Leaving Isn't the Hardest Thing: Essays
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- Create Date：2021-06-30 06:52:36
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Lauren Hough
- ISBN：0593080769
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Summary
Searing and extremely personal essays from the heart of working-class America， shot through with the darkest elements the country can manifest--cults， homelessness， and hunger--while discovering light and humor in unexpected corners。 A VINTAGE ORIGINAL。
As an adult， Lauren Hough has had many identities: an airman in the U。S。 Air Force， a cable guy， a bouncer at a gay club。 As a child， however， she had none。 Growing up as a member of the infamous cult The Children of God， Hough had her own self robbed from her。 The cult took her all over the globe--to Germany， Japan， Texas， Ecuador--but it wasn't until her mother finally walked away that Lauren understood she could have a life beyond "The Family。"
Along the way， she's loaded up her car and started over， trading one life for the next。 She's taken pilgrimages to the sights of her youth， been kept in solitary confinement， dated a lot of women， dabbled in drugs， and eventually found herself as what she always wanted to be: a writer。 Here， as she sweeps through the underbelly of America--relying on friends， family， and strangers alike--she begins to excavate a new identity even as her past continues to trail her and color her world， relationships， and perceptions of self。
At once razor-sharp， profoundly brave， and often very， very funny， the essays in Leaving Isn't the Hardest Thing interrogate our notions of ecstasy， queerness， and what it means to live freely。 Each piece is a reckoning: of survival， identity， and how to reclaim one's past when carving out a future。
As an adult， Lauren Hough has had many identities: an airman in the U。S。 Air Force， a cable guy， a bouncer at a gay club。 As a child， however， she had none。 Growing up as a member of the infamous cult The Children of God， Hough had her own self robbed from her。 The cult took her all over the globe--to Germany， Japan， Texas， Ecuador--but it wasn't until her mother finally walked away that Lauren understood she could have a life beyond "The Family。"
Along the way， she's loaded up her car and started over， trading one life for the next。 She's taken pilgrimages to the sights of her youth， been kept in solitary confinement， dated a lot of women， dabbled in drugs， and eventually found herself as what she always wanted to be: a writer。 Here， as she sweeps through the underbelly of America--relying on friends， family， and strangers alike--she begins to excavate a new identity even as her past continues to trail her and color her world， relationships， and perceptions of self。
At once razor-sharp， profoundly brave， and often very， very funny， the essays in Leaving Isn't the Hardest Thing interrogate our notions of ecstasy， queerness， and what it means to live freely。 Each piece is a reckoning: of survival， identity， and how to reclaim one's past when carving out a future。
Reviews
Jamie
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Listened to the Audio version for Cate Blanchett's narration。 She only does about half of the chapters however。 Couldn't get through the ones narrated by the author。 Overall didn't like the book。 There are no details about growing up in a sex cult， other than you're not supposed to say anything and it's hard to find each other because your name changes often。 Also the author does not talk about her trauma， but simply uses these trigger words （sex cult， sexual abuse， trauma） as bait。 It was mostl Listened to the Audio version for Cate Blanchett's narration。 She only does about half of the chapters however。 Couldn't get through the ones narrated by the author。 Overall didn't like the book。 There are no details about growing up in a sex cult， other than you're not supposed to say anything and it's hard to find each other because your name changes often。 Also the author does not talk about her trauma， but simply uses these trigger words （sex cult， sexual abuse， trauma） as bait。 It was mostly a book about her complaining about life。 This will be the first and last misery lit for me。 1 extra star for Cate for being able to get through it with awesomeness。 Her American accent in the book reminds me of her accent in Carol。 Only highlight of this book for me。Oh， and the author curses so much， quite unnecessary and doesn't match CB's classy voice。 。。。more
Enya
，
It’s interesting but wayyyyyy to long。 I had to drag myself across the last 100 pages。
Tiena （tlovesallthebooks）
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This was on my TBR but I will choose another author to support。 Verbally （Twitter） attacking the reading community is unprofessional - all over a 4。5 review。 We generally respect authors and we do what we can to highlight their work。 I personally post reviews to guide others to books they will also enjoy as well as to warn of those that could be harmful。 Readers have more power than you think。
Tracy
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It's a delicate balance to write stories about your life without creating trauma porn。 Hough's style weaves her history with her current life and our society in a way that produced empathy。 My life has been different， yet I could see parallels in this book of essays。。。and in the reading I reflected on how my own lived experience shaped who I am today （evangelical religion， working class family）。 It's a delicate balance to write stories about your life without creating trauma porn。 Hough's style weaves her history with her current life and our society in a way that produced empathy。 My life has been different， yet I could see parallels in this book of essays。。。and in the reading I reflected on how my own lived experience shaped who I am today （evangelical religion， working class family）。 。。。more
