Siblings Without Rivalry: Helping Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too
- Downloads：8581
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2021-07-26 06:56:24
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Adele Faber
- ISBN：1853406309
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Reviews
Lynn
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Probably closer to 4。5 starts。 I can’t give it 5 stars because it’s just a bit dogmatic and unscientific for me。 I think the tools this book contains （just like How to Talk so Kids Listen） seem really common sense and good。 However， it ignores the cultural nuances。 Parenting is largely cultural。 I’m not convinced there is a right way to do it。 This book kind of gives me the feeling that this is the right way and it l’s a miracle。 When I’m actually， all the techniques require a bit of practice。 I Probably closer to 4。5 starts。 I can’t give it 5 stars because it’s just a bit dogmatic and unscientific for me。 I think the tools this book contains （just like How to Talk so Kids Listen） seem really common sense and good。 However， it ignores the cultural nuances。 Parenting is largely cultural。 I’m not convinced there is a right way to do it。 This book kind of gives me the feeling that this is the right way and it l’s a miracle。 When I’m actually， all the techniques require a bit of practice。 It’s very easy to leverage them incorrectly and it’s very possible that you can all these kids and it just doesn’t work for whatever reason。 At the end of the day， parenting takes empathy and patience which is fundamental to this book’s method and many others。 I will say however， I’m astonished by all the adult examples in the book are ones with really strained relationships with their siblings。 Were they just ignoring examples where adult siblings had good relationships？ What about examples where parents did the things this book espouses and got great adult children who get along？ Or parents did all the wrong things and their kids DO get along？ Or parents who did all the right things and their kids still still DONT get along as adults？ But anyway， I still found this book useful and also makes me want to discuss our childhood with my sister。 Maybe she experienced things differently than I did。 。。。more
Rachel Sims
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This is one to keep on my Kindle and reread often。 Such simple tools， but they help so much to stop the bickering and teach relationship skills！ I’ve already changed my approach and it seems to be helping。
Lora Starkings
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Quite a lot of useful advice。 A very quick read for me。
Sally
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I didn’t care for this book。 I picked it up because I had a vague memory of my mom mentioning it many years ago， and I now think I must have misremembered。 While I think there is absolutely value in trying to make your children feel as accepted and understood as possible， if we consider it inappropriate for adults to speak in violent terms towards each other， I don’t think we should expect or permit it in children。 I got the impression that the authors came from the perspective that kids are jus I didn’t care for this book。 I picked it up because I had a vague memory of my mom mentioning it many years ago， and I now think I must have misremembered。 While I think there is absolutely value in trying to make your children feel as accepted and understood as possible， if we consider it inappropriate for adults to speak in violent terms towards each other， I don’t think we should expect or permit it in children。 I got the impression that the authors came from the perspective that kids are just little adults with big feelings。 Discipline for what I would consider abusive speech， and even violent behavior is hardly ever mentioned， in fact， the abusive speech seems to be promoted。 There were a few points about not showing favoritism， not forcing your children into roles， and loving your children “uniquely” vs “the same” that I agree with and have always tried to practice。 The rest of the book felt like it was just descriptions of parents being pleased that their kids wrote letters of nasty insults to each other instead of physically assaulting one another。 I don’t know how this prepares anyone for adulthood and interacting with people who will give you way more cause to “hate” them than a sibling who steals your socks ever would。 Maybe in five years when my kids are teens I’ll look back and understand the author’s perspective， but I doubt it。 。。。more
Shoshanah
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Siblings Without Rivalry is written by the authors of How to Talk so Kids Will Listen。 Also one of the authors is the mother of the author of the more recent How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen。 I’ve read both and enjoyed each and was curious about this one focused more on siblings relationships。If you’re like me and have read the others you’ll find this is in a similar format。 It tells others’ stories from workshops and has comics to illustrate certain points。 Similar topics are included as Siblings Without Rivalry is written by the authors of How to Talk so Kids Will Listen。 Also one of the authors is the mother of the author of the more recent How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen。 I’ve read both and enjoyed each and was curious about this one focused more on siblings relationships。If you’re like me and have read the others you’ll find this is in a similar format。 It tells others’ stories from workshops and has comics to illustrate certain points。 Similar topics are included as well， such as describing situations to show your children you’re listening and understand their point of views and emotions。What made it unique was discussion of praise or roles we put children in。 There’s a bit of a balancing act by praising one child without a sibling feeling like it’s a criticism of them。 There’s also a lot of the parents in the book discussing how much their “role” in the family impacted their childhood and continues to impact their family relationships。While a lot was similar to the other books I’ve read by these authors， I would go back and read them all again if I could go back in time。 It’s good reading this perspective and these parenting ideas again。 It can be easy to fall into a pattern and I like the reminder of small changes I want to continue apply or implement after reading another book on this same topic。4。5/5 。。。more
Shaila
