You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother: Understanding and Healing for Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
- Downloads：6947
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2021-06-28 08:51:12
- Update Date：2025-09-07
- Status：finish
- Author：Danu Morrigan
- ISBN：1506462154
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
Exposing the hidden but devastating condition of narcissistic mother's syndrome。
Reviews
Lora
，
As a therapist， I would absolutely recommend this book to women with narcissistic mothers。 It is a terrible pain to have a mother who does not and cannot love you。 Knowing you’re not alone and it’s not your fault is critical。 Thank you Danu for sharing what you’ve learned with the rest of us。
Kayo
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Much needed。 I've read many books about mothers and narcissism and this book is very comprehensive。 Very impressive。 Thanks to author， publisher and NetGalley for the chance to read this book。 While I got the book for free， it had no bearing on the rating I gave it。 Much needed。 I've read many books about mothers and narcissism and this book is very comprehensive。 Very impressive。 Thanks to author， publisher and NetGalley for the chance to read this book。 While I got the book for free， it had no bearing on the rating I gave it。 。。。more
Tia
，
Quick unedited thoughtsSuch a valid and necessary book。 After listening to this topic on YT， from many different people， this book explained it best。 I believe because the author lived it。 She has also listened to others and heard their stories。 To understand you have to have lived it。 Others may empathize， but truly understand。。I don’t think it’s possible。 The damage these mothers do is life long。 It never goes away。 Only the strong survive it。 I could not put this book down。 I finished 70% in Quick unedited thoughtsSuch a valid and necessary book。 After listening to this topic on YT， from many different people， this book explained it best。 I believe because the author lived it。 She has also listened to others and heard their stories。 To understand you have to have lived it。 Others may empathize， but truly understand。。I don’t think it’s possible。 The damage these mothers do is life long。 It never goes away。 Only the strong survive it。 I could not put this book down。 I finished 70% in one sitting。 I felt seen and heard， finally。 I will reread this book， I’m sure， over and over。 It’s probably the most highlighted and noted kindle book I’ve ever read。 I skimmed over the tapping method。 It probably works， but I will have to revisit that part。 I highly recommend！ 。。。more
Nikki
，
This is not a clinical book like a text book， which is what I was looking for。 It's a more personal look with anecdotes and examples， then appropriate definitions used when needed。 It's interesting and if you are/were a daughter of a narcissistic mother， somethings will hit home for you。 This is not a clinical book like a text book， which is what I was looking for。 It's a more personal look with anecdotes and examples， then appropriate definitions used when needed。 It's interesting and if you are/were a daughter of a narcissistic mother， somethings will hit home for you。 。。。more
Lily
，
I gave up the last hour of the book （audible listen）。 This book was decent enough， but as others have said， it was not written by a professional and falls back only on her own experiences with a NM。 As an LISW-S， it concerns me a little than an unlicensed person is trying to peddle stuff that isn’t evidenced based。 Otherwise， much of the book resonated with my own personal experiences。
Sojourner
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I feel very seen
Bev Simon
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Very insightful readMade perfect sense to me， as my mother has this disorder but was never diagnosed。。。。。all my siblings would agree but they also suffer from some form of disorder。
Tori
，
The audacity and shame I felt buying a book with such a title melted away when I started reading。 The activities at the end of the book， with the tapping， were a bit weird for me。 But the rest of the book highlights an issue I need to address。
Gizzard
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Good overview， jumps around a bit。
Seanbob Kelly
，
No holes barred book for children of Narcissists。 My sister recommended this book to me and it opened my eyes to all of our shared suffering。
Sarasaeed
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*BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU READ THIS BOOK*the book very informative and comes from an experienced， yet the language used in the book could be toxic to some if not read it carefully。You can tell that it's a language of a truamatized daughter （ as we all are ） not written in professional which may lead to negative or opposite results to some of the readersWhat i like about the book that it explains a lot of what's going on between a mother and daughter that i can relate to and now I'm looking for more *BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU READ THIS BOOK*the book very informative and comes from an experienced， yet the language used in the book could be toxic to some if not read it carefully。You can tell that it's a language of a truamatized daughter （ as we all are ） not written in professional which may lead to negative or opposite results to some of the readersWhat i like about the book that it explains a lot of what's going on between a mother and daughter that i can relate to and now I'm looking for more professional help 。。。more
