The Road Less Traveled: New Phychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth
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- Create Date：2021-09-02 05:52:52
- Update Date：2025-09-06
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- Author：M. Scott Peck
- ISBN：068485015X
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Summary
Hailed by the Washington Post as "a spontaneous act of generosity，" The Road Less Traveled has already given more than two million grateful readers an inspirational framework for achieving profound personal growth and satisfaction。 Now Dr。 Peck， a practicing psychiatrist， reads from his extraordinary work in the first of a series of audio programs drawn from the book。 Dr。 Peck's crucial premise---that life is hard---is challenging for even the strongest among us， but his art lies in his ability to lead us to accept， and ultimately transcend， this idea。 The key is discipline， and with Dr。 Peck's assistance， you will learn to master the four principles of discipline needed for every healthy， life-affirming act: Delaying Gratification Accepting Responsibility Dedication to Reality Balancing The Road Less Traveled is a landmark。 Never before have psychological and spiritual guidance come together so powerfully。 It's not the easiest road---but it is the only one worth taking。 Let Dr。 Peck's remarkable achievement help you find your way as you journey today， and every day of your life。
Reviews
Ioannis Charalampopoulos
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Αξίζει τη φήμη που έχει ως ένα από τα σημαντικότερα βιβλία προσωπικής ανάπτυξης。 Στο τέλος όμως， το μέρος που αφορά στη θεία χάρη， το βιβλίο ξεφουσκώνει αφού μιλάει όχι πια για την ψυχοθεραπευτική εμπειρία ή την παρατήρηση του θεραπευτή αλλά για τις απόψεις ενός πιστού。 Όπως και να έχει， αξίζει απολύτως το χρόνο μας。
Farsa Hashmi
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It's not just a book。 It's a book for spiritual growth and I've learned so many things from this book， I can't even count and currently my best friend is reading this book and she loves it and the fact that she hates book。 It's not just a book。 It's a book for spiritual growth and I've learned so many things from this book， I can't even count and currently my best friend is reading this book and she loves it and the fact that she hates book。 。。。more
Mehtap exotiquetv
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Der Beginn dieses Buches war vielversprechend mit tiefen Einsichten eines Psychotherapeuten in die menschliche Psyche。 Im Kapitel „Discipline“ schreibt er viel über den Charakter eines Menschen und wie dies durch Erfahrungen geprägt werden。 Im Kapitel „Love“ geht er in problematische Beziehungen ein und was zwischenmenschliche Liebesbeziehungen problematisch gestalten。Bis dahin war alles schön und gut und dann nahm die Qualität des Buches so rasant ab。 Gerade im Bereich „Religion and Science“。 S Der Beginn dieses Buches war vielversprechend mit tiefen Einsichten eines Psychotherapeuten in die menschliche Psyche。 Im Kapitel „Discipline“ schreibt er viel über den Charakter eines Menschen und wie dies durch Erfahrungen geprägt werden。 Im Kapitel „Love“ geht er in problematische Beziehungen ein und was zwischenmenschliche Liebesbeziehungen problematisch gestalten。Bis dahin war alles schön und gut und dann nahm die Qualität des Buches so rasant ab。 Gerade im Bereich „Religion and Science“。 Sehr fragwürdig。 Überhaupt Wissenschaft einer Religion gleichzustellen。Was ich verstanden habe ist， dass es wichtig ist während einer Psychotherapie darauf zu achten， woran jemand glaubt weil das bei der Lösung des menschlichen Konflikts helfen kann。 Und dann fing der Autor aber an seine persönlichen Glaubensapelle an den Leser weiterzugeben und da hat er mich endgültig verloren。 Musste sogar Unterkapitel skippen weil das sogar für mich zu absurd wurde。 Ich kann nur empfehlen die ersten zwei Kapitel zu lesen。 Und den Rest gekonnt zu ignorieren weil das dann wirklich wenig mit Psychotherapie zu tun hatte。 。。。more
Socrate
