The Sex Lives of African Women: Self-Discovery, Freedom and Healing
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- Create Date：2022-03-17 17:21:36
- Update Date：2025-09-06
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- Author：Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah
- ISBN：1662650817
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Summary
“A book like none you will have read before… With sensitivity， this book has facilitated astonishing breaking of silences。 … Sekyiamah has delivered an extraordinarily dynamic work， true to her own precept that ‘Freedom is a constant state of being … that we need to nurture and protect。 Freedom is a safe home that one can return to over and over again。’” —Margaret Busby， The Guardian
A conversation starter like Three Women but centering the experiences of women of color: a mellifluous chorus celebrating the liberation， individuality， and joy of African women’s multifaceted sexuality。
From her blog， “Adventures from the Bedrooms of African Women，” Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah has spent decades talking openly and intimately to African women around the world about sex。 Here， she features the stories that most affected her， chronicling her own journey toward sexual freedom。
We meet Yami， a pansexual Canadian of Malawian heritage， who describes negotiating the line between family dynamics and sexuality。 There’s Esther， a cis-gendered hetero woman studying in America， by way of Cameroun and Kenya， who talks of how a childhood rape has made her rebellious and estranged from her missionary parents。 And Tsitsi， an HIV-positive Zimbabwean woman who is raising a healthy， HIV-free baby。
Across a queer community in Egypt， polyamorous life in Senegal， and a reflection on the intersection of religion and pleasure in Cameroun， Sekyiamah explores the many layers of love and desire， its expression， and how it forms who we are。
In these confessional pages， women control their own bodies and pleasure， and assert their sexual power。 Capturing the rich tapestry of sex positivity， The Sex Lives of African Women is a singular and subversive book that celebrates the liberation， individuality， and joy of African women’s multifaceted sexuality。
A conversation starter like Three Women but centering the experiences of women of color: a mellifluous chorus celebrating the liberation， individuality， and joy of African women’s multifaceted sexuality。
From her blog， “Adventures from the Bedrooms of African Women，” Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah has spent decades talking openly and intimately to African women around the world about sex。 Here， she features the stories that most affected her， chronicling her own journey toward sexual freedom。
We meet Yami， a pansexual Canadian of Malawian heritage， who describes negotiating the line between family dynamics and sexuality。 There’s Esther， a cis-gendered hetero woman studying in America， by way of Cameroun and Kenya， who talks of how a childhood rape has made her rebellious and estranged from her missionary parents。 And Tsitsi， an HIV-positive Zimbabwean woman who is raising a healthy， HIV-free baby。
Across a queer community in Egypt， polyamorous life in Senegal， and a reflection on the intersection of religion and pleasure in Cameroun， Sekyiamah explores the many layers of love and desire， its expression， and how it forms who we are。
In these confessional pages， women control their own bodies and pleasure， and assert their sexual power。 Capturing the rich tapestry of sex positivity， The Sex Lives of African Women is a singular and subversive book that celebrates the liberation， individuality， and joy of African women’s multifaceted sexuality。
Reviews
Mercy
，
I'm glad this was written。 The stories here had to be told and I hope conversations like these happen more and are perceived as taboo less。 I'm glad this was written。 The stories here had to be told and I hope conversations like these happen more and are perceived as taboo less。 。。。more
Britney Renee
，
Very empowering
Léna
，
This is absolutely the kind of book that would spark a conversation with my friends and I can’t wait to share with them。 It touches on topics that are taboo or painful with sensitivity and without sensationalizing the stories it’s trying to tell。 In a way it normalizes the variety of experiences African women can have， and reveals the freedom and agency that can be carved even in the most difficult situations。 I love that this book makes place for both grief and joy。 Writing wise I wish I felt m This is absolutely the kind of book that would spark a conversation with my friends and I can’t wait to share with them。 It touches on topics that are taboo or painful with sensitivity and without sensationalizing the stories it’s trying to tell。 In a way it normalizes the variety of experiences African women can have， and reveals the freedom and agency that can be carved even in the most difficult situations。 I love that this book makes place for both grief and joy。 Writing wise I wish I felt more of a stylistic difference between the testimonies in this book。 The most enjoyable ones where those where I felt from the text that the woman was speaking in her own voice。 I still liked that they were short and conversational pieces。 I think the author is aware of it but there is definitely a self selection bias issue with the interviews。 I noticed a pattern of testimonies coming from women whose lives are structured around migration and a certain amount of privilege， and it’s not often addressed directly within the narrative。 It doesn’t bother me because it’s also true of my experience， and the book doesn’t claim to be universal， or an exhaustive survey， but it does raise the question of why so many black/african women feel like they have to leave their communities to find their truth， and why are only some of us are afforded this option。 But that’s one for the book club to try and answer ;）I received an eARC through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review 。。。more
