone？
- My daughter suffers from test anxiety。 What can I do to help her？
- Where's the line between healthy eating and having an eating disorder？
- My teenage daughter wants to know why I'm against pot when it's legal in some states。 What should I say？
- My daughter's friend is cutting herself。 Do I call the girl's mother to let her know？
Perhaps most important， Untangled helps mothers and fathers understand， connect， and grow with their daughters。 When parents know what makes their daughter tick， they can embrace and enjoy the challenge of raising a healthy， happy young woman。
BOOKS FOR A BETTER LIFE AWARD WINNER
"Finally， there's some good news for puzzled parents of adolescent girls， and psychologist Lisa Damour is the bearer of that happy news。 [Untangled] is the most down-to-earth， readable parenting book I've come across in a long time。"--The Washington Post
"Anna Freud wrote in 1958， 'There are few situations in life which are more difficult to cope with than an adolescent son or daughter during the attempt to liberate themselves。' In the intervening decades， the transition doesn't appear to have gotten any easier which makes Untangled such a welcome new resource。"--The Boston Globe
Look for Under Pressure， the companion guide to coping with stress and anxiety among girls， available now。
In this sane， highly engaging， and informed guide for parents of daughters， Dr。 Damour draws on decades of experience and the latest research to reveal the seven distinct--and absolutely normal--developmental transitions that turn girls into grown-ups， including Parting with Childhood， Contending with Adult Authority， Entering the Romantic World， and Caring for Herself。 Providing realistic scenarios and welcome advice on how to engage daughters in smart， constructive ways， Untangled gives parents a broad framework for understanding their daughters while addressing their most common questions， including
- My thirteen-year-old rolls her eyes when I try to talk to her， and only does it more when I get angry with her about it。 How should I respond？
- Do I tell my teen daughter that I'm checking her phone？
- My daughter suffers from test anxiety。 What can I do to help her？
- Where's the line between healthy eating and having an eating disorder？
- My teenage daughter wants to know why I'm against pot when it's legal in some states。 What should I say？
- My daughter's friend is cutting herself。 Do I call the girl's mother to let her know？
Perhaps most important， Untangled helps mothers and fathers understand， connect， and grow with their daughters。 When parents know what makes their daughter tick， they can embrace and enjoy the challenge of raising a healthy， happy young woman。
BOOKS FOR A BETTER LIFE AWARD WINNER
"Finally， there's some good news for puzzled parents of adolescent girls， and psychologist Lisa Damour is the bearer of that happy news。 [Untangled] is the most down-to-earth， readable parenting book I've come across in a long time。"--The Washington Post
"Anna Freud wrote in 1958， 'There are few situations in life which are more difficult to cope with than an adolescent son or daughter during the attempt to liberate themselves。' In the intervening decades， the transition doesn't appear to have gotten any easier which makes Untangled such a welcome new resource。"--The Boston Globe
Reviews
Heidi
，
As the mom to 4 girls this was a must read。 And I’m sure I’ll read it again。 It was so validating and reassuring to hear that a lot of the experiences I am having with my daughters are very normal and natural。 It makes the hard times more doable。
Baloyi Arno
，
I want to read
Jaclyn
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4。5 stars A validating read with a lot of good information。 I recommend to all parents of daughters。 You might not agree with everything but there is too much good info to pass on the book。
Rebecca
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VERY helpful for anyone raising a female person， or really anyone who wants to understand what kids need。
Lisa Hansen
，
I got so much out of this book！ I highly recommend for anyone with a preteen or teenage girl。
Carrie Cappiello
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Can I state the obvious？ Raising kids is hard。 But raising girls？ Hard doesn’t begin to describe it。 My good friend @@@ has a daughter similar in age to my daughter and recommended this book。 I listened to it but wish I had a hard copy to underline all the bits of wisdom。 I’m terrified of doing something to jeopardize my relationship with my daughter。 And because of that fear， I screw up all the time。 We are opposites - I want to be the center of attention and she wants to hide in the corner and Can I state the obvious？ Raising kids is hard。 But raising girls？ Hard doesn’t begin to describe it。 My good friend @@@ has a daughter similar in age to my daughter and recommended this book。 I listened to it but wish I had a hard copy to underline all the bits of wisdom。 I’m terrified of doing something to jeopardize my relationship with my daughter。 And because of that fear， I screw up all the time。 We are opposites - I want to be the center of attention and she wants to hide in the corner and observe。 It’s hard to find middle ground sometimes。 What I learned from this book: settle down。 Shut up。 Listen to her。 Ultimately， I realized we’ve raised her with our values。 Our job now is to guide， observe， and communicate when she struggles with making the right decisions。 。。。more
paris
，
Liz Damour- 😍🥰her podcast and Instagram and fb live events too！
Rebecca
，
Great info and ideas
Christina
，
I will re-read and reference this book。 Much applies to boys as well， but I love that it focuses on girls。 The audiobook is very easy to absorb， but I bought the hard copy for future reference。My random notes:“Polite” better than “Respectful。” I can be polite to people who don’t have my respect…“You may not like my questions， but you need to find a polite way of responding。” I need to model the same decency。 Teenagers know when they’re misbehaving & feel uncomfortable when they get away with it。 I will re-read and reference this book。 Much applies to boys as well， but I love that it focuses on girls。 The audiobook is very easy to absorb， but I bought the hard copy for future reference。My random notes:“Polite” better than “Respectful。” I can be polite to people who don’t have my respect…“You may not like my questions， but you need to find a polite way of responding。” I need to model the same decency。 Teenagers know when they’re misbehaving & feel uncomfortable when they get away with it。 When your child is being rude， find a way to call her on it。 You can make your optional good deeds contingent on her decent treatment of you。 If daily interactions are consistently unpleasant， why should she expect you to take her to the mall on a moment’s notice？ NOT emotional blackmail。 It’s how the world works。 People don’t do nice things for people who are mean to them。 Better to learn this now than in the world。 She asks for a favor after a stretch of being treated like a meddling chauffeur， invite her to address the difficulty she created。 “i love you & want to help you whenever I can， but you’ve been snarky for days & I don’t want to give you the impression that you can treat people poorly & then expect them to go out of their way for you。 Got an suggestions for how we can make this right？” OR “ no way sister， not with how you’ve been acting。 Warm it up several degrees & try again later。”Swimming pool metaphor: teen swims until they hit a rough patch， at which point they come to the edge of the pool （you） for stability。 Respecting privacy & their boundaries is key。 If they open the door a bit， talk through it， don’t barge。 （Literally & metaphorically。） 。。。more