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Viaţa e dificilă。 Acesta este un mare adevăr， unul dintre cele mai mari adevăruri。 Este un mare adevăr， pentru că， odată ce ne dăm seama de el， îl transcendem。 Odată ce ştim cu adevărat că viaţa e dificilă — odată ce cu adevărat am înţeles şi am acceptat acest fapt — viaţa nu mai e dificilă。 Pentru că odată acceptat， faptul că viaţa e dificilă nu mai contează。Multă lume nu vede pe de-a-ntregul adevărul faptului că viaţa e dificilă。 în schimb， oamenii se plîng mai mult sau mai puţin zgomotos sau Viaţa e dificilă。 Acesta este un mare adevăr， unul dintre cele mai mari adevăruri。 Este un mare adevăr， pentru că， odată ce ne dăm seama de el， îl transcendem。 Odată ce ştim cu adevărat că viaţa e dificilă — odată ce cu adevărat am înţeles şi am acceptat acest fapt — viaţa nu mai e dificilă。 Pentru că odată acceptat， faptul că viaţa e dificilă nu mai contează。Multă lume nu vede pe de-a-ntregul adevărul faptului că viaţa e dificilă。 în schimb， oamenii se plîng mai mult sau mai puţin zgomotos sau subtil de enormitatea problemelor lor， a greutăţilor şidificultăţilor lor， de parcă viaţa ar fi în general uşoară sau ar trebui să fie uşoară。 Ei îşi exprimăzgomotos sau subtil convingerea că dificultăţile lor reprezintă un tip unic de năpastă， care n-ar trebui să existe şi că ele au căzut anume pe capul lor， al familiei lor， al tribului， clasei， naţiunii， rasei lor sau chiar al speciei şi nu pe al altora。 Cunosc bine acest fel de a te văita， pentru că şi eu i-am plătit tributul。 Viaţa înseamnă o serie de probleme。 Vrem să suspinăm din cauza lor sau vrem să le rezolvăm？ Vrem să-i învăţăm şi pe copiii noştri să le rezolve？ Disciplina reprezintă setul fundamental de instrumente cerut pentru a soluţiona problema vieţii。 Fără disciplină nu putem soluţiona nimic。 Printr-o disciplină parţială putem rezolva doar unele probleme。 Cu o disciplină totală putem soluţiona toate problemele。 。。。more
Chava
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This book is a gift of love。 While at times the language conveys the author’s strong conviction about potentially controversial opinions， there is no denying that this book inspires you to think about what love， evil， and grace mean to you， what fears you are running away from， where you can apply more discipline to your life， etc。 I found parts of myself in the stories that the author shared， and all this madness of being alive makes a lot more sense。 The last part of the book reads like a reli This book is a gift of love。 While at times the language conveys the author’s strong conviction about potentially controversial opinions， there is no denying that this book inspires you to think about what love， evil， and grace mean to you， what fears you are running away from， where you can apply more discipline to your life， etc。 I found parts of myself in the stories that the author shared， and all this madness of being alive makes a lot more sense。 The last part of the book reads like a religious epiphany; it was a pleasure to learn of brave new ideas for the first time。 The undertone of hope is empowering， as the author elucidates the freedom of choice that we will have at every moment for the rest of our lives to take or to continue taking the road less traveled towards spiritual growth。 。。。more
Joy Liabres
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Discipline， love， grace- not so much
Renata Kumala
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This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 A must read！ Talks about how all mental issues are based on our lack of discipline to overcome laziness and lack of courage to overcome fear。 It gives a lot of cases on how our unconscious might know us more and know what we should do more than our conscious。 Thus a lot of the cases we don’t know why we have certain thoughts or dreams。 Then it went very spiritual in the end。 In concluding God is the Alpha and the Omega。 God -> grace -> unconscious -> conscious -> will to love -> love can either A must read！ Talks about how all mental issues are based on our lack of discipline to overcome laziness and lack of courage to overcome fear。 It gives a lot of cases on how our unconscious might know us more and know what we should do more than our conscious。 Thus a lot of the cases we don’t know why we have certain thoughts or dreams。 Then it went very spiritual in the end。 In concluding God is the Alpha and the Omega。 God -> grace -> unconscious -> conscious -> will to love -> love can either be effort / courage in form of self discipline -> spiritual goal -> God’s agent Then should we give up until grace come to us？ No。 We should be open， welcoming。 Prepare ourselves for grace to come by。 Ps。 Discipline also include improving our reality map 🗺 to be closer to reality。 If we don’t have growth mindset and not willing to improve our map， then we will be delusional thus mental illness usually surfaces。 。。。more
Natasha
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Some really good points。 Some fuzzy eye brow raising bits。 Short read。
Karina
