No More Mr. Nice Guy
- Downloads：9738
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2021-05-10 08:54:05
- Update Date：2025-09-07
- Status：finish
- Author：Robert A. Glover
- ISBN：0762415339
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
Originally published as an e-book that became a controversial media phenomenon， No More Mr。 Nice Guy！ landed its author， a certified marriage and family therapist， on The O'Reilly Factor and the Rush Limbaugh radio show。 Dr。 Robert Glover has dubbed the "Nice Guy Syndrome" trying too hard to please others while neglecting one's own needs， thus causing unhappiness and resentfulness。 It's no wonder that unfulfilled Nice Guys lash out in frustration at their loved ones， claims Dr。 Glover。 He explains how they can stop seeking approval and start getting what they want in life， by presenting the information and tools to help them ensure their needs are met， to express their emotions， to have a satisfying sex life， to embrace their masculinity and form meaningful relationships with other men， and to live up to their creative potential。
Reviews
Aran Nasiri
，
By reading this book， you'll realize that there is almost nothing nice about being a "nice" guy！ No More Mr。 Nice Guy convinces you to stop lying to yourself， identify your weaknesses， and don't blame your relationships for your shortcomings in life。 By reading this book， you'll realize that there is almost nothing nice about being a "nice" guy！ No More Mr。 Nice Guy convinces you to stop lying to yourself， identify your weaknesses， and don't blame your relationships for your shortcomings in life。 。。。more
Joseph Knecht
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A nice practical guide into your repressed shadow side。 Nice guys feel shame from their masculine traits， and repress their desires to suit the female prerogative。 Some parts of the book are very repetitive， but the advice is helpful and comes from a genuine place。 Some quotes:Being integrated means being able to accept all aspects of one's self。This naive， ego-centered interpretation of their abandonment experiences creates a psychological state called toxic shame。 Toxic shame is the belief tha A nice practical guide into your repressed shadow side。 Nice guys feel shame from their masculine traits， and repress their desires to suit the female prerogative。 Some parts of the book are very repetitive， but the advice is helpful and comes from a genuine place。 Some quotes:Being integrated means being able to accept all aspects of one's self。This naive， ego-centered interpretation of their abandonment experiences creates a psychological state called toxic shame。 Toxic shame is the belief that one is inherently bad， defective， different， or unlovable。Consequently， many Nice Guys have adopted a female perspective of masculinity and are comfortable having their manhood defined by women。Men who are in touch with their feelings are powerful， assertive， and energizedA very wise person suggested that I give myself permission to never publish the book。 I felt an immediate sense of relief。 。。。more
Jeff
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Lots of repetitions within and between chapters， but some good reminders as well。
Gerry
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I wanted to give this 5 stars but the writing is holding me back。 When reading it I had to change Nice Guy to nice person in my head because 95% of this book applies to gals and guys。 Good advice and reminder that you are responsible for your own happiness。
Orlando
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I didn't know what to expect from this book， but I can say I was not disappointed。 The information provided was very helpful。 It's worth the read。 I didn't know what to expect from this book， but I can say I was not disappointed。 The information provided was very helpful。 It's worth the read。 。。。more
Mikyas
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I hate to say but what I learned from this book is that everyone of us have a little "Nice Guy" in us ;）。 I was surprised to learn the perspective from which Glover describes being a Nice Guy because some of them are not obvious for one to see。 Yes half of the book is principles and strategies for how to deal with your wife or girlfriend if you are a Nice Guy， which I didn't personally relate to （or did I？）， but this book is a real masterpiece if you read it with the intent to change。P。S。 The ex I hate to say but what I learned from this book is that everyone of us have a little "Nice Guy" in us ;）。 I was surprised to learn the perspective from which Glover describes being a Nice Guy because some of them are not obvious for one to see。 Yes half of the book is principles and strategies for how to deal with your wife or girlfriend if you are a Nice Guy， which I didn't personally relate to （or did I？）， but this book is a real masterpiece if you read it with the intent to change。P。S。 The exercises are very very important！ 。。。more
Matin Kheirkhahan
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In core， this book addresses the anxiety issue that many men have that has turned them into conflict-avoiding people pleasers。 A MUST READ to understand the toxic shame within oneself and consciously making an effort to overcome it。
