Girls Can Kiss Now: Essays
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- Create Date：2022-03-09 18:21:40
- Update Date：2025-09-07
- Status：finish
- Author：Jill Gutowitz
- ISBN：1982158506
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Summary
Named One of the Most Anticipated Books of 2022 by Vogue， BuzzFeed， Bustle， Marie Claire， Harper’s Bazaar， Electric Lit， Thrillist， and Glamour
“Wickedly funny and heartstoppingly vulnerable…every page twinkles with brilliance。” —Refinery29
Perfect for fans of Samantha Irby and Trick Mirror， a funny， whip-smart collection of personal essays exploring the intersection of queerness， relationships， pop culture， the internet， and identity， introducing one of the most undeniably original new voices today。
Jill Gutowitz’s life—for better and worse—has always been on a collision course with pop culture。 There’s the time the FBI showed up at her door because of something she tweeted about Game of Thrones。 The pop songs that have been the soundtrack to the worst moments of her life。 And of course， the pivotal day when Orange Is the New Black hit the airwaves and broke down the door to Jill’s own sexuality。 In these honest examinations of identity， desire， and self-worth， Jill explores perhaps the most monumental cultural shift of our lifetimes: the mainstreaming of lesbian culture。 Dusting off her own personal traumas and artifacts of her not-so-distant youth she examines how pop culture acts as a fun house mirror reflecting and refracting our values—always teaching， distracting， disappointing， and revealing us。
Girls Can Kiss Now is a fresh and intoxicating blend of personal stories， sharp observations， and laugh-out-loud humor。 This timely collection of essays helps us make sense of our collective pop-culture past even as it points the way toward a joyous， uproarious， near—and very queer—future。
“Wickedly funny and heartstoppingly vulnerable…every page twinkles with brilliance。” —Refinery29
Perfect for fans of Samantha Irby and Trick Mirror， a funny， whip-smart collection of personal essays exploring the intersection of queerness， relationships， pop culture， the internet， and identity， introducing one of the most undeniably original new voices today。
Jill Gutowitz’s life—for better and worse—has always been on a collision course with pop culture。 There’s the time the FBI showed up at her door because of something she tweeted about Game of Thrones。 The pop songs that have been the soundtrack to the worst moments of her life。 And of course， the pivotal day when Orange Is the New Black hit the airwaves and broke down the door to Jill’s own sexuality。 In these honest examinations of identity， desire， and self-worth， Jill explores perhaps the most monumental cultural shift of our lifetimes: the mainstreaming of lesbian culture。 Dusting off her own personal traumas and artifacts of her not-so-distant youth she examines how pop culture acts as a fun house mirror reflecting and refracting our values—always teaching， distracting， disappointing， and revealing us。
Girls Can Kiss Now is a fresh and intoxicating blend of personal stories， sharp observations， and laugh-out-loud humor。 This timely collection of essays helps us make sense of our collective pop-culture past even as it points the way toward a joyous， uproarious， near—and very queer—future。
Reviews
Mariette Dorobis
，
Though I have long resented Jill Gutowitz for having my dream job （providing gay hot takes on the internet）， I have to say I really enjoyed this book and reflecting on our shared experiences growing up closeted in conservative， white， Christian New Jersey suburbs in the 2000s。 It was funny， heart-warming， introspective， and all her essays about her girlfriend were so sweet they brought tears to my eyes and had me reconsidering my previously foregone conclusion that love is dead。
Kayleigh Cowan
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No book has really narrowed down what The Lesbian Experience is like quite like this。 I live for Jill’s writing and quick wit。 No real surprise that I laughed the entire time （and maybe cried a little too）
Jessie Entwistle
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An excellent book of essays on pop culture and being gay。 As I’m almost the same age as the author every point and reference to pop culture felt like something I’d gone through as well。 The book made me laugh so many times and I really need that at the moment。
a
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I’ve seen so many pieces of media that have made me feel like I have never had a single unique experience， but this book takes the cake。 Growing up （and sometimes still）， I was so painfully uncomfortable with certain parts of myself…Jill’s collection of experiences provided a hilarious relatability and a sense of validation。 Live， laugh， loved， and lol’d from start to finish。 Also shoplifting because you’re bored *is* gay。
