Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
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- Create Date：2021-07-17 08:53:25
- Update Date：2025-09-06
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- Author：James Hollis
- ISBN：1592402070
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Summary
What does it really mean to be a grown up in today's world？ We assume that once we "get it together" with the right job， marry the right person， have children， and buy a home， all is settled and well。 But adulthood presents varying levels of growth， and is rarely the respite of stability we expected。 Turbulent emotional shifts can take place anywhere between the age of thirty-five and seventy when we question the choices we've made， realize our limitations， and feel stuck-- commonly known as the "midlife crisis。" Jungian psycho-analyst James Hollis believes it is only in the second half of life that we can truly come to know who we are and thus create a life that has meaning。 In Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life， Hollis explores the ways we can grow and evolve to fully become ourselves when the traditional roles of adulthood aren't quite working for us， revealing a new way of uncovering and embracing our authentic selves。 Offering wisdom to anyone facing a career that no longer seems fulfilling， a long-term relationship that has shifted， or family transitions that raise issues of aging and mortality， Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life provides a reassuring message and a crucial bridge across this critical passage of adult development。
Reviews
Angeli
，
This book is deep， but very thought provoking。 I really enjoyed it and already want to go back and re-read。 Who doesn't want to live their happiest life？ Part of that is letting go， moving on， and taking charge of your own story。 This book is deep， but very thought provoking。 I really enjoyed it and already want to go back and re-read。 Who doesn't want to live their happiest life？ Part of that is letting go， moving on， and taking charge of your own story。 。。。more
Mind Loading。。。
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‘’Orta Yaş Krizi’’ olarak adlandırılan tuzağın kucağına düşenlere hitap eden bir kitap。 Orta Yaş ve sonrasının arabayı sağa çekip kontak kapatacak yaş değil tam aksine ‘’Anlam Arayışı’’na odaklanıp Gerçek Benliğin ortaya çıkarılacak yaşlar olduğunu açıklamaya çalışan bir kitap。Yazar James Hollisi Jungçu Psikanaliz olması sebebiyle Ünlü Psikiyatrist Jung’un ekolü doğrultusunda bu konuları izah etmeye çalışmış。 Günümüz insanına kısaca şu soruyu sormuş aslında:‘’Kariyer， çocuk sahibi olmak， bunlar ‘’Orta Yaş Krizi’’ olarak adlandırılan tuzağın kucağına düşenlere hitap eden bir kitap。 Orta Yaş ve sonrasının arabayı sağa çekip kontak kapatacak yaş değil tam aksine ‘’Anlam Arayışı’’na odaklanıp Gerçek Benliğin ortaya çıkarılacak yaşlar olduğunu açıklamaya çalışan bir kitap。Yazar James Hollisi Jungçu Psikanaliz olması sebebiyle Ünlü Psikiyatrist Jung’un ekolü doğrultusunda bu konuları izah etmeye çalışmış。 Günümüz insanına kısaca şu soruyu sormuş aslında:‘’Kariyer， çocuk sahibi olmak， bunların hepsi tek bir şeyle， hayatınızın anlamlı olduğu fikriyle karşılaştırıldığında birer mayadır。 （illüzyon） der Jung。 Bir hap， yeni bir araba， hatta yeni bir sevgili， hayatımıza derinlik kazandıracak anlamı nasıl sağlayabilir？Kısaca; Bu kitaptan önce Jung’un kitaplarını ve ekolünü araştırmak okumak， daha güçlü ve kalıcı bir etki bırakır。 Sonuçta bu kitap çok bir şey katmadı。 Zaten kitabın yazarı da bunu belirtmiş。 Genelde bildiğiniz şeyler bu bahsettiklerim demiş kitapta。 Bu kitaba vakit harcayacağınıza Modern Psikoloji’nin 3 babasından biri olan Ünlü Psikiyatrist Jung’un kitaplarını okumak daha çok şey katacaktır。 * * * ‘’İnsan için can alıcı soru şudur: Sonsuzluğun parçası mısın， yoksa değil misin？。。。 Bu yaşamda yani burdayken sonsuzlukta bir bağlantımız olduğunu anlayabilirsek isteklerimiz ve tutumumuz değişir çünkü sonuç olarak， özüne sahip olduğumuz bir şey olduğumuzu varsayarız。 Bu düşünceyi içimizde oluşturabilirsek yaşamımız boşa geçmemiş olur。’’ Sy 214‘’Ruh， özerktir ve içinde doğduğumuz aileden， kültürden ve tuhaf geçmişimizden kaynaklanan sernaryodan daha derin bir senaryoyu ifade edecektir。 O halde bize düşen görev， daha küçük senaryolara olan bağlılığımızdan kurtulup bizi bütünlüğe ulaştıracak daha büyük bir projeye adanmaktır。’’ Sy 278‘’Yazgı （destiny） kelimesi， köken itibariyle bir nehrin kendi kıyısını takip etmesi gibi， belirli bir yol izlenmesi anlamında kullanılmıştır。 Bu nehir birçok değişikliğe maruz kalır， bazen kurur， kimi zaman taşar， gün gelir yenilenir， tazelenir ancak her zaman ilerler ve büyük bir denize， ruha akar。’’ Sy 265 。。。more
