Sea State: A Memoir
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- Create Date：2021-12-21 10:21:17
- Update Date：2025-09-06
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- Author：Tabitha Lasley
- ISBN：0063030837
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Summary
A stunning and brutally honest memoir that shines a light on what happens when female desire conflicts with a culture of masculinity in crisis
In her midthirties and newly free from a terrible relationship， Tabitha Lasley quit her job at a London magazine， packed her bags， and poured her savings into a six-month lease on an apartment in Aberdeen， Scotland。 She decided to make good on a long-deferred idea for a book about oil rigs and the men who work on them。 Why oil rigs？ She wanted to see what men were like with no women around。
In Aberdeen， Tabitha became deeply entrenched in the world of roughnecks， a teeming subculture rich with brawls， hard labor， competition， and the deepest friendships imaginable。 The longer she stayed， the more she found her presence had a destabilizing effect on the men—and her。
Sea State is on the one hand a portrait of an overlooked industry: “offshore” is a way of life for generations of primarily working-class men and also a potent metaphor for those parts of life we keep at bay—class， masculinity， the transactions of desire， and the awful slipperiness of a ladder that could， if we tried hard enough， lead us to security。
Sea State is on the other hand the story of a journalist whose professional distance from her subject becomes perilously thin。 In Aberdeen， Tabitha gets high and dances with abandon， reliving her youth， when the music was good and the boys were bad。 Twenty years on， there is Caden: a married rig worker who spends three weeks on and three weeks off。 Alone and in an increasingly precarious state， Tabitha dives into their growing attraction。 The relationship， reckless and explosive， will lay them both bare。
In her midthirties and newly free from a terrible relationship， Tabitha Lasley quit her job at a London magazine， packed her bags， and poured her savings into a six-month lease on an apartment in Aberdeen， Scotland。 She decided to make good on a long-deferred idea for a book about oil rigs and the men who work on them。 Why oil rigs？ She wanted to see what men were like with no women around。
In Aberdeen， Tabitha became deeply entrenched in the world of roughnecks， a teeming subculture rich with brawls， hard labor， competition， and the deepest friendships imaginable。 The longer she stayed， the more she found her presence had a destabilizing effect on the men—and her。
Sea State is on the one hand a portrait of an overlooked industry: “offshore” is a way of life for generations of primarily working-class men and also a potent metaphor for those parts of life we keep at bay—class， masculinity， the transactions of desire， and the awful slipperiness of a ladder that could， if we tried hard enough， lead us to security。
Sea State is on the other hand the story of a journalist whose professional distance from her subject becomes perilously thin。 In Aberdeen， Tabitha gets high and dances with abandon， reliving her youth， when the music was good and the boys were bad。 Twenty years on， there is Caden: a married rig worker who spends three weeks on and three weeks off。 Alone and in an increasingly precarious state， Tabitha dives into their growing attraction。 The relationship， reckless and explosive， will lay them both bare。
Reviews
Al
，
Very saucy and not really about men and their work。 Delightful！
Cynthia
，
I initially thought this was an account of a woman working on the male dominated offshore oil rigs。。。。。but that isn't it！ This is really mostly an account of a writer going to Scotland to interview offshore oil riggers/workers about their jobs， & their unique lives/lifestyles。。。。for a book she's writing about their particular careers。 She ends up having an affair with one of the men she interviews， & her account of that affair is primarily what the book is about， although she also exposes a lot I initially thought this was an account of a woman working on the male dominated offshore oil rigs。。。。。but that isn't it！ This is really mostly an account of a writer going to Scotland to interview offshore oil riggers/workers about their jobs， & their unique lives/lifestyles。。。。for a book she's writing about their particular careers。 She ends up having an affair with one of the men she interviews， & her account of that affair is primarily what the book is about， although she also exposes a lot about the lifestyle those men lead， on & off the rigs/jobs。 I can't say that I was surprised at 。。。。。any of it， really。。。。。。。。but it was interesting。 It's a quick read。I received an e-ARC of the book from the publisher Ecco via NetGalley in exchange for reading it & providing a fair & honest review。 。。。more
Ray 노잠
，
The reviews on Goodreads for this book are hilarious as they oscillate between "I thought it was going to be about oil rigs" to "how dare this broken person sleep with a married man"。It's a memoir。 Not a particularly good or bad one。 It's a book writing itself as she fucks and flirts with oil rig workers for some unfathomable reason whilst experiencing an uninspired midlife crisis。 The reviews on Goodreads for this book are hilarious as they oscillate between "I thought it was going to be about oil rigs" to "how dare this broken person sleep with a married man"。It's a memoir。 Not a particularly good or bad one。 It's a book writing itself as she fucks and flirts with oil rig workers for some unfathomable reason whilst experiencing an uninspired midlife crisis。 。。。more
Ellie
，
Kind of hilarious to me that people are giving this MEMOIR 1 star they’re mad that Tabitha Lasley is the “main character” of her MEMOIR？？ Super interesting， very honest， excellent writing。 Sex， drugs and oil rigs baby！
Rebecca
，
Thanks to Ecco and Bibliolifestyle for my gifted copy！
Natalia Weissfeld
，