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I had this book in my collection for over 6 years but it wasn't until now that I finally got around to finishing it。 I felt called to read it and I am so glad I did。 I found it incredibly progressive considering the time period it was written， which was a nice surprise。 It made me look introspectively and really think about the person I am and the person I would like to become。 I particularly enjoyed the section about love， it made me value the platonic love I have in my relationships and shifte I had this book in my collection for over 6 years but it wasn't until now that I finally got around to finishing it。 I felt called to read it and I am so glad I did。 I found it incredibly progressive considering the time period it was written， which was a nice surprise。 It made me look introspectively and really think about the person I am and the person I would like to become。 I particularly enjoyed the section about love， it made me value the platonic love I have in my relationships and shifted my viewpoint on romantic love。 Lastly， I found the spirituality/grace section very interesting。 Although I wouldn't consider myself a very spiritual person it made me pause and reflect on the many miracles I have experienced。 Overall I really enjoyed this book and look forward to rereading it this time I'll definitely take some notes！ 。。。more
Diane Fordham
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I had been looking forward for sometime to reading this book。 However， I found it very wordy， difficult to follow， and very dated。 Which should be no surprise as it was written more than 40 years ago。 I am afraid that this one had joined the ranks of the few books that I have not completed。 I apologise to those who have nothing but good to say about it， but it was not for me。 I have given 3 stars out of respect for its good standing。
Vasundhra
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I bought this book on recommendation from an ex-colleague a few years ago， however couldn’t read more than a few chapters ！！ And in my attempt last year to finish all the unread books on my bookshelf I picked this one again。。 Wonderful insight on the Life and the art of living。 The way it touches upon the psychological aspect of Love and Grace is extraordinary， makes us ponder on our perspective of our own emotions。 P。s。 I skipped the section on the Religion。
Alex Mathew
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A great book， which allows you to look into yourself。
Saffron Tan
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It started with pretty good and the another half of the book kind of ruin everything。 I really wish the author could ends it before the religions stuff got cranky with all the spiritual， evil and god， they got nothing to do with psychology in the first place。 I don't see that necessary at all。 I would rather re-read the "Counselling for Toads" instead。 It started with pretty good and the another half of the book kind of ruin everything。 I really wish the author could ends it before the religions stuff got cranky with all the spiritual， evil and god， they got nothing to do with psychology in the first place。 I don't see that necessary at all。 I would rather re-read the "Counselling for Toads" instead。 。。。more
Ryan
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Despite a few moments when Peck delves a little too deeply into pop-psychobabble， this is overall an excellent read for those needing to introspect and evaluate themselves。 There are useful tools here that can help a person untangle some of the long-held knots in their lives。 Recommend。
Ella
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Brilliant。 Just brilliant
ying
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The beginning part was very powerful for me， because it gave me some light over what pain， self-love， and discipline were。The later part wasn't for me。 However， I do recommend people to read this book。 The beginning part was very powerful for me， because it gave me some light over what pain， self-love， and discipline were。The later part wasn't for me。 However， I do recommend people to read this book。 。。。more
Jarmo Slutter
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This book gave me some new concepts on life， learning and love， with insightful thoughts。 I would like to give this book a 4，5。 Because I feel like some things are missing， eventhough he goes very deep。 The first 2 sections are the most practical ones and I liked those the most。 I feel like the 3rd section is a bit useless。
Bhagya
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A wonderful book by Scott Peck。 One of the best novels that will help shape your life in a better way。 The author has shared his own experiences about his interaction with different kinds of people through psychotherapy。 His suggestions in solving the difficulties can enable us to reach a higher level of self-understanding。 Last but not the least， this is a book of love， happiness， self-development， and spirituality。 Worth reading ！！！
Gabriela
