How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love
- Downloads：2308
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2022-01-09 03:19:17
- Update Date：2025-09-07
- Status：finish
- Author：Logan Ury
- ISBN：1982120630
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
A “must-read” （The Washington Post） funny and practical guide to help you find， build， and keep the relationship of your dreams。
Have you ever looked around and wondered， “Why has everyone found love except me？” You’re not the only one。 Great relationships don’t just appear in our lives—they’re the culmination of a series of decisions， including whom to date， how to end it with the wrong person， and when to commit to the right one。 But our brains often get in the way。 We make poor decisions， which thwart us on our quest to find lasting love。
Drawing from years of research， behavioral scientist turned dating coach Logan Ury reveals the hidden forces that cause those mistakes。 But awareness on its own doesn’t lead to results。 You have to actually change your behavior。 Ury shows you how。
This “simple-to-use guide” （Lori Gottlieb， New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone） focuses on a different decision in each chapter， incorporating insights from behavioral science， original research， and real-life stories。 You’ll learn:
-What’s holding you back in dating （and how to break the pattern）
-What really matters in a long-term partner （and what really doesn’t）
-How to overcome the perils of online dating （and make the apps work for you）
-How to meet more people in real life （while doing activities you love）
-How to make dates fun again （so they stop feeling like job interviews）
-Why “the spark” is a myth （but you’ll find love anyway）
This “data-driven” （Time）， step-by-step guide to relationships， complete with hands-on exercises， is designed to transform your life。 How to Not Die Alone will help you find， build， and keep the relationship of your dreams。
Have you ever looked around and wondered， “Why has everyone found love except me？” You’re not the only one。 Great relationships don’t just appear in our lives—they’re the culmination of a series of decisions， including whom to date， how to end it with the wrong person， and when to commit to the right one。 But our brains often get in the way。 We make poor decisions， which thwart us on our quest to find lasting love。
Drawing from years of research， behavioral scientist turned dating coach Logan Ury reveals the hidden forces that cause those mistakes。 But awareness on its own doesn’t lead to results。 You have to actually change your behavior。 Ury shows you how。
This “simple-to-use guide” （Lori Gottlieb， New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone） focuses on a different decision in each chapter， incorporating insights from behavioral science， original research， and real-life stories。 You’ll learn:
-What’s holding you back in dating （and how to break the pattern）
-What really matters in a long-term partner （and what really doesn’t）
-How to overcome the perils of online dating （and make the apps work for you）
-How to meet more people in real life （while doing activities you love）
-How to make dates fun again （so they stop feeling like job interviews）
-Why “the spark” is a myth （but you’ll find love anyway）
This “data-driven” （Time）， step-by-step guide to relationships， complete with hands-on exercises， is designed to transform your life。 How to Not Die Alone will help you find， build， and keep the relationship of your dreams。
Reviews
Anderson Cubillos
，
Con todos los prejuicios hacia un libro de autoayuda con un título tan vendedor， éste en especial me llamo la atención por la autora， Logan Ury。 Pues ella es colega de Dan Ariely （un investigador y experto en comportamiento humano en el campo de la economía）。Hace varios años leí un libro de él llamado "Predictably Irrational" donde estudiaba lo irracional de las decisiones humanas en la vida diaria y los sesgos cognitivos que todas las personas tenemos。 En sus investigaciones evidenciaba como ga Con todos los prejuicios hacia un libro de autoayuda con un título tan vendedor， éste en especial me llamo la atención por la autora， Logan Ury。 Pues ella es colega de Dan Ariely （un investigador y experto en comportamiento humano en el campo de la economía）。Hace varios años leí un libro de él llamado "Predictably Irrational" donde estudiaba lo irracional de las decisiones humanas en la vida diaria y los sesgos cognitivos que todas las personas tenemos。 En sus investigaciones evidenciaba como gastamos tiempo y dinero de manera tonta e inconsciente。Bueno en este libro， Logan Ury deja ver esas mismas irracionalidades y sesgos， pero en las relaciones de pareja。 Y desde una base científica explica como lidiar con eso。 。。。more
Anika Lai
，
- prioritise intentional decision-making， routine reflections and recognise dating behaviours to result in successful LT r/s
Jerrome
，
actually really good
Yin Sinn
，