Ben
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In a sea of brilliant authors， this one leaves a salty taste in the mouth。 Nothing exceptional to see here， plenty of better options around to spend your money and， more importantly， your time on。
Caitlin Davies
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Okay， I'm going to need Cate Blanchett to narrate more audiobooks。 Okay， I'm going to need Cate Blanchett to narrate more audiobooks。 。。。more
Eilish
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Okay I couldn’t figure out how to delete this off my to-read but the author has started bullying people for mediocre reviews so I’m no longer interested in it
Cathy
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I really enjoyed this。 Lauren’s writing is magnificent。
Stephanie Kollgaard
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Not rating this since I haven't read the book， but this author is *still* name searching herself on twitter and instagram and posting （including names and social media handles） reviews that she doesn't like and siccing her followers on the reviewers。 She's going as far as accusing people of pedophilia and wanting to read "trauma porn。" Really obnoxious behavior from the author。 It sounds like her writing is great but she has really put me off reading anything of hers and reviewers should be awar Not rating this since I haven't read the book， but this author is *still* name searching herself on twitter and instagram and posting （including names and social media handles） reviews that she doesn't like and siccing her followers on the reviewers。 She's going as far as accusing people of pedophilia and wanting to read "trauma porn。" Really obnoxious behavior from the author。 It sounds like her writing is great but she has really put me off reading anything of hers and reviewers should be aware that she is doing this to completely random readers！ 。。。more
Alysan Azman
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A tough， but fascinating read！ No one should have to suffer through life like Lauren did。 Her journey from life in a cult to finally finding herself - and saving herself - is a great story！
Christina Turner
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Rounded down from 6
A。G。Millow
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Just another asshole nerd on a trip
Ryan
，
Really liked this one。 It’s refreshing to read an essay collection that isn’t the typical overanalytical navel gazing， but is filled with rough and raw experience。
Amy Kett
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Folks that killed this memoir's ratings by leaving butthurt 1 star reviews because of Twitter are truly unfortunate。 I get not reading the book because you find the author problematic， but jeez。 I found this to be super interesting， engaging， well written， and quite beautiful。 Do I want to be Hough's bff forever and ever？ No。 She would ABSOLUTELY think I'm a nerd， and she kind of scares me。 Will I read anything she writes？ For sure。 Folks that killed this memoir's ratings by leaving butthurt 1 star reviews because of Twitter are truly unfortunate。 I get not reading the book because you find the author problematic， but jeez。 I found this to be super interesting， engaging， well written， and quite beautiful。 Do I want to be Hough's bff forever and ever？ No。 She would ABSOLUTELY think I'm a nerd， and she kind of scares me。 Will I read anything she writes？ For sure。 。。。more
Reads With Rachel
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Here’s my video review: https://youtu。be/dHtFaGEw7bI2。5 stars rounded down。 In my opinion， this was just okay。 I’m not a fan of Lauren’s writing style。 Here’s my video review: https://youtu。be/dHtFaGEw7bI2。5 stars rounded down。 In my opinion， this was just okay。 I’m not a fan of Lauren’s writing style。 。。。more
Heather Fineisen
，
I heard this author on NPR being interviewed by Terry Gross and was intrigued。 The book did not live up to my hopes but there is some good writing in there about the military and the cult and how the two are similar。 The essays were hit or miss and maybe too much about her sex life。 A raw energy on her hardscrabble life with drug use and getting over the cult life。 This copy provided by the publisher and NetGalley
John-Paul Morton
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I loved it。 It's an easy read that is full of all different kinds of stories and each one is fascinating。 You can't say Lauren's life is boring and she writes with a down to earth style that made me love her。 I loved it。 It's an easy read that is full of all different kinds of stories and each one is fascinating。 You can't say Lauren's life is boring and she writes with a down to earth style that made me love her。 。。。more
Ady
，
