Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life
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- Create Date：2021-05-24 10:51:28
- Update Date：2025-09-07
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- Author：Luke Burgis
- ISBN：1250262488
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Summary
A groundbreaking exploration of why we want what we want， and a toolkit for freeing ourselves from chasing unfulfilling desires。
Gravity affects every aspect of our physical being， but there's a psychological force just as powerful – yet almost nobody has heard of it。 It's responsible for bringing groups of people together and pulling them apart， making certain goals attractive to some and not to others， and fueling cycles of anxiety and conflict。 In Wanting， Luke Burgis draws on the work of French polymath René Girard to bring this hidden force to light and reveals how it shapes our lives and societies。
According to Girard， humans don't desire anything independently。 Human desire is mimetic – we imitate what other people want。 This affects the way we choose partners， friends， careers， clothes， and vacation destinations。 Mimetic desire is responsible for the formation of our very identities。 It explains the enduring relevancy of Shakespeare's plays， why Peter Thiel decided to be the first investor in Facebook， and why our world is growing more divided as it becomes more connected。
Wanting also shows that conflict does not arise because of our differences--it comes from our sameness。 Because we learn to want what other people want， we often end up competing for the same things。 Ignoring our large similarities， we cling to our perceived differences。
Drawing on his experience as an entrepreneur， teacher， and student of classical philosophy and theology， Burgis shares tactics that help turn blind wanting into intentional wanting – not by trying to rid ourselves of desire， but by desiring differently。 It's possible to be more in control of the things we want， to achieve more independence from trends and bubbles， and to find more meaning in our work and lives。
The future will be shaped by our desires。 Wanting shows us how to desire a better one。
Gravity affects every aspect of our physical being， but there's a psychological force just as powerful – yet almost nobody has heard of it。 It's responsible for bringing groups of people together and pulling them apart， making certain goals attractive to some and not to others， and fueling cycles of anxiety and conflict。 In Wanting， Luke Burgis draws on the work of French polymath René Girard to bring this hidden force to light and reveals how it shapes our lives and societies。
According to Girard， humans don't desire anything independently。 Human desire is mimetic – we imitate what other people want。 This affects the way we choose partners， friends， careers， clothes， and vacation destinations。 Mimetic desire is responsible for the formation of our very identities。 It explains the enduring relevancy of Shakespeare's plays， why Peter Thiel decided to be the first investor in Facebook， and why our world is growing more divided as it becomes more connected。
Wanting also shows that conflict does not arise because of our differences--it comes from our sameness。 Because we learn to want what other people want， we often end up competing for the same things。 Ignoring our large similarities， we cling to our perceived differences。
Drawing on his experience as an entrepreneur， teacher， and student of classical philosophy and theology， Burgis shares tactics that help turn blind wanting into intentional wanting – not by trying to rid ourselves of desire， but by desiring differently。 It's possible to be more in control of the things we want， to achieve more independence from trends and bubbles， and to find more meaning in our work and lives。
The future will be shaped by our desires。 Wanting shows us how to desire a better one。
Reviews
Miraculous
，
The book was an interesting read。 I especially liked the figures and images in this book because it makes it more interesting and fun to read。
Jesse
，
Interesting self-help book that examines why we want what we want and how to become more mindful of it。
Mara
，
Wanting by Luke Burgis is an accessible， thought-provoking book about Mimetic Desire， explaining why we want what we want and our pursuit to get those things。 Mimetic theory identified by 20th century philosopher， Rene Girard， is based around the idea that humans imitate each other， thus mimetic desire means that we want things simply because others want them。 Most of the content in the book echoes Girard’s theories on a variety of topics related to Mimetic theory。 I found it fascinating to cons Wanting by Luke Burgis is an accessible， thought-provoking book about Mimetic Desire， explaining why we want what we want and our pursuit to get those things。 Mimetic theory identified by 20th century philosopher， Rene Girard， is based around the idea that humans imitate each other， thus mimetic desire means that we want things simply because others want them。 Most of the content in the book echoes Girard’s theories on a variety of topics related to Mimetic theory。 I found it fascinating to consider how much we are influenced by each other and moderate our behavior according to the perception of others。 I especially liked the parts that focused on our polarized identities and how scapegoats have been used throughout human history。 So much is related to our group identity and our desire to differentiate from each other。 Though， only a small part of the book， I think my biggest takeaway may be about disruptive empathy and how powerful it can be to change perception of another person。 Disruptive empathy occurs when we empathize and show vulnerability with someone we perceive as outside of our group， say someone who shares opposing political beliefs。 Ultimately， Burgis emphasizes re-orienting ourselves and our goals to focus on thick desires vs。 thin desires， e。g。 what actually brings you deeper fulfillment in life vs。 a superficial desire that only gives you a brief reward。 Overall， Luke Burgis synthesizes information and anecdotes in fascinating and readable way， much like Malcolm Gladwell。 I loved the narration by Luke Burgis and Sean Patrick Hopkins。 Their voices were perfect for the content and kept me interested。 Thank you St。 Martin’s Press / Macmillan Audio for providing this e-book and audiobook ARC。 。。。more
