Divergent Mind: Thriving in a World That Wasn't Designed for You
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- Create Date：2021-05-16 08:51:16
- Update Date：2025-09-06
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- Author：Jenara Nerenberg
- ISBN：0062876805
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Summary
AUDIBLE EDITOR'S PICK
A paradigm-shifting study of neurodivergent women—those with ADHD， autism， synesthesia， high sensitivity， and sensory processing disorder—exploring why these traits are overlooked in women and how society benefits from allowing their unique strengths to flourish。
As a successful Harvard and Berkeley-educated writer， entrepreneur， and devoted mother， Jenara Nerenberg was shocked to discover that her “symptoms”--only ever labeled as anxiety-- were considered autistic and ADHD。 Being a journalist， she dove into the research and uncovered neurodiversity—a framework that moves away from pathologizing “abnormal” versus “normal” brains and instead recognizes the vast diversity of our mental makeups。
When it comes to women， sensory processing differences are often overlooked， masked， or mistaken for something else entirely。 Between a flawed system that focuses on diagnosing younger， male populations， and the fact that girls are conditioned from a young age to blend in and conform to gender expectations， women often don’t learn about their neurological differences until they are adults， if at all。 As a result， potentially millions live with undiagnosed or misdiagnosed neurodivergences， and the misidentification leads to depression， anxiety， low self-esteem， and shame。 Meanwhile， we all miss out on the gifts their neurodivergent minds have to offer。
Divergent Mind is a long-overdue， much-needed answer for women who have a deep sense that they are “different。” Sharing real stories from women with high sensitivity， ADHD， autism， misophonia， dyslexia， SPD and more， Nerenberg explores how these brain variances present differently in women and dispels widely-held misconceptions （for example， it’s not that autistic people lack sensitivity and empathy， they have an overwhelming excess of it）。
Nerenberg also offers us a path forward， describing practical changes in how we communicate， how we design our surroundings， and how we can better support divergent minds。 When we allow our wide variety of brain makeups to flourish， we create a better tomorrow for us all。
A paradigm-shifting study of neurodivergent women—those with ADHD， autism， synesthesia， high sensitivity， and sensory processing disorder—exploring why these traits are overlooked in women and how society benefits from allowing their unique strengths to flourish。
As a successful Harvard and Berkeley-educated writer， entrepreneur， and devoted mother， Jenara Nerenberg was shocked to discover that her “symptoms”--only ever labeled as anxiety-- were considered autistic and ADHD。 Being a journalist， she dove into the research and uncovered neurodiversity—a framework that moves away from pathologizing “abnormal” versus “normal” brains and instead recognizes the vast diversity of our mental makeups。
When it comes to women， sensory processing differences are often overlooked， masked， or mistaken for something else entirely。 Between a flawed system that focuses on diagnosing younger， male populations， and the fact that girls are conditioned from a young age to blend in and conform to gender expectations， women often don’t learn about their neurological differences until they are adults， if at all。 As a result， potentially millions live with undiagnosed or misdiagnosed neurodivergences， and the misidentification leads to depression， anxiety， low self-esteem， and shame。 Meanwhile， we all miss out on the gifts their neurodivergent minds have to offer。
Divergent Mind is a long-overdue， much-needed answer for women who have a deep sense that they are “different。” Sharing real stories from women with high sensitivity， ADHD， autism， misophonia， dyslexia， SPD and more， Nerenberg explores how these brain variances present differently in women and dispels widely-held misconceptions （for example， it’s not that autistic people lack sensitivity and empathy， they have an overwhelming excess of it）。
Nerenberg also offers us a path forward， describing practical changes in how we communicate， how we design our surroundings， and how we can better support divergent minds。 When we allow our wide variety of brain makeups to flourish， we create a better tomorrow for us all。
Reviews
Sara
，
"Underneath， we are all more similar than we realize， but we don't talk about it， so no one knows it，" p。 208This book is so important， not just for readers who are neurodiverse， but also for those who are "neurotypical，" in that this book speaks to acceptance， openness， and embracing our differences。 In a world where everyone can be themselves， we all benefit。 I learned a lot about just how hard it is， for women， in particular， to find the right diagnosis for what they're struggling with and th "Underneath， we are all more similar than we realize， but we don't talk about it， so no one knows it，" p。 208This book is so important， not just for readers who are neurodiverse， but also for those who are "neurotypical，" in that this book speaks to acceptance， openness， and embracing our differences。 In a world where everyone can be themselves， we all benefit。 