Nonfiction

Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

  • Downloads：7049
  • Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
  • Create Date：2021-07-05 06:53:52
  • Update Date：2025-09-07
  • Status：finish
  • Author：John M. Gottman
  • ISBN：1523504463
  • Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary

Strengthen and deepen your love with a fun， ingenious program of eight life-changing conversations—on essential topics such as money， sex， and trust—from two of the world’s leading marriage researchers and clinicians。
 
Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort—and it just got simpler， with this empowering， step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner。 Drawing on forty years of research from their world-famous Love Lab， Dr。 John Gottman and Dr。 Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun， easy， and profoundly rewarding dates， each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust， conflict， sex， money， family， adventure， spirituality， and dreams。
 
Interactive activities and prompts provide motivation to stay open， stay curious， and， most of all， stay talking to each other。 And the range—from the four skills you need for intimate conversation （including Put Into Words What You Are Feeling） to tips on being honest about your needs， while also validating your partner’s own emotions—will resonate， whether you’re newly together or a longtime couple looking to fortify your bond。 You will discover （or rediscover） your partner like never before—and be able to realize your hopes and dreams for the love you desire and deserve。
 

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Reviews

Maddy ，

This was excellent -- a must for any couple， and especially new couples to assess compatibility！ Check it out 👍🏼

Ruhan Bidart ，

Surprising！！！This book is like a helpful manual for people who want to create a lifelong relationship。It presents you with relationship concepts and also with practical suggestions to discuss in a lightweight way， absolutely all the main topics you might want to discuss with your partner to make your relationship better and， principally， deeper。The eight dates they suggest come with questions you can use to make these couple dates very interesting。I'm reading together with my partner and we stop Surprising！！！This book is like a helpful manual for people who want to create a lifelong relationship。It presents you with relationship concepts and also with practical suggestions to discuss in a lightweight way， absolutely all the main topics you might want to discuss with your partner to make your relationship better and， principally， deeper。The eight dates they suggest come with questions you can use to make these couple dates very interesting。I'm reading together with my partner and we stopped several times discussing phrases and parts of the book that were really meaningful for us both。 Reading alone is a good experience but if you can read together with your partner I'd strongly suggest you do that。 It is been a great experience for us！ 。。。more

Monica ，

My mate and I enjoyed this book and all of the dates。 It took us almost 2 years to actually complete them， maybe due to the pandemic！ LOL Anyways， I liked that this wasn't based on any religion and didn't categorize relationships according to sex or gender roles。 We had great relationship-building conversations that probably wouldn't have happened on their own。 My mate and I enjoyed this book and all of the dates。 It took us almost 2 years to actually complete them， maybe due to the pandemic！ LOL Anyways， I liked that this wasn't based on any religion and didn't categorize relationships according to sex or gender roles。 We had great relationship-building conversations that probably wouldn't have happened on their own。 。。。more

Tina ，

Appreciated reminder to stay curious about one's partner， there is always something new to learn about them Appreciated reminder to stay curious about one's partner， there is always something new to learn about them 。。。more

Kelly ，

4。5 stars if I could！ Highly recommend this book to all couples， regardless of where you are in your journey。 We LOVED this during our seasons of dating and engagement。 All around love all of Gottman’s work， research， and wisdom！

Anna Dischinger ，

Very research based， very interesting。

Thảo Đoàn ，

Some things inside this book are not new for everyone。 However， we often lose our attention on normal "important" things in relationships。 We can apply this approach to every relationship （family， friends，。。。） we have。 I love this book so much。 Highly recommend this book for my teammate and friends。 Some things inside this book are not new for everyone。 However， we often lose our attention on normal "important" things in relationships。 We can apply this approach to every relationship （family， friends，。。。） we have。 I love this book so much。 Highly recommend this book for my teammate and friends。 。。。more

Amisha ，

Relationship books can push the same stuff but i found this a truly essential read that could be helpful no matter where you are in your personal journey - happily/unhappily married， single， starting a new relationship。 Gottman proposes couples go on 8 dates， each one centered around one of eight topics - commitment， conflict， sex， work/money， family， dreams， spirituality and growth， fun and adventure。 I appreciate that his work at the gottman institute is science based and that he cites robust Relationship books can push the same stuff but i found this a truly essential read that could be helpful no matter where you are in your personal journey - happily/unhappily married， single， starting a new relationship。 Gottman proposes couples go on 8 dates， each one centered around one of eight topics - commitment， conflict， sex， work/money， family， dreams， spirituality and growth， fun and adventure。 I appreciate that his work at the gottman institute is science based and that he cites robust studies in the book。 He states most couples are not having these deep dives， which is why they struggle。 He also emphasizes 100% alignment is not as important as deep rooted understanding。 。。。more

