Exodus: A Memoir

Exodus: A Memoir

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  • Create Date:2021-07-14 09:53:41
  • Update Date:2025-09-06
  • Status:finish
  • Author:Deborah Feldman
  • ISBN:0142181854
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Summary

The author of the explosive New York Times-bestselling memoir Unorthodox chronicles her continuing journey as a single mother, an independent woman, and a religious refugee。
 
In 2009, at the age of twenty-three, Deborah Feldman walked away from the rampant oppression, abuse, and isolation of her Satmar upbringing in Williamsburg, Brooklyn to forge a better life for herself and her young son。  Since leaving, Feldman has navigated remarkable experiences: raising her son in the “real” world, finding solace and solitude in a writing career, and searching for love。 Culminating in an unforgettable trip across Europe to retrace her grandmother’s life during the Holocaust, Exodus is a deeply moving exploration of the mysterious bonds that tie us to family and religion, the bonds we must sometimes break to find our true selves。

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Reviews

Christiane

Es war durchgehend absolut spannend, diese Erzählung zu lesen。 Sie ist sehr detailliert und dadurch sehr bildlich geschrieben。 Ich mochte sehr diese rationale, sehr reflektierte Art, alles zu sezieren, aber trotzdem Platz zu lassen für irrationale Gefühle。 Genau so fesselnd wie Deborah Feldman spricht - in ihrer ganz eigenen, befreiten Denkweise - so schreibt sie auch - was sehr inspirierend ist。 Ich hätte gern noch weitere 500 Seiten gelesen。

Robinannie

This is a truly dreadful follow-up to a gripping debut memoir。 Where Unorthodox was thoughtful and pithy, Exodus is scattered and self-indulgent。 It reads less like a memoir than a personal diary。

Julie Havener

She is a great writer and I like her style as it is readable and real。 Sometimes it is a bit raw but so were the struggles。 Not for children but the story should be read as it once again reminds you that we never know what someone has lived through and what they carry even now。

Victoria Otero

3。5 stars rounded up to 4。 Exodus is a story about the ways we discover and craft our identity when we realize that our old life doesn’t serve us anymore。 Unlike Unorthodox, this book focuses less on stories about Feldman’s time in the Satmar Jewish Community and more on her journey to understanding who she is without the framework of religion to define every aspect of her life。 I enjoyed her stories about visiting a shaman, speaking with artists, and talking to Jews and non-Jews alike。 So much 3。5 stars rounded up to 4。 Exodus is a story about the ways we discover and craft our identity when we realize that our old life doesn’t serve us anymore。 Unlike Unorthodox, this book focuses less on stories about Feldman’s time in the Satmar Jewish Community and more on her journey to understanding who she is without the framework of religion to define every aspect of her life。 I enjoyed her stories about visiting a shaman, speaking with artists, and talking to Jews and non-Jews alike。 So much of the story was about the negotiation between having an identity that is wholly defined by your religion and culture vs。 the discovery and subsequent work of trying to figure out who you want to be outside of the influence of religion and culture。 Her journey through deconstruction is something I found relatable。 I know some people didn’t enjoy this book, and I think that might stem from how jarring the non-linear narrative can feel at times。 I found myself unsure of what events preceded others, whereas this was much easier to track in Unorthodox。 The nuances of deconstruction don’t have the same immediate appeal as gawking at someone living such a rigid and unique life, but I think there is just as much to be gained from this part of the story。 The true issue is that this book doesn’t feel as tidy as Unorthodox。 This may be because part of that book was written while Feldman was studying at university, so she was able to get feedback and work on it。 Another possibility, which I find more likely, is that Unorthodox was written with no expectation for a sister sequel。 It was only after the first book exploded that the second book deal was offered, and a new path needed to be forged。 I enjoyed this book, but it was different than I expected。 I think readers going in with an expectation of what they’ll see and hear based on the first book are setting themselves up for disappointment, but if they go in with an open mind, it’s enjoyable! 。。。more

