Unfollow Your Passion: How to Create a Life that Matters to You
- Downloads：4840
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2022-01-05 02:21:16
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Terri Trespicio
- ISBN：1982169249
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
- Download
Summary
Named a Best Feel-Good Book of 2021 by The Washington Post
A hilarious and honest not-quite-self-help book in the vein of Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies and I Used to Have a Plan 。
Every person on the planet wants their life to mean something。 The problem is that you’ve been told there’s only one way to find that meaning。
In Unfollow Your Passion， Terri Trespicio—whose TEDx talk has more than six million views—questions everything you think you need: passion （fun， but fleeting）， plans （flimsy at best）， and a bucket list （eye roll）， to name a few。
Instead， she shows you how （and why） to flip society， culture， and the #patriarchy the bird so you can live life on your terms。 Trespicio effortlessly guides you through her method of unhooking yourself from other people’s agendas， boning up on the skills to move you forward， and exploring your own creativity， memory， and intuition to unlock your unique path to meaning—while also confronting the challenges that stop you in your tracks， like boredom， loss， and fear。
Trespicio delivers a personal growth book unlike any other with insights that are “wildly funny and infinitely compelling，” （Farnoosh Torabi， host of the So Money podcast）。 Fans of Glennon Doyle’s Untamed and Luvvie Ajayi Jones’s Professional Troublemaker will love this fresh and fearless take on what it means to unfollow the rules you were given。
A hilarious and honest not-quite-self-help book in the vein of Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies and I Used to Have a Plan 。
Every person on the planet wants their life to mean something。 The problem is that you’ve been told there’s only one way to find that meaning。
In Unfollow Your Passion， Terri Trespicio—whose TEDx talk has more than six million views—questions everything you think you need: passion （fun， but fleeting）， plans （flimsy at best）， and a bucket list （eye roll）， to name a few。
Instead， she shows you how （and why） to flip society， culture， and the #patriarchy the bird so you can live life on your terms。 Trespicio effortlessly guides you through her method of unhooking yourself from other people’s agendas， boning up on the skills to move you forward， and exploring your own creativity， memory， and intuition to unlock your unique path to meaning—while also confronting the challenges that stop you in your tracks， like boredom， loss， and fear。
Trespicio delivers a personal growth book unlike any other with insights that are “wildly funny and infinitely compelling，” （Farnoosh Torabi， host of the So Money podcast）。 Fans of Glennon Doyle’s Untamed and Luvvie Ajayi Jones’s Professional Troublemaker will love this fresh and fearless take on what it means to unfollow the rules you were given。
Reviews
Kamila
，
I bought this after connecting emotionally with the first couple of pages of the introduction， which spoke to my lost， fresh-out-of-college self。 If only I'd had this book when I was 22， how much heartache I might have been spared！ But I'm 39， and much of what she writes about I'd come to realize， too， after much trial and error over almost 20 years， so I skimmed through some parts that already felt familiar。 But overall I believe very strongly in her message—the whole "find your passion and nev I bought this after connecting emotionally with the first couple of pages of the introduction， which spoke to my lost， fresh-out-of-college self。 If only I'd had this book when I was 22， how much heartache I might have been spared！ But I'm 39， and much of what she writes about I'd come to realize， too， after much trial and error over almost 20 years， so I skimmed through some parts that already felt familiar。 But overall I believe very strongly in her message—the whole "find your passion and never work a day in your life" b。s。 is dangerous and sets many of us up with unrealistic expectations。 She does a good job bringing things back down to earth （in a somewhat wordy 260 pages; she shares a lot of her own personal narrative）。 I've jotted down the parts that stood out the most to me: - "There's a critical difference between 'planning' and 'plans。' Planning is something we must do here in the matrix to avoid a nonstop logistical nightmare。 But plans？ Plans are different。 Plans are flimsy。 They change。 They collapse under the weight of nearly anything， from a twisted ankle to a global pandemic。 Think you're meeting Savannah for brunch on Sunday？ You are， in theory。 Until Savannah wakes up with hangover that scores a seven on the Richter scale and brunch is not happening。 The problem isn't planning per se—it's an attachment to the outcome of said plans， to the idea that plans must align precisely with reality in order for you to be happy。 And the more attached you are to your plans， well， the more disappointed you will undoubtedly be。 。。。 I'm sure you have plans。 Plans for next Tuesday， plans for next year。 For your career。 Plans buoy us， give us something to aim for。 The point here is to understand our relationship to plans and allow the functionality and usefulness of plans to keep us moving， but not keep us bound。 。。。 