I learned a lot about just how hard it is， for women， in particular， to find the right diagnosis for what they're struggling with and that having the right diagnosis can make a world of difference。 But this book isn't about diagnosing so much as recognizing difference in one's self and that this is okay， even a strength。 The world is built for a specific type of person in mind and when we say anyone outside that "norm" is other or ill or not normal， then we keep real progress， innovation， and wellness from occurring。 This book also briefly covers just how warped the history of mental illness and diagnosis is， how the way we treat people based on their "illness" or the way we word things can keep people from accepting themselves or embracing themselves。 So many "illnesses" are misunderstood or not complete enough that many people are living with them and don't even know they have them。 This book works to combat this issue and promotes awareness and acceptance for people who are neurodiverse。 If you have always felt you were different， but couldn't put a finger on it or even if you think "that could never be me， I'm not x，y，z" it might be because the medical world hasn't fully recognized certain illnesses or because stereotypes have shrouded the reality of certain illnesses。 This book takes a close look at what ADHD， HSP， SPD， Autisme， and others look like， particularly in women。 I would definitely recommend reading this book。 It's kind， thoughtful， and thought-provoking！ 。。。more
Nicole
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This book made so many things that never made sense finally make sense。
Corene
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Thankful for Jenara's work Thankful for Jenara's work 。。。more
Mel Ecker
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Disappointed but still glad I read it！ Learned a lot about sensory processing including about many tools for better accommodating people who experience sensory sensitivities。 Wish it went beyond how you can “thrive in a world that wasn’t designed for you” to further challenge the ableism built into this world。
Matsuko Friedland
，
It was alright。 Easy read， maybe a good introduction to the concept of neurodiversity。 Mentioned some books I will take a look at。 I wish it were more organized and didn't use the term Asperger's so much， or at least talked about the controversy around that term。 It was alright。 Easy read， maybe a good introduction to the concept of neurodiversity。 Mentioned some books I will take a look at。 I wish it were more organized and didn't use the term Asperger's so much， or at least talked about the controversy around that term。 。。。more
Miriam
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Loved this book， so many revelations about my own way of thinking and processing sensory input。 Helped me feel more compassionate towards myself and my own limitations --especially as a parent。
Kaylee Hoppin
，
This book is exceptional！ It found me at the perfect time in my life。 I highly recommend this for any woman who has recently been diagnosed with ADHD， autism， or any other sensory condition。 This is also great if you're concerned that you may have one of these conditions。 I wouldn't recommend for anyone with a high knowledge of all of this but it's perfect for a beginner！ It gives basic explanation of the neurological differences we experience。 This book can be great for managers， teachers， or a This book is exceptional！ It found me at the perfect time in my life。 I highly recommend this for any woman who has recently been diagnosed with ADHD， autism， or any other sensory condition。 This is also great if you're concerned that you may have one of these conditions。 I wouldn't recommend for anyone with a high knowledge of all of this but it's perfect for a beginner！ It gives basic explanation of the neurological differences we experience。 This book can be great for managers， teachers， or anyone else who may encounter someone with sensory processing issues and doesn't know how to help :） 。。。more
Vicki
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I really hoped for more from this book， but it’s just an overlength “Cosmo”-type article。 Want to know what the trendy neurodiverse woman is thinking / feeling this season？ Look no further！ But if you’re actually interested in this topic beyond a women’s magazine level of superficiality （and if you’re neurodivergent， chances are you are）， you’ll need to look elsewhere。
September
，
Life。 Changing！As Nerenberg described her own experience researching for this book， after reading it， I also feel seen。 Throughout my life， so much that I had been disparaged for， that I had been ashamed of， that I didn't understand about myself all begins to make sense。 I wish so very much that I had known these things sooner。 Now， I can laugh off some of what's been said/claimed about me。 I can have understanding and compassion for those who responded as they did， knowing we were both in the d Life。 Changing！As Nerenberg described her own experience researching for this book， after reading it， I also feel seen。 Throughout my life， so much that I had been disparaged for， that I had been ashamed of， that I didn't understand about myself all begins to make sense。 I wish so very much that I had known these things sooner。 Now， I can laugh off some of what's been said/claimed about me。 I can have understanding and compassion for those who responded as they did， knowing we were both in the dark。 I can appreciate my quirks， because now I can see & celebrate the gifts I also have。 In the years to come， I hope that acceptance & celebration of neurodiversity continues to grow， and that we begin to see this play out in every facet of society， as a result。 。。。more