Nice Guy Seduction
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Great book for shy guys to help them understand their behaviour better， while escaping the closed negative feedback loop they find themselves in。Generally it'll help you be more assertive with women， and become a more integrated， fulfilled， man。 Great book for shy guys to help them understand their behaviour better， while escaping the closed negative feedback loop they find themselves in。Generally it'll help you be more assertive with women， and become a more integrated， fulfilled， man。 。。。more
Vishnu Manosh
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This book literally changed my lifeA book which Enlightened me completely。All these years I never read a self-help book as useful as this oneI suggest every men out there to read this gem
Ajeet Kumar
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Generally I avoid reading any book which title goes like a proven/definite plan for getting xyz。。 but since I have read it now and oh boy at first time it caught me ！ Well， how to create a new religion ？ Take weaknesses of humans （ lack of integrity， laziness etc） with some factors about them （ bad childhood experience， lack of love or sex in their life）， develop a nice （ or here not so nice） theory and repeat them in a book of n number of pages with a constant assurance that it worked。 I am not Generally I avoid reading any book which title goes like a proven/definite plan for getting xyz。。 but since I have read it now and oh boy at first time it caught me ！ Well， how to create a new religion ？ Take weaknesses of humans （ lack of integrity， laziness etc） with some factors about them （ bad childhood experience， lack of love or sex in their life）， develop a nice （ or here not so nice） theory and repeat them in a book of n number of pages with a constant assurance that it worked。 I am not saying that it will work but most of time you will get attention of people searching a fix ！Now this book has greatly confused me。 After reading some pages ，in which the author disown （ 0ver？） caring， friendly nature of masculinity， I though Buddhists would be less of a man from the author perspective but at the end he quoted Buddha ！ Well Buddha searched his feminine （ I don't divide any quality of human between genders） qualities and he went on to take care of suffering people whole of his life。 So he would be a bad role model for a book about masculinity ！ Then people with bad childhood experience， addiction can be greatly helped by therapeutic sessions 。 Such people can be also helped by changing their perspective （ how they think about their problems） but how it bend towards masculinity ？ How two people relationships can be improved when one is suffering from depression/addiction and other person is just putting the need of his d**ck first ？ As one inference from the book that if one put the need of sex first he will great sex from suffering people ？ It also gives a hint that the person also need to cut communication in cases when his need is not met ！ Apart from a very bad model of problems of love， life and sex and constant rant that male was supposed to do so and so， the book has a bit of truth。 One such wisdom I derived personally was when the author said just doing right or good things would not take away chaotic or bad or changing life/ situations。 。。。more
Mahmoud Ezzat محمود عزت
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عرفت الكتاب عن طريق بوست لبلال علاء عنه، كتاب تنمية بشرية صريح، لكنه مليان إشارات ذكية وتحليلات مفيدة لفكرة الذكورة ومشاكلها في الزمن الحالي، بشكل أدق: الذكور الطيبين بالمعنى الظاهري، واللي جواهم غضب كبير تجاه نفسهم وحياتهم وعدم ارتياحهم مع ذكورتهم ذاتها。كتاب "رجالي" لطيف، موجه للرجالة ومفيد جدا في التعامل مع أفكار بعينها في نظرة الرجل لنفسه في وقت لازم يتعامل فيه مع أفكار كتير تانية عن الرجولة والسيطرة والقوة واللطف والطيبة。 عرفت الكتاب عن طريق بوست لبلال علاء عنه، كتاب تنمية بشرية صريح، لكنه مليان إشارات ذكية وتحليلات مفيدة لفكرة الذكورة ومشاكلها في الزمن الحالي، بشكل أدق: الذكور الطيبين بالمعنى الظاهري، واللي جواهم غضب كبير تجاه نفسهم وحياتهم وعدم ارتياحهم مع ذكورتهم ذاتها。كتاب "رجالي" لطيف، موجه للرجالة ومفيد جدا في التعامل مع أفكار بعينها في نظرة الرجل لنفسه في وقت لازم يتعامل فيه مع أفكار كتير تانية عن الرجولة والسيطرة والقوة واللطف والطيبة。 。。。more
Tanu
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I picked the book to understand the opposite gender's approach towards life but honestly， I feel the book has discussed more generic issues and solutions。 This book constantly tells men that it's OK to be selfish and put yourself first。 Let's get real， it's OK for every human despite gender。 I was expecting a bit specific issues and approaches。Anyhow， I think the author is trying to explain the importance and proper implementation of "the first pillar of self-intimacy"， which is considered once I picked the book to understand the opposite gender's approach towards life but honestly， I feel the book has discussed more generic issues and solutions。 This book constantly tells men that it's OK to be selfish and put yourself first。 Let's get real， it's OK for every human despite gender。 I was expecting a bit specific issues and approaches。Anyhow， I think the author is trying to explain the importance and proper implementation of "the first pillar of self-intimacy"， which is considered once need （not mentioned clearly in the book though）。For those of us who are interested， you can always check about the 4 pillars of self-intimacy （that I consider being the most important thing to know when it comes to self-awareness） without any gender-specific。 For starters， the 4 pillars are :1。 Needs2。 Standards3。 Boundaries4。 GoalsAnd the roof being self-respect。 。。。more