lala
，
This book was warm and validating and truly puts words to the absurdity of the narcissistic mother。 Too short and with a large focus on EFT。 Bonus points for mentioning “fleas，” so often left out of self help books- that survivors can emulate narcissistic behaviors because they were “raised” by narcissists， and bonus points for mentioning that yes- two narcissists can get married and get along together as an abusive parent team！！！！ So often self help books always claim that only codependents and This book was warm and validating and truly puts words to the absurdity of the narcissistic mother。 Too short and with a large focus on EFT。 Bonus points for mentioning “fleas，” so often left out of self help books- that survivors can emulate narcissistic behaviors because they were “raised” by narcissists， and bonus points for mentioning that yes- two narcissists can get married and get along together as an abusive parent team！！！！ So often self help books always claim that only codependents and narcissists go together， but it is absolutely true that narcissistic flock together also。 。。。more
Nicole
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Must Read！！！I would've given this book between 4 and 4。5 stars。 If you are a daughter of narcissistic mother （ NDP Personality） then this book is very eye opening。 I've been researching for years， trying to figure out what's wrong with my mom and why she acts and does what she does。 This book Definitely explains the NDP Personality in great depth and helps you with different scenarios on how to deal with her when she does certain things like goes into a rage， or discredits you and your memory re Must Read！！！I would've given this book between 4 and 4。5 stars。 If you are a daughter of narcissistic mother （ NDP Personality） then this book is very eye opening。 I've been researching for years， trying to figure out what's wrong with my mom and why she acts and does what she does。 This book Definitely explains the NDP Personality in great depth and helps you with different scenarios on how to deal with her when she does certain things like goes into a rage， or discredits you and your memory regarding the past and anything wrong she's ever done。 Since narcissists are never wrong， 🙄they are actually "perfect" in their eyes。 Another eye roll She rewrites history which has made me feel utterly and hopelessly crazy at times So this book explains everything and teaches you how to deal and heal， and gives u many options to choose from。 。。。more
Adelline
，
I listened to this as an audio book。 The realisation that my mother is a narcissist is not new to me so I have read other books by "professionals" with psychology education。 The format of the book being from someone （bitter） like me really worked for me。 Both the author and I have narcissistic mother's and have casually read about narcissism but neither of us are trained professionals。 I rate this book much higher than the books authored by professionals。 This book mentions Emotional Freedom Tec I listened to this as an audio book。 The realisation that my mother is a narcissist is not new to me so I have read other books by "professionals" with psychology education。 The format of the book being from someone （bitter） like me really worked for me。 Both the author and I have narcissistic mother's and have casually read about narcissism but neither of us are trained professionals。 I rate this book much higher than the books authored by professionals。 This book mentions Emotional Freedom Technique which I came across over ten years ago when I realised that my mother was not just weird but was diagnostically weird。 I have always struggled to take the Emotional Freedom Technique seriously and this book made no difference。 The other parts of the book are so relatable that I wish that it ended before mentioning Emotional Freedom Technique because I hate the idea of giving this book a lower rating but I have to because Emotional Freedom Technique is mentioned。 The other reason I have to deduct points is because the author encourages readers to go online to do quizzes （which other reviewers mentioned cost money）。 The author Danu has obviously had a hard time dealing with a narcissistic parent。 That is described immediately very well and in a relatable way however there is a story Danu tells wedged between the really bad stuff that pales in comparison that played with my head a bit。 Another reviewer writes that it lowered the credibility and I agree。 However if you feel like you want to relate your experiences to another daughter of a narcissistic mother then this book might be for you。 The book focuses on the behaviour more than what you can do about it。 This book was a helpful reminder to me later in my journey of realising I have a narcissistic mother。 The book reminded me to stand by my choices。 I know my review includes some positive things as well as negative things about the book which might make it seem unworthy of the 4 stars I rated it。 My written review and the stars is meant to be used in combination， the stars doesn't necessarily reflect my written review。 The option to write a review enables me to explain why the book is missing a star。 I believe the negative things I wrote about is worthy of deducting one star and the good stuff in the book is worthy of 4 stars。 I actually listened to the book twice and might listen to it again。 I would recommend this book to friends， family and strangers on the internet。 。。。more
