The Courage to be Disliked
- Downloads：4329
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2021-08-15 06:54:49
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Ichiro Kishimi
- ISBN：1760630497
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
- Download
Summary
A single book can change your life。 Already an enormous bestseller in Asia， with more than 3 million copies sold， The Courage to be Disliked demonstrates how to unlock the power within yourself to be the person you truly want to be。 Using the theories of Alfred Adler， one of the three giants of 19th century psychology alongside Freud and Jung， it follows an illuminating conversation between a philosopher and a young man。 The philosopher explains to his pupil how each of us is able to determine our own lives， free of the shackles of past experiences， doubts and the expectations of others。 It's a way of thinking that's deeply liberating， allowing us to develop the courage to change， and to ignore the limitations that we and those around us can place on ourselves。 The result is a book that is both highly accessible and profound in its importance。 Millions have already read and benefited from its wisdom。 Now that The Courage to be Disliked has been published for the first time in English， so can you。
Reviews
M
，
“if i change， the world will change。 no one else will change the world for me”
Helian Green
，
This book change my perspective in life and gave me more courage to do things I never imagine i could possibly do。 I love how it was written and how it can make me want to keep reading eventhough at the start it really was annoying。 You have to be open minded and prepared when going to read this book because it has so much deep contents that can help in a person's life。 It's not something easily grasp。 I kept re-reading it cause i enjoyed the principles of adlerian psychology。 This book change my perspective in life and gave me more courage to do things I never imagine i could possibly do。 I love how it was written and how it can make me want to keep reading eventhough at the start it really was annoying。 You have to be open minded and prepared when going to read this book because it has so much deep contents that can help in a person's life。 It's not something easily grasp。 I kept re-reading it cause i enjoyed the principles of adlerian psychology。 。。。more
Sanjeev als
，
The book is a philosophical discussion and simple and like most philosophical books it is complete initself by following a particular philosophy and selectively using it。
Oliviafine
，
How this great man helped me to bring back my ex lover within 48hours，my lover who broke up with me since last Two year，i love him so much that any time i see him with another girl i will be angry，so one day i was going through the internet when i saw a testimony of a woman how this great man name Dr Ekpoma helped her to get back with her husband， so lucky for me he dropped the contact of the man，so i quickly called the number he did not pick i emailed him after about 4 hours time he called me b How this great man helped me to bring back my ex lover within 48hours，my lover who broke up with me since last Two year，i love him so much that any time i see him with another girl i will be angry，so one day i was going through the internet when i saw a testimony of a woman how this great man name Dr Ekpoma helped her to get back with her husband， so lucky for me he dropped the contact of the man，so i quickly called the number he did not pick i emailed him after about 4 hours time he called me back and he replied my email，i filled the form and he told me everything about me and my lover i was surprise so he told that he need some items to do the prayers for me，which i sent him the money to get and that was the only money he collected from me，within 48hours my lover came back to me pleading to me asking for forgiveness，he now love me， cherish me and he promise that he will never leave me again all thanks to DREkpoma you can also email:drekpoma77temple@gmail。com or add him on Whatsapp +2348139206346 。。。more
Vineeth Nair
，
An average read。 The entire book is written as a conversation between a philosopher and a youth。 Somehow I feel it would have been better had it been written as a monologue。
Delia Ti
，
"Die Welt ist einfach und das Leben ist es auch！"Wirklich schönes Buch， was neue Denkanstöße gibt "Die Welt ist einfach und das Leben ist es auch！"Wirklich schönes Buch， was neue Denkanstöße gibt 。。。more
Rosalinda Lima
，
Conhecer Adler através de um diálogo。 Uma leitura viciante。
Saurabh Kabra
，
Ideas of Adlerian psychology explained in a diaglogue mannaer
Aarti Sreenivas
，
Fantastic book if you're looking for no-nonsense practical philosophy Fantastic book if you're looking for no-nonsense practical philosophy 。。。more
Heather
，
I love the idea of learning more about Adler。 For me， I struggled getting past the dialogue of the 2 characters。 It felt dismissive and I lost interest。
Rosetheline
，