ahmed
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I thought being a nice guy is a choice， well it's not， it's a reaction to some psychological issues。The book is a diagnostic more than help to find a cureBut it was good I thought being a nice guy is a choice， well it's not， it's a reaction to some psychological issues。The book is a diagnostic more than help to find a cureBut it was good 。。。more
Mackel
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Being masculine has been confusing many people on what it should be。 Dr。 Glover unpacks what being masculine is and why it not the bad thing that modern world touts it to be。
David
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This book definitely challenged some preconceived notions that I had and put things into a different frame of mind for me。 I am part of a men's group that decided to read this book， and I think it was validating for a lot of us， myself included， and allowed us to see that a lot of men share the same struggles。 At the very least， discussing this book in a group setting allowed us to express ourselves and share where we were at in our lives。 Knowing nothing about the book before picking it up， I d This book definitely challenged some preconceived notions that I had and put things into a different frame of mind for me。 I am part of a men's group that decided to read this book， and I think it was validating for a lot of us， myself included， and allowed us to see that a lot of men share the same struggles。 At the very least， discussing this book in a group setting allowed us to express ourselves and share where we were at in our lives。 Knowing nothing about the book before picking it up， I did some searching on it after reading it。 There seems to be controversy and hype around it， and probably not without good reason。 I'm sure there are people out there who want to militantly take anything a book says and enact it right away or in a heavy handed way。 In reading the book myself， I didn't see anything particularly incendiary or controversial。 But I could see how， in confused hands， it could be taken to an extreme like anything else。 For example， Glover's noting the fact that the nature of work changing in the industrial revolution pulled men away from the home and left boys to be looked after exclusively by women， could be controversial or merely an observation。 I tend towards the latter and thought his observation had merit， if only for the reason that I never had that thought myself and found it worth pondering。 If anything， this book is a good reminder that， in the grand scheme of things， most of what we've lived through in the past 100 years or so is relatively new in civilization， and rapidly changing; there are consequences to every shift。 Is this book a panacea for issues of masculinity or men's work？ No。 Is it an opening salvo in a struggle to be better men？ Perhaps。 I can't speak to the authors intentions of getting people to come to his seminars， or other claims levied against him， etc， etc。 I didn't go that far down the rabbit hole。 But I think his work contains some valuable insights （e。g。 "covert contracts"） and observations （aforementioned labor shift）。 。。。more
Shawna Barker
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Told my parents about my porn addiction。 They took it really well are more supportive。 I feel like I can change for real this time。 I'm gonna read more books and overcome this addiction。 I owe this book a lot definitely gonna go into the favorites section。 Told my parents about my porn addiction。 They took it really well are more supportive。 I feel like I can change for real this time。 I'm gonna read more books and overcome this addiction。 I owe this book a lot definitely gonna go into the favorites section。 。。。more
Tylor Lovins
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This book very much surprised me。 I disliked the title， the cover， and the various reviews and press it has received。It turned out to be the best distillation of shame-informed psychological profiling of manhood that I have come across。 Extremely useful and helpful， very clear， concise， and informative。 It fits in with titles like Iron John by Robert Bly， He by Robert Johnson， and King， Warrior， Magician， Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine by Douglas Gillette and Robert This book very much surprised me。 I disliked the title， the cover， and the various reviews and press it has received。It turned out to be the best distillation of shame-informed psychological profiling of manhood that I have come across。 Extremely useful and helpful， very clear， concise， and informative。 