Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why it Matters, and How to Harness it
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- Create Date：2021-04-09 07:31:38
- Update Date：2025-09-06
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- Author：Ethan Kross
- ISBN：B087YD4VG7
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Summary
AN AWARD-WINNING PSYCHOLOGIST REVEALS THE HIDDEN POWER OF OUR INNER VOICE AND SHOWS HOW WE CAN HARNESS IT TO LIVE A HEALTHIER， MORE SATISFYING， AND MORE PRODUCTIVE LIFE。
Tell a stranger that you talk to yourself， and you're likely to get written off as eccentric。 But the truth is that we all have a voice in our head。 When we talk to ourselves， we often hope to tap into our inner coach but find our inner critic instead。 When we're facing a tough task， our inner coach can buoy us up: Focus - you can do this。 But， just as often， our inner critic sinks us entirely: I'm going to fail。 They'll all laugh at me。 What's the use？
In 'CHATTER'， acclaimed psychologist Ethan Kross explores the silent conversations we have with ourselves。 Interweaving groundbreaking behavioral and brain research from his own lab with real-world case studies - from a pitcher who forgets how to pitch， to a Harvard undergrad negotiating her double life as a spy - Kross explains how these conversations shape our lives， work， and relationships。 He warns that giving in to negative and disorienting self-talk - what he calls "chatter" - can tank our health， sink our moods， strain our social connections， and cause us to fold under pressure。
But the good news is that we're already equipped with the tools we need to make our inner voice work in our favor。 These tools are often hidden in plain sight - in the words we use to think about ourselves， the technologies we embrace， the diaries we keep in our drawers， the conversations we have with our loved ones， and the cultures we create in our schools and workplaces。
Brilliantly argued， expertly researched， and filled with compelling stories， 'CHATTER' gives us the power to change the most important conversation we have each day: the one we have with ourselves。
RUNNING TIME => 5hrs。 and 45mins。
©2021 Ethan Kross （P）2021 Random House Audio
Tell a stranger that you talk to yourself， and you're likely to get written off as eccentric。 But the truth is that we all have a voice in our head。 When we talk to ourselves， we often hope to tap into our inner coach but find our inner critic instead。 When we're facing a tough task， our inner coach can buoy us up: Focus - you can do this。 But， just as often， our inner critic sinks us entirely: I'm going to fail。 They'll all laugh at me。 What's the use？
In 'CHATTER'， acclaimed psychologist Ethan Kross explores the silent conversations we have with ourselves。 Interweaving groundbreaking behavioral and brain research from his own lab with real-world case studies - from a pitcher who forgets how to pitch， to a Harvard undergrad negotiating her double life as a spy - Kross explains how these conversations shape our lives， work， and relationships。 He warns that giving in to negative and disorienting self-talk - what he calls "chatter" - can tank our health， sink our moods， strain our social connections， and cause us to fold under pressure。
But the good news is that we're already equipped with the tools we need to make our inner voice work in our favor。 These tools are often hidden in plain sight - in the words we use to think about ourselves， the technologies we embrace， the diaries we keep in our drawers， the conversations we have with our loved ones， and the cultures we create in our schools and workplaces。
Brilliantly argued， expertly researched， and filled with compelling stories， 'CHATTER' gives us the power to change the most important conversation we have each day: the one we have with ourselves。
RUNNING TIME => 5hrs。 and 45mins。
©2021 Ethan Kross （P）2021 Random House Audio
Reviews
Shira
，
The author is an Experimental Psychologist and it reads like an academic book， though it’s accessible and understandable。 I had high hopes for this book but it didn’t deliver what I was hoping for。 I think my bias as a social worker crept in a bit too much and I was critically aware of systemic issues that contribute to chatter。 The author makes no mention of that， at least in an explicit way。 He barely suggests therapy as a useful place to go and I thought that was odd。 I expected much more foc The author is an Experimental Psychologist and it reads like an academic book， though it’s accessible and understandable。 I had high hopes for this book but it didn’t deliver what I was hoping for。 I think my bias as a social worker crept in a bit too much and I was critically aware of systemic issues that contribute to chatter。 The author makes no mention of that， at least in an explicit way。 He barely suggests therapy as a useful place to go and I thought that was odd。 I expected much more focus on CBT， but he’s not a therapist。 I just didn’t do my research before diving in so my expectations were off。The Toolbox Project sounds quite interesting and I’m curious to see how it latches。 Learning to take healthy control of our inner thoughts and negative self-talk is super important。 Would love to infuse some of the tools suggested into my own life and job。 。。。more