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Me cuesta evaluar tan abiertamente este libro， ya que es una lectura de carácter tan personal。Hay muchísimas reflexiones que a mí parecer son acertadas， y en cierta manera me abrieron los ojos a determinadas conductas， pero también hay puntos que no comparto; puntos que sé a ciencia cierta， otras personas valorarían infinitamente。El título es muy acertado， e insinúa a la perfección el contenido。 El Camino Menos Transitado es el camino del desarrollo espiritual， de la conciencia individual y cole Me cuesta evaluar tan abiertamente este libro， ya que es una lectura de carácter tan personal。Hay muchísimas reflexiones que a mí parecer son acertadas， y en cierta manera me abrieron los ojos a determinadas conductas， pero también hay puntos que no comparto; puntos que sé a ciencia cierta， otras personas valorarían infinitamente。El título es muy acertado， e insinúa a la perfección el contenido。 El Camino Menos Transitado es el camino del desarrollo espiritual， de la conciencia individual y colectiva， y en cierta medida del autodescubrimiento。Tuve la suerte （o， usando los conceptos aprendidos de la lectura）， la gracia de tomar este libro en el momento oportuno。Realmente me ayudo muchísimo a encausar mis pensamientos， y tomar decisiones que he venido postergando。Lo recomiendo totalmente。 Aunque no es una lectura ligera， tomarse el tiempo para leer con atención cada una de sus páginas， puede aportar grandes enseñanzas。 。。。more
Tania Aramburo
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Wow！ Wow！ Por ahora no me da la cabeza y el tiempo para decir lo maravilloso que es este libro pero pronto lo actualizo :） wow！！！
Underconsumed Knowledge
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My mother gave me this book which she read routinely while my father was in federal prison when I was a wee lad。 Having already read a ton of 1950’s-1970’s psycho-babble， I was not expecting anything I hadn’t already read。 However， I thoroughly enjoyed this book， which could be viewed more than anything as a work of philosophy， and give it a wholehearted five-star recommendation to anyone。 It is easy to read， accessible， and relevant to our lives today。 Our expectation that life should be easy i My mother gave me this book which she read routinely while my father was in federal prison when I was a wee lad。 Having already read a ton of 1950’s-1970’s psycho-babble， I was not expecting anything I hadn’t already read。 However， I thoroughly enjoyed this book， which could be viewed more than anything as a work of philosophy， and give it a wholehearted five-star recommendation to anyone。 It is easy to read， accessible， and relevant to our lives today。 Our expectation that life should be easy is a smokescreen; life is hard。 The path of spiritual growth and living a good life is even harder。 For this reason， most shirk the effort required， experiencing psychological distress as a result。 These are my top highlights below （4，500 words）; they are mostly self-explanatory， I think。•t“Life is a series of problems。 Do we want to moan about them or solve them？ Do we want to teach our children to solve them？”ot“Problems do not go away。 They must be worked through or else they remain， forever a barrier to the growth and development of the spirit。” Some people are “not amenable to assistance” and until they are， they cannot be helped， such as the alcoholic。ot“When character-disordered individuals blame someone else-a spouse， a child， a friend， a parent， an employer or something else-bad influences， the schools， the government， racism， sexism， society， the "system"-for their problems， these problems persist。 Nothing has been accomplished。 By casting away their responsibility they may feel comfortable with themselves， but they have ceased to solve the problems of living， have ceased to grow spiritually， and have become dead weight for society。 They have cast their pain onto society。” While there are certainly injustices， wronghoods， and terrible things that befall everyone， people have the choice of how to respond; they have one life to live。t“[There are indeed oppressive forces at work within the world。 We have， however， the freedom to choose every step of the way the manner in which we are going to respond to and deal with these forces。”•t“The feeling of being valuable-"I am a valuable person" is essential to mental health and is a cornerstone of self discipline。 It is a direct product of parental love。 Such a conviction must be gained in childhood; it is extremely difficult to acquire it during adulthood。 Conversely， when children have learned through the love of their parents to feel valuable， it is almost impossible for the vicissitudes of adult hood to destroy their spirit。” Learning to solve problems requires the discipline to be able to examine what the problem is in the first place; to “develop well-thought-out and effective solutions。”