Laura
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I read this entire book before work in a single sitting。 It is that good。 It is sapphic culture。
Bernie
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The essential education in 2000’s lesbian pop culture that I didn’t know I needed。
allyson link
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Taylor Swift， gay shit， pop culture…what more could you possibly want in a collection of essays？ I truly have nothing bad to say about this one。 I devoured it。 It had me literally laughing out loud。 It’s filled with hard truths about society and homophobia （internalized and externalized） and our obsession with people we want so b badly to be like…even though we don’t ACTUALLY know what they are like。 It didn’t read like an informative essay collection。 Instead， I felt like I was having a convers Taylor Swift， gay shit， pop culture…what more could you possibly want in a collection of essays？ I truly have nothing bad to say about this one。 I devoured it。 It had me literally laughing out loud。 It’s filled with hard truths about society and homophobia （internalized and externalized） and our obsession with people we want so b badly to be like…even though we don’t ACTUALLY know what they are like。 It didn’t read like an informative essay collection。 Instead， I felt like I was having a conversation with one of my closest friends about our trauma and growth and understanding of the world。 And I think that’s why I liked it so much。 Because what I’m taking away from it is a deeper understanding of myself， my sexuality， and the world。 But none of that was shoved down my throat in a “this is what I think and you should think it too” way。 。。。more
Stefanie
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Take yourself on a trip back to the 90s and 2000s。 All the music and all the movies。 The celebrities you couldn’t get enough of。 The ones you were in love with。 All the new fancy gadgets that seemed to be from outer space。 The burned cds with your favorite songs。 The life you planned for yourself as a teenager when you finally stepped into the adult world was going to be the best ever。Girls Can Kiss Now by Jill Gutowitz is a collection of personal essays about 90s and 2000s pop culture and the q Take yourself on a trip back to the 90s and 2000s。 All the music and all the movies。 The celebrities you couldn’t get enough of。 The ones you were in love with。 All the new fancy gadgets that seemed to be from outer space。 The burned cds with your favorite songs。 The life you planned for yourself as a teenager when you finally stepped into the adult world was going to be the best ever。Girls Can Kiss Now by Jill Gutowitz is a collection of personal essays about 90s and 2000s pop culture and the queer community。 Jill explores the nuances of being queer in today’s world vs。 the 90s and 2000s。 She also takes us back in time to the pinnacle of 90s and 2000s pop culture。 If you grew up in those eras you’ll really enjoy getting a look back into those years。I recommend this book to my queer friends who need a book to completely capture their feelings and emotions as Jill does so well。 I also recommend this one to all of my 90s and 2000s kids and all the references to our eras。If you’re not fully into pop culture then you may be a bit lost while reading certain essays， but I still recommend this one… especially to help better yourself as an ally to the LGBTQIA+ community。TW: Bullying， Homophobia， Transphobia， Outing， Rape/Sexual Assault， Drug Use/Abuse， Mental Illness， Religious Bigotry。*I received a gifted copy of this book from the publisher for my honest review。 。。。more
booksandzoe
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4。5
Patricia
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I knew Jill’s debut book of essays would be as good as it was， because Jill’s voice has been part of my screen time in the form of her tweets and articles for the last couple of years， to the point of becoming familiar and comforting。 I feel very proud of her for materializing this book， as if she was a distant friend。It was hilarious， heartbreaking， relatable， inspiring。
Michelle
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Girls Can Kiss now gave me all the early 00s nostalgia and reminded me of how terribly toxic pop culture was then as a teen/early twenties female。 We all now realize how terribly Brittany Spears was treated and of course the casual （and overt） racism， but the exploration of the mainstreaming of lesbian culture in this book of personal essays was particularly fascinating。 There were moments I remember， but as a young self-centered cis-white female I didn't realize how terribly queer women were po Girls Can Kiss now gave me all the early 00s nostalgia and reminded me of how terribly toxic pop culture was then as a teen/early twenties female。 We all now realize how terribly Brittany Spears was treated and of course the casual （and overt） racism， but the exploration of the mainstreaming of lesbian culture in this book of personal essays was particularly fascinating。 There were moments I remember， but as a young self-centered cis-white female I didn't realize how terribly queer women were portrayed。 Jill notes how far we've come even if our world is far from perfect for women， particularly queer women。 The book is funny， senious， honest and I think has a great "voice" for all readers。Thank you Atria Books and Netgalley for the electronic advanced copy。 。。。more