I am writing this review with no rating because I haven’t actually read this book， but also never will for specific reasons。 By this point， everyone knows that THIS is the author that attacked reviewers on social media for giving her book 4 or 4。5 stars instead of 5 stars。 Generally speaking， this would be enough to deter any readers that review on GR from picking up this book。 Who wants to read a book and have the author come for you on Twitter if you don’t say it is absolutely flawless and you I am writing this review with no rating because I haven’t actually read this book， but also never will for specific reasons。 By this point， everyone knows that THIS is the author that attacked reviewers on social media for giving her book 4 or 4。5 stars instead of 5 stars。 Generally speaking， this would be enough to deter any readers that review on GR from picking up this book。 Who wants to read a book and have the author come for you on Twitter if you don’t say it is absolutely flawless and your favorite book ever？ Naturally， this resulted in some backlash。 I mean… nobody likes a bully。 But instead of recognizing the mistake she made and apologizing for bullying reviewers， she DOUBLED DOWN and then compared any criticism of her actions to RAPE CULTURE。 Big ouch。 So I have spent some time considering how to separate an author from their work。 Lots of data exists to suggest that many celebrated male authors of yore were crappy at being human。 Does an author have to be likable or good in order to have their art valued and validated in the world？ Previously， no… BUT， in general， living authors behaving badly on social media ARE called out， male or female。 This is today’s society。 Marketing is a big part of anything you sell。 Part of selling your art IS now marketing your whole self。 This sucks， but it is how it works now。 Besides that though （because I might be willing to overlook rules of living in a consumer driven society） this lady is a bully。 So review away。 But be aware that the woman who authored this memoir might be coming for you if you don’t do exactly what she thinks you should and give her book unlimited praise。 Also， she will gaslight you afterwards to make it out that it is your fault and SHE is the victim。 This is an enormously toxic narcissist with a Twitter platform。 We all saw how well THAT works out for people。 。。。more
john
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A somewhat remarkable， horrifying， mesmerizing， book。 A real peek into the underbelly of America， the struggle of many and the authors childhood and upbringing。 Well worth a read。
samar۵
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dnf at page 4。5%
Rebecca
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My review is of the audio version。 I think the essays are good， but I was thrown by the switch in narrators after getting to "know" the author through the first narration。 I'd prefer to read this as a regular book than listen to two different narrators reading the same autobiographical essays。 It was just weird and jarring。 My review is of the audio version。 I think the essays are good， but I was thrown by the switch in narrators after getting to "know" the author through the first narration。 I'd prefer to read this as a regular book than listen to two different narrators reading the same autobiographical essays。 It was just weird and jarring。 。。。more
Meghan Usmani
，
Raw and real。 I can’t imagine the energy it took to write these experiences down， to slog through all of the realizations and memories and to be able to convey parts of your life from a perspective few share， yet do so with a universal sense of belonging。 We’ve all felt unheard， forgotten， taken for granted and lost and Lauren Hough connects her narrative to those core emotions， without letting her writing get too heavy。 （Humors is a coping mechanism right？） I can’t wait to see what else Lauren Raw and real。 I can’t imagine the energy it took to write these experiences down， to slog through all of the realizations and memories and to be able to convey parts of your life from a perspective few share， yet do so with a universal sense of belonging。 We’ve all felt unheard， forgotten， taken for granted and lost and Lauren Hough connects her narrative to those core emotions， without letting her writing get too heavy。 （Humors is a coping mechanism right？） I can’t wait to see what else Lauren has in store around the next bend… 。。。more
Rachel Gordon
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It’s been a while since I read a book in a day。 This book is basically a memoir in essays， and it’s so smart and fascinating and even sometimes funny （surprising given the subject matter）。 Easily a five-star book for me。 All the one star reviews here are a bummer and I don’t think they reflect the actual book。 I guess at some point Hough said something snarky and petty about Goodreads readers on Twitter， so they showed her it’s not OK to be snarky and petty by… being snarky and petty？ Sure， OK。 It’s been a while since I read a book in a day。 This book is basically a memoir in essays， and it’s so smart and fascinating and even sometimes funny （surprising given the subject matter）。 Easily a five-star book for me。 All the one star reviews here are a bummer and I don’t think they reflect the actual book。 I guess at some point Hough said something snarky and petty about Goodreads readers on Twitter， so they showed her it’s not OK to be snarky and petty by… being snarky and petty？ Sure， OK。 I hope people will ignore those and read this book。 。。。more
Lisa Eirene
，
