Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole
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- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2022-04-03 05:19:46
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Susan Cain
- ISBN：B09BV7K7BQ
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
Loss and impermanence are inescapable， part of the warp and weft of our lives。 They are essential to love， to growth， and to art。 And yet， too often， we do not acknowledge loss in the broadest sense， let alone honour the experience of it。 We see it as a bad thing， rather than understanding that using our suffering will lead to true compassion。
Illuminating， thoughtful， and deeply necessary， Susan Cain's new book will help us to name and value the experience of loss， pointing the way toward ways of being and rituals that help us to accept it rather than bury it。 Blending memoir， reportage， and social science， it will reveal that joy and loss exist in equilibrium; that vulnerability， loss and sorrow can be strengths; and that embracing our inevitable losses makes us more human and more whole。
Illuminating， thoughtful， and deeply necessary， Susan Cain's new book will help us to name and value the experience of loss， pointing the way toward ways of being and rituals that help us to accept it rather than bury it。 Blending memoir， reportage， and social science， it will reveal that joy and loss exist in equilibrium; that vulnerability， loss and sorrow can be strengths; and that embracing our inevitable losses makes us more human and more whole。
Reviews
Guinevere
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Premise: all humans experience profound pain， to which there are two potential responses。 The first is to ignore it and then taking it out on other people; the other is to accept that pain is part of life and transform it into beauty。
Lindsey
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Bittersweet was hard to get through。 Not because it was bad， but because it comes with moments that require deep self-reflection。 Cain explores the idea of bittersweet moments and the people who lean towards melancholy。 She interviews an array of people， from the creators of a Pixar movie， to spiritual teachers。 The result is a book that makes you think。 I’ve found myself sharing what I’ve learned with anyone who will listen。In college I took a required class called “what it means to be human。” Bittersweet was hard to get through。 Not because it was bad， but because it comes with moments that require deep self-reflection。 Cain explores the idea of bittersweet moments and the people who lean towards melancholy。 She interviews an array of people， from the creators of a Pixar movie， to spiritual teachers。 The result is a book that makes you think。 I’ve found myself sharing what I’ve learned with anyone who will listen。In college I took a required class called “what it means to be human。” We read literature about different human experiences such as love and family but at the end of the class， the conclusion was that suffering is what makes us human。 At the time I did not like this as an answer and thought that it was unfair。 After reading this book， I see a similar conclusion， but with a more hopeful light。 Suffering connects us and is how empathetic bonds are created。 Instead of being something to feared， Cain describes it as something that it something we all have to go through， but can grow and take comfort in。Highly recommended for those who take solace in sad songs。 。。。more
Linda
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This is well researched and well documented look at hereditary guilt， longing， grief and the acceptance of our own inevitable death。 And perhaps I’ve gained a bit of insight into why I shed tears so easily and for so little reason！Thanks to NetGalley and Crown Publishing Group for the ARC to read and review。
Catherine （alternativelytitledbooks）
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**Many thanks to NetGalley， Crown， and Susan Cain for an ARC of this book！！** Now a BOTM book for April！ "'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony， that's life。。。"-The VerveSusan Cain is perhaps best known for starting the "Quiet Revolution"， a movement spurned by her first book， where the hidden power of the introvert was brought to light and readers all over the world （myself included） rejoiced。 What if the extrovert "ideal" and energy we are all supposed to aspire to encompass should instead be **Many thanks to NetGalley， Crown， and Susan Cain for an ARC of this book！！** Now a BOTM book for April！ "'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony， that's life。。。"-The VerveSusan Cain is perhaps best known for starting the "Quiet Revolution"， a movement spurned by her first book， where the hidden power of the introvert was brought to light and readers all over the world （myself included） rejoiced。 What if the extrovert "ideal" and energy we are all supposed to aspire to encompass should instead be tamped down。。。and the power of the introspective， quiet， ponderer be brought center stage？