Stay True: A Memoir
- Downloads：6014
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2022-12-01 00:19:35
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Hua Hsu
- ISBN：B09RTRFHLP
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
- Download
Summary
Length: 5 hours and 28 minutes
From the New Yorker staff writer Hua Hsu， a gripping memoir on friendship， grief， the search for self， and the solace that can be found through art。
In the eyes of eighteen-year-old Hua Hsu， the problem with Ken--with his passion for Dave Matthews， Abercrombie & Fitch， and his fraternity--is that he is exactly like everyone else。 Ken， whose Japanese American family has been in the United States for generations， is mainstream; for Hua， the son of Taiwanese immigrants， who makes 'zines and haunts Bay Area record shops， Ken represents all that he defines himself in opposition to。 The only thing Hua and Ken have in common is that， however they engage with it， American culture doesn't seem to have a place for either of them。
But despite his first impressions， Hua and Ken become friends， a friendship built on late-night conversations over cigarettes， long drives along the California coast， and the textbook successes and humiliations of everyday college life。 And then violently， senselessly， Ken is gone， killed in a carjacking， not even three years after the day they first meet。
Determined to hold on to all that was left of one of his closest friends--his memories--Hua turned to writing。 Stay True is the book he's been working on ever since。 A coming-of-age story that details both the ordinary and extraordinary， Stay True is a bracing memoir about growing up， and about moving through the world in search of meaning and belonging。
From the New Yorker staff writer Hua Hsu， a gripping memoir on friendship， grief， the search for self， and the solace that can be found through art。
In the eyes of eighteen-year-old Hua Hsu， the problem with Ken--with his passion for Dave Matthews， Abercrombie & Fitch， and his fraternity--is that he is exactly like everyone else。 Ken， whose Japanese American family has been in the United States for generations， is mainstream; for Hua， the son of Taiwanese immigrants， who makes 'zines and haunts Bay Area record shops， Ken represents all that he defines himself in opposition to。 The only thing Hua and Ken have in common is that， however they engage with it， American culture doesn't seem to have a place for either of them。
But despite his first impressions， Hua and Ken become friends， a friendship built on late-night conversations over cigarettes， long drives along the California coast， and the textbook successes and humiliations of everyday college life。 And then violently， senselessly， Ken is gone， killed in a carjacking， not even three years after the day they first meet。
Determined to hold on to all that was left of one of his closest friends--his memories--Hua turned to writing。 Stay True is the book he's been working on ever since。 A coming-of-age story that details both the ordinary and extraordinary， Stay True is a bracing memoir about growing up， and about moving through the world in search of meaning and belonging。
Reviews
Angela McManaman
，
What do you call it when you finish a book Monday nite， start rereading it Tuesday morning， buy three copies of it Tuesday afternoon because you want all your adult kids to read it and learn from it？ I call that FIVE STARS。 This book is many things all at once。 Every one of them is relatable。 Or， is at least something each of us can benefit from trying to understand better。 Hua Hsu’s reflections and observations of his parents’ journey from Taiwan to America and back again should be mandatory re What do you call it when you finish a book Monday nite， start rereading it Tuesday morning， buy three copies of it Tuesday afternoon because you want all your adult kids to read it and learn from it？ I call that FIVE STARS。 This book is many things all at once。 Every one of them is relatable。 Or， is at least something each of us can benefit from trying to understand better。 Hua Hsu’s reflections and observations of his parents’ journey from Taiwan to America and back again should be mandatory reading for every American anywhere。 Not as an act of penance or education， but because Hsu’s account is so laden with small moments， big emotions， anachronisms that it’s a joy and a mystery to learn about America like this。 It shouldn’t be。 You know what， just read this book if you want。 It’s for the cultural critic， the college freshman and her mom， the prom king in high school， the First-Gen kid who finds his mom’s accent endearing but is definitely going to speak English better than his parents ever could， the person vibrating with anxiety and grief after losing a loved one shockingly-stupidly-too soon， the philosopher， the nineties analog cool kid who thought hating Pearl Jam was a badge of honor and has a good sense of humor about it all these years later， the lonely and lost and loved。 Enjoy “Stay True” even as it breaks you a little and you read the final pages out loud to make the words last longer because they’re remarkably relatable and genius-level beautiful。 And if you read slowly， you think that maybe you’ll give the universe enough time to sort itself out and then Ken comes back。 。。。more
