Crying in H Mart
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- Create Date：2021-06-29 08:52:29
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Michelle Zauner
- ISBN：0593396596
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Summary
From the indie rockstar of Japanese Breakfast fame， and author of the viral 2018 New Yorker essay that shares the title of this book， an unflinching， powerful memoir about growing up Korean American， losing her mother， and forging her own identity。
In this exquisite story of family， food， grief， and endurance， Michelle Zauner proves herself far more than a dazzling singer， songwriter， and guitarist。 With humor and heart， she tells of growing up one of the few Asian American kids at her school in Eugene， Oregon; of struggling with her mother's particular， high expectations of her; of a painful adolescence; of treasured months spent in her grandmother's tiny apartment in Seoul， where she and her mother would bond， late at night， over heaping plates of food。 As she grew up， moving to the East Coast for college， finding work in the restaurant industry， and performing gigs with her fledgling band--and meeting the man who would become her husband--her Koreanness began to feel ever more distant， even as she found the life she wanted to live。 It was her mother's diagnosis of terminal cancer， when Michelle was twenty-five， that forced a reckoning with her identity and brought her to reclaim the gifts of taste， language， and history her mother had given her。
Vivacious and plainspoken， lyrical and honest， Zauner's voice is as radiantly alive on the page as it is onstage。 Rich with intimate anecdotes that will resonate widely， and complete with family photos， Crying in H Mart is a book to cherish， share， and reread。
In this exquisite story of family， food， grief， and endurance， Michelle Zauner proves herself far more than a dazzling singer， songwriter， and guitarist。 With humor and heart， she tells of growing up one of the few Asian American kids at her school in Eugene， Oregon; of struggling with her mother's particular， high expectations of her; of a painful adolescence; of treasured months spent in her grandmother's tiny apartment in Seoul， where she and her mother would bond， late at night， over heaping plates of food。 As she grew up， moving to the East Coast for college， finding work in the restaurant industry， and performing gigs with her fledgling band--and meeting the man who would become her husband--her Koreanness began to feel ever more distant， even as she found the life she wanted to live。 It was her mother's diagnosis of terminal cancer， when Michelle was twenty-five， that forced a reckoning with her identity and brought her to reclaim the gifts of taste， language， and history her mother had given her。
Vivacious and plainspoken， lyrical and honest， Zauner's voice is as radiantly alive on the page as it is onstage。 Rich with intimate anecdotes that will resonate widely， and complete with family photos， Crying in H Mart is a book to cherish， share， and reread。
Reviews
Amanda Ford
，
Heartbreaking and beautiful memoir。
Joanne
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3。5really enjoyed this book and appreciated zauner's recollections of her childhood/mother and her mom's subsequent illness and death。 the sections moved quickly to the point where i was left wanting a little more or not quite feeling satisfied。 not necessarily a writing style that matched my taste but a memoir that i still thoroughly enjoyed。 also maybe the subject matter is too close to my own experience so at some points i felt like i was turning away from it？ if that makes sense。。。 3。5really enjoyed this book and appreciated zauner's recollections of her childhood/mother and her mom's subsequent illness and death。 the sections moved quickly to the point where i was left wanting a little more or not quite feeling satisfied。 not necessarily a writing style that matched my taste but a memoir that i still thoroughly enjoyed。 also maybe the subject matter is too close to my own experience so at some points i felt like i was turning away from it？ if that makes sense。。。 。。。more
Rachel Hopkins
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My favorite genre with lots of food talk。 I need to go to Korea！
Judy
，
Very。 Poignant memoir。
Donna
，
Loved it。 Wonderful memoir growing up Korean American。 Her relationship with her。mother ，food，family，tears
Jachin
，
Honest， well written， and my kind of sad。
Kelly Shannon
，
Fantastic read。 Although， if you’ve lost someone close to you recently， you may want to wait a while before reading。
Meredith M
，
This memoir is wonderful。 Heartbreaking， funny， sweet， and mean。 And I’ve never been hungrier reading a book。 I don’t care to buy books much anymore because I fear how much I might not enjoy them， especially when libraries exist。 But I think I need a copy of this one。 To re-read， cry again， and to actually write down all the names of these amazing sounding Korean dishes。
Kelly Gesker
，