Melissa

I had mixed feelings about this book。 I really didn't care for the author at first, the way she described herself as a person。 Eventually I realized, she has been through some $h!t, and its molded her as a person。 She seems to hate the religion she came from, but also feel protective of it。 Its almost like Stockholm syndrome。 Admittedly, I was completely unaware of the hate that still exists between Germans and Jews in some areas of the world。 I was shocked to read some of what I did。 It was hea I had mixed feelings about this book。 I really didn't care for the author at first, the way she described herself as a person。 Eventually I realized, she has been through some $h!t, and its molded her as a person。 She seems to hate the religion she came from, but also feel protective of it。 Its almost like Stockholm syndrome。 Admittedly, I was completely unaware of the hate that still exists between Germans and Jews in some areas of the world。 I was shocked to read some of what I did。 It was heartbreaking, and much like the racial issues occurring in the US- still very much a problem in Europe。 Regardless of my liking of the book, it was certainly an eye opener。 。。。more

Kris Livingston

I read this as a follow-up to Unorthodox。 I enjoyed the author exploration of what it means to belong as she explores her identity after leaving her Orthodox neighborhood and family。 Sometimes she gives too much information about her personal life。I most enjoyed the sections where she looks to find her grandmother's roots in Hungary。 She is shocked at how few remnants of Jewish life remain in the European cities she visits。 It feels very personal。 The Holocaust is a very real part of her upbring I read this as a follow-up to Unorthodox。 I enjoyed the author exploration of what it means to belong as she explores her identity after leaving her Orthodox neighborhood and family。 Sometimes she gives too much information about her personal life。I most enjoyed the sections where she looks to find her grandmother's roots in Hungary。 She is shocked at how few remnants of Jewish life remain in the European cities she visits。 It feels very personal。 The Holocaust is a very real part of her upbringing and heritage。It interests me that her grandparents chose to join the Hasidic community when they came to America。 It was not a part of their background。 In fact Hasidism is an American invention, not an exact return to European forms of the faith。 。。。more

Benjamin Farr

A very disappointing follow up to Unorthodox。

Betsy

Once again, I have learned so much from Deborah Feldman's book。 Recently, I read Unorthodox, which gave me details about the Hassidic community I would have had no other way of knowing。 This book is a continuation of her memoir in that it outlines the process of her "assimilation" to the world outside of Williamsburg and exploration of what that life means。 Feldman spends a lot of time talking about exploring the Jewish communities - or remnants of them - in Europe and what that means to her, as Once again, I have learned so much from Deborah Feldman's book。 Recently, I read Unorthodox, which gave me details about the Hassidic community I would have had no other way of knowing。 This book is a continuation of her memoir in that it outlines the process of her "assimilation" to the world outside of Williamsburg and exploration of what that life means。 Feldman spends a lot of time talking about exploring the Jewish communities - or remnants of them - in Europe and what that means to her, as well as the anti-Semitism she finds in many parts of Europe。 That is sad - and revealing to me, as I would never have guessed that to be the case。She also describes her "coming out" as a modern, cosmopolitan person, with new relationships she has explored, and the mistakes and fears that accompany them。 It seems as if Feldman, in exploring her roots, is overreacting to the history of the Holocaust - and yet I don't know how anyone describes a response as an overreaction。 I guess I think her reactions will create problems for her in the future - but who am I to make this judgment? Anyway, I found her responses fascinating - and I learned a lot。 I really appreciate Feldman's honesty and the insight she provides into her experiencces。 。。。more

Pdxstacey

This book reminded me of a less interesting version of Fear of Flying by Erica Jong。 I thought this might have been an accident, but the author waits until the end to humble brag that she was at a writer's dinner with Erica Jong。 Deborah sounds exhausting。 Maybe she uses her memoir as a diary and isn't as irritating in real life。 This book reminded me of a less interesting version of Fear of Flying by Erica Jong。 I thought this might have been an accident, but the author waits until the end to humble brag that she was at a writer's dinner with Erica Jong。 Deborah sounds exhausting。 Maybe she uses her memoir as a diary and isn't as irritating in real life。 。。。more