It fits in with titles like Iron John by Robert Bly， He by Robert Johnson， and King， Warrior， Magician， Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine by Douglas Gillette and Robert Moore。 It has the added advantage of being shame and， to some degree， trauma informed， and because this is the case has a better granularity of language when it comes to why emotional experience is formed in the way it is for “nice guys。” There are various activities throughout that help the reader better understand the underlying emotional experiences required for development out of the “nice guy” role。 Although there are some instances in which I disagree with either the explanations， descriptions， or reasons given for certain behaviors， the bulk of the book far surpasses in value the quibbles I have with it。 I would recommend this to any “nice guy。” 。。。more
Curtis Martin
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Good follow up to the Boundaries book
Joel Ramirez
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Book changed my life and perspective。 Really changed the way I went through life and treated myself。 Some subjects were a little out there but overall I got the message。 Main points I took out of it were to really fill my own cup and fulfill my needs。 Also not to seek external validation and overall be self sufficient。
Kharlanov Sergey
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Отличная книжка。 Читать и перечитывать。 Перед этим читал 6 столпов самооценки - мучался две недели。 Эту прочитал за день и явно еще не раз перечитаю。
Aravind
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This book is not for everyone。 This book is only for men。 This book is only for men who fall under a particular category which he describes in the first couple of pages of the book。 If you don't belong to that category， my recommendation is to not waste your time。 If you are a feminist it could raise your temper。 If you chose to read the book， you could still say that the author has an inherent motive in talking about his counselling sessions and wanting more people to join such a session。 Despi This book is not for everyone。 This book is only for men。 This book is only for men who fall under a particular category which he describes in the first couple of pages of the book。 If you don't belong to that category， my recommendation is to not waste your time。 If you are a feminist it could raise your temper。 If you chose to read the book， you could still say that the author has an inherent motive in talking about his counselling sessions and wanting more people to join such a session。 Despite all that I have stated above， I have given a 5 star rating to this book for just one reason。 This damn author sat inside me and saw through me， and he has written it for me！ 。。。more
Mahan
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I deliberately stopped reading this and left the reading group for it。 The points in here can be summarized as “respect and prioritize your own needs and boundaries” and “stand up for yourself。” This book does have the decent point that sometimes that means prioritizing your needs over those of others， which is a valid and useful thing for “nice guys” to hear， but much like so much of Jordan Peterson’s advice， the sensible basic concepts are couched in so much awful， poorly contextualized， needl I deliberately stopped reading this and left the reading group for it。 The points in here can be summarized as “respect and prioritize your own needs and boundaries” and “stand up for yourself。” This book does have the decent point that sometimes that means prioritizing your needs over those of others， which is a valid and useful thing for “nice guys” to hear， but much like so much of Jordan Peterson’s advice， the sensible basic concepts are couched in so much awful， poorly contextualized， needlessly gendered boomer bullshit that it’s actively harmful。This book isn’t about men vs women， it’s about general emotional intelligence and self-preservation in the face of those that may take advantage of kindness， as well as breaking out of the “transactional relationship” mindset。 That’s it。 Instead， we get endless anecdotal conjecture with absolutely no logic to back it up outside of wildly problematic perspectives on things like anti-war protests and feminism。For example， the author posits that the American youth of the Vietnam War era simply “didn’t understand” why the conflict couldn’t be resolved without guns and violence because they were too detached from their masculinity after being raised by women。 There were SO MANY REASONS to be against the Vietnam war， from the new level of journalistic coverage to the civilian casualties to the questionable reasons for the Americans being there in the first place （for starters）， but the author reduces it to “after all of the men died in WW2 and FEMINISM became a thing， too many men of the time were just super pussified， bro。 We’ve gotta get back to our ROOTS。”Even if you’re able to set aside the questionable logic and flagrant misogyny and closed-mindedness that the book pushes， what little value that the book has is still questionable because while some more timid and emotionally mixed up man may benefit， someone who’s already an asshole could read it and use the logic within to justify being a selfish prick with no regard for rules or the needs of others。I stopped after chapter 6 because chapter 7 is “success strategies for intimate relationships。” No way in hell am I going to subject myself to intimacy advice from this blowhard。 This book is toxic garbage and has its head completely up its own ass。 There are better ways to do this。 。。。more