Fran Jensen
，
Bought it for my family members。 This is well researched and useful
Tranhieu0410
，
Tiếng nói nội tâm là một chủ để rất hay và chưa được quan tâm đúng mức。 Mình nghĩ hầu như ai cũng có những tiếng nói trong đầu khi tự trò chuyện với bản thân。 Tiếng nói này tồn tại vì nó mang lại lợi thế sinh tồn cho con người， khi ta có thể vạch ra các khả năng trước khi tình huống xảy ra。 Nhưng chức năng này đôi khi cũng làm việc quá mức cần thiết khi các suy nghĩ lập lại nhiều lần， đặc biệt hơn trong một thế giới hiện đại với quá nhiều thông tin và mối lo lắng như hiện nay。 Cuốn sách mang đến Tiếng nói nội tâm là một chủ để rất hay và chưa được quan tâm đúng mức。 Mình nghĩ hầu như ai cũng có những tiếng nói trong đầu khi tự trò chuyện với bản thân。 Tiếng nói này tồn tại vì nó mang lại lợi thế sinh tồn cho con người， khi ta có thể vạch ra các khả năng trước khi tình huống xảy ra。 Nhưng chức năng này đôi khi cũng làm việc quá mức cần thiết khi các suy nghĩ lập lại nhiều lần， đặc biệt hơn trong một thế giới hiện đại với quá nhiều thông tin và mối lo lắng như hiện nay。 Cuốn sách mang đến một bộ công cụ - như lời tác giả - để ta có thể kiểm soát tiếng nói nội tâm theo hướng tích cực và tận dụng khả năng của nó để sống một cuộc sống hạnh phúc hơn。 Các kĩ thuật đều rất dễ để thực hiện， và có hiệu quả rất tốt - bản thân mình trước đó đã tự sử dụng một số phương pháp。 。。。more
Genevieve
，
Worth the read， a little long winded。 Excellent tools， though
Frank
，
The 5 stars is for the second Appendix， called The Tools。 I tried reading from the beginning， but when I read self-help books， I want to get to the point。 So anecdotes feel like filler。 And this book has a lot of filler。 So I went from the middle of Chapter 1 to the aforementioned appendix。
Debjeet
，
This book has detailed out some very effective and well researched tools which can address the problem of negative self talk and anxieties 。I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book ，hoping to implement these scientific proven methods to deal with low phase in due course of life。 Recommending this book to everyone。
Janine Phelan
，
Well done， interesting read！Will use tools to calm the chatter in my brain！
Suezq
，
An ok book， would've liked more tips on how to stop the constant stream of thoughts that keep you awake at night。 I'm not sure just saying my name out loud is going to do it。 An ok book， would've liked more tips on how to stop the constant stream of thoughts that keep you awake at night。 I'm not sure just saying my name out loud is going to do it。 。。。more
JULIE WILLIS
，
Helpful and enjoyable readI really enjoyed the book and put some of the suggestions to use， particularly the distanced self-talk。 I found it very helpful in reducing my feelings of anxiety and plan to put it to ritual use。
Y。S。 Stephen
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Our minds rarely ever keep quiet。 Day after day， it dredges up some past events or reminds us of some future。 Some of us pay attention to these activities more than the others。 Unfortunately， some of us also take these endless mind mutterings more seriously than we should。。。 sometimes to the point of obsession。Chatter by Ethan Kross brings a topic rarely discussed to the fore。 This is an audiobook that looks at the advantages and disadvantages of the voices in our head。 It explains ways they can Our minds rarely ever keep quiet。 Day after day， it dredges up some past events or reminds us of some future。 Some of us pay attention to these activities more than the others。 Unfortunately， some of us also take these endless mind mutterings more seriously than we should。。。 sometimes to the point of obsession。Chatter by Ethan Kross brings a topic rarely discussed to the fore。 This is an audiobook that looks at the advantages and disadvantages of the voices in our head。 It explains ways they can sabotage us and what to do when it happens。THINGS I LOVE ABOUT THE BOOKThere is a good depth of research that seems to have gone into this book and it shows。 I loved listening to the case studies and various other examples of people who were stuck on the voices in there head。 It was interesting learning what those voices kept repeating to them and how it affected their outlook on life。The solutions the author proffers to the problem of overthinking aren't too dissimilar from meditation， but each one of these solutions stands on its own merits and are backed by years of research。 Having said that， it is up to individuals to figure out what works for them。DISLIKESNone。WHO IS IT FOR？Chatter by Ethan Kross is for people suffering from debilitating self-talk， restless mind， and lack of confidence。 This book could be game-changer for them。Many thanks to Random House UK for review copy。 。。。more
