Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots
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- Create Date：2021-07-14 09:53:32
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Deborah Feldman
- ISBN：1982148209
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Summary
Now a Netflix original series！
Unorthodox is the bestselling memoir of a young Jewish woman’s escape from a religious sect， in the tradition of Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s Infidel and Carolyn Jessop’s Escape， featuring a new epilogue by the author。
As a member of the strictly religious Satmar sect of Hasidic Judaism， Deborah Feldman grew up under a code of relentlessly enforced customs governing everything from what she could wear and to whom she could speak to what she was allowed to read。 Yet in spite of her repressive upbringing， Deborah grew into an independent-minded young woman whose stolen moments reading about the empowered literary characters of Jane Austen and Louisa May Alcott helped her to imagine an alternative way of life among the skyscrapers of Manhattan。
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'Trapped as a teenager in a sexually and emotionally dysfunctional marriage to a man she barely knew， the tension between Deborah’s desires and her responsibilities as a good Satmar girl grew more explosive until she gave birth at nineteen and realized that， regardless of the obstacles， she would have to forge a path—for herself and her son—to happiness and freedom。
Remarkable and fascinating， this “sensitive and memorable coming-of-age story” （Pittsburgh Post-Gazette） is one you won’t be able to put down。
Unorthodox is the bestselling memoir of a young Jewish woman’s escape from a religious sect， in the tradition of Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s Infidel and Carolyn Jessop’s Escape， featuring a new epilogue by the author。
As a member of the strictly religious Satmar sect of Hasidic Judaism， Deborah Feldman grew up under a code of relentlessly enforced customs governing everything from what she could wear and to whom she could speak to what she was allowed to read。 Yet in spite of her repressive upbringing， Deborah grew into an independent-minded young woman whose stolen moments reading about the empowered literary characters of Jane Austen and Louisa May Alcott helped her to imagine an alternative way of life among the skyscrapers of Manhattan。
'
'Trapped as a teenager in a sexually and emotionally dysfunctional marriage to a man she barely knew， the tension between Deborah’s desires and her responsibilities as a good Satmar girl grew more explosive until she gave birth at nineteen and realized that， regardless of the obstacles， she would have to forge a path—for herself and her son—to happiness and freedom。
Remarkable and fascinating， this “sensitive and memorable coming-of-age story” （Pittsburgh Post-Gazette） is one you won’t be able to put down。
Reviews
Anna Cass
，
Unorthodox is the memoir of a woman who grew up in a strict orthodox Jewish community in NYC。 After an early marriage and becoming a teenage mom， she leaves her Hasidic community and starts a new life "on the outside。" She was born in 1986， the same year I was， which added a layer of interest for me。 I know there's also a Netflix miniseries that was （loosely？） based on this book， which I hope to watch sometime。 I enjoyed the book and loved getting a glimpse of Feldman's world。 That being said， I Unorthodox is the memoir of a woman who grew up in a strict orthodox Jewish community in NYC。 After an early marriage and becoming a teenage mom， she leaves her Hasidic community and starts a new life "on the outside。" She was born in 1986， the same year I was， which added a layer of interest for me。 I know there's also a Netflix miniseries that was （loosely？） based on this book， which I hope to watch sometime。 I enjoyed the book and loved getting a glimpse of Feldman's world。 That being said， I felt that she dwelt very heavily and repetitively on certain aspects of growing up， while skimming over parts of her later story that could have benefitted from more explanation。 This is very much a memoir of her life *in* the Hasidic community， not of leaving it or starting over。 I think if that had been more clear to me from the outset， then I wouldn't feel as disappointed about all my unaswered questions regarding her break with family and community。 But still， well worth the read -- I'm always fascinated by self-contained communities that don't mix with or assimilate into the outside world！ 。。。more
Lara
，