Sandra
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Too verbose for my taste。 He makes his points by going back to 19th century stories。 What a bore。 A lot of this information could be more concise and to the point， especially for a book that reminds us of our mortality and how little time we have left to undo all the damage from the first half of our lives。 I loved James Hollis’ The Eden Project， one of the most influential books for me personally， but I lost patience with this one。
Andrew
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I admit there is a lot of projecting by this author， and so there are parts that I am not totally sure anyone fully understands。 Yet， when it is comprehensible， there are weighty considerations。
Ivy Weston
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The title is so promising， but it’s really just a way to draw you in to a Jungian psychology book。 The author says the same thing 8 bazillion times。 A few interesting parts but not enough to keep my interest。
Zy
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چیزهایی هستن که می دانیم اما هر از چندی نیاز به تلنگری داریم از جنس ارزش ها و معنا ، مبادا که از مسیر دور افتاده و گم شویم 。 معنای خودت رو زندگی کن ، رویای شخصیت رو 。。。
Galibkaan
，
james hollis benim hayatıma hep doğru zamanda girmiş bir yazar， 30'larımda da öyleydi 40'larımda da öyle oluyor。 bu kitabı hayatın genel bir muhasebesine itiyor bizi， nerelerde takıldık， sıkıştık， ilerledik gibi sorular yöneltiyor bize。 hayatın çeşitli vechelerini hollis'le birlikte inceliyoruz， bir yandan hollis'le bir yandan kendimizle söyleşiyoruz aslında。 benim tabii en çok önemsediğim bölümler 8 ve 9。bölümler oldu。 çünkü bu bölümlerde kutsallığından， gizeminden koparılmış modern hayatımızda james hollis benim hayatıma hep doğru zamanda girmiş bir yazar， 30'larımda da öyleydi 40'larımda da öyle oluyor。 bu kitabı hayatın genel bir muhasebesine itiyor bizi， nerelerde takıldık， sıkıştık， ilerledik gibi sorular yöneltiyor bize。 hayatın çeşitli vechelerini hollis'le birlikte inceliyoruz， bir yandan hollis'le bir yandan kendimizle söyleşiyoruz aslında。 benim tabii en çok önemsediğim bölümler 8 ve 9。bölümler oldu。 çünkü bu bölümlerde kutsallığından， gizeminden koparılmış modern hayatımızdan ruhumuzun gizli gündemine -o la la！- nasıl döneceğimizle ilgili ipuçları da var。 bu bölümler tasavvufla iç içe。 kitapta çok sayıda mevlana göndermesi de var o da güzel。 kitabın asıl önermesi şu sanırım: egonun istedikleriyle hayatını boşa harcıyorsun， zaten o yüzden mutsuzsun。 bunu fark et ve sana ezelden beridir çağrıda bulunan Ruhunun peşinden git cânım efendim。 zor bir yolculuk bu ama senin yapman murad edilen yolculuk başından beri buydu zaten。 bir merdiveni habire çıkıyorsun ama o merdiven egonun duvarına dayanmış， oysa senin Ruhun duvarına tırmanıp sonsuz olasılıkları görmen gerekiyordu。 。。。more
Marco
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Some problems I see with the author's point of view:1。 He thinks everyone's goal in life is toward self-realization。 I wonder if he ever came across the argument espoused in Please Understand Me II: Temperament， Character， Intelligence， where the author says that this goal toward self-realization is more common among certain types of people （NF/Idealist）， which also happens to be the personality most common among psychotherapists。 In other words， just because he， James Hollis， had this need， and Some problems I see with the author's point of view:1。 He thinks everyone's goal in life is toward self-realization。 I wonder if he ever came across the argument espoused in Please Understand Me II: Temperament， Character， Intelligence， where the author says that this goal toward self-realization is more common among certain types of people （NF/Idealist）， which also happens to be the personality most common among psychotherapists。 In other words， just because he， James Hollis， had this need， and a lot of the people he reads also had this need， he thinks people who don't get there are as unhappy as he was before he got there。2。 He is very sure that the child's family is the biggest influence in his life， forever。 I wonder if he ever came across the arguments espoused in The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do， where a specialist in child development attacks quite convincingly that theory。3。 In his rousseauistic view of human beings he seems to disregard the possibility that some people should really adapt to their family's or society's pressures。 There are many immature people in the world that are or would be better off following more traditional roadmaps for a good life than listening to themselves。 