ot“When these gifts have not been proffered by one's parents， it is possible to acquire them from other sources， but in that case the process of their acquisition is invariably an uphill struggle， often of lifelong duration and often unsuccessful。” People spend their lives “dealing with their position” （Berne）。ot“Passive dependency has its genesis in lack of love。 The inner feeling of emptiness from which passive dependent people suffer is the direct result of their parents’ failure to fulfill their needs for affection， attention and care during their childhood… Children growing up in an atmosphere in which love and care are lacking… enter adulthood with no such sense of inner security。”•tThe author was feeling overwhelmed by all of his work， and was told by a fellow professional that he had a problem; the author became angry， until he realized the other party was right， that it was his own decision to over-burden his own schedule。 “"Scott，" Mac replied， "I want you to listen。 Listen closely and I will say it again。 I agree with you。 You do have a problem。 Specifically， you have a problem with time。 Your time。 Not my time。 It's not my problem。 It's your problem with your time。 You， Scott Peck， have a problem with your time。" Then he realized， “My time was my responsibility。 It was up to me and me alone to decide how I wanted to use and order my time。 If I wanted to invest my time more heavily than my fellow residents in my work， then that was my choice， and the consequences of that choice were my responsibility… these pains were the consequence of a choice that I had made。” When someone goes to another person and says “look at this problem I have，” they are giving the power to the other person to solve the problem for them， outside of， say， bouncing ideas off of someone else。•tPeople cease to be curious about the World as they age。 It becomes too much work。 “The more effort we make to appreciate and perceive reality， the larger and more accurate our maps will be。 But many do not want to make this effort… By the end of middle age most people have given up the effort。 They feel certain that their maps are complete… and they are no longer interested in new information。 It is as if they are tired。 Only a relative and fortunate few continue until the moment of death exploring the mystery of reality， ever enlarging and refining and redefining their understanding of the world and what is true。” “We may denounce the new information as false， dangerous， heretical， the work of the devil。 We may actually crusade against it， and even attempt to manipulate the world so as to make it conform to our view of reality。” “Mental health is an ongoing process of dedication to reality at all costs。” ot“Examination of the world without is never as personally painful as examination of the world within， and it is certainly because of the pain involved in a life of genuine self-examination that the majority steer away from it。”•t“The tendency to avoid challenge is so omnipresent in human beings that it can properly be considered a characteristic of human nature。 But calling it natural does not mean it is essential or beneficial or unchangeable behavior。 It is also natural to defecate in our pants and never brush our teeth… all self-discipline might be defined as teaching ourselves to do the unnatural。 Another characteristic of human nature-perhaps the one that makes us most human-is our capacity to do the unnatural， to transcend and hence transform our own nature。” People very much prefer comfort， as can be seen by the day-to-day activities of most people。 “The healing of the spirit has not been completed until openness to challenge becomes a way of life。”ot“[Some] patients attempt to transform the psychotherapeutic hour into a kind of press conference。 At best they are wasting time in their effort to avoid challenge， and usually they are indulging in a subtle form of lying。” Thus， they are not dedicated to change at all， but only justifications of behavior。t“[P]atients who made slips were not trying to hide themselves from me as much as from themselves… our conscious self-concept almost always diverges to a greater or lesser degree from the reality of the person we actually are。” “A major and essential task in the process of one’s spiritual development is the continuous work of bringing one’s conscious self-concept into progressively greater congruence with reality。” People may feel “Re-born” after this。•t“One of the roots of mental illness is invariably an interlocking system of lies we have been told and lies we have told ourselves。 These roots can be uncovered and exercised only in an atmosphere of utter honesty。”