The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World
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- Author：Dalai Lama XIV
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Summary
Two great spiritual masters share their own hard-won wisdom about living with joy even in the face of adversity。
The occasion was a big birthday。 And it inspired two close friends to get together in Dharamsala for a talk about something very important to them。 The friends were His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu。 The subject was joy。 Both winners of the Nobel Prize， both great spiritual masters and moral leaders of our time， they are also known for being among the most infectiously happy people on the planet。
From the beginning the book was envisioned as a three-layer birthday cake: their own stories and teachings about joy， the most recent findings in the science of deep happiness， and the daily practices that anchor their own emotional and spiritual lives。 Both the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu have been tested by great personal and national adversity， and here they share their personal stories of struggle and renewal。 Now that they are both in their eighties， they especially want to spread the core message that to have joy yourself， you must bring joy to others。
Most of all， during that landmark week in Dharamsala， they demonstrated by their own exuberance， compassion， and humor how joy can be transformed from a fleeting emotion into an enduring way of life。
The occasion was a big birthday。 And it inspired two close friends to get together in Dharamsala for a talk about something very important to them。 The friends were His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu。 The subject was joy。 Both winners of the Nobel Prize， both great spiritual masters and moral leaders of our time， they are also known for being among the most infectiously happy people on the planet。
From the beginning the book was envisioned as a three-layer birthday cake: their own stories and teachings about joy， the most recent findings in the science of deep happiness， and the daily practices that anchor their own emotional and spiritual lives。 Both the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu have been tested by great personal and national adversity， and here they share their personal stories of struggle and renewal。 Now that they are both in their eighties， they especially want to spread the core message that to have joy yourself， you must bring joy to others。
Most of all， during that landmark week in Dharamsala， they demonstrated by their own exuberance， compassion， and humor how joy can be transformed from a fleeting emotion into an enduring way of life。
Reviews
ELK
，
A book like this can easily be aggravating， especially on the heels of a dark year。 It’s very easy to bristle at its description early on of “fashionable cynicism”。 After all， I like to think I have earned my cynicism。 But if you can grit your teeth and bear inspiration being shoved down your gullet by the fawning narrator for 300 pages， there are probably worse sources than the Dalai Lama for a little bit of hope and acceptance。Nothing in here is new or revolutionary， but that doesn’t make it a A book like this can easily be aggravating， especially on the heels of a dark year。 It’s very easy to bristle at its description early on of “fashionable cynicism”。 After all， I like to think I have earned my cynicism。 But if you can grit your teeth and bear inspiration being shoved down your gullet by the fawning narrator for 300 pages， there are probably worse sources than the Dalai Lama for a little bit of hope and acceptance。Nothing in here is new or revolutionary， but that doesn’t make it any less worthy。 It is full of gentle reminders， even for fashionably cynical people with every right to their cynicism。 And despite grumpily dragging my heels through this book， I still managed take plenty of notes that will probably do me some good。NotesAs we were saying， if you are setting out to be joyful you are not going to end up being joyful。 You’re going to find yourself turned in on yourself。 It’s like a flower。 You open， you blossom， really because of other people。 And I think some suffering， maybe even intense suffering， is a necessary ingredient for life， certainly for developing compassion。 （Pg。 43）Without stress and opposition， complex life like ours would never have developed。 （Pg。 45） Obsessing about getting what you want and avoiding what you don’t want does not result in happiness。 （Pg。 48） Science has a term for the unsatisfactory nature of pursuing pleasure alone: the hedonic treadmill， named for the Greek school of thought that believed pleasure to be the ultimate good。 （Pg。 55） the concept of Ubuntu。 It says: A person is a person through other persons。 （Pg。 60） Dukkha can be translated as “stress，” “anxiety，” “suffering，” or “dissatisfaction。” It is often described as the mental and physical suffering that occurs in life， illness， and aging。 