Get the Guy: Use the Secrets of the Male Mind to Find, Attract and Keep Your Ideal Man
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- Create Date：2021-07-19 09:53:05
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Matthew Hussey
- ISBN：0593070755
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Summary
This is the book that single women have been waiting for！ Written by the hottest dating coach on the scene， Matthew Hussey， it offers clear， honest and practical advice for women on how to find their ideal man - and， importantly， how to keep him。 Using simple steps， Matthew guides us through the complex maze of dating and shows us just how to find the guy， get the guy and keep the guy。
Through his work as a peak performance coach， Matthew has gained unparalleled access into what makes guys tick when it comes to women。 He is now using this 'insider information' to advise women who have been unsuccessful in their quest for a lasting relationship with the right man。 His Get the Guy coaching events are hugely successful and the glowing testimonials he receives from those he has helped to find love just go to show that his advice really does work。
In Get the Guy， Matthew shares his dating secrets and provides women with the toolkit they need to approach men， and to create and maintain relationships。 Along the way， he explodes some commonly held myths about what it is that guys really want， shares strategies on how women can take control of their dating destinies and empowers them to go out there and find an exhilarating， adventurous love life。
Through his work as a peak performance coach， Matthew has gained unparalleled access into what makes guys tick when it comes to women。 He is now using this 'insider information' to advise women who have been unsuccessful in their quest for a lasting relationship with the right man。 His Get the Guy coaching events are hugely successful and the glowing testimonials he receives from those he has helped to find love just go to show that his advice really does work。
In Get the Guy， Matthew shares his dating secrets and provides women with the toolkit they need to approach men， and to create and maintain relationships。 Along the way， he explodes some commonly held myths about what it is that guys really want， shares strategies on how women can take control of their dating destinies and empowers them to go out there and find an exhilarating， adventurous love life。
Reviews
Nana
，
The book is going on and on about how you can’t be insecure to “get the guy”。 And then it shows you how you are not enough， and you have to turn your life upside down to be pleasant， but don’t be a pleaser， change， but be yourself… I’ve purchased the book because I’ve seen a few cool videos on YouTube， but I got really bored half way， and really pissed off at its end。 There might be some useful tips in it， so I won’t say that I don’t recommend it， but honestly？ I don’t。
Olivia Suarez
，
I'm a big fan of Matthew Hussey's ever since my best friend sent me his YouTube videos a few years back when I was in a toxic situation and chose to stay in it until seeking therapy。 Since experiencing a breakthrough in therapy about my dating/relationship history， I was ready to start dating again， and I wanted to approach it in a way I hadn't before。 That's when I revisited Matthew Hussey's YouTube channel and discovered he wrote this book。 Matthew stresses the idea of women seeing themselves I'm a big fan of Matthew Hussey's ever since my best friend sent me his YouTube videos a few years back when I was in a toxic situation and chose to stay in it until seeking therapy。 Since experiencing a breakthrough in therapy about my dating/relationship history， I was ready to start dating again， and I wanted to approach it in a way I hadn't before。 That's when I revisited Matthew Hussey's YouTube channel and discovered he wrote this book。 Matthew stresses the idea of women seeing themselves as "high value women，" which means a woman who is versatile in qualities such as spontaneity and confidence， and continues to put her goals and pre-existing relationships as priorities while out in the dating field。 The concept embraces knowing one's self worth outside of a relationship with a man， while investing in said situation as much as a man is willing to put in。 Obviously， the advice he offers won't fit everyone's dating style or views， but there are some good takeaways。 Shoot， I actually tried several of his tips from his YouTube channel and they did help when I started dating my now-boyfriend a few months ago。 :） Even if I was still single I would read this book， but more importantly， encourage anyone out there who is ready to find love to remember to love themselves first！ It does wonders。 :） 。。。more
Paria shaheen
，
This book was truely helpful。 As much as I recommend it to all women， I sincerely hope men get to read this as well，in terms of better understanding of relationships。I also find that cultural values and frameworks play a key role in establishing relationships which from my point of view was neglected in the book。。。From the book:“When we own even our imperfections our insecurities lose their power over us。”