Ned
，
Memoir of Asian American male coming of age in California navigating life and grief over loss of friend in college。 Writing was straightforward and engaging。
Kristine Kerr
，
I really enjoyed Hsu's descriptions of his friends， family， and especially his relationship to music。 The first half of the book really resonated， I found myself sharing paragraphs with my family。 The second half just scratched the surface， at least for me。 I really enjoyed Hsu's descriptions of his friends， family， and especially his relationship to music。 The first half of the book really resonated， I found myself sharing paragraphs with my family。 The second half just scratched the surface， at least for me。 。。。more
Danielle Kaitlin （daniallreads）
，
Hmmmm。。。 brb gathering my thoughts [[REVIEW COMING SOON]]
Ming
，
This book centers around the friendship the author had in college and its life-changing impact。 After Ken， the friend， is killed in a random carjacking/kidnapping， Hsu evaluates deeply how one person can have a lasting effect。 I found this story to be especially significant because it about a relationship between two Asian Americans。 Secondly the friendship is between a first-generation Asian American and a fifth-generation one。Through a series of personal essays， Hsu recounts how he and Ken bec This book centers around the friendship the author had in college and its life-changing impact。 After Ken， the friend， is killed in a random carjacking/kidnapping， Hsu evaluates deeply how one person can have a lasting effect。 I found this story to be especially significant because it about a relationship between two Asian Americans。 Secondly the friendship is between a first-generation Asian American and a fifth-generation one。Through a series of personal essays， Hsu recounts how he and Ken became friends and their navigating and reckoning with life when big questions loom big。 With each other and somewhat against one another， they addressed race and their unique status as Asian Americans （and this is specific to being Asian American in a West Coast metropolitan area where their numbers are significant while still being the marginalized of the marginalized）。Hsu has a pattern of teetering between familiar and foreign， e。g。， his friendship with Ken， his views of his immigrant parents （who are unstereotypical in many ways）， his reasons for tutoring Southeast Asian refugee students in Richmond， etc。 To maintain his equilibrium， balancing on that delicate point seems to be required and that determining point shifts or appears to。His reflections and personal musings are affecting and written in candid， unflinching prose。 The outcome is a sense of intimacy and vulnerability。 Overall， there is longing and a search for connection as well as an elusive quality in those connections。There are references to ethnic studies， Grace Lee Boggs， Yuri Kochiyama， Third World Movement， etc。 These and other contemporary and historical mentions situate Hsu’s place in terms of history and community consciousness。 （I was surprised at how sentimental I felt about Berkeley and the Cupertino and El Cajon/San Diego areas given my time in those places。）Hsu often refers to various academic theorists and how their ideas may represent or explain the real world—something that many college-age students did， weighing their book learning against their own lives。 My favorite “chapter，” Pages 85-101， mentions Malinowski， the Kula ring， and the dynamic of reciprocity and obligation and then Mauss’ furthering Malinowski’s work。 The author eloquently folded these ideas as he reframed how he and Ken were friends。 I found this chapter to be especially poignant。“Friendships rest on the presumption of reciprocity， of drifting in and out of one another’s lives， with occasional moments of wild intensity…。”“Writing offered a way to live outside the present， skipping over its textures and slowness， converting the present into language， thinking about language rather than being present at all…。” 。。。more
Wendy
，
For everyone who collected， made tapes， went hard in the 90’s， over thought， over talked， late night friend sessioned， thrifted， zine obsessed， philosophized， felt a deep loss …。 A collection of connected stories build this amazing memoir。 I was locked in from word one。
Bianca Lee
，