ot“As must everyone， for as we negotiate the curves and corners of our lives， we must continually give up parts of ourselves。 The only alternative to this giving up is not to travel at all on the journey of life。” Some people do not like reality and demand that reality be something other than it is。•tMental health is difficult because it is effortful。 It requires effort to try to do the right thing， it requires effort to have to debate with all of the facts， and if you have a full awareness， it puts on you an effort to carry out what you think is the ‘right thing。’ This is a recurring theme throughout the book。ot“[T]he process of making decisions with total awareness is often infinitely more painful than making decisions with limited or blunted awareness （which is the way most decisions are made and why they are ultimately proved wrong）。”otOf dependent people who just want to be loved， “The notion of effort was not involved in their daydreams; they envisioned only an effortless passive state of receiving care。” The author says to his patients， “’If being loved is your goal， you will fail to achieve it。 The only way to be assured of being loved is to be a person worthy of love。。。’ [P]assive dependent people[’s]… motive in doing things is to cement the attachment of the others to them so as to assure their own care。 And when the possibility of care from another is not directly involved， they do have great difficulty in ‘doing things。’” Through this cementing of rigid role differentiation， people “make marriage more rather than less of a trap。”t“[D]ependency may appear to be love because it is a force that causes people to fiercely attach themselves to one another。 But in actuality it is not love; it is a form of antilove。 It has its genesis in a parental failure to love and it perpetuates the failure。 It seeks to receive rather than to give。 It nourishes infantilism rather than growth。 It works to trap and constrict rather than to liberate。 Ultimately it destroys rather than builds relationships， and it destroys rather than builds people。”ot“Most people are quite correct when they say they do not want to achieve such a lofty goal or work so hard in life。 The majority of patients… will terminate their therapy at some point far short of completely fulfilling their potential… They are content to be ordinary men and women and do not strive to be God。”ot“So original sin does exist; it is our laziness。 It is very real。 It exists in each and every one of us。。。 Some of us may be less lazy than others， but we are all lazy to some extent。 No matter how energetic， ambitious or even wise we may be， if we truly look into ourselves we will find laziness lurking at some level… pushing us down and holding us all back from our spiritual evolution。” We are lazy and so we do not have the dialogue between good and evil which exists in our head， somewhere。 “They fail to consult or listen to the God within them， the knowledge of rightness which inherently resides within the minds of all mankind… It is work to hold these internal debates。 They require time and energy… if we seriously listen… we usually find ourselves being urged to take the more difficult path。” Thus， we are lazy， we take the easy way out， do the wrong thing。t“A major form that laziness takes is fear。” We fear change， that we might lose what we have。 It is hard to update our views of reality。t“[Patients] become overwhelmed by fear of facing the seemingly impossible difficulties of living alone or apparently equally impossible difficulties of working for months and years with their mates toward radically improved relationships。 So they stop treatment…” People want therapy to be the painless， effortless quick fix。t“For to recognize laziness for what it is and acknowledge it in oneself is the beginning of its curtailment。”t“If in our laziness and fear of suffering we massively defend our awareness， then it will come to pass that our understanding of the world will bear little or no relation to reality。 Because our actions are based on our understanding， our behavior will then become unrealistic。”•t“You must forge for yourself an identity before you can give it up。 You must develop an ego before you can lose it。 This may seem incredibly elementary， but I think it is necessary to say it… [Many] want， and believe it is possible， to skip over the discipline， to find an easy short cut to sainthood。 Often they attempt to attain it by simply imitating the superficialities of saints， retiring to the desert or taking up carpentry。 Some even believe that by such imitation they have really become saints and prophets， and are unable to acknowledge that they are still children and face the painful fact that they must start at the beginning and go through the middle。” This the fate of many who buy into an all-encompassing ideology， whether they think they have achieved ‘self-realization’ or are perfect Christians。 