The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
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- Create Date：2021-03-18 03:16:27
- Update Date：2025-09-08
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- Author：Mark Manson
- ISBN：0062457713
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Summary
New York Times Bestseller
In this generation-defining self-help guide， a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better， happier people。
For decades， we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy， rich life。 "F**k positivity，" Mark Manson says。 "Let’s be honest， shit is f**ked and we have to live with it。" In his wildly popular Internet blog， Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate。 He tells it like it is—a dose of raw， refreshing， honest truth that is sorely lacking today。 The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling， let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected modern society and spoiled a generation， rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up。
Manson makes the argument， backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes， that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade， but on learning to stomach lemons better。 Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary， there are winners and losers in society， and some of it is not fair or your fault。" Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them。 Once we embrace our fears， faults， and uncertainties， once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths， we can begin to find the courage， perseverance， honesty， responsibility， curiosity， and forgiveness we seek。
There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter， Manson makes clear。 While money is nice， caring about what you do with your life is better， because true wealth is about experience。 A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk， filled with entertaining stories and profane， ruthless humor， The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented， grounded lives。
In this generation-defining self-help guide， a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better， happier people。
For decades， we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy， rich life。 "F**k positivity，" Mark Manson says。 "Let’s be honest， shit is f**ked and we have to live with it。" In his wildly popular Internet blog， Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate。 He tells it like it is—a dose of raw， refreshing， honest truth that is sorely lacking today。 The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling， let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected modern society and spoiled a generation， rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up。
Manson makes the argument， backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes， that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade， but on learning to stomach lemons better。 Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary， there are winners and losers in society， and some of it is not fair or your fault。" Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them。 Once we embrace our fears， faults， and uncertainties， once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths， we can begin to find the courage， perseverance， honesty， responsibility， curiosity， and forgiveness we seek。
There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter， Manson makes clear。 While money is nice， caring about what you do with your life is better， because true wealth is about experience。 A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk， filled with entertaining stories and profane， ruthless humor， The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented， grounded lives。
Reviews
Mafalda Serra
，
"Devias ler este livro， ajudou-me imenso。" - disse-me o meu ex-namorado。 Agora compreendo porque é que a relação não resultou。Fraco， fraco。。。 "Devias ler este livro， ajudou-me imenso。" - disse-me o meu ex-namorado。 Agora compreendo porque é que a relação não resultou。Fraco， fraco。。。 。。。more
Dylan W
，
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 God damn。 I wish I had this book when I turned 18。 I would’ve read it multiple times by now。 The way Manson gave me a different perspective on human suffering （whether it’s major or minor） really lifted a weight off my back。 Looking at suffering as a tool rather than a handicap。 His analogies about pain are really useful。 His hard truths and humorous profanity really resonated with someone like me。 I’m grateful someone told me to read this book。 It made my outlook on life better。
Ionut Branea
，
It gives you a prism through which you can see the world。 Maybe most of us knew those ideas presented in the book but had difficulty to put them into words
Tarek Belal
，