This book made me tired and furious。 How is it the moment someone who you have viciously fought with gets sick， they are suddenly a saint？ I cringed every time Zauner aspired to "be the daughter her mother always wanted" or to "be worthy of her love。" How awful that in her mother's dying months， Zauner could not feel the supposed love her mother had felt for her and continued to seek approval。 Mothers are very complicated。 Mother's Day is the #1 day for intakes in mental hospitals。 I wanted to q This book made me tired and furious。 How is it the moment someone who you have viciously fought with gets sick， they are suddenly a saint？ I cringed every time Zauner aspired to "be the daughter her mother always wanted" or to "be worthy of her love。" How awful that in her mother's dying months， Zauner could not feel the supposed love her mother had felt for her and continued to seek approval。 Mothers are very complicated。 Mother's Day is the #1 day for intakes in mental hospitals。 I wanted to quit torturing myself with this book but persisted in the hope of some emotional growth or resolution but no。 There was none。 Instead of this event pulling the people in Chongmi's life together， they looked st one another with jealousy and resentment--another sign that she could not love them all but is despite of each other。 Children do not "owe" their parents for loving them。 They have no choice in being born to those parents。 Constant reminders that they are somehow disappointments or unworthy is ludicrous。 A child cannot give back to a parent as even then the parent has to guide and assure them。 In truth， it seemed like a wretched， unloving family that had little love to offer one another。 That might feel shameful to say but at least it would be honest。 This probably was a good essay but felt like a struggle as a whole book。 I have zero interest in a movie。 。。。more
Taki
，
In this powerful book， Michelle Zauner writes about the evolution of her relationship with her mother and the central role of Korean food within that relationship。 Michelle Zauner's story is written with a deep observation of the intersect of her mixed race identity and the desire to keep in touch with her Korean ethnicity。 As an Asian-American immigrant raised by a single mom， I found comfort in the author's writing and found myself in tears throughout the book。 I also really appreciated Michel In this powerful book， Michelle Zauner writes about the evolution of her relationship with her mother and the central role of Korean food within that relationship。 Michelle Zauner's story is written with a deep observation of the intersect of her mixed race identity and the desire to keep in touch with her Korean ethnicity。 As an Asian-American immigrant raised by a single mom， I found comfort in the author's writing and found myself in tears throughout the book。 I also really appreciated Michelle Zauner's self-awareness of why we do the certain things we do in the mother-child relationship。 Go Japanese Breakfast！ 。。。more
Lisa Kang Gambino
，
I devoured this book - couldn't put it down。 I can't even remember the last time I cried this much because of a book。 It was so relatable in every way - the mother/daughter relationship， the food， the language， the summer visits to Korea， losing a parent to cancer。 Although I'm not bi-racial， I was an immigrant baby & fully identified with the desire to deny my Korean roots just to fit in with American culture， with one foot in & one foot out， only to come full circle as an adult & embrace my he I devoured this book - couldn't put it down。 I can't even remember the last time I cried this much because of a book。 It was so relatable in every way - the mother/daughter relationship， the food， the language， the summer visits to Korea， losing a parent to cancer。 Although I'm not bi-racial， I was an immigrant baby & fully identified with the desire to deny my Korean roots just to fit in with American culture， with one foot in & one foot out， only to come full circle as an adult & embrace my heritage wholeheartedly。 And because my parents were the only ones to leave Korea， fearing that our connection to our homeland would be lost without them。 The power that food has in not only showing one's love， but how it defines us & connects us by bonding & bringing family & people together。 Beautiful， emotional， honest。。。wonderfully written。 。。。more
Jeannie
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This was， to borrow a favorite word from Zauner's mother， lovely。 Who knew that the voice behind Japanese Breakfast has writing talents that extend beyond songwriting？ Her detailing of the complex and loving relationship she had with her mom， and of the importance of food in their connection， was really evocative and powerful。 This was， to borrow a favorite word from Zauner's mother， lovely。 Who knew that the voice behind Japanese Breakfast has writing talents that extend beyond songwriting？ Her detailing of the complex and loving relationship she had with her mom， and of the importance of food in their connection， was really evocative and powerful。 。。。more
Seal
，
It's really hard to put words to how I feel about this book。 It's not a particularly enjoyable experience but still a good read。 It mostly made me feel a lot of anxiety about one day losing my parents or my siblings， and the great sense that if I end up having children there must be at least two， because not having siblings and going through times of grief alone seems awful。 It's really hard to put words to how I feel about this book。 It's not a particularly enjoyable experience but still a good read。 It mostly made me feel a lot of anxiety about one day losing my parents or my siblings， and the great sense that if I end up having children there must be at least two， because not having siblings and going through times of grief alone seems awful。 。。。more
Jeanie
