High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out

High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out

  • Downloads:7349
  • Type:Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
  • Create Date:2021-04-20 12:31:37
  • Update Date:2025-09-07
  • Status:finish
  • Author:Amanda Ripley
  • ISBN:1797123785
  • Environment:PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle

Summary

When we are baffled by the insanity of the “other side”—in our politics, at work, or at home—it’s because we aren’t seeing how the conflict itself has taken over。

That’s what “high conflict” does。 It’s the invisible hand of our time。 And it’s different from the useful friction of healthy conflict。 That’s good conflict, and it’s a necessary force that pushes us to be better people。

High conflict, by contrast, is what happens when discord distills into a good-versus-evil kind of feud, the kind with an us and a them。 In this state, the normal rules of engagement no longer apply。 The brain behaves differently。 We feel increasingly certain of our own superiority and, at the same time, more and more mystified by the other side。

In a lively audio production with sound clips from individuals and situations she discusses in the book, New York Times bestselling author and award-winning journalist Amanda Ripley investigates how good people get captured by high conflict—and how they break free。

Our journey begins in California, where a world-renowned conflict expert struggles to extract himself from a political feud。 Then we meet a Chicago gang leader who dedicates his life to a vendetta—only to find himself working beside the man who killed his childhood idol。 Next, we travel to Colombia, to find out whether thousands of people can be nudged out of high conflict at scale。 Finally, we return to America to see what happens when a group of liberal Manhattan Jews and conservative Michigan corrections officers choose to stay in each other’s homes in order to understand one another better。

All these people, in dramatically different situations, were drawn into high conflict by similar forces, including conflict entrepreneurs, humiliation, and false binaries。 But ultimately, all of them found ways to transform high conflict into something good, something that made them better people。 They rehumanized and recatego­rized their opponents, and they revived curiosity and wonder, even as they continued to fight for what they knew was right。

People do escape high conflict。 Individuals—even entire communities—can short-circuit the feedback loops of outrage and blame, if they want to。 This is a mind-opening new way to think about conflict that will transform how we move through the world。

Featuring audio highlights from actual interviews, town hall meetings, and podcasts。

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Reviews

Trevor Stokes

Combining good old-fashioned storytelling with very practical tips on how to get out of high conflict situations where the conflict itself seems to take over as opposed to any original disagreement。 Jump to the appendix for straightforward guidance but circle back to the narrative woven throughout the book that shows under high conflict, you may feel like you're getting what you want but it's to the detriment of everyone。 I think this should be mandatory reading for politicians and pundits to st Combining good old-fashioned storytelling with very practical tips on how to get out of high conflict situations where the conflict itself seems to take over as opposed to any original disagreement。 Jump to the appendix for straightforward guidance but circle back to the narrative woven throughout the book that shows under high conflict, you may feel like you're getting what you want but it's to the detriment of everyone。 I think this should be mandatory reading for politicians and pundits to start to have more elevated conversations and more curiosity rather than us versus them demonizing mentalities。 。。。more

George Mckinley

Fantastic read- provocative, relevant, insightful。 Contains many references to other notable authors and works。 Though chalk-full of concrete information reads as a narrative and allows readers to delve into an open, extroverted worldview during increasingly divisive periods of history。

Greg Talbot

Given h

Kriti | Armed with A Book

I read this book within a day。 The concept of high conflict is portrayed in a well-researched and relatable manner。 Amanda Ripley is an eloquent writer and her organization of ideas and stories is brilliant - I was hooked from the Introduction and by the time I was at the end of the last chapter, I did not want this book to end。 I wanted to hear more stories about people and situations of high conflict, how they got into them, how they succeeded in getting out of them and what they learned about I read this book within a day。 The concept of high conflict is portrayed in a well-researched and relatable manner。 Amanda Ripley is an eloquent writer and her organization of ideas and stories is brilliant - I was hooked from the Introduction and by the time I was at the end of the last chapter, I did not want this book to end。 I wanted to hear more stories about people and situations of high conflict, how they got into them, how they succeeded in getting out of them and what they learned about themselves and society in the process。 While most of the people and places in this book was centered around the US, I appreciated examples from around the world。 I learned about conflicts in Syria and Columbia, amongst other things, and had the opportunity to reflect on high conflict situations I have been stuck in as well as the us-and-them mentality that I sometimes find in my thoughts。 This book opened my worldview and I feel better equipped to identity and handle high conflict。 An important reminder of this book was that people change, as do the identities that we identify with。 High Conflict is a treasure chest of knowledge and that last chapter about the cultural exchange between a New York synagogue and correction officers in Michigan was very impactful。 While the book does touch on polar political ideas, it is not just about that。 It is about human psychology, our need to be accepted and all the invisible forces that surround us。 Many many thanks to the publisher for gifting me the ebook through NetGalley。 A more in-dept review coming to Armed with A Book next week。 。。。more