'There's an emotional lie to overplanning。。。 It creates a security blanket that lets you assume you have things under control， that you are further along than you really are， that you're home free when you haven't even walked out the door yet。' 。。。 Show me someone who lives and dies by plans， who clings white-knuckled to How Things Are Supposed to Go， and I'll show you someone who does not trust—situations， or other people， or， more important， themselves。 And if you cannot trust， it's hard to move forward with the confidence and ease we most want to feel and broadcast to the world。" （p。 184-185） - "Plan your actions， not your outcomes。 Because you can't plan an outcome anyways， you can only hope for one。" （p。 186） - "Plans don't give our life meaning; they give it structure。" （p。 189） Planning helps with preparation， so if you're not too attached to your plans， you can be prepared and respond to something fully in the moment。 "Hold your plans like a butterfly。" （p。 191） - Commitment is an act， not an inherent trait about you。 "I believe in worthy effort， I do not believe in going down with the ship。" （p。 209） "Commitment isn't the same as compliance， or dependence， or need。 No one else can commit for you or 'make' you do it， especially if you don't want to; if they do， you can call it many things， but you can't call it commitment。 And just as choosing what to commit to is critical， so is choosing when that commitment has run its course。" （p。 210） "If you're not allowed to end a commitment， you're being kept against your own will and someone needs to call the authorities。" （p。 213） "Commitment is the energy and attention you give to one thing at the expense of the others。 And it stops when you stop。 You are not the promise you made two， ten， twenty years ago， whatever that promise was。 。。。 You're capable of commitment and can plug it into whatever you do—but more important， you can change it， because your commitment begins and ends with you。" （p。 214） - "Everything worth doing is hard。 Building a business is hard。 Ending a relationship is hard。 Raising kids is hard。 Getting out of bed is pretty damn hard。 。。。 When you look back over your life， the things that were hard to do were also worth it。 And you did them for a reason。 What we have to be careful of， myself included， is falling into the trap of telling ourselves that things are hard， even too hard， and use that as a reason not to do them。 。。。 What if， instead of talking about how hard things are， we talked about why they're worth it？" （p。 223） - "Not only do we sometimes end up trying to fix the wrong things—the fixes don't even work。 。。。 Whatever pain we feel 。。。 the cause may not be what we think it is。 。。。 If you believe there's a hole in your life because you haven't found X （a man， a woman， your dream job， your ultimate purpose）， how sure are you that that's the answer？ You're not， of course。 I'm not trying to tell you not to want what you want。 But to pin everything onto one goal， to believe that one thing would 'fix' your life？ Do you believe that's true？ What are the odds？ Ten to forty percent， would you say？ 。。。 Believing things are fixed or need to be fixed is the problem。 Everything is in flux and in flow。" （p。 230）- "What if there was nothing was fix？ 。。。 Unfix yourself。 。。。 When you're not fixed， or fixated， on one part of one idea of yourself， you're free to shift and change， and to discover new things about the world and yourself， which is one of the most exciting things about being alive。 Recognize that nothing is a foregone conclusion—not your job， your genetics， not your address， not even whatever it is you're doing right now。" （p。 236-237） - "The future is never what we expect， because we don't have the tools to imagine it with。 。。。 We're not only not supposed to know or plan everything; we also literally can't imagine what's possible。" （p。 237-238） - "Things that don't end are terrifying。 The things that never close—casinos， all-night diners， twenty-four-hour convenience stores， the New York City subway—aren't marked by joy and thriving。 。。。 When and if you find yourself in such a place， get in， get what you need， and get the fuck out。 。。。 If we can't learn to appreciate an ending when it comes， we risk being stuck。。。 While we don't have to obsess over or focus on endings， we can anticipate and expect that they will come。 。。。 The ending isn't the failing of an effort。。。 It is the punctuation on a sentence you care about， and the punctuation matters。 It doesn't just need a place to end; it deserves it。" （p。 243-245） - "The end of a friendship is perhaps even more heartbreaking， because the only reason to really end it is that you simply don't want that person in your life anymore。 We don't have an infinite capacity for friendships， but you have room for more than one。 So when you end it， it's not sexual or circumstantial; it's， No， really， I'm done。 I had a close friend for years; we talked every day。 。。。 I still don't know what happened。 We never even fought。 One by one， my invitations were declined， my texts fell down a well。 。。。 I didn't tell her We Need to Talk。 。。。 You kind of get the hint。 And， given the chill and finality with which she'd so completely departed my life， I didn't think anything I said would matter。 。。。 For reasons I may never know， she decided that a life without me suited her better than one with me。 She doesn't actually need another reason than that。 No one does。" （p。 244-245） - We're not completely free but we do have choices。 （p。 251） - "What else is the point， really—what's the point of anything we might do—if we cannot and will not wring ourselves out for the few things we can do， make， contribute， no matter what they are？ We can control where we put our attention and effort， even if we cannot control where those efforts take us， or how they will succeed。 You live it out， give it what you have， all of what you have， knowing that they're always a chance that one egg [octopus metaphor] could beat the odds， sure， maybe five if you're lucky， but that that was never the point。" （p。 259） 。。。more