Deb Lonnon
，
Easy to read， well set out， a mix of stuff I knew， stuff I suspected and a little bit of stuff that was new。 Achingly earnest in places， but that's OK。 I'm well aware that women with neuro conditions are often undiagnosed because of different presentation to the norm - the 'norm' being men。。🙄 I wasn't quite as aware of the limitations of the DSM in terms of male diagnosis and enjoyed the exploration of a diagnosis of HSP （highly sensitive person） but it didn't quite hit the mark for me in terms Easy to read， well set out， a mix of stuff I knew， stuff I suspected and a little bit of stuff that was new。 Achingly earnest in places， but that's OK。 I'm well aware that women with neuro conditions are often undiagnosed because of different presentation to the norm - the 'norm' being men。。🙄 I wasn't quite as aware of the limitations of the DSM in terms of male diagnosis and enjoyed the exploration of a diagnosis of HSP （highly sensitive person） but it didn't quite hit the mark for me in terms of what next， other than 'everyone has to do better about this' which， yes， they do - but as a policy person I want 'how' to follow the why。 If you think you might be a woman in possession of a neurological condition， you may find this helpful as there is a range of explanations from ASC/ADHD/HSP/ Sythesthetic people about how their brains work and how they see the world， which might ping-on some。lights for you， so worthwhile for that alone。。 。。。more
Allyson （bookstaandbujo）
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Read for the synesthesia aspect。 Not sure of rating but interesting overall。 I listened on audio which I feel was a great format — felt like a conversational podcast which was nice。
Fate's Lady
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Relatable for me personally but not very broadly useful for women from different social classes or with different levels of social "functionality"。 I enjoyed reading it myself but probably wouldn't be able to recommend it generally as a resource。 Relatable for me personally but not very broadly useful for women from different social classes or with different levels of social "functionality"。 I enjoyed reading it myself but probably wouldn't be able to recommend it generally as a resource。 。。。more
Mary Foxe
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This book is specifically for women who discovered as adults they were neurodivergent。 As such， this is an excellent resource for those in that group who are new to learning about neurodivergence。
Claire Willeford-Carrillo
，
I noticed that reviews skewed toward finding this book simplistic， but I think I am just the novice-to-this-material audience that the author has in mind。 After I got used to her writing style， I thoroughly enjoyed this book！ It has so many gems of information that are new to me。 As someone who grew up understanding from the adults around me that I was gifted and highly sensitive — and in a family where nearly everyone has some sort of ADHD or ASD diagnosis— it is so interesting to start to look I noticed that reviews skewed toward finding this book simplistic， but I think I am just the novice-to-this-material audience that the author has in mind。 After I got used to her writing style， I thoroughly enjoyed this book！ It has so many gems of information that are new to me。 As someone who grew up understanding from the adults around me that I was gifted and highly sensitive — and in a family where nearly everyone has some sort of ADHD or ASD diagnosis— it is so interesting to start to look more into the nitty-gritty of how all of this truly has affected my daily life as an adult。 I appreciate the author’s lens of normalizing， and not pathologizing， neurodiversity。Additionally， I like how she takes some time to discuss trauma。 I’ve been reading a lot about the interplay of biology and environment， and as someone who has experienced significant violence and abuse it has been hard at times to understand if it’s even possible to separate those factors out from each other。 This author interviews other academics on this topic ， and has some things to say herself。 I appreciate this:“Since ‘trauma-informed care’ has become a recent buzzword， I also bring up the topic of trauma。 The awareness of trauma and how it affects people’s lives has been fundamental and important， but problems have sprung up—mainly a kind of mindset that wants to attribute everything to trauma， as though some kind of ‘normal’ exists that everyone would return to if they just resolved all their trauma or didn’t experience any childhood hardship to begin with。 This perspective is in danger of replicating the simplicity of past theoretical frameworks。 There can be natural variation in the human species—as the neurodiversity framework suggests—and on top of that， some people may experience trauma。 The integration of both viewpoints and frameworks is what is important and necessary。” 。。。more