Cmw

Listened to the author narrate this which, despite only a handful of mispronounced English words, she did really well 。。。。 and I’m usually not a fan of authors narrating their own books。 Reread Unorthodox, watched the Netflix series and a few other Items for background in prep for a second book club discussing Unorthodox。 I am very fascinated by Deborah Feldman’s courage, kutzpah, intellect and curiosity amid such seemingly unsurmountable obstacles。 I think Exodus wrapped up a lot of my curiosit Listened to the author narrate this which, despite only a handful of mispronounced English words, she did really well 。。。。 and I’m usually not a fan of authors narrating their own books。 Reread Unorthodox, watched the Netflix series and a few other Items for background in prep for a second book club discussing Unorthodox。 I am very fascinated by Deborah Feldman’s courage, kutzpah, intellect and curiosity amid such seemingly unsurmountable obstacles。 I think Exodus wrapped up a lot of my curiosity about “what happened next” and gave some insight into how her transition to a new life went, though there are still many unanswered questions。 I think we have to afford her privacy however, as having this much publicity and success has earned her that going forward。 。。。more

Mw Moses

Ebook - meh - unorthodox was better - maybe she got a two book contract。

Catherine Bean

A story of her attempt to find where 'home' was - where she belonged and felt safe - after leaving the Satmar community in New York and being thrust all alone as a young single Mom into a very foreign American society。 It depicts her travels through America and back to Hungary, Sweden and Germany as she tries to find her roots through the life of her grandmother who was left stateless after WW2。 She may have broken from her orthodox community but she remains a Jew - and holds all that that means A story of her attempt to find where 'home' was - where she belonged and felt safe - after leaving the Satmar community in New York and being thrust all alone as a young single Mom into a very foreign American society。 It depicts her travels through America and back to Hungary, Sweden and Germany as she tries to find her roots through the life of her grandmother who was left stateless after WW2。 She may have broken from her orthodox community but she remains a Jew - and holds all that that means within her and in everything that she does。 。。。more

Jessica Larsen

Interesting follow up to Unorthodox, but it was more stream of consciousness in structure than what I had imagined it to be。 Definitely not a chronological memoir but had some powerful parts about her life after leaving her family and religious community。

Allison

Feldman is not just a flash in the pan。 In this, her second memoir, Deborah Feldman continues to open doors inside herself and discover scabs to peel back from wounds she didn't realize were there。 She does this with an open mind and heart devoid of the arrogance seen so often in modern retellings of self-discovery。I feel a lot of admiration for this young woman who is half my age because while we both we single mothers recovering from traumatic relationships, she appears to have allowed her own Feldman is not just a flash in the pan。 In this, her second memoir, Deborah Feldman continues to open doors inside herself and discover scabs to peel back from wounds she didn't realize were there。 She does this with an open mind and heart devoid of the arrogance seen so often in modern retellings of self-discovery。I feel a lot of admiration for this young woman who is half my age because while we both we single mothers recovering from traumatic relationships, she appears to have allowed her own self-exploration and healing journeys to have at least as important a role in her life as raising her child。 While I, on the otherhand, have shuttled back and forth with my focus alternating between putting my kids first or myself depending on who was in the most desperate need of tending too。My children are now in their 20s and I have many regrets about things in their childhood experience that I could have done differently。 If I'd been more proactive about my own physical and mental health (and financial health as well), I sincerely believe we would've experienced a lot less running from fire to fire dealing with crises。 And, I truly believe we would have had a lot more healthy good times to look back on。I look forward to reading what Feldman produces in the future。 I haven't enjoyed a multi-volume memoir by an author this much since Frank McCourt。 。。。more

Anne Slater

Having read Unorthodox, I was eager to discover the next part of Feldman's story。 Kudos for not dragging her son into the story more than was necessary。The to-the-point, the "how I emerged from the shell that I had been cloaked in" parts of the book are fascinating, especially the revelatory psychological explorations and discoveries。 I even see how important her sexual explorations were, but they were repetitive and went over the top。 I skimmed much of the last third of the book。 She should hav Having read Unorthodox, I was eager to discover the next part of Feldman's story。 Kudos for not dragging her son into the story more than was necessary。The to-the-point, the "how I emerged from the shell that I had been cloaked in" parts of the book are fascinating, especially the revelatory psychological explorations and discoveries。 I even see how important her sexual explorations were, but they were repetitive and went over the top。 I skimmed much of the last third of the book。 She should have waited until she was 40 to write this part。 I'm no prude-- I just found it uninteresting。 。。。more