This book is definitely something that needs to be processed。 If you think that this is like some kind of book you've read before - no。 The concepts are hard and rude and while I can accept some， it's hard for me to accept all。 They may first have to sit with me for a while。 This book definitely throws down all the aspects we know about trauma [spoiler: according to the book there are none]。 Overall it's an interesting read， but I can definitely understand why some may hate it。 It pushes you out This book is definitely something that needs to be processed。 If you think that this is like some kind of book you've read before - no。 The concepts are hard and rude and while I can accept some， it's hard for me to accept all。 They may first have to sit with me for a while。 This book definitely throws down all the aspects we know about trauma [spoiler: according to the book there are none]。 Overall it's an interesting read， but I can definitely understand why some may hate it。 It pushes you out of your comfort zone and whether or not you accept or agree with these concepts is left up to you。 。。。more
David Green
，
Didn't always agree with some of the ideas but definitely challenged my thinking。 Didn't always agree with some of the ideas but definitely challenged my thinking。 。。。more
Dya
，
Bagus banget buat yang bingung tentang kehidupan， kayak kalo kalian masih menghawatirkan komentar orang lain itu bisa jadi kalian belum bebas。
Kyra
，
This was recommended to me by a psychologist and I'm sorry to say that it falls short。 I understand that is has helped a lot of people and that's great， but I want to outline the many problems I had with it。 But the good things first: There's a whole chapter about knowing which task are ours and separating tasks accordingly， which made so much sense to me。 It's something I struggle with a lot。 The ideas of community feeling and contribution to others all made sense to me。 The bit about courage a This was recommended to me by a psychologist and I'm sorry to say that it falls short。 I understand that is has helped a lot of people and that's great， but I want to outline the many problems I had with it。 But the good things first: There's a whole chapter about knowing which task are ours and separating tasks accordingly， which made so much sense to me。 It's something I struggle with a lot。 The ideas of community feeling and contribution to others all made sense to me。 The bit about courage and living authenticall in the present was very well put。 The bad stuff:The book is written as a series of socratic dialogues that read like robot interactions。 It's very tedious and not believable。 Also， both voices sound very much alike。 It is repeatedly said that trauma doesn't exist。 That's a claim that has been refuited by science and it's flat out dangerous to say that。 If the intention was to say that trauma doesn't define you， then it was very poorly worded。 I understand the concept of teolology but honestly， it's naive to say that for example a torture victim has no trauma and the reactions they have to the incident are done with a goal in mind， that is something else than just trying to survive with any means they can。 Trauma even changes the brain， so saying that it isn't real is pretty weird。 Same goes with "the past doesn't matter"。The way it was potrayed in the book makes it sound like what happened shouldn't matter and if you react in unhealthy ways， then that's your fault。 You can just decide to be happy and "Boom， cured！" That's just victim blaming。 It reminds me of "The secret" and the law of attraction。 The justification for that is that not all people experience trauma after the same event， but I would argue that it's very likely that most survivors of for example rape， will have some sort of trauma。 And just because a few don't have one， doesn't negate the overall effect。 Also， the part about attention seeking。 As an example， the philosopher says that all "problem behaviour" like for example cutting is just attention seeking。 That is a huge generalisation and is actually harmful。 Usually （with exceptions of course） that is something that is hidden very well。 And it's a means to deal with pain and suffering。 Same goes with drinking， drugs， etc。 It's self soothing。 A lot of drug addicts try to hide it from family because of the shame。 Drug use is usually a lack of connnection and belonging， many studies have proved that。 Then， the philosopher has a bit where he explains that very rich people continue to work because they want to contribute to others。 They apparently become philantropists to be useful to others， to feel that they have meaning。 My friend asked me if this bit was written by Jeff Bezos with the help of Elon Musk and I couldn't agree more。 That is such a superficial， ridiculous example。 I'm not saying that philantropy can't be good but it's for sure a display of power。 Rich people also get to decide which issues they want to focus on， which can create more problems。 The morality of having so much money one can never spend it is also not dicussed。 And the bit about stuttering: People who stutter make it a much bigger problem by being ashamed of the stuttering。 This can be in part right， depending on the circumstances， but the fear of being laughed at usually comes from a place of actual ridicule they have experienced。 People aren't as kind as the philosopher says。 It feels like someone saxing "Just ignore it， it's not real anyway" which fails to show empathy and that is what most people need in that situation。 