In Bittersweet， Cain poses a different question: have you ever loved listening to a sad song that pulled at your heart， gave you goosebumps， maybe even made you tear up and wondered "why？" How on earth can I feel broken。。。and yet whole at the same time？ Susan Cain explores this phenomenon in Bittersweet， and while some of her conclusions may not feel entirely new， this book reads as part memoir， part self-help， and part thesis on how the most heartbreaking times and even the most tragic circumstances we face in life can lead us to greatness。 What sets this basic theory （you can't have light without dark） apart from so many other explorations of the same topic is Cain's refusal to go entirely down a religious path （of course， spirituality plays a part in the journey of many， and she does reflect on the application of these ideas in different religions throughout）。 Instead， she takes a deep dive into the history of longing， how we process trauma， and how suffering is not only a necessary part of life， but an opportunity for the deepest kinship we can process as humans。 She also decries the notion than an appreciation for the dark and mysterious is tied to depression or depressive behavior， which is a welcome stance in a world that can't seem to separate the two。 In a revealing and heart-wrenching chapter， Cain even reveals some very personal trauma in her own life and lets the reader inside her relationship with her mother， as well as a discussion of some personal loss she has suffered in the last two years， in light of the pandemic。 There is so much to unpack here， and this book is the perfect blend of self-help， philosophical thought， and a reflection of who we are as a human race--and all we can become。 Cain also has a fantastic book club kit to supplement this read， complete with a Bittersweet playlist （HIGHLY recommended） just to help enhance your experience and flex those bittersweet muscles。If Quiet was a love song to the quiet strength of the introvert， consider Bittersweet an ode to the power of melancholy to elicit joy， healing， and the endless pursuit of beauty---ever present， ever inspiring， but always JUST out of our reach。4 stars 。。。more
Megan
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Meditative and full of interesting opinions on life and death， this book brought up a lot of thoughts。 I liked how the ties between cultural differences， heritage， current norms， linguistic roots， and anecdotal stories were described。 I think this was informative in giving a basis for Cain's beliefs regarding Bittersweet and providing food for thought。Anyone who likes Brene Brown would most likely enjoy this as well， considering Cain's writing style has a similar feel。 She is a storyteller as we Meditative and full of interesting opinions on life and death， this book brought up a lot of thoughts。 I liked how the ties between cultural differences， heritage， current norms， linguistic roots， and anecdotal stories were described。 I think this was informative in giving a basis for Cain's beliefs regarding Bittersweet and providing food for thought。Anyone who likes Brene Brown would most likely enjoy this as well， considering Cain's writing style has a similar feel。 She is a storyteller as well blending facts and experiences into one narrative。 。。。more
Mrs C
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The author does a good job scratching the surface of why having a somber outlook has some benefits。 The part about the traumatized mice （and how scars from the trauma affect the disposition of offsprings or that helplessness can be inherited） did not feel particularly hopeful。 I guess one thing is for sure， thinking positively does not contribute to an authentically carefree life。 Thanks to the publisher for the review copy。
Rory
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I was a big fan of Susan's "Quiet" and was honored to be able to read this prior to its release。 Bittersweet touches upon emotions we often hide or don't discuss but that truly allow us to know & love ourselves and others。 This is a must-read， and not just for introverts。 I was a big fan of Susan's "Quiet" and was honored to be able to read this prior to its release。 Bittersweet touches upon emotions we often hide or don't discuss but that truly allow us to know & love ourselves and others。 This is a must-read， and not just for introverts。 。。。more
Steph Elias
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I loved this book。 I am a bittersweet type through and through and this book really hit home for me。 I enjoyed reading more about why things are the way they are， why some of us cry at sappy commercials or rainy days。 It helped me to really realize I am not alone， there are plenty of other folks like me。 The writing was fantastic and flowed smoothly from one chapter to the next。
Dan