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A few weeks ago， I felt really desperate about my kids’ sibling relationships。 There were serious problems！ I read this book， and was able to immediately apply what I was learning， and I’m already seeing improvement。 I feel that my mediation and approach to conflict is more effective now。 I appreciated the real world anecdotes， the reasonable wisdom， and the reflection on adult sibling relationships。 There were a lot of points I simply had not considered previously。 I bought a copy after I liste A few weeks ago， I felt really desperate about my kids’ sibling relationships。 There were serious problems！ I read this book， and was able to immediately apply what I was learning， and I’m already seeing improvement。 I feel that my mediation and approach to conflict is more effective now。 I appreciated the real world anecdotes， the reasonable wisdom， and the reflection on adult sibling relationships。 There were a lot of points I simply had not considered previously。 I bought a copy after I listened to it， because I need these tips available to me， and I’m hoping my husband will read it too。 。。。more
Lauren Opie
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Easiest five stars。 So good。 So helpful。 Quick read。 Actionable。
Kjersti
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I had very high expectations for this book as it is referenced a lot in respectful parenting circles。 But I didn’t love it。 Pros: Addressed sibling issues from baby to teenager to adult。 Had small comic strips showing examples of differentiate conversations could go。 Cons: Too conversational and autobiographical on the part of the authors。 Most ideas for solutions seemed superficial。 I was hoping for more information on fostering a good relationship between them。 Perhaps with better editing it c I had very high expectations for this book as it is referenced a lot in respectful parenting circles。 But I didn’t love it。 Pros: Addressed sibling issues from baby to teenager to adult。 Had small comic strips showing examples of differentiate conversations could go。 Cons: Too conversational and autobiographical on the part of the authors。 Most ideas for solutions seemed superficial。 I was hoping for more information on fostering a good relationship between them。 Perhaps with better editing it could be a better， more straightforward book。 。。。more
Sidnie
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I knew these authors had gone way back and written other books about reasoning with kids （if that's even possible :） Because I'd read more recent books about positive parenting （and follow all the latest IG accounts） I thought their content wouldn't have aged well。 I could not have been more wrong; they are like the OG's of positive parenting。 Having read said books about parenting， I'll say that my qualms are always about the books not having enough examples。 This book uses a lot of scenarios a I knew these authors had gone way back and written other books about reasoning with kids （if that's even possible :） Because I'd read more recent books about positive parenting （and follow all the latest IG accounts） I thought their content wouldn't have aged well。 I could not have been more wrong; they are like the OG's of positive parenting。 Having read said books about parenting， I'll say that my qualms are always about the books not having enough examples。 This book uses a lot of scenarios and even comics to really help illuminate the execution of their themes， which is super helpful。 Some of the examples are a little dated， but I doubt the heart of sibling battles has changes much since Cain and Abel。 Loved this; will be using these strategies to hopefully start a great relationship with my kids from the start， but it also helped me think a lot about my relationship with my own sibling。 I'll definitely be reading their other books。 。。。more
Elizabeth
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Five stars for content， three stars for style。 Will go back to this multiple times over the years。
Tatiana Le Feuvre
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A must-read on raising siblings。 To read and to read-read regularly as the age evolves。 Good to get initiated to the topic as early as possible， but the core advices from the book will apply when both kids talk well。
Jenn
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I really appreciated the direct ways to reword your responses to help your kids cooperate and problem solve successfully。 Glad I read this now with time to practice！
Caitlin Foisy
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Loved this book， going to buy the hard copy。 So many great tips and tricks， good summary sheets， loved the stories and real life examples。 Was also surprised at how present day sibling issues could be addressed through this book as well！ Highly recommend
Leah Agirlandaboy
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This book is awful and I hate it lol
Heather Deem Poore
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Concise， practical advice。 This book is a good accompaniment to "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen， and How to Listen so Kids Will Talk" Concise， practical advice。 This book is a good accompaniment to "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen， and How to Listen so Kids Will Talk" 。。。more
Liz Kazandzhy
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Like other books by these authors， this was very well-written， relevant， and helpful。 I think any parent who has multiple children ought to read this。 My kids generally get along， but I still found plenty in this book to help me enhance their relationships （both things TO do and things NOT to do）。 Definitely worth the read！
Cindy
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I re-read this after 30 years。 Well-worth it！
Nicole Lefevre
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Love the author。 Great examples and very helpful。
Christine Henneberg
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4。5 stars。 I really enjoyed listening to this book！ The strategies are really helpful for me with my kids， even if they're not a panacea。 I agree with the foundational logic of the approach， which is essentially: Don't get invested in the question of whether or not the kids "get along;" instead use their inevitable disputes as opportunities for teaching them interpersonal skills and conflict resolution。 Just having an approach to fall back on is useful。 The upshot is that I check my instinct （an 4。5 stars。 I really enjoyed listening to this book！ The strategies are really helpful for me with my kids， even if they're not a panacea。 I agree with the foundational logic of the approach， which is essentially: Don't get invested in the question of whether or not the kids "get along;" instead use their inevitable disputes as opportunities for teaching them interpersonal skills and conflict resolution。 Just having an approach to fall back on is useful。 The upshot is that I check my instinct （and my husband's instinct） to get involved right away， and instead try to err on the side of stepping back。 （"You guys work it out。" "Don't tell me why you're angry; tell him。" etc。） 。。。more