The stories of the most idiotic behaviors by people who are just “doing their thang”， narrated by Theodore Dalrymple comes to mind。4。 Not wanting to sound more unscientific than he already has to （he's not a psychologist/ psychiatrist and he's Jungian） the author repeats twice or thrice， when talking about depression， that he's "not referring to biological depression， which might account for 25% of the cases and in which case the patient should take antidepressants"。 I wonder if he's aware that no biological marker for depression has ever been found， or of the mounting evidence that antidepressants are as good as active placebos （The New Mind-Body Science of Depression， The Emperor's New Drugs: Exploding the Antidepressant Myth， Anatomy of an Epidemic: Magic Bullets， Psychiatric Drugs， and the Astonishing Rise of Mental Illness in America）5。 He is a bit too interested in his inner word。 It reminded me of Becoming Myself: A Psychiatrist's Memoir， Irvin Yalom's autobiography。 Among other things Yalom would record and listen to his own psychotherapy sessions， sometimes more than once， analyze himself extensively， reread his own journal entries， his own books， etc。 I mean， surely there's a healthier mean between not being aware of your own inner life and being that self-obsessed。 And as far as I can tell from this guy and Yalom's late writings， this way of being isn’t making them very equanimous in their journeys towards death （they’re both in their 80's）。 I get the impression they should give their inner lives a rest and be a little bit more like normal old people for a change。 I don't think it's a coincidence you can't quite find Hollis' age online （only estimates） - he seems to be fighting with being perceived as old。------------------O James Hollis é um psicoterapeuta junguiano， ou seja， é um profissional que segue as teorias do psiquiatra Carl Jung para tratar das pessoas。 Geralmente， os junguianos dão muita ênfase ao poder do inconsciente pra guiar a vida das pessoas， então tentam acessar esse inconsciente através dos sonhos e de outros símbolos na vida da pessoa。 A ideia é que o inconsciente sabe o que é melhor e sempre está， em uma dialética com o consciente， buscando guiar o paciente rumo à individuação， Isto é， ao processo através do qual a pessoa se torna a versão mais madura e completa de si mesmo。 。。。more
Justin
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Succinct， insightful， exhaustive。 Every paragraph packs a punch。 Ego vs soul。 Pursuit of the self。 Who are we truly living for？ A must-read。
Ali Bicak
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Must-read for folks in forties or other immature adults in later ages -there may be still hope for us to grow up ;）
Bob Ferguson
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Great book for anyone who has “it all” but still feels an ache in the soul。 I’m 49 and this book asked some great questions for self examination about where you are， how you got there and what you need to do next。I liked the way he framed a midlife crisis as a blessing because it indicates one is actually waking up and becoming a more conscious human being。I also appreciate that he doesn’t candy coat that changing your situation creates anxiety for yourself and those around you but that is prefe Great book for anyone who has “it all” but still feels an ache in the soul。 I’m 49 and this book asked some great questions for self examination about where you are， how you got there and what you need to do next。I liked the way he framed a midlife crisis as a blessing because it indicates one is actually waking up and becoming a more conscious human being。I also appreciate that he doesn’t candy coat that changing your situation creates anxiety for yourself and those around you but that is preferable to the depression and anxiety and regret one feels when you continue to do nothing at all。 。。。more
Jon Chen
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Seminal
Mahdi Abedinzadeh
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بهتر است کار خود را بد انجام دهیم ،به جای آن که کار دیگری را به بهترین نحو انجام دهیم 。تو زمانی از بلا دور خواهی ماندکه کاری را انجام دهی که باید انجام دهی 。دارم یاد می گیرم که ببینم ، نمی دانم چرا این گونه است ، اما همه چیز عمیق تر در وجودم نفوذ می کند و در جایی که تاکنون همیشه پایان می یافت ، دیگر متوقف نمی شود 。 من یک خویشتن درونی دارم که نسبت به آن غافل بوده ام 。 همه چیز اکنون به سمت خاصی می رود 。 این که در آنجا چه اتفاقی می افتد ، من نمی دانم 。
Elham Ea
，
متاسفانه ترجمه بد کتاب باعث شد نیمه خوانده رهاش کنم。 سید مرتضی نظری رو هم به «بلک لیست» ترجمه هام اضافه کردم。
Mary Holt-Wilson
，
I liked this a great deal except that the author repeats himself a great deal throughout the text。