habe viel über diese verschlossene religion gelernt- empfand es persönlich als sehr bedrückend， aber auch hochinteressant
Missy
，
Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots is very exciting and definitely not the common tale。
Alyse
，
If you’re reading this book like I was because you’ve seen the Netflix series， you will probably be surprised by just how different the real story is。 The main idea of escaping the ultra orthodox Satmar community is the same， but that is about it， besides for some details。 I found the book quite interesting， but I feel like I didn’t get the whole story of what happened。 I had more questions than answers after finishing the book， but that just may be because the author could not say any more in o If you’re reading this book like I was because you’ve seen the Netflix series， you will probably be surprised by just how different the real story is。 The main idea of escaping the ultra orthodox Satmar community is the same， but that is about it， besides for some details。 I found the book quite interesting， but I feel like I didn’t get the whole story of what happened。 I had more questions than answers after finishing the book， but that just may be because the author could not say any more in order to protect herself and her child。 。。。more
Heather
，
Absolutely fantastic。 Highly recommend。 Hope to hear more from this author as she grows in her life without religion。
Sammy
，
Great and catching story about Emanzipation and religious identity。 Had little struggles to get into it in the beginning （read it in german）。 But half through the book i couldn’t stop because I was so curious about what happens next in her life。 4 stars because I somehow find it kinda hard to get into a „reading flow“ but still a book worth to read！
Lauren Talevski
，
I can’t form the words to explain how I feel
Cristina
，
Book club selection。 I wanted to find out more about the author’s mother。 It was mentioned that her mother was in a documentary。 From my research， it appears that Feldman left out many details （her mother left when she was a teen and she had a sister）。 I began to think this “memoir” might have the same problems that “A Million Little Pieces” did。
Jurga
，
3，5⭐️
Stephanie
，
A beautifully written very raw and authentic memoir。
Brittany Watson
，
This book almost needs a sequel。 It’s full of interesting information but no real perspective because it was written too close to her leaving her community for it to be reflective。 Still a good read。
Sandra
，
Fascinating look into a secretive， tight-knit world of Hasidic Jews in New York。 It's a community that's steeped in tradition but is also oppressive， especially towards its women。 Leaving such a community is difficult because those who are raised in it aren't equipped with the social or educational tools to thrive in the outside world。 The author's father is mentally handicapped and her mother left the Hasidic community， so she lived with her grandparents。 Always feeling like an outsider was dif Fascinating look into a secretive， tight-knit world of Hasidic Jews in New York。 It's a community that's steeped in tradition but is also oppressive， especially towards its women。 Leaving such a community is difficult because those who are raised in it aren't equipped with the social or educational tools to thrive in the outside world。 The author's father is mentally handicapped and her mother left the Hasidic community， so she lived with her grandparents。 Always feeling like an outsider was difficult for her growing up but appears to have made it easier for her to break ties with the only family and friends she'd ever known。 She had a thirst for knowledge and books， often sneaking secular ones into her home， and of course this also helped her make her escape because she was able to write this memoir。 But the story felt unfinished to me。 Seemed rushed at the end， with a lot of questions unanswered about what the ramifications were when she chose to abandon the Hasidic community she grew up in。 The book is called "The Scandalous Rejection of my Hasidic Roots" but there's very little time devoted to how she actually left。 And frankly， in some ways the author seemed self-centered -- it's all about her particular experience， but she never mentions at all how the grandparents who raised her and loved her were affected by her decision to leave。 Or the relationship she had with her mother， another Hasidic refugee。 She also doesn't talk much about the actual end to her marriage and getting custody of her son。 It was an unsatisfying conclusion。 In addition， I know there is controversy around the book and some have accused Feldman of fabricating some of the content。 I haven't done a lot of research on this and choose to give her the benefit of the doubt。 。。。more
