Nonfiction

The Cost of Living

The Cost of Living

  • Downloads：2020
  • Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
  • Create Date：2021-05-28 11:55:34
  • Update Date：2025-09-06
  • Status：finish
  • Author：Deborah Levy
  • ISBN：0241977568
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Summary

From the twice-Man Booker Prize-shortlisted author of Hot Milk and Swimming Home :

Dazzling， essential， entirely unlike anything else -- a memoir on modern womanhood， rejecting oppressive social expectations and turning instead towards a thrilling， transformative freedom

What does it mean to be free - as an artist， a woman， a mother or daughter？ And what is the price of that freedom？

In this dazzling memoir， Deborah Levy confronts the essential questions of modern womanhood with humour， pragmatism， and profoundly resonant wisdom。 Reflecting on the period when she wrote the Man Booker Prize-shortlisted Hot Milk - when her mother was dying， her daughters were leaving home， her marriage was coming to an end - she is characteristically eloquent on the social expectations and surreal realities of daily life。 And expanding far beyond these bounds， she describes a uniquely frank， wise and thrilling manifesto for female experience: embracing the exhilarating terror of freedom， seeking to understand what that freedom could mean and how it might feel。

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Reviews

Geir Ertzgaard ，

For en nydelig hverdagslig bok om hverdagslige ting som skinner som en stjerne。 Essayaktig memoar om livet etter 50。

Stefan Szczelkun ，

I was enjoying Deborah’s clever poetic banter when the book rose a whole sweep up when she began to write about her mother’s death 118 pages in。 Whereas the previous thoughts about her collapsed marriage seemed missing in something， when relief from the pain of it is irony， the thoughts about she and her mother at the time of her death become dense， intense， crystalline， and astute about our relationship with our mothers。"Yet， if she comes too close， she suffocates us， infecting our fragile cour I was enjoying Deborah’s clever poetic banter when the book rose a whole sweep up when she began to write about her mother’s death 118 pages in。 Whereas the previous thoughts about her collapsed marriage seemed missing in something， when relief from the pain of it is irony， the thoughts about she and her mother at the time of her death become dense， intense， crystalline， and astute about our relationship with our mothers。"Yet， if she comes too close， she suffocates us， infecting our fragile courage with her contagious anxiety。" p。120 It rang so true for me me as son as well。 My mother died at the end of last year so I suppose that helps… The sketch that then emerges of her mum is so powerful。 The anecdote of the ice lolly from the corner shop run by Turkish brothers is perfectly pitched to transcend continents and bring us into a common release of grief。 “Always in cities， far off distant sound that resembles the sea， yet is just life， more life。” p。131 I could think it drips with resonances because I knew the author and we had such great conversations， that’s not the reason that the text seems so intimate， looking at the 708 reviews on Goodreads I know that thousands now have had my experience。 Spinoza is right - diverse as we are， we all have the same emotional make-up。A further discharge of grief comes as Debs is doing a reading and is surprised by her own writing - a poignant moment of contact with her mother。 Little acts that seem so mundane are all key moments of living our life and as important as anything。She quotes Audre Lorde: “I am a reflection of my mothers secret poetry as well as her hidden anger。” （1982） Then she describes her mothers biro’d X on a postcard from South Africa to indicate where she was staying。 I will never see an X on a postcard without it being touched with the spatial magic that is unfolded。Disorientated we all are， when landmarks evaporate as we give ourselves over to digital SATNAV guidance。 But I’m wary digital Luddite-ism… I have also been taken on picaresque routes guided by artless satellite navigation。 The book loses its way at bit as she drifts out of the grieving period。 But there is still all the witty banter and reader satisfactions she can craft。 And I end wanting the next book。 。。。more

Kalindi Fonda ，

I like the trip。 It's dreamy and flowy。 I like the trip。 It's dreamy and flowy。 。。。more

Julia Cooper ，

Not what I would ordinarily reach for， but would recommend！

Clara Rands ，

OBSESSED with this book。 It also includes my favourite quote from Kierkegaard's work。 OBSESSED with this book。 It also includes my favourite quote from Kierkegaard's work。 。。。more

Sara ，

A sharp， witty and insightful look at the spaces women occupy， how we build an identity， and what comes after grief， separation and loss。 Deborah Levy also writes beautifully about literature， and about writing to make a living （Reminded me a bit of Scratch， although Scratch is much more "down to earth"）。 A sharp， witty and insightful look at the spaces women occupy， how we build an identity， and what comes after grief， separation and loss。 Deborah Levy also writes beautifully about literature， and about writing to make a living （Reminded me a bit of Scratch， although Scratch is much more "down to earth"）。 。。。more