The book feels like a well meaning utopian solution that totally denies the world we live in。 It's all very well to try and see that we create problems for ourselves when it's about feeling insecure about our height etc。 But the author doesn't even mention problems that resolve about marginalised people， not even women。 There's even one bit where the philosopher talks about a woman that is annoyed that no one helps her clean the dishes。 He suggests that instead of grumbling and being angry， if she was happily cleaning the dishes， the odds of other people helping her would increase。 Excuse me？！ Of course it would help， but the problem isn't that she's angry about it， but the system in which it's acceptable for a husband to lie on the couch and not help， because he's a man。 It feels like this was written by very privileged people that haven't thought a minute about very real power structures and inequalities that are part of the world。 I could go on and on but I'll leave it at that。One thing I want to add is that the authors acknowledge that the philosophy of Adler is not easy to apply。 But the book still portrays it as something "easy" overall and is not very detailed in what this all entails and I have issues with that。 I suppose that is volume two of the book but I won't read that。 。。。more
Hoa Lúa
，
Nhiều góc nhìn mới về tâm lý
Mireia
，
me encantó descubrir la visión adleriana （contrapuesta a la de freud）。 me hace mucho sentido todo lo que he aprendido！！
Ivan Elianto
，
Introduce the reader to Adlerian Psychology in a conversation between two-man with easy to grasp words。This book really blows my mind because it shows me many opposite how to see and think about something， that we usually encountered every day。The man called "Youth" in this book is really related to nowadays teens。 I think all concepts in this book really useful and applicable in everyday life。 Introduce the reader to Adlerian Psychology in a conversation between two-man with easy to grasp words。This book really blows my mind because it shows me many opposite how to see and think about something， that we usually encountered every day。The man called "Youth" in this book is really related to nowadays teens。 I think all concepts in this book really useful and applicable in everyday life。 。。。more
Grace Ha
，
Cái tựa khiến mình tưởng đây là một cuốn sách thường thường thôi， và kiểu trò chuyện với triết gia này mình cũng đã gặp qua rồi。 Nhưng nội dung thật sự rất hay ho khi nó dựa trên 1 trường phái tâm lý học mà mình thấy khá "hạp"。 Cái tựa khiến mình tưởng đây là một cuốn sách thường thường thôi， và kiểu trò chuyện với triết gia này mình cũng đã gặp qua rồi。 Nhưng nội dung thật sự rất hay ho khi nó dựa trên 1 trường phái tâm lý học mà mình thấy khá "hạp"。 。。。more
Caroline
，
The subtitle to the book is How to Free Yourself， change your life and achieve real happiness and this was certainly a very interesting read。 This is non-fiction and is organised into parts and then chapters in the form of dialogue between the Philosopher and 'Youth'。 I found that I tended to read a bit and wanted to have time to think about and consider the points raised。 I certainly would not contemplate reading this all in one go。 The dialogue between the Philosopher and youth is designed to The subtitle to the book is How to Free Yourself， change your life and achieve real happiness and this was certainly a very interesting read。 This is non-fiction and is organised into parts and then chapters in the form of dialogue between the Philosopher and 'Youth'。 I found that I tended to read a bit and wanted to have time to think about and consider the points raised。 I certainly would not contemplate reading this all in one go。 The dialogue between the Philosopher and youth is designed to replicate that between Socrates and Plato。 The youth is angry with the philosopher and dissatisfied with his own life。 He visits the philosopher to debunk the myths of Adlerian Psychology and through this dialogue comes to open up a bit more about why he is so dissatisfied。 The different parts or 'nights' are themed according to the theory being discussed such as 'Discard other people's tasks' and 'All problems are interpersonal ones'。 And this is a very quiet， very thoughtful book。 The Adlerian theories are interesting and as I read a chapter I found myself slowing down， taking time to consider the point being made and hopefully understand them。 I did feel calmer and I found myself choosing not to let certain situations bother me that I would have previously got annoyed about。 When I was discussing the book with my family， I thought that the book felt extremely Japanese in nature。 There is a strong focus on the now and being surrounded with simple beauty。 Many of the messages spoke to me - the part on anger and allowing events to affect me。 Or the idea of vertical vs horizontal relationships blew my mind。 This is a lovely book and we decided to purchase a physical copy and keep it。 I do know I will be revisiting certain parts again。 There is also a follow up to this book The Courage to be Happy。 。。。more
Dawn Kravagna
，