Bracey
，
Like many others who have read Unorthodox， I did so after seeing the Netflix series。 If you have not seen the movie， take some time to watch it – it was excellent。 To say that I was intrigued to read the books is an understatement。 I was so curious to know more that I bought the book immediately。 I also live in Brooklyn NY and I’m very familiar with the Williamsburg area， it’s the epicenter of the strict Satmar Hasidic community。 In some respects， when you drive through their neighborhoods， you Like many others who have read Unorthodox， I did so after seeing the Netflix series。 If you have not seen the movie， take some time to watch it – it was excellent。 To say that I was intrigued to read the books is an understatement。 I was so curious to know more that I bought the book immediately。 I also live in Brooklyn NY and I’m very familiar with the Williamsburg area， it’s the epicenter of the strict Satmar Hasidic community。 In some respects， when you drive through their neighborhoods， you think you are in a totally different country。 Hasidic Satmar Jews notwithstanding， there are differences between the movie and what Feldman has written in her book。 I’ll leave the details of the differences out of this review for obvious reasons。Unorthodox intrigued me because it gave me a glimpse into what people are thinking who feel trapped in an insulated community that refuses to reach out and or conform with cultural modernity。 It is incredible to think that a girl can grow up in Brooklyn NY in the 21st century and yet be so cut off from mainstream society， with literally little to no choice or say in the life that awaits her as a married woman。 I had heard of these things happening in real life to but to see them depicted in a movie was eye opening。 I’ve known people who have escaped cults and who have described the fear and brainwashing by others。 It causes so much personal damage and unhappiness， especially in relationships with loved ones。 Some Yiddish references within the book were tricky to read as I’m not familiar with the language but I did a little extra work utilizing Google and it added to the whole atmosphere and authenticity of the story。 It many respects it let me undertand a little more of this world which I see a few days a week。 The motivation of the Hasidic community is made clear the onset of the book when you understand that their existence， aside from seeking to please God and stay clear of judgments， is to replenish the Jewish population which was lost during the holocaust。 The way the Jewish culture employs Kabbalah was something I did not expect and was thoroughly surprised。 She also does not hold back in her descriptions of both her parents， as well as her grandparents。 The story is fascinating and my hope is that you will enjoy reading the book。 。。。more
leidi
，
Después de meses que no pude retomar la lectura， me alegra haber vuelto con este libro。 Fue literalmente una experiencia， porque al basarse en vivencias era como estar dentro de la historia y vivir todo a flor de piel junto con la protagonista。Este tema de las religiones y sus bases tan rígidas y poco modernas siempre me llamaron la atención por la reflexión que me da y como me ayuda a encontrar estos baches en el mundo donde uno se queda desconcertado。 El tema del feminismo se ve muy alimentado Después de meses que no pude retomar la lectura， me alegra haber vuelto con este libro。 Fue literalmente una experiencia， porque al basarse en vivencias era como estar dentro de la historia y vivir todo a flor de piel junto con la protagonista。Este tema de las religiones y sus bases tan rígidas y poco modernas siempre me llamaron la atención por la reflexión que me da y como me ayuda a encontrar estos baches en el mundo donde uno se queda desconcertado。 El tema del feminismo se ve muy alimentado y me inunda de alegría la valentía de esta mujer al dejar toda su vida atrás por la búsqueda de la libertad。 También es súper destacable la función de estas biografías en cuanto a la desmantelacion de sectas y regímenes que lo único que hacen es someter a sus devotos y privarlos de cualquier tipo de derecho。 Déborah encuentra en la escritura un descargo， e indirectamente revela todos los secretos de esta comunidad tan opresiva。En conclusión， lo ame y disfruté de principio a fin， recomendadisimo。 。。。more
Reese
，