It is also described as the stress and anxiety that arise from the attempt to control what is fundamentally impermanent and unable to be controlled。 We try to control the moment， which results in our feeling that what is happening should not be happening。 So much of what causes heartache is our wanting things to be different than they are。 （Pg。 87） “We have perceptions about our experience， and we judge them: ‘This is good。’ ‘This is bad。’ ‘This is neutral，’” the Dalai Lama explained。 “Then we have responses: fear， frustration， anger。 We realize that these are just different aspects of mind。 They are not the actual reality。 Similarly， fearlessness， kindness， love， and forgiveness are also aspects of mind。 It is very useful to know the system of emotion and to understand how our mind works。 （Pg。 88） I was struck by the phrase “a vale of growth and development，” which seemed to echo the famous Christian notion that life is a vale， or valley， of tears， from which we are freed only when we enter heaven。 This expression is often said to be based on Psalm 84: 6， which has the beautiful wording: “Who passing through the vale of tears makes it a well。” Indeed， we can use our tears， our stress and frustration， as a well from which we can draw the life-giving waters of our emotional and spiritual growth。 （Pg。 92） “Stress and anxiety often come from too much expectation and too much ambition，” the Dalai Lama said。 “Then when we don’t fulfill that expectation or achieve that ambition， we experience frustration。 Right from the beginning， it is a self-centered attitude。 I want this。 I want that。 Often we are not being realistic about our own ability or about objective reality。 When we have a clear picture about our own capacity， we can be realistic about our effort。 Then there is a much greater chance of achieving our goals。 But unrealistic effort only brings disaster。 So in many cases our stress is caused by our expectations and our ambition。” （Pg。 96） Epel and Blackburn explain that it is not the stress alone that damages our telomeres。 It is our response to the stress that is most important。 They encourage us to develop stress resilience。 This involves turning what is called “threat stress，” or the perception that a stressful event is a threat that will harm us， into what is called “challenge stress，” or the perception that a stressful event is a challenge that will help us grow。 The remedy they offer is quite straightforward。 One simply notices the fight-or-flight stress response in one’s body—the beating heart， the pulsing blood or tingling feeling in our hands and face， the rapid breathing—then remembers that these are natural responses to stress and that our body is just preparing to rise to the challenge。 （Pg。 98） The Dalai Lama then made the subtle and profound connection between fear and anger， explaining how fear underlies anger。 Typically frustration and anger come from being hurt。 The driver hitting his head was an obvious example。 In addition to physical pain， we can also experience emotional pain， which may be even more common。 We want something that we did not get， like respect or kindness， or we get something that we did not want， like disrespect or criticism。 Underlying this anger， the Dalai Lama was saying， is a fear that we will not get what we need， that we are not loved， that we are not respected， that we will not be included。 One way out of anger， then， is to ask， What is the hurt that has caused our anger， what is the fear that we have？ Psychologists often call anger a secondary emotion， because it comes as a defense to feeling threatened。 When we can acknowledge and express the fear—how we are feeling threatened—then we are often able to soothe the anger。 But we need to be willing to admit our vulnerability。 We are often ashamed of these fears and hurts， thinking that if we were invulnerable， we would never experience pain， but this， as the Archbishop said， is not the nature of being human。 If we can have compassion for ourselves， and acknowledge how we feel afraid， hurt， or threatened， we can have compassion for others—possibly even for those who have evoked our anger。 （Pg。 103） “Hope，” the Archbishop said， “is quite different from optimism， which is more superficial and liable to become pessimism when the circumstances change。 Hope is something much deeper。 （Pg。 121） “Despair can come from deep grief， but it can also be a defense against the risks of bitter disappointment and shattering heartbreak。 Resignation and cynicism are easier， more self-soothing postures that do not require the raw vulnerability and tragic risk of hope。 To choose hope is to step firmly forward into the howling wind， baring one’s chest to the elements， knowing that， in time， the storm will pass。” （Pg。 122） The Dalai Lama was describing the Buddhist concept of mudita， which is often translated as “sympathetic joy” and described as the antidote to envy。 Mudita is so important in Buddhism that it is considered one of the Four Immeasurables， qualities we can cultivate infinitely。 The other three are loving-kindness， compassion， and equanimity。 （Pg。 