Also this illustrates why it is unhelpful to explain to someone point-blank why this or that thing matters relatively little， in the grand scheme of things; people have to go through their own motions and growth。ot“Ego boundaries must be hardened before they can be softened。 An identity must be established before it can be transcended。 One must find one’s self before one can lose it。” Thus， the process of maturation。 People can be on very different points on this path even at the same age in one another’s lives。 “[L]asting enlightenment or true spiritual growth can be achieved only through the persistent exercise of real love。”•tThe author has many thoughts， similar to Maslow， on real love vs。 dependency。 His thoughts on love go back to the idea that people want life to be easy， not difficult; someone can just take care of me。 “Of all the misconceptions about love the most powerful and pervasive is the belief that "falling in love" is love or at least one of the manifestations of love。 It is a potent misconception， because falling in love is subjectively experienced in a very powerful fashion as an experience of love… the experience of falling in love is specifically a sex-linked erotic experience… [furthermore，] the experience of falling in love is invariably temporary。” This butterflies feeling that draws people together is thus， semantically to the author， not “real” love。ot“Perhaps it is a necessary lie in that it ensures the survival of the species by its encouragement and seeming validation of the falling-in-love experience that traps us into marriage。 But as a psychiatrist I weep in my heart almost daily for the ghastly confusion and suffering that this myth fosters。 Millions of people waste vast amounts of energy desperately and futilely attempting to make the reality of their lives conform to the unreality of the myth。” Thus， while evolutionarily adaptive， the author sees the “myth” of romantic love as causing great psychological distress。ot“When you require another individual for your survival， you are a parasite on that individual。 There is no choice， no freedom involved in your relationship。 It is a matter of necessity rather than love。 Love is the free exercise of choice。 Two people love each other only when they are quite capable of living without each other but choose to live with each other。" This requiring leads to grasping dependency。 “I define dependency as the inability to experience wholeness or to function adequately without the certainty that one is being actively cared for by another。” The author acknowledges everyone’s mutual need for one another and our interconnectedness， but dependency hinders people’s normal day-to-day function with their demands。 tHe illustrates how， for many dependent people， having another is all that is required; someone who loses a “lover” in a breakup， is distraught， and then snaps back to normal as soon as there is someone else in the picture。 One patient who had been “seriously depressed” after losing his family said to him， “But I did meet a girl last night down at my bar… I feel like I’m human once more。”•t[W]ealth or power have become for [some] such people ends in themselves rather than means to a spiritual goal。 The only true end of love is spiritual growth or human evolution。” Thus we see how so many shirk the path of spiritual development， in whatever form it manifests， instead chasing riches or power。ot“Thus hobbies may be a means through which we love ourselves。 But if a hobby becomes an end in itself， then it becomes a substitute for rather than a means to self-development。” Witnesseth Strava。 “Sometimes it is precisely because they are substitutes for self-development that hobbies are so popular… This dedicated effort to improve their [hobby’s] skill serves to give them a sense of progress in life and thereby assists them in ignoring the reality that they have actually stopped progressing， having given up the effort to improve themselves as human beings。 If they loved themselves more they would not allow themselves to passionately settle for such a shallow goal and narrow future。”•tOf the martyr （in this context an overbearing father）， “[F]ostering independence was more loving than taking care of people who could otherwise take care of themselves。”ot“If we want to be heard we must speak in a language the listener can understand and on a level at which the listener is capable of operating。” Marxist jargon is not born of love。•t“The need for one’s parents to listen is never outgrown。” Even later in life， we want to share what we are doing with our parents。