James Gribble
，
I have been trying to find this book for a while as a guide to life。We so often discount the power of our minds and social networks。I would be interested in such a book on the power of the placebo on our health。
Tricia S。
，
Mimetic Theory。 So if I'm getting this right Luke Burgis is saying that the desires we have is not something we actually want。 It's something that someone else wants。 We see a commercial and cause someone on that commercial wants what that commercial is about， we will want that thing too？ Ooo is that why when we're in a relationship we seem to get hit on more then ever before but when we are single it's like no one wants us。 That may be a lame way of thinking about it but it's how I understand i Mimetic Theory。 So if I'm getting this right Luke Burgis is saying that the desires we have is not something we actually want。 It's something that someone else wants。 We see a commercial and cause someone on that commercial wants what that commercial is about， we will want that thing too？ Ooo is that why when we're in a relationship we seem to get hit on more then ever before but when we are single it's like no one wants us。 That may be a lame way of thinking about it but it's how I understand it。 This is starting to make sense to me。 Well done Luke Burgis， you taught an old dog new tricks。 Honestly at first I almost fell asleep listening to this audio but if you listen more you will get into。 I'm glad I was able to listen to thus audio， thank you #NetGalley #MacmillanAudio 。。。more
Claire
，
This was an incredible read， I highly recommend it。 I am usually a fiction reader but I love the occasional "big idea" book。 This one is unique。 It's "big" -- big but engrossing and totally relatable。 The book stays snappy thanks to the author's comfortable voice and creative storytelling。Wanting is about a theory of the French philosopher/polymath Rene Girard， called Mimetic Desire， and our lives。 It may sound esoteric-- but it's universal。 It means， basically， that we want what other people wa This was an incredible read， I highly recommend it。 I am usually a fiction reader but I love the occasional "big idea" book。 This one is unique。 It's "big" -- big but engrossing and totally relatable。 The book stays snappy thanks to the author's comfortable voice and creative storytelling。Wanting is about a theory of the French philosopher/polymath Rene Girard， called Mimetic Desire， and our lives。 It may sound esoteric-- but it's universal。 It means， basically， that we want what other people want， but because other people want it。 We are constantly looking to models （classmates， celebrities， colleagues） to shape our desires。 Burgis is able to do what I find to be the gold standard in nonfiction- taking heady ideas and presenting them in a way that allowed me to instantly draw connections to their relevance and impacts in my own life。 Burgis clearly shows-- through stories from his life， fascinating anecdotes of people living and in history， literature， biology， and even business-- what mimetic desire is， how pervasive it is in our lives， and some of the dangers of living unattuned to its existence。 Not to leave us hanging， the second half of the book points to how we can use our knowledge of this imitative type of desire to help quiet some of the mimetic noise in our busy lives and focus， on what he calls， "thick desires。"I would recommend this book to anyone， but especially anyone looking to gain deeper understanding of themselves and our society， and looking to take hold of their future。 Beautifully done。 。。。more
Nima Morgan
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A fascinating book about how to explain our " wants" or mimetic desires。 Mr。 Burgis places a name on what and why we want the things we want。 It was a very interesting read。 Basically giving a name to what drives us to do what we do and want what we want， or human nature。 Thank you to the publisher and Net Galley for and e-ARC for a review。 #NetGalley #STMartinsPress。 A fascinating book about how to explain our " wants" or mimetic desires。 Mr。 Burgis places a name on what and why we want the things we want。 It was a very interesting read。 Basically giving a name to what drives us to do what we do and want what we want， or human nature。 Thank you to the publisher and Net Galley for and e-ARC for a review。 #NetGalley #STMartinsPress。 。。。more
Amanda T
，
This book isn't about research done by Burgis - he's based most of the book on the work of Rene Girard。 Burgis interviews some people who fit with Girard's mimetic theory， such as the Michelin Star chef who asked not to be considered for the Michelin Guide。 That was the most interesting one and it's the best example of why what you think you want isn't necessarily going to make you happy。 He also uses an example from his own life in which he lined up a sale to Zappos which ultimately fell throug This book isn't about research done by Burgis - he's based most of the book on the work of Rene Girard。 Burgis interviews some people who fit with Girard's mimetic theory， such as the Michelin Star chef who asked not to be considered for the Michelin Guide。 That was the most interesting one and it's the best example of why what you think you want isn't necessarily going to make you happy。 He also uses an example from his own life in which he lined up a sale to Zappos which ultimately fell through。 What I found is amusing is that Zappos was sold to Amazon - which he quietly mentions。 