Jenny Armstrong
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4。5 stars！ I've enjoyed following Jill's Twitter for a few years as a fellow pop culture-obsessed gay Swiftie/Gaylor from New Jersey so this book really spoke to me。 4。5 stars！ I've enjoyed following Jill's Twitter for a few years as a fellow pop culture-obsessed gay Swiftie/Gaylor from New Jersey so this book really spoke to me。 。。。more
Scarlett Harris
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Snarkily hilarious
Sophie - biblisophagist
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I picked up this book after absolutely loving Greedy: Notes from a Bisexual Who Wants Too Much and expecting a similar vibe。 Both are essays/memoirs written by sapphic women about being sapphic， growing up， finding yourself， and with this one， a heavy tie-in to pop culture。 Girls Can Kiss Now is FUNNY。 It's unbearably relatable in many ways。 Growing up before being gay was "cool，" being Severely Online， etc。 The content is very often hilarious。 Unfortunately， I think the essays themselves felt u I picked up this book after absolutely loving Greedy: Notes from a Bisexual Who Wants Too Much and expecting a similar vibe。 Both are essays/memoirs written by sapphic women about being sapphic， growing up， finding yourself， and with this one， a heavy tie-in to pop culture。 Girls Can Kiss Now is FUNNY。 It's unbearably relatable in many ways。 Growing up before being gay was "cool，" being Severely Online， etc。 The content is very often hilarious。 Unfortunately， I think the essays themselves felt unfinished。 They didn't all lead me somewhere that felt like an end。 Some of them were also more than they needed to be in ways， too overdone when the entire tone of the book is overdone。 I think some of the essays needed curbing， editing， or even adding to。 Something to bring them back to the point at hand。 A point at all。 Even so， I love reading about the experiences of queer women， of seeing them make space for themselves in their own lives and in media。 I love that I can compare two recent works by sapphic authors that feel so much like they could be people I know。 I would definitely recommend to anyone looking for non-fiction by queer authors or those that loved Greedy like I did！Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for my ARC！ 。。。more
Emma-Cate Rapose
，
I have never felt more seen by a book in my entire life
khi
，
Been following Jill for some time， good entertaining read！
Manda Nicole
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If you are a millennial pop culture fanatic you NEED to mark Jill Gutowitz's amazing essay collection GIRLS CAN KISS NOW as a TBR for it's release date in March。。 Written through the lens of a coming of age memoir， Jill explores how her queerness and her love of pop culture has collided through her journey of self discovery。 This collection is hilarious， thoughtful， insightful and a joy to read。 I wish I could gift copies to every lesbian I know！ Thank you so much to netgalley and publishers for If you are a millennial pop culture fanatic you NEED to mark Jill Gutowitz's amazing essay collection GIRLS CAN KISS NOW as a TBR for it's release date in March。。 Written through the lens of a coming of age memoir， Jill explores how her queerness and her love of pop culture has collided through her journey of self discovery。 This collection is hilarious， thoughtful， insightful and a joy to read。 I wish I could gift copies to every lesbian I know！ Thank you so much to netgalley and publishers for providing an advanced e-copy for me to read and rate honestly。 I couldn't be happier to announce just how perfect I found this collection， nor can I stress the fact that I highly recommend this book to everyone enough。 。。。more
Rebecca
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I'm going to recommend this book to many people。 I've already told three people that they should read it， and honestly， you should read it too， if you see this。 Jill's writing is funny and irreverent and smart and laced with moments of heartfelt emotional impact。 The back-to-back essays of "I Know This Now" and "Kiss Me， Murder Me In the Woods" completely wrecked me。 I felt like Jill had given me the words I needed to understand myself。 I was so sappy。 I tweeted at her with a really sappy messag I'm going to recommend this book to many people。 I've already told three people that they should read it， and honestly， you should read it too， if you see this。 Jill's writing is funny and irreverent and smart and laced with moments of heartfelt emotional impact。 The back-to-back essays of "I Know This Now" and "Kiss Me， Murder Me In the Woods" completely wrecked me。 I felt like Jill had given me the words I needed to understand myself。 I was so sappy。 I tweeted at her with a really sappy message。 。。。more