Chrissy
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I really appreciate this books’ practicality-I feel like I can start applying these concepts today。 Reflecting feelings， not intervening all the time， and intervening or directing when I need to in ways that could be effective。 This book gives me hope that efforts will actually get me somewhere！
Rachel
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This book was fantastic and really I expected so since I've loved all of Faber and Mazlich's （as well as Faber's daughter's！） books。 No， I'm not pregnant， but I like to be prepared and nevertheless， whether my daughter has a sibling， these tools are useful for relating with friends and "enemies"。。。 as well as for the overseeing adult （me）。 I'm grateful for the tools and resources。 Basically， it's all about communication - validating emotions and feelings and figuring out a strategy and then comi This book was fantastic and really I expected so since I've loved all of Faber and Mazlich's （as well as Faber's daughter's！） books。 No， I'm not pregnant， but I like to be prepared and nevertheless， whether my daughter has a sibling， these tools are useful for relating with friends and "enemies"。。。 as well as for the overseeing adult （me）。 I'm grateful for the tools and resources。 Basically， it's all about communication - validating emotions and feelings and figuring out a strategy and then coming back and assessing if it's working。 SO good。 Stepping in when necessary， but also giving some independence， sometimes reiterating the "family rules" （a solution without physical violence， for example）。 Basically， having them problem solve with guidance as needed （especially depending on age and development）。The section about focusing on the child at hand was also helpful and eye-opening。 Instead of comparing siblings together （oh， you're my smart one and your sibling is the athlete）， just focus on the one child without comparison to the other。 Or instead of I love all my children the same， no name the specific thing about the child you love， something that highlights their uniqueness （I would never have anyone who is just like you， etc。）。It's really so simple， it's radical。 HIGHLY recommend， even if you have adult children。 There's always something to learn and glean。 。。。more
Kendal
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Excellent sequel to How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk， and a very therapeutic read for any adult who grew up with siblings！
Dan
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This really was very helpful， and a quick read。 Basic summary: sibling relationships are critical， and parents can inadvertently make things a lot worse。 Listen to your kids， try to remember what it was like to be a kid， and make sure you focus on what they seem to need at any given time。
Katy
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4。5 stars。。。 so helpful！
Shelby
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I listened to the audiobook and it made some good points。 It was an interesting setup， a group of parents talking about their children or even their childhood and how they were affected and how to look at things in different ways。 I really loved the topic of how you love your children differently， it’s not that you love one or the other more but you have a unique love for each of them that isn’t the same love for another。 I still bring this up to my boys， they love to compete with each other so I listened to the audiobook and it made some good points。 It was an interesting setup， a group of parents talking about their children or even their childhood and how they were affected and how to look at things in different ways。 I really loved the topic of how you love your children differently， it’s not that you love one or the other more but you have a unique love for each of them that isn’t the same love for another。 I still bring this up to my boys， they love to compete with each other so it’s a good reminder。 Although this book wasn’t exactly an exciting read， I decided on 4 stars because I love how it opened up new ideas that can definitely be applied and helpful。 。。。more
Diana
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Preparing for future！ This book has some great tools and I liked the format。
Iza
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No one cares who is better who is worse who has more who has lessContent in our connectedness we are brothers and sisters after allAchei o livro muito bom， com diversos exemplos práticos sobre a vida entre irmãos。 E um dos aspectos que mais me chamou a atenção é que， embora o foco do livro seja na educação de filhos， há vários insights também para os pais em suas relações com seus respectivos irmãos。Alguns highlights que achei interessante e quero lembrar depois:- trecho para refletir: "imagine No one cares who is better who is worse who has more who has lessContent in our connectedness we are brothers and sisters after allAchei o livro muito bom， com diversos exemplos práticos sobre a vida entre irmãos。 E um dos aspectos que mais me chamou a atenção é que， embora o foco do livro seja na educação de filhos， há vários insights também para os pais em suas relações com seus respectivos irmãos。Alguns highlights que achei interessante e quero lembrar depois:- trecho para refletir: "imagine que seu cônjuge a abrace e diga 'querida， gosto tanto de você e você é tão maravilhosa que eu decidi arrumar mais uma esposa'";- ao invés de rejeitar os sentimentos negativos direcionados ao irmão， é muito melhor aceitá-los e expressar o possível desejo da criança;- é crucial evitar qualquer comparação （favorável ou desfavorável） e， quando um filho falar sobre o outro， é importante retomar o foco para o indivíduo;- em vez de se preocupar com a divisão em partes iguais， é preciso concentrar-se nas necessidades individuais de cada um。 Além disso， é importante mostrar aos filhos que eles são amados de forma única。 。。。more
Katie
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Some helpful guidance here， but the format got really tedious after a while。
Tricia
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Good content but distractingly cheesy。
Trista
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