Captivating -- at times。 Disturbing -- at times， very disturbing。 Believable， but not entirely。 I gave it 3 stars because I just couldn't round up a 3。5。 Captivating -- at times。 Disturbing -- at times， very disturbing。 Believable， but not entirely。 I gave it 3 stars because I just couldn't round up a 3。5。 。。。more
Eugenia Izar
，
This book gave me so much knowledge about how little we know about traditions， culture， feminism in other religions Some people will say that this isn’t a feminist book， but I differ It’s a real story about a woman who was trapped in a reality that she was thought， but wasn’t true。 It truly amazes me how she managed to do so much though out the story
Nathaly
，
Celá recenzia https://nathalys-reading。blogspot。com。。。Musím sa priznať， že od tejto novinky som očakávala menej。 Doteraz ani sama netuším， prečo som ju tak veľmi podceňovala。 No možno to bolo na niečo dobré， lebo kniha mohla v mojich očiach iba stúpať。 A to sa aj udialo。 Od prvej stránky som vedela， že toto je dielo， ktoré otvára oči a má hodnotu。 Nie je to ufňukaná spoveď ženy， je to denník hrdinky。。。 Celá recenzia https://nathalys-reading。blogspot。com。。。Musím sa priznať， že od tejto novinky som očakávala menej。 Doteraz ani sama netuším， prečo som ju tak veľmi podceňovala。 No možno to bolo na niečo dobré， lebo kniha mohla v mojich očiach iba stúpať。 A to sa aj udialo。 Od prvej stránky som vedela， že toto je dielo， ktoré otvára oči a má hodnotu。 Nie je to ufňukaná spoveď ženy， je to denník hrdinky。。。 。。。more
Sharon
，
I watched Unorthodox on Netflix and thought that the story would be pretty similar to the book and would have more details of her circumstances。 The book is very different from the story on Netflix， there were a few common themes but it is essentially not the same story。 She doesn't go to music school in Germany。 I'm unsure if the book was a quick read or if I was eager to read it and got through quickly。 I found her strength inspiring as there is so much pressure growing up in a Hassidic com I watched Unorthodox on Netflix and thought that the story would be pretty similar to the book and would have more details of her circumstances。 The book is very different from the story on Netflix， there were a few common themes but it is essentially not the same story。 She doesn't go to music school in Germany。 I'm unsure if the book was a quick read or if I was eager to read it and got through quickly。 I found her strength inspiring as there is so much pressure growing up in a Hassidic community that would have been dealing with and very few opportunities to question things。 What she described to me in this Hassidic community didn't surprise me as I grew up attending jewish day schools and had a more secular jewish upbringing so I was familiar with some of the expectations that are placed on Orthodox women。 Her story leaves me wanting to learn more and know more about her life now。 I hope she's been able to create a wonderful new circle of family and friends。 I hope she's been able to create a nice connection with her mom。Although the memoir is about leaving a Hasidic sect it's a story of a woman empowering herself and building her own life， finding her identity， and having the freedom to make choices independently of her community。 。。。more
Vaida VK
，
Man sunku pačiai patikėti， bet serialas patiko labiau。
Jocelyn
，
Would give this book 4。5 stars if I could - took a bit to get into but once I did was totally absorbed in her world。
Swantje P
，
A must read！
Perry Kay
，
As someone who grew up in the same community as the author， Deborah Feldman; this book touched my heart。 I'm not a crier but I cried along with the main character。 This book is about Deborah's story。 This is not the story of every Ultra-Orthodox Jew， but it is her story and it is my story。 I too was pushed into an arranged marriage at the age of 18 and could relate to the character's pain so much。 Deborah does a really good job of portraying what the Orthodox life was and how it shaped her。 I am As someone who grew up in the same community as the author， Deborah Feldman; this book touched my heart。 I'm not a crier but I cried along with the main character。 This book is about Deborah's story。 This is not the story of every Ultra-Orthodox Jew， but it is her story and it is my story。 I too was pushed into an arranged marriage at the age of 18 and could relate to the character's pain so much。 Deborah does a really good job of portraying what the Orthodox life was and how it shaped her。 I am so proud of her and how far she comes。 My dream is to publish my story as well。 Deborah speaks for so many who can't speak for themselves right now because they are still stuck there。 It is important to point out that although the book portrays the community in a certain way， not everyone living there is miserable。 Some people are truly content with that lifestyle， but the ones like Deborah and me who seek more can't stay with the unanswered questions。 I highly recommend to anyone interested in other cultures， lifestyle， human psychology。 。。。more