Ryan
，
Kross gives a really interesting look into the inner voice and how it dictates our behaviours。 His writing style is anecdotal and easy， not trying to bury you in jargon。
S D
，
Accessible and useful book about harnessing our inner voice， as an anxious worrying person， I was interested in what this book had to say。 It is useful to have the tools of the book summed up at the end。 Already trying to put the advice into practise！
Maureen
，
I think I will read this again。 I checked it out of the library and have to return it。 So much makes sense - why are people in therapy for years， why do some veterans cope better than others -
Heidi Misch
，
Great read to understand and harness the inner voice。 Also a food guide on ways to help others that confide in you about their problems。
Delia Turner
，
I was hoping for a scholarly dive into the origins， development， and varieties of inner speech， but that’s not this book。 It’s a really readable self-help book based on the author’s research， providing methods for dealing with anxiety and other forms of distress （characterized as inner chatter）。 As such， it’s pretty useful。
Chad Petrie
，
I got a good handful of insights out of this book — specifically on the mechanism of distancing， and how awe functions to remove yourself from the center of things， and how this concept of self-focus seems to be undergirding every idea this books puts forth， and what that says about consciousness and mental health — but the majority of the text is rather obvious or common-knowledge seeming。 Maybe that’s just because I’ve gone through lots of therapy？ If you haven’t had a therapist before this wo I got a good handful of insights out of this book — specifically on the mechanism of distancing， and how awe functions to remove yourself from the center of things， and how this concept of self-focus seems to be undergirding every idea this books puts forth， and what that says about consciousness and mental health — but the majority of the text is rather obvious or common-knowledge seeming。 Maybe that’s just because I’ve gone through lots of therapy？ If you haven’t had a therapist before this would be especially helpful I think。 。。。more
Andrew Ellsworth
，
3。5 rounding to 4。 There’s some really useful tools in this book， and while I appreciated the concise， well-organized format， some concepts could have been developed a little more。
Paul Miller
，
Quick， approachable， pop-psych read on easy-to-apply strategies to calm that chaos in your head that can occasionally appear when we're under stress。 The ones that most resonated w/me: objective distancing， getting outside in nature， seeking awe-inspiring experiences， and embracing OCD-ish habits where you control what you can control。 While I admire those who've committed themselves to a lifelong practice of meditation， having a few nudges to rely upon in the times I'm getting myself wrapped in Quick， approachable， pop-psych read on easy-to-apply strategies to calm that chaos in your head that can occasionally appear when we're under stress。 The ones that most resonated w/me: objective distancing， getting outside in nature， seeking awe-inspiring experiences， and embracing OCD-ish habits where you control what you can control。 While I admire those who've committed themselves to a lifelong practice of meditation， having a few nudges to rely upon in the times I'm getting myself wrapped in knots seems tons easier to me。 Recommended！ 。。。more
Beth
，
A really interesting insight into "chatter"， the negative， sometimes incessant monologue inside our heads。 I definitely gained a few nuggets of wisdom from this book which have helped me see things from a different perspective， but mostly this felt more like an accessible introduction into this huge area of psychology。 A really interesting insight into "chatter"， the negative， sometimes incessant monologue inside our heads。 I definitely gained a few nuggets of wisdom from this book which have helped me see things from a different perspective， but mostly this felt more like an accessible introduction into this huge area of psychology。 。。。more
Burcu
，