Sarah
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Thought provoking but very scholarly approach to a self-help guide （not that I'm complaining）。 This is a lot of information to digest， but brings a lot of psychological and philosophical approaches to what most would stereotype as "mid-life crises"。 Thought provoking but very scholarly approach to a self-help guide （not that I'm complaining）。 This is a lot of information to digest， but brings a lot of psychological and philosophical approaches to what most would stereotype as "mid-life crises"。 。。。more
Byron Barnes
，
Though a bit flowery in language， and long winded， the book really gave me inspiration to push forward through some things。
Richard
，
Not a self-help book， Hollis gives us a psychological analysis of our time， and how to follow the dictates of one's soul in a culture obsessed with distraction。 Be warned: once you read this book， it becomes impossible to view things in the same way。 Erudite， voluble， yet specific， Hollis' writing is far more sophisticated than books of this type usually are。 He treats his reader as an educated adult。 I loved this book， and would recommend it to a person who is ready to take a deep， self-examini Not a self-help book， Hollis gives us a psychological analysis of our time， and how to follow the dictates of one's soul in a culture obsessed with distraction。 Be warned: once you read this book， it becomes impossible to view things in the same way。 Erudite， voluble， yet specific， Hollis' writing is far more sophisticated than books of this type usually are。 He treats his reader as an educated adult。 I loved this book， and would recommend it to a person who is ready to take a deep， self-examining， no-holds-barred look at midlife and its challenges。 。。。more
Duncan Kipngetich
，
James Hollis takes you from voyaging through the darkwood （uncertainties in life） and ends the journey with a visit to the swamplands （Grief， guilt， anxieties， depression， betrayal。。etc） 。 Various concerning topics including intimacy， family's role in the second half， careers & vocation are covered in the book。 A lot of psychological vocabularies used in the book; a dictionary/google beside you whilst reading the book would be ideal。 The second-half doesen't only imply the mid-life crisis but ra James Hollis takes you from voyaging through the darkwood （uncertainties in life） and ends the journey with a visit to the swamplands （Grief， guilt， anxieties， depression， betrayal。。etc） 。 Various concerning topics including intimacy， family's role in the second half， careers & vocation are covered in the book。 A lot of psychological vocabularies used in the book; a dictionary/google beside you whilst reading the book would be ideal。 The second-half doesen't only imply the mid-life crisis but rather events that summons the soul on why/what questions in your personal life。 This does not occur once but many times throughout our lives as James notes， "。。summoning of the soul is like stepping into deepest part of the ocean uncertain whether we will make it to some other distant shore; you'll never arrive at the distant show without consenting to leave the familair light of the port left behind。" I will be on a second-time read asap！ And write a summarised review。 Worth a read even if in your early twenties， it's even an advantage。 Lucky to have heard the "Art of Manliness" podcast on Spotify where James Hollis was interviewed; his detailed description of the second half was worth a listen which led me to buy the paperback from Amazon。 The podcast can be a good place for a start and get more information about the second-half of life is about。 。。。more
Professor Weasel
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Good but intense。 Will try to type of my notes for this later。
Leigh Outlaw
，
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 Chapter Nine sort of lost/ disinterested me。 The final two chapters it bounced back。 Overall a good read to help expand thinking。 Wish there were a couple of better explanations for closure in the final chapters。 Keep a dictionary on hand， because the vocabulary is definitely on the scholarly side。
Dorothy
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Had much wisdom and insights about human psyche。
Maura
，
As a self help junkie， I read a lot of these types of books about finding yourself， exploring why and how you grow as a person， what it all means etc。 I truly enjoyed this one as there is much more depth， better writing， and more incorporation of larger/universal themes， socio-economic and historical contexts to add weight and validity to his ideas and experience。 The title is super cheesy though and doesn’t well represent the richness of what he writes inside。