Laura Reden
，
Enlightening！ I really resonated with the stories in this book， and recommend it to anyone with a daughter。
Jessica Ruetschlin
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Practical advice; recommended by my daughter’s therapist
Susan
，
Excellent。 I’ll read this many times over the next few years as I navigate tweendom and teenage land （i need all the help i can get！）。 If you have a daughter， do yourself a favor and read this （or listen to it）。
Angie
，
Insightful and full of helpful tips， this book encourages parents of adolescent girls to embrace this time of life while advising them as to tricky areas that may be cause for friction。 The book leaves one wiser but not fearful。
Cara
，
Marvelously insightful and helpful。
Gretchen
，
Great foundation of information， a delightful read。
Erin McIntosh
，
If there is one book you should read as a parent， it’s this one。 Damour writes with authority/authenticity as both a professional and a parent。 There is so much wisdom。 I found myself highlighting and annotating something on almost every page。
Kimberly
，
Explains the strands of development that a girl goes through in adolescence from leaving childhood to caring for herself independently。
Wendy
，
This should be required reading for parents of all pre-teen girls。
Christie
，
Perfect book to help me understand my daughter。 It showed me how to see her as person on a path and how to guide her along it。
Brian J Koenen
，
So valuable for parents of teens！！
Mathew
，
A good book for parents of teenagers。The author does a good job of touching on the most common and important issues facing teenagers。 She also gives advice on how to， and when to have these conversations。Even having read many of these books， I found a number of sections that had me taking notes for future conversations with my kids。I would recommend for any parent looking for insight or more tools。
Amanda
，
Finally finished！ So good and helpful。 I’ll probably reread sections in the coming years。
Prudent Mama
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As I read through Lisa Damour's presentation of the 7 stages that mark the transition from girlhood into womanhood I realized a couple of things， ONE- a deeper understanding of my own path to adulthoodTWO- Parenting doesn't have to be a hard as we （in the United States） make it out to be。It especially put into perspective the role of verbal sparring in the teens development of autonomy。 I recommend it to adults with influence of tweens， teens， and young adults。 It'll join the works of Julie Lyth As I read through Lisa Damour's presentation of the 7 stages that mark the transition from girlhood into womanhood I realized a couple of things， ONE- a deeper understanding of my own path to adulthoodTWO- Parenting doesn't have to be a hard as we （in the United States） make it out to be。It especially put into perspective the role of verbal sparring in the teens development of autonomy。 I recommend it to adults with influence of tweens， teens， and young adults。 It'll join the works of Julie Lythcott-Haims and Wendy Mogel in my parenting reference book collection。 。。。more
Megan Sybrant
，
I thought this book was a fantastic & interesting point on how to raise teenage girls。 I don’t have a teenager yet， but i work in youth ministry where many parents face A LOT of the transitions and challenges that come with raising a teenage girl。 It’s not from a religious perspective at all， so there were parts of it i would have differed on， just given my own faith preferences。 BUT she gives great explanation as to WHY girls need these 7 transitions into adulthood & how to appropriately guide I thought this book was a fantastic & interesting point on how to raise teenage girls。 I don’t have a teenager yet， but i work in youth ministry where many parents face A LOT of the transitions and challenges that come with raising a teenage girl。 It’s not from a religious perspective at all， so there were parts of it i would have differed on， just given my own faith preferences。 BUT she gives great explanation as to WHY girls need these 7 transitions into adulthood & how to appropriately guide them through that。 。。。more
Shawn
，
Amazing book and a MUST READ。 By far the most accurate and helpful book I've read about teenage girls。 I say this from the point where I have been through a lot of this and I wish I had read this book when my now 16 year old daughter was much younger。 I would have been better prepared to help her through the struggles of being a teenage girl。 Also there is still a ton of information that will help moving forward！ I'll be recommending this to everybody I know with a daughter！！ Amazing book and a MUST READ。 By far the most accurate and helpful book I've read about teenage girls。 I say this from the point where I have been through a lot of this and I wish I had read this book when my now 16 year old daughter was much younger。 I would have been better prepared to help her through the struggles of being a teenage girl。 Also there is still a ton of information that will help moving forward！ I'll be recommending this to everybody I know with a daughter！！ 。。。more
Kim
，
A few outdated references， but mostly good information。 Audio is not the way to go with this one if you want to actually use the info。 I would want to be able to turn to specific parts of the book to remind me of a specific issue that I might need to look up。 Most of the book would likely apply just as much to boys as girls。
Christina Bignall
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Great for all parents of girls
Cara
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So helpful to me as a mom of an almost teenage girl。 The author also writes for the NYT and her columns are always useful。 If you read this， I recommend taking notes。 There were many times when reading this I thought， oh， good one， and wished I had written it down somewhere。
Carrie
，
Excellent guide for parents of teenaged daughters
Carrie
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