Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other
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- Create Date：2021-05-10 08:54:48
- Update Date：2025-09-06
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- Author：Osho
- ISBN：0312275668
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Summary
"Hit-and-run" relationships have become common in our society as it has grown more rootless， less tied to traditional family structures， and more accepting of casual sex。 But at the same time， there arises an undercurrent of feeling that something is missing-a quality of intimacy。
This quality has very little to do with the physical， though sex is certainly one possible door。 Far more important is a willingness to expose our deepest feelings and vulnerabilities， with the trust that the other person will treat them with care。 Ultimately， the willingness to take the risk of intimacy has to be grounded in an inner strength that knows that even if the other remains closed， even if that trust is betrayed， we will not suffer any permanent damage。
In this gentle and compassionate guide， Osho takes his readers step-by-step through what makes people afraid of intimacy， how to encounter those fears and go beyond them， and what they can do to nourish themselves and their relationships to support more openness and trust。
OSHO challenges readers to examine and break free of the conditioned belief systems and prejudices that limit their capacity to life in all its richness。 He has been described by the Sunday Times of London as one of the "1000 Makers of the 20th Century" and by Sunday Mid-Day （India） as one of the ten people-along with Gandhi， Nehru， and Buddha-who have changed the destiny of India。 More than a decade after his death in 1990， the influence of his teachings continues to expand， reaching seekers of all ages in virtually every country of the world。
This quality has very little to do with the physical， though sex is certainly one possible door。 Far more important is a willingness to expose our deepest feelings and vulnerabilities， with the trust that the other person will treat them with care。 Ultimately， the willingness to take the risk of intimacy has to be grounded in an inner strength that knows that even if the other remains closed， even if that trust is betrayed， we will not suffer any permanent damage。
In this gentle and compassionate guide， Osho takes his readers step-by-step through what makes people afraid of intimacy， how to encounter those fears and go beyond them， and what they can do to nourish themselves and their relationships to support more openness and trust。
OSHO challenges readers to examine and break free of the conditioned belief systems and prejudices that limit their capacity to life in all its richness。 He has been described by the Sunday Times of London as one of the "1000 Makers of the 20th Century" and by Sunday Mid-Day （India） as one of the ten people-along with Gandhi， Nehru， and Buddha-who have changed the destiny of India。 More than a decade after his death in 1990， the influence of his teachings continues to expand， reaching seekers of all ages in virtually every country of the world。
Reviews
agnia M Ori
，
geras priminimas， kad pernelyg daug prasmės suteikiu tam， į ką galima būtų žiūrėti paprasčiau - užtenka ir tiesiog žiūrėti
CUONG TRAN
，
Từ thân thiết （intimacy） có nghĩa là cốt lõi bên trong nhất của mỗi người。 Cuốn sách này nói rất sâu về cách quay về xây dựng mối quan hệ với chính mình， để có thể cải thiện mối quan hệ với xung quanh。 Quay vào bên trong， để hướng ra bên ngoài。 Thách thức bên ngoài chỉ có thể vững vàng hơn khi được bắt rễ sâu sắc từ bên trong。 Cuộc sống không phải là cuốn sách mở hoàn toàn。 Vài chương mở， là được。 Và vài chương hoàn toàn đóng， bí ẩn đầy đủ。 Tuy nhiên nhiều đoạn tương đối dài dòng， luẩn quẩn nhiề Từ thân thiết （intimacy） có nghĩa là cốt lõi bên trong nhất của mỗi người。 Cuốn sách này nói rất sâu về cách quay về xây dựng mối quan hệ với chính mình， để có thể cải thiện mối quan hệ với xung quanh。 Quay vào bên trong， để hướng ra bên ngoài。 Thách thức bên ngoài chỉ có thể vững vàng hơn khi được bắt rễ sâu sắc từ bên trong。 Cuộc sống không phải là cuốn sách mở hoàn toàn。 Vài chương mở， là được。 Và vài chương hoàn toàn đóng， bí ẩn đầy đủ。 Tuy nhiên nhiều đoạn tương đối dài dòng， luẩn quẩn nhiều ý cứ rối rắm， lặp đi lặp lại。 Dù lí luận của Osho rất rất thuyết phục nhưng mình vẫn cảm thấy thiếu thực tế。 。。。more