Self-improvement and success often occur together。 But that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the same thing。The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience。 And， paradoxically， the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience。The pain of honest confrontation is what generates the greatest trust and respect in your relationships。 Suffering through your fears and anxieties is what allows you to build courage and perseverance。Everything worthwhile Self-improvement and success often occur together。 But that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the same thing。The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience。 And， paradoxically， the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience。The pain of honest confrontation is what generates the greatest trust and respect in your relationships。 Suffering through your fears and anxieties is what allows you to build courage and perseverance。Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience。Negative emotions are a call to action。 When you feel them， it’s because you’re supposed to do something。 Positive emotions， on the other hand， are rewards for taking the proper action。I wanted the reward and not the struggle。 I wanted the result and not the process。 I was in love with not the fight but only the victory。 And life doesn’t work that way。Technology has solved old economic problems by giving us new psychological problems。 The Internet has not just open-sourced information; it has also open-sourced insecurity， self-doubt， and shame。If suffering is inevitable， if our problems in life are unavoidable， then the question we should be asking is not “How do I stop suffering？” but “Why am I suffering—for what purpose？”Self-awareness is like an onion。 There are multiple layers to it， and the more you peel them back， the more likely you’re going to start crying at inappropriate times。Honest self-questioning is difficult。 It requires asking yourself simple questions that are uncomfortable to answer。 In fact， in my experience， the more uncomfortable the answer， the more likely it is to be true。One day， in retrospect， the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful。We don’t always control what happens to us。 But we always control how we interpret what happens to us， as well as how we respond。With great power comes great responsibility。Growth is an endlessly iterative process。 When we learn something new， we don’t go from “wrong” to “right。” Rather， we go from wrong to slightly less wrong。。。 We are always in the process of approaching truth and perfection without actually ever reaching truth or perfection。Certainty is the enemy of growth。 Nothing is for certain until it has already happened—and even then， it’s still debatable。 That’s why accepting the inevitable imperfections of our values is necessary for any growth to take place。Being wrong opens us up to the possibility of change。 Being wrong brings the opportunity for growth。This openness to being wrong must exist for any real change or growth to take place。Aristotle wrote， “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it。” Being able to look at and evaluate different values without necessarily adopting them is perhaps the central skill required in changing one’s own life in a meaningful way。That’s simply reality: if it feels like it’s you versus the world， chances are it’s really just you versus yourself。Improvement at anything is based on thousands of tiny failures， and the magnitude of your success is based on how many times you’ve failed at something。For many of us， our proudest achievements come in the face of the greatest adversity。 Our pain often makes us stronger， more resilient， more grounded。Just as one must suffer physical pain to build stronger bone and muscle， one must suffer emotional pain to develop greater emotional resilience， a stronger sense of self， increased compassion， and a generally happier life。If we follow the “do something” principle， failure feels unimportant。 When the standard of success becomes merely acting—when any result is regarded as progress and important， when inspiration is seen as a reward rather than a prerequisite—we propel ourselves ahead。 We feel free to fail， and that failure moves us forward。The avoidance of rejection （both giving and receiving it） is often sold to us as a way to make ourselves feel better。 But avoiding rejection gives us short-term pleasure by making us rudderless and directionless in the long term。Without conflict， there can be no trust。 Conflict exists to show us who is there for us unconditionally and who is just there for the benefits。Commitment gives you freedom because you’re no longer distracted by the unimportant and frivolous。 Commitment gives you freedom because it hones your attention and focus， directing them toward what is most efficient at making you healthy and happy。But depth is where the gold is buried。 And you have to stay committed to something and go deep to dig it up。 That’s true in relationships， in a career， in building a great lifestyle—in everything。Well， it is not very impressive book and not boring as well。 The stories of the Japanese Lieutenant Hiroo Onoda and the anthropologist Ernest Becker and his famous book （The Denial of Death） are among the most interesting parts in this book。 。。。more
Saffron
，
I can’t give this 0 stars？？？ Why the fuck not？The subtle art of entitlement and misogyny is a better title for the book。 I read this book because someone I know said I would like it because I don’t let things bother me （because I work with dying people， and I realise what is important in life）This guy just talks about his sleeping around， his drug use， his life quandaries。 Some of the lovely things stated were “I grew up wealthy”。 I was so shocked to hear this （Narrator voice: no she was not）Thi I can’t give this 0 stars？？？ Why the fuck not？The subtle art of entitlement and misogyny is a better title for the book。 I read this book because someone I know said I would like it because I don’t let things bother me （because I work with dying people， and I realise what is important in life）This guy just talks about his sleeping around， his drug use， his life quandaries。 Some of the lovely things stated were “I grew up wealthy”。 I was so shocked to hear this （Narrator voice: no she was not）This is regurgitated bullshit being passed off as original thoughts。 What it really is can be considered a gloried frat boy trying to prove he’s not his family but is really born into upset class。 He doesn’t have anything real to contribute other than bragging about his great life which is handed to him。 I don’t need this douche bag to be man-splaining to me。 Save your time 。。。more