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My thanks to both Net Galley and the publisher Crown Publishing for an advanced copy of new book on being who we are。 Why are we only happy when it rains？ Why does only a select group of people acknowledge the musical genius of Tom Waits， and when we meet we seem to have so much in common from world outlook to art to liking good-ole sad songs？ Susan Cain， author of the book Quiet which gave introverts like myself an understanding of what we are tries to answer this question in her new book Bitte My thanks to both Net Galley and the publisher Crown Publishing for an advanced copy of new book on being who we are。 Why are we only happy when it rains？ Why does only a select group of people acknowledge the musical genius of Tom Waits， and when we meet we seem to have so much in common from world outlook to art to liking good-ole sad songs？ Susan Cain， author of the book Quiet which gave introverts like myself an understanding of what we are tries to answer this question in her new book Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole。 That maybe the sadness we see when we watch a leaf fall， or even a touching advertisement on TV makes us more in touch with the world， and not just a sensitive emo who likes to wear black。Being bittersweet is not mopey， as some would say， or a mood that a person should grow out of， not a weakness that some would use to label。 The usual American look to the sunny side， or the religious， God doesn't give you more than you can handle sound much more unhealthy and unrealistic。 Bad things happen。 To everyone。 To quote the Flaming Lips "Everyone you know someday will die。" No amount of high hopes or positive aphorisms will change this。 However in being bittersweet or whatever you prefer to call it， makes a person more aware， and how things can and will change， for the worse sure， but the better seems much more enjoyable。 Instead of learning to turn your frown upside down， live with the frown， but don't let it beat you。Ms。 Cain uses an mix of science and personal stories， from her life and from the life of friends both famous and not。 The chapter begins with a bittersweet quiz， which after tabulating my scores， left me both happy and sad。 The personal stories all fit the chapter and gives proof to that story you have no idea what kind of day the other person is having。 The science is a mix of studies on the brain， nervous system and psychology。 A reader who finds this interesting is in for a lot of TED talks。 Leonard Cohen takes the stage and the power of music， with thoughts on religion， love death and other things that life has to offer。 Ms。 Cain has written another book that makes people feel seen。 That others watch ads and sniffle， puppies playing with babies in the park and have to look away。 That listen to the sad songs of bands more than the loud fist pumping works。 As a reader you know if this book if for you， but I do think that this is something that everyone bittersweet， sweet， even just candy sweet will get something out of。 。。。more
Chris Boutté
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This was such a beautiful book， and I’m extremely grateful that Susan and her team sent me an early copy of this book。 Susan Cain is well-known for her first book Quiet， which I was extremely late to the party on， and this book is totally different。 When I first heard about Susan’s upcoming book， I was worried it’d be too similar to Paul Bloom’s latest book The Sweet Spot， but it was totally unique。 As Susan explains early in this book， she’s been working on this book for years， but it’s taken a This was such a beautiful book， and I’m extremely grateful that Susan and her team sent me an early copy of this book。 Susan Cain is well-known for her first book Quiet， which I was extremely late to the party on， and this book is totally different。 When I first heard about Susan’s upcoming book， I was worried it’d be too similar to Paul Bloom’s latest book The Sweet Spot， but it was totally unique。 As Susan explains early in this book， she’s been working on this book for years， but it’s taken a long time to write， and it was well worth it。 In the book， she addresses the various forms of suffering we all deal with throughout our lives， and how we can shift our perspective on it。 Through a ton of touching stories from various interviews as well as a lot of research， we learn how our suffering doesn’t have to break us。Susan dives into a ton of great topics such as grief， loss， trauma， and much more。 Through the different interviews， you see how the different people found that they could be empowered by their experiences， and it helps the reader see that they aren’t alone。 I also loved how she spent time with Sharon Salzberg， who is an incredible meditation teacher and author that has helped me out a ton with her work。 One of the other parts of the book that I really loved was when Cain dives into the idea of the “wounded healer”， which I’ve experienced as a recovering drug addict who has worked in treatment and spends a lot of time trying to help others based on my personal experience。Throughout the book， I was comparing it to Cain’s previous book and wondering if it was as good。 Finally， I realized that it’s an unfair comparison because they’re so different。 It’s often difficult for an author to write something completely different from a previous smash-hit book， but Susan Cain did it， and I think Bittersweet is going to help a lot of people。 。。。more