Helena ，

I agree with some other reviewers that this book is well-written， Levy's voice is engaging， her observations smart and eloquently put。 But ultimately her insights into being a middle-aged woman trying to forge a new， 'freer' （her word） life after her divorce and her mother's death are really nothing new – this is the lived reality of many women， dare I say people， the world over， whether they are working writers or not。 In the end， the book felt （and I am sorry to say it） rather pointless。 I agree with some other reviewers that this book is well-written， Levy's voice is engaging， her observations smart and eloquently put。 But ultimately her insights into being a middle-aged woman trying to forge a new， 'freer' （her word） life after her divorce and her mother's death are really nothing new – this is the lived reality of many women， dare I say people， the world over， whether they are working writers or not。 In the end， the book felt （and I am sorry to say it） rather pointless。 。。。more

Isha ，

Philosophical， phenomenological， a prized addition to the readings on feminist consciousness。 Deborah's sentences take my breath away and open up the anatomy of heartbreak， messiness， and all things with faultlines that people rarely talk about - divorce， building a new life when no map has been given， resisting the imposition of the idea of "woman" by society even as one is lost and figuring their way， coping with the loss of a mother。 Deborah does not give us a roadmap either， she just takes u Philosophical， phenomenological， a prized addition to the readings on feminist consciousness。 Deborah's sentences take my breath away and open up the anatomy of heartbreak， messiness， and all things with faultlines that people rarely talk about - divorce， building a new life when no map has been given， resisting the imposition of the idea of "woman" by society even as one is lost and figuring their way， coping with the loss of a mother。 Deborah does not give us a roadmap either， she just takes us along as she goes through it all herself， and on the way we experience with her the strangeness of her world， and through her， we find the words for the things we find strange ourselves。 I had a deep urge to hug the author after reading the last sentence of her book。 Next up， all her novels！！！ 。。。more

Neha Sharma ，

Finished reading this in less than 24 hours！ Such a lovely prose！ Words in their barest form without adornment， words that are thought-provoking， words that soothe you， words that you can relate to， and what not。 Didn't know that I needed this book so much at this point of time in my life。 Finished reading this in less than 24 hours！ Such a lovely prose！ Words in their barest form without adornment， words that are thought-provoking， words that soothe you， words that you can relate to， and what not。 Didn't know that I needed this book so much at this point of time in my life。 。。。more

Kate ，

From FT weekend

Evie ，

"To separate from love is to live a risk-free life。 What's the point of that sort of life？"A gorgeous book on reimagining life， womanhood and how facing the tempest can lead to brighter days。 "To separate from love is to live a risk-free life。 What's the point of that sort of life？"A gorgeous book on reimagining life， womanhood and how facing the tempest can lead to brighter days。 。。。more

Eustacia Tan ，

So this was my book club’s latest pick！ I don’t read much memoir， so I was excited to dive into this！The Cost of Living is what Levy calls a “living memoir”， capturing a period of time after her divorce。 So the first thing to note （and this is something the whole book club agreed on）， is that the language is absolutely beautiful。 I read it twice， in fact， one to get to know the book and one to pick out quotes I liked。 Here are some sentences that I thought were beautiful:“It had not occurred to So this was my book club’s latest pick！ I don’t read much memoir， so I was excited to dive into this！The Cost of Living is what Levy calls a “living memoir”， capturing a period of time after her divorce。 So the first thing to note （and this is something the whole book club agreed on）， is that the language is absolutely beautiful。 I read it twice， in fact， one to get to know the book and one to pick out quotes I liked。 Here are some sentences that I thought were beautiful:“It had not occurred to him that she might not consider herself to be the minor character and him the major character。 In this sense， she had unsettled a boundary， collapsed a social hierarchy， broken with the usual rituals” Me: SO TRUE“To strip the wallpaper off the fairy tale of The Family House in which the comfort and happiness of men and children have been the priority is to find behind it an unthanked， unloved， neglected， exhausted woman” “To separate from love is to live a risk-free life” Me: I agree but the rest of the chapter seems to look at romantic love and neglects other types of love？ So what kind of love is she referring to？“As Simone de Beauvoir had told us， women are not supposed to eclipse men in a world in which success and power are marked out for them。 […] The pain of the contemporary middle-aged male who， having failed to entirely suppress women， perceived himself as disempowered is a delicate matter。 Their women lie delicately for them。” Regarding this quote – I read somewhere that this book is a sort of response to Simone de Beauvoir’s The Second Sex。 I think this is why I was， despite the fact， somewhat dissatisfied with the book – more on that after two more quotes。“What do we need dreamy mothers for？ We do not want mothers who gaze beyond us， longing to be elsewhere， we need her to be of this world， lively， capable， entirely present to our needs。“Did I mock the dreamer in my mother and then insult her for having no dreams？” I mentioned in between the quotes that I was somewhat dissatisfied with the book， and that is because I never really knew what the book wanted to be。 It’s more vague than a regular memoir （for example， we don’t know much about her daughters， other than she has them， or why she divorced her husband） and while Levy makes very good observations about womanhood， it never really rises above the level of observations。 Was this supposed to be a feminist work exploring the nature of what it means to be a woman？ Or was this a memoir？ The book seemed to straddle both categories in a rather dissatisfying way。We did discuss this at our book club， and our conclusion was that this vagueness was probably intentional， to allow the reader to put themselves in Levy’s shoes more effectively。 I can’t say I like it （because I would have loved for this to have more feminist discussion） but I understand where it’s from。Overall， this is a beautifully written work that should be read and accepted for what it is。 If you’re going to pick it up， don’t expect a book that hews to the conventions of a memoir or regular essay/nonfiction and I think you’ll enjoy the book。 。。。more