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This book was so sad and emotional。 I loved her descriptions of food and the way she describes each type of food she's eating。 The relationship with her mom is so relatable to my own relationship with my mom。 Makes me appreciate the times I spend with my mom and to not take things for granted。 A very poignant， well written memoir。 This book was so sad and emotional。 I loved her descriptions of food and the way she describes each type of food she's eating。 The relationship with her mom is so relatable to my own relationship with my mom。 Makes me appreciate the times I spend with my mom and to not take things for granted。 A very poignant， well written memoir。 。。。more
Prak
，
love your mothers
Sara
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The H Mart of the title refers to a Korean grocery where the author spent a lot of time with her mother buying the right ingredients for Korean recipes and where she tries to recreate these recipes after her mother's cancer death。 This memoir talks a lot about Korean food and customs since the author's mother was Korean and they visited there every other year。 It also deals with their relationship。 While I eventually skimmed through parts of the food talk， I thoroughly enjoyed this book。 The H Mart of the title refers to a Korean grocery where the author spent a lot of time with her mother buying the right ingredients for Korean recipes and where she tries to recreate these recipes after her mother's cancer death。 This memoir talks a lot about Korean food and customs since the author's mother was Korean and they visited there every other year。 It also deals with their relationship。 While I eventually skimmed through parts of the food talk， I thoroughly enjoyed this book。 。。。more
Deborah
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shoutout to the 3 people on the train who saw me cry 4 times over the span of an hour while reading this book
Susan
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such a unique memior told through the lens of。。。 food？ it's got everything i love - mother daughter relationships， explorations of race， and of course， food。 a good balance of tears from the heartbreaking story and saliva from how good the food sounded！ maybe 4。5 stars？ such a unique memior told through the lens of。。。 food？ it's got everything i love - mother daughter relationships， explorations of race， and of course， food。 a good balance of tears from the heartbreaking story and saliva from how good the food sounded！ maybe 4。5 stars？ 。。。more
Anthony N
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There is much I can say about this book， overall its an amazing moving memoir which both brought me to a tear and hunger。 I admired the relationship Michelle has with her mother， it was personally relatable and the love they shared together was in my view the most human I have read。 I also found Michelle’s experience on her cultural identity relatable as well where I have experienced what she went through with understanding and having it be part of her life。 Would write more but best to just say There is much I can say about this book， overall its an amazing moving memoir which both brought me to a tear and hunger。 I admired the relationship Michelle has with her mother， it was personally relatable and the love they shared together was in my view the most human I have read。 I also found Michelle’s experience on her cultural identity relatable as well where I have experienced what she went through with understanding and having it be part of her life。 Would write more but best to just say 10/10 would recommend， definitely take your time to read this！ 。。。more
Abril
，
I've been listening to Japanese Breakfast for years！ And I was so excited when I found out that Michelle Zauner had written a book as well！ I could not wait to get my hands on a copy of my own！ This is definitely my favorite book that I have read all year。 Zauner has not only done a wonderful job at describing the intense connection between grief and culture， but she has also written an amazing book on the immigrant experience。 I truly did not expect this story to resonate with me as much as it I've been listening to Japanese Breakfast for years！ And I was so excited when I found out that Michelle Zauner had written a book as well！ I could not wait to get my hands on a copy of my own！ This is definitely my favorite book that I have read all year。 Zauner has not only done a wonderful job at describing the intense connection between grief and culture， but she has also written an amazing book on the immigrant experience。 I truly did not expect this story to resonate with me as much as it did， or to relate to the characters as well as I did， because my family is from Mexico and not Korea， but this book hit HARD regardless。 Zauner is an incredible storyteller， because you can almost smell and taste the delicious foods that she describes in each chapter， hear the busy sounds of the H Mart， and *feel* the intense emotions that accompany the painful experience of losing a loved one or the worry of feeling disconnected with your mother country。 Grief is heavy， this book is heavy。 I have never cried so much while reading a book in my entire life， and yet I feel so comforted at the same time。 Thank you for an amazing literary experience Ms。 Zauner！ I can't wait to see what you write next！ 。。。more
Isha Bagga