hua hsuuuuu 😭😭😭😭 this was so good。 reducing this book to a book about grief， or friendship， or coming-of-age， or art， doesn't do it justice -- i feel like i need one or two more reads before i can have any coherent thoughts about this。the fact that most of this took place in berkeley made me weirdly nostalgic for a berkeley that i'd never even known， but it was nice to recognize names like amoeba， moe's， channing， bancroft。 kinda made his story feel even more immersive， like it wasn't just set a hua hsuuuuu 😭😭😭😭 this was so good。 reducing this book to a book about grief， or friendship， or coming-of-age， or art， doesn't do it justice -- i feel like i need one or two more reads before i can have any coherent thoughts about this。the fact that most of this took place in berkeley made me weirdly nostalgic for a berkeley that i'd never even known， but it was nice to recognize names like amoeba， moe's， channing， bancroft。 kinda made his story feel even more immersive， like it wasn't just set against a berkeley backdrop and u were rlly there 。。。more
Alicia
，
Wow， I don’t even know how to start this。 I actually finished this last night but I needed to let it settle。 Nevertheless， it will be one I will think about for some time to come。 Firstly， I was so taken away by this: I didn’t know much about this book at all but only picked it up after reading a few good albeit vague reviews。 As an Asian America from California， it probably spoke to me more than for other people but I was fine with that。 The frequent name drops of places in and around Berkeley Wow， I don’t even know how to start this。 I actually finished this last night but I needed to let it settle。 Nevertheless， it will be one I will think about for some time to come。 Firstly， I was so taken away by this: I didn’t know much about this book at all but only picked it up after reading a few good albeit vague reviews。 As an Asian America from California， it probably spoke to me more than for other people but I was fine with that。 The frequent name drops of places in and around Berkeley and the relatability of growing up first or second generation Asian were just so perfectly done。 The main driving story， though， is a love letter to the author’s friend who tragically died and for anyone， including myself， who has gone through this， it’s a heart-breaking but lovely homage。 It addresses not only trying to come to terms and dealing with death but also how to do it when that person helped define you and you’re still not done figuring things out。 How do you go on without them？ It was beautiful and personal story and no wonder it took the author 20 years to compose his thoughts and write it。 I also really loved the nostalgia as he writes about the college experience and finding yourself with your friends by your side。 They may not all be lasting friends but they all had a hand in molding you and making an impact during those very formative years and vice versa。 His detailed descriptions really throw you back to that age and I found myself reaching for the Kleenex at times。 It’s also a short and easy read that I was easily swept up in and binged in a sitting。 。。。more
Emily
，
maybe not for everyone， but one of my favorite books of the year。
Wing
，
A really touching， insightful， lyrical memoir centered around the author's college years and a specific friendship。 As an Asian-American who grew up in the same time period with similar abstruse， contrarian cultural leanings when it comes to music， film， I see myself in so much of his writing about searching for and carving an identity for himself， an elusive exercise in itself。 I also appreciate the author's more academic musings on the study of history itself and how he applies these same theo A really touching， insightful， lyrical memoir centered around the author's college years and a specific friendship。 As an Asian-American who grew up in the same time period with similar abstruse， contrarian cultural leanings when it comes to music， film， I see myself in so much of his writing about searching for and carving an identity for himself， an elusive exercise in itself。 I also appreciate the author's more academic musings on the study of history itself and how he applies these same theories to the examination of his own past and his relationship to it from his current vantage point。 It was a quick read and by the end I was still hoping for more。 。。。more
Daiana
，
An ode to friendship and grief。 "To love friendship， he writes， one must love the future。" An ode to friendship and grief。 "To love friendship， he writes， one must love the future。" 。。。more
Andrew Nguyen
，
Perfectly captures what it’s like to be 18 and navigating your own identity。 Great reflections on friendship， loss and nostalgia
Xuan
，
“I knew him in such a specific way and it began to feel too small” lol this line made me spiral。 I rly enjoyed this， I think it lost me at some parts but overall the depictions of friendship and little rituals they had made me emotional
Anne
，
Great description- really captures smoking cigs and listening to music and hating on Pearl Jam in the 1990s。 Good stuff！
Amy Qin
，