140） “One has learned in very many instances，” he continued， “that for us to grow in generosity of spirit we have to undergo in some way or other a diminishing， a frustration。 You may not always think of it as being so。 There are very few lives that just move smoothly from beginning to end。 They have to be refined。” （Pg。 153） And it seems almost without fail that generosity of spirit requires that we will have experienced if not suffering， then at least frustrations， things that seem to want to stop us from moving in the particular direction that we have chosen。 You don’t move easily， straightforwardly like this。 There are things that force you off course， and you have to come back。”…You have to walk up mountains。 There’s a measure of going against， as it were， your nature。 Your natural longing is to want to sit still。 （Pg。 154） I was quite struck by the Dalai Lama’s phrase of “passing through difficulties。” We often feel that suffering will engulf us， or that the suffering will never end， but if we can realize that it， too， will pass， or as the Buddhists say， that it is impermanent， we can survive them more easily， and perhaps appreciate what we have to learn from them， find the meaning in them， so that we come out the other side， not embittered but ennobled。 The depth of our suffering can also result in the height of our joy。 （Pg。 156） Our body is constantly changing， as is our mind。 Everything is in a constant state of change—nothing remains static， and nothing remains permanent。 In fact， as the Buddha reminds us， the very causes that have given rise to something， such as our life， have created the mechanism， or the seed， for that thing’s eventual end。 Recognizing this truth is an important part of the contemplation on impermanence。 （Pg。 165） The Dalai Lama used the terms wider perspective and larger perspective。 They involve stepping back， within our own mind， to look at the bigger picture and to move beyond our limited self-awareness and our limited self-interest。 Every situation we confront in life comes from the convergence of many contributing factors。 The Dalai Lama had explained， “We must look at any given situation or problem from the front and from the back， from the sides， and from the top and the bottom， so from at least six different angles。 This allows us to take a more complete and holistic view of reality， and if we do， our response will be more constructive。” We suffer from a perspectival myopia。 As a result， we are left nearsighted， unable to see our experience in a larger way。 When we confront a challenge， we often react to the situation with fear and anger。 The stress can make it hard for us to step back and see other perspectives and other solutions。 （Pg。 196） When things go smoothly， then we can pretend we are something very special。 But something happens， something unexpected， then we are forced to act like normal human beings。” （Pg。 205） Acceptance—whether we believe in God or not—allows us to move into the fullness of joy。 It allows us to engage with life on its own terms rather than rail against the fact that life is not as we would wish。 It allows us not to struggle against the day-to-day current。 The Dalai Lama had told us that stress and anxiety come from our expectations of how life should be。 When we are able to accept that life is how it is， not as we think it should be， we are able to ease the ride， to go from that bumpy axle （dukkha）， with all its suffering， stress， anxiety， and dissatisfaction， to the smooth axle （sukha）， with its greater ease， comfort， and happiness。 So many of the causes of suffering come from our reacting to the people， places， things， and circumstances in our lives， rather than accepting them。 When we react， we stay locked in judgment and criticism， anxiety and despair， even denial and addiction。 It is impossible to experience joy when we are stuck this way。 Acceptance is the sword that cuts through all of this resistance， allowing us to relax， to see clearly， and to respond appropriately。Much of traditional Buddhist practice is directed toward the ability to see life accurately， beyond all the expectations， projections， and distortions that we typically bring to it。 Meditative practice allows us to quiet the distracting thoughts and feelings so that we can perceive reality， and respond to it more skillfully。 The ability to be present in each moment is nothing more and nothing less than the ability to accept the vulnerability， discomfort， and anxiety of everyday life。 （Pg。 225） When you are grateful，” Brother Steindl-Rast explained， “you are not fearful， and when you are not fearful， you are not violent。 When you are grateful， you act out of a sense of enough and not out of a sense of scarcity， and you are willing to share。 （Pg。 246） This no doubt goes hand in hand with the ability， as the Archbishop had pointed out repeatedly， to be less self-centered， less self-regarding， and more self-forgetful。 Then we are less burdened by our self-agenda: We do not have anything to prove。 We do not need to be seen in a particular way。 We can have less pretension and more openness， more honesty。 