I enjoyed this book a lot。 Particularly the first half of the book， it really sucked me in and kept me reading。 Her writing style is great and the topics she addresses in the book are interesting。 While she was raised in a cult， the book was less about that， and more about her life and struggles in general。 Leaving a cult， being gay， joining the military， leaving the military after years of abuse/rape/harassment， and she clearly never had any real upbringing。 If she's struggling as an adult， I c I enjoyed this book a lot。 Particularly the first half of the book， it really sucked me in and kept me reading。 Her writing style is great and the topics she addresses in the book are interesting。 While she was raised in a cult， the book was less about that， and more about her life and struggles in general。 Leaving a cult， being gay， joining the military， leaving the military after years of abuse/rape/harassment， and she clearly never had any real upbringing。 If she's struggling as an adult， I can see why。 Growing up in a cult。 Moving to different countries on a regular basis， not having any proper schooling， etc。 How could someone grow up to be a fully functioning adult with those landmines to navigate？ 。。。more
Bailey Bryant
，
Me， innocently logging on to Goodreads and navigating over to this page just to see all the 0-star reviews and why: That being said， I still wanted to give this book a chance and， perhaps because it's a memoir and the author has revealed A LOT about their character on social media lately， I couldn't get into it。 The writing was stiff and short and clunky and not very compelling。 I didn't bother to finish it。 Me， innocently logging on to Goodreads and navigating over to this page just to see all the 0-star reviews and why: That being said， I still wanted to give this book a chance and， perhaps because it's a memoir and the author has revealed A LOT about their character on social media lately， I couldn't get into it。 The writing was stiff and short and clunky and not very compelling。 I didn't bother to finish it。 。。。more
Jen （bookscoffeedogs）
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Ahh hell。 I wrote this long review and my phone died。 Cut to the chase， it was a good book that is why 5 stars。 The early essays are troubling to read about life in the cult。 If someone had suffered from trauma just FYI， it could be triggering。 I heard her on NPR and thought it was an interesting perspective， and the idea she got in a thing with Goodreads reviewers and people had suggested she shouldn’t be read because of it， I found it a motivating factor。 If you read the book you can see her r Ahh hell。 I wrote this long review and my phone died。 Cut to the chase， it was a good book that is why 5 stars。 The early essays are troubling to read about life in the cult。 If someone had suffered from trauma just FYI， it could be triggering。 I heard her on NPR and thought it was an interesting perspective， and the idea she got in a thing with Goodreads reviewers and people had suggested she shouldn’t be read because of it， I found it a motivating factor。 If you read the book you can see her responses aren’t out of left field here。 Sometimes I too find Goodread reviews annoyingly know it all sounding。 I still read them when I am done with a book。 As far as anything after on Twitter or other social media， blogs， I have no idea and hope the author stops reading and engaging with them altogether。 She has a voice and perspective that is valuable， and I always admire someone willing to write so candidly about their experiences， exposing their vulnerabilities， and then NOT take it personally when the world begins to share its opinions about you and your work。 Or if you do， somehow learning to separate yourself out from it。 I am not sure I could withstand it。 It would be really hard to do for anyone， and considering the essays here and her background， it isn’t surprising。 I’m not reviewing the person here， just the book I read， and wow was I troubled because I once knew someone raised in a cult about the same age as the author， and also the author is crass， funny， spot on， honest， brash， vulnerable in even putting pen to page here， angry， and I once too left suburbia for the road for the same reasons。 And the 9:30 club…that place still exists？ 5 stars for the book， the rest is human nature in its myriad of forms and experiences。 。。。more
Greg Williams
，
This is a set of autobiographical essays by Lauren Hough。 These essays describe her search for identity after growing up in and leaving the Children of God cult。 In a way， I think the act of writing these essays probably helped the author come to grips with her past and find her identity。 I found them to be interesting and， at the same time， both funny and tragic。 I liked her writing style and， in general， enjoyed this book。 But it didn't "wow" me or leave a deep impression on me。 I'd recommend This is a set of autobiographical essays by Lauren Hough。 These essays describe her search for identity after growing up in and leaving the Children of God cult。 In a way， I think the act of writing these essays probably helped the author come to grips with her past and find her identity。 I found them to be interesting and， at the same time， both funny and tragic。 I liked her writing style and， in general， enjoyed this book。 But it didn't "wow" me or leave a deep impression on me。 I'd recommend reading her "I Was A Cable Guy。 I Saw The Worst of America" article in HuffPost to get a flavor for what this book is like。 If you enjoy that， then you will enjoy this book。 。。。more
Amber
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This is a truly beautiful book。 Hough’s writing is phenomenal。 I can’t wait to read what she writes next。
Maggie
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Could tell some of the pieces have been published in other places， and ended up with weird repetition。 It managed to not really be about anything？
Rachel Coff
，