Simple & easy to follow with simple actionable templates to help readers。 I like the sense of humour that the author tries to bring into the book as well as facts supported by behavioural science。 Overall I enjoyed this read and has helped me realized my attachment style and to make efforts to improve it。
Yzo
，
A book that puts relationships into perspective。 Whether or not you’re single， in a relationship or married， I think this is a relevant read which can be applied to ANY relationship， romantic and otherwise。 The writer effectively helps you think about your needs， wants and your perspective， and how that may be affecting your love life。 The whole book was beautifully delivered with accompanying research evidence， anecdotes and worksheets to really coach you into better relationships。 Relationship A book that puts relationships into perspective。 Whether or not you’re single， in a relationship or married， I think this is a relevant read which can be applied to ANY relationship， romantic and otherwise。 The writer effectively helps you think about your needs， wants and your perspective， and how that may be affecting your love life。 The whole book was beautifully delivered with accompanying research evidence， anecdotes and worksheets to really coach you into better relationships。 Relationships are complicated。 People are complicated。 And this book just makes understanding yourself and others a lil bit easier。 HOWEVER， it’s a little toooooo use your head not your heart at some points and lacks diverse cultural dating insights。 Nevertheless， will be applying this to my own life as well as with family and friends。 😇 。。。more
Computer Sushi
，
It was a nice read and it really opened my eyes to the dating world。 It made me realize how some of my dating habits are unhelpful now and how to improve on myself。 To not think about the little details of a person but to see the person as a whole off of the pedestal。
Hugo
，
A page turner。 Good and clear explanations concerning the tricks our brains tend to play on us when dating。 Totally recommended for anyone who wants to learn more about romantic relationships。
powreads
，
This was an interesting book！ Its the first book I picked up which focused on relationships and how to improve them。 I approached it with a slightly different perspective as I’m in a relationship myself as opposed to looking for one。 It helped it providing some insights on understanding myself and how I behave in the relationship， as well as providing some reminders of what was going through my head when I settled with my partner。 As with all self help books， I like to take it with a pinch of sa This was an interesting book！ Its the first book I picked up which focused on relationships and how to improve them。 I approached it with a slightly different perspective as I’m in a relationship myself as opposed to looking for one。 It helped it providing some insights on understanding myself and how I behave in the relationship， as well as providing some reminders of what was going through my head when I settled with my partner。 As with all self help books， I like to take it with a pinch of salt but I think she does give some rly good practical advice and “action plans” for those looking to improve their search for love， or looking to understand and improve their own relationship， how they behave in it and how they see their partner。 。。。more
Nonnie
，
Enormously useful book for getting real about the ways you're standing in your own way of finding a long-term partner。 If you want something *other* than a long term monogamous relationship， look elsewhere for advice。 The 'girl-boss' tone is annoying， but the book is so otherwise important， that I let it slide。 Enormously useful book for getting real about the ways you're standing in your own way of finding a long-term partner。 If you want something *other* than a long term monogamous relationship， look elsewhere for advice。 The 'girl-boss' tone is annoying， but the book is so otherwise important， that I let it slide。 。。。more
Devon McAllister
，
I recommend to anyone looking to focus on love in 2022！
Min
，
This is one of those books that everyone should read at some point on their life。 You don't magically get imbued with with the knowledge of how to act and navigate a romantic relationship。 But somehow Logan Ury manages to plot out a battle plan for almost every major decision point in a romantic relationship。 This is one of those books that everyone should read at some point on their life。 You don't magically get imbued with with the knowledge of how to act and navigate a romantic relationship。 But somehow Logan Ury manages to plot out a battle plan for almost every major decision point in a romantic relationship。 。。。more
Jiana
，
The ultimate self help book。 Not the worst but def not the best， lowkey embarrassed I read it but 🤷♀️
Nick
，