Aline São Thiago ，

What a book！ This book goes through Levy's life， her marriage break up and the death of her mother。 I believe it's an essential book because talks about motherhood， patriarchal society， grief， feminism in a well-written style。 "It is so mysterious to want to suppress women。 It is even more mysterious when women want to suppress women。 I can only think that we are so very powerful that we need to be suppressed all the time。" What a book！ This book goes through Levy's life， her marriage break up and the death of her mother。 I believe it's an essential book because talks about motherhood， patriarchal society， grief， feminism in a well-written style。 "It is so mysterious to want to suppress women。 It is even more mysterious when women want to suppress women。 I can only think that we are so very powerful that we need to be suppressed all the time。" 。。。more

Dragana ，

I like non-classifiable books。 I like this writer's style。 I like the theme。 Short but substantial。 I like non-classifiable books。 I like this writer's style。 I like the theme。 Short but substantial。 。。。more

Stephanie ，

Perfect

Anastasia ，

4。5 *

Natasja | natasjalovesbooks ，

4。5

Cathy Grieve ，

This was a little gem。 Beautifully written， emotionally intelligent， the story of marriage breakdown， motherhood， friendship and dogged determination to define one’s self and survive。 Not for everyone I believe， a love it or nah next type of book。 I look forward to more from Ms Levy。

Rebecca ，

“The Cost of Living” is the second of Deborah Levy’s working autobiographical publications。 I enjoyed it for the most part， but found some of the essays to be unrelatable for me personally。 I’ll probably go back and read the first in the series at some point as this was an enjoyable 3 star read for me。My full review: https://whatrebeccasread。wordpress。co。。。 “The Cost of Living” is the second of Deborah Levy’s working autobiographical publications。 I enjoyed it for the most part， but found some of the essays to be unrelatable for me personally。 I’ll probably go back and read the first in the series at some point as this was an enjoyable 3 star read for me。My full review: https://whatrebeccasread。wordpress。co。。。 。。。more

Elizabeth Cruikshank ，

“It was not that easy to convey to him， a man much older than she was， that the world was her world too。”Subtitled “A Working Autobiography，” THE COST OF LIVING is Deborah Levy’s memoir of the time immediately after the end of her marriage and a meditation on her desire to be a “major character” in her own life。 Through a series of vignettes and short essays， Levy explores the myriad ways women are erased and their identities subsumed into their relational titles: wife， mother， daughter， widow。 “It was not that easy to convey to him， a man much older than she was， that the world was her world too。”Subtitled “A Working Autobiography，” THE COST OF LIVING is Deborah Levy’s memoir of the time immediately after the end of her marriage and a meditation on her desire to be a “major character” in her own life。 Through a series of vignettes and short essays， Levy explores the myriad ways women are erased and their identities subsumed into their relational titles: wife， mother， daughter， widow。 She observes women of all ages who push back on those societal expectations and insist on having their voices heard and their spaces respected。Levy’s writing is exquisite。 She is so gifted at crafting standalone sentences that are moving and profound without being trite。 She also has a gift for balancing serious topics with humor—her voice is so compelling。 Thematically， I was especially touched by her depiction of her loving final days with her dying mother and by her discussion of her attempts to navigate being both a mother and a creator， the push and pull of those roles。Overall this work felt a bit scattered， more a series of reflections than a coherent structured whole。 And at times the insights felt less than revolutionary; a lot of these themes seem like fairly well-trodden ground at this point。I was reminded a bit of the writing style of Rachel Cusk， though I haven’t read her nonfiction yet。 And I’m eager to read more by Levy and to linger over more of her prose。 。。。more