This naturally brings ease to those around us， too; as we have accepted ourselves， our vulnerabilities， and our humanity， we can accept the humanity of others。 We can have compassion for our faults and have compassion for those of others。 We can be generous and give our joy to others。 In many ways， it is like the Buddhist practice of tonglen， （Pg。 274） Anger often involves some disappointment or frustrated expectation。 Ask yourself， “What was my expectation？ Can I release it and accept what is or how others are rather than how I think they should be？ Can I also acknowledge my part in the conflict？ Can I see my part in contributing to the situation I am angry about？ If I am angry about what has been said， can I see that these are just words that no longer exist， that， like all things， they are impermanent？ （Pg。 318） 。。。more
Sharon
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I might have to buy this book to refer back to。 Wow， these men are just incredible human beings。 They make me want to be a much better person。
Samantha
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I love love love the Dalai Lama and his friendship with Desmond Tutu。 Such an amazing pair and how they tease one another is so humbling
Milan
，
Probably one of the best books I’ve ever read。
Sue-Ellen Smidt Van Amersfoort
，
Excellent reinforcement of the importance of mindfulness practise， compassion and generosity being at the core of all actions and together with deep loving and generous relationships the unattainable Myth of joy and happiness can indeed be attained。
Abhishek Karekar
，
This one is a spiritual book for the modern age。 It is really great to see 2 great personalities whose lives are so closely attached to their religions but they still have perspectives which are purely spiritual and not that religiously rigid。This book is more like you are listening to the conversation of 2 old and experienced men sharing their wisdom with each other and less of some scientific solutions to modern day problems。 Still at the end of the book there are some step by step approaches This one is a spiritual book for the modern age。 It is really great to see 2 great personalities whose lives are so closely attached to their religions but they still have perspectives which are purely spiritual and not that religiously rigid。This book is more like you are listening to the conversation of 2 old and experienced men sharing their wisdom with each other and less of some scientific solutions to modern day problems。 Still at the end of the book there are some step by step approaches to find joy in our lives which can be helpful。If you are someone who likes listening to wise talks of some really experienced people， then you will surely like to read this book。I also feel that this book is like a bridge between the spiritual differences between people who are highly religious and those who are not。 。。。more
Carolyn
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This book is inspirational and uplifting in a time when both are much needed。 Well narrated by Abrams， the conversations between these two spiritual leaders were fascinating to follow。 I expect to be re-reading this one regularly for a long time to come。
Lynn
，
I saw on a church website that they were reading this 2016 book so I got it from the Library。 It records a weekend conversation on the sources of joy that went on between the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu--two true spiritual giants of our age。 As one would expect， they offer much guidance on how to discover joy in spite of and even through suffering。 It is also a profound and encouraging story of how people of different faiths can overcome the obstacles between them and love one antoehr I saw on a church website that they were reading this 2016 book so I got it from the Library。 It records a weekend conversation on the sources of joy that went on between the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu--two true spiritual giants of our age。 As one would expect， they offer much guidance on how to discover joy in spite of and even through suffering。 It is also a profound and encouraging story of how people of different faiths can overcome the obstacles between them and love one antoehr as God loves us all。 However， the book was somewhat marred for me because the writer recording the weekend and their wisdom keeps injecting himself into the story。 。。。more
Estefania Pereira
，