Wow， friendship is a beautiful thing。 Derrida remarked that friendship’s driver isn’t the pursuit of someone who is just like you。 A friend， he wrote “wild chose knowing rather than being known。” I had always thought it was the other way around。 - Hsu， 57
melhara
，
Stay True is a love letter from Hua Hsu to his friend Ken， who was murdered in a carjacking when they were in college。 This was a sad memoir about friendship and loss。 Hsu spends much of the first half of the book reminiscing about his friendship with Ken。 The second half of the book deals with grappling with the sudden loss of Ken， coping with the grief， reliving past memories， and trying to move on。 The book was well written but quite slow for my liking。 While I could connect with the author i Stay True is a love letter from Hua Hsu to his friend Ken， who was murdered in a carjacking when they were in college。 This was a sad memoir about friendship and loss。 Hsu spends much of the first half of the book reminiscing about his friendship with Ken。 The second half of the book deals with grappling with the sudden loss of Ken， coping with the grief， reliving past memories， and trying to move on。 The book was well written but quite slow for my liking。 While I could connect with the author in some aspects （being Asian-American）， I couldn't really relate to his college experiences （which were the bulk of this book）。 As such， this memoir didn't move me as much as I'm sure it would for others。 。。。more
Olivia Law
，
Read this on a flight。 Super sad， reflective， beautiful read。
Jennifer Spiegel
，
I think it's an okay book。 He's trying to come to terms with his pain。 It's not easy。 He's smart。 And he wrote it out。 I think it's an okay book。 He's trying to come to terms with his pain。 It's not easy。 He's smart。 And he wrote it out。 。。。more
Nina Moske
，
Really enjoyed this book。 I finished it with tears in my eyes。 It was heavy and sad and witty and engaging。
Kurt Neumaier
，
"Friendship is about the willingness to know， rather than be known。""Writing in the wake of his colleague Jean-François Lyotard's death， Derrida wonders 'How to leave him alone without abandoning him？' Maybe taking seriously the idea of our departed friends represents the ultimate expression of friendship， signaling the possibility of a eulogy that doesn't simply focus on attention back on the survivor and their grief。"This book really spoke to me。 I have been thinking about Alana since I had a "Friendship is about the willingness to know， rather than be known。""Writing in the wake of his colleague Jean-François Lyotard's death， Derrida wonders 'How to leave him alone without abandoning him？' Maybe taking seriously the idea of our departed friends represents the ultimate expression of friendship， signaling the possibility of a eulogy that doesn't simply focus on attention back on the survivor and their grief。"This book really spoke to me。 I have been thinking about Alana since I had a student translate and read Catullus 101 for class and this book felt like something that I needed to read right now。 In a million ways other ways as well， it was the perfect book for me。 。。。more
Emily Carlin
，
so continues my “memoirs set mostly in bay area” kick。 was unintentional but now maybe i’ll keep going。 i loved this book。 it made me cry 2x
Mike
，
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 Excellent if also a bit too nostalgic/sentimental for my personal way of being。 The discussion of Cobain’s death was a major tell — intentionally？ — of what was to come。 I found myself reading and thinking how the hell can the Hsu remember all of these details about his life twenty-plus years ago？ Where is the truth？ Then we learn he was journaling a lot of it， and I wondered how much of this memoir was， in effect， a rewrite… the final chapter suggests that what we understand to be history is in Excellent if also a bit too nostalgic/sentimental for my personal way of being。 The discussion of Cobain’s death was a major tell — intentionally？ — of what was to come。 I found myself reading and thinking how the hell can the Hsu remember all of these details about his life twenty-plus years ago？ Where is the truth？ Then we learn he was journaling a lot of it， and I wondered how much of this memoir was， in effect， a rewrite… the final chapter suggests that what we understand to be history is in a constant state of metamorphosis， altered by the time and place that is approached from， both individually and societally — which either renders Hsu’s telling of this story now more or less significant， I’m not sure。 In general， these efforts to infuse a personal story with wisdom， a la therapy， strike me as diffuse。 Yeah， it all makes sense and is deeply intelligent but what now？ What do we do with this information？ I’m reminded of something George Saunders wrote recently about stories preparing us for the trouble ahead。 Maybe this is that。 Maybe when a friend of mine dies I’ll know better what to do， how to talk to my feelings， interrogate my own past to grasp why I feel how I do。 I don’t know。 But I will say Hsu’s father’s letters to him are wonderful。 I know that for sure。 。。。more