Shantalie
，
Matthew Hussey is someone who really markets himself well and knows how to grab a person's attention。 I've watched a lot of his videos on social media and。 thought maybe he'd provide some useful insights in his book。 Also， I was wondering why so many women hero-worship this guy as if he some sort of guru and pay a small fortune to attend his events。 In all honesty， I didn't find anything revolutionary in this book。 It's all been said before in the likes of 'Why Men Love Bitches' （Except he calls Matthew Hussey is someone who really markets himself well and knows how to grab a person's attention。 I've watched a lot of his videos on social media and。 thought maybe he'd provide some useful insights in his book。 Also， I was wondering why so many women hero-worship this guy as if he some sort of guru and pay a small fortune to attend his events。 In all honesty， I didn't find anything revolutionary in this book。 It's all been said before in the likes of 'Why Men Love Bitches' （Except he calls。 bitches High。 Value Women） and 'He's Just Not That Into You'。 If you've never read any dating self-help then this might be useful to you but it's not really anything groundbreaking。 He says a lot of silly things like if your man wants to be kinky， do it otherwise he'll cheat - I don't expect that will go down too well with the woke brigade and also what about asexual couples and what not。 Human nature is just more nuanced than Hussey describes。 He is overly positive too which doesn't encourage the reader to be realistic about their prospects。 Sure， it's fine to mess about in your 20s and 30s but let's be real the world isn't king to 40-something women。 By that point， we all have a bit of baggage （some more than others） and he forgets to mention that there is limited stock of half-decent men left - it's all divorcees， baby daddies， commitment-phobes， and just generally people more set in their ways。 That's not to say there is no chance and one should give up， but you shouldn't expect to have options jumping at you from all angles either。 So， read it if you want - it's not terrible and he is pretty charismatic， Just don't take what he says as gospel either。 。。。more
Kristin
，
This was a funny， honest and truly enjoyable book about the crazy world of dating！ I feel that the author is seriously engaged in trying to help and give concrete and honest advices without saying: first you have to lose 50 pounds use botox and change your wardrobe - and be 20-ish years old！ Or be a CEO or millionaire for that matter。。。I really liked it， whether it works or not， is out of my league， but it sounds really sensible and intelligent - and that's not adjectives I have used a lot when This was a funny， honest and truly enjoyable book about the crazy world of dating！ I feel that the author is seriously engaged in trying to help and give concrete and honest advices without saying: first you have to lose 50 pounds use botox and change your wardrobe - and be 20-ish years old！ Or be a CEO or millionaire for that matter。。。I really liked it， whether it works or not， is out of my league， but it sounds really sensible and intelligent - and that's not adjectives I have used a lot when it comes to these types of self-help books！ 。。。more
Jason Wicky Ong
，
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 Reading just to know more about Matthew's mindset and techniques。 Not interested to get the guy haha。 The first half of the book was better。 Second half was really geared towards women。some notes:aware， smile， connectmk opinwork the rm， walk slowly conf， talk to many， smileexpandget contacts， facebookpercept can be changhumans r socialjust conv reg and u bec gdfun to mk some1 smiletalk to any1， pradec be sociablereduce anxiety？your intent。。。u may never talk to them again？place less value on outc Reading just to know more about Matthew's mindset and techniques。 Not interested to get the guy haha。 The first half of the book was better。 Second half was really geared towards women。some notes:aware， smile， connectmk opinwork the rm， walk slowly conf， talk to many， smileexpandget contacts， facebookpercept can be changhumans r socialjust conv reg and u bec gdfun to mk some1 smiletalk to any1， pradec be sociablereduce anxiety？your intent。。。u may never talk to them again？place less value on outcome。。。learnrej is nothing vs regrtry。 u win some， u lose some。most ppl aren't doing anyt so there's still plenty of opporthot person？ turn out to be selfish jerku r alr desired because u r conf， knowledgeable， charming， smart， funny。comm skill is key， not nec talent。beh as a high val desi pers， proplayful， spont， being in the moment， personality， let go of self consclegend。 keep them thinking。give hints， very obviouseye， smile， mv closertake the leadwhen ppl help u， they also like u。 Franklin effCrea/talk sensual， unexpHey I have something to ask。 pause。 I cant decide which muffin to get？ you pass or gv another chanproactinot juzt small talkemo conn， intrigue， connshare val， ask for their valassoc pos feelingssay watever u want no matt what q Meetup instead of dateyou look like Gal GadotMk statement: You should come！， not askingbrag indirectaim is alw arrange to meetP2Sunny optmLooks and beh: hw u carry urself， charchallenge: have to work forcharism comf in ur skinshow u r high valask more why qtry something newbel， supportprot ur timeu hv to earn it， they hv toogv first but dun gv allhv hobbbe honbel and gd wil followFull packa （combo of traits）Mood creatoAlways stay ready （don't cram）Sto tt tells ur valPlan the detailsMk it look spontImg write books， lifestyle， look up， conf upWork hardestGrab opportBe energetic （use lingo）Tons of valDun compromi ur stTreated like a vip， unfaz， worthCert， convi， conf， ey， personali， sell urselfPpl want uUSP calculShy Introvert is not an excJust get winsJust get rej。 Become desensitizedRej is nothing compared to regretsApproach many people。 Life's short。 Chances much higher。People like u and treat u as a leader。Your words come out like goldHunger amb is ultimate driveChange to peak st anytSucc is 2mm awayKnow exactly what u want （Sit down and think）Model， learn， mix withU cannot be pos or angry at same time。Do hard。 Pride conf comes。 U have to push urself。 Times short。Rej is nothing comp to regrGv back 。。。more
Katie
，
More like 2。75ish。
capture stories
，
A great book that functions as a simple， straightforward operating manual about life and relationship: it's cute， fun， and entertaining as Matthew Hussey gives us a glimpse into how a guy "generally" would think being in and out of love， when they are IN or OUT of action or missing in action and hints into the train of thoughts behind those unfathomable disappearance acts of men during and after connection。 I enjoyed the bright side， hopeful and proactiveness of Matthew's advice about building a A great book that functions as a simple， straightforward operating manual about life and relationship: it's cute， fun， and entertaining as Matthew Hussey gives us a glimpse into how a guy "generally" would think being in and out of love， when they are IN or OUT of action or missing in action and hints into the train of thoughts behind those unfathomable disappearance acts of men during and after connection。 I enjoyed the bright side， hopeful and proactiveness of Matthew's advice about building a relationship， keeping it， and most importantly， improving your life by being your best version。The book's intelligent approach is more practical， common sense geared and applying these tips to daily interactions with people you meet。 Though dating and relationship topic books are not my cups of tea， I did appreciate the values and the author's original aspects。 It is eye-opening for a person who is clueless about a love relationship。 No， I DID NOT get the guy！ BUT I got some BIG tips about the guy， and best of all， I get MYSELF。 。。。more
Sophia Marie
，
I used to watch all of Mathew's Videos as well as read this book， in order to soak everything up I could about this topic because I was so confused in the dating world。 That was when I was 25。 In hindsight， all this stuff confused me even more。Not saying everything is wrong that he writes， and sure， there is some useful stuff in there， but of course every guy will be attracted to: a "woman （who） is not just sexy， or just playful， or just certain， or just feminine， or just bursting with integrity I used to watch all of Mathew's Videos as well as read this book， in order to soak everything up I could about this topic because I was so confused in the dating world。 That was when I was 25。 In hindsight， all this stuff confused me even more。Not saying everything is wrong that he writes， and sure， there is some useful stuff in there， but of course every guy will be attracted to: a "woman （who） is not just sexy， or just playful， or just certain， or just feminine， or just bursting with integrity， but because she possesses a unique combination of traits: the girl who is warm， has integrity， and can charm his family， then rips his clothes off in the bedroom and is a sexual goddess; the girl who is playful with his friends， can debate politics like a pro， but knows how to enjoy a lazy Sunday watching movies and eating pizza; the girl who is independent， kicks ass out in the world， but is feminine and loving with her man。"Of course， every guy will like that perfect woman。 But please tell me， how realistic is this？He talks a lot about standards， but these are IMPOSSIBLE standards to meet。 I didn't realize how crap I felt after reading this book， because I felt like I am not good enough。This book is so not backed up by psychology or what we know from science。 Have you ever heard of attachment styles？ That will tell you a lot more about a person and why he acts a certain way in relationships， and it's nothing to do with you。 It's about how he grew up。Anyway， now I am 29 and with an amazing guy。 What helped me in the end was an amazing therapist， that helped me get rid of all this confusion in my head。 