For all it's wonderful Zappos culture， they ended up selling out to Amazon。 I found there was one glaring omission in the book: where is role of advertising when it comes to mimetic desire？ Remember the ads for kids cereal from the '80s？ You wanted it because the kid on TV was eating it （Mikey - remember Mikey's Life cereal？）。 There's no mention at all of advertising for explaining what we want or why we want it。I also had trouble with the scapegoat section - I understand what Burgis was trying to say， but stating that Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos was a scapegoat？ Um， nope。 She was a fraud - she was peddling a product that didn't work and she knew it。 His example of Holmes modelling herself after Steve Jobs， who himself modelled himself after someone he met in school does work as an example of modelling， but not as a scapegoat。 I also didn't understand the frat boy pool party analogy and why it needed to be included。 A really solid real life example would have been better such as， Lehman Brothers - how they became the scapegoat for the entire subprime mortgage crisis and financial meltdown of 2008。I like the idea of writing down your Fulfillment Stories to figure out what your motivations are。 I'll take the free assessment online and decide if I'm going to purchase the companion book （this section is also based on another author's theory）。 Although， if I really think about it， I'm fairly certain I can figure out what my own motivations are， but I'll do the assessment anyway。Nitpicks about the book itself: the illustrations are hand drawn， very small and difficult to read。 The Mimetic Matrix on page 197 （of my ARC） is so tiny， I gave up trying to decipher it。There are a couple of interesting tidbits in this book， but I maintain that I'm not the target audience。 The target audience would be considerably younger， impressionable and swayed by friends and influencers。 And that isn't me。 。。。more
Mack Bowen
，
Cant wait for this book release！ Such an important topic
Grady Connolly
，
Luke Burgis is an exceptional writer and thought leader on the topic of mimetic desire。 Reading this book is a MUST for those looking to understand why we want what we want。 In a hyper-connected world， Wanting provides groundbreaking applications of Renè Girard's work to the modern world。 I am eager to see these ideas shape the mindsets and philosophies of our future leaders， and start much needed conversations around the world。 Luke Burgis is an exceptional writer and thought leader on the topic of mimetic desire。 Reading this book is a MUST for those looking to understand why we want what we want。 In a hyper-connected world， Wanting provides groundbreaking applications of Renè Girard's work to the modern world。 I am eager to see these ideas shape the mindsets and philosophies of our future leaders， and start much needed conversations around the world。 。。。more
Elisabeth
，
I wanted to like this book more than I did。 I found myself fascinated by the ideas at the onset， and will certainly continue to use and think about some of the information。。 I appreciate the inspiration to consider what I have wanted， currently want， and will want。。。 and why。 However， I also found myself frustrated throughout the read by the delivery of the ideas， and the lack of coherency and logic of conclusions。 It was a case of: I love the ideas here， and I wish that it had been edited more。 I wanted to like this book more than I did。 I found myself fascinated by the ideas at the onset， and will certainly continue to use and think about some of the information。。 I appreciate the inspiration to consider what I have wanted， currently want， and will want。。。 and why。 However， I also found myself frustrated throughout the read by the delivery of the ideas， and the lack of coherency and logic of conclusions。 It was a case of: I love the ideas here， and I wish that it had been edited more。 （I did read an early copy， so my assumption is that grammar/copy edits and visuals becoming more readable will be made before final print。） I wanted to see more logic to transitions and explanation of why some pieces were being shared。。 landing the ideas。 That said: I think thinking of mimetic desire and its affect on myself and everyone around me will be something I continue to noodle on for some time。 。。。more
Hannah Cernicky
，
When I started this book， I noticed in the preface， the author made large claims， that this work could be life changing。 As a solid Enneagram 6， I took note with skepticism， and read on。 This book explains The Theory of Mimetic Desire developed by Rene Girard， how this theory influences society and life， and how one might learn from and use it to grasp its effect and potentially reorient one’s direction accordingly。 Sort of like explaining what wind is， how it has shaped landmarks， ocean current When I started this book， I noticed in the preface， the author made large claims， that this work could be life changing。 As a solid Enneagram 6， I took note with skepticism， and read on。 This book explains The Theory of Mimetic Desire developed by Rene Girard， how this theory influences society and life， and how one might learn from and use it to grasp its effect and potentially reorient one’s direction accordingly。 Sort of like explaining what wind is， how it has shaped landmarks， ocean currents， and aviation， and then teaching the reader how to adjust their sails in the direction they want to go。 The writing is easy to understand and the author skilled in communicating complex concepts。 The sequence of the book is logical， and each component is accompanied by many of the author’s personal antidotes as well as many references to popular figures such as Steve Job， Annie Dillard， Ferrari and Lamborghini， Tony Hsieh， and many more。 Each story was interesting， and the detail was engrossing。 This style reminded me a lot of Malcom Gladwell and Susan Caine。 This book is extremely relevant and timely， asking and answering， “Why do we want the things that we want？” After a breaking down of the theory in smaller bite size pieces， the author goes on to make suggestions， on how this can effect business leaders， politics， social media， religion， management， teachers， parents， and families。 We all have models， people who tell us what is worth wanting or not， and we all have values， that properly recognized and ranked can reveal so much about us and what makes life fulfilling。 I recommend this book to anyone who is interested in the why behind our desires。 It turns out the claims the author made in the beginning were more true than not， the ideas and 15 Tactics the author lays out has the potential to be life changing and helpful if embraced。 。。。more