Nicolaas Dekker ，

My Partner and I Have been reading this together， and the discussions we've had after each chapter have been really insightful and brought us closer。 Great book for couples looking to bring more depth to their relationship。 My Partner and I Have been reading this together， and the discussions we've had after each chapter have been really insightful and brought us closer。 Great book for couples looking to bring more depth to their relationship。 。。。more

Julie ，

I think this book has possibilities and would be great for couples getting to know each other。 It wasn't very successful for my husband and I （more than 20 yrs in） at the time of reading it but I think we learned from it and are still married。 I think this book has possibilities and would be great for couples getting to know each other。 It wasn't very successful for my husband and I （more than 20 yrs in） at the time of reading it but I think we learned from it and are still married。 。。。more

Joanne Chang ，

Very practical topics to discuss in relationships

Melody ，

I’ve been working my way through most of the Gottman books， trying to find the right one to use in a class at church。 This one is something I might recommend to couples preparing for marriage; it has some good fodder for conversations in it。 But I found the “spiritual” questions lacking— they don’t address a lot of what I end up talking to couples about in their religious life。

Aelita Hopper ，

The book offers 8 important topics every couples should talk to each other to understand each other deeper。 Deeper understanding each other is key to have a last long relationship。 Listen to your partner wholeheartedly and understand it; and at the same time being venerable to share your stories to them。 Never stop being curious about the other because we always change and grow。

emyrose8 ，

A very quick read if you're reading it straight through， but if you use it how the book is intended， it'll take a while to use this to the max。 The goal is to do one of these 8 focus dates per week， with the core of the date on a different area of conversation （money， family， dreams， etc。）。 Touted as useful for relationships of all lengths （just starting out， engaged， newlyweds， married for years）， this book is organized for ease-of-use。 Each chapter has an introduction to the focus followed by A very quick read if you're reading it straight through， but if you use it how the book is intended， it'll take a while to use this to the max。 The goal is to do one of these 8 focus dates per week， with the core of the date on a different area of conversation （money， family， dreams， etc。）。 Touted as useful for relationships of all lengths （just starting out， engaged， newlyweds， married for years）， this book is organized for ease-of-use。 Each chapter has an introduction to the focus followed by a quick wrap-up for those that want to skim the highlights prior to that week's date。 It has a section on how to prepare for the date's conversation， along with ideas for the date itself， and questions to direct deeper conversation on the date。 Some of the information was familiar from other relationship books I've read， almost like a condensation of these two books: The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples and Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage （and some of Brene Brown's work on vulnerability）。 Still good， and definitely worth a read with your partner。Note- nontraditional couples are cited in here too 。。。more

Zakiya ，

4。5 round down。 Liked the concept and love the exercises presented in it。 It gave me tons to think about and reflect on。 I also enjoyed how it started in a session about listening。 People tend to want to talk but few actually want to listen。 Recommend to most。。。if not all looking for deep connections with not just people who could be your significant other but could possibly stretch some of it on becoming a better friend。 I did speed read through a couple of sections and wrote down many of the q 4。5 round down。 Liked the concept and love the exercises presented in it。 It gave me tons to think about and reflect on。 I also enjoyed how it started in a session about listening。 People tend to want to talk but few actually want to listen。 Recommend to most。。。if not all looking for deep connections with not just people who could be your significant other but could possibly stretch some of it on becoming a better friend。 I did speed read through a couple of sections and wrote down many of the questions without working through them。 This is one of those books you buy and then take with you。 。。。more

John Phillips ，

This is a fantastic book with amazing suggestions for making your marriage strong。 I am contemplating buying this book for many people！

Degan Walters ，

Great concept and lays out the ideas in an interesting and accessible format。 Some of the ideas need to be taken with a grain of salt though， and others seem to be mashed together so see what works for you。

Leo ，

Nothing outright harmful， but if you're deliberately choosing to read a book about relationships， you already know everything it says。 Nothing outright harmful， but if you're deliberately choosing to read a book about relationships， you already know everything it says。 。。。more

Paula Salme ，

Essential reading。 Knowledge that is bound to affect generations to come through love created and therafter modeled to others。

Anya ，

One of the best books about relationships I've read so far。 One of the best books about relationships I've read so far。 。。。more