Charles Cai
，
Wanted to like this one but just couldn’t get into it。 A telling sign for me was finding myself trying to get through it so I could start the next book on my list as opposed to actually enjoying it。 I think there are those that would really enjoy this， but for me I found it hard to relate to the author - this is one that falls under well-written but not inspiring or moving for me
Heather
，
The best book I’ve read this year。 It took me weeks to finish the last thirty pages because I didn’t want to let it go。 A truly remarkable portrait of young friendship and later， deep grief。
Leeza N。
，
"I really hope you can read this。 I don't care if you can see through me， I wrote， confessing to a list of imperfections and insecurities。 Just as long as you can see me。" No words can describe how heartwrenching and beautifully written this book is。 This quote resonated with me so much because Ken truly saw Hua for who he is， and never made him shy away from his true self despite their differences。 That feeling of acceptance， intimacy， affection and camaraderie between their friendship was arti "I really hope you can read this。 I don't care if you can see through me， I wrote， confessing to a list of imperfections and insecurities。 Just as long as you can see me。" No words can describe how heartwrenching and beautifully written this book is。 This quote resonated with me so much because Ken truly saw Hua for who he is， and never made him shy away from his true self despite their differences。 That feeling of acceptance， intimacy， affection and camaraderie between their friendship was articulated in such raw detail that made the story really come alive， not just a retelling of one's life story。 I couldn't help but reminisce about the true friends I have in my life， and how much I could relate to Hua on how badly I strived to not stick with the status quo。 The way Hua wrote about Ken made me smile until my heart hurt， how kind he was to everybody and how optimistic he was about the future。 I don't know what else I can say but this book， will not be forgotten。 Best read of 2022 hands down。 。。。more
Daniel
，
Really liked it。 It's very well written but difficult to categorize， which I think makes it intriguing and is part of the appeal。 It's ostensibly a memoir centering around the death of a close college friend。 But it's also many other things besides and none of these。 It touches on the Asian-American experience， finding one's self， topics of university academia， music。 I found it hard to pin down what exactly it was and where it was going。 Made for a very interesting read。 Really liked it。 It's very well written but difficult to categorize， which I think makes it intriguing and is part of the appeal。 It's ostensibly a memoir centering around the death of a close college friend。 But it's also many other things besides and none of these。 It touches on the Asian-American experience， finding one's self， topics of university academia， music。 I found it hard to pin down what exactly it was and where it was going。 Made for a very interesting read。 。。。more
Audrey
，
no words
Zander Kim
，
The last 50 pages or so are powerful。 Getting there took some time。 A very personal journey I’m happy he shared。 Love the music/record stories and how Hsu ties music with memory， place， and time。
Michael A。 Van Kerckhove
，
The audiobook edition isn't listed here， but that's how I experienced it。 Hearing it from Hsu himself。 Absolutely beautiful。 I am just a few years older than he is， so I was totally with him on the meditation of growing up and college and friends and music and alternative culture。 And of course loss， even if I did not experience what he did。 This is one I'd like a print copy of so I can re-read， underline， and open to a random page from time to time。 The audiobook edition isn't listed here， but that's how I experienced it。 Hearing it from Hsu himself。 Absolutely beautiful。 I am just a few years older than he is， so I was totally with him on the meditation of growing up and college and friends and music and alternative culture。 And of course loss， even if I did not experience what he did。 This is one I'd like a print copy of so I can re-read， underline， and open to a random page from time to time。 。。。more
Valerie Trapp
，
Bello， bello bello。 Un regalo
Reference
google book https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=Stay True: A Memoir
hathitrust digital library https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/ls?q1=Stay True: A Memoir&field1=ocr&a=srchls&ft=ft&lmt=ft
The British Library https://bll01.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/discovery/search?query=any,contains,Stay True: A Memoir&tab=LibraryCatalog&search_scope=Not_BL_Suppress&vid=44BL_INST:BLL01&lang=en&offset=0