Paula Hartharn-Evans
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A very interesting and thought provoking book。 Not a book everyone will feel they need to read but I got a lot from it。
Lola Moses
，
A very informative book about family trauma。 I could completely relate to this amazing book。 A must read for anyone healing or trying to pull themselves out of this constant toxic life and move into a healthier life and heal the deep wounds from the past。 It helped me truly feel like I wasn't "crazy" for the first time in my adult life。 A must read for family members of those who have grown up in a reality of a narcissistic parent。 It helps those supporting the individual who was traumatized in A very informative book about family trauma。 I could completely relate to this amazing book。 A must read for anyone healing or trying to pull themselves out of this constant toxic life and move into a healthier life and heal the deep wounds from the past。 It helped me truly feel like I wasn't "crazy" for the first time in my adult life。 A must read for family members of those who have grown up in a reality of a narcissistic parent。 It helps those supporting the individual who was traumatized in their healing and to fully understand and gently work through this as a TEAM。 。。。more
Gary Brigden
，
Definitely recommended readingJust finished reading this for the second time。 It could literally be written about me。 I found it fascinating， helpful， sad， insightful and also humorous。。。。definitely recommended reading for anyone with a narcissistic mother。。。。
Courtney
，
I listened to this as an audiobook and am incredibly grateful for the validation and help it provided。 I have yet to listen to the chapters on eft but will do so soon。
Zhenzhen Xiang
，
Wow。 So much grief and insights。 I picked up this book by chance while I was reading a list of books recommended for Daughters who suffer from narcissistic mothers。 And wow is this book a pleasant surprise。 I’ve been in therapy for about 3 years now。 And I’m slowly， very slowly breaking contact from my narc family。 This book came in handy when I just had gone No Contact from my family。 The author describes the inner experience and thought processes and feelings of DONMs so well。 It’s as if she c Wow。 So much grief and insights。 I picked up this book by chance while I was reading a list of books recommended for Daughters who suffer from narcissistic mothers。 And wow is this book a pleasant surprise。 I’ve been in therapy for about 3 years now。 And I’m slowly， very slowly breaking contact from my narc family。 This book came in handy when I just had gone No Contact from my family。 The author describes the inner experience and thought processes and feelings of DONMs so well。 It’s as if she can read my mind。 As I come to learn， it’s no surprising how Narc moms use strikingly similar techniques to belittle and guilt and devalue their daughters and destroy their sense of self。 I appreciate the abundant empathy and understanding displayed by the author， who is a fellow survivor of Narc Mothers。 It’s a short read， but well worth the time。To my suspicion and surprise， I tried the EFT（emotional freedom technique ） recommended by the author。 And it is surprisingly working bit and bit especially with the detailed scripts the author offered。 I’m so glad I have found and read this book， and now I might go back and revisit parts of the book。 And the hardest part for me will be to commit to practicing the EFT on a daily basis。 I hope I will get there。Thank you Danu。 。。。more
Jaketta Gaines-Davis
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RelievedVery easy and informative read。 Ms。 Morrigan relays painful stories in a kind， and truthful way， while offering hope of change with changed behavior。
Marie
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Literally life- changing。 I don't have to write anything else because I will never forget this day I read this book。 Thank you always to Jeff for getting it on kindle and thinking to casually mention it to me…。。I have NEVER felt so understood and validated in my life。 Literally life- changing。 I don't have to write anything else because I will never forget this day I read this book。 Thank you always to Jeff for getting it on kindle and thinking to casually mention it to me…。。I have NEVER felt so understood and validated in my life。 。。。more
Charlotte Jones
，
Unless you’ve been through this type of trauma and abuse， you wouldn’t believe or understand the complex ptsd it causes， and the way it is effects every single aspect of your life。 This book does touch on the psychological consequences of being raised by a narcissistic mother。 That being said， if you hadn’t already carried out prior research and understanding into this type or upbringing， I don’t think this is necessarily the right book to fill in the gaps。 I felt this book was over generalised Unless you’ve been through this type of trauma and abuse， you wouldn’t believe or understand the complex ptsd it causes， and the way it is effects every single aspect of your life。 This book does touch on the psychological consequences of being raised by a narcissistic mother。 That being said， if you hadn’t already carried out prior research and understanding into this type or upbringing， I don’t think this is necessarily the right book to fill in the gaps。 I felt this book was over generalised and the approach was aggressive rightly or wrongly towards the healing process。 If this was the first book you picked up to delve into your traumatic childhood I feel it would be negatively triggering and not so helpful。 As Danu is not a qualified mental health professional， her writing must only be read as personal or relayed experiences and the book lacked any proper resources other than the constant referral to her website （whilst this is still a valid resource， it is not a referral to mental health charities or more in depth explanations of the personality disorder） I read Danu’s letters before reading this book and I must admit I preferred the more gentle and supportive style of writing and found it a lot more digestible， helpful and comforting。 。。。more