Sandy Arnold

Neue Perspektiven auf die Welt wie wir glauben sie zu kennen。 Und ein Land das wir nicht sein wollen und uns doch nicht Trennen können von unserer Realität。

Leib Mitchell

A Portrait of The Mental Patient As A Young WomanReviewed in the United States on June 7, 2020This book was not as good as "Unorthodox。"If I had to think of a combination of words to describe this book, it would be: delayed bildungsroman / cross-country self discovery/ cross-continent trip。The author retraces her grandmother's early life in Europe, from the time that she was ejected from Hungary and ended up working in Sweden before her move to the United States。It's interesting that even though A Portrait of The Mental Patient As A Young WomanReviewed in the United States on June 7, 2020This book was not as good as "Unorthodox。"If I had to think of a combination of words to describe this book, it would be: delayed bildungsroman / cross-country self discovery/ cross-continent trip。The author retraces her grandmother's early life in Europe, from the time that she was ejected from Hungary and ended up working in Sweden before her move to the United States。It's interesting that even though the Satmar community is a snapshot in time *as the Satmar imagined it* from a couple of hundred years ago in Hungary, their notions may have been。。。。。 idealizedThere are so many places and types of people in themes, that the whole book takes on a phantasmagoric quality。She might have one or two good turns of phrase in here, but nothing particularly memorable。Ironically, she also references Another Insane Jewish Woman who wrote a book that was turned into a movie。 ("Girl, Interrupted, by Susanna Kaysen。)What do I myself learn from this?Many things:1。 As much as some converts might romanticize Satmar (I myself once did), living in that dynasty is not a good option for anybody who is a convert, or even born Jewish but returns to the faith later in life。 (p。119)2。 Too much of anything is not good。a。 This girl could have survived just fine in a Centrist / Modern Orthodox context, but because she was so soured by her experiences with Satmar she went off the deep end。b。 (p。176) Some Orthodox view the laws of family purity (things that women must do while they are menstruating and how to come out of that state) as a tradition, and something that must be handled in a matter-of-fact way。 Others go off the deep end and imagine that women are filthy and contaminated during that time。The end result is there somebody like Feldman rebelled by having people paint her menstruating muff。 (Yeesh!)3。 If you are on the journey to be free from an unwanted self, you will find many other people in the same situation on your journey。 Among the more interesting of MANY who had rejected their last lives: (p。119) Feldman found a Southern Hick from a devoutly Christian family who converted to become Ultra-Orthodox and yet would not accept a Jewish wife who was Baal Teshuva。 (And thereby wasting many years without a spouse because most people who were frum from birth would not accept him。)4。 If you don't know who you are, it's probably a lot more trouble than it's worth to find out。 (p。 181): "It struck me as strange that this fetishisizing of my Jewishness felt no different when it was positive than when it came in the form of ignorance and anti-semitism。 Everyone wanted to me by my Jewishness, while I struggled to defend myself outside of it。"But then, just 12 pages earlier (p。 169) "And I walked out of that shop with that star on my neck。。。。。。 I was Jewish。 My roots were right here。" (Spain?!?!?!)Once you have worked out a logically consistent notion of your identity, what good does it do you?Can your relation to reality be changed based on the way that you define yourself?Is the car note / house note/light bill due any later then it otherwise would be?5。 Depending on the way you count, the United States is either the first or second largest Jewish country in the world。And yet, very few people have actually met a traditionally practicing Jew。And in many of these places that Feldman went on her cross-country trip, people looked at her in the same way they would a unicorn。6。 Some people (like our author!!!!) just cannot/WILL NOT be happy anywhere。--She didn't like her family because they were too cloying/Haredi, and so she had to run away from them。--She left New York, and therefore passed over a bunch of Centrist Orthodox / non-Orthodox synagogues and communities。--Then she traveled all across the United States (over 9 million square miles) and she couldn't find a particular place that she wanted to settle。--She traveled all around Europe Beating On Old Graves and trying to reconstruct the life of a dead relative。 (Somehow, she wanted to assert her identity as a Jew there when she could just as easily have stayed in New York or any of these other outlying Jewish communities and done it there equally well。)--Then, she moved to Germany。 (And with the Muslim / Arab infestation there, I don't think that that is necessarily the safest place for her)--She passed over any number of other men in her treadmill of relationships order to find an alcoholic and a German who was descended from Nazis。 (Keep in mind at the time this was written she was about 23 years old, and not bad looking。)7。 I had never known that there was a such thing as an "unhappy vagina" until the author introduced us to hers (p。209--it was also "irascible" and "mutinous。")8。 A desire to go to a naturopathic doctor is a sign that you need to visit a psychiatrist。Verdict: This meandering, discursive book takes about 3。5-4 hours to read (every bit of 286 pages of a woman blathering on about "finding herself"), which is just enough to finish it over a Shabbat and get started on something else。Really, the only thing that saves this book is that it doesn't take too much time。 I don't think this will be worth a reread, and that's because it really wasn't worth a first read。 。。。more