Erick Pastora
，
I should clarify I don't really know a lot about Osho other than a quick Google search I did before reading the book and I'm intrigued that he is often described by the media as a controversial figure， although at this point in time what isn't controversial？Now going to the book itself I feel like it's a very valuable read， definitely recommend it。 I had previously read The Way of Zen and Freedom from the Known and this one has a lot of the same teachings coming from Lao Tzu and finding the para I should clarify I don't really know a lot about Osho other than a quick Google search I did before reading the book and I'm intrigued that he is often described by the media as a controversial figure， although at this point in time what isn't controversial？Now going to the book itself I feel like it's a very valuable read， definitely recommend it。 I had previously read The Way of Zen and Freedom from the Known and this one has a lot of the same teachings coming from Lao Tzu and finding the paradigm of being outside the paradigms of having and doing。 Unlike the way of Zen it does not focus on history of the enlightment schools but goes deep into the teachings and unlike freedom from the known is much more adapted to the modern day person。 Intimacy touches a lot on self acceptance and freeing yourself from the poisonous prejudices against the self that creates the anxious and depressed people that we become after so much conditioning that makes us disown our true nature。 The need for intimacy is something we repress the more we alianate ourselves from the universe of things。 It touches on how we objectify people， how marriage is far away from real love， the problem with oneitis， jealousy and possessiveness， among other interesting stuff and it's pretty concise and easy to read。 。。。more
Dr。 Kashmira Gohil
，
This one's an another engaging book printed from one of Osho's discourses that talks about being oneself。 That， intimacy starts from loving & trusting yourself before radiating or extending to any other。 That， you are like an unique fingerprint that never exists in world like a copy elsewhere because universe made you with care and that， soft & supple belongs to the top like a flower while hard & rigid belongs to bottom like deadroots beneath earth。 All on all， one should be comfortable in one's This one's an another engaging book printed from one of Osho's discourses that talks about being oneself。 That， intimacy starts from loving & trusting yourself before radiating or extending to any other。 That， you are like an unique fingerprint that never exists in world like a copy elsewhere because universe made you with care and that， soft & supple belongs to the top like a flower while hard & rigid belongs to bottom like deadroots beneath earth。 All on all， one should be comfortable in one's own skin & 'be you' is more important than 'being like someone' （that's what my pinned tweet on twitter too indicates strongly， right from the time I joined it on October， 2013）。 He talks with beautiful anecdotes and examples in simple language that always makes reading worthwhile & interesting。 I give this book 3 stars here as I know some top Osho's books which make straight 5 or atleast 4 ratings。 。。。more
Monteiro Fátima
，
Amazing book。 I read it already and like to come back to it from time to time
Brandon Nankivell
，
If I had to choose between this and The 5 Love Languages。。。
Deynax
，