Some books remain with me as an internal compass after I read them。 I think this is one of those books。 Whenever I notice my internal voice bringing me down， I will hopefully be remembering this book and rooting myself back to reality through the learnings。 Valuable work based on academic evidence， written in simple to the point language， full of solid advices that are easy to recall。 Highly recommended。
Venky
，
As human beings， we frequently have silent conversations with ourselves。 Popularly referred to as “inner speech” this powerful medium of language governs not only our interactions with the environment surrounding us， but also shapes our unconscious relationships with ourselves。 Writer and psychologist， Charles Fernyhough， provided a splendid and lasting perspective on this phenomenon in his book， The Voices Within。 Now， American experimental psychologist， neuroscientist， and Professor of Psychol As human beings， we frequently have silent conversations with ourselves。 Popularly referred to as “inner speech” this powerful medium of language governs not only our interactions with the environment surrounding us， but also shapes our unconscious relationships with ourselves。 Writer and psychologist， Charles Fernyhough， provided a splendid and lasting perspective on this phenomenon in his book， The Voices Within。 Now， American experimental psychologist， neuroscientist， and Professor of Psychology and Management at the University of Michigan， Ethan Kross， in a compelling book titled “Chatter”， writes about the perils and potential of the ‘inner monologue’ before setting out a slew of ‘tools’ to harness the power of such silent albeit eventful conversations。Kross’ findings represent the outcome of a myriad number of empirical research conducted by neuroscientists and psychologists （including Kross’ own experiments at the Emotion & Self Control Laboratory， of which he is the Director， at Michigan University）， about the human brain。 Kross unearths a remarkable similarity between conversing with others and talking to ourselves。 To back this argument， Kross refers his readers to the work of Belgian psychologist Bernard Rime。 Rime discovered that in the same way in which our inner voice is triggered during moments of extreme stress， human beings also feel compelled to talk to one another when caught between a rock and a hard place。 This inner voice can also be an absolute demon。 Incessant and unwelcome chatter when it intrudes upon our day to day activities， may have threatening and unintended consequences。 Kross articulates this aspect in agonizing detail， by explaining to his readers the mental block that put paid to the hopes of the much touted Major League Baseball pitcher， Rick Ankiel。Kross writes about a study that found out that we talk to ourselves at a rate equivalent to spitting out 4，000 words per minute。 In comparison， the American President’s State of the Union address， usually runs to about 6，000 words， and lasts more than an hour。 Thus in one single day， we talk to ourselves using words that would constitute 320 State of the Union addresses。 In order to distinguish constructive from the cacophony， Kross offers a “toolbox” that can be effectively employed to tone down chatter。For example， Kross urges us to practice what he terms “distanced self-talk”。 This represents having a conversation with ourselves as though we were a different persona altogether。 This provides an invaluable “fly-on-the-wall” perspective using which we can impartially evaluate our actions， follies， and frailties。 When LeBron James made what at that time was a very difficult move from Cleveland Cavaliers to Miami Heat， he reinforced his belief in various interviews by slipping into the second or third person narrative。 “And then there was the American historian Henry Adams’s Pulitzer Prize–winning autobiography， published in 1918， which he narrated entirely in the third person。 In keeping with this stylistic approach， he didn’t title the book My Education or something similar。 He called it The Education of Henry Adams。”Kross writes about the study conducted by psychologists Stephanie Carlson and Rachel White。 This study led to the pioneering of a concept known as the “Batman Effect”。 A group of children were encouraged to pretend they were a superhero as they were given an unappealing task designed to simulate the experience of having to complete a tedious homework assignment。 “The kids were asked to assume the role of the character and then ask themselves how they were performing on the task using the character’s name。 For example， a girl in the study who was pretending to be Dora the Explorer was instructed to ask herself， “Is Dora working hard？” during the study。 Carlson and White found that the kids who did this persevered longer than children who reflected on their experience the normal way using “I。” （Kids in a third group who used their own names also outperformed the I-group。）”