ot“The job of a parent is to be of use to a child and not to use the child for personal satisfaction。”•t“The process of growing up usually occurs very gradually， with multiple little leaps into the unknown， such as when an eight-year-old boy first takes the risk of riding his bike down to the country store all by himself… if you doubt that these represent real risks， then you cannot remember the anxiety involved。” “Many never take any of these potential enormous leaps， and consequently many do not ever realty grow up at all。 Despite their outward appearances they remain psychologically still very much the children of their parents， living by hand-me-down values， motivated primarily by their parents’ approval and disapproval… never having dared to truly take their destiny into their own hands。”ot“As long as one loves one's children primarily because one is expected to behave in a loving manner toward them， then the parent will be insensitive to the more subtle needs of the children and unable to express love in the more subtle， yet often most important ways。 The highest forms of love are inevitably totally free choices and not acts of conformity。” True love requires a feeling of love， which requires understanding。continued: https://underconsumed。substack。com/p/。。。 。。。more
Houmaira
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I'm rating this on the first few sections I've read。 I didn't bother to read the chapters on mysticism etc。I really liked the case studies。 How people obviously refuse to accept responsibility for their problems and also refuse to find a solution。 The map-making part was just as interesting。 So was the open ended question of what kind of map Hitler was following。 I'm rating this on the first few sections I've read。 I didn't bother to read the chapters on mysticism etc。I really liked the case studies。 How people obviously refuse to accept responsibility for their problems and also refuse to find a solution。 The map-making part was just as interesting。 So was the open ended question of what kind of map Hitler was following。 。。。more
John Mitchell
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So good！！！
Bobo
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Dnf。。。yet。
Mathilde
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The idea of books about spirituality or growth always seemed terribly boring to me。 This year， my vision has changed as I found myself increasingly seeking new thoughts and ideas in books。 The Road Less Traveled has so far been one of the most enlightening books I have read since I began my search for a greater understanding of things。 I'm not going to lie and pretend I understood everything Scott Peck said。 Some things were a bit too abstract sometimes。 But the things I understood stuck with me The idea of books about spirituality or growth always seemed terribly boring to me。 This year， my vision has changed as I found myself increasingly seeking new thoughts and ideas in books。 The Road Less Traveled has so far been one of the most enlightening books I have read since I began my search for a greater understanding of things。 I'm not going to lie and pretend I understood everything Scott Peck said。 Some things were a bit too abstract sometimes。 But the things I understood stuck with me， made me think and wonder how I would apply this new knowledge to my life。 I finished reading the book feeling calm and weirdly more mature （wondering how long that's gonna last， ha！）。 I'm already looking forward to reading it again and uncover new ideas and aspects that had so far eluded me。 。。。more
Ashhad Noor
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An extraordinary book
Caroline W
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Spiritual growth is certainly not a well travelled road。 Sadly。
Emily Melville
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This book enlightened me in so many ways。 I have never taken away so much from a single book and I cannot recommend this read enough。Whilst some of his claims should be taken with a grain of salt， it is undeniable that this book is insightful and beneficial in the field of psychology and the understanding of traditional and modern spiritual growth。 5/5
Kathe Rne
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This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 Μέσα στις γραμμές του βιβλίου， είδα πτυχές από τη ζωή μου και τις ζωές των γύρω μου。 Σου παρέχει τροφή για σκέψη και νέα οπτική αντιμετώπισης της πραγματικότητας。 Θα το χαρακτήριζα "εγχειρίδιο ζωής"。 Μέσα στις γραμμές του βιβλίου， είδα πτυχές από τη ζωή μου και τις ζωές των γύρω μου。 Σου παρέχει τροφή για σκέψη και νέα οπτική αντιμετώπισης της πραγματικότητας。 Θα το χαρακτήριζα "εγχειρίδιο ζωής"。 。。。more
Eden Leeuwen
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