lilly s。
，
i ended up really liking this collection。 i read it very slowly which i preferred because it gave me the opportunity to spend time with every individual woman and their story。 this book spans people across the big & beautiful African diaspora and although every experience is perfectly unique， it lent to a bigger unification of the women portrayed。 this was probably due to the authors ability at introducing & personalizing every story。 i think this a must read book for a different perspective of i ended up really liking this collection。 i read it very slowly which i preferred because it gave me the opportunity to spend time with every individual woman and their story。 this book spans people across the big & beautiful African diaspora and although every experience is perfectly unique， it lent to a bigger unification of the women portrayed。 this was probably due to the authors ability at introducing & personalizing every story。 i think this a must read book for a different perspective of sex， love， desire， intimacy， and unity than what we usually get in publishing。 。。。more
afrobookricua
，
𝗦𝗮𝗹𝗺𝗮: “𝗜 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗿𝗶𝗯𝘀 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝗺𝗮𝗻， 𝗯𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀， 𝘁𝘄𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝘁， 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂， 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝗳 𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼” （𝟮𝟬𝟴）。This book came to me at a perfect time in my life。 I will be candid with this reflection。 I feel like I’m finally becoming more comfortable with my own wants and needs as I enter another decade。 I feel reassured and more determined to seek freedom in all ways when it comes to my sexuality。 I’ve scoured over a c 𝗦𝗮𝗹𝗺𝗮: “𝗜 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗿𝗶𝗯𝘀 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝗺𝗮𝗻， 𝗯𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀， 𝘁𝘄𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝘁， 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂， 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝗳 𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼” （𝟮𝟬𝟴）。This book came to me at a perfect time in my life。 I will be candid with this reflection。 I feel like I’m finally becoming more comfortable with my own wants and needs as I enter another decade。 I feel reassured and more determined to seek freedom in all ways when it comes to my sexuality。 I’ve scoured over a couple of interviews with the author - Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah - because I’m enamored by her work and intention as a Pansexual African feminist。 When turning 30， she expresses this was the first time she experienced a big sexual awakening and confidence within herself。 I felt validated because for the past year or so I wasn’t sure what these feelings were internally。In the preface， the author states “I think and write about sex in order to learn how to have better sex。” I loved this。 Everything I’ve personally read or experienced about sex and intimacy has been shrouded by the desire to please and validate men intimately only rather than myself as a woman。 Even with sex and intimacy， the Black women is thinking of everything BUT herself。 She’s expected to be selfless when it comes to her desires and needs like everything else in her life。 The experiences I read in this book from African women ranging from the actual continent and the global Diaspora was truly grounding。 I took moments to reflect deeply and presently feel compelled to do research where I can be closer and hugged by this type of narration on healing， self-discovery， and journey towards freedom by Black women when it comes to their sexuality。Many of the women’s stories are narrated in first person which made the experience of reading this so vivid and personal。 Before each glimpse into the women’s lives， there is a preface on how the author met them and how the connection came to be。 I felt a deep connection with: Gabriela， Kuchenga， Shanita， Alexis and Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah herself。 In particular， I can probably re-read Alexis’ portion a million times。 She’s a 71 year old Afro-Caribbean born in Harlem NY。 She’s a black queer feminist and author who has found the woman and love her life in her sixties。 Like the author expresses， Alexis’ life was so affirming， lush， and inspiring。 Alexis: “𝗠𝘆 𝗲𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗰𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺， 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝘀𝗼 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗮 𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼𝗴𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿， 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿， 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿。 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝘀𝗼 𝗮 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲。 𝗢𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗯𝘆 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿” （𝟭𝟰𝟭）。Thank you for my #gifted giveaway copy @astrahousebooks！ 。。。more