S。 Gregory
，
I cannot recommend this book enough。 Other reviewers have slammed the author and her website for others reasons and provided a bad review for the book。 I have not gone to the website and am not here to review that。 I grew up with a narcissistic mother and an enabling father。 Almost every example the author mentions in this book， I have experienced and it feels so liberating to finally be able to put a name on what was happening。 A light has been shed on so many childhood （and adult） experiences I cannot recommend this book enough。 Other reviewers have slammed the author and her website for others reasons and provided a bad review for the book。 I have not gone to the website and am not here to review that。 I grew up with a narcissistic mother and an enabling father。 Almost every example the author mentions in this book， I have experienced and it feels so liberating to finally be able to put a name on what was happening。 A light has been shed on so many childhood （and adult） experiences with my mother。 Luckily， I was her only daughter but I don't think that my brothers got away without any harm。 I've always known something wasn't right， spoke out against her， but truly had nothing to go on besides instinct。 I went "low contact" for years before I came to the decision to go "no contact" which is really the only way to deal with a narcissist。 While this book has illuminated so many truths， I wish I had discovered it sooner as I ended up figuring most things out for myself。 If nothing else， it has encouraged me to write my own story。 5/5。 。。。more
Sue
，
Everything makes sense， I’m not alone with this。 I could have written it myself - nodding all through it in agreement
Hulda
，
In many ways enlightening， but more about overt narcissism than covert narcissism。 I feel this book could have easily been about narcissistic parents and their children， rather than just mothers and daughters。 In that way I found the book a bit limited。 However， it does offer helpful advice， although I'm doubtful that one of those， the EFT method， is the cure-all solution the author believes it to be。 All in all， it's well written， and even entertaining。 I just wanted more。 In many ways enlightening， but more about overt narcissism than covert narcissism。 I feel this book could have easily been about narcissistic parents and their children， rather than just mothers and daughters。 In that way I found the book a bit limited。 However， it does offer helpful advice， although I'm doubtful that one of those， the EFT method， is the cure-all solution the author believes it to be。 All in all， it's well written， and even entertaining。 I just wanted more。 。。。more
Heather J
，
As a licensed professional counselor， I found this book to be disturbing。 It feels like it may misguide those looking to heal from maternal narcissism because it is written like someone processing through their angry emotions。 It sounds like a book report someone did where they regurgitated everything they found on the internet on the subject that fit their personal narrative， whether factual or not。 The author creates terms that she states， "we call this。。。" and I'm wondering who "we" is consid As a licensed professional counselor， I found this book to be disturbing。 It feels like it may misguide those looking to heal from maternal narcissism because it is written like someone processing through their angry emotions。 It sounds like a book report someone did where they regurgitated everything they found on the internet on the subject that fit their personal narrative， whether factual or not。 The author creates terms that she states， "we call this。。。" and I'm wondering who "we" is considering she has no credentials nor does she site a single evidence-based resource or site other than the DSM and her own forum site。 After seeing some of the comments about the author's chapter on EFT， all I can say is that this would be something you should do with an actual therapist or better yet find yourself an EMDR therapist because having a narcissistic parent is traumatic and healing requires deeper work not just a self-help book， especially not one like this。 。。。more
Pocket Watch Purveyor
，
This book is terrible。 Filled with inaccuracies and false information。 There are so many books available on this subject that are helpful。 This isn't one of them。 AVOID！ This book is terrible。 Filled with inaccuracies and false information。 There are so many books available on this subject that are helpful。 This isn't one of them。 AVOID！ 。。。more
J Taylor
，
The author is not a mental health professional， but everything in her book is correct。As the scapegoat daughter of a narcissistic mother who is the ringleader of a narcissistic family， I recommend this book to all DONMs。
Caroline Stehle
，
DNF， did not like how it was written。 Seemed bitter， rather than healing。
Megan Wheat
，