-ARC provided by publisher in exchange for honest review-In this Memoir， the author tells us about her research for a book about men who work at the offshore oil rigs on the North Sea。 She is interested in the way these men behave when there are no women around， and with that premise in mind， she conducts a series of interviews in different pubs in the city of Aberdeen， where these men gather when they are off duty。 That way， she meets Caden。 They have a passionate affair， but he is married and -ARC provided by publisher in exchange for honest review-In this Memoir， the author tells us about her research for a book about men who work at the offshore oil rigs on the North Sea。 She is interested in the way these men behave when there are no women around， and with that premise in mind， she conducts a series of interviews in different pubs in the city of Aberdeen， where these men gather when they are off duty。 That way， she meets Caden。 They have a passionate affair， but he is married and spends most of his time offshore。 In my opinion， the book is flawed。 I didn’t like the narrator/protagonist at all。 She can’t hide her misogynistic feelings towards EVERY OTHER WOMAN that she talks about in the book。 She is more interested in writing about her sex life than to really explore her original premise。 I think that the blurb is a little misleading。 I would never advice to not read a book （unless it is triggering in some way）， any book because I truly believe that every reading experience is different。 Just bear in mind that the book is not exactly about what it says it is。 The fact that is presented as a memoir， saves it from being completely misleading。 The writing is good。 。。。more
rebecca
，
was drawn in by wanting to read about an oil rig and the culture of who lives on board。 this was not that。 i only read a tiny bit of the synopsis and going back after dnf'ing i can see i was wrong to ever pick the book up because fully do not relate to the wanting 'to see what men are like with no women around' lol （also kind of a flawed premise but anyway）also couldn't really sympathise with her feelings over her affair with a married guy and got tired of reading about it。 she had a very 'im no was drawn in by wanting to read about an oil rig and the culture of who lives on board。 this was not that。 i only read a tiny bit of the synopsis and going back after dnf'ing i can see i was wrong to ever pick the book up because fully do not relate to the wanting 'to see what men are like with no women around' lol （also kind of a flawed premise but anyway）also couldn't really sympathise with her feelings over her affair with a married guy and got tired of reading about it。 she had a very 'im not the one who made promises' perspective on the whole thing which is an easy copout - obviously the married guy sucks more but its a very individualist & unempathetic point of view to basically say you bear no responsibility to be kind to be people and not act selfishly。 was gonna power through and finish given its relatively short but the perspective on other women left me feeling kinda pissed （she's， not shockingly， very kind about the married man cheating on his wife however - at least in the section that i read） it was like a 'not like other girls' ya pov except its a grown woman and a memoir。 also felt she had a kinda classist perspective and wasn't very self-aware on that （or in general）。 i feel like there's definitely a story to be told about the wives/families of offshore workers too but this writer is definitely not the one to tell it。given what i thought i was gonna be reading it was just a breathtakingly self-involved piece of writing （and i'm kinda self-involved myself so if *I* think that imagine how bad it is） like i don't need people writing memoirs to be perfect angels but some degree of self-awareness would be nice。 there wasn't enough insight into the topic i thought i was gonna be reading about - oil rigs - or any of the topics she actually wrote about - to make me want to keep reading。 （view spoiler）[ on a personal note i can only describe the experience of reading sea state like this: i didn't go to fettes （very posh school in scotland） but know people who did & honestly this was like if one of the girls who loved to talk shit about poor people but hook up with the boys at my school cause it was 'edgy' （a real thing my poor ears had to hear） got older and wrote a memoir。 just classism & internal misogyny abound。 （hide spoiler）] 。。。more
Kathleen Gray
，
Yes the writing is wonderful but halfway through I'd had enough of Lasley who I wanted to tell to just grow up。 This isn't a story about the men who work on the offshore oil rigs， although they loom large and I learned a lot。 It's the story of Lasley's failed relationship with one of them and how she spun out during a 6 month stint in Aberdeen when she was meant to be writing a book。 No moral judgment on her affair with Caden but it became increasingly clear to me that this wasn't a grand romanc Yes the writing is wonderful but halfway through I'd had enough of Lasley who I wanted to tell to just grow up。 This isn't a story about the men who work on the offshore oil rigs， although they loom large and I learned a lot。 It's the story of Lasley's failed relationship with one of them and how she spun out during a 6 month stint in Aberdeen when she was meant to be writing a book。 No moral judgment on her affair with Caden but it became increasingly clear to me that this wasn't a grand romance between people who are different in so many ways （particularly revealing， I think was that she kept and laid out the list of what he would eat。）。 There's excessive alcohol use， drug use， and so on。 Points to Lasley to laying herself bare for this but that may not be a positive。 Thanks to edelweiss for the ARC。 I'm not sure why she irritated me so much but she sure did。 。。。more
Tifany
，
Thank you to both NetGalley and Ecco for this ebook。 In Sea State， we meet Tabitha – newly single， quitting her job， and moving to Aberdeen， Scotland， to accomplish her goal of penning a book about the men who work on off-shore oil rigs。 The first man she interviews crosses the line from a journalistic relationship to an intimate one。 We are provided an unflinching look into the progression of this relationship， and the emotional toll it takes on both of them as they negotiate around his existin Thank you to both NetGalley and Ecco for this ebook。 In Sea State， we meet Tabitha – newly single， quitting her job， and moving to Aberdeen， Scotland， to accomplish her goal of penning a book about the men who work on off-shore oil rigs。 The first man she interviews crosses the line from a journalistic relationship to an intimate one。 We are provided an unflinching look into the progression of this relationship， and the emotional toll it takes on both of them as they negotiate around his existing marriage。That said， I entered into reading this memoir expecting more accounts of the men on the oil rigs。 I feel that we could have been privy to more backstories and viewpoints of these men – how their approach to life on the oil rig differed by their age， marital status， and home place。 。。。more
Katie Coleman
，