Definitivamente es una lectura necesaria。 El libro toma lugar en la celebración del 80vo cumpleaños del Dalai Lama， donde su amigo el arzobispo Tutu lo visita junto al escritor Douglas Abrams para que tanto el encuentro como las conversaciones que toman lugar sean traducidas a un libro。 De esta manera leemos como dos sabios del último siglo hablan sobre cómo vivir una vida alegre incluso frente al sufrimiento， de qué se trata la alegría， y otros puntos sobre la naturaleza del ser humano。 Me enca Definitivamente es una lectura necesaria。 El libro toma lugar en la celebración del 80vo cumpleaños del Dalai Lama， donde su amigo el arzobispo Tutu lo visita junto al escritor Douglas Abrams para que tanto el encuentro como las conversaciones que toman lugar sean traducidas a un libro。 De esta manera leemos como dos sabios del último siglo hablan sobre cómo vivir una vida alegre incluso frente al sufrimiento， de qué se trata la alegría， y otros puntos sobre la naturaleza del ser humano。 Me encanta la manera en la cual plantean como sus diferencias en creencias y nacionalidades no son una causa para crear una división entre ellos， observamos los pensamientos de un cristiano y un budista reflejados， demostrando que las diferencias no son tan grandes como se pueden pensar。 Por sobre todo la alegria depende de comprender esto， comprender la humanidad de todo el mundo， ser compasivo， no ser egocentrico。 Otro punto a favor del libro es la forma en que se escribe de la amistad de estas dos personas， que pocas veces se han podido encontrar pero siempre han sido amigos del alma， el final del libro， en el cual se despiden， comenta sobre esta amistad y lo especial que fue el encuentro como tal vez el último。Lean el libro， no se arrepentiran。 。。。more
Dima Manuel
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Note to Self:The way you treat others is a reflection of how you treat yourself。 Never forget that。 Inner joy arises through connection with others。 When you help others， listen and learn from them。 We are wired for connection， being apart causes us suffering。 Remember that at the deepest levels of reality we are all one， are all essentially trying to find lasting peace and happiness and it is only the way that each of us goes about that task that differs。 Remember that you have more control ove Note to Self:The way you treat others is a reflection of how you treat yourself。 Never forget that。 Inner joy arises through connection with others。 When you help others， listen and learn from them。 We are wired for connection， being apart causes us suffering。 Remember that at the deepest levels of reality we are all one， are all essentially trying to find lasting peace and happiness and it is only the way that each of us goes about that task that differs。 Remember that you have more control over your "negative" states of mind than you think。 Remember that you are the creator of your reality inner and outer。 Finally remember not to take yourself too seriously， connect with others and learn from their experiences。Thank you so much！ ♥️ 。。。more
A。J。 Mendoza
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Simply amazing。 The wisdom found in this book is so transcultural， I am baffled that I have gone this long without hearing about it。 I read this book as an open-minded Evangelical Christian and found so great truth within it's pages。 Especially for a Covid traumatized world， this book is a necessity for people to obtain joy that benefits all of humanity。 These two spiritual giants demonstrate true， true joy as their experiences with injustice give ethos to their teaching。 I would not recommend t Simply amazing。 The wisdom found in this book is so transcultural， I am baffled that I have gone this long without hearing about it。 I read this book as an open-minded Evangelical Christian and found so great truth within it's pages。 Especially for a Covid traumatized world， this book is a necessity for people to obtain joy that benefits all of humanity。 These two spiritual giants demonstrate true， true joy as their experiences with injustice give ethos to their teaching。 I would not recommend this to many Christians I know for these reasons: 1） Dialogue between Buddhism and Christianity can make some uncomfortable， 2） Archbishop Desmond Tutu openly states that others can go to heaven without a relationship with Jesus Christ （like the Dalai Lama）， and 3） Archbishop Desmond Tutu administers communion to the Dalai Lama。 Though these are powerful moments and teachings that can potentially create a more unified humanity， it is still very controversial and must be treaded lightly。 。。。more
Naomi Chapman
，
Skip that motivational book with the big face on your shelf （you know the one） and read this instead。
Chrissie
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“The Dalai Lama began by saying it’s not possible for everyone to be a Christian or a Buddhist。 'There’s no other choice but for followers of the world’s religions to accept the reality of other faiths。 We have to live together。 In order to live happily， we must respect each other’s traditions。 I really admire other traditions。'” “You show your humanity by how you see yourself not as apart from others but from your connection to others。”― Desmond Tutu I enjoyed the conversations between the Dala “The Dalai Lama began by saying it’s not possible for everyone to be a Christian or a Buddhist。 'There’s no other choice but for followers of the world’s religions to accept the reality of other faiths。 We have to live together。 In order to live happily， we must respect each other’s traditions。 I really admire other traditions。'” “You show your humanity by how you see yourself not as apart from others but from your connection to others。”― Desmond Tutu I enjoyed the conversations between the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu。 The commentary felt a little repetitive， but this book still manage to keep my interest and offered some thoughts on joy and compassion I found to be enlightening。 。。。more