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This was a really special book。 It really was evident that writing this was a big part of the healing process for her， and I'm glad that she was able to make something so beautiful out of such a tragic experience。 She was honest with her feelings which sometimes didn't show her in the best light but definitely made it more real and relatable。 And it made me more excited about connecting to my family's culture through food， since that is something everyone enjoys。 This was a really special book。 It really was evident that writing this was a big part of the healing process for her， and I'm glad that she was able to make something so beautiful out of such a tragic experience。 She was honest with her feelings which sometimes didn't show her in the best light but definitely made it more real and relatable。 And it made me more excited about connecting to my family's culture through food， since that is something everyone enjoys。 。。。more
Laura Newton
，
This book is part food narrative， part coming-of age story， part grief memoir。 The author is a Korean-American writing about her experiences growing up in America: trying to rid herself of her Korean-ness， battling with her mother， yearning to discover her place in the world as an individual and as a musician。 It is only when her mother is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that Zauner begins to face the parts of herself she has been working so hard to escape for so many years。There were many part This book is part food narrative， part coming-of age story， part grief memoir。 The author is a Korean-American writing about her experiences growing up in America: trying to rid herself of her Korean-ness， battling with her mother， yearning to discover her place in the world as an individual and as a musician。 It is only when her mother is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that Zauner begins to face the parts of herself she has been working so hard to escape for so many years。There were many parts of this book I loved， and I highly recommend it on audio。 Read by the author， I thought she did a marvelous job conveying the emotion behind the experience of dying， grieving， and learning to live again。 I also appreciated her Korean pronunciation of words and phrases throughout: I thought it added something special to the experience。 The four stars comes from this pickiness: this book seemed disjointed to me it moved from heavily emotional moments to lightweight ones so quickly that it jarred me。 Once， a transition was so abrupt that I checked my phone to be sure I had not jumped ahead。 Though I suppose life in fact works that way and we move from one experience to another quickly， yet it seemed to take away from the experience for me。 。。。more
Amanda Barnett
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The prose was beautiful and the food writing was written so perceptibly you could taste the noodles， the soups， the kimchi。 However， this story dragged on in a singular note， swirling around death， and more specifically， the management and coping of her mother's tragic illness and death。 While care work for the sick should not be a topic to stray from on principle， Zauner's focus on the comforts and culture of food offered little levity from a dark topic。 I was excited to read a book premised pa The prose was beautiful and the food writing was written so perceptibly you could taste the noodles， the soups， the kimchi。 However， this story dragged on in a singular note， swirling around death， and more specifically， the management and coping of her mother's tragic illness and death。 While care work for the sick should not be a topic to stray from on principle， Zauner's focus on the comforts and culture of food offered little levity from a dark topic。 I was excited to read a book premised partly on Zauner's mixed Asian-white perspective， but felt like she waded rather than dove through complex mixed-race substance。 Zauner can't and shouldn't do everything， but I just wish she developed these aspects of the book more， because the lack of character development made the book unfeeling， which is counterintuitive in a book all about feelings！ If anything， reading Crying in H mart felt like a drawn-out piece of catharsis， such as a diary entry。 While I enjoyed some parts， I found myself putting the book down out of boredom， propelled by shame of my callousness to pick it back up， only to get bored again。 。。。more
Nikhil Sethi
，
how do i make the tears stop
Kady
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She was guilty only of caring too much。 I realize this now， only in retrospect。 No one in this world would ever love me as much as my mother， and she would never let me forget it。 This book single-handedly made me want to book a plane ticket， fly back to Canada， give my mom the biggest hug in the world， and never let go。 It makes me want to call my Baba and finally get her recipe for borscht， even though it will never be exactly the same。 It makes me crave Cheez-Whiz on toast with my dad on Sun She was guilty only of caring too much。 I realize this now， only in retrospect。 No one in this world would ever love me as much as my mother， and she would never let me forget it。 This book single-handedly made me want to book a plane ticket， fly back to Canada， give my mom the biggest hug in the world， and never let go。 It makes me want to call my Baba and finally get her recipe for borscht， even though it will never be exactly the same。 It makes me crave Cheez-Whiz on toast with my dad on Sunday mornings， and puts to words that feeling I got when I finally made pierogies just right。 Reading it was both painful and necessary。 Every page I read made me feel like I had a little lump in my stomach。 But through reading Michelle Zauner’s heartbreaking memoir on loss and finding herself， I feel like I understood myself a little better， too。 。。。more