Special thanks to Ecco for the galley！ This memoir had so much potential。 From the blurb， I was extremely excited to read this memoir。 I had hoped for an exploration of the impact of the North Sea oil industry on its offshore workers。 My father-in-law works with a company that decommissions rigs off of Aberdeen （my husband lived there as a kid） and my husband managers a small energy company so I am quite familiar with the industry， and， in particular， the aging North Sea fields。 I was keen to le Special thanks to Ecco for the galley！ This memoir had so much potential。 From the blurb， I was extremely excited to read this memoir。 I had hoped for an exploration of the impact of the North Sea oil industry on its offshore workers。 My father-in-law works with a company that decommissions rigs off of Aberdeen （my husband lived there as a kid） and my husband managers a small energy company so I am quite familiar with the industry， and， in particular， the aging North Sea fields。 I was keen to learn more about the communities of workers living in Aberdeen， the texture of the city and the experience of working on the rigs as told by its workers， *especially* in a story told by a woman。Unfortunately， I found this book added little to my knowledge base -- the most interesting parts were the anecdotal prefaces to each chapter told in the voice of unnamed workers and the descriptions of Piper Alpha and other famous accidents/criminal negligence on behalf of the oil companies。 What this book is is a story of an affair gone wrong in the voice of the other woman， a topic both overdone and not approached here in a new or interesting way。 There is little self-reflection for a memoir。 While there were certainly undertones of social class here， the text seemed to reflect classist attitudes （especially towards the wife of the lover） rather than interrogate them。I really wanted to like this book， but in the end I felt it a clear missed opportunity to illuminate an often misunderstood and secretive industry。 I wanted to hear more from the rig workers。 In short， I wanted more journalism and less sex。 。。。more
Annette Morris
，
Lightweight and anecdotal。 The author trawled around the bars and nightclubs of Aberdeen flirting and chatting with offshore oil rig workers and having an affair with at least one of them。 She recorded some of her so-called interviews and regurgitated parts of them are scattered throughout the book。 Some of them are quite interesting as snippets of bar room talk but she doesn't appear to have done any fact checking or indeed any other kind of objective research whatsoever。 Nevertheless these sma Lightweight and anecdotal。 The author trawled around the bars and nightclubs of Aberdeen flirting and chatting with offshore oil rig workers and having an affair with at least one of them。 She recorded some of her so-called interviews and regurgitated parts of them are scattered throughout the book。 Some of them are quite interesting as snippets of bar room talk but she doesn't appear to have done any fact checking or indeed any other kind of objective research whatsoever。 Nevertheless these smatterings are by far the most interesting bits in the book with the bulk of it being dedicated to the author herself and her affair with a married man with children which was really not interesting at all。 。。。more
James Beggarly
，
Thanks to Netgalley and Ecco for the ebook。 After the end of a toxic relationship， Tabitha decides to quit her job at a London magazine and move to Aberdeen， Scotland， to finally write her book about men who work on offshore oil rigs。 She dives in with interviews with the men who work the demanding shifts of three weeks on and three weeks off， as the spend there disposable income， drink and take drugs and tell stories about how hard the work is， but also how hard it is to acclimate when they get Thanks to Netgalley and Ecco for the ebook。 After the end of a toxic relationship， Tabitha decides to quit her job at a London magazine and move to Aberdeen， Scotland， to finally write her book about men who work on offshore oil rigs。 She dives in with interviews with the men who work the demanding shifts of three weeks on and three weeks off， as the spend there disposable income， drink and take drugs and tell stories about how hard the work is， but also how hard it is to acclimate when they get back home to their wives and kids。 Tabitha throws herself into this world， even dating a married off shore worker that she expects more from than he can deliver。 She gets emotionally twisted from her time there， but has this lovely book as a reward。 。。。more
Kathy Kehoe
，
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 I thought this was going to be something different than what it was。 Basically a woman who drinks a lot and has an affair with a married man。
Sue May
，
I liked the writing but not wild about the book if that makes any sense。
Dan Sumption
，
I had the pleasure of hearing Tabitha read from this book at The Gordon Burn prize giving， for which it was shortlisted。 I bought it immediately and， having read it， can say that it is amazing。 A raw and revealing memoir， about how the loss of years of work on the authors previous book drove her to uproot her life， move to Aberdeen and interview 103 oil platform workers。 I learn as much about the ins and out of the oil industry， the shady practices of the companies within it， and the lives of of I had the pleasure of hearing Tabitha read from this book at The Gordon Burn prize giving， for which it was shortlisted。 I bought it immediately and， having read it， can say that it is amazing。 A raw and revealing memoir， about how the loss of years of work on the authors previous book drove her to uproot her life， move to Aberdeen and interview 103 oil platform workers。 I learn as much about the ins and out of the oil industry， the shady practices of the companies within it， and the lives of of the men who work to extract it， as I would from any non-fiction book， but as well as that I got to read Tabitha's wonderful writing， and the story of of her relationship with one man in particular， her first interviewee， and how that affected her life。 。。。more
Sarah Jameson
，
A strange hybrid of memoir， primarily during the research period， interspersed with interviews and facts about the lives of offshore workers。 I found the description of her affair and its aftermath the most impactful and interesting part of the book。
Roz Morris
，