Sarah Wavi
，
A very detailed book that everyone has to read to understand how women have had to grow up too soon and navigate through life with said and unsaid trauma。
Kassidi。 Under The Radar Books。
，
Sex-positive and liberating， THE SEX LIVES OF AFRICAN WOMEN is diverse and then some。 An anthology of stories that run a spectrum of identities and orientations。 They are beautiful stories of sex and love and relationships ranging from monogamy and polyamory and everything in between。 There are stories of abuse and of the ramifications along those lines。 There are stories of kink and experimentation。 There are stories of finding what works and what doesn’t。 But mostly these are stories of how wo Sex-positive and liberating， THE SEX LIVES OF AFRICAN WOMEN is diverse and then some。 An anthology of stories that run a spectrum of identities and orientations。 They are beautiful stories of sex and love and relationships ranging from monogamy and polyamory and everything in between。 There are stories of abuse and of the ramifications along those lines。 There are stories of kink and experimentation。 There are stories of finding what works and what doesn’t。 But mostly these are stories of how women identify and how their sexual lives are experienced。 There’s a lot about setting sexual boundaries， learning and growing from sexual experiences and relationships， and becoming the most whole of a person you can be no matter what your orientation is and no matter who you have sex with。 Very fem。 Very informative and inspiring！Quite the read！Thanks to Astra Publishing House and Netgalley for the advanced copy！⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 。。。more
Shaa
，
Good work。 I was first miffed by the underrepresentation of a huge chunk of African women but it's fine。 It is okay。 Good work。 I was first miffed by the underrepresentation of a huge chunk of African women but it's fine。 It is okay。 。。。more
Donna
，
This was a phenomenal book。 I would highly recommend
Phoebe
，
Feels weird to rate this because you can’t rate peoples experience， but found it beautiful， empowering， insightful and would recommend
Betty Kioko
，
There’s a lot of soul in this book。 I think because the writer tries to capture a diverse number of experiences by black women。
Lansky
，
Most of stories are from middle age women all over the globe。 I gained insight on how sex could be such a tremendous discovery journey for women。 Tge book basically covers all sex communities 。 I loved that。
Alison
，
This is an interesting book about， well， sex。 Sekyiamah has spoken to a range of women about their experiences with sex。 Unsurprisingly perhaps， queer women and polyamorous women are well-represented。 The strength here is in the personal impact of the stories - the strength that women have derived through sexuality and owning it。 The book was a little narrower in scope than I had expected - the focus is tightly on 。 I also forgot that I don't really like reading about sex， which is， of course， e This is an interesting book about， well， sex。 Sekyiamah has spoken to a range of women about their experiences with sex。 Unsurprisingly perhaps， queer women and polyamorous women are well-represented。 The strength here is in the personal impact of the stories - the strength that women have derived through sexuality and owning it。 The book was a little narrower in scope than I had expected - the focus is tightly on 。 I also forgot that I don't really like reading about sex， which is， of course， entirely on me。 。。。more
Priscilla Nyaga
，
What an important book for African women。 Highly recommended。
Kevin Isaac
，
A must-read to all women if possible。 As young as possible。
Regan
，
An outstanding exploration into the sexuality of each woman。 I really enjoyed the flow of the writing and the truth behind each word。
seph
，
This book was so necessary and eye-opening， I was pleasantly surprised by the diversity in the types of women whose stories were told， this book is such an important read and I would recommend it to anyone！
Jouja
，
A nurturing book that mercilessly broke the taboo subject of sex。 It’s almost like watching a documentary about all these women who spoke freely and openly about their sexuality。 For each story， I tried to put a face on each of these women to make the stories even more alive。 It’s crazy how you see people everyday and never know what they’re going through of what their desires are。 These stories were cheerful， hopeful， painful， raw， overwhelming， emotional and overall beautiful ！ A few of them s A nurturing book that mercilessly broke the taboo subject of sex。 It’s almost like watching a documentary about all these women who spoke freely and openly about their sexuality。 For each story， I tried to put a face on each of these women to make the stories even more alive。 It’s crazy how you see people everyday and never know what they’re going through of what their desires are。 These stories were cheerful， hopeful， painful， raw， overwhelming， emotional and overall beautiful ！ A few of them seemed incomplete to me but to each their own。 Took a while to finish but I’m glad I did。 Finally a good book that’s exclusively about African and women of color without victimization。 Each woman had her own voice ！ Kudos to Nana Darkoa for putting this together！ 。。。more
Lelo Osidipe
，