Dannie Lynn Fountain
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Truly honest and nostalgic， this collection of essays made my heart sing and my memories dance as I remembered my own journey to understanding my identity。 Well written， funny， and engaging！
Tiffanny
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This book is an extremely personal account of the author's relationship with pop culture and how it has affected the way she views herself and her sexuality。 The writing stood out to me because it felt intimate， as if we we're on facetime and Gutowitz was taking me down memory lane。 It is possible with the way the essays are written （to me， very twitter-esque）， the pop-culture references and terminology you probably see online more than hear in person。 not everyone is going to get on board and f This book is an extremely personal account of the author's relationship with pop culture and how it has affected the way she views herself and her sexuality。 The writing stood out to me because it felt intimate， as if we we're on facetime and Gutowitz was taking me down memory lane。 It is possible with the way the essays are written （to me， very twitter-esque）， the pop-culture references and terminology you probably see online more than hear in person。 not everyone is going to get on board and favor these essays。 But， that doesn't mean you shouldn't read it。 Gutowitz did a good job at digging deeper into how pop-culture can affect us， especially in the negative heteropatriarchal ways that affect queer youth in ways they won't realize until they get older。This ARC was provided by Atria Books via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more
Emma C
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I'm really loving this so far， for the record as I'm sending in this review I've read about 50% of the book。 I wanted to add to the buzz because I really love this book。 As a late 90's baby who grew up in a highly conservative， christian and white place there was so much pop culture and living history that I missed out on。 I was right at the very end of the millennial age group， and walking in on the beginning of the Gen Z's。 And the things I remember most about adolescence was the infatuation w I'm really loving this so far， for the record as I'm sending in this review I've read about 50% of the book。 I wanted to add to the buzz because I really love this book。 As a late 90's baby who grew up in a highly conservative， christian and white place there was so much pop culture and living history that I missed out on。 I was right at the very end of the millennial age group， and walking in on the beginning of the Gen Z's。 And the things I remember most about adolescence was the infatuation with pop culture and the people at the forefront of it。 （Did anyone else has a room full of those tween pop posters？） Anyway， my point here is using pop culture as a means of exploring & creating open commentary and dialogue about lesbianism is perfect。 I was a denier of my queerness myself and honestly held the weirdest views。 Because I've always been an ally， or at the least been very focused on bettering my allied ways - but I've never been a great ally for myself。 It was okay for anyone， except for myself， to be gay。 So， I am really truly connecting to Jill's collection and I can't wait to continue。 Unfortunately I read non-fiction really slowly。 But for anyone wondering this is a friendly read。 The language used doesn't require an above reading level， nor does it alienate or come across as patronizing。 I'd say this book is for everyone， but honestly it's definitely written more for people who identify as women。 I think there is definitely a lot to gain reading this as an ally as well but just know you might not get those "wow I see myself in this book vibe" （although arguably that is obvious）。 Thank you Netgalley & publishers for the opportunity to read - fantastic book！！ 。。。more
ruruisme
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Exceptionally funny。 The Jill Gutowitz’s description of her real life experiences will have you crying with laughter。 She’s engaging in her prose while you glimpse into how society changing mindset has freed her and those who hid from public scrutiny I recommend and encourage this book wholeheartedly I received an advanced copy for my honest review
Vi