Hilary
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This is one of those books that is filled with underlines and notes。 I reference this book often as a guide。 Simple shares on awareness and growth as we move into that second half。 I've been stopped with curiosity every time I have it with me。 It creates great conversations。 This is one of those books that is filled with underlines and notes。 I reference this book often as a guide。 Simple shares on awareness and growth as we move into that second half。 I've been stopped with curiosity every time I have it with me。 It creates great conversations。 。。。more
Kim Meyers
，
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 audio"True spirituality does not offer answers; it inspires bigger questions。"1。 where has life， in its unfairness， stuck you， fixated you， caused you to circle back？2。 Where has life blessed you， given you a gift？ And what have you done with that gift？3。 where are you blocked by fear？4。 what is the fear beneath the fear？5。 where was your father and mother stuck and where has that shown up in your life？ANSWER: never satisfied with what is; always seeing the dark side6/7。 where do you avoid confl audio"True spirituality does not offer answers; it inspires bigger questions。"1。 where has life， in its unfairness， stuck you， fixated you， caused you to circle back？2。 Where has life blessed you， given you a gift？ And what have you done with that gift？3。 where are you blocked by fear？4。 what is the fear beneath the fear？5。 where was your father and mother stuck and where has that shown up in your life？ANSWER: never satisfied with what is; always seeing the dark side6/7。 where do you avoid conflict8。 where are you still looking for permission to live your life？ what are you waiting for？9 where do you need to grow up？10。 where have you always felt called toward but feared to do？ does it still summon you？ 。。。more
Auntjenny
，
I pretty much underlined the entire book。
Ana Ulin
，
My notes: https://anaulin。org/blog/book-notes-f。。。 My notes: https://anaulin。org/blog/book-notes-f。。。 。。。more
NathalieB
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This book starts with an interesting introduction。 With great anticipation， I expected that at some point the author would address the core element of the book's title: "How To"。 I did not find the instruction I was looking for。 Rather， most of the book feels like the author's personal reflection on the matter， with too many references to ancient classical authors mixed with dense philosophical writing。 On a positive note， the author shows significant experience in helping people。 He offers many This book starts with an interesting introduction。 With great anticipation， I expected that at some point the author would address the core element of the book's title: "How To"。 I did not find the instruction I was looking for。 Rather， most of the book feels like the author's personal reflection on the matter， with too many references to ancient classical authors mixed with dense philosophical writing。 On a positive note， the author shows significant experience in helping people。 He offers many interesting examples。 。。。more
Scott Murray
，
I found this a challenging read。 Part of it was vocabulary - Hollis uses professional terminology， not dumbed-down consumer words。 Part of it context - I don't have a professional-level understanding of the vocabulary or the subject matter。 But mostly it was because the book spoke to me， and got me to thinking in hundreds of asides。 I found myself constantly returning to the text thinking， "ok， where was I？" I would recommend this book to anyone who is willing to risk bruising their ego to get a I found this a challenging read。 Part of it was vocabulary - Hollis uses professional terminology， not dumbed-down consumer words。 Part of it context - I don't have a professional-level understanding of the vocabulary or the subject matter。 But mostly it was because the book spoke to me， and got me to thinking in hundreds of asides。 I found myself constantly returning to the text thinking， "ok， where was I？" I would recommend this book to anyone who is willing to risk bruising their ego to get at what's really going on in the unconscious。My only complaint is that， having finished the book， I am now wondering "what's next？" That isn't necessarily a fault of the book， might not even be a fault at all。 The book was so thought-provoking， and I don't want to stop being provoked， I'm not sure I know how to sustain the effort on my own。 Just in case， I bought another of Hollis' books， Living an Examined Life， to help out。 。。。more
Evan Micheals
，