Some quotes from the book that are worth sharing:“Everything that is beautiful， precious， is going to be very momentary。”“First， make it absolutely clear to yourself what your object is。 Don't just go on stumbling in darkness。 Focus your attention on the object: What are you really searching for？ Because sometimes you want one thing， and you go on searching for something else， so even if you succeed you will not be fulfilled。” “Life is a search—a constant search， a desperate search， a hopeless s Some quotes from the book that are worth sharing:“Everything that is beautiful， precious， is going to be very momentary。”“First， make it absolutely clear to yourself what your object is。 Don't just go on stumbling in darkness。 Focus your attention on the object: What are you really searching for？ Because sometimes you want one thing， and you go on searching for something else， so even if you succeed you will not be fulfilled。” “Life is a search—a constant search， a desperate search， a hopeless search， a search for something one knows not what。 There is a deep urge to seek， but one knows not what one is seeking。 And there is a certain state of mind in which whatsoever you get is not going to give you any satisfaction。 Frustration seems to be the destiny of humanity because whatsoever you get becomes meaningless the very moment you have it。 You start searching again。”“This very search—what it is and why it is there—has to be understood。 It seems that there is a gap in the human being， in the human mind。 In the very structure of the human consciousness there seems to be a hole， a black hole。 You go on throwing things into it， and they go on disappearing。 Nothing seems to make it full， nothing seems to help toward fulfillment。 It is a very feverish search。 You seek it in this world， you seek it in the other world。 Sometimes you seek it in money， in power， in prestige， and sometimes you seek it in God， bliss， love， meditation， prayer—but the search continues。 It seems that man is ill with search。” 。。。more
Didier Van Der Veken
，
One of the best philosophical book I’ve read so far。 Beautiful literature！ Definitely a must read。
Mara
，
Reading this book was life-changing。It's not only about sexual/romantic intimacy， but about loving yourself enough to be authentic and vulnerable and being able to connect deeply。It wasn't a fast read， but I think the reason for that is that the information needs some time to sink in。I'm sure this is one of those books that I need to reread from time to time， to fully understand everything。A great read for anyone who's interested in learning to love themselves。 Reading this book was life-changing。It's not only about sexual/romantic intimacy， but about loving yourself enough to be authentic and vulnerable and being able to connect deeply。It wasn't a fast read， but I think the reason for that is that the information needs some time to sink in。I'm sure this is one of those books that I need to reread from time to time， to fully understand everything。A great read for anyone who's interested in learning to love themselves。 。。。more
Leonardo Stickaprio
，
First of all I am glad that I read it， it was interesting to know about this person's insights into life，I have heard him， but I was not really interested before， I am rather a fan of Eckhart Tolle out of all so called enlightened spiritual gurus， because I believe he is the only real one， but since I am on a course of deep healing process and I was guided to this book， I had to get a glimpse into it。 Second of all my takeaways， I loved that the book contains quote-boxes， when in a hurry you cou First of all I am glad that I read it， it was interesting to know about this person's insights into life，I have heard him， but I was not really interested before， I am rather a fan of Eckhart Tolle out of all so called enlightened spiritual gurus， because I believe he is the only real one， but since I am on a course of deep healing process and I was guided to this book， I had to get a glimpse into it。 Second of all my takeaways， I loved that the book contains quote-boxes， when in a hurry you could get interesting daily ideas to run along with。 I resonated with the part that trust yourself first then others can trust you as well， same with the accepting yourself first， but not entirely so， because there are people who can sense a aching soul and guide them to acceptance before the person can even be aware of it。 Also it was a farely quick read for me。Additionally I think it was great that he shared an example of a successful surgeon who got a nobel prize and was sad that the person did not become a dancer who the person always wanted to become， so that the person wasted own life to becoming great in an area that the person actually did not like at all， kind of sad， but as fortunate as it is， someone has to be the role model for others what not to do。