Valérie Forgues ，

"Dans mon adolescence， la plupart des disputes avec ma mère concernaient mes goûts vestimentaires。 Elle était déroutée de voir tout ce que j'extériorisais de mon intériorité。 Elle n'arrivait plus à communiquer et ne me reconnaissait pus。 Et c'était bien le but。 Je créais un personnage plus courageux que moi。" "Dans mon adolescence， la plupart des disputes avec ma mère concernaient mes goûts vestimentaires。 Elle était déroutée de voir tout ce que j'extériorisais de mon intériorité。 Elle n'arrivait plus à communiquer et ne me reconnaissait pus。 Et c'était bien le but。 Je créais un personnage plus courageux que moi。" 。。。more

Ravina Jain ，

I’m not sure what I read。。。this book was likely over my head but I really wouldn’t know what to say if I had to summarize the book

Khy Lovegood ，

Deborah Levy is hauntingly a beautiful writer。 The words in this book cut deep， for the first time in my life I wanted to mark a book with the lines that mark the chasm the words created in my heart。 Wow， just wow。

Karen ，

I'm partial to female memoirs， especially ones with an intimate and harsh language of relationship and living。 I'm partial to female memoirs， especially ones with an intimate and harsh language of relationship and living。 。。。more

Max Lever ，

Splendid meditative read on a woman’s journey through misogyny， relationships， and depression。

Sarah ，

A different style of writing to the first part of Levy 's memoir， which disappointed me at first。 This book is more intellectual and some of her ideas are difficult to fully grasp。 It is also about a completely different period of her life。 However， in the end I appreciated this as much as the first one。 Some phrases are so beautiful and so exactly express the idea。 Admirable writing。 A different style of writing to the first part of Levy 's memoir， which disappointed me at first。 This book is more intellectual and some of her ideas are difficult to fully grasp。 It is also about a completely different period of her life。 However， in the end I appreciated this as much as the first one。 Some phrases are so beautiful and so exactly express the idea。 Admirable writing。 。。。more

Caro ，

"Woorden kunnen alles wat ertoe doet verhullen。""Als je het behang verwijdert van het sprookje van Het Gezinshuis waarin het comfort en het geluk van mannen en kinderen altijd prioriteit zijn geweest， tref je daarachter een niet gewaardeerde， onbeminde， verwaarloosde， uitgeputte vrouw aan。 Het vereist talent， tijd， toewijding en empathie om een thuis te creëren waar iedereen zich prettig voelt en dat goed functioneert。 Het is bovenal een daad van immense gulheid om de architect te zijn van eenie "Woorden kunnen alles wat ertoe doet verhullen。""Als je het behang verwijdert van het sprookje van Het Gezinshuis waarin het comfort en het geluk van mannen en kinderen altijd prioriteit zijn geweest， tref je daarachter een niet gewaardeerde， onbeminde， verwaarloosde， uitgeputte vrouw aan。 Het vereist talent， tijd， toewijding en empathie om een thuis te creëren waar iedereen zich prettig voelt en dat goed functioneert。 Het is bovenal een daad van immense gulheid om de architect te zijn van eenieders welzijn。 Deze taak wordt nog altijd voornamelijk gezien als vrouwenwerk。 Met als gevolg dat er allerlei woorden zijn die worden gebruikt om deze enorme onderneming te bagatelliseren。""Wanneer een vrouw een nieuw bestaan moet zien op te bouwen en breekt met het maatschappelijke verhaal dat haar naam heeft uitgewist， wordt er van haar verwacht dat ze vol zelfhaat zit， buiten zinnen is van de pijn， tranen vergiet van spijt。 Dit zijn de edelstenen die voor haar gereserveerd zijn in de kroon van het patriarchaat， altijd en eeuwig beschikbaar。 Tranen zijn er genoeg， maar het is beter om door de zwartblauwige duisternis te lopen dan te streven naar die waardeloze edelstenen。" 。。。more

Laura ，

Absolutely phenomenal。 Can't believe I've only just discovered Levy's work。 Absolutely phenomenal。 Can't believe I've only just discovered Levy's work。 。。。more

Korkor Kanor ，

A dynamic read that is thematic in its delivery; this story addresses belonging， divorce， parenting and grief with candour and comfort。 Name-dropping authors that range from Proust to Plath （but holds particular reverence for Emily Dickinson）， Levy introduces a self-assessment on the page that is both polished and precious。 A series of characters also compliment the very fluid storytelling approach that Levy has conquered with ease。 Short but excellent read that I would recommend to all。

Georgia ，

i really think that deborah levy and rachel cusk should be best friends （although deborah seems like she would be much more up for the sesh）

Reference

google book https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=The Cost of Living

hathitrust digital library https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/ls?q1=The Cost of Living&field1=ocr&a=srchls&ft=ft&lmt=ft

The British Library https://bll01.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/discovery/search?query=any,contains,The Cost of Living&tab=LibraryCatalog&search_scope=Not_BL_Suppress&vid=44BL_INST:BLL01&lang=en&offset=0