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 I devoured this in three fascinated sittings。 These are men who work in realms that exist for most of us only as enigmatic names - Brent， Piper， Tern， Ninian and Tiffany （which sounds like a poodle but is a rig that is 'rotten to the core'）。 The work is physically gruelling， the routine requires three-week rotations， crammed together with other men。 For leisure， they argue on Facetime with their families at home， flirt on Tinder， jostle for space in the gym， or binge on box sets。 If they're on a I devoured this in three fascinated sittings。 These are men who work in realms that exist for most of us only as enigmatic names - Brent， Piper， Tern， Ninian and Tiffany （which sounds like a poodle but is a rig that is 'rotten to the core'）。 The work is physically gruelling， the routine requires three-week rotations， crammed together with other men。 For leisure， they argue on Facetime with their families at home， flirt on Tinder， jostle for space in the gym， or binge on box sets。 If they're on an old rig with double rooms， they have to hope their room-mate allows them enough personal space。 It's pretty much like a spell in prison， just with high pay， and the added dangers of a hostile and dangerous environment。 At one point， an offshore worker makes the point that he is sitting on a floating bomb。 When they get home on three weeks of leave， they're expected to rejoin normal life - families， wives - when they're actually exploding from stress。 What does this do to their relationships， their psyches？ Tabitha Lasley spent six months getting to know these men。 Indeed， she gets to know one of them rather better than she intended to， as she becomes his escape from the home life he can't cope with。 But Lasley is a bit of a badass herself - and you need to be， to have the guts to drill into the reality of these people。It's beautifully written。 She has an accurate and entertaining eye for description， especially of physicality。 She is utterly honest when she examines the difficulties of the personal situation she finds herself in。 There is a novelist's sensibility here too， with a subtle development of threads and arcs。 Certain elements repeat in a pleasing way - such as the tale of a notorious and distressing suicide。 Later we recognise the chat-up line used by her lover Caden， now being used， verbatim， by a completely different man who has never met him。 It is as if they have a general and limited phrasebook for dealing with onshore life。 That same man asks her about the book she's writing。 Is it a thriller？ he says。 'More of a mystery，' she replies。 Yes， that's it absolutely。 And a very fine one。 。。。more
Tory
，
I mean， by her own admission， she couldn't write the book she wanted to write -- what men are like when no women are around -- because， of， y'know， her being a woman and all。 The book lacked on that account。 Overall， it was interesting and well-written， but I couldn't really think of who I'd recommend it to。 Someone who likes an off-the-beaten-path memoir， I guess？ I mean， by her own admission， she couldn't write the book she wanted to write -- what men are like when no women are around -- because， of， y'know， her being a woman and all。 The book lacked on that account。 Overall， it was interesting and well-written， but I couldn't really think of who I'd recommend it to。 Someone who likes an off-the-beaten-path memoir， I guess？ 。。。more
Becki
，
Vulgar。 The vulgarities interfere with the story telling。 Thought it was a book about the men who work on oil rigs。 More about her attraction to those men， sleeping with some/one。 Did not finish。 Just a pointless book that went nowhere。 Ugh。 Love memoirs -this was just blah words with the "c" word sprinkled in throughout。 Vulgar。 The vulgarities interfere with the story telling。 Thought it was a book about the men who work on oil rigs。 More about her attraction to those men， sleeping with some/one。 Did not finish。 Just a pointless book that went nowhere。 Ugh。 Love memoirs -this was just blah words with the "c" word sprinkled in throughout。 。。。more
PfromJ
，
3+
Madison
，
I DNF'd this book at about 50 pages in， because I thought the way the author narrated/wrote was incredibly boring。 As far as memoirs go， this was not enthralling and it did not capture any of the atmosphere of where Ms。 Lasley was interviewing this oil riggers。 Overall， a disappointment。 I DNF'd this book at about 50 pages in， because I thought the way the author narrated/wrote was incredibly boring。 As far as memoirs go， this was not enthralling and it did not capture any of the atmosphere of where Ms。 Lasley was interviewing this oil riggers。 Overall， a disappointment。 。。。more
PlumOse
，
At times this felt like I was reading two different books。 One was an intelligently written anti-chick-lit memoir。 I liked the narrative spun by the author， the account of her life， her thoughts， her strange relationships。 The conversations she had with oil rig workers seemed to belong to this part of the book， curious interviews and observations still wrapped up in her as the central character。 Her heedless rush into a bad relationship， terribly familiar - the relationship that begins simply be At times this felt like I was reading two different books。 One was an intelligently written anti-chick-lit memoir。 I liked the narrative spun by the author， the account of her life， her thoughts， her strange relationships。 The conversations she had with oil rig workers seemed to belong to this part of the book， curious interviews and observations still wrapped up in her as the central character。 Her heedless rush into a bad relationship， terribly familiar - the relationship that begins simply because the person is interested and only desirable because they are distinctly not the previous long-term boyfriend。 Her drifting lifestyle from London to Scotland and further south again， from one relationship to another， resembles the oil rig workers， which I suppose is the point。 She does not explain whether she found what she was looking for in Scotland。 Maybe there seemed a lack of reflection or growth from this experience， but then， this is not just part memoir， there is also the second purpose of the book， the factual sections dealing specifically with oil rigs。For these parts of the book， there were brief descriptions of actual oil rigs。 Accounts of accidents。 Comments on prices， names， conditions， pay。 And these could be jarring， because aside from the occasional frank and dark anecdote， I actually found the factual sections pretty boring。 Even the writing style of these sections was journalistic， workmanlike， and unlovely。 And disjointed， since the basic information was missing。 I still have no idea how an oil rig works， how much the workers are paid， even what they do on the rigs。 How many of them are there in the North Sea？ How many people work on them？ How do you become an oil rig worker？ What education do you need？ How long have the rigs been there？ Are there and have there ever been any women on the rigs？ The overall impression is that these workers are generally unknowable， crude， rough， inclined to buy multiple flatscreen TVs and stand about at bars drinking a lot of alcohol when on land。 With the author's sketch of Aberdeen as an ugly place populated by unattractive white men and tarty 'princesses' （unfair？ I live in Scotland but have never been to this city， not sure I'd want to now。。。）， I was particularly interested in one figure of non-white， non-Scottish ethnicity。 It was disappointing that his background and experience weren't explored。 I feel I learned more about early hardcore music and this Caden， who is so over-described that the imagination conjures him up as a kind of moronic white-skinned buff shaven hobbit。A strange book。 It left me wanting more。 With 103 interviews， I would have liked some of the more interesting transcripts put into the book。 A casual reading might be that she went to Aberdeen， rebounded into an excruciatingly， obviously doomed affair， went out a couple of times to take drugs and dance， fell apart in a breakup， then dashed out to drink pints and talk to a handful of anonymous men。 Where are the signs of the 103 interviews？ I'm not sure。But there is something greater， darker， deeper there。 For such a strange， slim book， it was very readable， and very compelling。 。。。more
Irene
，
This book sounded great， very interesting and it could have been had there been more about the men who work on oil rigs and a lot less of the author’s ramblings and maybe either written a memoir or concentrated solely on the workers。 It was very hard to feel any sympathy for anyone who behaves the way the writer did。 The few bits that were about life on the rigs and factual information was enjoyable but sadly not the rest of it。 It was a struggle to read the whole book as it was confusing plus I This book sounded great， very interesting and it could have been had there been more about the men who work on oil rigs and a lot less of the author’s ramblings and maybe either written a memoir or concentrated solely on the workers。 It was very hard to feel any sympathy for anyone who behaves the way the writer did。 The few bits that were about life on the rigs and factual information was enjoyable but sadly not the rest of it。 It was a struggle to read the whole book as it was confusing plus I wasn’t keen on how it was written。 Shame as it had promise。 I was given this ARC by the publisher and Netgalley in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more
Brian Hamilton
，
Sea State is a misleading book， from the outset this is clear。 Do not expect an expose on unfettered masculinity on an oil rig， Tabitha never makes it offshore。 Instead， she flees a relationship in London and moves to Aberdeen。She doesn't make it past the nearest pub and starts interviewing offshore workers。 She falls for one of the first men she interviews and embarks into an affair that is doomed to fail。 It is clear that the man will never leave his wife and Tabitha spends a good chunk of the Sea State is a misleading book， from the outset this is clear。 Do not expect an expose on unfettered masculinity on an oil rig， Tabitha never makes it offshore。 Instead， she flees a relationship in London and moves to Aberdeen。She doesn't make it past the nearest pub and starts interviewing offshore workers。 She falls for one of the first men she interviews and embarks into an affair that is doomed to fail。 It is clear that the man will never leave his wife and Tabitha spends a good chunk of the book catching up with us on that realisation。The beauty of the book lies in this， Tabitha writes beautifully about how she craves for her lover on an almost celullar level。So， forget notions of tales of derring do on offshore installations， this is a dive into misplaced love and slow realisation。Still， for what it is instead of what it purports to be， this is a well written and interesting read。 Tabitha Lasley has a strong voice and the gift of writing。 I will be looking out for her future books。 。。。more
Heidi Vereecken
，
Het boek gaat niet echt diep in op het thema maar dat wist ik op voorhand want had al aantal reviews gelezen。 Desalnietemin ging ik naarmate het boek vorderde van haar schrijfstijl houden。 Leuke tussendoor lectuur。
Kiley Malloy
，
much less about the oil industry then it is about the author herself， through the lens of oil riggers。 still kind of good though; really enjoyed the writing and warmed up to tabitha as a person， too。
Samantha
，
I knew this was mainly a personal memoir so i avoided the feelings of being cheated that I think others have had。 I really enjoyed it， read it in 2 days。 It was good writing。
Katie。dorny
，
Dnf @ page 25 I have no time for a woman who feels sorry for herself by choosing to have an affair with a married man。 Also this is meant to be about life on oil rigs not a self absorbed woman who wants to describe sex to the reader constantly。
Stephen Doheny
，
This is a book about the buckled and butchered life experience of a corrosive individual， whose bad behaviours she hopes will shock and awe the reader。 In the present climate these toxic child women seem to be given free reign to do as they please， and expect compliments in return （she believes she is Wonder Woman I’ve read）。。。after they’ve bashed down their stories in books absent of any compassion or empathy， for the victims， caught up in the flux of their horrific adulterous scheming。 She see This is a book about the buckled and butchered life experience of a corrosive individual， whose bad behaviours she hopes will shock and awe the reader。 In the present climate these toxic child women seem to be given free reign to do as they please， and expect compliments in return （she believes she is Wonder Woman I’ve read）。。。after they’ve bashed down their stories in books absent of any compassion or empathy， for the victims， caught up in the flux of their horrific adulterous scheming。 She seems to be paying homage to the idiot she slept with， putting him up on a pedestal for all to see （including his long suffering wife no doubt）。 I read she apparently won’t date now， since it would be like treating heroin addiction with calpol。 Which is an odd thing to say， since she was dating someone else， for three and a half years， after her sordid affair？ She is a mess， desperate for attention and it would appear she has had an empathy/compassion bypass for wives and children included。 She will appeal to a certain kind of person， heavily invested in waxing egos of people who lack any respect for themselves or others。 