A few other techniques from the Kross repertoire include:Practicing “awe” inducing activities such as getting oneself immersed in a monumental work of art， or taking a leisurely walk in the mountains， or even watching a toddler take her first tiny， hesitant step;Journaling。 Writing a daily journal and also setting down on paper （don’t bother with the nitpicking over grammar） the most negative effects experienced by the writer during the course of that particular day;Normalization。 The realisation that you are not the only sufferer of adverse consequences in the world can help one overcome the effects of negative chatter in the head;The power of touch。 Just the innocuous gesture of putting a hand over someone’s shoulder can have the positive result of providing adequate strength and succour in dealing with negative chatter。 However， as Kross warns， this technique can be resorted to only when such a touch is welcome。Rituals。 Getting into a habitual ritual may also be helpful even though there are people who take this technique to hitherto unimagined heights。 The well known model Heidi Klum is supposed to carry her baby teeth in a tiny bag to overcome the fear of flying。 During turbulence， she is known to clutch her bag tight。 Stephanie Rice， the Australian Olympic swimmer swings her arms eight times， presses her goggles four times， and touches her cap four times before every race。Placebos can also be a powerful medium to control and reign in negative chatter。 Self-belief and conviction combine to induce commensurate physiological changes that result in various positive outcomes。 The placebo effect was demonstrated in somewhat unusual circumstances in the eighteenth century by Franz Anton Mesmer。 A physician trained in Vienna， Mesmer laid claims to a path breaking development in the field of medicine。 According to Mesmer， a whole horde of physical as well as emotional ailments could be reversed by an alteration of the flow of an imperceptible force that coursed through the universe using magnetic principles alone。 Armed with a plethora of magnets， Mesmer repeatedly pulled rabbits out of multiple hats。 He miraculously cured people’s conditions by channeling this invisible energy with magnets and his hands。 He called this technique ‘animal magnetism。’ It would later be immortalized as “mesmerism。”He even cured， albeit for a temporary period， the blindness of Maria Theresia von Paradis， an Austrian musician and composer who lost her sight at an early age， and for whom Mozart may have written his Piano Concerto No。 18。 Benjamin Franklin， the great American inventor， and scientist who happened to be in the same location as Mesmer， was commissioned to investigate the veracity of the physician’s techniques。 Franklin’s study concluded that the cures had nothing to do with mesmerism。 The technique of animal magnetism invested in the patients a sense of conviction and positive affirmation which， in turn led to the curing of their ailments。 What Mesmer did was just encourage a placebo effect。At the end of the book， Kross informs his readers about a curricula which he， in tandem with his team， has devised on the cause and consequence of chatter that can be taught in schools。 Kross is steadfast in his view that children should be imparted the science behind the inner conversations。 Such lessons would greatly help them in self-regulation。With an insidious pandemic wreaking global havoc， mental fragilities have exponentially increased leading to depression and mental fatigue。 Kross’ timely work could not have been published at a more relevant and appropriate juncture。 His work on channeling， harnessing， and dumbing down on our voices within is an indispensable salve to be applied liberally。 。。。more
Amanda
，
Audio-booked this one at an important time when chatter was at an all time high。 Towards the end the author reflects on a question from a student asking “why are we only learning of this now？” And I feel I relate to this。 Essential reading and understanding for teens as they navigate the chaos of life。 To understand the difference between a threat and a challenge - a challenge is when you know you have the resources to overcome it。 The book is filled with really helpful tools to recognise and re Audio-booked this one at an important time when chatter was at an all time high。 Towards the end the author reflects on a question from a student asking “why are we only learning of this now？” And I feel I relate to this。 Essential reading and understanding for teens as they navigate the chaos of life。 To understand the difference between a threat and a challenge - a challenge is when you know you have the resources to overcome it。 The book is filled with really helpful tools to recognise and reorientate your chatter， insightful experiments as well as some personal reflections。Recommended 。。。more