Heather
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A big thank you to @netgalley and Crown Publishing for my advanced copy of Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole （out April 5th）。 This was one of my most anticipated reads of the year。 Truly， my most anticipated read since I turned the last page of her first book， Quiet。 It did not disappoint。 Another poignant， well-researched read from Susan Cain。 Bittersweet is about "the melancholic direction，" which Susan Cain names the 'bittersweet'。。。"a tendency to states of longing， poignancy， A big thank you to @netgalley and Crown Publishing for my advanced copy of Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole （out April 5th）。 This was one of my most anticipated reads of the year。 Truly， my most anticipated read since I turned the last page of her first book， Quiet。 It did not disappoint。 Another poignant， well-researched read from Susan Cain。 Bittersweet is about "the melancholic direction，" which Susan Cain names the 'bittersweet'。。。"a tendency to states of longing， poignancy， and sorrow; an acute awareness of passing time; and a curiously piercing joy at the beauty of the world。" Even if you don't identify as a 'bittersweet type' after taking her short Bittersweet Quiz （which， for the record， I do！）， you are still likely to gain a new appreciation and understanding for why you play that really sad song over and over （you know the one！） or why being in nature can often times feel like a spiritual experience。 At the very least， you may start to understand why some of us lean into the bittersweet in our own lives。Susan Cain's first book， Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking changed my life。 It made me feel seen in a way I hadn't before and， honestly， changed my relationship with my husband and in-laws （a family of extroverts）。 Bittersweet saw me。 It was the book I didn't know I needed after the past two years of ups and downs， tragedy， and finding the magic in the small moments。 This book saw a part of me I didn't know had a name， let alone， existed。 Pub date 04/05/22#Bittersweet #SusanCain #NetGalley #bookstagram 。。。more
Erika
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First off a huge thank you to Crown Publishing Group and Goodreads for providing me with an advanced copy of Bittersweet。 As a lover of Susan Cain’s earlier book， Quiet， this book was at the top of my 2022 reading list。 As someone who instinctively resists the trap of rampant positivity， I was intrigued by Cain’s premise that life is incredibly hard and unfair and yet there is beauty to be borne in the midst of the trials we all will inevitably face。 Throughout her book， Cain illustrates an impo First off a huge thank you to Crown Publishing Group and Goodreads for providing me with an advanced copy of Bittersweet。 As a lover of Susan Cain’s earlier book， Quiet， this book was at the top of my 2022 reading list。 As someone who instinctively resists the trap of rampant positivity， I was intrigued by Cain’s premise that life is incredibly hard and unfair and yet there is beauty to be borne in the midst of the trials we all will inevitably face。 Throughout her book， Cain illustrates an important point that grief and longing are not things to be easily dismissed， but instead have the potential to lead to some of the most beautiful and meaningful moments of our lives。 Indeed， simply reading the Prelude left me feeling bereft， but in the most wonderful way。 In addition to sharing some of her personal heartaches， Cain does an excellent job of approaching her topic from a variety of different backgrounds， science， and schools of religious thought。 There is literally something for everyone to relate to within the pages of this book and many new ways of thinking that expand one’s predisposed ideas on the subject of loss and longing。 One of the chapters that particularly interested me was the discussion on Epigenetics and the way that trauma， as well as resilience， can be passed from one generation to another。 I also enjoyed her discussion on the culture of positivity within America and the effects it has had on our society over the years。 Throughout the book there are many references to the work of C。S。 Lewis which led me to expect more insight into Christianity and the way it factors into the concepts of hope and grief。 Having read the book， I can understand why Cain chose not to focus too heavily on this perspective， but it still seemed like a minor oversight or missed opportunity in my view。 Still， Cain provides an extensive list of resources and works cited， which gives ample opportunity for further study。 Overall， Bittersweet is another excellent and thought provoking read from a much loved author。 I can’t wait to see it in bookstores。 。。。more
Leanne
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So interesting， and good， and deep， and powerful。
Richard S。
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