The book is solely about， her binding， to an idiot and everything else is mere decoration。 After a cursory research of the Authors interviews， you start to build up a rough picture of what she truly represents， as a voice pushed hard， down the verbose corridors of literately promoted reviews; who was given such a high platform to enter the public conscious flows with ease。 She states in one interview the book is tainted with lies， to offset a challenge from the idiots wife， to stop its publication。 Can you imagine this poor woman’s humiliation（The wife）？ She sounds like a strong woman trying to defend her families reputation （The idiots folly）） from being exploited by a malignant narcissist。 Lasley has an indifferent， cold and mocking attitude towards this woman’s plight。 A woman whose family is broken; whose trust in her husband is lost， and whose children will feel the weight of that burden。 Lasley goes on to say she has no shame about taking this man away from his family。 That it was his responsibility to be strong for them， and not hers （imagine if we all felt this way。。。what a cruel World， that would be）。 Do people understand the gravity of such a statement？ She abdicates all responsibility， as though her actions in “flirtations and come-ons” were justifiable， leading to the inevitable seedy act。 She is always playing the victim and never looks at her self and the choices she made; in who she allowed into her life （poor baby）。 She lacks in abundance， a moral core; always projecting her failures onto others。 In another interview the story changes somewhat， to blaming her ex （came before the idiot） for her failures， claiming it was his fault that her boundaries became skewed （Do you see how the story is always changing and it’s never her fault）。 As far as I know her ex never held her down or tied her up， preventing her from leaving。 She prattles on about “wanting stuff” and wanting the 5 years she wasted on him， back。 Again， no one held her down against her will。 In other interviews she bemoans looking after her sisters children， further stating “Children are boring and don’t give you much in return” Are we seeing a picture yet of a deeply flawed character， bereft of compassion and empathy and with a “me me me”attitude？ An open feminist who blames men for all her ills。 Whilst she behaves in a fashion fitting of a。。。well。。。an immoral woman （let’s say that）。 But without seeing that。 She is scornful of the idiots wife; with her being a stay at home mother。 It’s non of her business how other people choose to lead their lives （Is she so deluded into thinking that she’s a good example of how to live your life？。。。you’ve got to be kidding me！！）。 She says in a radio talk， she wrote this book for women？ Which I would personally find insulting， if I was of that sex。 Does she honestly think women are so lowly， that they would get their cheap thrills， from such an immoral story？ Is this how she perceives women？ Throughout the book， she herself， has a contemptuous attitude， towards every female she speaks of。 She obviously doesn’t like women much。 She brags about how her ex wrote his own book， that got published， but at a tenth of the initial payment， that she received。 She was gleeful （Why is this important to her？。。。she behaves like a child） I could go on and on， but this isn’t as black and white as the book portrays; as some poor woman who was used and abused， then set adrift。 This is a cold woman， who will probably end up alone， with all her new stuff just adding to her misery and isolation。 Sometimes you need to dig deeper， instead of being stuck in a trance state of voyeurism， titillated by bumpkin from the mind of a coldly calculating woman。 She is morally， spiritually and mentally bankrupt of any redeeming qualities。 She should try to apply the “Golden rule” to her life， in a bid to become a better person。 She is awful， and in a disturbing fashion， probably thinks she is a radical thinker and pioneer of feminist doctrine。 But the reality is， she is just a sad， lonely and bitter woman。 If you’re looking for a heroine or hero in this story， it’s not Lasley or the idiot。 The real heroine is the wife， who looked after her children whilst dealing with the trauma of an adulterous husband。 Who fought to stop the publication of this mess of a book。 And who took him back， even though all trust is gone and her life is tainted with the foul memory of this tawdry affair。 Lasley is the villain who feels nothing beyond her own selfish wants and needs。 Her cold attitude， towards the idiots wife， is very disturbing to witness。 She’s dead inside。 She changes the narrative in her interviews， contradicting herself constantly。 As one German commenter said “She probably lives alone with three cats。” Because after this book， who could ever be bothered， taking her on， with a reminder of who she truly is， and who she truly wanted， languishing in a book， near by。 She probably has been told by the hangers-on， this is fearless writing。 It’s not， this is just the normal these days。 She gauged the societal acceptance of this kind of material well， and fed right into that toxic flow。 She is not brave， or different。 Just more of the same same。 Maybe a decade ago she wrote an article for a magazine， describing the struggles these families have within the oil industry-barely holding it together-with the men working away， for long periods of time。 She mentioned the high degree of marriage failures; in how fragile they are （like she cared）。 So what does she do， when she gets to Aberdeen？。。。she beds the very first married rigger she meets， that’s nice to her （it’s a good job she didn’t get into a conversation with the Salvation Army band， then） adding to that destruction she mentioned in her article。 The level of hypocrisy pouring from this woman is staggering to behold。 In her radio interviews she will only talk about one or the other of these two dynamics （the oil rigs and the men who work on them， or her affair） because to talk about them both would expose her as being the hypocrite she is。 She comes across as being cruel， wicked and self absorbed; and as fake as you like。 Being a twenty year long， cocaine addict， this is not surprising。 This woman is not of sound mind。 There really isn’t anything new here， to see。 And yes she has every right to degrade herself publicly， but she shouldn’t be held up as a role model for young woman to look up to and to emulate。 Societies have fallen into chaos throughout history when they’ve lost their moral compass。 Don’t be snared by flowery words， that cast shadows upon the mind。 She has plenty of acolytes that work within her industry， massaging her ego and claiming she is a fearless woman。 