Jess MacMillan
，
I picked up this book as my nephew is on the autism spectrum and I find that I have some similarities to him that the rest of my family seem to think are oddities。 I did find this book helpful as it gave me language to describe certain things， and actually gave me more confidence in setting needed boundaries。 I was able to communicate better with a family member about why hugs are too much for me sometimes。 I do feel like this was a great introduction book and I am excited to be able to find mor I picked up this book as my nephew is on the autism spectrum and I find that I have some similarities to him that the rest of my family seem to think are oddities。 I did find this book helpful as it gave me language to describe certain things， and actually gave me more confidence in setting needed boundaries。 I was able to communicate better with a family member about why hugs are too much for me sometimes。 I do feel like this was a great introduction book and I am excited to be able to find more reads to understand myself and my nephew more。 。。。more
Ashley
，
Interesting and provocative， this documentary of neuro-diversity includes memoir， history， finger-wagging at the current medical and psychoanalytical community， and future activism strategy。 Heavy-handed at times but altogether left with many things to think about。
Etiene Dalcol
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Great book for foundations of understanding the implications of some types of neurodiversity in women。 I especially liked the information on sensory things， how it's common in many different disorders， and how this can concretize in the day-to-day。 I feel I learned a lot with this book about things I should watch out for。 There's definitely a lot of things that I don't notice are causing me distress and this was great for becoming more aware。However， it's a very bad book for offering solutions。 Great book for foundations of understanding the implications of some types of neurodiversity in women。 I especially liked the information on sensory things， how it's common in many different disorders， and how this can concretize in the day-to-day。 I feel I learned a lot with this book about things I should watch out for。 There's definitely a lot of things that I don't notice are causing me distress and this was great for becoming more aware。However， it's a very bad book for offering solutions。 I have the impression that the target audience of this book are people from highly privileged backgrounds who can do all sorts of therapies or career changes without financial worries， and have an ample network of support。 While the many cases told about different women paint a positive picture of what is possible， it is rather frustrating to realize none of that is applicable to you。 It's a great book if you got by in life somewhat， and is wondering why do you struggle with this or that aspect of life， but are not under intense suffering or in need of solutions， just looking for answers。 It answers why the world is not designed for you， and sort of fails at the "thriving" part。 But then again， pointing out problems is easy and offering solutions is hard。 For that， I preferred the book "Journeys through ADDulthood"。I also want to caution people about this book not being apropriate to be read by people who are suffering and wondering what is wrong with them。 It has a lot of alternative takes on disorders not being disorders but "just different"， which doesn't really apply if you are suffering， unsupported， and in a stage before diagnosis or medication。 Self-acceptance is great， but is meant for a different stage。 I can clearly see this book having the effect of encouraging people to white knuckle through serious issues instead of asking for medical support。 Not that the medical support is great， it's certainly deeply fucked， but it's important to not absorb a mantra that you would be 100% fine if only the world was a bit better designed and that you are not in fact in need of help。 Definitely get help for the big stuff first， and only then this book could be useful for fine-tuning upon that。 I am glad I read other materials on this topic first because it could have had a deep negative effect on me had I read it earlier。 。。。more
Laura
，
The first few chapters are very helpful for those who want an updated view of neurodivergence， especially as it relates to adult women and misdiagnosis。 The book covers everything under the umbrella from sensory processing to Autism to ADHD。 While many of these concerns are related， in covering so much it does not delve very deep into any one area， which if your interest is focussed on purely ADHD for example， can be frustrating。 Nerenberg's critique of gender bias in the established research is The first few chapters are very helpful for those who want an updated view of neurodivergence， especially as it relates to adult women and misdiagnosis。 The book covers everything under the umbrella from sensory processing to Autism to ADHD。 While many of these concerns are related， in covering so much it does not delve very deep into any one area， which if your interest is focussed on purely ADHD for example， can be frustrating。 Nerenberg's critique of gender bias in the established research is on point， as is her criticism of access to assessment and treatment in the current healthcare system。 The final chapters of the book focus more on structural changes that indeed can make the work experiences more equitable for neurodivergent folks， but if you are looking for individual practical tips to get through your day and work life right now you should know this is not the focus here。 The reviewers frustrated with the class privileging in both education （lots of references to Ivy league grads who didn't know they were Neurodivergent） and employment in white collar jobs with a baseline amount of agency and leverage are not wrong- it's there in spades and makes the book overall less relatable outside that bubble。 Nevertheless， as a recently diagnosed adult woman the book was helpful in validating my own experience as real in a world that resists such difference。 。。。more