As a bonus， it was a great idea to say that people who suppress anger have either bad teeth or ugly hands， because the energy for anger escapes through mouth or finger tips， but if it cannot do that it would fuck up the locations where it is stuck， really interesting thought。Finally I would say that I still do not believe in yoga or any other spiritual practices besides deep breathing and mediation and hypnosis， in those terms I think he still was bit too suggestive and mind-shaping in his writings， but as it is you can learn from people who made it or people who you dont resonate with， but have ideas that be seeded into your brain to fill in the gaps。 Murderers， scientists， politicians or what not can have knowledge to give you to work on yourself always， if you let your mind be open to new ideas。 So believe in what you want and trust in your essence what is right or let your self be guided by the people who have even one thought that you can run with。 One love 。。。more
Suzanne
，
This book is written in 2001 and is a collection of Osho's teachings。It is written in a simple way。 Very easy to read。Pay attention Osho world is very different from our today's reality。Do not be swept by his idealistic world he was living。Be critical when reading this book。Gives you positive input for the meditation you may wish t practice。 This book is written in 2001 and is a collection of Osho's teachings。It is written in a simple way。 Very easy to read。Pay attention Osho world is very different from our today's reality。Do not be swept by his idealistic world he was living。Be critical when reading this book。Gives you positive input for the meditation you may wish t practice。 。。。more
Nada AbuHassan
，
insight
Celestin
，
Osho is always superb， no question about it。 However， I find his new books a bit flat， like a piece of wood that has been sanded too much。 Even though they are truly amazing reads， they are not as alive as the transcripts of his talks。
Lynn Martina
，
fantastic book。 beautifully written， humorous and very relatable。 Highly recommended
Shreyash Patil
，
As usual Osho has his own way of interpreting things and 'intimacy' is a very good example。He talks about the intrapersonal relations of humans and how gender parity looks nothing when souls are considered。 As usual Osho has his own way of interpreting things and 'intimacy' is a very good example。He talks about the intrapersonal relations of humans and how gender parity looks nothing when souls are considered。 。。。more
Jamie
，
Osho is enlightening， as usual。
Nichelle Robinson
，
Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other is absolutely incredible and has several sound insights on the perspective of trusting oneself。 Osho starts off by explaining that we all have a natural desire to "search" or find our purpose。 Society even pushes us to believe that what we are searching for is external。 However， the book challenges us to understand that the answers we need， all lie within us。 We simply must be still and listen。 Since reading this book， it has completely changed my outlook Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other is absolutely incredible and has several sound insights on the perspective of trusting oneself。 Osho starts off by explaining that we all have a natural desire to "search" or find our purpose。 Society even pushes us to believe that what we are searching for is external。 However， the book challenges us to understand that the answers we need， all lie within us。 We simply must be still and listen。 Since reading this book， it has completely changed my outlook on how I see myself， trusting my own instincts and living in the present。 I can't recommend it enough。 。。。more
Nhi Lâm
，