Christine Merrill ，

Discovered this book/author through the Unlocking Us podcast with Brene Brown！ Not in my usual wheelhouse so I'm not leaving a star rating， but I did find it to have a lot of interesting questions， fun suggestions and useful tips for building a stronger relationship。 Discovered this book/author through the Unlocking Us podcast with Brene Brown！ Not in my usual wheelhouse so I'm not leaving a star rating， but I did find it to have a lot of interesting questions， fun suggestions and useful tips for building a stronger relationship。 。。。more

Amber ，

A slim book that is thick with thoughtful insights about how happy couples sustain their relationships。

Liz ，

Recommended by Stone， Wade’s friend。An outstanding and practical read on the critical conversations in Marriage and Relationships。 I have read lots of “advice” and even books on relationships but this one definitely takes the cake。。。mostly for being fun and interesting to read。 It’s incredibly practical， it’s concise in giving you the ideas and examples you need， without the repetition that will melt your brain in most self-help books， and backs it all up with rigorous science and actual example Recommended by Stone， Wade’s friend。An outstanding and practical read on the critical conversations in Marriage and Relationships。 I have read lots of “advice” and even books on relationships but this one definitely takes the cake。。。mostly for being fun and interesting to read。 It’s incredibly practical， it’s concise in giving you the ideas and examples you need， without the repetition that will melt your brain in most self-help books， and backs it all up with rigorous science and actual examples of people using this book in real life。 How many authors actually test their advice before publishing the book？ Not that many， y’all！ But these folks did and hoo-boy it shows！ I have done the first three dates with my partner， Wade。 We are about 10 months into dating （during Covid， whatever that means）， and this has been incredible for us。 We’ve had many of these conversations， but no matter how sure we are that we had some of these down， the questions prompted new information and new stories and perspectives， which made a real difference。 Having these intentional dates feels great， like I can feel myself and our relationship growing and getting stronger each time。 We also take turns to read the chapters to each other out loud。 If you’re up for it， this has been awesome for us， because we also stop and talk about the concepts WHILE we read and not just on the date。 This means we can get incredibly deep and have great conversations for days instead of just during one night。 Highly recommended to anyone in， or considering a committed relationship。 And if you’re afraid to ask your partner for these conversations or if they’re not willing， that’s a sign too。 Good luck to you， friend！ 。。。more

Mii ，

That was a good read， insightful and fun。Even though I can't try out the exercises， it stills gave me ideas and knowledge that I'd like to （and will） keep for future reference。I really enjoy reading date one until five， those are heavy and hard topics to be talked about but important （so is date six， seven and eight）。 That was a good read， insightful and fun。Even though I can't try out the exercises， it stills gave me ideas and knowledge that I'd like to （and will） keep for future reference。I really enjoy reading date one until five， those are heavy and hard topics to be talked about but important （so is date six， seven and eight）。 。。。more

Maria Foti ，

Written well in a interesting way， with scenarios and examples。 Not boring or long winded

Just Jenn ，

Better for those already in a relationship。。。not for single people。

Meg ，

I will probably purchase a copy of this book， just to have all of the exercises and conversation questions available on-hand。 Great work from John Gottman， this book provides excellent jumping-off points for meaningful conversations with your partner。

Collette ，

Great book for couples to take the temperatures on their relationships。 The exercises would be really helpful for couples to go though and do。 I could see how the exercises would help deepen a couple’s relationship and offer understanding about one another。 An observation for anyone else reading this book: the chapter on children is more for couples who are starting out on a first marriage/lifelong partnership and are deciding to have kids or not。 Great questions in the book that will help spur Great book for couples to take the temperatures on their relationships。 The exercises would be really helpful for couples to go though and do。 I could see how the exercises would help deepen a couple’s relationship and offer understanding about one another。 An observation for anyone else reading this book: the chapter on children is more for couples who are starting out on a first marriage/lifelong partnership and are deciding to have kids or not。 Great questions in the book that will help spur conversation and a deeper knowing of your partner。 。。。more

Maria Rodrigues ，

Wonderful conversations， highly recommend！

Noell ，

This book is great for shaping intentional， vulnerable conversations between partners。 Some chapters are stronger than others， but overall a really helpful resource。

Reference

google book https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

hathitrust digital library https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/ls?q1=Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love&field1=ocr&a=srchls&ft=ft&lmt=ft

The British Library https://bll01.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/discovery/search?query=any,contains,Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love&tab=LibraryCatalog&search_scope=Not_BL_Suppress&vid=44BL_INST:BLL01&lang=en&offset=0