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i was provided an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review。this book is the most moving and simultaneously hilarious book i’ve ever read。 the core of the story is love。 that’s what everything is about， and it’s so beautiful。 the bad moments are haunting， and the happy ones induce butterflies in the stomach。 from the very beginning， gutowitz pulls you in with her wit and goofy charm， and when you start wonder “where is this going”， she gets to the insightful moral of the story。 when she i was provided an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review。this book is the most moving and simultaneously hilarious book i’ve ever read。 the core of the story is love。 that’s what everything is about， and it’s so beautiful。 the bad moments are haunting， and the happy ones induce butterflies in the stomach。 from the very beginning， gutowitz pulls you in with her wit and goofy charm， and when you start wonder “where is this going”， she gets to the insightful moral of the story。 when she aches， you do too。 when she celebrates， so do you。 and when she chuckles， you’ll full-on belly laugh。 this book is truly a masterpiece in describing the human condition。 。。。more
Julie
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Jill Gutowitz’s essay collection， Girls Can Kiss Now， is part memoir， part social commentary， and partly a lens into pop culture。 As a heterosexual Gen Xer， I was not the intended audience for this book。 So many of the references to Millennial pop culture （I have never seen the movie Bring it On！） were foreign to me and found myself skimming those sections。However， as a memoir-writing wannabe， I thoroughly enjoyed the passages that were about Gutowitz’s life。 The stories were interesting and enl Jill Gutowitz’s essay collection， Girls Can Kiss Now， is part memoir， part social commentary， and partly a lens into pop culture。 As a heterosexual Gen Xer， I was not the intended audience for this book。 So many of the references to Millennial pop culture （I have never seen the movie Bring it On！） were foreign to me and found myself skimming those sections。However， as a memoir-writing wannabe， I thoroughly enjoyed the passages that were about Gutowitz’s life。 The stories were interesting and enlightening。 She opened my eyes to a new way of seeing， illuminating the challenges of growing up in the shadow of a pop culture that either ignored homosexuality or portrayed it as something to avoid， like an illness。 Gutowitz writes with humor and candor， revealing her trauma and subsequent growth。 I love her writing style， and I often felt as though we were two friends chatting in a coffee shop。 After reading her book， I would definitely follow Gutowitz on Twitter – if I used Twitter！ My thanks to NetGalley for an Advanced Readers Copy of this book。 All opinions are my own and not biased in any way。 。。。more
Morgan
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I am definitely the wrong demographic for this book， despite there being plenty of surface overlap on the topics covered。 However， the execution of these essays I can only describe as manic puppy who just learned--and now loves--the word "fuck"。 It took a very long time for me to figure what this book was even about， as the first half-plus chapters is a flittering of one topic to the next with a quasi-history of lesbian representation in the media to the author's childhood lesbian repression。 By I am definitely the wrong demographic for this book， despite there being plenty of surface overlap on the topics covered。 However， the execution of these essays I can only describe as manic puppy who just learned--and now loves--the word "fuck"。 It took a very long time for me to figure what this book was even about， as the first half-plus chapters is a flittering of one topic to the next with a quasi-history of lesbian representation in the media to the author's childhood lesbian repression。 By maybe the last third， more of a trajectory of a story came out， something that held together the "essays" in a theme， but by this point I had lost all interest。 These aren't observational humor essays， they feel more like someone's personal blog ramblings。 Honestly， this just reads to me as someone's Covid project more than anything。ARC provided by NetGalley 。。。more
KariCutie
，