Bunnavath
，
A brilliant book 。 The Dalai Lama and archbishop talk about the inescapable suffering of life and how joy is derived despite of this suffering 。 Joy is different from happiness Happiness is temporary while Joy is more long lasting 。 The greatest joy is when we do good for others。 Material good only provide short term happiness but not joy。 Joy comes from within us 。 Through the heart and mind 。They mention the 8 pillars of Joy Head :1 Perspective 2 Humility 3 Humor 4 Acceptances Heart :5 Forgive A brilliant book 。 The Dalai Lama and archbishop talk about the inescapable suffering of life and how joy is derived despite of this suffering 。 Joy is different from happiness Happiness is temporary while Joy is more long lasting 。 The greatest joy is when we do good for others。 Material good only provide short term happiness but not joy。 Joy comes from within us 。 Through the heart and mind 。They mention the 8 pillars of Joy Head :1 Perspective 2 Humility 3 Humor 4 Acceptances Heart :5 Forgiveness 6 Gratitude 7 Compassion 8 Generosity 。。。more
Carrie Ridgeway
，
Enjoyed this conversation between two amazing men。 Loved the practices at the end。 Will add a “what I’m grateful for”。。。to my daily journal。
Candace Brown
，
This was a lovely read about finding common ground and recognizing that， even when you disagree about the fundamental realities of the universe， you can still agree on the fundamental realities of the universe。The last section was incredibly insightful in both science and spiritual practice （though I should say that’s the whole book） in giving specific practice that help in certain circumstances。 Also， the friendship between the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu is darling。 My favorite quot This was a lovely read about finding common ground and recognizing that， even when you disagree about the fundamental realities of the universe， you can still agree on the fundamental realities of the universe。The last section was incredibly insightful in both science and spiritual practice （though I should say that’s the whole book） in giving specific practice that help in certain circumstances。 Also， the friendship between the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu is darling。 My favorite quote: “Ultimately， joy is not something to learn; it is something to live。 And our greatest joy is lived in deep， loving， and generous relationship with others。” 。。。more
Andres Barreda
，
These two men are undoubtedly top figures in spirituality。 This book is a glimpse of how these two view the world。 The book offers a wide perspective of thinking since the Dalai Lama and Tutu come from very different places， cultures and religions。 The content is okay but nothing new。 I was bored in some parts and I disliked how much the narrator talked about the logistical information of the meeting between the Dalai Lama and Tutu。
morgan
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one of my favourite non-fiction books ever :）
Tanya Davis
，
I wish could have been there to experience the JOY！ Loved the dialogue between the two！
Christian Murray
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Amazing book！ Great lessons about mindful living/compassion training， will definitely listen to again。 A wonderful time of feeling like a fly on the wall getting to experience the friendship， warmth and love between Archbishop Tutu， and his holiness the Dalai Lama。
Diane
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Douglas Abrams did a great job of organizing and expanding on the wisdom and insights of these two wonderful human beings during their five day celebration。 The Joy Practices included at the end are an excellent and concise reminder of how to create more kindness， compassion， and joy， for yourself and others， in everyday life。
Lina
，
Absolutely amazing that people that have suffered so much still have so much love in their hearts
Courtney
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This is what we should be teaching in our schools！
Megan