Narayana Krishna
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Such a wonderful book to read for everyone especially for men as it tells you the toxic reality that most of the men are assuming things and proceeding in the life。 This is such a eye opener book for all as it hits you on the face。 The author has covered each and every aspect with examples and questions for us to think and retrospect。 Must read book。Note: I had to reduce a star because for few examples I was not able to relate much as the context was more so related to US culture。 It would have Such a wonderful book to read for everyone especially for men as it tells you the toxic reality that most of the men are assuming things and proceeding in the life。 This is such a eye opener book for all as it hits you on the face。 The author has covered each and every aspect with examples and questions for us to think and retrospect。 Must read book。Note: I had to reduce a star because for few examples I was not able to relate much as the context was more so related to US culture。 It would have been nice if the author had focused more on other cultures too。 。。。more
Alyn Pank
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Nice book！ It gave me a new perspective about some problems that we are not even aware of。 Has some nice examples and good exercises to practice。 The only drawback was that you have to be careful not to identify yourself with some nice guy characteristics that might not be yours in reality but you get trapped in the flow hehe。
Kavi Mazumdar
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A phenomenal book that has changed me in many ways over the past few months。 I feel much better after reading it。 I think many men would benefit from it。
Mark Stary
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This would be the first self-help book I have ever read as self-help books are just not me。 But after talking to a dear friend who suggested my unhappiness stemmed from being a nice guy and to get a copy of this book， I figured I'd give it a shot。 I must admit I was a bit peeved at the suggestion to read this book at first as I considered being "A nice guy" wasn't such a bad thing？ Rather a nice guy than being an A-hole in my opinion。 Well this book was very painful to read and it took much long This would be the first self-help book I have ever read as self-help books are just not me。 But after talking to a dear friend who suggested my unhappiness stemmed from being a nice guy and to get a copy of this book， I figured I'd give it a shot。 I must admit I was a bit peeved at the suggestion to read this book at first as I considered being "A nice guy" wasn't such a bad thing？ Rather a nice guy than being an A-hole in my opinion。 Well this book was very painful to read and it took much longer to finish that I would have expected。 It was painful because it exposed me to myself。 It exposed， explained and enlightened me。 All my flaws were laid bare， flaws that I thought were traits。 I was lying to myself and deep down i knew it。 Now I truly understand where I have gone wrong and why I have anger issues at being wronged in the past and present， why I get frustrated and mostly why I am sad almost all of the time。 Thank you Robert Glover for a read I have been looking for since 1999 without even knowing it。 The best thing is I have already started to make changes based on this book and feeling positive about the change of direction i have undertaken。 Highly recommended to all men who have been called "A nice guy" by people。 You won't regret it。 。。。more
Alex Ho
，
its OK
Abhishek Malakar
，
most practical book I've ever read most practical book I've ever read 。。。more
Emily Shipley
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I am not the target audience for this book。
Renato Alves
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I strongly recommend this book for anyone from men to even women。 This book is surely what our society needs to have better men who are not seeking for approval of others all the time。 It’s complete with case studies and examples of how dangerous men who do not accept their manliness and flaws can be， such as being passive aggressive， dishonest， addicted to alcohol， drugs， porn etc！
Reference
google book https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=No More Mr. Nice Guy
hathitrust digital library https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/ls?q1=No More Mr. Nice Guy&field1=ocr&a=srchls&ft=ft&lmt=ft
The British Library https://bll01.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/discovery/search?query=any,contains,No More Mr. Nice Guy&tab=LibraryCatalog&search_scope=Not_BL_Suppress&vid=44BL_INST:BLL01&lang=en&offset=0