Patricia Ann
，
WOW。 In reading a book， I attempt to determine who is the 'audience' for the book 。 OH my: high schoolers， college grads， those returning to school at 40 plus， anybody who feels 'lost' when they followed the cliched paths。 I so wanted to sit and talk with Terri Trespicio。 Her book resonates so much with what I found in being a Psych。 Professor， a Psychotherapist， an auntie， a mom， a friend。 Terri advocates 'sorting' your life ， finding what factors in a job make you feel fulfilled。。。 NOT the cli WOW。 In reading a book， I attempt to determine who is the 'audience' for the book 。 OH my: high schoolers， college grads， those returning to school at 40 plus， anybody who feels 'lost' when they followed the cliched paths。 I so wanted to sit and talk with Terri Trespicio。 Her book resonates so much with what I found in being a Psych。 Professor， a Psychotherapist， an auntie， a mom， a friend。 Terri advocates 'sorting' your life ， finding what factors in a job make you feel fulfilled。。。 NOT the cliche of "when you - get married/have kids/gotocollege/graduate/make $200k a year ， etc， ' you will be happy， content fulfilled。 I absolutely encourage a reader of her book to read it through and THEN re-read， doing the exercises。 It's what I had to do， to get a complete insight into the complex thing of 'sorting' the SELF。 I had a young person in therapy who had been married 3 times。 Under 30！！！ Something I ask people to do is to identify what they want in a spouse。 The list for this person truncated at 'good looking'。 We worked so hard on sorting what they gained from each marriage， what factors they found desirable and which not。 Trespicio has you look at your job， career choices in the same way: As you find successes and disappointments， sort what you liked/valued， what you disliked/hurt/demeaned。 You don't HAVE to have that degree/be a career woman。/follow what your good at 。。Even if it's something you excel at。 The exercises in the book are so important。。perhaps what educators are calling Mindfulness。 Her message of DO something， use it as a life lesson reminds me of The Cheshire Cat in Alice In Wonderland: " If you don't know where You're going， any road will get you there"。 Her message is to start on that road。 I got this book from Goodreads for an honest review。 。。。more
Amy Byers
，
Very good helpful things that I really needed to know。 Also will try in my life。 A very good read！！
Avi-Gil
，
Received an advance copy through Goodreads Giveaways。 The book is clearly aimed at women， though it was mostly relevant to men as well。 The author does a great job talking about what’s wrong with just following the expectations that society has set， and she is very clear that she doesn’t have the answers for each person。 The writing is very conversational and quite witty at times。Definitely gave me some food for thought， though the book could have delivered the message in a shorter format。 There Received an advance copy through Goodreads Giveaways。 The book is clearly aimed at women， though it was mostly relevant to men as well。 The author does a great job talking about what’s wrong with just following the expectations that society has set， and she is very clear that she doesn’t have the answers for each person。 The writing is very conversational and quite witty at times。Definitely gave me some food for thought， though the book could have delivered the message in a shorter format。 There’s also a bit too much jumping around - she refers to various past jobs and experiences as they fit the theme of a chapter， tries somewhat to put them in chronological order but never quite gives the whole timeline。 It’s not a biography， so it may not really matter， but the tidbits are introduced in a way that makes the reader think the author does want you to understand that progression。 。。。more
Tayah Price
，
Overall， I enjoyed this！ I'm not a huge fan of self-help books， but I do appreciate topics/content that focus on asking the reader to take a step back and analyze their lives to see if they're getting the most out of it and/or living it every day to the fullest。 I also thought the exercises included was a nice touch。Thank you， Atria and NetGalley for a copy of this eARC in exchange for my review！ Overall， I enjoyed this！ I'm not a huge fan of self-help books， but I do appreciate topics/content that focus on asking the reader to take a step back and analyze their lives to see if they're getting the most out of it and/or living it every day to the fullest。 I also thought the exercises included was a nice touch。Thank you， Atria and NetGalley for a copy of this eARC in exchange for my review！ 。。。more
Susan
，
Currently reading—will review soon。 📖♠️ Received a copy via the Goodreads Giveaway Program。
MookNana
，