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 A book explaining the psychological theories of Alfred Adler， a contemporary of Freud & Jung。 Very easy to read as is written in dialogue form between a Youth and a Philosopher。 Basically， Freud’s worldview was etiological， meaning psychological issues were an effect following a cause。 Adler’s world view was teleological， meaning that “We are not determined by our experiences， but by the meaning we give them is self-determining。 （Page 13）”Is well-written and gave me a few things to think about。 A book explaining the psychological theories of Alfred Adler， a contemporary of Freud & Jung。 Very easy to read as is written in dialogue form between a Youth and a Philosopher。 Basically， Freud’s worldview was etiological， meaning psychological issues were an effect following a cause。 Adler’s world view was teleological， meaning that “We are not determined by our experiences， but by the meaning we give them is self-determining。 （Page 13）”Is well-written and gave me a few things to think about。 The Youth’s sudden turnabout by the end was not convincing。 And the authors didn’t ultimately convince me to adopt their world view。 Didn’t find it helpful for becoming more self-determined and less people pleasing。 I think the truth is a mix of assigning meaning to life and how the past is framed， or reframed to assign it a more positive spin。What was useful to me is to consider how a lack of courage was hindering me from achieving my best。 And may be useful for people trapped in their past， unable to move forward in a positive direction。But ultimately self worth is assigned to a person by how useful they are to others。 To me， this views people as commodities that help or hinder the community—or corporation。 In my opinion， this type of thinking justifies abortion or euthanasia or genocide against persons who are not considered useful。This prompted me to pick up my copy of “The Search for Significance” and resume reading。 。。。more
Hau Ng
，
Hãy thay đổi cách suy nghĩ trong chính bản thân bạn
Vin
，
Buku ini benar-benar memberikan pandangan baru。 Format penulisannya agak berbeda dari bulu lainnya yaitu ditulis seperti dialog antar filsuf dan pemuda。 Pun， beberapa pertanyaan pemuda tersebut sebenarnya mewakili apa yang selama ini kita tanyakan。 Jadi membaca buku ini seperti diri kita sendiri yang sedang berdiskusi。 Sejujurnya aku lama dalam membaca buku ini karena ada beberapa teori yang baru pernah saya dengar， tapi dengan itu juga bisa menambah wawasan。 Dengan membaca buku ini， saya belaja Buku ini benar-benar memberikan pandangan baru。 Format penulisannya agak berbeda dari bulu lainnya yaitu ditulis seperti dialog antar filsuf dan pemuda。 Pun， beberapa pertanyaan pemuda tersebut sebenarnya mewakili apa yang selama ini kita tanyakan。 Jadi membaca buku ini seperti diri kita sendiri yang sedang berdiskusi。 Sejujurnya aku lama dalam membaca buku ini karena ada beberapa teori yang baru pernah saya dengar， tapi dengan itu juga bisa menambah wawasan。 Dengan membaca buku ini， saya belajar untuk lebih bisa memaknai kehidupan。 Mungkin buku ini cocok untuk orang yang banyak merasa insecure。 Dari buku ini aku belajar untuk hidup sesuai keinginanku， tidak untuk memenuhi ekspektasi orang lain。 。。。more
MJ D Asuncion
，
A conversation between a philosopher and a youth。 They talked about happiness， dancing， Socrates， and a bunch of other stuff。 The book introduced me to Adlerian psychology， and strengthened my curiosity about ancient Greece。
Yasmine
，
Meh。
Alicia
，
Unlike most self-help books this one really engaged me。 I love the way it's set out， the dialogue between the Philosopher and the Youth was incredibly compelling。 I really liked the teachings in it。 I did however think that there was a few questionable lines on self-harm and suicide。 Unlike most self-help books this one really engaged me。 I love the way it's set out， the dialogue between the Philosopher and the Youth was incredibly compelling。 I really liked the teachings in it。 I did however think that there was a few questionable lines on self-harm and suicide。 。。。more
Cherie
，
This is so different from every other self help books。 I love how its conversational， and how its inspires self reflection - are you more of the teenager or the wise philosopher？ Some key takeaways I realise: be authentic and stay rooted in your own beliefs of yourself- because what others believe do not ultimately matter。 Secondly， I like how he say we should focus on horizontal relationship - esp critical in Asia where the culture is traditionally more bureaucratic， with stronger power distanc This is so different from every other self help books。 I love how its conversational， and how its inspires self reflection - are you more of the teenager or the wise philosopher？ Some key takeaways I realise: be authentic and stay rooted in your own beliefs of yourself- because what others believe do not ultimately matter。 Secondly， I like how he say we should focus on horizontal relationship - esp critical in Asia where the culture is traditionally more bureaucratic， with stronger power distance。 It also inverts the idea that things are circumstancial， but more because you create the circumstance to justify your actions/reactions （e。g。 