Definitely didn’t feel like a documentary。 For most of the stories， I saw bits and pieces of my friends and I in them。 It’s a good book。 One that should not be rushed but digested in bits with an open mind。 Reminded me that there are more Africans in this world than West Africans 🌚。However， I’m very glad to see more African women talk about the “taboo” topic and own their sexuality。 Though some stories made me shout “Blood of Jesus” in awe， it was a very good book especially the part of the heal Definitely didn’t feel like a documentary。 For most of the stories， I saw bits and pieces of my friends and I in them。 It’s a good book。 One that should not be rushed but digested in bits with an open mind。 Reminded me that there are more Africans in this world than West Africans 🌚。However， I’m very glad to see more African women talk about the “taboo” topic and own their sexuality。 Though some stories made me shout “Blood of Jesus” in awe， it was a very good book especially the part of the healing。 It also made me realise that a lot of women have experienced sexual abuse and we are dealing with our trauma the best way we can。 All we can do is be kind to one another。 Tbh if all non-fiction books were like this， I wouldn’t mind them。 。。。more
Sipho
，
First off: this is an absolutely necessary book。Its rare that black， African women are given the opportunity to speak their truth， generally。 Regarding their sexuality and sex lives， more specifically。This collection of short essays from a cross-section of African and Afro-adjacent women was thus a breath of fresh air。And as expected， the book opened my eyes to lifestyles and experiences that I just had no clue existed。From swingers to open relationships to individuals who are willingly celibate First off: this is an absolutely necessary book。Its rare that black， African women are given the opportunity to speak their truth， generally。 Regarding their sexuality and sex lives， more specifically。This collection of short essays from a cross-section of African and Afro-adjacent women was thus a breath of fresh air。And as expected， the book opened my eyes to lifestyles and experiences that I just had no clue existed。From swingers to open relationships to individuals who are willingly celibate， there are a range of sex lives chronicled here。But I couldn't help but feel that much of these experiences were rooted in some kind of trauma or abuse。 And that's an indictment of how badly women and girls on the continent are treated。Still， I would have loved a section dedicated to more "traditional" family structures and to hear from women who are happy and thriving in those relationships。Also， while I appreciated the many voices， I feel it became an amorphous bunch of stories and the impact of each story was diminished somewhat。 Which is a real shame。Many of the stories also ended abruptly or didn't feel fully developed。All that said， far be it from me to tell people HOW to tell their own stories but I wonder whether this book could have been a 2 volume set。Nonetheless， this is in many ways a groundbreaking book。 While I don't agree with many of the life choices some of these ladies have made， the need for these conversations trumps that。 。。。more
Michelle Wandera
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All women need to read this book despite their race。 It’s very liberating。 It is raw and not pretentious。 Love it。 One of the best books I have had the privilege of reading。
barbarah Degley
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In Nana’s words， I feel lucky that I got to tap into the eroticism and sensuality of these black women。 A lot of foreign stuff was going on in this book which was a pleasant adventure for me。 All of my shenanigans is up there in one highlight-“commentary”， you should check it out。 Amongst other reasons to read this book， read for the awareness！Im quite traumatized for these writers。
Wangari
，
I strongly feel this book deserves to be gifted to every woman one's they turn the age of majority！ Especially knowing that in most homes Sex is an abomination topic， this would be a really good big sister to reassure/give the confidence boost etc I loved how the women have all these different dynamics and especially the age！ Who said the older one gets， the less they enjoy sex or all that😳 70yr Olds are having blooming sex lives outchea boo😘Nana， kudos for this Masterpiece！ 'Are you a dog when I strongly feel this book deserves to be gifted to every woman one's they turn the age of majority！ Especially knowing that in most homes Sex is an abomination topic， this would be a really good big sister to reassure/give the confidence boost etc I loved how the women have all these different dynamics and especially the age！ Who said the older one gets， the less they enjoy sex or all that😳 70yr Olds are having blooming sex lives outchea boo😘Nana， kudos for this Masterpiece！ 'Are you a dog when you do doggy style？' 😂That will be living rent free in my head🤗 。。。more
Chris Newens
，