5/5 Stars - Memoir about how pop culture has influenced the coming out， the staying out， and the epic romances of Lesbianism and women in the LGBTQ+ community。 This was phenomenal！ As a pop culture junkie and a bisexual woman， I truly appreciated how Jill Gutowitz laid out the timeline of the best female-female celebrity romances and showed how demonized， sexualized， and monetized these relationships were。 Gutowitz was also incredibly open about these relationships impacted her as an in the clos 5/5 Stars - Memoir about how pop culture has influenced the coming out， the staying out， and the epic romances of Lesbianism and women in the LGBTQ+ community。 This was phenomenal！ As a pop culture junkie and a bisexual woman， I truly appreciated how Jill Gutowitz laid out the timeline of the best female-female celebrity romances and showed how demonized， sexualized， and monetized these relationships were。 Gutowitz was also incredibly open about these relationships impacted her as an in the closet， teenager， and how they helped her understand her sexuality in order to come out when she was in her mid-20s。 This book is extremely funny， honest， and painful at times （TW: Sexual Assault）。 It was very hard to read at times but is integral to the novel to know how much the author went through to step over the edge and come out。 This novel openly explores the shiny parts and dirty bruises of Hollywood relationships， how they created a pop culture awakening， and how they were scrutinized not just by the public eye， but also by other celebrities。 This book was eye opening in how much bullying went on in a lot of female-female relationships， and the careful line a lot of women had to toe in order to feel accepted and uncriticized （ultimately， was a pipe dream， but it is getting better）。 I am so happy I read this memoir， it really helped me be even more honest about my sexuality， reflect on if and how celebrity romances influenced me when I was younger， and allowed me to see a new perspective to the male sexualization of female-female relationships， and how truly DISGUSTING this is （like I didn't even know how this kind of stuff impacted me when I was younger and I only just now realized it）。 Jill Gutowitz rocked my world with this book， and I can see the passion and courage she put into writing it。 I highly recommend this to EVERYONE！！ 5 stars indeed！Thank you to Atria Books for sending this ARC to me。 。。。more
Christine
，
3 starsBeing gay， this one reached out to me， and I was lucky enough to receive an advanced review copy from Net Galley。 I would like to thank Net Galley， Atria Books， and Jill Gutowitz for granting me my copy。This series of essays by Ms。 Gutowitz reflects the crossroads between millennialism， lesbianism， pop culture， and the search for identity as Ms。 Gutowitz attempts to define herself in this crazy world。 The narrative extends from the time Ms。 Gutowitz was a young girl to the end of 2020 wit 3 starsBeing gay， this one reached out to me， and I was lucky enough to receive an advanced review copy from Net Galley。 I would like to thank Net Galley， Atria Books， and Jill Gutowitz for granting me my copy。This series of essays by Ms。 Gutowitz reflects the crossroads between millennialism， lesbianism， pop culture， and the search for identity as Ms。 Gutowitz attempts to define herself in this crazy world。 The narrative extends from the time Ms。 Gutowitz was a young girl to the end of 2020 with most of the time probably spent in the 1990s and the aughts。 The writing is very good and overall quite humorous。 The tone of the book varies from fear， confusion， frustration， and hopelessness， to heartfelt， to joyfulness， not necessarily in that order。 Though I found the essays to be enlightening， entertaining， and informative， I would have appreciated them even more if I were a millennial rather than a boomer and had had a better sense of pop culture and its icons during the time frame referenced by the writings。 I did however enjoy Ms。 Gutowitz’s journey to finding herself and wanted to both hug her and high-five her at the end。I believe Ms。 Gutowitz deserves congratulations for putting her story out there for all of us to learn from。 I wish her the very best and all the happiness in the world。 。。。more
K M
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I wish I was better with words so I could accurately describe how good and funny this book was。 About 2 essays/chapters in， I felt like Jill was a good friend of mine just recounting stuff about life。 I actually laughed out loud sometimes while reading。 As a 20 something queer， this book was relatable and such an enjoyment to read！
Lisa
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I started following Jill on twitter after a couple of RT's I saw my best friend make。 She cracked me up and I found her to always be very endearing。 This collection of Essays made me love her even more。 I did struggle at the start （Maybe the age difference between us？） but once I got into it more I was very honored to be the eyes to read what she had to share。 It's vulnerable and funny。 We stan a queer twitter icon。 I started following Jill on twitter after a couple of RT's I saw my best friend make。 She cracked me up and I found her to always be very endearing。 This collection of Essays made me love her even more。 I did struggle at the start （Maybe the age difference between us？） but once I got into it more I was very honored to be the eyes to read what she had to share。 It's vulnerable and funny。 We stan a queer twitter icon。 。。。more
C。M。B。
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