The problem with these books is that it is so easy to think you have to be unavailable。 I learned that it's actually really helpful to show a guy how much you like them （they are just humans too， after all）。 This is what ultimately changed everything for me。And my guy and I， we can just laugh together， that is why things work。 Definitely not because I am perfect。 Sure， it probably helps that neither of us is a total loser。 But other than that， it is just a good energy between us， that is something you just can not learn in a book。I hate to write something bad about Matthew， I do still feel like he made some great content。 But so much in this book is just so toxic and I hate to think that young woman read this and start feeling horrible about themselves and get even more confused。 I recommend getting a professional who bases their tips on research from psychology :） 。。。more
Patricia
，
I've read several dating advice books and this is by far my favorite one so far。 Worth the read！ I've read several dating advice books and this is by far my favorite one so far。 Worth the read！ 。。。more
Nancy
，
I can say I'm positively surprised by this book。 I didn't have a lot of expectations。 I thought it would be moslty clichéd。 I was not really looking to "get the guy" but I had seen some of Matthew hussey's videos and thought I give his book a try。 I didn't see it focused on really getting the guy but more about working on ourselves and have a life that we love and that without necessarily running after it， we will meet a guy who appreciate us and wants to be with us。 I gained a lot of good ideas I can say I'm positively surprised by this book。 I didn't have a lot of expectations。 I thought it would be moslty clichéd。 I was not really looking to "get the guy" but I had seen some of Matthew hussey's videos and thought I give his book a try。 I didn't see it focused on really getting the guy but more about working on ourselves and have a life that we love and that without necessarily running after it， we will meet a guy who appreciate us and wants to be with us。 I gained a lot of good ideas from the book and I loved the author perspective。 I would personally recommend it。 If you're looking for something deep， this might not be your book， but if you struggle with meeting guys， this is a good start。 。。。more
Lauren
，
Most dating books tell you what not to do。 Here's a book dedicated to telling you what you can do。 In his book， Get the Guy， Matthew Hussey - relationship expert， matchmaker， and star of the reality show Ready for Love - reveals the secrets of the male mind and the fundamentals of dating and mating for a proven， revolutionary approach to help women to find lasting love。I am currently in a relationship with someone so I read this book mainly for the male perspective。 The what do guys think when s Most dating books tell you what not to do。 Here's a book dedicated to telling you what you can do。 In his book， Get the Guy， Matthew Hussey - relationship expert， matchmaker， and star of the reality show Ready for Love - reveals the secrets of the male mind and the fundamentals of dating and mating for a proven， revolutionary approach to help women to find lasting love。I am currently in a relationship with someone so I read this book mainly for the male perspective。 The what do guys think when someone does this or why did they act like that when I did this。 I thought there were a lot of good insights in this book even for someone in a relationship。 This advice is also not only good with helping to find a man but also for people， like me， that do not tend to come out of their shell as much as they should。 。。。more
Andra Enache
，
I read this book out of curiosity， to see what are the latest tips given to women to "get the guy"， how they "should" act and be in order to make it happen。 Although some parts are very interesting and definitely useful for both women and men， I missed the lack of data and psychological background of the book。 Definitely not my cup of tea， but an easy book to read for anyhow who wants to understand better men behaviour。 I read this book out of curiosity， to see what are the latest tips given to women to "get the guy"， how they "should" act and be in order to make it happen。 Although some parts are very interesting and definitely useful for both women and men， I missed the lack of data and psychological background of the book。 Definitely not my cup of tea， but an easy book to read for anyhow who wants to understand better men behaviour。 。。。more
Quynh Ton
，
This book will save tons of my time in relationships。 Thank you very much， Matthew！
Laurab
，
Jedna od boljih knjiga o muško-ženskim odnosima。 Autora već dugi niz godina pratim na youtube-u tako da sam znala da knjiga neće biti promašaj。 Sve preporuke。
Marco
，