Một cuốn sách để lắng nghe chính mình và hiểu bản thân mình hơn， từ đó thật sự xây dựng những mối quan hệ "thân mật"， thật sự kết nối và dám sống， dám gần gũi bằng toàn bộ con người chân thật của mình。 Và cũng biết được， hiểu được những rào cản nào đang ngăn mình có được những mối quan hệ sâu sắc， đầy kết nối， từ đó điều chỉnh bản thân để sống trọn vẹn。Mình thấy Osho rất thẳng tính và dùng ngôn ngữ mạnh， sắc bén， đôi khi như vả vào mặt người đọc。 Hihi。 Nhiều chỗ mình vẫn chưa thật sự hiểu hết ha Một cuốn sách để lắng nghe chính mình và hiểu bản thân mình hơn， từ đó thật sự xây dựng những mối quan hệ "thân mật"， thật sự kết nối và dám sống， dám gần gũi bằng toàn bộ con người chân thật của mình。 Và cũng biết được， hiểu được những rào cản nào đang ngăn mình có được những mối quan hệ sâu sắc， đầy kết nối， từ đó điều chỉnh bản thân để sống trọn vẹn。Mình thấy Osho rất thẳng tính và dùng ngôn ngữ mạnh， sắc bén， đôi khi như vả vào mặt người đọc。 Hihi。 Nhiều chỗ mình vẫn chưa thật sự hiểu hết hay cảm thấy thật sự thuyết phục， chỉ đơn giản là đọc vậy và biết là vậy， chứ chưa phải kiểu cảm giác "ồ wow"Có lẽ do đây là cuốn sách đầu tiên của Osho mà mình đọc， cũng chưa đủ nhiều thông tin và góc nhìn， hoặc mình chưa đủ trải nghiệm để thấm nhiều hơn。 。。。more
Maria Zsanett
，
Recently I have been deep-diving in the topic of intimacy， more importantly， to expand my knowledge on how to incorporate a quality of intimacy in my life。 Before I have started， I had a couple of question marks in my head regarding the topic。 However， i discovered that many of the following components should be balanced to reach a quality of intimacy。 The book tackles several topics and its interconnections。 If you have similar interests， one of the greatest thinkers of the 20th century collect Recently I have been deep-diving in the topic of intimacy， more importantly， to expand my knowledge on how to incorporate a quality of intimacy in my life。 Before I have started， I had a couple of question marks in my head regarding the topic。 However， i discovered that many of the following components should be balanced to reach a quality of intimacy。 The book tackles several topics and its interconnections。 If you have similar interests， one of the greatest thinkers of the 20th century collected his perspective on the subject， which i would highly recommend。 I would like to highlight those which were the most interesting for me to read about considering the central topic:- Physical attraction & sex？- Risk of intimacy - Openness and vulnerability- Self-identity & fear- Authenticity- Trust and care- Respect- Past， Present， and Future - Owing people or freedom- Support and encouragement- Silence & meditation- Acceptance & spontaneity- Simplicity & ordinariness- The power of the Ego- Honesty or false reaction - AlonessI felt that the book is only providing a perspective， which is built on real-life experience。 It does not want to tell you what you “should do” instead， only spotting the importance of the content while guiding you。 。。。more
Bhakta Kishor
，
The word ’intimacy’ comes from a Latin root: ’intimum’。 ’Intimum’ means your interiority， your innermost core。 Unless you have something there you can’t be intimate with anybody。 You cannot allow intimum， intimacy， because he will see the hole， the wound and the pus oozing out of it。 He will see that you don’t know who you are， that you are a madman， that you don’t know where you are going， that you have not even heard your own song， that your life is a chaos， it is not a cosmos。 Intimacy is a t The word ’intimacy’ comes from a Latin root: ’intimum’。 ’Intimum’ means your interiority， your innermost core。 Unless you have something there you can’t be intimate with anybody。 You cannot allow intimum， intimacy， because he will see the hole， the wound and the pus oozing out of it。 He will see that you don’t know who you are， that you are a madman， that you don’t know where you are going， that you have not even heard your own song， that your life is a chaos， it is not a cosmos。 Intimacy is a totally different dimension。 It is allowing the other to come into you， to see you as you see yourself， to allow the other to see you from your inside， to invite somebody to that deepest core of your being。 。。。more
Cường Nguyễn
，