Simone
，
Wow this book was a fascinating read。 It's also opened up a whole new perspective to view the way I interact with the world， one I'd never considered before。 Far from adding another label， I feel empowered by reading this。 I'm excited to reflect more on the different ways my neurodiversity has impacted my experience of life and how I can thrive going forward。 Wow this book was a fascinating read。 It's also opened up a whole new perspective to view the way I interact with the world， one I'd never considered before。 Far from adding another label， I feel empowered by reading this。 I'm excited to reflect more on the different ways my neurodiversity has impacted my experience of life and how I can thrive going forward。 。。。more
Vickie
，
The book has encouraged me to work with my wiring， not against it。 I am even more committed to good noise-cancelling headphones， feel less guilty about my occasional bouts of sensory overwhelm， and have since purchased a weighted blanket。 I've had an ADHD （inattentive type） diagnosis for over a decade， and have since made many friends who are various types of neurodivergent。 The framework through which Nerenberg worked to understand neurodivergence has helped me make sense of the sometimes confu The book has encouraged me to work with my wiring， not against it。 I am even more committed to good noise-cancelling headphones， feel less guilty about my occasional bouts of sensory overwhelm， and have since purchased a weighted blanket。 I've had an ADHD （inattentive type） diagnosis for over a decade， and have since made many friends who are various types of neurodivergent。 The framework through which Nerenberg worked to understand neurodivergence has helped me make sense of the sometimes confusing overlap amongst different diagnosis， and sees ND as potential strengths that can be harnessed when better understood。 Another book that had given me a similar sense of "this can be the opposite of a disability" was Faster Than Normal: Turbocharge Your Focus， Productivity， and Success with the Secrets of the ADHD Brain。 In contrast to Faster than Normal， which was much more about hacks that。。。 Probably work best just for Shankman and men like Shankman， Nerenberg's book is focused on women （not a criticism of Shankman， they each wrote from their own perspective）， and includes interviews and research that have furthered my understanding of my own wiring。 。。。more
Agnieska Ieva Banaite
，
I have listened to it on the Audible。 Sometimes was very realistic and with beautiful life examples。 Also was provided with advice and exercises to help yourself if there is a need。
Sandy
，
Fascinating look at the neuro-diversity！
Elizabeth Ann
，
I'm grateful to have read this！ I found this book to be insightful， enlightening， validating and helpful in knowing which steps I should take on my journey。 I'm grateful to have read this！ I found this book to be insightful， enlightening， validating and helpful in knowing which steps I should take on my journey。 。。。more
Tasha
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basic as fck
Emma。catherine
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Although this book had some useful tips I was a little disappointed with the rest of it。 I bought the book hoping for lots of ideas of how to manage life in this world however it seemed more of a book about why and how we should advocate for change。 Not a bad thing but just not what I expected or wanted to take from the book。 It was comforting to read about others that cope with similar experiences on a daily basis however I really would like more advice on how to actually deal with it。
Cory
，
I wanted to like this book， but it felt unnuanced and， at times， unfocused。
Cat
，
Nerenberg’s book is a nonfiction guide for neurodivergent women （and for women who might not yet know whether they consider themselves neurodivergent）， which features interviews with women she calls "sensitive" and accompanying descriptions of autism， Asperger’s， synesthesia， and ADHD， as well as sensory processing “disorder。” Nerenberg puts this last in scare quotes because she questions the norming of sensoria implied by this language。 As Nerenberg observes， “We take the words and definitions Nerenberg’s book is a nonfiction guide for neurodivergent women （and for women who might not yet know whether they consider themselves neurodivergent）， which features interviews with women she calls "sensitive" and accompanying descriptions of autism， Asperger’s， synesthesia， and ADHD， as well as sensory processing “disorder。” Nerenberg puts this last in scare quotes because she questions the norming of sensoria implied by this language。 