Karen
，
I didn’t know anything about this culture when I saw the show， and the book gave so many more interesting details about what life might be like a a girl growing up in this community。 Fascinating！
Tiantian
，
It is very interesting to read about the Hasidic community。 I had never heard of the language Yiddish and I hardly knew anything about Jewish traditions。 Deborah was very detailed about her upbringing and marriage， yet the ending also felt very rushed。
Audra Girija
，
Jei knygos galėtų paskiepyti nuo kitų žmonių žalojimo bet kurios religijos vardu - būtų nuostabu。 Knyga， tikriausiai ir serialas， turi išlaisvinančią ir gydančią galia， ir， manau， ne tik autorei。 Džiaugiuosi， kad perskaičiau。 Gerai， kad Deborah Feldman ją rašė būdama， kaip pati sako， pereinamoje būsenoje， nelaukdama， kol viskas susiklostys ir kol ji "išmoks" rašyti knygas。 Man patiko knyga， nors negali sakyti， kad joje būtų pateikiama daug detalių apie išėjimą iš bendruomenės。 Bet detalių， kurio Jei knygos galėtų paskiepyti nuo kitų žmonių žalojimo bet kurios religijos vardu - būtų nuostabu。 Knyga， tikriausiai ir serialas， turi išlaisvinančią ir gydančią galia， ir， manau， ne tik autorei。 Džiaugiuosi， kad perskaičiau。 Gerai， kad Deborah Feldman ją rašė būdama， kaip pati sako， pereinamoje būsenoje， nelaukdama， kol viskas susiklostys ir kol ji "išmoks" rašyti knygas。 Man patiko knyga， nors negali sakyti， kad joje būtų pateikiama daug detalių apie išėjimą iš bendruomenės。 Bet detalių， kurios pateikiamos apie gyvenimą joje， pakanka， kad ir skaitant apimtų noras pabėgti。 Man patiko baigiamasis žodis。 "Nusikračiusi senosios savęs， po ja neaptikau autentiškesnės savo versijos。 Kai išsibrauki iš lygtolinio gyvenimo， lieka nedaug。 Prireikė dešimtmečių， kad iš naujo perkurčiau save ir savo būtį， ir jei kas būtų pasakęs， kaip bus sunku， greičiausiai nebūčiau ryžusis"。 Geriau ryžtis anksčiau， nei vėliau。 。。。more
Marie
，
3，5 - 4⭐
Celeste
，
I enjoyed every page of this book。
Sof Islas
，
I must be honest， I only read this book because of the series。 The series was impactful and shocking， not only because of the natural morbid curiosity， but because it showed quite beautifully how shocking can be a new world。 However， the book isn't just continuously interesting， but very touching。 You can feel the author growing as a person， and at the same time trying to see the world from her perspective。 I am not a religious person， so this became something new and amazing to read。 It's enrag I must be honest， I only read this book because of the series。 The series was impactful and shocking， not only because of the natural morbid curiosity， but because it showed quite beautifully how shocking can be a new world。 However， the book isn't just continuously interesting， but very touching。 You can feel the author growing as a person， and at the same time trying to see the world from her perspective。 I am not a religious person， so this became something new and amazing to read。 It's enraging how hermetic can a group of people be， and that is something many others can feel without being specifically Hasidic。 Finally， I would like to say that， for someone who isn't a professional writer， the way the author can share things and make the reader to feel them is just astounding。 All in all， I liked it very much <3 。。。more
Renae
，
There were a couple things for me that didn't hit the nail including the long chapters that I wish were shorter and a need for further explanation of some Yiddish words Deborah uses， but overall， I cannot fault the story。 The afterward completely sums it up; for Deborah to write such a raw and honest account， having not even been allowed to read growing up is an amazing achievement and her efforts are overwhelming admirable。 There were a couple things for me that didn't hit the nail including the long chapters that I wish were shorter and a need for further explanation of some Yiddish words Deborah uses， but overall， I cannot fault the story。 The afterward completely sums it up; for Deborah to write such a raw and honest account， having not even been allowed to read growing up is an amazing achievement and her efforts are overwhelming admirable。 。。。more
Anagha
，