She’s far from being fearless。 She’s just a mess splattering herself down onto pages， to get noticed。 When we don’t call out bad behaviours， it all becomes meaningless。 She claims to have loved the idiot， but I don’t think she understands love （or even does， empathy and compassion， well）。 I truly believe this woman is driven by lust。 What do I base my assumptions upon？ Well after the idiot， leaves， to return to his family， Lasley， is straight onto tinder， to seek out a new sex partner？ （Who knows what else she got up to， that she hasn’t mentioned）。 Does this strike anyone， with one brain cell on active duty， as being a woman who was in love？ Love doesn’t work like this！！ In one of her articles she states， she struggles to go for more than 5 days， without finding a new relationship， after a break-up。 Where-as most of us take six months to a year， to process it all。 And with the book being replete with sex scenes， it should be obvious to all， as to what drives this woman and what she seeks out， in relationships。 It’s certainly not love， but most definitely lust。 She admits herself in the book， that there really isn’t much to the idiot， in the way of a having a verbal presence， or personality。 So， what about the idiot？ What do we have here， that’s so special， that it pushed Lasley to abandon all reason？ Well it goes something like this: a barely two dimensional rock-ape type; has shoe fetishes; likes to eat children’s food; shallow; vacant， and a weak man unable to protect his family from a predator。 His wife has more testicular bravity than this idiot could ever hope for; no matter how many tattoos， he has painted on his body。 And I’m pretty sure， if you could see him， you wouldn’t think he was the winning lotto ticket， either。 I can’t help but feel， Lasley， heavily embellishes a lot into her writing。 He sounds exciting doesn’t he？ yeah。。。（yawn）。 In her latest article， Lasley states。。。”she writes， because she bares grudges”。。。（and she hints at something; that this was the impetus， to push the book in a desired direction， which wasn’t mentioned in the blurb， obviously 。。so it changes again？）。 Something that has filtered down through her family lineage， apparently。 Which is absolute rubbish in regards to her articles， save one instance （her best friend invited her to the reception of her wedding， and not the main event， which Lasley took badly。。。one wonders why she wasn’t invited to the church？）。 Most of her articles are puerile and banal。 Anyway， it begs the question， “Who was the book aimed at， to hurt， or to get revenge upon？” Well， the obvious answer would be the idiots wife， for daring to stand up， and fight， to get her husband back。 The sad thing is， Lasley， feels so wronged by this woman， who was so completely wronged by these two sad souls， scheming behind her back。 It all starts to verge upon the insane。 There is no more crueller way， to torture any woman， or man for that matter， than to expose them to the sexual shenanigans of their spouses intercourse with someone else （the book）。 Lasley must be so pleased with herself。 Life has a way of throwing back-like a boomerang- the wrongs we throw out。 Maybe the idiots wife will throw him out， with the shame he’s brought to her doorstep， and then find someone who’ll respect her more。 Maybe he will crawl back to Lasley。 But whatever happens， I don’t think this woman will ever be satisfied， or even happy maybe。 If that’s even possible for someone so completely empty inside。 She believes， the idiot left her， because he couldn’t afford the alimony payments （is that all it took？） and couldn’t afford to keep them both。 Again， this isn’t how love works。 Love overcomes all obstacles。 This woman lives in cloud cuckoo land。 You really do need to strap your mind in， to combat her naivety （or stupidity。。。I don’t know which？） that flows from this woman’s “conscious” streams of delusions and banality。 She definitely has major issues， that run deep， and that she needs to address。 The wife’s family and friends will know about this book。 They will read it， and she （the wife） will hear the whispers， and feel the pity， or sense the ridicule from others， flowing her way。 This book is an abomination。 There is a hint in the book， as to why she wrote this story。 When she scribed， with her finger， upon the steamed mirror in the bathroom， their initials。。。whilst reciting in her mind “bound together，” she wasn’t kidding。 Because that’s what she did; she bound them together in the pages of a book （inseparable） and in spiteful revenge， for losing the idiot， to his wife and family。 Bound for life！！ Speculation of course， but as she says herself。。。”she writes， because she bares grudges”。 It’s the wrong reason for writing the book， though。。。a very sad， cruel and pitiful woman！！ She sold her soul， for wrongly projected vengeance， and temporary fame and fortune （from her vicious intrusion upon a sacred bond）。 The wife and children were the only victims， although Lasley would like you to think otherwise; whilst haemorrhaging a “poor me” mentality。 I would not be surprised if this woman ends up as a bitter spinster。 Anyway， she’s made her choices， and now she needs to live with them。 It is a shame， that she wasted her talent on something so utterly redundant， in the way of lifting people up， instead of feeding them more of the same-same distortions， bleeding through societies these days。 That destroy lives and lead the weak minded， down sewage spilled avenues of debauchery。 I’m surprised， that some women seem to be all over this book， like a bad rash-with praises？ I thought women were supposed to be the more emotionally in-tune sex？ The sex with the nurturing ingredient， that brings balance to things。 No shame， seems to be the theme， with many。 But， if it came to their doorstep， with someone as fridge-cold as Lasley， stealing away their husbands; abandoning their children， you can guarantee they wouldn’t be so glib。 Thankfully there are still real women left， pointing out the horror， of what this book stands for; it’s like a cancer spreading through societies。 The idiots wife， needs to ignore Lasley; it’s the only way to get under her skin。 Lasley feeds off negativity。 In the interviews， that I’ve heard and read， lasley talks about the wife， like she was a dirty cloth that needs to be discarded。 Such a heartless mess。 I hope the wife lets this woman go; to drift away， and to eventually be forgotten （ or at the very least， to become just a blip of recognition）。 And pity her， she is pitiful， and be thankful that she isn’t the same。 And I hope his wife finds her way here， and sees that not everyone is buying into the horse _ _ _ _ （fill in the blanks）。。 