As Nerenberg observes， “We take the words and definitions [of disorder] for granted， unaware of their histories and unaware of the meanings in which we swim， until at some point in our lives we begin to pull （or push） back” （33）。 In these chapters， each of which tackles a particular diagnosis， though some of the women interviewed have not sought a medical evaluation but instead identify with the category， high-achieving neurodivergent women about their sensory experiences and their trajectory to diagnosis or self-identification。 Nerenberg identifies as neurodivergent， and she uses her personal asides to create a feeling of rapport and recognition with the interview subjects and implicitly the reader。 “She makes me laugh，” Nerenberg observes of one interview subject， “and I feel at home with her because her voice sounds almost exactly like that of my best friend from high school” （101）。 Rather than casting herself as a clinical or journalistic third party， Nerenberg features her own quest for self-definition and fulfillment。 The book has a three-part structure—first， explaining historical bias about mental health and neurotypicality; second， sharing women’s stories and describing the lived experience of diagnostic categories; third and final， offering coping strategies and lifestyle tips。 The tone shifts accordingly， from the introduction where Nerenberg describes her troubling professional experiences and interpersonal tensions to triumphalism of her closing chapters: “We are here to change the narrative， which means to need to boldly embody your neurodivergence—and it’s tremendously helpful for the world to see you in your full joy and happiness。” The structure carries an affirming message: that in spite of the oppressive history that women with sensory differences have been subjected to， in spite of possible personal confusion in the present moment about sense impressions， emotional regulation， and thought processes that seem different from others， the future will bring strategies for thriving as well as solidarity in a neurodivrgent community。I liked that her opening chapter establishes emphatically that psychological diagnoses are shaped by the cultural beliefs （and biases） of their time and that medical language is only one way of imagining neurological difference。 She cites Elaine Showalter's The Female Malady: Women， Madness and English Culture 1830-1980 to discuss the fraught history of women and mental health and to think through the ways that women's somatic and sensory experiences have been gaslit， sidelined， or pathologized。 This sensitivity to language and historical contingency appeals to me as a student of literature and culture， especially since the "autism spectrum" is fundamentally a descriptive rather than prescriptive category。 （In other words， what "autism" means， especially for girls and women， changes all the time and relates to our larger social structure and interpersonal and institutional expectations。）More troublingly， the last section of the book， where Nerenberg offers tips for work and home， lays bare the privilege that shapes her project。 She describes， for example， her “ideal setting” for work as “a quiet， natural light-filled place surrounded by greenery， with easy access to colleagues when needed” （166）。 While she interviews women in the tech industry who have formed neurodivergent work groups， it is hard to imagine a warehouse worker successfully making the same demands。 Scholar Kyla Schuller has written about the way that “sensitivity，” one of Nerenberg’s keywords， functioned in nineteenth-century culture as a barometer of white superiority （The Biopolitics of Feeling: Race， Sex， and Science in the Nineteenth Century）。 Nerenberg largely mentions race as a civil rights analogue to the neurodiversity rights movement; she doesn't talk about whiteness and neurodivergence in her own experience， and she doesn't mention the race of her interview subjects。 Though Nerenberg claims to tell a new story， she tends to think uncritically about categories like prestige and giftedness， and her solutions tend to be individual and consumerist rather than intersectional and communitarian。 。。。more
Zane Carey
，
An interesting read on neurodivergence。 My only note of caution is this is a very personal exploration of research， almost a memoir of a woman exploring neurodivergence and her life。 Not a textbook， not inclusive of everything。 But still a fantastic and personally interesting read。
Rebekah
，
No book has ever helped me understand myself more。 I literally bought this for every woman in my family--i don't think any of us are neuro-typical， but we never had access to language or information to understand why。 I keep pulling this out again and again to explain myself to people， or to explain them to themselves。 I am so very grateful。 Nerenberg's book has changed my life。 No book has ever helped me understand myself more。 I literally bought this for every woman in my family--i don't think any of us are neuro-typical， but we never had access to language or information to understand why。 I keep pulling this out again and again to explain myself to people， or to explain them to themselves。 I am so very grateful。 Nerenberg's book has changed my life。 。。。more
Megan
，