I like this book because it doesn't hide the fact that successful relationships take effort。 Continuously。 The book also combines science with practical exercises。 As for me， I'm single at the momentso I can't really use the tips and exercises in some chapters of the book。 However， what I really liked about this book is that it really takes you through the entire life cycle of a relationship。 Meeting someone， dating someone breaking up and making it work goes a long way。 I like this book because it doesn't hide the fact that successful relationships take effort。 Continuously。 The book also combines science with practical exercises。 As for me， I'm single at the momentso I can't really use the tips and exercises in some chapters of the book。 However， what I really liked about this book is that it really takes you through the entire life cycle of a relationship。 Meeting someone， dating someone breaking up and making it work goes a long way。 。。。more
Selene
，
Overall， this was a fun look at some of the social science （particularly through a behavioral economist’s lens） on contemporary dating。 I think it has solid， research-based advice。 Although， it ultimately doesn’t really take love and emotions into account enough。 That seems intentional， to provide advice to look at dating with in a more measured and rational way， when it is easy to let emotions and the bad pervasive advice in our culture get in the way。 One example of this is Logan Ury’s polemic Overall， this was a fun look at some of the social science （particularly through a behavioral economist’s lens） on contemporary dating。 I think it has solid， research-based advice。 Although， it ultimately doesn’t really take love and emotions into account enough。 That seems intentional， to provide advice to look at dating with in a more measured and rational way， when it is easy to let emotions and the bad pervasive advice in our culture get in the way。 One example of this is Logan Ury’s polemic chapter against the concept of “the spark”。 Being single or “dying alone” is not the worst thing in the world but I don’t find this book insulting to single people。 It is simply giving advice and helping to target some misconceptions and cognitive distortions for single people who wish to not be， and for people who need some help navigating the overly complicated contemporary online dating landscape。 If you are on dating apps， it is important to understand some of the research that fuels the algorithms of the better apps （Ury works for Hinge） or to be able to not let the worse apps （like Tinder’s） ruin your dating experience with their poor model。 。。。more
Leila Cohan
，
God I love a behavioral science book。 And this was useful！
Nicole
，
Good advice， good reference book for the future。
Katie
，
Really interesting look at the science behind love and dating。 I am grateful for the insight and hope to be able to use it myself， but as a curious reader， it was just a lot of fun to delve into psychology and all the cognitive biases we have and why。 On the practical side， Ury does a wonderful job giving concrete， action-oriented exercises to help move you towards your goals and apply the concepts she's talking about。 Really interesting look at the science behind love and dating。 I am grateful for the insight and hope to be able to use it myself， but as a curious reader， it was just a lot of fun to delve into psychology and all the cognitive biases we have and why。 On the practical side， Ury does a wonderful job giving concrete， action-oriented exercises to help move you towards your goals and apply the concepts she's talking about。 。。。more
Niharika S
，
Learnt a lot of new things about dating， breakups and long term relationships。 The author also shared insights on how dating apps don’t really help people focus on what matters to them in relationships。
Natasha
，
As 1） a 23 year old bi woman who has been in 3 serious relationships 2） an earth sun sign with lots of water and fire in her chart and 3） a social science nerd， I really appreciated this book。 It is far from perfect and leaves out a lot of nuance。 I feel it is too black and white in a lot of areas。 It does acknowledge some of these shortcomings。 Overall I felt that this book is helpful for someone who is actively dating or looking to start dating。 It has sections relevant for all stages of life As 1） a 23 year old bi woman who has been in 3 serious relationships 2） an earth sun sign with lots of water and fire in her chart and 3） a social science nerd， I really appreciated this book。 It is far from perfect and leaves out a lot of nuance。 I feel it is too black and white in a lot of areas。 It does acknowledge some of these shortcomings。 Overall I felt that this book is helpful for someone who is actively dating or looking to start dating。 It has sections relevant for all stages of life though。 I definitely will be quoting these stats at my friends for the next few months and also probably annoyingly implementing these skills in future relationships。 Overall I really do recommend！ 。。。more
SkullKnight
，