Antara
，
3。5 stars。
Nic
，
this book changed my outlook on life， so funny and so relatable i 10/10 recommend this book to everyone
Emily Schario
，
Good， to-the-point advice。 Cuts through the bs。 I think the delivery of some of his advice wouldn't fly in 2021 though。 Good， to-the-point advice。 Cuts through the bs。 I think the delivery of some of his advice wouldn't fly in 2021 though。 。。。more
Nikhil Verma
，
There is no heavy lifting to be done if you are going for this book and that's the biggest positive for me。 Any thinking and reflective persons would have thought of al the points made in the book， irrespective of whether they believe or hold on to those beliefs or not。 No set rules have bene suggested， no guidelines have been suggested for your to adapt and implement。 A multiple of real world scenarios， some of authors personal life has been talked about and related thinking process and various There is no heavy lifting to be done if you are going for this book and that's the biggest positive for me。 Any thinking and reflective persons would have thought of al the points made in the book， irrespective of whether they believe or hold on to those beliefs or not。 No set rules have bene suggested， no guidelines have been suggested for your to adapt and implement。 A multiple of real world scenarios， some of authors personal life has been talked about and related thinking process and various decision possible at that juncture， debate has been made as to what make sense。 This debate is what you are looking for in this book。You can have your own take away and it could vary form mine。 But of course a theme has been presented ad talked about and in all likelihood， it makes sense to ponder upon it。 。。。more
Ferbry_irl
，
Me gustó。 Me quedo con la parte donde hay que ver la muerte cara a cara para recordar que estoy viviendo 。 Memento morí es mi filosofía。 me gustó mucho el libro sin duda para releerlo más adelante。
Karla Merino
，
Material recomendadoEste libro me recuerda la frase， ES LO QUE ES！！！ Sin embargo a través de los ejemplos y vivencias que comparte Mark， nos refuerza el hecho de que es realmente éxito， felicidad y cómo cada quién quiere o pretende vivir su vida。 De responsabilizarnos de nuestras acciones y dar el verdadero valor a las cosas que realmente tienen。
Mariam El-Halag
，
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 كتاب أكثر من رائع。هذه المره الثانيه لقرأتي فيها قرأتها و انا في عمر الثالثه عشر و أعيد قراته في السادسه عشر و ربما أعيد قرأته مره أخري، لم أشعر بتاتًا بأنه مُمل او حشو مثل ما يقول البعض، استمعت كثيرًا برفقته و تمنيت لو تطول رحلتي معه، إنه مثل الترياق المر و لكن يجب عليك بلعه لعيش حياه أفضل。كل كلامه يجب أن يكون منهج للحياه، كلامه صادق بحق، فتح عيني علي الكثير من الأشياء التي كنت في غفله عنها، أنصح الجميع بقرأته، أظن أن نظرتي للأمور تغيرت جذريًا بعد قرأتي هذا الكتاب。 مُمتنه للفرصه التي جعلتني أقرأ كتاب أكثر من رائع。هذه المره الثانيه لقرأتي فيها قرأتها و انا في عمر الثالثه عشر و أعيد قراته في السادسه عشر و ربما أعيد قرأته مره أخري، لم أشعر بتاتًا بأنه مُمل او حشو مثل ما يقول البعض، استمعت كثيرًا برفقته و تمنيت لو تطول رحلتي معه، إنه مثل الترياق المر و لكن يجب عليك بلعه لعيش حياه أفضل。كل كلامه يجب أن يكون منهج للحياه، كلامه صادق بحق، فتح عيني علي الكثير من الأشياء التي كنت في غفله عنها، أنصح الجميع بقرأته، أظن أن نظرتي للأمور تغيرت جذريًا بعد قرأتي هذا الكتاب。 مُمتنه للفرصه التي جعلتني أقرأ هذا الكتاب، و في أقرب وقت سأتي بالعمل الثاني للكاتب، صدقًا أرفع لك القبعه يا صديقي مارك، و شكرًا لكل المشاعر التي جعلتني أعيشها و إدراكي لأمور مهمه كنت غافله عنها。 💙 。。。more
Sinan Yuce
，
Nedense 30dan sonra ben de bu kafada yasiyorum。 Biraz anti kisisel gelisim kitabi oldugu icin begendim。 Zaten 2020de insanlar artik kisisel durusum olayina odaklanmali😁😁
Eric
，
Bought this book at Dymocks bookstore。 Great book， Manson is a genius！
Reymelshemirani
，
کتاب راهکارهایی برای زندگی بهت میده، به شکلِ ساده و روان。 مفاهیمی که خیلی خوب توضیح داده شده و قابلِ درکه。 مطالعهش رو حتماً بهت معرفی میکنم، این کتاب نکاتی رو بهت یاد میده که بهت توی شرایطِ مختلف و واکنشهایی که باید نشون بدی کمک میکنه。
Noor
，
3。5 ✨
Brindha Senthil
，
Completely a wonderful book about reality。。it really help me to understand the complex emotions around me throughout my adulthood。。。one wonderful piece of book that make us understand the ugly truths of life and accept it💜
Leonie
，
I just accidentally deleted my very detailed review of this。。。 thing。 I don’t give enough f*cks about this book to do it again at this point， so here are some pointers to give you a general idea:- has a weird bro-vibe， author keeps mentioning his illustrious previous “dating” life， very annoying - Especially the first chapter felt like very lazy writing， there are other words than f*ck out there to get a point across。 You’d think the author would give enough f*cks about is writing style while wr I just accidentally deleted my very detailed review of this。。。 thing。 I don’t give enough f*cks about this book to do it again at this point， so here are some pointers to give you a general idea:- has a weird bro-vibe， author keeps mentioning his illustrious previous “dating” life， very annoying - Especially the first chapter felt like very lazy writing， there are other words than f*ck out there to get a point across。 You’d think the author would give enough f*cks about is writing style while writing his book。 （Except he doesn’t， and he says so multiple times）- tone is not consistent。 The first chapter felt like an afterthought， like the editor was like “Hmmm， another average self-help book， you need to come up with a decent USP” and the author went with it and wrote a chapter full of expletives - with mental illness in mind， there are a lot of problematic statements- there are quite a lot of contradictions if you pay attention - author does make some good and useful points， a couple of times I felt very seen in my bad habits and way of thinkingTo sum it up and use the author’s own words and ideas: This book is nothing special， it’s not exceptional。 It is very average。 。。。more