Đã bao giờ em cảm thấy thất vọng về chính bản thân mình？ Đã bao giờ em bị bế tắc trong một mối quan hệ với người khác？ Đã bao giờ em cảm thấy không chắc chắn về tương lai với người mà em dành nhiều tình cảm？ Cuốn sách này cung cấp cho em kiến thức tốt về lý do tại sao em cảm thấy như vậy và đưa ra những cách để em thoát khỏi những bất an đó。Em sẽ được tìm hiểu ở chiều sâu nhất của sự tự biết mình。 Khi em có thể sống thật với bản thân mình thì em sẽ có những mối quan hệ chân thành với những người Đã bao giờ em cảm thấy thất vọng về chính bản thân mình？ Đã bao giờ em bị bế tắc trong một mối quan hệ với người khác？ Đã bao giờ em cảm thấy không chắc chắn về tương lai với người mà em dành nhiều tình cảm？ Cuốn sách này cung cấp cho em kiến thức tốt về lý do tại sao em cảm thấy như vậy và đưa ra những cách để em thoát khỏi những bất an đó。Em sẽ được tìm hiểu ở chiều sâu nhất của sự tự biết mình。 Khi em có thể sống thật với bản thân mình thì em sẽ có những mối quan hệ chân thành với những người yêu thương em。 Đó là đỉnh cao của sự thân mật - cội nguồn dẫn đến hạnh phúc。Cuốn này anh đánh giá 4。5*。 （Bài này mình viết cho một đứa em thân thiết）。 。。。more
Nghiem Duy Thai
，
Ấn tượng với mấy chương đầu của cuốn sách， tác giả viết đi thẳng vào vấn đề， ở những chương sau không đọng lại được nhiều lắm
Jeanie Wong
，
Lots of wise words from one of the most influential spiritual leaders of the contemporary world。 Short read but takes long time to absorb and reflect on the wisdom。 Started the book with the intention to “look for intimacy” / “improve interpersonal relationship” but the answer always lies within oneself。 Great stories and metaphors to illustrate profound messages。 One particularly strikes me - the person who wants to outrun his shadow and is convinced to run faster and faster and sadly dies in t Lots of wise words from one of the most influential spiritual leaders of the contemporary world。 Short read but takes long time to absorb and reflect on the wisdom。 Started the book with the intention to “look for intimacy” / “improve interpersonal relationship” but the answer always lies within oneself。 Great stories and metaphors to illustrate profound messages。 One particularly strikes me - the person who wants to outrun his shadow and is convinced to run faster and faster and sadly dies in the end。 What he only needs to do is to step back to the shade and his shadow will be gone。 Beautiful illustration on self-acceptance。 。。。more
Mha
，
أوشو 。。 كعادته يغوص في عمق النفس البشرية لستخلص من جواهرها الأنفس، غير أن هذا الغوص قد يستخرج ما لا يقبله العقل والروح معاً، فضلاً عن عدم واقعيته في أغلب الأحوال。。。。。。。 ولي عودة مع مراجعة مطولة للكتاب
Olia Braguța
，
“Nu știi nimic despre existență; nu știi nimic despre tine， despre existența ta。 Dacă nu începi cu ființa ta， nu ai să cunoști niciodată existența în întregul ei。[。。。] Numai gustul și parfumul existenței tale îți vor dar curaj să intri puțin mai adânc în existența altora。”Făcând abstracție de repetitivitatea subiectelor， Osho a avut idei bune despre nivelul de intimitate pe care îl avem cu noi înșine și cu ceilalți。
Baaska Baaska
，
Хүнд сэтгэлийн амар амгалан л байвал амьдрал сайхан байдаг даа。 Яг тэр сэтгэлийн амар амгаланг бий болгоход хэрэгтэй зүйлс энэ номонд байнаа гэж бодогдлоо。 Зөвхөн өөрийгөө сонсох， өөрийнхөөрөө байх， өнгөрсөнд биш ирээдүйд биш одоо цагтаа амьдрах， өөртөө итгэх гээд хүн ер нь өөрөө өөртэйгээ учраа олчихвол өрөөл бусадтай бол учраа олж болох юм бишүү。 Бас цаашлаад хосын харилцаа， хайр дурлал， өөрийгөө оронд нь тавьж бодож үзэх （үнэн сонирхолтой хэсэг байсан） гээд хүн бүр уншаасай гэж бодсон ном бай Хүнд сэтгэлийн амар амгалан л байвал амьдрал сайхан байдаг даа。 Яг тэр сэтгэлийн амар амгаланг бий болгоход хэрэгтэй зүйлс энэ номонд байнаа гэж бодогдлоо。 Зөвхөн өөрийгөө сонсох， өөрийнхөөрөө байх， өнгөрсөнд биш ирээдүйд биш одоо цагтаа амьдрах， өөртөө итгэх гээд хүн ер нь өөрөө өөртэйгээ учраа олчихвол өрөөл бусадтай бол учраа олж болох юм бишүү。 Бас цаашлаад хосын харилцаа， хайр дурлал， өөрийгөө оронд нь тавьж бодож үзэх （үнэн сонирхолтой хэсэг байсан） гээд хүн бүр уншаасай гэж бодсон ном байлаа。 。。。more
Thy Nguyen
，
Osho là 1 người nổi loạn， và trong người nổi loạn có một sức mạnh phi thường。
Cristina Matei
，
written/translated very poorly and manipulatively， but there were some good points
Ashley
，
"Before death comes， remember one thing: Love has to be lived before death happens。 Otherwise you live in vain， and the whole of your life will be futile， a desert。" "Before death comes， remember one thing: Love has to be lived before death happens。 Otherwise you live in vain， and the whole of your life will be futile， a desert。" 。。。more
Thái Sơn
，