Alaine

This sequel to Unorthodox read like a series of essays, more or less。 In the years after leaving the Satmar sect of Hasidim, Deborah explores life outside these parameters。 While parts of the book fell flat, I most enjoyed learning about her Hungarian grandmother。 Deborah realizes, beyond her previous faith there are different ways to worship/express Judaism。 I believe there is a new book coming out soon, an extension of this book。

Emily

Audio book, read by the author in a sort of monotone, run-on delivery。 She does great accents, though。 Feldman's first book, "Unorthodox", was so interesting that this one was anti-climactic。 There was a lot of wandering about as she tried to define herself。 It was interesting that she sought herself by seeking out her ancestral home even as she distanced herself from her orthodox background。 I learned way too much about her sexual dysfunction。 It seemed pretty self-absorbed。 But I guess that's Audio book, read by the author in a sort of monotone, run-on delivery。 She does great accents, though。 Feldman's first book, "Unorthodox", was so interesting that this one was anti-climactic。 There was a lot of wandering about as she tried to define herself。 It was interesting that she sought herself by seeking out her ancestral home even as she distanced herself from her orthodox background。 I learned way too much about her sexual dysfunction。 It seemed pretty self-absorbed。 But I guess that's what a journey to find yourself leads to。 。。。more

Juicy_Groot

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it, click here。 Big fan of Unorthodox。 This one? Not so much。This book reads like a series of blog posts and isn't very organized。 Truthfully, I feel like all of her 'self discovery' adventures (besides delving into her grandmother's past) were done simply to write a book。 I really couldn't get into it because,aside from tracing her grandmother's steps through Europe,everything else is so sterotypical。 On her cross country road trip, just about everyone she meets is a painful stereotype of the area she's travel Big fan of Unorthodox。 This one? Not so much。This book reads like a series of blog posts and isn't very organized。 Truthfully, I feel like all of her 'self discovery' adventures (besides delving into her grandmother's past) were done simply to write a book。 I really couldn't get into it because,aside from tracing her grandmother's steps through Europe,everything else is so sterotypical。 On her cross country road trip, just about everyone she meets is a painful stereotype of the area she's traveling through。Tried so hard to like this book because I admire/support women who escape situations like her's, but this book fell flat。 。。。more

Danielle

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it, click here。 By

Toby Philpott

The Next EpisodeThis book is the sequel to Feldman's first book "Unorthodox" which told the tale of her leaving the Satmar Hasidic Jewish community in Williamsburg, New York。 This book fills in a few more details about her ill-starred marriage and its inevitable collapse。 It also is incredibly open about the psychological and physical issues that confronted Deborah and some of her subsequent relationships。 The part where she travels through various places in Europe tracing her Grandmother's stor The Next EpisodeThis book is the sequel to Feldman's first book "Unorthodox" which told the tale of her leaving the Satmar Hasidic Jewish community in Williamsburg, New York。 This book fills in a few more details about her ill-starred marriage and its inevitable collapse。 It also is incredibly open about the psychological and physical issues that confronted Deborah and some of her subsequent relationships。 The part where she travels through various places in Europe tracing her Grandmother's story is fascinating, as is how she becomes intertwined with controversial artist Odd Nedrun。 The book ends with her on the cusp of leaving the United States。 I imagine that the next autobiographical episode will deal with her relocation to Berlin, where she now lives。She was only 27 when this book ended but somehow she has achieved much more than many of us almost twice her age have achieved。 Her levels of self-awareness and capacity for introspection are incredible。 I'm very much looking forward to reading her books in the future and I highly recommend this sequel to "Unorthodox"。 。。。more