floreana
，
"When I got hurt， she felt it so deeply， it was as though it were her own affliction。 She was guilty only of caring too much。 I realize this now， only in retrospect。 No one in this would would ever love me as much as my mother， and she would never let me forget it。”qué dolor。 es cortito pero me tomó un montón de días porque no podía parar de llorar。 adoro los libros sobre madres， y aún más los libros de relaciones entre madres/hijas。 cada página fue como un cuchillazo al corazón， literalmente。 y "When I got hurt， she felt it so deeply， it was as though it were her own affliction。 She was guilty only of caring too much。 I realize this now， only in retrospect。 No one in this would would ever love me as much as my mother， and she would never let me forget it。”qué dolor。 es cortito pero me tomó un montón de días porque no podía parar de llorar。 adoro los libros sobre madres， y aún más los libros de relaciones entre madres/hijas。 cada página fue como un cuchillazo al corazón， literalmente。 y no sé si alguna vez leí un libro tan sincero。 las familias siempre me resultan herméticas， incluso dentro de sí mismas; secretos， cosas sin decir， etc。 pero michelle saca todo。 saca todos los trapos， saca sus trapos， los de su mamá， los de su papá， los de toda su familia。 me pareció brutal。 。。。more
Saachi
，
A heart-wrenching， lasting， memorable account of the mother-daughter relationship。 Zauner writes magnificently about food， and has convinced me of a meal's intimacy。 I cried during this book， felt so heavy at some parts I couldn't move， and rejoiced that there are people like Michelle Zauner who are so real and willing to share difficult stories。 A heart-wrenching， lasting， memorable account of the mother-daughter relationship。 Zauner writes magnificently about food， and has convinced me of a meal's intimacy。 I cried during this book， felt so heavy at some parts I couldn't move， and rejoiced that there are people like Michelle Zauner who are so real and willing to share difficult stories。 。。。more
Nicolemauerman
，
I was really amazed by this book。 Michelle Zaunder heads the band Japanese Breakfast and wrote about the death of her mother。 I really like Zaunder's writing style and I found the book so moving。 Zauder is very wise beyond her years。 I was really amazed by this book。 Michelle Zaunder heads the band Japanese Breakfast and wrote about the death of her mother。 I really like Zaunder's writing style and I found the book so moving。 Zauder is very wise beyond her years。 。。。more
Hannah
，
（4。5/5） I would highly recommend this memoir。 It felt deeply personal， the author’s voice is clear and emotional。 Yes I cried。
Carly O'Connell
，
This is the memoir of a woman with a close but complicated relationship with her mother dealing with the feelings brought on by her death。 Zauner anchors the narrative in food， especially the food of her mother's homeland - Korea。 Learning to cook Korean food helps her maintain a feeling of connection to her heritage when it seems that without her mother， she no longer has claim to the Korean half of her identity。 Major themes include grief， family， and identity。 Zauner takes us through her chil This is the memoir of a woman with a close but complicated relationship with her mother dealing with the feelings brought on by her death。 Zauner anchors the narrative in food， especially the food of her mother's homeland - Korea。 Learning to cook Korean food helps her maintain a feeling of connection to her heritage when it seems that without her mother， she no longer has claim to the Korean half of her identity。 Major themes include grief， family， and identity。 Zauner takes us through her childhood， where she went from a clingy momma's girl to a rebellious teen。 Then into her adult years as she established independence， pursued a music career， and took steps to repair the strained relationship with her parents。 And then comes the months during which she moves home to become a caretaker while her mother battles cancer。 This might be a difficult， although perhaps cathartic， read for anyone who has lost their mother or watched a loved one suffer from cancer。 Lastly， Zauner takes us through several trips to Korea in the aftermath of her mother's passing: first with her father to try to re-establish their relationship without her mother as the glue that held them together。 Then with her husband on a belated honeymoon seeing all the sights that her mother had hoped to see with her before she got too sick。 Lastly， as a successful musician on a tour through Asia。 I am now curious about the band Zauner plays in， Japanese Breakfast。 I may have to check out some of their music。 。。。more
Reference
google book https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=Crying in H Mart
hathitrust digital library https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/ls?q1=Crying in H Mart&field1=ocr&a=srchls&ft=ft&lmt=ft
The British Library https://bll01.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/discovery/search?query=any,contains,Crying in H Mart&tab=LibraryCatalog&search_scope=Not_BL_Suppress&vid=44BL_INST:BLL01&lang=en&offset=0