Neea
，
Self-help book for people， who don't consider reading one。 Self-help book for people， who don't consider reading one。 。。。more
Ada
，
3 or 4 stars， I’m not sure。 The first half of the book was surprisingly good （and I’m not the biggest fan of “self-help books”）。 It contained very interesting points about prioritising your life and encouraged to have a closer look at our values。 It was definitely worth reading。 However， as we go on it got a little repetitive and confusing。 I don’t agree with all of his philosophies for life but that’s ok。 To sum up， read it and form your own opinion。 😂Plus， the commercial for the author’s next 3 or 4 stars， I’m not sure。 The first half of the book was surprisingly good （and I’m not the biggest fan of “self-help books”）。 It contained very interesting points about prioritising your life and encouraged to have a closer look at our values。 It was definitely worth reading。 However， as we go on it got a little repetitive and confusing。 I don’t agree with all of his philosophies for life but that’s ok。 To sum up， read it and form your own opinion。 😂Plus， the commercial for the author’s next book being played （I’ve listened to the audiobook） a second after the last sentence of the books definitely killed the whole vibe。 。。。more
Aneka
，
Actual rating: 3。5 - 4
Brittney
，
Initially I really enjoyed this book and thought it made excellent points。 I felt very validated reading it because I had independently drawn the same conclusions about happiness as the author， and my MO these days very much complies with the advice in this book。 Reading other reviews， however， I recognize there are issues with some of the premises I glossed over， such as when he all but denounces social justice campaigns。 That didn't sit well with me; and as other reviews point out the book is Initially I really enjoyed this book and thought it made excellent points。 I felt very validated reading it because I had independently drawn the same conclusions about happiness as the author， and my MO these days very much complies with the advice in this book。 Reading other reviews， however， I recognize there are issues with some of the premises I glossed over， such as when he all but denounces social justice campaigns。 That didn't sit well with me; and as other reviews point out the book is written from a privileged perspective。 I suppose I could find the same advice and pearls of wisdom that I liked in this book in any book on Buddhism， I just haven't read one yet （but I plan to！）。 So， my personal experience reading this was positive and I would recommend it but it's probably not the most serious of works on this philosophy。 。。。more
Zahra
，
راهنمای جامعی برای غرق نشدن در کثافتهای زندگی خوشبینانهی خودماناستارتی برای ساختن یک دید متناسب به زندگی و کنار آمدن با آن。 خیلی از نظریات کتابهای روانشناسی، قاعدتا قابل اطمینان نیستند و خب نمیشه چشمبسته پذیرفت اما این کتاب، با فقط کمی شخصیسازی کردن، به درد زندگی همهی آدمهای دنیا میخوره。 برای این که دیدت رو باز کنی و بالاخره ببینی چه اتفاقی داره توی زندگیات میافته و قراره چه چیزهایی ارزشمند باشند برات و چه چیزهایی نه！
Rachel
，
Very thought provoking。 No sugarcoating things and gave blunt truths and unique perspective about life decisions。 I can see it offending some people， but I’m sure the author doesn’t give a f about that。
hi 20_21
，
first day- 17 pages
noah villalon
，
Something about this book being one of the first books I’ve read on my own free will makes it so much better because it was exactly what I was looking for。 The concepts spoken in this book are extremely helpful because majority of the time it forces you to look inwards to yourself and your current life。 Ever since reading this book， I’ve always kept mental notes to check-in with myself whenever a certain event happens that causes， as I would call it， “down bad” moments。 The structure of the book Something about this book being one of the first books I’ve read on my own free will makes it so much better because it was exactly what I was looking for。 The concepts spoken in this book are extremely helpful because majority of the time it forces you to look inwards to yourself and your current life。 Ever since reading this book， I’ve always kept mental notes to check-in with myself whenever a certain event happens that causes， as I would call it， “down bad” moments。 The structure of the book all the way to the paragraphs to the very sentences is very simple and conversational， not the remarkable Shakespearean articulate wording， but simple。 Similar to the flowing water of a zen garden， Manson’s ideas flow with this certain simple fluidity that allows anyone to contemplate their own lives。 。。。more
Ava
，
the most eye opening book i’ve read in a long time。。。so unexpected and good！
Christophe Bourassa
，
Globalement très intéressant。 Vision très intéressante， voire rafraîchissante dans le monde contemporain。 Quelques années après sa parution， je penses qu'il est encore plus pertinent。 Globalement très intéressant。 Vision très intéressante， voire rafraîchissante dans le monde contemporain。 Quelques années après sa parution， je penses qu'il est encore plus pertinent。 。。。more
Casey Novak
，
Enjoyable。
Mehrdad Tr
，