Jmp
，
Clever title。 Some good suggestions in the tools section。 I preferred the Taming Your Gremlins by Rick Carson and the charming illustrations。 Maybe I’ve read too many of this type book？
Max
，
Chatter provides you with not only a psychological understanding of the mind， but also a practical guide for harnessing its strengths and mitigating its weaknesses。 The author superbly connects the daily struggles we encounter and helps you employ certain techniques， behavioural changes and routines to counter those struggles。 It is surprisingly easy and quick to read。
Julie
，
I could have used this book decades ago。 The stories in the first part of the book drag a little， but stick with it。 He gets to the research and the tools to help people like me， whose brains just can't stop and who tend to catastrophize。 This also contains very good advice for people who just can't get over something bad that happened to them and are alienating everyone around them talking about it incessantly。 What's interesting is that he tells you not to try to stop the chatter， but to refra I could have used this book decades ago。 The stories in the first part of the book drag a little， but stick with it。 He gets to the research and the tools to help people like me， whose brains just can't stop and who tend to catastrophize。 This also contains very good advice for people who just can't get over something bad that happened to them and are alienating everyone around them talking about it incessantly。 What's interesting is that he tells you not to try to stop the chatter， but to reframe and make it work for you instead of against you。 He explains why mindfulness alone doesn't necessarily work for some of us 。Very good advice is dispensed based on research。 I'm going to watch for more books or YouTubes from this author。 。。。more
Rodrigo Böhl
，
Interesante。 Quizás mucho más de lo que me pareció a mí si el lector es ajeno a conceptos de disciplinas como la Psicología， que es mi carrera。Recopila acciones sencillas， esenciales y fáciles de poner en práctica para quienes como yo， y seguro que como todos， nos dejamos llevar por nuestros pensamientos negativos y circulares。 El autor los explica fácilmente y los sustenta con resultados de investigaciones científicas serias。Me hubiese gustado que explicara más acerca del origen de este comport Interesante。 Quizás mucho más de lo que me pareció a mí si el lector es ajeno a conceptos de disciplinas como la Psicología， que es mi carrera。Recopila acciones sencillas， esenciales y fáciles de poner en práctica para quienes como yo， y seguro que como todos， nos dejamos llevar por nuestros pensamientos negativos y circulares。 El autor los explica fácilmente y los sustenta con resultados de investigaciones científicas serias。Me hubiese gustado que explicara más acerca del origen de este comportamiento， así como las razones inconscientes por las que funcionan las recomendaciones que da para aliviarlo。Si su intención era facilitar conocimiento práctico al público en general， se cumplió。 Ya corresponde a curiosos como yo seguir explorando otros libros para dar respuesta a las preguntas que quedaron sin resolver。 。。。more
Sara Barker
，
The author examines the positive and negative effects of our self-talk （chatter， as the title implies） and provides readers with a deeper understanding to ourselves， while also making numerous suggestions for building a personal toolbox for better managing ourselves。 Acts as simple as distanced self-talk （yes - think about your self in the third person！）， and creating order in your environment are practical tools we can employ。 Quick， good read。
Fan Zhang
，
simple yet not well known techniques to deal with our chatter。 as the writer suggested in the last chapter， this ability should be included as early as possible in someone’s life， anyone really。
Francesca Pohlman
，
I don't normally enjoy self-help books， but Ethan Kross does a great job giving very practical， immediately usable tools to reduce negative chatter （rumination） in our minds。 All tools are backed up with real-life examples， statistics， and scientific studies。 He explains psychological and physical processes related to our mind's thought patterns in terms the general population can understand。 I don't normally enjoy self-help books， but Ethan Kross does a great job giving very practical， immediately usable tools to reduce negative chatter （rumination） in our minds。 All tools are backed up with real-life examples， statistics， and scientific studies。 He explains psychological and physical processes related to our mind's thought patterns in terms the general population can understand。 。。。more
Md Monirul
，