that the tabloid press put out， in regards to what this book was about。 Some， of course， are praising it （lost souls， that are unredeemable） but others are seeing this trash for what it is。 This is a Grudge Book。 She admits it herself， in her latest Esquire article。 It’s designed to destroy the idiots family。 If you ever do find yourself reading this comment （the wife） know this; the book was written， to destroy what’s most precious to you。 Your clown of a husband， invited a vampire into your lives， and she wants your blood， and to weaken your family。 Possibly， in the vain hope， of getting the idiot back。 She cares not， that your children are going to be infected by this book （if they ever get to know about it） and she cares not， about you （you are the main thrust of her vengeance）。 To defeat her， move away from the area you are in， if you have to。 Away from people who know。 Protect your family。 This is how you defeat a narcissist。 This book will fade away eventually， just like Lasley。 Don’t let her destroy you， or your family。 If the idiot ever goes back to her; that’s fine， let him。 Because she will make him as miserable as sin。 Just don’t let him back in。 Moving on。。。a question！！ Why do you think Lasley felt the desperate need to inform， all and sundry， that she masturbates？ “Yes we know， Lasley， it’s a thing！！ Many people do it， but most don’t feel the urgent need to advertise it to the World。 You’re not the first to do it， and you won’t be the last， believe it or not （shock horror）。。。get over yourself。” Has anyone worked this out yet？ What did she hope to achieve revealing this， do you think？ I’ve read a few comments from dirty old men， who allude to something， sexually arousing， about these revelations。 With a little chuckle about an article she had in place， in the Esquire magazine， that coincidently happened to be on page 69。 Is this what she wanted？ She just cheapens herself。 I mean she’s 40 years of age， and the wear and tear is starting to show。 However she was 35 when she started the dairy， but being a serious drug abuser， and with a drink habit， this combination would have aged her considerably。 So as well being a grudge book， was this also a last ditch attempt at garnering desire？ To feel wanted？ （sexually of course）。 And was this “diary” also in part， about her launching herself， onto that feminist walk （a certain kind of “women” walking down the streets， exposing their saggy bits and pieces， for all to see。。。you know the one） but in a book？ However， ultimately， it all comes together， and makes sense， when you realise this is the narcissist within。 And a part of that mentality is the attention seeker。 It’s the only thing that makes any sense。 Two things came to mind when I read that part of the diary。 The first was a word， and the second was a sentence。 The word was。。。”gross”。。。and the sentence was。。。”this woman needs help。” It wasn’t impressive or smart。 But again， she is an extreme narcissist。 I feel sorry for the poor sod who takes her on， having to deal with this foul book coming up in conversation， from time to time。 I hope she stays a spinster。 No man should take this burden， upon themselves。 This woman has no self-control; no dignity; no morals; no empathy and compassion for those she’s wronged; no respect for herself or others; no shame for her debaucheries; no love inside。 She is an irrelevance caught up in her own delusions， desperate for attention。 She adds nothing of worth to societies， and feeds a narcissistic personality， with a ravenous appetite， for all sicknesses and poisons; and to bolster up an inflamed ego that is beyond redemption。 If karma is a real thing， this woman is in for a shock; and quite rightly so。 She deserves to live the experience of the wife （minus the children thank goodness。。。can you imagine？） but without reconciliation。 A barren spinster alone， and forgotten。 These women who adopt ideologies， that bleed， in victimhood mentality-unable to think for themselves-end up destroying normal people’s lives; feeling no remorse for their actions。 Stuck in a me-me-me mentality。 These cry-babies， whose destructive behaviours are condoned by others of equal measure; caught up in the wake of these poisonous programs。 Pathetic！ 。。。more
Audrey H。
，
I really liked this cover， but as somebody who just suffered through this entire book DON’T LET IT FOOL YOU， this is absolutely horrible。 I’ll suspend my annoyance that this book wasn’t what I expected and instead rate it for what it is - a memoir-like account of the author thinking about writing a book about offshore rig workers （and in the process having a toxic affair with one）。 I’d say this book is 50% details on her affair （including her sex life）， 10% insulting other women， 20% getting dru I really liked this cover， but as somebody who just suffered through this entire book DON’T LET IT FOOL YOU， this is absolutely horrible。 I’ll suspend my annoyance that this book wasn’t what I expected and instead rate it for what it is - a memoir-like account of the author thinking about writing a book about offshore rig workers （and in the process having a toxic affair with one）。 I’d say this book is 50% details on her affair （including her sex life）， 10% insulting other women， 20% getting drunk and stuck in her own mind about how her life isn’t going how she expected by her mid-thirties， and 20% “interviewing” aka flirting with offshore rig workers she meets in bars。 Even if you ignore the content， there’s also a lot of issues here with writing style and tone。 Lasley loves to drop obscure references to literature， shows， politics or local places and geography （as an American reader I was totally lost here）， that only add to isolate unfamiliar readers。 There is also a haughty and judgmental attitude that permeates the pages， especially when referring to other women。 Apparently she interviewed 103 men to try and write a future book about offshore rigs and the toxic masculinity onboard， but I sure as hell ain’t reading it。 I regrettably obtained a digital version of this book free from Netgalley and Ecco in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more
Reference
google book https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=Sea State: A Memoir
hathitrust digital library https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/ls?q1=Sea State: A Memoir&field1=ocr&a=srchls&ft=ft&lmt=ft
The British Library https://bll01.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/discovery/search?query=any,contains,Sea State: A Memoir&tab=LibraryCatalog&search_scope=Not_BL_Suppress&vid=44BL_INST:BLL01&lang=en&offset=0