you dont get angry and shout because of an external cause， you get angry because you want to。） This is an empowering message about how much our self-control basically determines our frame of the world。 Be clear of your own tasks - this is true too。 I find that maturing in the world is understanding what tasks you truly want to do， rather than taking on on others' behalf。 Last lesson is that every problem is a relationship problem - and the best way forward is to be self-reliant， live harmoniously with people， who shares the same belief。You need courage to be happy。 You need courage to be free。If one really has a feeling of contribution， one will no longer have any need for recognition from others。 Because one will already have the real awareness that “I am of use to someone，” without needing to go out of one’s way to be acknowledged by others。 If one really has confidence in oneself， one doesn’t feel the need to boast。One needs to think not， What will this person give me？ but rather， What can I give to this person？ That is commitment to the community。What a liberating book。 What a gem of a book。 。。。more
Smriti
，
My foray into Adlerian psychology couldn't have a better introduction。 This book is delightful， conversational， unassuming and not overbearing at all。 It's caught me off guard with some profound observations and some really simple ideas that I'm keen to apply to my own life and conduct as a human。 My foray into Adlerian psychology couldn't have a better introduction。 This book is delightful， conversational， unassuming and not overbearing at all。 It's caught me off guard with some profound observations and some really simple ideas that I'm keen to apply to my own life and conduct as a human。 。。。more
Trevor Stokes
，
Much like Plato and Socrates this book is a dialogue between a philosopher and youth about the psychological school of Alfred Adler。 The book can be a little difficult to read at times because the psychology/philosophy is so unusual and difficult to understand。 When I read this I felt like I was searching for pearls in a field。 There are lots of parts that didn’t really seem to contribute much to my education until there would be a single pearl of knowledge that I’d be able to gain。 The psycholo Much like Plato and Socrates this book is a dialogue between a philosopher and youth about the psychological school of Alfred Adler。 The book can be a little difficult to read at times because the psychology/philosophy is so unusual and difficult to understand。 When I read this I felt like I was searching for pearls in a field。 There are lots of parts that didn’t really seem to contribute much to my education until there would be a single pearl of knowledge that I’d be able to gain。 The psychology is really challenging to understand and I don’t think I quite understand it but essentially instead of living in the past and living for other people and living in a hierarchy we should strive to live in the present ， To be in the service of others and to have horizontal relationships or equality among people。 The author does get into interesting insights into why students would behave badly in a class which is really a way of getting attention and claiming their superiority。 There was useful information for me as a teacher to use in the classroom and to allow my class instead of necessarily Being goal oriented to be process oriented。 。。。more
Thái Đặng
，
Khi biết về nền Triết học Hy Lạp， mình đã nghe về phương pháp học tập cũng như nghiên cứu của thời đó là thông qua những cuộc đối thoại và tranh luận từ đó mổ xẻ vấn đề cần được nghiên cứu。 Nghe đã nhiều nhưng khi đọc cuốn sách， mình mới cảm nhận được rõ ràng hơn sự thú vị của phương thức trao đổi này！ （Huhu， ngày xưa học đỡ tốn tiền sách vở bút viết biết bao。。！）Xuyên suốt cuốn sách là sự đối đáp giữa "Triết gia" và "Chàng thanh niên" về những vấn đề liên quan đến cuộc sống với trọng tâm là Tâm Khi biết về nền Triết học Hy Lạp， mình đã nghe về phương pháp học tập cũng như nghiên cứu của thời đó là thông qua những cuộc đối thoại và tranh luận từ đó mổ xẻ vấn đề cần được nghiên cứu。 Nghe đã nhiều nhưng khi đọc cuốn sách， mình mới cảm nhận được rõ ràng hơn sự thú vị của phương thức trao đổi này！ （Huhu， ngày xưa học đỡ tốn tiền sách vở bút viết biết bao。。！）Xuyên suốt cuốn sách là sự đối đáp giữa "Triết gia" và "Chàng thanh niên" về những vấn đề liên quan đến cuộc sống với trọng tâm là Tâm lý học， mình liên tưởng đến sự đối đáp giữa Quan Âm Bồ Tát và Tôn Ngộ Không， hay đâu đó thấp thoáng hình ảnh của Iron Man trong vai "Chàng thanh niên"。 Và rồi， gần cuối cuốn sách， mình như nhận thấy hình ảnh của bản thân trong vai đó！Với những mệnh đề rất đỗi quen thuộc như "Thế giới thay đổi khi ta thay đổi"， "Điều quan trọng không phải là anh được trao cho cái gì， mà là anh sử dụng cái đó như thế nào"，。。。khiến cuốn sách có phần gần gũi。 Rồi đến những mệnh đề trái ngược với những suy nghĩ hiện tại của bản thân: "bất hạnh là do bản thân mình chọn lấy"， "việc lập kế hoạch cuộc đời là điều không thể"， "cuộc đời nói chung không có ý nghĩa"，。。。khiến mình có phần sững sờ， đầu óc nổ bùm bùm và buộc phải suy nghĩ để rõ hơn！ Chắc hẳn ai đã đọc qua "Chủ nghĩa khắc kỷ" sẽ nhận thấy có những điều tương đồng ở hai cuốn sách！ Và cũng như cuốn "Chủ nghĩa khắc kỷ"， cuốn này mình sẽ đọc lại đôi lần đề có thể hiểu hơn！ :"> 。。。more
Albina G
，