Hannah Cernicky
，
When I started this book， I noticed in the preface， the author made large claims， that this work could be life changing。 As a solid Enneagram 6， I took note with skepticism， and read on。 This book explains The Theory of Mimetic Desire developed by Rene Girard， how this theory influences society and life， and how one might learn from and use it to grasp its effect and potentially reorient one’s direction accordingly。 Sort of like explaining what wind is， how it has shaped landmarks， ocean current When I started this book， I noticed in the preface， the author made large claims， that this work could be life changing。 As a solid Enneagram 6， I took note with skepticism， and read on。 This book explains The Theory of Mimetic Desire developed by Rene Girard， how this theory influences society and life， and how one might learn from and use it to grasp its effect and potentially reorient one’s direction accordingly。 Sort of like explaining what wind is， how it has shaped landmarks， ocean currents， and aviation， and then teaching the reader how to adjust their sails in the direction they want to go。 The writing is easy to understand and the author skilled in communicating complex concepts。 The sequence of the book is logical， and each component is accompanied by many of the author’s personal antidotes as well as many references to popular figures such as Steve Job， Annie Dillard， Ferrari and Lamborghini， Tony Hsieh， and many more。 Each story was interesting， and the detail was engrossing。 This style reminded me a lot of Malcom Gladwell and Susan Caine。 This book is extremely relevant and timely， asking and answering， “Why do we want the things that we want？” After a breaking down of the theory in smaller bite size pieces， the author goes on to make suggestions， on how this can effect business leaders， politics， social media， religion， management， teachers， parents， and families。 We all have models， people who tell us what is worth wanting or not， and we all have values， that properly recognized and ranked can reveal so much about us and what makes life fulfilling。 I recommend this book to anyone who is interested in the why behind our desires。 It turns out the claims the author made in the beginning were more true than not， the ideas and 15 Tactics the author lays out has the potential to be life changing and helpful if embraced。 。。。more
Melissa McGuire
，
I wasn’t expecting a great read when I started the book。 Once I started I couldn’t put it down。 It was funny and now that I finished it， this book still has me questioning things。
Tamzen
，
"Wanting" dives right into something I had never thought about before-mimetic desire， AKA the fact that everything we want is based on what other people want。 That in itself was really interesting to read about。 Burgis uses personal stories and anecdotes of others （like Ferrari and Lamborghini） to convey and explain mimetic desire and how it works in terms that are fairly easy to understand。 Sometimes I have a hard time powering through nonfiction， researched books， so I appreciated the brevity "Wanting" dives right into something I had never thought about before-mimetic desire， AKA the fact that everything we want is based on what other people want。 That in itself was really interesting to read about。 Burgis uses personal stories and anecdotes of others （like Ferrari and Lamborghini） to convey and explain mimetic desire and how it works in terms that are fairly easy to understand。 Sometimes I have a hard time powering through nonfiction， researched books， so I appreciated the brevity and succintness of this book。 The first half discusses what exactly mimetic desire is， while the second half goes on about how to reorient your desires to be less about you mimicking others' desires and more about what you yourself desires。 A good read for someone interested in how society works， and wants to carve out a life that is more fulfilling for themselves。Thank you to Netgalley for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review！ 。。。more
Lydia Wallace
，
A groundbreaking exploration of why and how we come to want what we want， and a toolkit for freeing ourselves from chasing unfulfilling desires。 This author really opened my eyes involving my nineteen year old daughter who is a college student。 She is so undecided about her future and her goals。 I can see her being influenced by her friends who themselves have no solid， realistic and well thought out goals。 I gave this book to her because I think it will really open her eyes as to how to set goa A groundbreaking exploration of why and how we come to want what we want， and a toolkit for freeing ourselves from chasing unfulfilling desires。 This author really opened my eyes involving my nineteen year old daughter who is a college student。 She is so undecided about her future and her goals。 I can see her being influenced by her friends who themselves have no solid， realistic and well thought out goals。 I gave this book to her because I think it will really open her eyes as to how to set goals within her ability to achieve。 I can't wait for your next book。 I highly recommend this informative book。 。。。more
John
，