An engaging， intimate account from a wide variety of women， which beyond anything else is a reminder that there are almost as many different attitudes towards sex as there are people to have them。 Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah's touch is light， allowing a real polyphony of distinct voices to shine through - not at all true with many oral histories I've read。 This said， there was less variety in the women interviewed than I was expecting when I picked up the book。 The majority are clearly middle class， m An engaging， intimate account from a wide variety of women， which beyond anything else is a reminder that there are almost as many different attitudes towards sex as there are people to have them。 Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah's touch is light， allowing a real polyphony of distinct voices to shine through - not at all true with many oral histories I've read。 This said， there was less variety in the women interviewed than I was expecting when I picked up the book。 The majority are clearly middle class， most live outside of Africa， and are in their 30s when the interviews take place。 There are a handful of exceptions， which tended for me to be the most fascinating of the book's passages， being so far from any world I've ever encountered - the opening story of the woman living as the third wife in a polygamous marriage for example。 In general， The Sex Lives of African Women is an excellent， enlightening step toward the telling of a secret history， but for all it reveals， it also serves as a reminder of how much remains hidden。 。。。more
Ashley Muthaka
，
This was such an interacting read that collected different African women’s sexual experiences， some were light and liberating and others heartbreaking。 I loved Nana decided to add her story at the end and it was raw and so honest。“We all need healing of some sort and when it comes to sex there’s a whole lot of healing that Black and African women need。”
mewilec
，
I loved this book！ It's always cool to read about how other people live their lives。 My complaints are few but they really impacted the way in which I interacted with the book。 I feel like the author set out to explore certain topics but ended doing so at a very surface level。 For instance - to me at least - it isn't really clear how sex helped with some of the women's self-discovery。 There were also quite a few cases of internalised misogyny from the interviewees。 This was not really acknowledg I loved this book！ It's always cool to read about how other people live their lives。 My complaints are few but they really impacted the way in which I interacted with the book。 I feel like the author set out to explore certain topics but ended doing so at a very surface level。 For instance - to me at least - it isn't really clear how sex helped with some of the women's self-discovery。 There were also quite a few cases of internalised misogyny from the interviewees。 This was not really acknowledged。I also feel like she focused on a very particular type of sex life - that is， polyamory。 I understand why of course。 Polyamory is misunderstood and it is important to clear up the misconceptions and stigma surrounding it。 However， the fact that it was explored so frequently ended up making the book very monotonous。 She also didn't speak about cultural/traditional polygamy。 I found that super shocking！ She interviewed one Muslim woman who was in a Muslim polygamous marriage - the only polygamous woman in the entire book。 However， she didn't interview a single woman who was in a cultural polygamous marriage。 Polygamy is legal in a lot of African countries so I cannot understand why she didn't interview a woman who was in that kind of polygamous marriage。 Obviously， she had to conduct these interviews on her own。 This means that she had a bunch of logistical constraints。 The fact that she managed to write such a beautiful book with all these constraints makes it even better。 I'd highly HIGHLY recommend it。 。。。more
Tolu
，
How can i rate this anything but a 5？
Sika
，
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 Very interesting stories presented。 However， the quality of writing is a bit uneven。
Ice Angel🤍
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I love This bookAt a point it felt like I was Bibi because the experience was whole and you’d be able to feel and go through every woman’s experience。It’s also very educative and there’s just a very beautiful insight 。A must read “A reminder that healing is different for everyone。I feel lucky that I got to tap into the eroticism and sensuality of Black women。 An eroticism sustained by body confidence， nurture （including good food）， and experimentation。 I was often reminded that good sex takes pr I love This bookAt a point it felt like I was Bibi because the experience was whole and you’d be able to feel and go through every woman’s experience。It’s also very educative and there’s just a very beautiful insight 。A must read “A reminder that healing is different for everyone。I feel lucky that I got to tap into the eroticism and sensuality of Black women。 An eroticism sustained by body confidence， nurture （including good food）， and experimentation。 I was often reminded that good sex takes practice and starts with the self。”“Today I feel like my best sex life is being lived in my imagination。 I’m a lot more free in my mind than I am in my body。 I dream and fantasise a lot but I don’t necessarily create the kind of experiences that would allow me to enjoy the feelings that I think about。 I want to be able to let go a lot more。 ”“I’ve had guys break up with me because I told them they did not prioritise my sexual needs。 There are moments when I wonder， Am I going to be alone for the rest of my life？ I’m tired of having flings。 I want a relationship。”“Don’t play with boys。If you play with boys you will get pregnant。I didn’t really know or understand why I shouldn’t play with boys。 Nobody explained these things to me。 I was just always being told off。 ”“There is something that is lost when you fully commit to a relationship。 Or maybe I am afraid of what commitment looks like， feels like， and what it could do to my relationships。” 。。。more
Sherriz Mideva
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