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Two famous Octogenarians， the Dalai Lama and Anti-Apartheid campaigner， Desmond Tutu， meet up for a week in 2016 to muse on the nature of Joy。 What role it plays in life and how to get it。 Their conversation covers the obstacles to joy （fear， stress， anxiety， grief， loneliness， envy， despair， suffering， illness and fear of death） and then their Eight Pillars of Joy （perspective， humility， humour， acceptance， forgiveness， gratitude， compassion and generosity）。These two men have seen hardship in d Two famous Octogenarians， the Dalai Lama and Anti-Apartheid campaigner， Desmond Tutu， meet up for a week in 2016 to muse on the nature of Joy。 What role it plays in life and how to get it。 Their conversation covers the obstacles to joy （fear， stress， anxiety， grief， loneliness， envy， despair， suffering， illness and fear of death） and then their Eight Pillars of Joy （perspective， humility， humour， acceptance， forgiveness， gratitude， compassion and generosity）。These two men have seen hardship in different ways。 The Dalai Lama escaped Tibet under the cover of darkness in 1959 and is housed along with many Tibetans as a guest of the Indian government。 Even today many Tibetan families send their children to a school in Dharamsala to learn the language and the culture so it doesn't disappear and may never see their families again。 Desmond Tutu is most famous for his stance on Apartheid in South Africa and as the lead of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission which sought to deal with the past so that South Africa could move forward post Apartheid。The themes in this book of the interdependence of humans （rather than independence） and the power of compassion and gratitude are echoed in a multitude of texts across the fields of philosophy， neuroscience and psychology as well as in biographical accounts of almost anyone who has survived extraordinary hardship。 So much so that I feel our socialisation to be individualistic sets us up for a harder life than we ought to have。"when we see others as part of us， as connected， as interdependent， then there is no challenge we cannot face， together""we are social animals and cooperation is necessary for our survival， but cooperation is based entirely on trust"This book was particularly insightful in its discussion on the nature of forgiveness and compassion。 and an in depth discussion on the importance of interdependence was the central theme of the book。 The discussions are backed up by segues to research that supports or refutes the ideas talked about。Other books to read that cover the same themes = Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl， The Choice by Edith Egar， The Path， Letters from a Stoic （Seneca）。 And even Lisa Feldman Barrett's work on the brain， and how it doesn't work in the way we think it does。 。。。more
M
，
A book worth buying and having on hand to read every now and then。 Definitely a book I would like to introduce to my kids when they are old enough。
Kimmy
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I took my time reading this book and am well glad I did。 Having the wise voices of these two men guiding my thoughts before sleep reminded me how great an influence the words we read have on our thoughts and mental patterns。 I felt myself wanting to have more peaceful， joyful， compassionate thoughts on the days that I read from this book。The exercises and meditations in the back are a thoughtful way to keep the lessons of the Dalai Lama and Bishop Desmond TuTu in the day to day going forward。Tha I took my time reading this book and am well glad I did。 Having the wise voices of these two men guiding my thoughts before sleep reminded me how great an influence the words we read have on our thoughts and mental patterns。 I felt myself wanting to have more peaceful， joyful， compassionate thoughts on the days that I read from this book。The exercises and meditations in the back are a thoughtful way to keep the lessons of the Dalai Lama and Bishop Desmond TuTu in the day to day going forward。Thanks to Tom and Barb for this uplifting gift。 。。。more
Anurati
，
This is an incredible， marvelous， hope-giving book。 A reminder to practice self-compassion and compassion for others， along with valuable practices that can help us achieve a mindful， more self-aware state。 The highlight of the book for me was the epilogue， which consisted of the 8 pillars of joy， and listed down different Tibetan meditations that one could incorporate in daily life， as responses to certain uncomfortable emotional states and situations。 Dalai Lama is such a good reminder of how This is an incredible， marvelous， hope-giving book。 A reminder to practice self-compassion and compassion for others， along with valuable practices that can help us achieve a mindful， more self-aware state。 The highlight of the book for me was the epilogue， which consisted of the 8 pillars of joy， and listed down different Tibetan meditations that one could incorporate in daily life， as responses to certain uncomfortable emotional states and situations。 Dalai Lama is such a good reminder of how easy and simple the nature of compassion is， and how good humor can defuse any tense situation and help us sail through in this tumultuous journey we call life。 This is a book that I will keep coming back to， I hope！ 。。。more
Colleen
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Loved it！！！
Chris Peck
，
A truly beautiful book written by global icons on exploring joy for yourself and others。 I'd recommend it for everyone and wish to begin practicing these teachings in my daily life。 A truly beautiful book written by global icons on exploring joy for yourself and others。 I'd recommend it for everyone and wish to begin practicing these teachings in my daily life。 。。。more
Diogo Ferreira
，