I can explainMore and more single women have been asking me what I recommend they do to get a decent guy。 I， like someone else I saw here in the review section， decided to give this book a go in order to better help these patients。Just as expected with most lifestyle coaches， the book lacks nuance and the author is frequently kind of a dork - especially so in the audio version。 But there is some good advice here so I can't say I regret reading it。 I can explainMore and more single women have been asking me what I recommend they do to get a decent guy。 I， like someone else I saw here in the review section， decided to give this book a go in order to better help these patients。Just as expected with most lifestyle coaches， the book lacks nuance and the author is frequently kind of a dork - especially so in the audio version。 But there is some good advice here so I can't say I regret reading it。 。。。more
Michelle Dominguez Dominguez
，
Wonderful how he focuses on the person， being the best version， rather than just the other。
Brandy
，
Fun book club read
Piper
，
i actually found this more helpful that say the betches “i had a nice time”
Mara
，
Amazing read！ Although the cover might suggest otherwise， this book is not about becoming the female version of a "Pick-Up Artist"。 It's about being confident and knowing your own value。 10/10 would recommend to all women between age 18 and 118， single OR taken。 Amazing read！ Although the cover might suggest otherwise， this book is not about becoming the female version of a "Pick-Up Artist"。 It's about being confident and knowing your own value。 10/10 would recommend to all women between age 18 and 118， single OR taken。 。。。more
Georgiana
，
Some of it made sense。 Some of it， well， I just don’t know。 I think men should appreciate women for their brain power， work ethic， ambition， kindness， you get it。 It just made it seem like you just can’t hold a man’s attention unless you reduce yourself to sex kitten status。 There was much emphasis placed on a man’s need to feel desired and a woman’s willingness to be open to sexual adventure。 Women need it too but。。。if a relationship doesn’t do a deeper dive than the physical or putting so much Some of it made sense。 Some of it， well， I just don’t know。 I think men should appreciate women for their brain power， work ethic， ambition， kindness， you get it。 It just made it seem like you just can’t hold a man’s attention unless you reduce yourself to sex kitten status。 There was much emphasis placed on a man’s need to feel desired and a woman’s willingness to be open to sexual adventure。 Women need it too but。。。if a relationship doesn’t do a deeper dive than the physical or putting so much emphasis on that relational aspect， especially for women， I mean。。。what’s left if/when a major illness or infirmity strikes？ I’ve been reading books like this as a precursor to a feeble attempt to re-enter the dating game。 I do not think I am going to play this game well。 Also， this book and others have informed me that I must be a lady and passively and demurely sit around waiting to be chased/hunted by a man。 Like I’m prey。 They like to chase。 They like a challenge。 But what if I see something I like？ Fml。 I’m failing before I even begin。 This is the final relationship advice book I will read。 I’ve lost enough brain cells。 。。。more
Tiina Pärtel
，
Practical advice and the whole book in "to this like that" - style。 Important question to ask， when you find someone:*Do your core values match？ And if they do， are your standards in these values the same？Reminder: Don't invest in his potential instead of person in front of you！ Practical advice and the whole book in "to this like that" - style。 Important question to ask， when you find someone:*Do your core values match？ And if they do， are your standards in these values the same？Reminder: Don't invest in his potential instead of person in front of you！ 。。。more
Kim
，
Should be subtitled how to manipulate your potential partner while still following patriarchal expectations。
Clannad
，
It was an amazing book with some amazing life lessons。
Rajvi
，
Exactly what we expected from Matthew， Insights and Inclusiveness。 Most importantly I liked the unbiased truth and the way it's written with love and respect for both men and women。 Loved the F。R。I。E。N。D。S。 refrences！ Definitely suggest picking up a copy and going through。 Exactly what we expected from Matthew， Insights and Inclusiveness。 Most importantly I liked the unbiased truth and the way it's written with love and respect for both men and women。 Loved the F。R。I。E。N。D。S。 refrences！ Definitely suggest picking up a copy and going through。 。。。more
Bojana Zdravkovic
，
It's a good read even for people who have no intention of ever being in a romantic relationship。 No harm in improving one's emotional intelligence。 It's a good read even for people who have no intention of ever being in a romantic relationship。 No harm in improving one's emotional intelligence。 。。。more
Ashley
，
Interesting。 Some solid advice， some confusing， some contradictory。 Not really a fan of self-help books， but overall， this was fairly good。
Emily
，
Great information about relationship dynamics but the writing reads like a blog post。。。。 I think you would get the same information from watching his YouTube videos
Sophie
，
DNF
Laura Wolf
，