Amy Rosen

I was so excited to read this book。 I loved her first one and the Netflix series。 This was very hard to follow and gave details at odd places。 It bounced around a lot and I couldn’t keep up。 I put it down twice, but did finish it。

Svenja

Still a good book, but lengthy at times。

Janine

Eher unnötig。 Der erste Teil reicht vollkommen aus。

Cosima Reiland

Its just just amaizing! I LOVE IT!!!thanks for this great book。

Brooke

"Unorthodox" is fascinating and well-written。 "Exodus" is。。。not。 I have so many questions, and none of them were answered here。 After Feldman leaves her Hasidic life, how does she survive? She talks about how totally broke she is。 At one point, she has to sell her ova in desperation。 And yet she is tromping around the US and Europe trying to find herself。 How can she possibly afford all that? And where is her son this whole time? The Hasidic community does not grant religious divorces and do wha "Unorthodox" is fascinating and well-written。 "Exodus" is。。。not。 I have so many questions, and none of them were answered here。 After Feldman leaves her Hasidic life, how does she survive? She talks about how totally broke she is。 At one point, she has to sell her ova in desperation。 And yet she is tromping around the US and Europe trying to find herself。 How can she possibly afford all that? And where is her son this whole time? The Hasidic community does not grant religious divorces and do whatever they can to get their children to stay within the community if one parent leaves。 I can't believe that she would just be dropping this kid off with his Hasidic dad every time she wanted a long weekend in New Orleans to visit a boyfriend。 And speaking of boyfriends, there is a scene where she role-plays "Nazi soldier and Jewish girl he found on the street" with a boyfriend。 I'll just leave that right there。。。The capper is that the timeline is nonlinear and confusing。 。。。more

Denise

Good book but in badly in need of an editorI wanted to read this so badly because I feel as if I can relate to Deborah so well。 I come from an ethnic Italian community albeit not as closed as hers。 Her journey to discover herself is so worth reading, but I wish she’d offered the nuts and bolts of how she went from point A to point D。 She does little of that and offers only esoteric, not pragmatic information。 It’s hard to follow her story at all because she weaves back and forth in time and hone Good book but in badly in need of an editorI wanted to read this so badly because I feel as if I can relate to Deborah so well。 I come from an ethnic Italian community albeit not as closed as hers。 Her journey to discover herself is so worth reading, but I wish she’d offered the nuts and bolts of how she went from point A to point D。 She does little of that and offers only esoteric, not pragmatic information。 It’s hard to follow her story at all because she weaves back and forth in time and honestly, it’s somewhat hard to believe because you’re left without the ability to understand it。 Connecting the dots somewhat would have been valuable and that is the failure of her editors。 。。。more

Vannessa

A very good sequel to 'Unorthodox', Feldman explores how to live her life after she left the Satmar Jewish community in Williamsburg。 She traces her grandmother's life in Europe and gets to know herself, emotionally and psychologically, better in order to work out how she can build a new life for her and her son, Isaac。 A very good sequel to 'Unorthodox', Feldman explores how to live her life after she left the Satmar Jewish community in Williamsburg。 She traces her grandmother's life in Europe and gets to know herself, emotionally and psychologically, better in order to work out how she can build a new life for her and her son, Isaac。 。。。more

Robin

I should have read more reviews before selecting this book。 I really tried to finish it, but found myself zoning out during sections of the audiobook。 Unorthodox was great, but as others have said, Exodus seems meandering and disjointed。 Couldn’t finish。