Prolly my last yet the most interesting and fun reading book in 2021。I've discovered this book in one of the posts of FB Page。 Yes， I've picked it up because of its title but while checking it out on Goodreads， it gave me the notion that this book is established on data-driven-decision-making。Turned out it is what I've estimated！Providing context from behavioral science， thus defining the problem， again putting the data insights to support the author's unbiased （to me！） reasoning， offering clues Prolly my last yet the most interesting and fun reading book in 2021。I've discovered this book in one of the posts of FB Page。 Yes， I've picked it up because of its title but while checking it out on Goodreads， it gave me the notion that this book is established on data-driven-decision-making。Turned out it is what I've estimated！Providing context from behavioral science， thus defining the problem， again putting the data insights to support the author's unbiased （to me！） reasoning， offering clues to act on it。 Everything seemed analytically delightful。 As there exist a vast proportion of subjective viewpoints of the author on the acting part， some may find that distorted but as there's a saying， data might be misinterpreted but it never lies。 So， it's the reader's choice whether to ratify or defy the author on the outcome areas。Even tho' from the title， one might imply that it's for a lonesome-XX-XY I believe this book is a must-have for the people who are in a devoted alliance to bring the best out of it。 。。。more
Olivia
，
Some useful tips about how to handle difficult conversations in relationships， but overall not very enlightening。。
Samantha Ruth Lai
，
INTERESTING READ i think one thing that was rly good about this book was how focused it always was and it rly was super targetted and digestible ！！ picked up some interesting points that I think I will continue to carry with me in my pursuit of relationships in the future SO YEA yay hehe
Danielle
，
I really liked this book。 The information was easy to digest and very easy to apply this to ones dating life。 I'll have to check back to see if i actually apply these changes！ I really liked this book。 The information was easy to digest and very easy to apply this to ones dating life。 I'll have to check back to see if i actually apply these changes！ 。。。more
Blair
，
I found this book by chance， and it was just what I needed， especially during the holidays-new years time when I usually feel the most upset。 I want to believe that this book gave me an opportunity to make the new year better， with a better plan。
Stephen
，
Discovered that I am a hesitater。 An easy to read book with practical advice on being intentional and finding someone to live the rest of your life with。 The book also provides tips on preparing for a date， breaking up， committing to a relationship and getting married。A much needed advice for me， "Decide， don't slide。"Worth rereading。 Discovered that I am a hesitater。 An easy to read book with practical advice on being intentional and finding someone to live the rest of your life with。 The book also provides tips on preparing for a date， breaking up， committing to a relationship and getting married。A much needed advice for me， "Decide， don't slide。"Worth rereading。 。。。more
Katie
，
I don't know if I would call the information in this book "surprising，" but I found a lot of it very validating and up lifting。 I don't know if I would call the information in this book "surprising，" but I found a lot of it very validating and up lifting。 。。。more
Nicomakian
，
Coming from someone in the field of psychology， the studies Ury cites were not new to me， nor were they presented in any novel way。 Her client examples also seemed a bit 2-d and heteronormative， but I enjoyed the key takeaways and exploratory questions at the end of each chapter。 Several years ago I started a contract with a partner and I thought I was the only person psychotic enough to implement something so bizarre。 I'm glad to see I'm not the only one。 Though her template isn't perfectly app Coming from someone in the field of psychology， the studies Ury cites were not new to me， nor were they presented in any novel way。 Her client examples also seemed a bit 2-d and heteronormative， but I enjoyed the key takeaways and exploratory questions at the end of each chapter。 Several years ago I started a contract with a partner and I thought I was the only person psychotic enough to implement something so bizarre。 I'm glad to see I'm not the only one。 Though her template isn't perfectly applicable to my current relationship situation， I'd like to bring some of her ideas to life in my future relationships。 。。。more
Jon Thompson
，
Don’t worry。 I’m not going to die alone。
Oscar
，
Some very healthy ways to handle relationships。 Learning to understand yourself in a relationship， how to find a good relationship， when or if to end it and how to make it last。 I wish I had read this book sooner。No matter which stage， if any， you are in a relationship I think this book can be helpful。 I'll be revisiting some chapters of this book in the future as life goes on。 Some very healthy ways to handle relationships。 Learning to understand yourself in a relationship， how to find a good relationship， when or if to end it and how to make it last。 I wish I had read this book sooner。No matter which stage， if any， you are in a relationship I think this book can be helpful。 I'll be revisiting some chapters of this book in the future as life goes on。 。。。more
Amy
，